Faith Hill: Breathe on This, You Soggy Bitch!

[Brunetter]

Jesus Fucking Christ.

If I turn on my radio one more time and hear that screeching bitch wailing about how great she is at breathing and the intense pleasure that it brings her, I think I am going to drive my ass down to Alabama or wherever it is all these country stars live and ram a dead gopher down her throat.

"Breathe on THIS!" I will shriek hysterically, my eyes glowing fiercely.

She will choke on the mangy rotten carcass (did I mention, it's been dead a while? Think the raccoon mascot from the Tom Green show), trying desperately to suck in enough air to sustain her pathetic whining voice long enough to persuade me to stop.

Her eyes will start to roll back in her head, and her gag reflex will kick in, causing her mouth to fill with vomit so vile and putrescent that the only thing exceeding its limits of disgustingness in in fact the very song she is being punished for. It won't be long after that, she'll be dead in just a few moments.

She deserves worse, I know.

Then I'll go after the writers of that pathetic piece of whinery ...

[Bluepony]

Nevertheless, the video rules!! Then again, I'm just an ignorant Southern boy. :D

[CanadianSue]

Note to self.. never breath while near Brunetter.

[yosemite]

Sheesh, switch the radio station! Switch to CDs or tapes!

I don't tolerate listening to music that drives me batty. Unless you are trapped in a workplace that chooses the radio station, the remedy for Ms. Hill's screeching is obvious.

[Brunetter]

Yosemite babe, although I often agree with what you have to say, I do need to set you straight on this one.

There is ONE radio station receivable in this town.

And it seems that their playlist instructions are to play this song EVERY HOUR WITHOUT FAIL.

I am not usually very picky about music ... I will put up with just about anything to keep me company on my long drives (at home, I have different choices... in the car, it's the radio or nothing). But when I hear a song I consider *this* bad ... and when I hear it *every* time I get in the car ... forgive me, but my usual even temper is a little stretched!

[SPOOFE]

Brunetter, m'dear, this is why I generally avoid music (I stick with game music, like the Descent II soundtrack... woohoo!).

However, if ya needs help placing the slapdown on someone, I'll give ya a hand any day of the week.

[TwistofFate]

Brunetter, here's what to do.

Sing as loud as you can when that song comes on (turn down the volume on the radio) and instead of that song, sing "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones.
Anyone who ever sees you doing this will be sure never to give you any shit ever again!

[Coldfire]

1) Who is Faith Hill (sorry, I ain't too hip these days)?
2) Is she worse than ManIAm Scary?

[Bluepony]

Coldfire,

She's a goddess us dumb country-western hicks listen to and slobber all over her videos. Very easy on the eyes and a great voice to boot.

Yeah, granted, this ain't high-brow, cerebral music, but what the hell, you can dance to it and drink beer.

[Louie]

Did she rip off Bush's "Breathe"?

[LouisB]

Why not just turn the damn car radio off the instant the song starts? Wait a few minutes and turn the damn car radio on again. Seems simple enough to me but what do I know?

[ponch]

I wouldn't blame Faith Hill, I blame those lame ass radio stations. No matter if it's country, rock, or New Rock...

every radio station has three of four songs that they play over and over again. I try to keep in on one station during work, but the same tired ass songs will be rotated every two hours.

I hate the radio. I'm getting old, I'm only listening it for talk radio...NPR and Howard.

[Rysdad]

Wow. Someone who hates Faith Hill. Probably hates cocker spaniel puppies, Christmas presents, and giggling babies, too.

[Una Persson]

Originally posted by Rysdad
Wow. Someone who hates Faith Hill.
Yes.

Probably hates cocker spaniel puppies
Don't like dogs in general.

Christmas presents
So bloody depressing,

and giggling babies, too.
Yuck!

[Kepi]

And it seems that their playlist instructions are to play this song EVERY HOUR WITHOUT FAIL.

And this is Faith's fault how? Maybe you should reserve the dead gopher/racoon for the fuckwads at the radio station.

In all honesty, I would do Faith in New York minute! And that's coming from a gay man.

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

Faith Hill brings out the worst of my mean-spirited, small-minded, insecure female jealousy.

I look like her on the INSIDE. Really. Don't have her voice though. God and she's rich! And isn't her husband cute, too? Or no? ARGH!

<whimpers>

But I agree, it's the dorks at the radio stations that make us really HATE artists. It's not they themselves are personally crooning the song into the mike 6 times a day.

[gobear]

Faith Hill is terrific! Radio stations may play her songs in maximum rotation, but that's fine by me. Save your ire for a more worthy target.


In all honesty, I would do Faith in New York minute! And that's coming from a gay man.

Apparently, not all that gay.

[Lazarus7]

Death to the evil that is Faith Hill !!! (truth be told, I don't care that much as I am an MP3 kind of guy so I can be selective when listening to tunes - switch to CBC when the music in the car sucks too!)

I just felt like I needed to support Brunetter! (plus I am always up for a good lynching)

[Rysdad]

Originally posted by Kepi
[quote]In all honesty, I would do Faith in New York minute! And that's coming from a gay man.

Hold it right there, bucko! No fair playing both sides of the fence! Faith is a hetero fantasy! (Ok, ok...you can have Ricky Martin)

And, to Anthracite...

Originally posted by Rysdad
Wow. Someone who hates Faith Hill.
------------------------------------------------------------
Yes.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Probably hates cocker spaniel puppies
-----------------------------------------------------------
Don't like dogs in general.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Christmas presents
-----------------------------------------------------------
So bloody depressing,
-----------------------------------------------------------
and giggling babies, too.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Yuck!

...if you're joking, that's pretty funny. If you're serious, then that's pretty sad.

[Kepi]

OK, Rysdad. I'll give you Faith and I'll take her husband Tim. Will that work? :)

[pepperlandgirl]

Rysand, I don't think Anth was joking.

As for Faith, well, I liked her a lot before she decided to go "pop". As a country diva, she was great. But now she's trying to be popular with everybody, (and obviously not succeeding) it's driving me crazy.
She and her hubby's concert tour came through here the other day. The stupid-ass critic said, "She's too pop, and not enough country." Then he proceded to name all of the country hits as the culprits, the worse part of the show, and the pop hits as the best part. :rolleyes: I think the critic is a fucking idiot, but hey, what do I know?

[Merlot]

Originally posted by Rysdad
Wow. Someone who hates Faith Hill. Probably hates cocker spaniel puppies, Christmas presents, and giggling babies, too.



WRRRRRRRRONG!

[conway]

I find country music annoying in general

What about her makes her "soggy?"

[kellibelli]

FUCK YOU ALL!

You think you have it tough??

Think again!

We have in Canada, CanCon laws (Canadian Content) meaning that so much of every radio hour MUSt be of canadian artists.....

Canadian artists.

Follow me here....
.
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.
.
.
.
.
Shania-fucking-Twain
.
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.
and
.
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Celine-cocksucker-Dion-------------ALL FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!


If I switch to the hard rock station....I get Ruch - whish is enough to make me jab dull pencils in my ears.

now, if you will excuse me, its time for my medication...
*twitch*

[jubei2k]

Originally posted by Lazarus7
Death to the evil that is Faith Hill !!! (truth be told, I don't care that much as I am an MP3 kind of guy so I can be selective when listening to tunes - switch to CBC when the music in the car sucks too!)

Yes yes, but you're forgetting one thing... she's hot!

[Rysdad]

Kepi...Tim's all yours. And tell him to get a new hat. The one he wears makes him look like an overripe mushroom.

Pepperlandgirl...I liked her country stuff, too. But now that my goddamn cable system dropped the Country Music Network, I only get to see Faith on VH1, so I'll take whatever I can get.

Merlot...huh?

Kelli...Shania is a bit more eye candy than singing talent, but she's tolerable, even enjoyable, in small doses. I would, however, open a vein if I had to listen to "La Petite Quebecois" too often. You have my deepest sympathy. Maybe now that she's preggers she'll take a break for a few years.

[Persephone]

I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of hearing Ms. Hill sing. But I hate her on principle.

My husband is a blues musician. A really, really good one. He can be a bit of a musical snob at times, but hey, I can live with that.

But when he tells me to be quiet, because the Pepsi commercial with Faith Hill is on, ahem. There's a problem.

Now, he's a guy like any other. He appreciates good hair & a nice set of hooters, and I can accept that. But when he says he likes her singing, no. He's lying.

If he'd just say "Hey, I hate her singing, but boy does she ever have a pretty set of jugs," I'd be fine with that. Men like tits. Nothing new about that. But when she makes him want to sacrifice his musical integrity, well....

I'll hold her down, you stuff the decaying rodent down her throat.

[Profane]

Thankfully I can say I've never hear her on the radio. I like some country, Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash etc. but I can't stand this drivel by the likes of Dixie Chicks, Shania & Faith. To me, they're right up there with N'Suck & Britney SPmyEARSarebleeding. Unfortunately, I have to see those god awful commercials all the time. The pepsi girl & Faith Hill together was obviously concocted by Satan, and is one of his finest achievements to date.

[Lazarus7]

Originally posted by jubei2k
Originally posted by Lazarus7
Death to the evil that is Faith Hill !!! (truth be told, I don't care that much as I am an MP3 kind of guy so I can be selective when listening to tunes - switch to CBC when the music in the car sucks too!)

Yes yes, but you're forgetting one thing... she's hot!

Yes ... but so is the girl who works at a nearby dutch store, and she does not think she is a sultry, sexy, songstress (she does have a nice pair of breasts though! - on an aside, I have noticed that they typically come in pairs; breasts that is)

[Merlot]

Originally posted by Rysdad

Merlot...huh?


I hate Faith Hill.

My spaniel just gave birth to 6 adorable puppies.

I still, at age 34, try to get a peak at my Christmas Presents.

I am typing this with a bouncing giggly baby boy on my lap!

HAH! :D