Urban Legends and the morons who perpetuate them

[iampunha]

Okay. First I got email about Bill 602P. This bill, which supposedly is going to make email cost ten cents per (amount of money per email varies), doesn't exist. So I don't mind doing the fucking 30-second ask.com search and totally debunking it.

Then today I get some bullshit email about how "Touched by an Angel" is going to be taken off the air because the word "God" is said in every episode. WTF????? That's fucking illegal, friends, last I checked. But, just to be sure, I do another ask.com search (this one takes less than 30 seconds) and gues what! This is bullshit as well!

Fucking . . . I know both the people who sent these to me. One of them is the fucking secretary of my academic team! You would THINK someone with supposed intelligence would have the two brain cells to rub together to fucking search online, if nowhere else, to validate this shit!

Anyone else fucking sick and tired of getting bullshit email, petitions and the like to stop things that aren't happening (Bill 602P and Petition 2493 or whatever the fuck it is)?

[Mr. Cynical]

And the very first thing I do whenever one of them comes to me is reply to ALL with the snopes URL. Hopefully, that'll nip it in the bud, and make the person who forwarded it to me think twice next time.

[neutron star]

I know someone who sends this tripe to me on a regular basis. The funniest part is wading through the obligatory 10-mile-long list of hosts the email passed through. The person who sends them to me does contract work for NASA, and I'm usually shocked by the number of hosts in the NASA domain that appear in the headers. No wonder the damn Mars Lander crashed. The rocket scientists were too busy worrying about carcinogens in their shampoo and $250 cookie recipes to do their work!


Often I reply with a snopes URL, but it never seems to do any good.

[Geek Mecha]

Last night I got an e-mail that basically said Coke was hydrochloric acid. It can dissolve your bones, it has a pH of such and such, imagine what it's doing to your intestines, blah blah. It reminded me of Cecil's column (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_222a.html), so I automatically knew it was bullshit. The friend who sent it to me is no dummy, so I'm a little disappointed in him for being unable to sniff out crap.

[Gr8Kat]

Hopefully, that'll nip it in the bud, and make the person who forwarded it to me think twice next time.

So naive. So, so naive. At least, it hasn't worked in my case. Either a.) the forwarder blithely ignores my replies and keeps forwarding me the same stuff over and over, or b.) I become their fact-checker. As in, I still get the same e-mail, but with an "is this for real" note at the top. Geezum crow, I forward the URL for snopes, datafellows, whatever my source is, each time with a "check here first next time" note, but it help. It just doesn't help.

[manhattan]

Originally posted by neutron star



Often I reply with a snopes URL, but it never seems to do any good.

That's because you have to do it the way Mr. Cynical does. You have to "reply to all." And along with the URL, you have to put in a comment like "this silly thing has been passed around more times than the world's largest joint." And you have to note repeat offenders ("Once again, Mary has been taken in by an urban legend.")

I've pretty much stopped receiving them, and somehow managed to keep as friends most of the offenders.

Sometimes I swear that the 2% of internet bandwidth not used by porn jpegs and mp3s is half-dedicated to UL email.

[Gr8Kat]

And along with the URL, you have to put in a comment like "this silly thing has been passed around more times than the world's largest joint." And you have to note repeat offenders ("Once again, Mary has been taken in by an urban legend.")

Eek! I don't think I'm quite that cruel--yet. Let's see if "Mary" sends me another "Win a Holiday" virus warning ;)

[Myrr21]

The worst part about the petitions is that even if the things were real, they would never be of any use--an internet petition means nothing, since people have many email adresses (I have at least 10). I have explained this in person to some people, and they do it anyway. Can I please just kill them?

[BoBettie]

I have every single mail I get with "fwd" in the subject automatically routed to my "trash" folder. This way, I just review it once in a while to make sure nothing important is in there (there never is) and do a batch dump.

For very persistant people, I usually write back something like "This account is for personal/business use only. Please do not forward these messages to me, as they count against my allotted server space and cause problems. Thank you."

or a simple "Just how fucking dumb ARE YOU?? You're dumber then dirt! And uglier then a hat full of assholes, to boot!"

That one usually does the trick.

Zette

[iampunha]

Originally posted by Zette
. . . or a simple "Just how fucking dumb ARE YOU?? You're dumber then dirt! And uglier then a hat full of assholes, to boot!"

But can these people at least spell?

:: grin, duck, run ::

[August West]

I've got a cousin who is guilty of this act, repeatedly. I replied to all, even though I don't know most of them, with my standard disclaimer. It didn't help, so I blocked her address. When she called to ask what was wrong with my e-mail I told her that, as far as I'm concerned, her e-mail priveleges were revoked. She got a new address and, so far, has restrained herself. Although, for a while, I did get the fact-checker treatment.

[as_u_wish]

I do the reply all and actually copy the text from the Snopes site, just in case the yahoos are too lazy to bother or too incompetent to know how to get there. Fighting ingnorance, one idiot at a time.

[mild hijack] In the same vein. I really, really hate it when people forward me oooey gooey stuff about friendship, hugs, largest cyber-snowball fight, etc. ad nauseum, and then instruct me to spread the love, complete the circle and be sure to send it back to the person who sent it to me "because you can't have too many friends, hugs, or whatever." I NEVER send it back. And I still get tons of it. Sigh.[/mild hijack]

(Oh and iampunha, thanks for picking me to be on your "team," I did notice, I'm just kinda quiet.)

Yuk, what an insipid pit post. I've been reading way too much sweet e-mail. Please feel free to insert assorted cuss words as desired. I did go back and take out the smilie.

[Byzantine]

I love to write back about my own personal experiences with whatever it is. I go into graphic, horrific detail. I go so over the top that even the biggest lamebrain can see how stupid the entire premise is.

IMHO this is a lot more fun and really drives the point home. THEN I turn them on to snopes.

[dropzone]

You people don't use ULs as stupidity detectors? It always helps to know some person is even dumber than she* acts.


* - Feminine pronoun used purposely because I'm thinking of a specific person**

** - Footnotes are probably illegal in The Pit, right? Look! as_u_wish posted a really girly message! And if THAT doesn't distract them from beating up on me, how about this? (http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/as_u_wish.html)

I dunno. It distracted ME.

[Wendell Wagner]

I actually managed to teach someone how to do research on UL's. She had sent me (and various other people) several of them, and each time I disproved them using snopes and other sites. I encouraged her to do her own research. (It probably helps if the person is already a friend who won't blow up if you correct them.) I also loaned her my copies of the Brunvand books. Eventually she did start doing her own research and is now replying to other people's UL's.

[Lynn Bodoni]

I have explained this in person to some people, and they do it anyway. Can I please just kill them?

Tell them that they're final contestants for the Darwin award first, THEN kill them if they offend again.

Lynn
One of Cecil's own Angels of Death

[Feynn]

I had a casual aquaintance send me this ICQ message:
"forward this and pictures will run across your screen"

My reply:

"I got that url and did as you asked, I forwarded it to three people. The picture thing worked but you forgot to tell me that the pictures were pornographic! My kids were watching for god's sake!"

I got a few pages of apologies before I told her the message was a load of crap.

She thanked me and I have received no more of these from her...

[speakeasy]

:: runs in panting ::

Hey guys!!! Everybody!!! I just heard from a friend at AT&T who heard from a guy a Lucent who knows a hacker that there is a new virus going around!!! It's so nasty, if you even read the subject line, your monitor will explode!!! And they figured out how to make it explode in just the right way to pop out both your eyes and leave them hanging on your face by the veins!!! Everybody hit the deck!!! Can't stay, gotta run, gotta spread the word!!!

[wring]

I have : forwarded the pertinent site debunking that particular UL, forwarded the UL site, said, no, this isn't correct, because of, done to reply to all stuff, GIVEN UL books to all my relatives, and I still, sigh, get them.

Once, some one sent me something that I said had to be bunk, BEFORE it hit the UL/snopes web sites [pat self on back] [/pat self on back] that one, in particular got me angry; The Kelsey Brooks whatever child missing one. this idiot brain dead mother takes a nap with her toddler, wakes to find her gone, looks around the house, calls the police, THEN sits at her computer screen setting up this photo and e-mail begging people to please help her find her child and forward the message.... without ONCE checking with the kids' friends on the block. As a mom, trust me, the first thing I do when my kid's not where I expect him, is to check with his friends (frankly before checking in with the police). jeez. and that one's STILL roaming around some 2 years after the kid was missing for a grand total of 3 hours. grrrrrrrrrrr.

[The Asbestos Mango]

I'm putting a band together. It's going to be called Susan DeLucci and the Miracle of Life.

[Rosebud]

Originally posted by Feynn
I had a casual aquaintance send me this ICQ message:
"forward this and pictures will run across your screen"

I get these kinds of things all the damn time, via e-mail, from people who should know better. I mean friends who are qualified to work in tech support. They also send me tons of "forward this to 27 people and receive a Gap/Victoria's Secret/Disney World/etc. gift certificate."

I just ignore and delete the friendship chain letter drivel unless (and this is more and more rare) it's genuinely touching or funny; a few of my friends and I do sometimes enjoy sharing some awful saccharine tearjerker but only to the two or three of us who we know will get a kick out of it (Who remembers the kids buying golden slippers so their mom could meet Jesus in style?). Of course, there haven't been many new chain letters lately and I'm sick to death of all of them at this point.

[redtail23]

Let's see...

I generally respond to the individual the first time, giving them the basic UL info and some links (including Snopes and one that goes thru basics of 'how to identify UL & chain-mail'. That usually doesn't work, but I've given them a fair chance. After that, I reply to ALL with the same info, usually accompanied by some (snide to scathing, depending on how often they do this) commentary.

I've only had one person try to use me as a fact-checker. I went along for a couple of times, but always just replied with links. The last time was when she had forwarded some garbage to a bunch of people and I replied to all. She sent me email apologizing and saying something like 'I know, I should have checked with you first.' I answered her very bluntly and said 'No, you should have looked it up first. If you can't take two minutes to websearch with the links I've sent you repeatedly, then don't send it out at all - just delete it. If even that is beyond your abilities, at least stop sending them to me.'

Haven't gotten anything from her since. Don't know if she's ticked & don't care. Of course, she's the same one that sent me an ACTUAL virus (Melissa, maybe?) having carefully changed the subject line and added a line asking "Can you tell me what this is?". !!!!

My boss does use me as a fact-checker; he knows I've been following ULs since long before the Web was around. And he gets away with it, being my boss and all.

I like the idea about listing personal experiences so over the top that it's unbelievable - that method's always worked for me to combat 'martyr syndrome'. I'll have to try that, if I ever have this problem again. I think word's gotten round - I don't see nearly as many of these as I used to. :D

My two favorite stories:

Someone sent me a chainmail. The Snopes site listed it not only as a chainmail, but as having a followup virus hoax chainmail. (Yeah, that one, can't remember the name.) I replied to sender with the appropriate Snopes link. Shortly afterward I received a plaintive email asking 'So how do I get rid of the virus?' :rolleyes:

I sent my dept coworkers a copy of the 'Free Money Virus'; it was the first I'd seen of the 'your appliances will be corrupted and your computer will throw itself out the window screaming' satires and it just cracked me up. One of my coworkers carefully caught me alone, "just to make sure it was a joke". Apparently was worried I'd sent her an actual virus!! :eek:

[Necros]

Myrr21 said:

The worst part about the petitions is that even if the things were real, they would never be of any use--an internet petition means nothing, since people have many email adresses (I have at least 10). I have explained this in person to some people, and they do it anyway. Can I please just kill them?



Actually, this isn't entirely true. In the "DVD Internet community," of which I consider myself a member, we use Internet petitions all the time to indicate to studios that a desire is there for this movie, or that feature. Often, they actually listen. While I have no doubt that, as you say, Myrr21, a random petition for marijuana legalization or what have you would be ignored, Internet petitions can actually be quite effective in certain narrow-scope applications.

[iampunha]

as_u_wish, get AIM. I wanna talk at you.



It would appear that those people who think those ULs are true aren't bothering to show their faces in here. [smiley deleted due to impending wrath of ChiefScott]

[dropzone]

[slight hijack cuz I haven't raised any hell today]

Have you folks noticed that UL believers and UL debunkers have something in common: a seriousness that borders on a complete lack of humor?

Lighten up! Laugh at them like I laugh at you!

[/slight hijack cuz I haven't raised any hell today]

[mouthbreather]

My favorite (or is that most hated?) are the

"Hi, my name is Linda from the Save the Children foundation. I'm here to tell you about little Suzy. She only has one arm because her father chewed the other one off over a peiod of 3 days. He also set her hair on fire and broke her legs off at the knees. Please forward this email, and the poor little shit will get 5 cents, etc.."

Last time I got one like that, I went straight to Hotmail, created an email account called "Save the Children Foundation" and replied to all from there,

"I regret to inform you that little suzy has died. You are all miserable excuses of human life. You can't take 5 seconds to help a child in excruciating pain. If there's one lesson you should take from this, it is to forward EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF EMAIL you get, without pausing to even consider it's validity. May you all rot in eternal HELL."

[wring]

Originally posted by mouthbreather
My favorite (or is that most hated?) are the

"Hi, my name is Linda from the Save the Children foundation. I'm here to tell you about little Suzy. She

change "suzy" to "Didino" :D

[mouthbreather]

wring, I don't get it.

[neutron star]

Come to think of it, has anyone ever received any forwarded email containing a story or news item, that was actually true? In the five years I've been online, I honestly don't think that's ever happened to me.

[dropzone]

Originally posted by neutron star
Come to think of it, has anyone ever received any forwarded email containing a story or news item, that was actually true

I don't trust forwarded memos, even.

[zwaldd]

everyone should send an email to everyone they know explaining that any email that requests you send it to everyone you know is bullshit and that they should forward the message to everyone they know. :D

[wring]

Originally posted by mouthbreather
wring, I don't get it.

you have to read it aloud:

Little Didino

Little Did I Know......

blame my DH, and his foster child, Little Didino.....

[Scupper]

I particularly hate the ones with "did you know?" lists attached to them.

"Did you know that the signers of the Declaration of Independence got screwed in the Revolutionary War? Here's fifty bogus examples proving you should be thankful (sniff) to be an American:"

"Did you know Abraham Lincoln was a real go-getter? He was a miserable failure at everything but he just kept going. (insert bogus examples list)"

"Did you know that every single member of Congress is a convicted felon? Here's a vague list without names, dates or proof, that should really open your eyes:"

"Did you know the origin of all these common household phrases? Golly, isn't it interesting how we can lie and be boring at the same time?"

Save me from this irritating bullshit.

[Fenris]

Originally posted by manhattan
Originally posted by neutron star



Often I reply with a snopes URL, but it never seems to do any good.

That's because you have to do it the way Mr. Cynical does. You have to "reply to all."

To all who use the "reply to all" method of dealing with urban legends:

Please consider not "replying to all". If you do, instead of having one piece of spam, now I have two. And, if it continues, another kill-filter to create

Fenris

[zwaldd]

here's a good urban legend debunking site. i've sent this guy some chain crap i received and he debunked it in his next column:

http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/columnists/galloway/index.html

[ubermensch]

Originally posted by iampunha
Then today I get some bullshit email about how "Touched by an Angel" is going to be taken off the air because the word "God" is said in every episode. WTF????? That's fucking illegal, friends, last I checked.

just to nitpick....but where did you check last time? CBS can do whatever the hell they want with their line up. not necessarily illegal, but just an unpopular move, it would be...

[Ludovic]

Lately, i've been getting them and they say something to the effect of "weird facts [unconfirmed]", or i read a great forwarded article on thinking outside the box and how bureaucratic standards become entrenched and the size of roman ruts determined the size of the space shuttle and I post an url correcting them and i recieve a reply to the effect of "oh, that was just as an EXAMPLE to show how bureaucracy can be entrenched." well, if it isnt freakin TRUE then its not a good example right? and if the weird facts are unconfirmed, how useful are they?

Lately I have been reading them sometimes and producing a ratio of ones which have specifically been denied in SD....its around 25% usually.

The last one I got, I was wondering where the fact about the female pig was. Oops, I simply skipped over it it was there after all. with the requisite "wow" attached.

[Montfort]

Originally posted by as_u_wish
(Oh and iampunha, thanks for picking me to be on your "team," I did notice, I'm just kinda quiet.)
Psst. That was me (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=33012&pagenumber=3).

(And, anyone who wants to flame me for hijacking a hijack can go to hell. This is the Pit, assface!)

(Ahh, that was fun.)

[Neenah]

I usually reply to this sort of thing with a link to the pertinent Snopes page, and put the sender on my list of People Too Stupid To Ever Talk To Again. This strategy worked well for me until last week, when I got the one about tampons containing asbestos and lots of other Bad Things. This came from a distant acquaintance named Linda, who sent it to (I counted) 82 other people. Apparently, the asbestos is supposed to cause excess bleeding, so you'll buy more tampons. The e-mail instructs me to buy only all-cotton tampons from some company I've never heard of, because otherwise I'll be dead in a year, or something like that. So I sent back a short note with the Snopes link and a short note, and felt better for having helped to stamp out ignorance. Until the next day, when Linda wrote back that she knew the crap about the asbestos wasn't actually true, she just thinks using all cotton and supporting small fledgling companies is a really good idea.

I just couldn't think of a single thing to say. I give up.

[AuntiePam]

I got one just today on a horror book e-group list.

This was the one about the baby stolen in Mexico, later found dead, its stomach full of smuggled drugs.

I sent the Snopes report back to the list, and I was very nice. The group is great, but having a few problems with idiots lately, and I didn't want to add to the acrimony.

This was the sender's reply:

IMHO.......... False or not........its still very evil and sad.....someone just sent it to me today........ I love Horror but the thought that this might actually have happened it [sic] pure evil

All you can do is shake your head.

[as_u_wish]

:::::risking public censure::::::

[second hijack]Oh Montfort, I'm so embarrassed! Is there any way, any way at all, I can make it up to you?[/hijack]

[lee]

The forwards I most hate are those warning us women about the dangers of walking to the car after dark or doing some everyday activity. It seems that some ppl won't be happy until women are all hermits afraid to leave the house.


Cutsie stuff is also quite nauseating. Chain letters get the sender a nice official warning about misuse of the email system.

I am the fact checker for my organization. If someone posts a UL to a corp mail lisy then they and their boss is told just how dumb that was. I review all virus an other warnings for veracity and promise to issue appropriate warnings. This policy started after someone alleged that one of our major customer's products were unsanitary and deadly.

[DavisMcDavis]

Originally posted by lee
The forwards I most hate are those warning us women about the dangers of walking to the car after dark or doing some everyday activity. It seems that some ppl won't be happy until women are all hermits afraid to leave the house.

It's enough to make me want to stop masturbating with live lobsters!

What kills me with the "forward this for a free gift certificate to Gap/Abercombie&Fitch/etc." is that they started coming with "Don't know if it's true but it can't hurt!" Then I explained that yes, it can hurt, because it irritates the shit out of me to realize that you're such a moron for forwarding this garbage I've already explained to you is not true.