Just So's We're Clear....

[inkleberry]

So, lemme get this straight....

I can call other posters who I don't know IRL shitstains (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357222). I can imply the perform acts of sexual congress with their mothers. I can heap upon them loads of verbal abuse and name calling, and that's cool.

It's just peachy to pit public figures (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356701) and celebrities. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357538)

I can berate those I work with (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356865) or attend school with (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356710).

And it's ok to pit relatives (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=356303) , whether they are by marriage (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=354416) or by blood (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326481).

But I cannot pit in a humorous manner a fellow poster whom I happen to know IRL? I could understand if I betrayed a deep confidence or bedroom inadequecy, which might be embarassing.

Sadly, I don't have either to share. All's I got is a moldy towel.

This is so profoundly assinine as to be hysterical. You owe me a new pair of underwear, as I laughed so hard I wet the first pair. Evidence upon request.

I'd ask you to explain, but I doubt you can. I just wanted to make sure we were clear. I can pit everyone EXCEPT fellow dopers who are in agreement with the said pitting and also happen to live with me and are given ample opportunity to respond as they see fit, on or off board. Uh, got it. Just drop me a line to arrange the underwear thing. Email's in profile.

[inkleberry]

Wait, follow up question....

Can I pit an ex, who is also an SDMB member? He lives about 30 miles away, but we have had sex in the past and I had a drawer full of clothes at their house when we dated.

Can I pit IRL friends, associates, and coworkers who are on board?

What about people I've met at Dope-related gatherings?

I just want to be sure I get this. It seems rather complicated and random.

[Go You Big Red Fire Engine]

IMHO;
Wait, follow up question....

Can I pit an ex, who is also an SDMB member?Not if it's about something that happened IRL.

Can I pit IRL friends, associates, and coworkers who are on board?

What about people I've met at Dope-related gatherings?As above.

I just want to be sure I get this. It seems rather complicated and random.It's not. You're just an idiot.

[treis]

I don't see whats so hard to comprehend about "Don't bring real life problems between Dopers onto the board." Did you get hit in the head recently or are you normally this daft?

[Boo Boo Foo]

Far out. You and your real life partner REALLY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, aren't you. Your similarities in both being incredibly daft and self absorbed and just too fucking stupid for words in being incapable of reading moderator warnings is just too scary for words.

[PetW]

Obligatory Link (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357646)
Why does everyone always want a blanket rule for every single situation? "Can I post this, can I post that?" Yeah, post whatever the fuck you want, and if a Mod wants to close it, they'll close it. I agree that it's a bad idea to pick a fight with your husband while he is out of town and can't defend himself on a public message board. It's not like you got an official warning or were scolded, the mod just closed the thread because they felt it was inappropriate.
There doesn't need to be a written rule set in stone for every single possible thread that might be closed.

[Giraffe]

But I cannot pit in a humorous manner a fellow poster whom I happen to know IRL? I could understand if I betrayed a deep confidence or bedroom inadequecy, which might be embarassing.You can Pit another poster you know in real life for something they did on the board that bothered you. You can not Pit a fellow poster for something they did off-board that bothered you.

I'm not sure how to make it any clearer than that.

[hajario]

The tragedy is that the two of you have reproduced.

[Salem]

You can pit whoever you want to pit. And when it becomes a personal conversation between two dopers who know each other in real life and they start bringing their private life onto the board and basically having a private exchange in a public format, however much jocularity ensues, it's quite likely to get closed.

It's not so much that you pit your husband. It's that it becomes this ridiculously cutesy little private exchange between the two of you that you seem to think is worth a lot of board space. You now have, between the two of you, four threads on the front page of the pit. Two locked, two not. Matching threads. How cute. Or not.

Believe it or not, not everyone is interested in seeing what crazy antics Lucy and Ricky have come up with this week. It's a discussion board, not your personal performance space.

[Rilchiam]

What others have said, plus:

---If you're not really mad at each other, then it belongs in MPSIMS, if it belongs on the board at all.

---It may be innocuous at first, but these things have a way of cutting deeper as they go along. Better to close the thread before that happens.

---And in fact, you were giving a bit TMI in the original thread.

[alaricthegoth]

do all moderated boards have such detailed "regulations"?

I infer that the elaborate kabuki rituals arose over time as a response to what I can only speculate were some thermonuclear cyber dustups--

I want to laugh but damn, everyone here takes this shit awful serious....

to paraphrase another poster's thread title," get over your bad selves..."

[Who_me?]

do all moderated boards have such detailed "regulations"?

I infer that the elaborate kabuki rituals arose over time as a response to what I can only speculate were some thermonuclear cyber dustups--

I want to laugh but damn, everyone here takes this shit awful serious....

to paraphrase another poster's thread title," get over your bad selves..."


The rules here have evolved over time. Other boards I am a member of have also evolved over time. The rules are similar, but not the same, it all depends on what problems have given the board headaches in the past.

[Creative_Munster]

Why do you two feel the need to have an audience for your personal crap? Do you really think that the unfortunate soul who happens to open up one of your threads thinks to themselves, "Oh, those zany kids. Isn't it cute how they have conversations and arguments on the message board so we can all enjoy them instead of just talking to one another on the phone or in person like a normal couple?" Well, I hope that the responses you have been getting dispel this notion for the both of you.

[BoBettie]

You know, I hope they ban you both. How fucking stupid must you be after what- going on 4 closed threads (assuming they'll close this one too) that you keep asking the same question? You're both dense as a lead brick.

Don't

Post

Your

Stupid

Marital

Spats

On

The

Boards

Is it really that difficult? Get a LJ if you need an audience for your personal life so bad. Christ!

[Ponder Stibbons]

Inky, here's how DrLoveGun's last two threads were closed:
If you have a problem with someone in another area, such as chat, other message boards, or real life, solve it in that area, not the SDMB. We especially don't want marital/relationship spats on the message board. We've banned people over this. See a marriage counserlor, get a divorce, whatever, just don't drag the rest of us into it.

Lynn
For the Straight Dope
Reply With Quote
Do you guys not have each others' phone numbers?

Seriously, a real-life fight between two posters needs to be handled off-board. It's just better.
You misunderstand. It's not that we're worried about your feelings. Personally, I could give a crap about your feelings. That's why I'm a Pit moderator. It's that we don't want to watch posters harp on each other for things that happened off-board, whether it's on another message board or in their living room. That's not what the Pit is for.

This thread is closed. Don't start another one on this subject.
Surely you've read your SO's threads. And you still don't get it?

Then I have some advice: Both of you should voluntarily stop posting for, say, a month. If you can't understand the simple explanations they've given you for not bringing your personal shit onto the boards, then just stay away. OK?

[Salem]

do all moderated boards have such detailed "regulations"?...



No, we don't. That's the OP asking for such detailed regulations. We're talking about some basic social interction norms here. If you and your partner of whatever variety go to a social gathering, you might tell a story on each other in good fun as part of a relevant conversation. You might even start a conversation about some domestic annoyance in which everyone shares their domestic annoyance stories. But generally speaking, it would not be acceptable to overtake the entire conversation with your personal grievances or your intimate little pet names for each other or any other private interaction. It becomes an exclusive conversation (and often uncomfortable to witness) that takes center stage and pushes out any hope of general discussion or interaction. It might be amusing once or twice. But over and over again at every party, it's wearing. The level of "noise" starts to drown out the rest of the conversation.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

to paraphrase another poster's thread title," get over your bad selves..."
Does it make you feel better about yourself to spend so much time hanging out with folks you feel contempt for? When I think a place is stupid, I LEAVE.

Daniel

[treis]

The tragedy is that the two of you have reproduced.

Yeeeeeeoch, thats vicious.

[newcrasher]

Yeeeeeeoch, thats vicious.


Pulls up a chair.

Pops popcorn....

[Casey1505]

I hope to god you don't spill that popcorn.

[Creative_Munster]

Also, the original thread went way beyond some towel when inkleberry posted this remark:

Originally Posted by treis
Its a fucking towel for crying out loud. Relax.


Originally Posted by inkleberry
And a shirt.
And our savings (twice).
And car payments.
And a chair.
And multiple college tuitions.
And 5 or 6 jobs.

There's bipolar, and then there's just jackass.

Which I take to mean that DrLoveGun blew through their savings twice, has skipped making car payments, broke a chair, is unable to complete a college course succesfully, and is unable to hold down a job.

Jesus Christ, what a wonderful supporting spouse she is to air all of this in public. The humiliation will surely motivate him to change his ways. Although DrLoveGun might be clueless enough to not realize that his wife is portraying him as a fool.

[Scumpup]

Does it make you feel better about yourself to spend so much time hanging out with folks you feel contempt for? When I think a place is stupid, I LEAVE.

Daniel

Could you stop therapizing for just one beshitted second? Christ, why don't you just open an office if you think it is your calling to help the fucktards of the world achieve self-actualization?

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Could you stop therapizing for just one beshitted second? Christ, why don't you just open an office if you think it is your calling to help the fucktards of the world achieve self-actualization?
Since when is trying to get an asshole to go away therapizing? If you don't like it, why don't you buzz off, creep?

Daniel

[fluiddruid]

Pulls up a chair.

Pops popcorn....newcrasher, you've been here long enough to know the Pit rules:
1. I don't want anyone posting that they're simply in the thread to watch the fireworks. This means no posts like ":: pulls up a lawn chair::"Don't do this.

[Stonebow]

Jesus Christ, what a wonderful supporting spouse she is to air all of this in public. The humiliation will surely motivate him to change his ways. Although DrLoveGun might be clueless enough to not realize that his wife is portraying him as a fool.


Hey, you forgot the part where she also felt it necessary to tell us about a past sexual relationship with another Doper. A real gem, this broad is, I tell ya.

I'm seeing the possible future pittings right now:

DrLoveGun: My wife can't keep her yap shut about other Dopers she's fucked

DrLoveGun and Inkleberry tag-team pitting: alaricthegoth, please don't take our side in an argument, you tardilicious jackenape, okay?

ah, the possibilities...

[Scumpup]

Since when is trying to get an asshole to go away therapizing? If you don't like it, why don't you buzz off, creep?

Daniel

Because you spread your Oprah-esque slime through far too many threads, including here here in the pit. You apparently do know how to say "Go away, asshole" but that need for theraspeak trumps it. Open that office, bucky, if you need to play at being a therapist.

[newcrasher]

newcrasher, you've been here long enough to know the Pit rules:
Don't do this.

My bad. I really didn'y know.

[eleanorigby]

Gah-"therapizing" is not a word. It's not English. Stop this right now.


And somehow I missed all 4 threads--it sounds a right mess.

No-one asked, but I have some time, so--I think the mods are absolutely correct in this one. Who would want a marital spat to be so public? And just think--someone will pull up those old threads over time again and again....It'll be like Groundhog Day From Hell.

I enjoy both posters contributions, but I don't need this kind of voyeurism. I have enough mind numbing, soul destroying marital "spats" of my own. <shudder>

[eleanorigby]

DrLoveGun and Inkleberry tag-team pitting: alaricthegoth, please don't take our side in an argument, you tardilicious jackenape, okay?

ah, the possibilities...

Sorry, but I just saw this. It reminds me of that Dick Van Dyke show where Laura is at Rob's office and they get into an argument. Buddy is there. They both separately appeal to him for support. When he tries to weigh in, they both tell him to stay out of it, only to turn around and solicit him once again.

He finally grabs his hat and tells them, "I'm going out for a beer. I hate crowds and the four of you are driving me nuts!"



:)

[Crab Rangoon]

Because you spread your Oprah-esque slime through far too many threads, including here here in the pit. You apparently do know how to say "Go away, asshole" but that need for theraspeak trumps it. Open that office, bucky, if you need to play at being a therapist.
Hmmm. I'm feeling some misdirected anger vibes here....

Perhaps you should sit down and share your inner feelings and we can try to resolve your inner self hatred.

It's OK, you're not a bad person, you're a good person who does bad things.

That'll be $350.

[Ethilrist]

do all moderated boards have such detailed "regulations"?

I infer that the elaborate kabuki rituals arose over time as a response to what I can only speculate were some thermonuclear cyber dustups--
You are correct, sir. There's a smoking crater in the background of most of the odd rules we have around here.

[Caricci]

Inkleberry's laundry list of Dr.LoveGun's serious offenses was pretty much the nastiest thing I've seen on these boards. Sure, we all see worse language and far more hideous insults in the Pit all the time, but not from one spouse to another. It wasn't humorous in the least. And it was just so personal . I felt kind of nauseous on Dr. LoveGun's behalf when I read that.

[Maus Magill]

What is so difficult about not bringing your real-life shit into the Pit?

Do you see Aries28 pitting Sauron for spreading his darkness throughout Middle-earth and allowing Gollum to track dirt onto the carpet?

No!

Do you see Dangerosa pitting Brainiac4 for shrinking cities and leaving them all over the family room?

No!

Why? Because they know that they're not supposed to bring their real life shit into the Pit!

[zuma]

Not fair. They have one and I think another on the way. THat's enough to raise an eyebrow, but it takes three to make it selfish idiot pit material. They are in their early to mid 20s which makes thi whole baby dropping thing worrisome, but they haven't done anything yet to warrent attacks. They are very worrisome tho.

[PetW]

The tragedy is that the two of you have reproduced.


I enjoy both posters contributions, but I don't need this kind of voyeurism.

Deja Vu (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357581)

[jlzania]

You know, I find it very uncomfortable to be around couples that are fighting IRL.
It's just down right tacky.
I guess I was indoctrinated to believe that you never air your dirty laundry in public.

[DrLoveGun]

Why do you two feel the need to have an audience for your personal crap? Do you really think that the unfortunate soul who happens to open up one of your threads thinks to themselves, "Oh, those zany kids. Isn't it cute how they have conversations and arguments on the message board so we can all enjoy them instead of just talking to one another on the phone or in person like a normal couple?" Well, I hope that the responses you have been getting dispel this notion for the both of you.

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.

Amazing isn't it.

[UncleBeer]

Since when is trying to get an asshole to go away therapizing? If you don't like it, why don't you buzz off, creep?

Daniel
What I wanna know is when did "therapizing" become a word? Is that like what happened in the Permian and Triassic periods when the reptiles of the order Therapsida began evolving mammalian characteristics?

[hajario]

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.



And once again you completely miss the point. I have a feeling that the two of you just not getting it is going to be a source of amusement for me all day long.

[UncleBeer]

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.

Amazing isn't it.
Fortunately, we won't be able to. Because you idiots aren't gonna post any more of those fucking things. Right?

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

What I wanna know is when did "therapizing" become a word?
That's glory for you. I shoulda used quotes around it when I repeated it, but you wouldn't believe what they're charging for them these days.

Scumpup seems to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck about his spastic colon. I know I never did anything to give him that impression, but he's sure to spaz on me some more.

Shrug.
Daniel

[Maeglin]

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.

Amazing isn't it.

You can still smell a turd on the sidewalk even if you don't step in it.

[Dangerosa]

What is so difficult about not bringing your real-life shit into the Pit?

Do you see Aries28 pitting Sauron for spreading his darkness throughout Middle-earth and allowing Gollum to track dirt onto the carpet?

No!

Do you see Dangerosa pitting Brainiac4 for shrinking cities and leaving them all over the family room?

No!

Why? Because they know that they're not supposed to bring their real life shit into the Pit!


My dope life has changed since Brainiac4 became an active poster. I don't say too much in TMI threads, I don't pit his relations to vent. Its kind of a shame actually, because my real life friends know his relations, so I can't vent there either, and my family takes it wrong. There are things we both could say about is thankfully-ex-sister in law.....

[Ferret Herder]

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.
Dude, off-board complaints/gripes/etc. between two board members aren't allowed to be dragged onto this board, whether they're married or strangers or whatever. It just adds an extra level of ick when it's a married couple.

Hey, you forgot the part where she also felt it necessary to tell us about a past sexual relationship with another Doper. A real gem, this broad is, I tell ya.
I can't find that particular trainwreck anywhere, mind posting a link? Her husband apparently thinks that being called out also for depleting their savings account twice, losing multiple jobs, etc. is "somewhat humorous" (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=357801), after all, so another link can't hurt.

[TVeblen]

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.


Wrong. The onus doesn't rest on other posters to avoid your marital spats. Responsibility lies with you two to hash out your problems between yourselves. Get LJs and communicate that way if you want. E-mail each other. Pass notes across the room. Just don't use the SDMB to settle your spats.

Don't. Post. Them.

This isn't negotiable, DLG and Inkleberry. If you can't or won't comply, we'll have no choice but to examine your posting privileges.

[Greathouse]

I will say this slowly for you

Then. Don't. Open. Them.

Amazing isn't it.


So it doesn't bother you that your wife paints you as some sort of useless puddle of cock snot in a public forum? Sounds healthy to me.

[Guinastasia]

Guys, I like both of you, but this just makes the rest of us feel awkward. It's one thing to post a humorous little "Oh, that spouse of mine!" type posts in MPSIMS.

But here in the Pit, it's almost like we're witnessing a marital spat between the two of you at a party, and even if we don't open it, it's very embarassing.

[Caricci]

So it doesn't bother you that your wife paints you as some sort of useless puddle of cock snot in a public forum? Sounds healthy to me.

Seriously, man! Shit like inkleberry posted yesterday, I would be ashamed to say to my best friend, much less a bunch of strangers. And if I did and my husband found out, I wouldn't be shocked if he had a very hard time forgiving me.

[UncleBeer]

May I make a suggestion for the two of you? Divorce (http://www.johnydmorningcrew.com/). Mebbe you wanna try this lovely Valentine's Day contest being sponsored by Toledo, OH radio station:
Valentine's Day Divorce
Need a divorce and can't afford one? Want the Crew to foot the bill? E-Mail Jeremy and tell us your story and we might divorce you on Valetine's Day.

[DrLoveGun]

You can still smell a turd on the sidewalk even if you don't step in it.

Dr. Phil? Is it you? He too is a useless mammal.

And this isn't a marital spat. Its a moldy towel that she got pissed about. We wouldn't invite you over for a marital spat, don't flatter yourselves.

To respond to all of the above. Have a changed jobs 3 times in the past 1.5 years? Yeppers. And now I am a stay at home dad. Always changed for the better.

Did I spend more money than I made? Yep...no denying that one. Life is expensive, so I/we dipped into our savings. Been there done that.

Did I screw up in other ways? Of course, but I learn from them. See I'm human, I make mistakes, but I learns.

My self esteem, for those of you who pointed that out, is actually pretty good. I'm comfortable enough with myself to poke fun at my own short comings. Most of my stage act, when I was writing it, was self depricating. A very healthy sign. If you can't laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at the rest of life.

So laugh people, laugh. And thanks for bringing Inkleberry and I closer together. You're too funny. A thousand page views, makes us smile.

[Shakes]

Well, All I know is if [b]inkleberry[/i] wants to involve me in her agruements with her husband; I think it's only fair that I be included in the "Make up" sex as well.

[treis]

So laugh people, laugh. And thanks for bringing Inkleberry and I closer together. You're too funny. A thousand page views, makes us smile.

So you do thrive on this kind of attention. That is pretty pathetic.

[Caricci]

A thousand page views, makes us smile.


Ew.

[Greathouse]

Dr. Phil? Is it you? He too is a useless mammal.

And this isn't a marital spat. Its a moldy towel that she got pissed about. We wouldn't invite you over for a marital spat, don't flatter yourselves.

To respond to all of the above. Have a changed jobs 3 times in the past 1.5 years? Yeppers. And now I am a stay at home dad. Always changed for the better.

Did I spend more money than I made? Yep...no denying that one. Life is expensive, so I/we dipped into our savings. Been there done that.

Did I screw up in other ways? Of course, but I learn from them. See I'm human, I make mistakes, but I learns.

My self esteem, for those of you who pointed that out, is actually pretty good. I'm comfortable enough with myself to poke fun at my own short comings. Most of my stage act, when I was writing it, was self depricating. A very healthy sign. If you can't laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at the rest of life.

So laugh people, laugh. And thanks for bringing Inkleberry and I closer together. You're too funny. A thousand page views, makes us smile.


Whatever helps you get to sleep at night.

If nothing else you could smile because the mods squashed her ability to tell us all what a fuck up are ever again. I can't recall though...did they say she couldn't talk about other dopers that have been insider of her before you? I could see that causing problems, but most likely not...since you are a fuck up, afterall.

[jlzania]

And this isn't a marital spat. Its a moldy towel that she got pissed about. We wouldn't invite you over for a marital spat, don't flatter yourselves...
So laugh people, laugh. And thanks for bringing Inkleberry and I closer together. You're too funny. A thousand page views, makes us smile.

If she'd had just being complaining about a towel-it might have been mildly humorous but she used it as an excuse to catalogue a laundry list of your failures.
I get annoyed by my SO leaving his socks in the living room but I don't use that as an excuse to bring up everything I think he's done wrong for the past five years.
It's fairly obvious, I think, that you and Inkleberry have a very different concept of what should remain private in a relationship than many of the other posters here.
I respect my husband and his flaws and foibles are not for public consumption or entertainment for a group of people I don't really know.
I think that's what bothers me about your posts-I sense a real lack of mutual respect but, of course, that's just speculation on my part.

[DrLoveGun]

Whatever helps you get to sleep at night.

If nothing else you could smile because the mods squashed her ability to tell us all what a fuck up are ever again. I can't recall though...did they say she couldn't talk about other dopers that have been insider of her before you? I could see that causing problems, but most likely not...since you are a fuck up, afterall.

Are you seriously suggesting I, or anyone for that matter, would be so insecure as to get upset about my wife referring to an ex-boyfriend? Yeah, she dated him for quite a while. They broke up 4 or 5 years ago.

Should I lock her up and refuse to let her speak to her exes, or of them for that matter?

I guess that means we probably shouldn't be hanging out with him either.

What kind of insecure fucktard gets upset at the mere mention of an exboyfriend? If that's the sort of thing that causes problems in your relationships, I would strongly urge you to grow the fuck up.

[eleanorigby]

With that last post of Dr Love Gun's , I think we have dropped down into the social chasm that is attention whoredom.

Then again, there is nothing like a common enemy to unite fractious er, factions.

So glad to be a marital aide. Do we get to counsel the children as well?

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

With that last post of Dr Love Gun's , I think we have dropped down into the social chasm that is attention whoredom.
yep--I think it's time we throw in the towel.

Daniel

[Mtgman]

Here's how I've always understood the rule of board usage for grievances between posters who know each other IRL.

"If it started here, it can stay here. If it didn't, get your own damn bandwidth."

Any mods still reading think this is a fair rendition?

Enjoy,
Steven

[jlzania]

I've finally managed to put my finger in what really bothers me about both yours, and Inkleberry's posts about your arguments.
It's the feeling that your forcing us to be voyeurs.
It's almost as if you need an audience to get your marital rocks off.
Which is all good and well if said audience is a voluntary participant but we're not.

[Greathouse]

Are you seriously suggesting I, or anyone for that matter, would be so insecure as to get upset about my wife referring to an ex-boyfriend? Yeah, she dated him for quite a while. They broke up 4 or 5 years ago.

Should I lock her up and refuse to let her speak to her exes, or of them for that matter?

You should do something to shut that twat up. But I see the mods have taken care of that for you.


I guess that means we probably shouldn't be hanging out with him either.

That's up to you, but hopefully we won't have to hear about that either.


What kind of insecure fucktard gets upset at the mere mention of an exboyfriend?

Obviously not you. I'd imagine you get pissed about her telling everyone under the sun how you lack responsibility when dealing with money, can't keep a job, are a fuck up at school, and can't seem to make a car payment before you got pissed at anything else.

If that's the sort of thing that causes problems in your relationships, I would strongly urge you to grow the fuck up.

I am grown up. I don't squander my family's savings. I don't miss my car payments. I keep my jobs just fine. I graduated from school. I also keep my private matters private.

See, that's what grown ups do.

[rayh]

Well, All I know is if [b]inkleberry[/i] wants to involve me in her agruements with her husband; I think it's only fair that I be included in the "Make up" sex as well.

We back on the buttfucking thread? You get to bite the towel.

[D_Odds]

until this one.

I can understand why the first post was closed. It is hard for a mod to read tone and intent in inkleberry's post, and off-board matters between board members should remain off-board. Dr.LoveGun and inkleberry didn't help their own cause, but the sheer assholenitude shown by posters, some of whom I expect much better of, is staggering. The holier than thou attitude shown in this thread is reminiscent of a Jerry Springer audience.

[Greathouse]

until this one.

I can understand why the first post was closed. It is hard for a mod to read tone and intent in inkleberry's post, and off-board matters between board members should remain off-board. Dr.LoveGun and inkleberry didn't help their own cause, but the sheer assholenitude shown by posters, some of whom I expect much better of, is staggering. The holier than thou attitude shown in this thread is reminiscent of a Jerry Springer audience.


no u

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

The holier than thou attitude shown in this thread is reminiscent of a Jerry Springer audience.
FWIW, I think they're getting a bum rap; I just couldn't resist the bad pun. To be fair, inkleberry needs to learn not to cry over spilt milk.

Daniel

[D_Odds]

FWIW, I think they're getting a bum rap; I just couldn't resist the bad pun. To be fair, inkleberry needs to learn not to cry over spilt milk.

DanielAnd upon re-reading your post and this one ... :smack:

Give me a moment to determine if it is your head or my own that I'm smacking.

[if6was9]

The holier than thou attitude shown in this thread is reminiscent of a Jerry Springer audience.
That audience is a direct reaction to the featured guests of the show. Cause and effect. ;)

[Boo Boo Foo]

Time to walk away folks.

These guys are both viewing themselves as perpetual victims. They both derive self empowerment by having strangers buy into their life problems - never conceding that their problems are actually of their own making. If they WERE to concede that their problems are one's which they could fix themselves, by extension, they would also wash away the self empowerment they derive by having strangers giving them so much airtime. It's unhealthy, fucking unhealthy and all you can do is walk away because you can't change people.

It's like walking past a black hole and getting sucked into the vortex.

[Cat Whisperer]

Are you therapizing, Boo Boo? :D

Oh, yeah, the OP.I have no problems with either of the parties involved, but when the mods say repeatedly don't do it, that's pretty much the end of the discussion.

[Lute Skywatcher]

And thanks for bringing Inkleberry and I closer together. You're too funny. A thousand page views, makes us smile.Oh, dear Lord! It's Chevy & Patti all over again!

[Boo Boo Foo]

Are you therapizing, Boo Boo? :DHeh Heh Heh.

It's just so easy! :D

Look, we're all adults here presumably, and I assume most of us have been on messageboards a fair while and I assume most of us have all seen the syndrome of "attention whoring" before in some permutation or another. All you can do is state your position and if it doesn't get heeded, then walk away.

I did like the bit of humour shown by SHAKES earlier however. That was quite inventive I reckon.

[Ethilrist]

I've finally managed to put my finger in what really bothers me about both yours, and Inkleberry's posts about your arguments.
It's the feeling that your forcing us to be voyeurs.
It's almost as if you need an audience to get your marital rocks off.
Which is all good and well if said audience is a voluntary participant but we're not.
Yeah, it sucks that we're required to read these threads.

:dubious:

[Rilchiam]

Nobody's required to read them as they happen, but what Inklegun don't seem to take into account is that fact that once something's been posted, it's on the boards forever (barring a content-deleting crash). By posting what she did about her husband, she made him vulnerable in future debates to someone who might dig up her thread and say, "Well, who are you to talk; you blew though the family's savings TWICE!" or whatever is relevant.

[Rubystreak]

If I'm friends with both members of a couple, and they get into a fight, it's always a bad idea to get involved. Why? Because if you join in and badmouth one party and they reconcile (as they usually do, despite the caustic invective they freely toss around), then what will they remember? The fact that you talked shit about their precious SO, who they love. The SO will not be pissed off at his partner, who talked smack about him in public to strangers, but at the people who took his side and told her to STFU. This is why cops hate being called in for domestic violence calls-- it's OK for them to abuse each other, but if you get involved, you become the common enemy.

This is why your marriage should stay private. There's no way to involve other people in your spats and have it be OK. And yes, that IS what Inkleberry was trying to do-- when I opened the original Pit thread, I had no idea who her husband was, and when I got to the bottom and saw why the thread was closed, I was horrified and embarrassed for both of them, but mostly DrLoveGun. It recontextualized the entire thread and the motivations for posting it in a really disgusting way to find out that DrLoveGun was a poster on the SDMB. But then to have him DEFEND her right to do so... wow. I don't need to see that kind of shit. That's fucked up.

And that's the bottom line. Pit other posters about shit they did to you on the boards. Pit other non-posting people at will. But don't Pit your family members who are ALSO people on the boards for shit that happened in your personal lives. It's none of our business and it's creepy as hell. I'm annoyed that I know this shit about these people's marriage. I wish they would get some THERAPY for the sake of their kids and leave us all out of it.

[davenportavenger]

So laugh people, laugh. And thanks for bringing Inkleberry and I closer together. You're too funny. A thousand page views, makes us smile.www.livejournal.com

And I really like the non-word "therapizing." Am going to have to use it in further conversations.

[Scumpup]

"Therapizing" is a term coined by one of my co-workers during one of my stints working residential treatment. He used it as verbal shorthand for pointless bullshit that looked and sounded like therapy, but was mainly a way for one or more of the participants to waste time or stroke their own ego. The key difference between therapy and therapizing is that therapy can actually do some good once in a while. Lots of therapizing gets done at this board.

[eleanorigby]

Does one use therapizing to get to the truthiness of things?


Just asking.




:)

[Boo Boo Foo]

"Therapizing" is a term coined by one of my co-workers during one of my stints working residential treatment. He used it as verbal shorthand for pointless bullshit that looked and sounded like therapy, but was mainly a way for one or more of the participants to waste time or stroke their own ego. The key difference between therapy and therapizing is that therapy can actually do some good once in a while. Lots of therapizing gets done at this board.So what you're saying is that YOU have an issue with how a lot of people go about offering advice on this messageboard, and that YOU should be allowed to project your issues onto the rest us and we should all change so that YOU don't have to deal with your own issues?

That's how you're coming across Scumpup. When you first posted in this thread, you offered nothing to the OP. You merely attacked a poster for the "style" in how they offered advice and you got called on it.

So slam me. Go nuts. I won't give a shit because that's how projection works you see. People have issues about something, and they project those issues onto other people and then try to convince those people that those issues are actually the recipient's issues. I know lots of folks on this board who offer stellar psychological advice. Until this thread, I've never come across someone who has as much of an issue with that as you do.

[if6was9]

Does one use therapizing to get to the truthiness of things?


Just asking.




:)
4 out of 5 scienticians think so.

[Scumpup]

So what you're saying is that YOU have an issue with how a lot of people go about offering advice on this messageboard, and that YOU should be allowed to project your issues onto the rest us and we should all change so that YOU don't have to deal with your own issues?

That's how you're coming across Scumpup. When you first posted in this thread, you offered nothing to the OP. You merely attacked a poster for the "style" in how they offered advice and you got called on it.

So slam me. Go nuts. I won't give a shit because that's how projection works you see. People have issues about something, and they project those issues onto other people and then try to convince those people that those issues are actually the recipient's issues. I know lots of folks on this board who offer stellar psychological advice. Until this thread, I've never come across someone who has as much of an issue with that as you do.

Eat me.

[rayh]

Eat me.

Are you two married?

[Ferret Herder]

Are you two married?
You'd think so, the way they flirt shamelessly... :D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

4 out of 5 scienticians think so. But are they nucular scienticians? :dubious:

[eleanorigby]

4 out of 5 scienticians think so.

Hee. Finally, this thread makes me laugh--thanks, I needed that!

[Wolfian]

So slam me. Go nuts. I won't give a shit because that's how projection works you see. People have issues about something, and they project those issues onto other people and then try to convince those people that those issues are actually the recipient's issues. I know lots of folks on this board who offer stellar psychological advice. Until this thread, I've never come across someone who has as much of an issue with that as you do.
No, you're the homo!


What?




Scumpup is talking about the armchair Dr. Phils (read: full of shit) out there, not the people who really have a clue. I'm more interested in your (over)reaction to him. Now who's projecting, Princess Projecta?

[Cat Whisperer]

I'm kinda thinking that if you're getting your psychological advice from a message board, you're getting what you paid for. Anyone here is free to give any advice they want to, and the recipients are free to do what they want with it (which, often, is completely ignore it and/or get mad at the givers.)

[kambuckta]

What is interesting (and ultimately sad) about this entire schemozzle is that the mods have closed all the threads that precipitated this one, but have allowed (perhaps encouraged??) a mass pile-on to continue here unabated. If they were truly sincere about not wanting such shit to infect the board, shouldn't this one have been closed too?

Or are they vicariously glorying in the roasting that Inkleberry and DrLoveGun are getting here?

This thread smells really bad, and it's not because of rotting towels.

[Harborwolf]

What is interesting (and ultimately sad) about this entire schemozzle is that the mods have closed all the threads that precipitated this one, but have allowed (perhaps encouraged??) a mass pile-on to continue here unabated. If they were truly sincere about not wanting such shit to infect the board, shouldn't this one have been closed too? I am not a mod, but this thread was at least started as a discussion of the rules. That's legal pit material.

[Hamadryad]

What is interesting (and ultimately sad) about this entire schemozzle is that the mods have closed all the threads that precipitated this one, but have allowed (perhaps encouraged??) a mass pile-on to continue here unabated. If they were truly sincere about not wanting such shit to infect the board, shouldn't this one have been closed too?

Or are they vicariously glorying in the roasting that Inkleberry and DrLoveGun are getting here?

This thread smells really bad, and it's not because of rotting towels.Time was, "You made your bed; you lay in it" was not at all uncommonly applied to threads like this. As these lovely folks obviously crave the attention, I don't know why you're trying to keep them from it in the only thread they have left from which to reap it.

[kidchameleon]

But are they nucular scienticians? :dubious:

I work for some of those...


Is anybody else wondering if a thread called Pick Up Milk on the way Home is going to pop up in MPSIMS?

[Cheesesteak]

Or are they vicariously glorying in the roasting that Inkleberry and DrLoveGun are getting here?

This thread smells really bad, and it's not because of rotting towels.Considering that the subjects seem to be enjoying the attention (see Post 49 by the good Dr.) I don't see why the mods would consider closing it.

Even so, it's the pitting of off-board issues with members that is verboten, not the pitting of mod decisions, which are definitely legitimate pit fodder.

[Cat Whisperer]

<snip>
Is anybody else wondering if a thread called Pick Up Milk on the way Home is going to pop up in MPSIMS?
Or "Go to bed, you loser - you have to get up in the morning."

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Or: I blasted through my savings -- again!

[Giraffe]

I am not a mod, but this thread was at least started as a discussion of the rules. That's legal pit material.Bingo. I thought it would be unfair to close this thread without allowing inkleberry and/or any other interested posters the opportunity for follow-up discussion.

I can't say I'm too concerned about the trauma of a pile-on, though. It's a public message board. If you act like a moron, don't be surprised if a lot of people hold a similar, negative opinion of your behavior.

[Bryan Ekers]

Does one use therapizing to get to the truthiness of things?


Just asking.




:)

It would be a perfectly cromulent approach.

[Creative_Munster]

DrInkGuns is an interesting couple. I find it hilarious that she is a mental health professional. It must've been extraordinarily easy to get your degree at whatever college she ended up at. Can't she tell that she is inflating her ego and covering up her own inadequacies by berating and belittling her husband? And doesn't she realize that DrLoveGun tolerates it because he suffers from extremely low self esteem and believes he deserves the constant emotional abuse? The relationship is so perfectly dysfunctional. It really should be made into a mental illness case study.

[Cat Whisperer]

DrInkGuns is an interesting couple. I find it hilarious that she is a mental health professional. It must've been extraordinarily easy to get your degree at whatever college she ended up at. Can't she tell that she is inflating her ego and covering up her own inadequacies by berating and belittling her husband? And doesn't she realize that DrLoveGun tolerates it because he suffers from extremely low self esteem and believes he deserves the constant emotional abuse? The relationship is so perfectly dysfunctional. It really should be made into a mental illness case study.
Now THAT's some therapizing.

[lorene]

4 out of 5 scienticians think so.

At least, that's what it says on all the signage.

[Scumpup]

Now THAT's some therapizing.

Seconded.

[wring]

Seconded.thriced.

[Feydeau]

thriced.
Forced? :D

[alaricthegoth]

truly sincere

I haven't studied the rules closely, but isn't "offering speculation on a modertor's motivation" grounds for a two week suspension?

oh no, wait, that was wishing death on a moderator's cat, carry on..

[Contrapuntal]

Forced? :DIs that a fifth? I'll have it, and another round of peanuts for the gallery.

[rayh]

Is that a fifth? I'll have it, and another round of peanuts for the gallery.

Sickthd.