Help me understand these nerd behaviors

[Chairman Pow]

1: Runnning for no good reason. I often see nerds break out into all-out sprints. Usually, this is coming out of movie theaters. They'll break into a sprint for about fifteen yards (if that) and then slow it down to a quick walk before walking as fast as they can. This continues until they get to the crowd of people or a door.

2: Cracking necks. The nerds grab their heads and twist, like they're Rambo coming up behind some poor Commie guard and breaking their necks.

3: Jumping down the last few stairs. Especially while wearing trenchcoats. I think there's some sort of Batman/ninja thing going on here, but they always try from one step too many and lose their balance or nearly get brained by someone opening the door from the other side.

[Spatial Rift 47]

I used to do all of these. I'm such a dork. Here's my WAGs:

1: Uh, no idea. For me this wasn't so much movie theaters, which I've never even seen done, but where a downward incline levels out. I don't do this anymore, but rather than fight gravity all the way down I'd just let it move me faster, and you control that by breaking into a run.

2: This one I do because if I don't it happens anyway, from natural movements of my head.

3: I stopped doing this one after I sprained my ankle. I can't remember why I started doing it, but I know that I started as a young child. A holdover from my more exuberant days, I suppose.

[FlyingRamenMonster]

I do the nerd sprint, but I wouldn't be able to tell you why. I think it is the wind in my hair.

[Erinaceus europaeus]

I'm what you'd probably call a nerd.

1: Runnning for no good reason.

What the hell are you talking about? Most nerds I know don't run even if there is a good reason.

2: Cracking necks. The nerds grab their heads and twist, like they're Rambo coming up behind some poor Commie guard and breaking their necks.

What the hell are you talking about? I really don't have a clue.

3: Jumping down the last few stairs..

That's because it's FUN! Try it some time.

[Giant_Spongess]

Here are my guesses (I'm not a nerd! I'm not!):

1. A short, sugar-fueled burst of energy.

2. Long periods of time spent at a computer = stiff neck.

3. Cause it's cool!

[TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]

2. Long periods of time spent at a computer = stiff neck.


Definitely the reason I do it.

[TokyoBayer]

As a former (current? :eek: ) nerd, the idea to remember that while the rest of humanity figures out that such activities reduced attractiveness to the opposite sex, and quits juvenile behavior, nerds don't "get it" for much longer.

I was really surprised to find out how much efforts my current friends expended when they were going to high school, in order to be cool. I was just a D'nD playing nerd (pre PC days :eek: :eek: :eek: ) and wasn't aware of the connection between being cool and getting girls.

I'd still like to jump down the last few stairs, but too un-nerdy now. I guess that's why I like taking my young niece and nephew around, let's you act like a child and people admire you.

[Seven]

I'm what you'd probably call a nerd.



What the hell are you talking about? Most nerds I know don't run even if there is a good reason.



What the hell are you talking about? I really don't have a clue.



That's because it's FUN! Try it some time.

As you don't seem to know much about 1 and 2, perhaps you aren't a nerd at all.

Geek maybe?

[Kamino Neko]

2. Long periods of time spent at a computer = stiff neck.

Or a gaming table. Or reading. Or...so on. Nerd-types tend to have a lot of activities that tend to result in stiff, aching necks (and backs).

[Mangetout]

3: Jumping down the last few stairs. Especially while wearing trenchcoats. I think there's some sort of Batman/ninja thing going on here, but they always try from one step too many and lose their balance or nearly get brained by someone opening the door from the other side.Running or jumping while wearing a long coat means that the coat trails out behind you in a way that, if life were a movie, always looks cool. Life isn't a movie, so it doesn't necessarily look cool in reality, but that's no reason to put off trying.

[Anastasaeon]

1. It's fun!
2. Stiff neck?
3. It's fun!

[Beware of Doug]

1. ???????????
2. Reboot brain.
3. Late for class.

[Lynn Bodoni]

My brother does the cracking neck bit because he tries to crack/pop every joint in his body. He'll casually crack his toe joints (by slipping his feet out of his shoes and pressing his toes against the floor) while holding a conversation. When he gets up, he'll stretch and pop his whole body. He can even manage to crack his sternum. He claims that this takes talent. Possibly he's right.

I crack my knuckles. I started doing it when I was a kid. Now I do it because it relieves the ache in my joints temporarily.

[Max the Immortal]

At the risk of being redundant, I'll weigh in and say that nerds do all three simply because it's fun. They either don't know or don't care that these things are uncool.

[Erinaceus europaeus]

As you don't seem to know much about 1 and 2, perhaps you aren't a nerd at all.

Geek maybe?

Hmmm... Could be :) But still I've never seen anyone grab their head to twist their neck. Maybe it's an american thing?

[Derleth]

I don't break into sprints* and as a confirmed acrophobe the idea of jumping down stairs scares me, but cracking joints feels good. I've never cracked my sternum and I don't know how that's even possible, but I regularly crack elbows, knees, knuckles, toe knuckles, ankles, and various spinal joints.

*(I do, however, enjoy walking for hours in a semi-fugue state. I can lose myself in my ideas and fantasies and music just walking up and down the empty dirt road near where I live. To achieve this without tiring myself, I essentially set a 'cruise control' and maintain a steady pace the whole time. Breaking into sprints would negate that and probably force me to think about what my body's doing.)

[OtakuLoki]

1) Well, as a borderline claustrophobe, it's one way to get out of the crowd when you're leaving a movie theatre. However, I prefer to simply sit in the theatre seat and wait til all the other people have left, and I can amble out at my own comfortable pace.

2) Staring at computer screens can lead to stiff necks.

3) It's fun. I got into the habit of leaning far down, grabbing the handrails, and jumping down ladders (stairs to you landlubbers) while in the Navy. Part of this is because the angle for Navy ladders is so extreme you're more likely to do oneself an injury trying to step on each step while going down quickly, than if one jumps down. Never intentionally did it with a trenchcoat, though.

[Mangetout]

I'm sure the behaviour itself predates the movie, but I think it's a fairly safe bet that the geeks doing the trenchcoats/jumping thing will have, playing in their heads, the music from the lobby scene in The Matrix.

[Dorjän]

1. Even nerds need exercise.

2. Sitting in front of the computer all day leads to stiff necks!

3. Sorry, can't help ya there.

[Trunk]

As a corollary to the nerd sprint, they also tend to sprint with their arms basically pointing straight down, instead of bent at the elbows like a person who actually sprints properly.

Definitely adds to the nerdiness of the sprint.

The nerd sprint is also characterized by an exaggerated heel-toe roll of the foot with the leg swung out to the front and perhaps a forward torso lean, instead of an "on the toes" sprint with an upright torso like a real sprinter performs.

The nerd sprint is one of the most puzzling behaviors of Nerdus Erectus.

[BadBadger]

As a corollary to the nerd sprint, they also tend to sprint with their arms basically pointing straight down, instead of bent at the elbows like a person who actually sprints properly.

I can't get this image out of my head. It's of chickens scrambling around. Now they're probably doing so to avoid the chop. You don't reckon it's a basic flight or flight (sic) response for the nerds do you? Is the end of the nerd sprint typically characterised by a quick head swivvle? If so, I could be onto something.

[Scott Plaid]

Back when I was younger, I would fly down the whole freaking stairway, via jumping down with my hands more or less on each handrail. The matrix was fifteen years or so in the future, at the time.

[Mangetout]

Back when I was younger, I would fly down the whole freaking stairway, via jumping down with my hands more or less on each handrail. The matrix was fifteen years or so in the future, at the time.Sure, but if you did it now, wearing a long leather coat, you'd be playing the music in your head, simultaneously wondering to yourself if you could ought to try picking up a machine gun in the middle of a one-armed cartwheel.

[Ethilrist]

1. They're pretending they're playing Battlefield 2. They run until their sprint bar is used up, then they're back to a walk for a while.

2. They think it makes them look tough.

3. My son does this. He used to do it for a lot, and I warned him that he could hurt himself doing it, then he hurt his ankle and asked what we could do about it, and I said, "If you jump down the stairs, you waive the right to complain when you hurt your ankles." Then I gave him some Advil.

[audiobottle]

Hmm... As for the first one, I'd guess it's an intense hurry to be someplace, followed by a sudden realization that running is kind of tiring/distinctly "un-cool," followed again by "I want to be there NOW!" followed by....
#2. I do this because my job is to sit in front of a computer all day. Oh, and I've cracked my sternum on a few occasions, but definitely not on purpose. Kind of surprised me.
#3. Don't do it anymore, but back in my nerd prime days I did it because walking down all the stairs is slow.

[Thudlow Boink]

Running or jumping while wearing a long coat means that the coat trails out behind you in a way that, if life were a movie, always looks cool.
At the risk of being redundant, I'll weigh in and say that nerds do all three simply because it's fun. They either don't know or don't care that these things are uncool.
I find it interesting how there are different kinds of "cool." There's "nerd cool" and "non-nerd cool." "Non-nerd cool" would be dressing according to the latest fashions. "Nerd cool" would be dressing like a Klingon.

Also, there's "guy cool" and "girl cool." "Girl cool" would be a big sale at the shoe store. "Guy cool" would be stuff blowing up real good.

"Kid cool" would be green ketchup, or underwear with cartoon characters on it. "Adult cool" would be a new car, or hitting all green lights on a drive across town.

[BoringDad]

Back when I was younger, I would fly down the whole freaking stairway, via jumping down with my hands more or less on each handrail. Yeah, I used to do this too. It was great fun. Wow, I haven't done that since...well, OK. I have never stopped doing it. It's much harder when wearing a suit and those rotten slippery dress shoes.

Once you are married with children you once again no longer have to care about what is cool.

[D.E.S.K.Top668]

1: The nerdsprint is a combination of wanting to be some place "cool" NOW combined with a lack of stamina needed to sustain the run. For example, coming out of a theatre after watching the latest nerd-porn*, you want go and talk to your friends about it ASAP, but your body gives up pretty quickly.

2: A lot of nerd activities require you to be in one position for long periods of time. Cracking your neck just feels good. You can tell long time nerds by their abiity to crack their neck just by shaking their heads vigorously.

3:Partially related to 1, it's a desire to not waste time in some place not nerdcool. If we were athletic enough to jump the whole flight, we'd be doing that. It probably also has something to do with the usual nerd facination with superheros, martial arts movies, and video games. The trenchcoat wasn't a nerdccessory when I was a practicing nerd, but we still did it.

Just my $.02 - DESK
*My nerd-porn was War Games...Jeez, I'm old.

[ITR champion]

I have never cracked my neck nor seen anyone else doing so, so I can't help you there. As for behaviors one and three, they emerge from the desire to do something spontaneous and slightly exhilirating. Or as others have already said, fun. Nerd is another word for nonconformist. Nerds are the subculture (or rather one of the subcultures) who don't see the need to take up any particular behavior, fashion, vocabulary or speech style just because Hollywood and the advertising industry tell them to. Ergo there's no reason for them to care that other people will judge them nerdy if they vault over the last few stairs.

[Trunk]

I have never cracked my neck nor seen anyone else doing so, so I can't help you there. As for behaviors one and three, they emerge from the desire to do something spontaneous and slightly exhilirating. Or as others have already said, fun. Nerd is another word for nonconformist. Nerds are the subculture (or rather one of the subcultures) who don't see the need to take up any particular behavior, fashion, vocabulary or speech style just because Hollywood and the advertising industry tell them to. Ergo there's no reason for them to care that other people will judge them nerdy if they vault over the last few stairs.
You seem to suppose that jumping over the last few stairs is something we all want to do, but the constraints of polite society don't allow us.

Bah, I say.

The nerd is a weakling who compensates for this by mastering simple tasks without real competition attached. . .for example: needless sprinting, stair leaping, bo staff, and Lucas Bashing.

The nerd's hope is that a damsel will discover his athletic prowess when she sees a stair leap and then become his, or will at least blow on his dice.

What the poor nerd doesn't know is that a true jock could stair leap further and more gracefully if he actually desired to do so.

C'est la vie, nerdo!

[Chairman Pow]

Blow on his dice. Heh. "Come on, come on, poppa's gotta slay this dragon!"

Re: sprinting. I think the inclines have something to do with it. The places I remember seeing it most are on the downhill inclines (declines?) at two movie theaters I go to where nerds abound.

[elfbabe]

Chairman Pow, now that you've clarified that the sprint comes while walking downhill, I know all of these.

1. It's fun! Wheee! Plus, it's much easier than sprinting the same distance on a flat surface.

2. Manually twisting your head is an easier way to crack your neck than the normal one, and cracking your neck when it needs it feels good.

3. It's fun! Wheee!

Fortunately, I am now able to resist doing these things in public. ... most of the time.

[Malacandra]

I have a recurrent dream theme where I am descending staircases a whole flight at a time with one hand on the rail, and alighting lightly at each landing. My inner nerd must be in need of something or other (such as some equal time courtesy of my outer nerd, I suspect).

Last night I dreamt about bears, though.

[Seren]

Really? Jumping down stairs is considered nerdy?

23 years, and I'm just finding this out. Won't stop me from doing it though :) It's way too fun, 'specially in skirts.

[elmwood]

3: Jumping down the last few stairs. Especially while wearing trenchcoats.

Someone just tell me what the deal is with nerds and trenchcoats. Or, for alpha nerds, leather dusters.

[butler1850]

Someone just tell me what the deal is with nerds and trenchcoats. Or, for alpha nerds, leather dusters.

They are just plain cool jackets. They go with all of the current trends in "Geek Fashion". They shed water, take a beating, and have BIG pockets.

The problem is that the geeks aren't good looking enough to pull off the look.

-Butler
(Too short & fat for a nice leather duster) :D

[slortar]

I have a recurrent dream theme where I am descending staircases a whole flight at a time with one hand on the rail, and alighting lightly at each landing. My inner nerd must be in need of something or other (such as some equal time courtesy of my outer nerd, I suspect).

Last night I dreamt about bears, though.

I have the same dream except I never bother setting my feat down--I just weave back and forth between flights.

Otherwise, I'm far too cool to post in this thread.

[Scott Plaid]

butler1850: I don't agree, but please, read posts 10, 18, and 23.

[butler1850]

butler1850: I don't agree, but please, read posts 10, 18, and 23.

Perhaps... but all the wierdos I hung about with in High School had them... very Pre-Matrix.

It was the Swiss Army knife of jackets.

I had read those posts, but think that is only one reason... the main reason would be IMO the one I presented...

[ITR champion]

You seem to suppose that jumping over the last few stairs is something we all want to do, but the constraints of polite society don't allow us.

Bah, I say.

The nerd is a weakling who compensates for this by mastering simple tasks without real competition attached. . .for example: needless sprinting, stair leaping, bo staff, and Lucas Bashing.

The nerd's hope is that a damsel will discover his athletic prowess when she sees a stair leap and then become his, or will at least blow on his dice.

What the poor nerd doesn't know is that a true jock could stair leap further and more gracefully if he actually desired to do so.

C'est la vie, nerdo!

I never asserted or believed that everyone has a desire to leap down staircases. I would assert that everyone has a desire for some fun and spontaneity in his or her life, and that a lot of people are afraid to provide any because they're afraid of being uncool. I also don't agree that every nerd behavior can be explained as a pathetically failed attempt to attract women. Part of the nerd noncomformity is not believing that you must think about sex for every waking minute. I sincerely doubt that any bannister-vaulting nerd is thinking about attracting women.

[fifty-six]

This is strange.

I did all three of these in the 20 min. prior to reading this post.

Maby not to strage because they are regular activities of mine.

[Zebra]

It is because they haven't learned to be cool. (nerds = not cool)

They haven't learned that they must conform to the rest of the world and supress any urges to have non-authorized fun.


Nerds!

[Scott Plaid]

They are just plain cool jackets. They go with all of the current trends in "Geek Fashion". They shed water, take a beating, and have BIG pockets.

The problem is that the geeks aren't good looking enough to pull off the look.

-Butler
(Too short & fat for a nice leather duster) :DDoh, the hamster ate my post, and/or blocked out my view of your post. I was trying to reply to elmwood, not to you. In addition, I was saying I don't agree withe Matrix explination, but I was trying to tell elmwood it was the popular theory.

[BoringDad]

I also don't agree that every nerd behavior can be explained as a pathetically failed attempt to attract women. Part of the nerd noncomformity is not believing that you must think about sex for every waking minute. I sincerely doubt that any bannister-vaulting nerd is thinking about attracting women.
I agree and disagree with you.

I think Trunk is possibly right in his assertion that stair leaping is a physical skill that can be mastered outside any hint of competition or judgement. But I also I agree that stair vaulting is done for fun and not to attract mates. It is fun doing something that you have mastered, even if no-one else cares. If it was a pathetic attempt to attract mates, why do married nerds do it? Why do we do it when no one is watching? No, stari jumping is just for fun and no nerd cares what it looks like.

However, while the nerd is not thinking about attracting a mate by the act of stair jumping, I can state that while stair jumping most unmated nerds are thinking about attracting a mate. And mated nerds are thinking about mating with their mate. Haven't you people ever seen "Revenge of the Nerds"? What kind of nerd doesn't think about sex all the time? Nerds are just not willing to do some of the conformist things some people think are required to bring those thoughts to reality.

[MaxTheVool]

I think Trunk is possibly right in his assertion that stair leaping is a physical skill that can be mastered outside any hint of competition or judgement.

I don't think that stair-leaping is something that has to be MASTERED, per se, but it's definitely nerdy to like to learn random physical skills, such as juggling, balancing things on one's nose, skipping stones, tying knots, throwing playing cards, and so forth. If anyone wants to brawl with me in the above-described Minor Nerd Event Pentathlon, I'm there!


(But don't think that means that nerds can only engage in non-standard physical activities... nerds are surprisingly often good at sports, both in specific and in general. Who do you think invented Ultimate Frisbee?)

[Chairman Pow]

'specially in skirts.

I...uh...well I suppose it's not always nerdy....

[TokyoBayer]

It's way too fun, 'specially in skirts.I think we're going to need to see some pics, just for jumping techniques, of course :D

[MaxTheVool]

I think we're going to need to see some pics, just for jumping techniques, of course :D

Hey, remember, when a girl stumbles into a nerd thread, she is a precious natural resource to be shared and enjoyed by all, and should not be scared or startled away. Treat her as if she were a timid woodland creature!

[Chronos]

I got into the habit of leaning far down, grabbing the handrails, and jumping down ladders (stairs to you landlubbers) while in the Navy.That's how I do it, too, at least where the handrails are close enough together. Except I didn't learn in the Navy. See, there used to be a black cat that allowed us in her house, and she liked to sleep on the basement stairs. So whenever going down to the basement, I had to skip the stair she was sleeping on. Except that she picked a stair to sleep on at random. And the stairs were dark. And she was, as mentioned, a black cat. So I had to start either turning on the lights, or paying close attention... Or, skip all the steps.

Relevant both to this and to #1: Nerds move because we want to get from point A to point B. So why not get to point B quickly?

[Lissla Lissar]

Huh. I don't run, but I crack my neck when it's stiff, and I run down stairs. Why? I like running down stairs. It's fun. And my neck gets stiff from reading, computer stuff, tension, too much dancing, whatever.

It never occurred to me that those things were uncool. I don't really understand why I should worry that cracking my sore neck looks uncool. I know my husband (former trenchcoat wearing quasi-goth D&D playing martial arts guy) runs down stairs, too. I should ask him if he thinks those behaviours are specific to nerds.

Out of curiousty, Trunk, what's wrong with bo? Is iado or kendo or stickfighting superior?

[Seren]

Hey, remember, when a girl stumbles into a nerd thread, she is a precious natural resource to be shared and enjoyed by all, and should not be scared or startled away. Treat her as if she were a timid woodland creature!
:) I feel like a chipmunk now.

A big old nerdy chipmunk. I like to tell people "I'm not a girl, I'm an engineer."

Anyway, as for the skirt thing - it's fun with those flowy types of skirts. I really like how they move when I jump down stairs. Even without skirts it's fun though.

Er..wearing pants or shorts instead of skirts. Not just without skirts. :D

[Seren]

And I'll see if I can get a pic in the next couple days... :)

[Chairman Pow]

I think we're going to need to see some pics, just for jumping techniques, of course :D

Take notes dude, this is how it's done:

I...uh...well I suppose it's not always nerdy....

BTW, did anyone ever catch ALL CAPS GUY on the Atlanta Craigslist? That guy was absolutely brilliant. I have a saved archives although I haven't checked in the last month to see if he's still around.

[Chairman Pow]

And I'll see if I can get a pic in the next couple days... :)

Well, holy hell. I didn't read this far down before replying. Tokyo, you win.

Lissa There's nothing wrong per se with cracking your neck, it's just the manner in which I described - really, really obvious. Given that the nerds I know all think they can "still make Airborne Ranger by 35" despite the fact that their only exercise in the last 1X years consists of 1) Random pointless sprints and 3) Jumping down stairs.

Now, if you were going to, as one poster mentioned, crack your neck like those guys in Bloodsport and other martial arts movies, that'd be cool. Just remember, as much of a badass as that guy looks, he always gets his ass kicked in the end.

[SlyFrog]

You seem to suppose that jumping over the last few stairs is something we all want to do, but the constraints of polite society don't allow us.

Bah, I say.

The nerd is a weakling who compensates for this by mastering simple tasks without real competition attached. . .for example: needless sprinting, stair leaping, bo staff, and Lucas Bashing.

The nerd's hope is that a damsel will discover his athletic prowess when she sees a stair leap and then become his, or will at least blow on his dice.

What the poor nerd doesn't know is that a true jock could stair leap further and more gracefully if he actually desired to do so.

C'est la vie, nerdo!

It's frightening how close this is to what my answer is going to be.

I believe that you see these brief little physical flashes from the nerd because he is generally unatheletic, out of shape (being thing does not equal being in shape), and lacks the real desire or discipline to be either. However, the nerd in his heart of hearts does not want to believe that he couldn't be both, or secretly isn't both if pressed (much like the mild mannered hero in a bad comic book who discovers unknown and untapped strength when pressed). Therefore, he does these things under the deluded belief that by running 15 yards as fast as he can, he is showing his capability (and in his head, he really is running incredibly fast, although in "real time" it's the equivalent of a 6.2 40 yard dash).

[MaxTheVool]

Therefore, he does these things under the deluded belief that by running 15 yards as fast as he can, he is showing his capability (and in his head, he really is running incredibly fast, although in "real time" it's the equivalent of a 6.2 40 yard dash).

Yes, nerds are all completely lacking in self-awareness or any sense of reality. I think fat nerds know they're fat, and skinny weak nerds know they're skinny and weak. Playing around and pretending isn't the same as being deluded.


Anyhow, there are plenty of nerds who are perfectly reasonably fit. There is some connection between out-of-shapeness and nerddom, and it goes two ways: people who start out out of shape, ie, fat kids, are more likely to be sucked into nerddom in the first place, because it's somewhere where they'll be judged on the content of their character, or perhaps their knowledge of Star Trek trivia, instead of their weight. And if someone's primary hobby is Dungeons and Dragons, that makes it somewhat less likely that that person is in great shape, compared to someone who's primary hobby is, say, Tennis. Which doesn't mean someone can't play D&D and run marathons. It just means that the data point "person X plays D&D" makes it a bit less likely that person X has any other single hobby, such as tennis. Similarly, "person X likes to drink beer, go to bars, and watch football on TV" makes it less likely that person X is fit.

So, overall, nerds are probably a bit less fit than the average population. But only a bit. Of course, the average population isn't very fit, either. I mean, aside from tautological answers like "fitness buffs" or "athletes", what group IS fit?

[Banquet Bear]

... but, I don't do ANY of these nerdy things!!!


:: hands in nerd ID card ::