Evil Professional Chefs

[Doobieous]

I was watching one of those cooking shows that features high class type chefs. One thing that i saw that drives me absolutely nuts is, they will chop up something and then only use HALF of what they chopped up! Why cut that much up if you are only going to use half?!

Also another thing, the Chefs they show that hail from Hawaii always talk about how great "Hawaiian" food is. Uh hello? I always thought that was like a tropical variation on Euro-Asian (One of the greatest of sins was combining Lumpia (eggrolls) with a berre blanc sauce (Sp?). Anyway, the cool chefs are those who actually were born and raised in Hawaii. One was telling us that we didn't need all of these specialty "Hawaiian" foods, and that we could substitute (i like that!). Something the other snobby chefs never do. Ugh! Anyway i had to get that off of my chest!

[C K Dexter Haven]

If you get a chance, don't miss the show IRON CHEF... it's a cook-off contest in Japan, between two Japanese chefs. They have a specific theme (the one I saw was some fish, red snapper I think) that they are to use in making a full meal. One of 'em used the fins, dappled in sugar, as decoration for the dessert. The show was a stitch, the dubbing was terrible (adding to the hilarity). Japanese cultural norms are very different from American.

[Doobieous]

I have heard about that show. It sounds like a very interesting program. I hear one of the Americans (or is he the only one) who won,actually has the food he cooked on that show on his restaurants menu. Ahh, leave it to the Japanese to mix cooking with combat (well at least make it a competition).

[Contestant #3]

I used to love to watch that cooking show with the old Cajun guy (can't remember his name)...now there's a chef that I could relate to!

Is that dude still around?

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Contestant #3

[ellis555]

go rent "Mr. Nice Guy" - jackie chan as a TV chef.

ellis

[Gilligan]

C3 - that's Justin Wilson. He's still on local PBS but I don't know whether it's reruns or not. Great food - I ga-ron-tee!

[According to Pliny]

Re: Iron Chef:

http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/000325.html

and

http://www.ironchef.com/

[aseymayo]

I just saw my first IRON CHEF show last night - it was a riot! The dubbed dialogue sounds like Firesign Theatre.

[Sassy]

The chef from America that won (the only non-Japanese AFAIK) works around the corner from my place. The place is SOOO snooty that you could not possibly find it unless you knew it was there. I think I walked by it once a day for two years before I realized it was a restaurant. Needless to say, I can't afford to eat there...

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The reason gentlemen prefer blondes is that there are not enough redheads to go around.

[tracer]

The neat thing about Iron Chef is that the narrators sound like American Football sportscasters. They even have a main play-by-play commentator and a "color commentator" going back-and-forth!

Almost as amusing as that PDQ Bach / Peter Schickele sketch where they sportscast Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

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I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low.

[evilbeth]

The shows with Justin Wilson are re-runs--he's dead.

[UncleBeer]

Hawaiian cooking? Aren't these the people who eat more Spam per capita than anyone else?

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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

[Doobieous]

Hawaiian cooking? Aren't these the people who eat more Spam per capita than anyone else?

That's my question :). From what i can tell,"Hawai'ian" cooking according to these chefs is re-done Euro-Asian with locally grown "Hawai'ian fruits" (Which are really the tropical fruits from asia but called Hawai'ian because they're grown there *Gag*). Note that the chefs who call it that are the upper end chefgs in big fancy high priced restaurants. I think i know the ancestry of Hawai'ian cooking: Nouvelle cuisine, California, Euro-Asian fusion, then Hawaiian. I guess when the trend dies down they'll use blueberries,cranberries, and temperate fruits and call it Asian-American cooking or something.

I should ask my cousin Inday who grew up on Molokai what is "Hawai'ian cooking". She'll probably get confused and ask me "WTF is that?!".

[gene]

What became of the "Frugal Gourmet"? I believe his name is jeff Smith, from somewhere west of Chicago. Anyway, he got into trouble a while back-seems he had more than cookin on his mind...

[BunnyGirl]

I used to love the Frugal Gourmet! I guess some rumor about him and Boy Scouts or something! Anyone know any truth in this?

[AzRaek]

When we flew United last week, we discovered they're on a Hawaiian-cuisine kick. Loved the chocolate-caramel-macadamias, but the "meat" was horrifying! Was it pork, or beef, or what? I like SPAM, and this wasn't it either.

[Diane]

It is true, Jeff Smith was accused of molesting boys who bussed for him at his restaurant. I can't remember the details but he made a settlement with at least one guy. This is why his show was taken off the air.

If anyone knows Craig (his assistant on the TV show) please send me his address and phone number. I want to marry him. The guy can cook, clean up, and he's kinda cute as well.

I love Cachina Amore (Nick is sexy in a weird way) and I think Yan Can Cook is hilarious, but I really miss Craig and my Saturday afternoon fantasy (half) hour.

I also like watching Yankee Workshop, This Old House, Victory Garden, Bob. . . Uh. . . crap, it is late at night, my brain is shutting down. . . . Bob the dead art guy. Shit, what is his name? I like watching Know Your Fire just to see what disgusting thing the guy can come up with (ever see the peanutbutter/chicken stock soup? Bleeech).

I wish I had more time to watch these shows.

. . . Ross.

Finally. :)


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>^,,^<
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

[UncleBeer]

"Know Your Fire" is hosted by a guy named George Hirsch. Did you ever notice that nothing he cooks seems to get hot? I mean I don't think I've seen steam coming from his dishes more than a couple of times. I've taken to calling his show, "Sweat Your Meat."

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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

[kellibelli]

Ross.....Bob Ross.

Painted landscapes, brought his 'little friends' (squirrels etc) in to visit.

[BurnMeUp]

Jeff Smith lives in Seattle, In fact I have seen him several times when at Pike's Marketplace. He's in a wheelchair now (unknown why) and it is rumored he may have another show in the works.

I personally like Emeril Lagasse and Paul Prudholm

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

[Diane]

Yeah - George Hirsch. I have yet to see anything he has BBQ'd that I would feed my dog, let alone eat myself.

Everytime I see him he looks a little chubbier. I am thinking that he is the only person on staff that will eat the stuff so he cleans up when he goes off the air.

That would be great if Jeff Smith came back on the air and brought Craig back with him. Ummmm, I wonder if the two of them. . . you know, afterall, Craig does have that boyish charm. ;)

I hate this show, but does anyone know what happened to Nancy on "Sewing With Nancy"? It almost looks like she has had a stroke or nerve damage in one side of her face.

I'm starting to sound like a How-To Show junky (I am) but I have so many questions. . . .

There is another carpentry show that I have been wracking my brain trying to think of the name. I am having one of those brain farts and can't get the name "Tool-Time" out of my head. Obviously not the correct name. I think it is called Home-something. It features a man and a women (she really impresses me). Anyway, are they married?



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>^,,^<
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

[manhattan]

Are you perhaps thinking about Hometime (http://www.pbs.org/hometime) with Dean Johnson and Robin Hartl? No, they’re not married. In fact, the Hometime homepage (I hope I’ve done it right!) FAQ has the question "What’s up with Dean and all his "wives?"
And Robin is not the best "wife." JoAnne was.


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Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

[RTA]

When we flew United last week, we discovered they're on a Hawaiian-cuisine kick. Loved the chocolate-caramel-macadamias, but the "meat" was horrifying! Was it pork, or beef, or what? I like SPAM, and this wasn't it either.

I'm impressed that United would spend the money to serve "long pig" on their flights. ("Long pig" is a very rare Polynesian delicacy.)

[NicePete]

<<Homer voice>> MMMMMMM Long Pig....

Emeril ROCKS!!! My favorite was when he made Turducken, which is a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken. Wow.

And Bob Ross, gotta miss him. "OK, a happy little tree lives here" slap, slap "and a happy little stream goes through here" scrape scrape "and here's where Mr. Mountain lives..." poke poke. 30 seconds later there's a painting suitable for hanging in any Holiday Inn I've ever been in.

On the fix-it side, Men In Tool Belts (a.k.a. "The Furniture Guys") is the second funniest show on TV (just behind the Simpsons). Check it out on Discovery (I think).

One I can't stand -- Room by Room on HGTV. Yeesh, that simpering husband. Look, Nancy-boy, you've got a home improvement show, how about exhibiting a little testosterone?

And yes, JoAnne was cooler than Robin.

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"Owls will deafen us with their incessant hooting!" W. Smithers

[pldennison]

Emeril. . .man I hate that guy. Or I hate his audience, anyway. Everytime he touches anything, they hoot and holler like frigging WWF fans. The other night, they went berserk when he put vanilla ice cream on a pie. It's pie a la mode, people, settle down, OK?

[NicePete]

Oh, lighten up Francis (Phil). It's supposed to be fun, for God's sake! OK, OK, so it's just good ol' pie a la mode. To me, the attraction of Emeril is the food for food's sake. No guilt. No fat grams, no cholesterol, no sodium, no nothin'. It's downright decadent, and Emeril plays it that way. He's the Mick Jagger of the kitchen set, if you will. What's the matter with a little hootin' and hollerin' to show genuine appreciation? It makes the show entertaining. Take the showmanship outta Emeril and you're left with Nathalie Dupree (or ==shudder== Martha Stewart).

Welcome back Phil. Hope the leg is healing nicely.

[pldennison]

You just made the list, buddy . . . :)

I don't know why it bugs me, it just does. I don't need a hootin' and hollerin' audience to appreciate a good recipe. Heck, the audience on "Ready, Set, Cook!" is more sedate! (A show I enjoy, BTW.)

The leg is doing OK, BTW. I'm back at work, finally, and the doctor has told me to put a little weight on it. I go back in two weeks, when I suspect the cast will come off since the fracture will be healed, then I schedule the followup surgery to take the large screw out for the first week of October.

[Diane]

Hometime! Yeah, that's the ticket! I love that show!

Speaking of annoying audiences, every time I accidentally see a few seconds of any Ronco infomercial I have this incredible urge to crawl through the TV screen and choke the living shit out of Mr. Dipshit, his ugly daughter, obnoxious blonde woman, and every single member of the studio audience.

I will admit to buying the dehydrator. :::shrug:::


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&gt;^,,^&lt;
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

[UncleBeer]

Hey, RTA isn't "long pig" a euphemism for human flesh, the other, other white meat? It can't be too rare, there are lots of Polynesians.

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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

[RTA]

Why, I don't know whatever you could mean ...

[Rodd Hill]

Greatest cooking show IMO is/was "Two Fat Ladies", with these two upper-middle-class British women (one Scots, one English), who cook full-bore cholesterol bombs: everything is with full cream, whole milk, no compromises with "lite" cooking. They roar around the UK in a motorcycle with sidecar, and in at least one show they change places while going down the road! Very funny, and decadent food at its best. Sadly, one just died a few weeks ago (not Clarissa Dixon-Wright, the other one).

There were two other British shows which were great, one was "The Victorian Garden", which had an ancient gardener passing on his 80-plus years of veg and fruit growing knowledge, shot at the country mansion where he worked for most of his life. A 'spinoff' of this show was "The Victorian Kitchen", where a woman who worked in the same country house as a young woman in the 1920s and 30s came back and did all these impossibly labour-intensive Victorian dishes, using only the technology and implements of the time. They had restored the kitchen to its circa 1920 glory (pre-electricity, pre-gas, etc), and given her a 16 year old assistant, who the old woman would browbeat all the time. It was as much a show about social history as cooking. I mean, making chicken stock took about two days!

[BurnMeUp]

his audience might be a bunch of freaks, but Emeril makes some fantasic food. And he is one of the few cooking people who present recipies that actually work easily.

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

[AuraSeer]

What I want is one of the ovens they have on cooking shows. The host puts a whole turkey in, then walks away and talks to the camera for half a minute. When he then goes back and opens the oven, the turkey is fully cooked!

I wonder why they don't use those in restaurants?

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I'm not a warlock. I'm a witch with a Y chromosome.

[Doobieous]

Wow, i'm surprised this thread is still going. Anyway,one of the cooking shows where the chefs dont make me want to cut them with their knives is "Dessert Parade" with Jaques Torres. That man can make desserts into a wondrous sculptures. One day he made a clown out of mousse and some chocolate. He also demonstrated "croquembouche", absolutely amazing stuff he does. He's also funny :).

[Jahender]

I went to culinary school and the first thing I noticed, was that all the faculty were complete assholes, but for the 1st semester I only had French teachers, so I thought about the French-rude stereotype and that explained it for a while, but for my second semester I had two American teachers and they were complete assholes.

Then I did my intership at a NY restaurant and the executive chef and the head prep (sous) chef were complete assholes, and I started talked to the other students/sous chefs and they told me that virtually 2/3rds of professional chefs are anal-retentive, controlling, manipulative, bastards...it's like the whole culinary culture, to get respect you have to treat your staff like shit and be a complete asshole.

Soon after I terminated the program, got my associates degree and got an office job. My friends that I keep in contact in the industry with have asshole stories about all the big chefs (Charlie Trotter, Jonathon Tower, Wolfgang Puck,...). The only saving grace that I have heard is that most of the up and coming women chefs are completely opposite. Very nice, encouraging and professional.

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The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
George Bernard Shaw