Things I have learned about strip clubs from the movies and TV

[Evil Captor]

If it weren't for cops and serial killers, they'd have no customers

[Scumpup]

The dancers are always fantastically good looking, dance only to finance their college education and/or support their child, and always have nice personalities.

[Otto]

All male strippers are gay. (Mr Mom)
Except the ones who aren't. (A Night in Heaven)
Male strippers are sought-after patrons of New York's finest clubs and restaurants. (For Ladies Only)
The wait staff of male strip clubs are happy to stuff their cocks into hot dog buns and serve them to patrons for a laugh. (Bachelor Party)
The only good male stripper is a dead male stripper. (Ladykillers)

[RealityChuck]

Strippers wear bikinis while dancing (all TV shows).

[Annie-Xmas]

They can contort themselves into unimaginable positions, and usually have sleezy boy/girlfriends.

[Evil Captor]

Strippers wear bikinis while dancing (all TV shows).

Good point, but the surprising thing is the number scenes in R-rated movies where most of the strippers never get down beyond a thong bikini ensemble. Maybe one stripper in a floor show will flash her breasts. NO stripper will ever reveal what lies beneath her bikini bottom. Kinda makes you wonder what the point of strip clubs is. :dubious:

[Mouse_Maven]

A little highjack:

I once lived by a strip club. On the front door they had a little sign that said
"No shirt, No Shoes, No Service." It always made me :D

[Zeldar]

A little highjack:

I once lived by a strip club. On the front door they had a little sign that said
"No shirt, No Shoes, No Service." It always made me :D

Seriously, in the local news not long ago some dude got arrested for going into a joint with nothing on but shoes and a shirt.

[tdn]

The dancers are always fantastically good looking, dance only to finance their college education and/or support their child, and always have nice personalities.
Having once spent a lot of time at a strip club, I can attest to most of this. Most were fantastically good looking, though a bunch were plain at best, and one or two were utt-bugly. A great majority of them were quite intelligent.

What pictures tend to get wrong is the patronage. They portay the men as having important conversations, when in reality most men just stare and drool.

[corkboard]

What pictures tend to get wrong is the patronage. They portay the men as having important conversations, when in reality most men just stare and drool.
Or they go the other way and show all of the male patrons cheering, hootin' & hollerin', barely able to contain themselves from jumping up on the stage, and would but for the railing around the edge of the stage and their buddies holding them back. I've never seen any guy act that way; usually we just kind of sit back, drink our $8.50 bottle of Bud and quietly enjoy the scenery.

Now the female patrons, they usually get more expressive than the guys, in my experience.

[tdn]

barely able to contain themselves from jumping up on the stage, and would but for the railing around the edge of the stage
An act that would, in my estimation, get one clubbed with a baseball bat.

[Scumpup]

Having once spent a lot of time at a strip club, I can attest to most of this. Most were fantastically good looking, though a bunch were plain at best, and one or two were utt-bugly. A great majority of them were quite intelligent.

What pictures tend to get wrong is the patronage. They portay the men as having important conversations, when in reality most men just stare and drool.

IME it is highly dependant on the strip club. At the Rhodendron, in rural Sykesville PA, the girls tend to be rather...cornfed. They also have a one-armed stripper. Basically none of the girls look like movie strippers.
At Silky's in McKee's Rocks, OTOH, the girls do, on the whole, tend to look more like the ones you see in the movies.
As far as personality goes, the girls at the rural place tend to be nicer...or much less transparently mercenary, at least.

[Anaamika]

Strippers wear bikinis while dancing (all TV shows).
You mean they don't? :eek:

Good God, I just realized that I'd fallen into believing that myth, having never actually been to one. So they really dance nekkid, do they?

I feel unbelivably naive, and I know I'm not.

[Thalion]

You mean they don't? :eek:

Good God, I just realized that I'd fallen into believing that myth, having never actually been to one. So they really dance nekkid, do they?

I feel unbelivably naive, and I know I'm not.

OK, the next time we have a Dopefest with Anaamika attending, you KNOW where we have to go!

[tdn]

So they really dance nekkid, do they?
At one place, give a girl a buck, and she'll show you her castor canadensis. In all it's dam-building glory.

[Anaamika]

Wet beaver, anyone?

[tdn]

This one time, at band camp?

I was talking to one of the stippers, and not paying much attention to the one on stage. The girl I was talking to looked at the stage for a moment, then almost shouted "Oh my god, she has hemorrhoids!" The girl onstage, nekkid as a jaybird and spread as a bald-eagle did, indeed, have an enormous dingleberry.

[Anaamika]

This one time, at band camp?

I was talking to one of the stippers, and not paying much attention to the one on stage. The girl I was talking to looked at the stage for a moment, then almost shouted "Oh my god, she has hemorrhoids!" The girl onstage, nekkid as a jaybird and spread as a bald-eagle did, indeed, have an enormous dingleberry.

T.M.I. T.M.fuckin' I.

*throws up*

And to make it even better I'm eating keema-aloo (ground beef & potatoes).

*eyes it suspiciously*

[Hal Briston]

Good God, I just realized that I'd fallen into believing that myth, having never actually been to one. So they really dance nekkid, do they?I can only attest to the ones in Jersey, but if it's a strip bar, then no, they don't. State law says that if alcohol is served, then no nudity is allowed.

We once went to a juice bar outside of Atlantic City that had full nudity. However, the girls there were...how to say this nicely...a bit worn. <shudder>

Of course, laws may have changed in the 10 years since I've been to one.

[tdn]

T.M.I. T.M.fuckin' I.

*throws up*
Hey, at least you're just reading about it. I was there, man. I was there.

[Gorgon Heap]

At the nicest local joint we go to, the girls are all average to exceptional in appearance and mannerisms. They wear skimpy bottoms and often no tops, along with extremely high-heeled shoes.

There are one or two who display incredible grace and/or athleticism on stage, and it is always amazing how soft their legs are.

Like a baby's well-oiled bottom.

Otherwise, I tend to stand against a railing or at the downstairs bar to avoid personal dances.

Not that I mind them much, but they just want the money I'd rather spend on beer.

[Diceman]

I can only attest to the ones in Jersey, but if it's a strip bar, then no, they don't. State law says that if alcohol is served, then no nudity is allowed.
Michigan has a similar law. We have topless dancing, but no full-on nude dancing. I know of one place where the strippers take it all off, but they don't serve alcohol there.

[Scumpup]

Due to peculiarities in Pennsylvania alcohol laws, many places get around the can't-have-full-nudity thing by giving beer away. You pay a cover charge to get in, usually not as outrageously high as you might expect, and then drink all the beer you can stand at no additional charge. We are talking about stuff in the Coors Lite/Honey Brown/ Bud Light quality range, though.

[WhyNot]

You mean they don't? :eek:

Good God, I just realized that I'd fallen into believing that myth, having never actually been to one. So they really dance nekkid, do they?

I feel unbelivably naive, and I know I'm not.
Umm....you weren't the only one, Anaamika.

*slinks out of thread, wiser and wearier*

[tdn]

Apparently some clubs have gotten around the "beer or beaver" laws. The bar will be at one physical address, the strippers next door, and only a glass wall will separate the two. Probably makes for lousy lap dances, though.

[ShibbOleth]

A friend of mine got married in NYC. Despite not planning on it in advance, we ended up at a strip club. The place was so disgusting that I soon was outside, enjoying the fresh air and then a tasty BLT from a deli nearby. A couple of my friends also couldn't stand it and we were soon all eating late night snacks and talking about the club. Some of the nastiest women ever, most were obviously doped up junkies (with lots of visible track marks, on arms and legs).

A year or so later I saw the same club, in a movie or tv, with absolutely drop dead gorgeous women dancing while some detective tried to ferret information out of an informant.


Most of the clubs around here, and there are a lot, are kind of skanky although the women are a mix of "average, but looks good in dim light" to "wow". Some are dumb, some are smart; some seem nice enough, others are rude or mercenary or both. Some are all nude, some are bikinis, some are topless, with or without "pasties". Nude usually equals no alcohol, except, from what I hear, in the county immediately to the north of us. Some places you get on stage you risk a beating; others actively encourage women to go onstage and will allow men onstage and it often gets risque.

This is what I get for living in a touristy area.

My daughter asked about "The Kitten Club" the other day because she loves cats.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Or they go the other way and show all of the male patrons cheering, hootin' & hollerin', barely able to contain themselves from jumping up on the stage, and would but for the railing around the edge of the stage and their buddies holding them back. I've never seen any guy act that way; usually we just kind of sit back, drink our $8.50 bottle of Bud and quietly enjoy the scenery.

Now the female patrons, they usually get more expressive than the guys, in my experience.


agreed. the strip club is one of those bastions of male expression in which bringing a girl means they like it. if they like it, that means there's a chance that if you get them drunk enough, they're on stage too. i don't necessarily subscribe to this theory, but i've been to the titty bar a bunch of times with chicks..without fail, a guy in the table next to us always asks how much it's gonna take/how much booze she needs to get on stage.
chicks hoot and holler more than the guys do, in my experience as well.

[middleman]

Michigan has a similar law. We have topless dancing, but no full-on nude dancing. I know of one place where the strippers take it all off, but they don't serve alcohol there.

Texas law is the same. Ironically, that means that you can get into the bottomless clubs at 18 (where the topless clubs that serve alcohol require you to be 21).

The No-Alcohol clubs allow you to BYOB, however.

[Evil Captor]

Strippers almost never spread their legs and do some full-on butt wiggling. They always arrange themselves so they're to one side of you when they do it, so you see them in profile (and miss out on their naughty bits, or in the case of TV, the string part of their string thong).

Also, laps dances seem to involve little actual contact with a lap, it's more a matter of standing near the guy and dancing for him alone. I'm not up on lap dancing, so to speak, so for all I know, this may be accurate. If so, the name is misleading, to say the least.

[tdn]

Strippers almost never spread their legs
I'm starting to like MA more just because of this thread. Hail to the state where a buck will get you a face full of inner labia.

[HubZilla]

In Hawaii, they're fully nude and alcohol is allowed. The ones closer to Waikiki look movie/porn star material; absolutely stunning. Further away or near the military bases, think FOB (fresh off the boat). Oddly enough, the cover charges are about the same.

Coolest time? Went to a bachelor party where we ended up at a strip club. Cousin knew the bouncer, so no cover. Another cousin knew the bartender, so free beer. On the way home, we went out for a bite. His aunt was the waiter, so free food.

With all this cash, we went back to the strip club!

[Evil Captor]

I'm starting to like MA more just because of this thread. Hail to the state where a buck will get you a face full of inner labia.

I'm talking movies here ... they're certainly not like the Real Thing I guess ... which would explain the Real Thing's continued commercial success ...

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Wet beaver, anyone?


yes, please!

[tdn]

I'm talking movies here ... they're certainly not like the Real Thing I guess ... which would explain the Real Thing's continued commercial success ...
Absolutely, and I'm on board with you. But I think it's interesting that there is not just a big disparity between movies and reality, but from state to state. I think I'll stay put for now. Poon for a buck [republican mode]just makes good economic sense[/republican mode].

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Michigan has a similar law. We have topless dancing, but no full-on nude dancing. I know of one place where the strippers take it all off, but they don't serve alcohol there.


yes, that magical place is known as "windsor"...

...ahhh...cheetah's..*audible sigh*

[Amaranta]

First off, I always thought that only topless dancing was allowed in the States. I'm guessing this was partly because of movies, and partly because of this one time that, as the dancer too off her thong, the drunk US Navy guy at the table next to ours loudly yelled out, "We get to see pussy here?!?!?" I had no idea about the beer-or-beaver thing.

As for movie and TV strippers, it seems that they're either heart-of-gold drug-free volunteering-to-build-shelters-for-homeless-kitten types who just need to make some cash for school, or totally strung out junked up hos. I mean, I prefer places like the Paramount, so I'm not often hanging out in the crach shack places, but in general, the girls are nice, clean, and usually high on E or coke. I think most strippers fall between the extremes above - most drink or do drugs, very few are super-fresh faced clean OR nasty dirty.

And as a hint to men: I can't speak for all women, but the majority do not want to be picked up in a strip club. Even if you're cute or charming. Also, implying that you think they are/could be one of the dancers is not nearly as complimentary as you think. Thanks.

[corkboard]

Strippers almost never spread their legs and do some full-on butt wiggling. They always arrange themselves so they're to one side of you when they do it, so you see them in profile (and miss out on their naughty bits, or in the case of TV, the string part of their string thong).
Went to a bachelor party one time at a strip club around the Poughkeepsie, NY area. Girls were naked, beer was served. We proceeded to alienate ourselves by sitting by the end of the runway, folding up dollar bills like little paper footballs, and shooting field goals between the open 'V' legs of the young lass "dancing" for us. Hilarity ensued.

[RealityChuck]

You mean they don't? :eek:

Good God, I just realized that I'd fallen into believing that myth, having never actually been to one. So they really dance nekkid, do they?

I feel unbelivably naive, and I know I'm not.Don't feel bad. I only went once, but assumed that the dancers would be stripping, i.e., removing their clothes as they danced, probably drawing things out for 5-10 minutes before they went all nude.

Nope. The clothes -- G-string and top -- were gone in about 30 seconds (for the slower ones).

[ShibbOleth]

In Hawaii, they're fully nude and alcohol is allowed. The ones closer to Waikiki look movie/porn star material; absolutely stunning. Further away or near the military bases, think FOB (fresh off the boat). Oddly enough, the cover charges are about the same.

Coolest time? Went to a bachelor party where we ended up at a strip club. Cousin knew the bouncer, so no cover. Another cousin knew the bartender, so free beer. On the way home, we went out for a bite. His aunt was the waiter, so free food.

With all this cash, we went back to the strip club!

Kind of a pity that sis/cuz/neighbor wasn't working at the club, the whole evening might have been free. And what does "fresh off the boat" imply? I'd seem to think it would be a good thing, but are you implying a connection with fish versus innocent?

[tdn]

We proceeded to alienate ourselves by sitting by the end of the runway, folding up dollar bills like little paper footballs, and shooting field goals between the open 'V' legs of the young lass "dancing" for us. Hilarity ensued.
I know the week is new, but this is quite possibly the funniest thing I've read all week.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

All the bartenders at strip clubs are tough ex-cons, but they all fold when leaned on by the cops.

[Scissorjack]

Kind of a pity that sis/cuz/neighbor wasn't working at the club, the whole evening might have been free. And what does "fresh off the boat" imply? I'd seem to think it would be a good thing, but are you implying a connection with fish versus innocent?

In Hawaii, they probably ship in Filipinas or Thai girls: depending on the club, some of them work under pretty nasty conditions which amount to virtual slavery, too.

[Anaamika]

I'm starting to like MA more just because of this thread. Hail to the state where a buck will get you a face full of inner labia.
Dingleberries cost extra.

[HubZilla]

In Hawaii, they probably ship in Filipinas or Thai girls: depending on the club, some of them work under pretty nasty conditions which amount to virtual slavery, too.

Pretty much. You get the "less professional looking" girls who are presumably trying to pay back "immigration fees" to their employers. The ones around Waikiki are much, much hotter appear to be local girls.

It's 100% naked, all the glories are shown and wiggled. For lapdances, though, go to the Korean "relaxation bars", more bang for your buck. Literally.

ShibbOleth, when I recount that evening to friends, I usually add on that the dancer was his sister, so free lapdances!

[Diceman]

yes, that magical place is known as "windsor"...

...ahhh...cheetah's..*audible sigh*
Actually, I was talking about this place in Ypsilanti. I thought Cheetah's of Windsor served alcohol. (It's been quite a few years since I've been clubbing in Canada. Things might have changed over there.)

[Steve MB]

We are talking about stuff in the Coors Lite/Honey Brown/ Bud Light quality range, though.
"Your cat has diabetes...."

[Little Nemo]

You kids now a days with your TV and movies. I learned about strip clubs the old fashioned way - by going to strip clubs. And here's what I learned:

Canadian strip clubs are better than American strip clubs.
Get a good seat by the stage. You went there for the view.
Gentlemen's Clubs are overrated and overpriced.
Bikers' strip clubs usually don't have enough dancers.
Tip the waitresses.
Amateur night is usually fun for everyone.
The best time to go to a strip club is the early afternoon.
The dancers are there to make a living. Don't make their life difficult.
Pert shampoo floresces under a UV light.
Don't go to Big Daddy's in New Orleans.

[SmartAleq]

Ah, Portland, where the strippers roam free... In the call center where I work we have quite a number of young ladies who moonlight on the pole--it keeps them in ready cash while the dayjob satisfies the IRS. The wimmins get completely naked, many of the dancers (the Suicide Girls leap to mind) are nude artists of the first water, and the beer is really good. Matter of fact, since all Oregon bars are required to serve food, some of the strip clubs have pretty damned good kitchens attached--at the Acropolis the owner uses the club as a venue to sell off his home ranched beef, and you can get a steak dinner for like three bucks or something bizarre. The Safari Club had a neat little angle--tanks of piranhas and feeder goldfish available for sale to dump into the tanks for a price (sex and death, it's the perfect marketing gimmick!) The Viewpoint is fun, one floor is female dancers, one floor is males. A little something for everyone.

As a woman who appreciates strippers quite a bit, I can tell you that the right woman on Sushi Row can make the girls (and the audience) very happy--if you flirt and play around with the strippers it gets the guys handing out money like it was on rails and the dancers will buy the chick in the audience drinks to say thanks.

Strip clubs are fun when done right and staffed by dancers who enjoy their work and look at it like any other art form. Unfortunately, for every "Exotica" in the movie universe there's a whole bunch of redneck stereotype strip bars (think "48 Hours") and then on to the "Blue Iguana," which is a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

The "juice bar" concept is sick and disturbing. A person ought to be able to enjoy a nice drink while appreciating the gyrations of a naked dancer--it oughta be in the Bill of Rights or something... ;)

[Ludy]

I have only been to one 'peeler bar and I was less than impressed. The stripper was an older woman who was to her credit, very athletic, but I guess it wasnt my thing. She saw that I was kinda bored and started to have a conversation with me while she was on her back legs in the air spread eagle playing with her clit ring.

One thing that apparently only happens in Alberta is that the strippers, hold cards in there...... lips or really anywhere that it will stay and the patrons throw loonies at them. If they knock the card off they get a free poster.


I am a girl BTW

[astro]

I learned that

1: Strippers usually have a kid of some kind
2: Come from abusive families who are ashamed of them
3: Have criminal boyfriends
4: Turn tricks on the side
5: Have perfect teeth no matter how down and out their circumstances or how bad their drug habit is

[El_Kabong]

The only thing I can add directly addressing the OP is that there seem to be a lot more TV and movie strippers in cowboy outfits than actually exist IRL.

Also, laps dances seem to involve little actual contact with a lap, it's more a matter of standing near the guy and dancing for him alone. I'm not up on lap dancing, so to speak, so for all I know, this may be accurate. If so, the name is misleading, to say the least.

In many areas, there are laws mandating that the dances take place at a certain distance from the customer to prevent anything that might be considered lewd contact. These laws are certainly in force at Houston clubs, but I can state from extensive study of, er, a purely scientific nature, that unless cops are known to be in the club they are completely ignored. In my experience with any given dancer, to paraphrase Groucho Marx, if she were any closer she'd be behind me.

[Superdude]

Don't feel bad. I only went once, but assumed that the dancers would be stripping, i.e., removing their clothes as they danced, probably drawing things out for 5-10 minutes before they went all nude.

I've been a handful of times.

The first time I went to a strip club, it was because a friend was dating a dancer, and she locked her keys in her car, so we had to take her a spare set. We're standing just inside, talking (she hasn't been on stage yet, so she's clothed). All around us, these girls are walking by in various states of undress. However, it just doesn't so anything for me. If I were 17, then, yeah, I'd be in Heaven. When you get older, it's like watching a band rehearse: If you can play an instrument, you don't wanna watch, you wanna jam.

[DocCathode]

I've learned that-

If I stay for more than ten minutes, one or more of the following will happen-

-There will be a huge fight involving men large enough to be professional football players. Heavy objects will be thrown. At least one chair will be broken over somebody's back

-There will be a shoot out. This will probably involve a tough as nails cop who is having problems with his by the book captain.

-Somebody will turn up dead.

-I will be mistaken for somebody else, probably a criminal of some kind.

[LonesomePolecat]

I learned that

5: Have perfect teeth no matter how down and out their circumstances or how bad their drug habit is
LOL! You know, this bugs about an awful lot of movies and TV shows. Pretty much everybody has perfect teeth. In a film set in medieval Europe, when dentistry barely even existed, everybody has perfect teeth, even the peasants. In a film set in the rural South in the '30's, where half the population could barely afford a toothbrush let alone adequate dental care, everybody has perfect teeth. In a prison movie of any era, the cons all have perfect teeth.

Damn, where can I get a set of superteeth that can survive any amount of neglect and abuse without so much as a cavity??!?

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Actually, I was talking about this place in Ypsilanti. I thought Cheetah's of Windsor served alcohol. (It's been quite a few years since I've been clubbing in Canada. Things might have changed over there.)


yeah, cheetah's has alcohol. last time i went there, we went to see foxy boxing. that's always a non-nude delight.

[tdn]

Apropos of nothing...

This club that I used to visit (I haven't been in one for years) had a huge mirror behind the stage. Dancers would often lean against it, leaving a multitude of "finger" prints all over it. One day, one dancer got fed up with it. ( I should note that this particular dancer was somewhat plump, for whatever that's worth.) Instead of getting naked, she spent her entire stage time bitching about what pigs people were, and cleaning the mirror. Meanwhile I was paying through the nose just to sit there.

"Gee", I thought, "This must be what married sex is like."

Betcha don't see that in the movies.

[Tristan]

Out here in Sacramento (Rancho Cordova actually, where it seems all the strip clubs are), they are juice bars.

Several years ago, a rather old and unpleasant looking woman who was offering lap dances was also offering blow jobs.

nobody took her up on her offer, of course, but still. Yuck.

I enjoy them, but I only have a good time if I can get a female to come with me. My ex-wife used to enjoy them quite a bit. My current wife, not so much....

*sigh*

[Maus Magill]

I went to the nudie bar once. Once.

I discovered I was ill suited for it.

The point is to look, but I didn't want to look, because that would be impolite.

I also called the servers "ma'am", which they thought was "sooo cute!"

I then spent two days looking a women I knew and thinking, "I wonder how she would look in a g-string."

[RickJay]

Having once spent a lot of time at a strip club, I can attest to most of this. Most were fantastically good looking, though a bunch were plain at best, and one or two were utt-bugly. A great majority of them were quite intelligent.
Kind of hard to believe, that.

I guess maybe I don't quite understand how it would come to pass that the pool of strippers would somehow self-select for great intelligence. In any randomly chosen group of people, you would expect them to have average intelligence, unless there was some selection criteria for being in the group that would choose for intelligence - for instance, a group of doctors, or a group of Jeopardy! champions. What about a group of strippers would cause them to be disproportionately intelligent?

[Indygrrl]

Right. The strippers I have known haven't been overwhelmingly intelligent. I'd say ten percent of the 200 or so girls I've worked with have been college students, or of above average intelligence. The majority of the dancers I've known are not smart at all.

[Scumpup]

A few of my former students have gone on to work as strippers. Most of them were of normal intelligence. One of them, who is still dancing, was clearly of above average intelligence.
All of them went into it because they thought it would be a relatively easy way to earn good money w/o having to do anything tedious like go to college or a vocational school.

[tdn]

What about a group of strippers would cause them to be disproportionately intelligent?
I said "quite", not "disproportionately." While a few were top-notch thinkers, most were of average or slightly above average intelligence. One might expect strippers to be, in general, as dumb as a bag of spatulas. At least that's the stereotype.

[BrainGlutton]

You mean they don't? :eek:

Good God, I just realized that I'd fallen into believing that myth, having never actually been to one. So they really dance nekkid, do they?

Depends on the club -- or on local ordinances. In Hillsborough County, Florida (where Tampa is), there are "bikini bars" that serve alcoholic beverages, and all-nude clubs that, by law, do not. I guess the County Commissioners at some point decided alcohol and nudity was just too dangerous a combination.

[BrainGlutton]

Laws and ordinances notwithstanding, strippers are routinely required to perform oral sex on the owner and his friends. (The Sopranos.)

[saoirse]

Depends on the club -- or on local ordinances. In Hillsborough County, Florida (where Tampa is), there are "bikini bars" that serve alcoholic beverages, and all-nude clubs that, by law, do not. I guess the County Commissioners at some point decided alcohol and nudity was just too dangerous a combination.

Actually, it's that they can't ban nude dancing, as it is protected speech. They can, however make just about any law they like about who can serve alcohol. Thus a bar that has any nudity can be denied a liquor license, and forced to sell juice. Around here, it's total nudity that will prevent you from getting a liquor license. Boobies are OK.

[Available Jones]

I have only one thing to contribute:

[Chris Rock]
There is no sex in the champagne room!
[/Chris Rock]

[Nic2004]

Depends on the club -- or on local ordinances. In Hillsborough County, Florida (where Tampa is), there are "bikini bars" that serve alcoholic beverages, and all-nude clubs that, by law, do not. I guess the County Commissioners at some point decided alcohol and nudity was just too dangerous a combination.
Ah, Tampa! Dale Mabry! Mons Venus! Damn. I've crawled out of that place more than once. Used to be you could bring in your own bottle and there was an ABC liquor across the four-lane highway. That way, when you've finished your bottle of Jack Daniels you can stagger across the highway for another! Good times, good times.

[Evil Captor]

I said "quite", not "disproportionately." While a few were top-notch thinkers, most were of average or slightly above average intelligence. One might expect strippers to be, in general, as dumb as a bag of spatulas. At least that's the stereotype.

Wonder where that stereotype comes from. Couldn't be ... movies or TV, could it?

[Evil Captor]

I have only one thing to contribute:

[Chris Rock]
There is no sex in the champagne room!
[/Chris Rock]

[Ultra Chris Rock]
Well, not the one that let the black people into!
[/Ultra Chris Rock]

[crowmanyclouds]

Go-Go bars have live bands.
I've been to almost every Go-Go bar in the north half of New Jersey (not for fun, I was a driver/bouncer) never saw a band.

CMC

[ShibbOleth]

Ah, Tampa! Dale Mabry! Mons Venus! Damn. I've crawled out of that place more than once. Used to be you could bring in your own bottle and there was an ABC liquor across the four-lane highway. That way, when you've finished your bottle of Jack Daniels you can stagger across the highway for another! Good times, good times.

The ABC Liquor is still there. Dale Mabry is six lanes, plus the center turn lane and the occasional turn lane. Please be careful if you're crossing it drunk. The Mons no longer allows you to BYOB. Joe Redner, the guy who owns the Mons, has come out of the closet. The 2000 Odyssey across the street is almost as famous, and now has a Sonic practically next door. Just south of both there is now a plaza with lots of shopping, like a new Target, Wine Store, Macaroni Grill (I think), etc.

Just so you have the update. BTW, an unforeseen consequence of not allowing alcohol with nudity is that the nudie bars can pretty much stay open as late as they wish, whilst the Tampa bars must close by 3 am.

[FriarTed]

Pert shampoo floresces under a UV light.
Don't go to Big Daddy's in New Orleans.

RE both of these, I sense that hereby hangs a tale...

[Lionne]

Just so you have the update. BTW, an unforeseen consequence of not allowing alcohol with nudity is that the nudie bars can pretty much stay open as late as they wish, whilst the Tampa bars must close by 3 am.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but a recent visit to Bare Assets included both alcohol, nudity, and a last call at 2am. Were they just kicking us all out early, or is there some exception to this new rule?

[Lionne]

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but a recent visit to Bare Assets included both alcohol, nudity, and a last call at 2am. Were they just kicking us all out early, or is there some exception to this new rule?

Actually, I think I misunderstood. You're saying that alcohol + nudity = close at 3am and no alcohol + nudity = open all night.

Right?

maybe I ought to pay better attention or head to bed...

[Little Nemo]

maybe I ought to pay better attention or head to bed...
Or go out to a strip club.

[Little Nemo]

RE both of these, I sense that hereby hangs a tale...
Not much of a tale, but here they are:
Pert shampoo floresces under a UV light.
I learned this at a strip club in Rochester, NY - the Mirage Palace, a very nice place I'd recommend. They had a feature dancer, Melissa Wolf, who had been in Penthouse. She came out and did her dance, then brought out a kiddie's wading pool and took an onstage bath in it. Part of this bath involved pouring Pert shampoo all over her naked body - which as I mentioned was flourescent under the UV light (the shampoo not the body). This story remind me of an additional thing I learned at a strip clubs: Always clap and cheer like a lunatic for the feature dancer.

Why? you ask. Because the final part of her act consisted of Ms Wolf picking volunteers out of the audience to assist her in reaching those hard to wash areas. Unlike my friends, who had been seeking to prove they were cool, I had shown my appreciation for Ms Wolf's performance and was one of the lucky chosen few.

Of course being Melissa Wolf's sponge boy was nothing compared to what happened that time that Nina Hartley picked me to come up on stage. Now that woman knew what audience participation was all about.
Don't go to Big Daddy's in New Orleans.
This story happened several years ago, back when New Orleans was still in its full glory. I was visiting the city for a few days and was wandering about the French Quarter. Bourbon Street is pretty much a 24 hour a day party and the bars and strip clubs are open round the clock. I decided I should check one of the strip clubs out and picked Big Daddy's because it advertised itself as being full nude and no cover. And they had a nude girl in the doorway beckoning in customers.

Now as I wrote above, I'm a firm believer that the ladies have to make a living. I tip all the dancers and I tip all the waitresses. But I hate being hustled. And hustle was the name of the game in Big Daddy's. I ordered a drink and the waitress flat out asked me for a tip before I had a chance to give her one. And it was the same with the dancer on stage. I gave them the same tips I had planned on giving them anyway but I was becoming annoyed. And I usually don't get annoyed at naked women.

So after only about fifteen minutes, I was already considering leaving when this dancer came up to me and asked me if I wanted a private dance. On the one hand, it was another hustle for my money. On the other hand, she looked like Jennifer Aniston. So off to the back room we went.

And the hustle wasn't over. Once we got back there I asked her how much the dance would cost and she told me twenty dollars was the regular price but for thirty dollars she'd do a "special" dance. More hustling, more annoyance. But how many chances are you going to have to get a lap dance from Jennifer Aniston? So I figured I was going to leave after the dance anyway and gave her the full thirty bucks.

Now there's an unwritten code for lap dances. Or at least there should be. And that code should clearly state that your private dance should last for one complete song. If the music's already playing the dancer can talk with you until the next song begins. But this dancer was apparently working on a schedule. She began dancing in the middle of the song that was already playing. Then she spent half the time that remained wearing her costume before stripping naked. For my thirty dollars I probably got about thirty seconds of nude dancing. And if her dance was special in any way, I'd have been really disappointed by her regular dance.

So I left. With the waitress asking if I wanted to buy another drink and the dancer on stage asking if I wanted to buy another private dance. The irony is that if they hadn't been so eager to get at my money I'd have stayed a while and spent five times as much.

[ShibbOleth]

Actually, I think I misunderstood. You're saying that alcohol + nudity = close at 3am and no alcohol + nudity = open all night.

Right?

maybe I ought to pay better attention or head to bed...

Bare Assets (Not personally familiar, had to Google) has locations in Key West, Melbourne and Holiday. None of those are in Tampa. Holiday is nearby, but just north of the Hillsborough County line in Pasco. I believe that Pasco has nude and alcohol, but note the earlier closing times. Also ordinances will go by county PLUS municipality so it can get a bit complicated. Mons Venus is definitely in Hillsborough county and I believe it's also within Tampa city limits. I think the Mons stays open to at least 4-6 am, maybe varying by the day of the week. It's been a really long time since I was at a bar or similar (in the USA) until closing time, so these are approximations. The site where I found the info (probably semi-worksafe, but just in case it's www stripclublist com) lists the 2001, Mons, and 7 Seas (even more notorious and WAY more skanky than the first two) as non-alcohol and open until 5 am.

Tampa bars are open until 3 am, which is pretty late in my book, but if you feel compelled to be out in a bar after that there seem to be a lot of afterhours clubs around and they are easy enough to get into.

[Lionne]

Bare Assets (Not personally familiar, had to Google) has locations in Key West, Melbourne and Holiday. None of those are in Tampa. Holiday is nearby, but just north of the Hillsborough County line in Pasco. I believe that Pasco has nude and alcohol, but note the earlier closing times. Also ordinances will go by county PLUS municipality so it can get a bit complicated. Mons Venus is definitely in Hillsborough county and I believe it's also within Tampa city limits. .

After talking with the designated driver from that night, we DID go to the Holiday location, because our county doesn't have nude and alcohol. You are 100 percent right there.
Haven't been to Mons yet, but I've heard good things.

[Evil Captor]

Drug dealers openly set up lines of coke in the booths, because it's inconceivable that a cop would go to a strip club. (See my OP for the inherent contradiction there.)

[Nic2004]

Bare Assets (Not personally familiar, had to Google) has locations in Key West, Melbourne and Holiday. <bolding mine>
HA! I knew it! I had a vauge memory of having been to a Bare Assets before but couldn't remember where (or when).
After my big motorcycle wreak, after leaving the hospital in Daytona, I was sent to a Rehab Hospital in Melbourne FL to learn to walk again.
On my very first "day out" since the wreak three months before, my friends came and asked where would I like us all to go? "A TITTY BAR" says I! After asking some of the male staff, we were directed to Bare Assets in that town. I was still in a wheel chair at that point but we found that if I unlocked the footrests on the chair, they would swing to each side and I could be wheeled right up to the runway. Oh yeah! Fun was had by all that afternoon I'll tell ya.
I wanted a tee shirt to commemorate the event but alas, they were all out of black in XL. Except for the one the bouncer was wearing. After a brief discussion, he agreed to let me have his since I was offering to buy him one of the others.

<sniff> I still have that shirt here somewhere

[Evil Captor]

I forgot one of the most key things I learned about strip clubs in the movies:

Apparently, patrons of strip clubs don't really like dancers who remove their clothes too soon and dance too sexy and are too sexy-looking.

That is, if the protagonist of the movie is a stripper, she will clearly be the favorite of the vast majority of patrons in the club, despite the fact that she clearly cannot dance well, tends to keep her clothes on longer than the others and to be less raunchy in her style of dance than the others, and isn't as beautiful or well endowed as most other dancers.

[Stentor 2.5]

I then spent two days looking a women I knew and thinking, "I wonder how she would look in a g-string."


Yesterday my frined asked me if I spent the next three days wondering what various women would look like naked after I went to a strip club. I replied, "You mean you only do that after going to a strip club?!"

[Evil Captor]

If you're a REAL pervert, you go to a strip club and look at a woman standing there exposing her uvula for all the world to see, and think, "I wondered what she'd look like in a baggy jogging suit?"

[Rigamarole]

I've been to a strip club in Mexico (not even a touristy area of Mexico), where the women were all quite fine, there was alcohol, they got topless and bottomless, and the girls will sit with you and caress you if you buy them a drink. (an expensive drink though, about $8 US. And they'll probably do more if you negotiate but I wasn't in the market for that at the time)

And, I didn't even have to be 21. I was 19. Viva Mexico!

[CalMeacham]

If you're a REAL pervert, you go to a strip club and look at a woman standing there exposing her uvula for all the world to see, and think, "I wondered what she'd look like in a baggy jogging suit?"



(italics mine).


I honestly believe that was intentional. If it wasn't, claim that it was. It's worth it.

[D_Odds]

I can only attest to the ones in Jersey, but if it's a strip bar, then no, they don't. State law says that if alcohol is served, then no nudity is allowed.

We once went to a juice bar outside of Atlantic City that had full nudity. However, the girls there were...how to say this nicely...a bit worn. <shudder>

Of course, laws may have changed in the 10 years since I've been to one.
NY is the same, last I remember (also about 10 years ago).

[Evil Captor]

(italics mine).


I honestly believe that was intentional. If it wasn't, claim that it was. It's worth it.

Well, wherever on the human body the uvula may be located, you've got to admit, it sounds like it's located someplace you'd have to go to a strip club to see ... :D

[tdn]

I've been to a strip club in Mexico (not even a touristy area of Mexico), where the women were all quite fine, there was alcohol, they got topless and bottomless, and the girls will sit with you and caress you if you buy them a drink. (an expensive drink though, about $8 US. And they'll probably do more if you negotiate but I wasn't in the market for that at the time)
There's a titty bar in MA where you get the same deal. Except the drinks are 10, 20, or 30 dollars. $30, and she'll sit with you for a good 20 minutes. The most expensive drink is $175, an entire bottle of champaign, which she'll spend an hour or two drinking. Next to you.

The caress is variable. It might be a not-so-subtle "Hands off" to actually grabbing your package. Usually the former.

[BrainGlutton]

Here's something I've heard from dancers at various clubs but have not seen accurately portrayed in movies or TV: The club pays the dancers nothing; they work for tips only. Which is why they're so aggressive about selling the patrons lap dances.

[D_Odds]

I then spent two days looking [at] a women I knew and thinking, "I wonder how she would look in a g-string."
Don't need a strip club for me to wonder that about an attractive lady. Although, as the years have progressed and the number of ladies I've seen naked has increased (although I may have reached the apex - *sigh*, that I'm too young for), I've realized that imagining what they look like under the clothing is often better than actually seeing under the clothing. Not that I mind seeing under the clothing; it is just that fantasy very often trumps reality.

[Lemur866]

Here's something I've heard from dancers at various clubs but have not seen accurately portrayed in movies or TV: The club pays the dancers nothing; they work for tips only. Which is why they're so aggressive about selling the patrons lap dances.

Not only that, but in some places the dancers have to pay the club a certain amount every night. If the dancer doesn't make that amount in tips that night they'll be actually losing money.

[Operation Ripper]

... fully nude, beer/wine served, allows you to bring in brown-bagged liquor, $40 for lapdance with frequent two-for one specials.

And the dancers allow you to actually touch them, everywhere except the crotch. Occasionally, they lock the doors, all the patrons surround the main stage and toss bills on two or more gals who then put on an act. :cool: Haven't seen that on TV yet.

[Renob]

Due to peculiarities in Pennsylvania alcohol laws, many places get around the can't-have-full-nudity thing by giving beer away. You pay a cover charge to get in, usually not as outrageously high as you might expect, and then drink all the beer you can stand at no additional charge. We are talking about stuff in the Coors Lite/Honey Brown/ Bud Light quality range, though.

A friend who lives in Pittsburgh told me about this. He raved about a great strip club outside of town where $20 will get you in and all the beer you can drink. Coming from DC I was amazed at the good deal. $20 in DC will get you about 3 bottles of beer. When I went up to visit him I found that in Pittsburgh you can drink for about $1 a beer so it wasn't quite such a good deal. We still went and had a hell of a time, though.

Back to the OP -- one thing that always strikes me is that when I watch the Sopranos the strippers at the Bada Bing have the grossest fake tits. I've seen quite a few strippers and only a few have breasts that clearly look fake.

In fact, when at the Pittsburgh club mentioned above, my friend and I got into a debate about one of the stripper's breasts. I swore they were real, he swore they were fake. When we asked her if they were real, she replied, "Yeah. . . real expensive." They looked quite nice, though.

[Dragwyr]

From the movie, "From Dusk til Dawn":
Strippers are all vampire spawn just laying in wait to suck the life blood from anyone stupid enough to walk into their sultry erotic trap.

The general impression I get from TV:
All strippers know how to dance. IRL this is definately not the case.

[Indygrrl]

Back to the OP -- one thing that always strikes me is that when I watch the Sopranos the strippers at the Bada Bing have the grossest fake tits. I've seen quite a few strippers and only a few have breasts that clearly look fake.

Lucky you. lol.

Check out the Nudes a Poppin website sometime if you want to see examples of strippers with really horrid tit jobs.

[CapnPitt]

... fully nude, beer/wine served, allows you to bring in brown-bagged liquor, $40 for lapdance with frequent two-for one specials.

And the dancers allow you to actually touch them, everywhere except the crotch. Occasionally, they lock the doors, all the patrons surround the main stage and toss bills on two or more gals who then put on an act. :cool: Haven't seen that on TV yet.

Been there! Memphis is a great place for strip clubs. Puts the places in Pittsburgh to shame. The Gold Club at Summer and White Station (in Memphis) is a touch seedy, but it's an excellent strip club.