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Metacom
08-08-2005, 02:32 PM
Inspired by the pit thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=328779), I think it's time for a new Straight Dope collaborative fiction effort. I'll write the first paragraph or two, and other people can take it from there in turn. I'll work in several "family dysfunction/tragedy" hooks; feel free to develop one or all of them. :)

Generic Lifetime Movie

Mary Beth Sue Anne Miller sighed deeply and pulled the plug in the kitchen sink, letting the murky grey water swirl down the drain. She let her water-logged hands drip-dry into the receeding water for a few moments before wiping them on a threadbare apron and turning around. She nearly lost her footing and bumped against the kitchen table, causing the half-empty wine bottle on top to rock back and forth before settling down. She hung her apron on the hook by the door and glanced down the hall, to the bathroom door.

"Are you doing OK in their Sue Beth? You've been in there over an hour. Do you want some of Grandma Anne Mary's metamucil with your dinner?"

The toilet quickly flushed and her daughters voice echoed back: "Go away mom, I'm fine. You're not the boss of me!! You don't know me!"

Mary Beth Sue Anne frowned and walked in to the living room, where Bobbie Ray was lethargically punching buttons his his Playstation's controller.

"How's your headache, Bobby, did the aspirin help?"

"No, momma. I still have the headache, and it's gettin' worse! I'm starting to see things all fuzzy and my arms and legs are feeling so week!"

"It'll get better, boy, it's got to! We don't got no insurance since your daddy got layed off! If you tell him 'bout this it's just gonna make him worse so you keep quite!"

Mary Beth Sue Anne quickly turned and walked out of the room as Bobby Ray began to softly sob, her lip quivering as she bit back tears of her own.

The abrasive rumbling sound of a car eratically speeding up the gravel driveway anounced that Ray Bobby John Miller was home.

Evil Captor
08-10-2005, 06:44 PM
Inspired by the pit thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=328779), I think it's time for a new Straight Dope collaborative fiction effort. I'll write the first paragraph or two, and other people can take it from there in turn. I'll work in several "family dysfunction/tragedy" hooks; feel free to develop one or all of them. :)

Generic Lifetime Movie

Mary Beth Sue Anne Miller sighed deeply and pulled the plug in the kitchen sink, letting the murky grey water swirl down the drain. She let her water-logged hands drip-dry into the receeding water for a few moments before wiping them on a threadbare apron and turning around. She nearly lost her footing and bumped against the kitchen table, causing the half-empty wine bottle on top to rock back and forth before settling down. She hung her apron on the hook by the door and glanced down the hall, to the bathroom door.

"Are you doing OK in their Sue Beth? You've been in there over an hour. Do you want some of Grandma Anne Mary's metamucil with your dinner?"

The toilet quickly flushed and her daughters voice echoed back: "Go away mom, I'm fine. You're not the boss of me!! You don't know me!"

Mary Beth Sue Anne frowned and walked in to the living room, where Bobbie Ray was lethargically punching buttons his his Playstation's controller.

"How's your headache, Bobby, did the aspirin help?"

"No, momma. I still have the headache, and it's gettin' worse! I'm starting to see things all fuzzy and my arms and legs are feeling so week!"

"It'll get better, boy, it's got to! We don't got no insurance since your daddy got layed off! If you tell him 'bout this it's just gonna make him worse so you keep quite!"

Mary Beth Sue Anne quickly turned and walked out of the room as Bobby Ray began to softly sob, her lip quivering as she bit back tears of her own.

The abrasive rumbling sound of a car eratically speeding up the gravel driveway anounced that Ray Bobby John Miller was home.

Ray Bobby John Miller stumbled into the house, his hair and clothes disheveled from his job as a junior assistant paint fume sniffer at an asbestos plant.

"Beer," he said as his only greeting to Marybeth. She was already pulling a cold one out of the refrigerator.

"How'd your day go, honey?" Marybeth asked in her sweetest voice.

"I ... don't remember," said Ray Bobby. It was often thus at the Al Z. Heimer Asbestos plant, where the chemicals that wafted through the air often left the entire production facility woosy and amnesiacal. This was the secret of Ray Bobby's longetivity at the plant, as he was unable to remember how much he hated working there, and his supervisors were unable to remember whatever outrages he'd committed during the day.

As he drank, Ray Bobby idly picked up a kitten and strangled it.

"Y' been studyin' that porn I gotcha?" Ray Bobby asked.

"Sure!" Marybeth said brightly. "I've gotten all sort of good ideas from "Degraded Doormat Debutantes."

What about Sue Beth?" Ray Bobby asked. "She been keeping up with HER porn?"