Ummmm...Lesbians.

[relic_11]

Okay, well. I have a friend, we will call her "Jane." Jane is a lesbian. I, personaly, am very hetrosexual, and am confused by one thing. Jane thinks going down on a girl is "icky" (her own wording.) What I want to know is, well, what else IS there! :confused:
Thanks

[Jophiel]

Touching.

[evilbeth]

Well, love, for one thing.

Then there is kissing, fondling, toys, mutual masturbation...the list goes on and on.

[lee]

Well, two womem can lay together so that each has one of the other's leg between their own and embrace each other kissing and groping and rubbing against each other's leg until they come.

[Una Persson]

Most real lesbian sex that I know of seems more along the lines of what lee posted above. Rubbing with the legs is nice, as is manual stimulation. Going down is heavenly, but some couples never do it - snd there doesn't have to be a need for it. Using vibrators is also common, although it is not like in porn - most of the time it's clitoral or labial stimulation. Many don't penetrate except with the fingers. And wild, strap-on sex with nipple clamps and whips probably happens with no more than one couple out of 50.

My favorite way to make love to my SO is for her to sit between my legs, her back to me. I suckle and bite her neck while I manually stimulate her breasts and tummy with one hand, her clitoris and labia with the other. When she comes I bite her neck, pull her nipples, and rub her until she pushes me away.

Hmmmm...think I have to go now...

[Lance Turbo]

Originally posted by Anthracite
Hmmmm...think I have to go now...

I think I have to go now too...

[Lance Turbo]

That didn't take long.

Tahnks Anthracite. High five me!

[ricepad]

Hey, relic_11...why doncha just ask jane?

[Una Persson]

Originally posted by Lance Turbo
That didn't take long.

Tahnks Anthracite. High five me!
Eeeeeeeewwww! Not with that hand!

[Astroboy14]

Don't mean to hijack the thread... but while we're on the topic, why are lesbians such a turn-on for men? I mean from an evolutionary viewpoint (Mr. Winky and I know, from a hormonal viewpoint!). Seems to me that lusting after lesbians would be a drawback to fathering as many children as possible...

[Omniscient]

Una, you're doing this on purpose.......

Re: OP
I agree it sure seems kinda odd, as nice and fulfilling as mutual masturbation and leg grinding is, it seems like a very limited sexual menu. I guess my response question would be, is she a mature practicing lesbian, or just a girl who feels a attraction to other women which she hasn't acted on in the carnal sense. If its the latter then this isn't unusual at all, its not diffeent than a high school girl wrestling with her first dating experiences. She probably could find the prospect of oral sex on a guy icky, and very likely is overwhelmed by the concept of actually being penetrated by a guy. In that case I have little doubt she'll outgrow her immaturity and come to love oral sex, just as most heterosexual couples do as they mature. If she is a chronologically mature lesbian, not only in sexual maturity, but also in the acceptance of her sexuality, and still feels this way I'd presume she had some type of unpleasant experience as a child. In that case her and her partner would probably consider therapy to determine if it is something more than a sexual idiosynchrosy.

In short, it is odd. But I'm sure theres a long list of heterosexual women who recoil at the thought of sexual intercourse as well, leaving the same "huh?" response.

[Centerline]

"Seems to me that lusting after lesbians would be a drawback to fathering as many children as possible..."

Huh? Still works, you know, from an evolutionary point of view. Now...where did I put my club in this cafe?....

[handy]

Im baffled as to why any lesbian gave this question an answer when I don't think it deserves one.

[Tymp]

I’m sure everyone appreciates your judgement of the OP’s worthiness, handy.

[Omniscient]

handy commenting on the worthiness of a post??!?!?!

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em folks, thats the final sign of the apocalypse.

[lee]

Someone did not know something, so they asked a question in General Questions. How is that inappropriate? We are fighting ignorance. I thought the question was not phrased offensively at all.

And sometimes people say things that you don't quite understand, but don't want to ask them directly about. I remember my mother making a remark about making panties for the dog for when she had her period. This raised a bunch of questions that I did not want to ask her over the phone.

[Una Persson]

Originally posted by handy
Im baffled as to why any lesbian gave this question an answer when I don't think it deserves one.
Here's why - because of lee's reasons, and because I fucking felt like it. Am I allowed to do that?

You've made it clear through other comments and offhand remarks that you don't care for me very much handy. Why, I do not know, but please keep these personal matters outside of GQ.

[relic_11]

ricepad, she doesn't know either! She's new to this thang, she just came out recently and hasn't found a nice girl.

[Omniscient]

Una, I don't know if he really dislikes you or not, but from past experience, he just has cranial-rectal inversion and his comments have no basis. Fact is, you can't read into them. I'd save the energy of getting annoyed.

[Green Bean]

The OP was in no way inappropriate. The thread title and OP could have been phrased in a way that had less potential for misunderstanding, but the poster is new. Let's cut her some slack.

Thanks for posting a great question, relic_11. I, too, assumed that oral sex was almost always part of lesbian sex. Now I know better.

Welcome to the SDMB.

[Omniscient]

Funny, I automatically assumed that based on the OP's manner relic_11 was a guy. Now I'm curious. Green Bean, how about we put a $20 on it?

[Freyr]

Two words: STRAP ON

[Irishman]

Omniscient, I checked the profile but didn't see any obvious giveaways. Other than thinking relic_11 isJane. But I try to give the poster the benefit of the doubt on their claims of identity. Not that it matters one bit to me.

I had the same reaction you did, but it was definitely my own personal bias, as I can see now it could be either way. I think it was reading in to the title - the "Ummm" part indicating interest?

Astroboy14, you're assuming that sexual reproduction takes into account the desire of the lesbians to participate. From the standpoint of the male involved, it offers two potentially nubile ladies in compromising positions, allowing twice the spreading of seed. Think bisexual, not lesbians. Nobody told "Mr. Winky" that they aren't interested in him. Also, you see two naked ladies that are presumably attractive rather than one hot chick getting it on with some other fat, hairy jerk. I wanna be the fat, hairy jerk! ;)

"What, lesbians can have sex without dildos?"

[bup]

Astroboy: "but while we're on the topic, why are lesbians such a turn-on for men?"

I know we're all trying to fight ignorance here, but can't
we just let some things be without worrying about why?

[Lizard]

Hey, I just noticed that this thread has 500 views but only 22 posts. That must be some kind of record.

[Zakalwe]

Anthracite

Could you please do me a favor and put some sort of warning and spoiler space on posts like that? I'm sitting here at work and I'm late for a meeting and now there's no way I'm standing up and walking down the hall like this. Jeez, give a guy a little warning, huh? ;)

grem

[labdude]

Originally posted by Anthracite
My favorite way to make love to my SO is for her to sit between my legs, her back to me. I suckle and bite her neck while I manually stimulate her breasts and tummy with one hand, her clitoris and labia with the other. When she comes I bite her neck, pull her nipples, and rub her until she pushes me away.

[/B]

Thanks for the idea. Ya never know where you will learn something new.

[relic_11]

Green Bean and Omniscient, got your bets ready? I am a girl. I am engaged to a lovely boy in the US Navy. I've never had a lesbian experience, but my man literly "learned from lesbians." They taught him every thing there is to know about pleasing a woman. I swear, if I ever meet them... I WILL have a leabian experience, in gratitude.(Joke, but God Bless 'em!)
By the way, thanks Green Bean, it was sweet of you to come to my defense. I AM new to this and it was nice to have some one do that. The first question I asked was first answered kinda rudely, and I felt bad for a while, then thought, fuck 'im. :wally

[Ranma]

I know for sure that not every men are attracted sexually by lesbians. I'm not, and I'm not homosexual either. And anyways, I don't get "sexually attracted" to women. What I mean by that is if I see a very sexy woman, having sex with her won't cross my mind. Love and sexual attraction is two very different things, and people tend to be one way or the other. Remember, love is between the ears, not the legs....

[Goose]

Originally posted by labdude
Originally posted by Anthracite
My favorite way to make love to my SO is for her to sit between my legs, her back to me. I suckle and bite her neck while I manually stimulate her breasts and tummy with one hand, her clitoris and labia with the other. When she comes I bite her neck, pull her nipples, and rub her until she pushes me away.



Thanks for the idea. Ya never know where you will learn something new. [/B]

Ditto.

[andygirl]

One of the things that your friend might need to consider is that... well, for some it is an acquired taste. Girls are taught that "down there" is icky and nasty and smells/tastes like fish (which it does NOT, thankyouverymuch) that when they actually start doing oral sex, they expect it to be bad, so it's kind of a self fufilling prophecy. If that makes any sense.

Also, the girl on the other end might not have the best hygeine. The importance of proper washing can't be stressed enough. I suggest a bath for two. (Easy on the soap, though.)

Nothing's wrong with not enjoying it... but oral sex should be given a chance.

andygirl
who thinks that oral sex is the best thing since... well, lesbians.

[honkytonkwillie]

Originally posted by Anthracite
When she comes I bite her neck, pull her nipples, and rub her until she pushes me away.

It is all so obvious now. This is the part I've been neglecting for all these years.

[Una Persson]

Originally posted by grem0517
Anthracite

Could you please do me a favor and put some sort of warning and spoiler space on posts like that? I'm sitting here at work and I'm late for a meeting and now there's no way I'm standing up and walking down the hall like this. Jeez, give a guy a little warning, huh? ;)

grem

Think unsexy thoughts...
Think unsexy thoughts...
Think unsexy thoughts...

[Homer]

But I'm all ABOUT sexy thoughts!

;)

--Tim

[Green Bean]

Yahoo! I'm rich!

I assumed she was female because she stated that she was heterosexual. In other words, she was saying that she had no personal experience with lesbian sex, and that was why she didn't know the answer to the question. A male could not have personal experience with "real" lesbian sex, so stating that he was heterosexual would be irrelevant.

And now we have evidence that Omniscient is not actually omniscient.

Relic--what was the first question you posted?

[iampunha]

Originally posted by Astroboy14
Don't mean to hijack the thread... but while we're on the topic, why are lesbians such a turn-on for men?


1. Not all men are turned on by lesbians doing whatever.

2. This is a relative thing anyway. Some guys like it for X reason, others for Y . . .

3. Hi Opal!

[Little Nemo]

In order to give this question the proper answer it deserved, I decided it was necessary to conduct some research. I found to my surprise that it is possible to obtain actual filmed footage of lesbians engaged in sexual activity. In fact, I found it would be possible to purchase or rent thousands of hours worth of videotape on this subject. I also discovered volumes of written testimonies from lesbians describing their sexual activities and collections of still photographs of these women engaged in sexual acts. Amazingly, there are even services which allow researchers to call lesbians on the telephone and ask them questions about their sex life. I had no idea this issue was such a major subject of anthropological research.

[Sequela]

This is actually something that has been researched in the psychological literature on sexuality. I don't have the cites handy but I believe it was discussed in a publication of the Society for the Psychological Study of Gay and Lesbian Issues, a division of the APA. Basically, I seem to remember that something like a half to a thrid of straight men reported arousal to videos or pictures of lesbian sexual acts. The authors concluded that the main factor was seeing not one but two women highly aroused then imagining themselves joining in, the two at once scenario.

As to lesbian sexual practices, sensual aspects such as holding, cuddling, caressing and stroking play a large role. While lesbians certainly do have orgasms, (I suspect more regularly than their straight sisters!)sex is not neccessarily race to that end and then its over. It's getting there and enjoying the closeness and intimacy (as well as orgasmic bliss) that counts. So couples use a variety of techniques depending on their needs and preferences.

[Dijon Warlock]

Actually, I'm not sure if it's lesbians having sex so much as just women having sex that men enjoy. If the women are thought of as bi, then the possibility of the guy (which would be me, hopefully) being welcomed to join is there. As for the rationale behind viewing pleasure: I like to see watch beautiful women enjoying sex, but men just turn me off visually. Thus, the appeal of the "girl/girl" scenario. I've never found it any more mysterious than that.

Regards the OP: I, too, would instinctively assume "going down" would be a major part of the repetoire, rather like anal intercourse would almost have to be included in male gay sex...but I guess after reading this thread that it doesn't have to be.

Going down on a girl "icky"? Depends on the girl. Certainly, no-one on this board. ;)

[Dijon Warlock]

Originally posted by Dijon Warlock
I like to see watch beautiful women enjoying sex,

Of course, ahem, what I meant to say was "watch see"...:rolleyes:

[Omniscient]

Back to the OP:

relic, I think you answered you're own question earlier. You said she's new to the whole thing, having just come out recently. Now, I'll presume that she hasn't been participating actively in the closet. Saying all that I imagine she just needs to get over the apprehensiveness of such a intimate act. Based on her maturity level, I'd bet she'd think "ewwww, I'm not putting that penis in my mouth" if she were straight. So, I'd wager another $20 on the fact that once she does find that special girl, or just get drunk and really horny one night, she'll get past the hang up and develop a healthy lust for the activity, just like the rest of us. Well me anyways.

[handy]

I'm all for people asking questions about what they want to know.

Reminds me of hearing people asking deaf people if the deaf person can hear. It would be pretty dumb for the deaf person to even consider answering something like that, duh.

Anthracite, I never referred to you personally in my answer(s). You should read it again.

[Tymp]

[h]handy[/b],

1) You didn’t offer an answer.
2) Some people may feel that they are capable of effectively describing that which their audience does not fully understand for the purpose of dispelling misconceptions and fighting ignorance. The fact that you have been unsuccessful in answering questions about yourself does not in any way indicate that others should abandon educational efforts.
3) Hi impunha!

[Tymp]

I swear that was typed properly. I have simply fallen victim to the evil code gnomes.

[relic_11]

Green Bean
My first post was on the origin of the terms freshman and sophmore. Looking back, the reply wasn't really rude, it was just really clipped. Like 'I'll just answer this newbie's question and get it over with' I grew up reading the Straight Dope books and finding this message board was like finding mecca. I was so happy! Then my first question seemed condcending to me and it was like, whipsh! Down self-esteem! I better now! Now I don't listen to the voices! (joke, too many people believe me when I say that.) :)

[relic_11]

Wait, I meant the REPLY to my first question.

[Zakalwe]

relic_11

Welcome to the SDMB! Sometimes you'll find people giving short answers more for lack of time then anything else. They don't want to not answer your question, but they don;t have time to type out a full length response. Don't sweat it! The first response I recieved here was "Thanks for participating, but you're wrong". Oh well. Lots of cool people here to talk to you, so ignore those that make you feel unwelcome.

Anthracite
Thanks for the hint! Things finally settled down and I was able to go to my meeting. But damn if the subject didn't pop back into my mind about 10:30 last night! That's some mental imagery that's going to stay with me for a while. I guess you can put down as one of those men who is completely aroused by seeing two women making love.

grem

[Ura-Maru]

I seem to remember that something like a half to a thrid of straight men reported arousal to videos or pictures of lesbian sexual acts. The authors concluded that the main factor was seeing not one but two women highly aroused then imagining themselves joining in, the two at once scenario.


This goes onto the pile of the "I could have told you that" studies. :) Though, "Why do you like X" is really not a fair question.

It's also a "safe" fantasy, in that 1) it can't really be acted upon, so it's not a danger to existing relationships, (Much like fantisizing about celebrities, which seems a bit more common with women) and b) it allows the guy the thrill of being kinky, without having to redefine his sexual identity.

I'm actually suprised that more straight women (except for yeoi fans, of course) don't find two men together arousing. But then, the thing that what most of tehm are attracted too most of all is "masculity," whatever that means, which presumably forbids these kind of shenanigans.

Or, short version, I like watching one woman make love, so its not surprising that I should like watching two women make love as well. Sure, they wouldn't let me get involved, but straight women don't let me get involved, anyway, and I like looking at them. :(

--
"Brought to you by MISPWOSO, the Maximegalon Institute for Slowly and Painfully Working Out the Surprisingly Obvious."

[wolfman]

Well as a guy who is an average to above-average consumer of porn I feel somewhat qualified to respond to the question why men are turned on by lesbians. There is nothing to me about lesbians that have a particular fascination, its just that in terms of porn it is the best option. A self-stimulated woman in a porno certainly has its place but often you crave to see that woman driven to writh in pleasure by someone else. That someone else has to be either man or woman(we'll ignore the other options). Quite simply I would rather see another woman in the porno than a guy because guys bodies are(apologies the preferences of straight women and gay dudes) hideously ugly. There are strange subterainian movements and patches of hair of random placement and density, particularly in the butt-crack area. The scrotum for example was certainly not designed by an art major. This odd, bulbous, wrinkled, unsymetrical, hairy and stanky hunk of skin is just not attractive piece of equipment. For example, I could never tape myself in the act with someone because if I was to accidently watch that tape at some later date I would probably be traumatized into becoming a monk. Seeing a naked guy in a porno just completely kills the mood I was trying to get into when I got the porno. Lesbian porn is just so much more enjoyable.

[Una Persson]

wolfman, you are correct, sir!

[relic_11]

Thanks grem0517! I do feel welcome now, believe you me!

[evilbeth]

Originally posted by Ura-Maru

I'm actually suprised that more straight women (except for yeoi fans, of course) don't find two men together arousing.



Count me as a woman who is aroused by people of either gender having sex etc. I have watched and enjoyed male/male porn. It is the erotic nature of sex that is arousing, not so much who is doing it. I know that many porn actors are attractive and that certainly helps. But if all the actors in a porno had to be attractive, people like Ron Jeremy would never have had careers in the industry.

[fierra]

Originally posted by Anthracite
wolfman, you are correct, sir!

He forgot amusing... I usually turn off my sense of humour during sex...(not helped by the fact that Im ticklish & Mark tickles me sometimes by accident & he thinks I'm laughing at him. Poor lamb gets all upset & huffy!)