GOD is not a girl

[Contestant #3]

Some joker here on the SD has taken the handle GOD. GOD tries to answer as though they were the great diety and it is MILDLY amusing, but anyway, I digress...GOD's e-mail address indicates that this person is a female.

I'm not religious, but I can tell you that if a GOD exists, it's not a girl!

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Contestant #3

[Revtim]

Do you mean God would be male, or would be genderless?

I'm of the opinion that if God exists, there's only one, so gender would be meaningless. Why would something that doesn't reproduce sexually have a gender?

[jayron 32]

And... if God were sentient, we would have to assign a pronoun to God... Since, in english, all sentient beings (or things we assign sentience to like dogs, and cars) must take either "he" or "she" as a pronoun, I see no reason why God couldn't be either "He" or "She." So let God take a feminine pronoun. sounds good to me...

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Jason R Remy

"One pill makes you taller, and one pill makes you small, but the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all"
-- Jefferson Airplane White Rabbit (Slick, G. 1966)

[SkeptiJess]

Why not? Has someone done a celestial wienie-check?

BTW, I have enjoyed God's post, even though I am an atheist (no offense, God, okay?).

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Jess
Full of 'satiable curtiosity

[tomndebb]

Of course, GOD is not a girl. . .

GOD is a woman!

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Tom~

[Contestant #3]

According to a best-selling book on the subject, GOD created man in his own image...woman came later as an afterthought and was created from the rib of a man.

So how could GOD possibly be a woman?

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Contestant #3

[GOD]

I always find this argument amusing. I am neither girl nor boy nor man nor woman. I'm GOD. Gender, no gender, both genders, an infinite number of genders...whatever turns you on.

No offense taken, Jess.
I still believe in YOU.

[GOD]

BTW, #3: the popular book's version of what happened is a little misleading. Adam was more of a rough draft.

[lvick]

I've always thought the concept of a monotheistic diety with a bipolar gender was somewhat self contradictory. Why anthropomorphize something that, by definition, is larger than the concept,
Larry

[lvick]

Oh and BTW God, that last post clearly show partisanship, won't do for a supreme being,
Larry

[GOD]

Ivick, you are catching on. I throw contradictory messages out there now and then, just to see what you folks will do with them.

[Revtim]

C3, why would God have a gender? Do you think there are female Gods out there that It's making baby Gods with?

Why would an omnipotent being need help making anything?

[Contestant #3]

Rev,

But GOD does have a gender...just check GOD's e-mail address.

Besides, as I stated above, GOD created man in his own image according to what I've read.

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Contestant #3

[Czarcasm]

I believe that if god has a gender it is female because:
1. The many subtle colors.
2. All of the sounds of nature.
3. The complexity of humans.
4. The obviously superior I.Q.

[Revtim]

Well, I'm not a believer of the bible (or of God for that matter), but even if I were, the statement "GOD created man in his own image" could be interpreted as referring to all of mankind (i.e. the entire race), and not the male gender.

And I'll ask for the third time now: Since gender only exists for sexual reproduction, why would a being that clearly does not sexually reproduce have a gender? What does it do with Its penis?

[Revtim]

Or Its vagina, for those that consider it female?

[Contestant #3]

Yeah Rev, it COULD be interpreted that way, but it also could have been written that way but wasn't...

Besides, GOD created man first...right?

And finally, GOD might need some way to excrete his GODLY urine and a penis is a way of doing that...besides, you can write your name with urine if you have a penis...

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Contestant #3

[Czarcasm]

Contestant #3, perhaps you would like to share with the rest of the group the lovely e-mail I just recieved concerning this topic?

Anyhoo, back on the topic, I have no doubt that the gender of god as shown in the bible might be filtered through the eyes of those who wrote about the subject, and later on through the eyes of translators, church officals, and various politicos.
If some of you are still in need of male gods, the Greek and Roman mythologies have plenty to choose from. For the high testosterone variety, try Norse or Aztec. :).

[GOD]

Assume nothing.

[lvick]

Question everything

[Czarcasm]

Drink anything.

[vern]

And then just go to sleep... oh, sorry. I was just wondering, C3 -- how does God's email address show that "she"'s a female? I looked at it and couldn't see anything that would suggest that.

[The Ryan]

Revtim
Member posted 08-15-1999 08:29 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"And I'll ask for the third time now: Since gender only exists for sexual reproduction, why would a being that clearly does not sexually reproduce have a gender? What does it do with Its penis?"

Screw people over in a really big way? Sorry, I couldn't resist. As for the gender implied by the Bible: ignoring the fact that basing ones beliefs about God on the Bible is a classic example of circular reasoning, there's still the matter of the Bible not being written in English. Since gender is handled in completely different ways in different languages, why does anyone think that they understand what the Bible meant by gender specific terms? And finally, as a feminist Bible pointed out, if the fact that humans were created last implies that they were superior, doesn't the fact that Eve was created last imply that she was superior? If you're going to read one into the Bible, you should read the other.




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-Ryan
" 'Ideas on Earth were badges of friendship or enmity. Their content did not matter.' " -Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

[timmar68]

No, God is a man. I'm convinced because if God was a woman, MEN would be taking Midol, waxing their bodies, and wearing highheels. ;)

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MaryAnn
Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

[Czarcasm]

Sorry MaryAnnQ, you're wrong. If god were a man, who do you think would have gotten the multiple orgasms?

[Gr8Kat]

GOD's e-mail address indicates that this person is a female.

Huh? From TennHippie's other posts, I'd assumed TennHippie was male. Like when he once said, "We southern gentlemen" in my "Guess what, ladies, we're ruining this country" thread. How could I have made that mistake? Oh wait, I know, you're an idiot.

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

[topolino]

Anyhoo, back on the topic, I have no doubt that the gender of god as shown in the bible
might be filtered through the eyes of those who wrote about the subject, and later on
through the eyes of translators, church officals, and various politicos.


Thank you! My thoughts exactly!

[Lissa]

"Let US create man in OUR own image."

He had help. Surely one of the partners in Heavenly Human Manufacturing Enterprises, Inc. is a woman.

[GOD]

My oh my. I certainly wasn't stingy when handing out egos. Why must you all continue to insist that I have human qualities?

[Nickrz]

"Why so glibly assume that the God who presumably created the universe is still running it? It is certainly conceivable that He may have finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate." -- H.L. Menken

This topic belongs in Great Debates.

-- A lesser (but bigger pain in the ass) god

[C K Dexter Haven]

There was a thread on the gender of God (the Deity) in either General Questions or Great Debates. In the original Hebrew text of the Bible, all nouns are either masculine or feminine (as in Latin, French, Spanish, etc.) Most of the words referring to God (God, Lord, Almighty, etc) are indeed masculine, and the masculine pronoun is used. However, the Divine Presence -- God's imminent presence on earth -- is Shekhinah,which is feminine.

But this thread isn't about God the Deity, it is about GOD the member/poster. (That's why it started in BBQ Pit, Nick.)

Unless... wait.... Con#3, are you suggesting that GOD-the-poster is NOT really God-the-Deity, but just using "GOD" as a screen name? Why, that's -- that's -- that's --- deceitful! even lying! Surely none of our posters would do that!

And, it's a frightening concept, that someone might use a screen name different from their true identity? That could mean that Satan-the-poster isn't the real Satan? Or that sunbear isn't really an ursine? or that wossname isn't really a contestant? Where would it all end? Could someone even pretend to be Cary Grant, and not... no, impossible. That would be going too far.

[jayron 32]

According to a best-selling book on the subject, GOD created man in his own
image...woman came later as an afterthought and was created from the rib of a man.


Then that best-selling book you are reading isn't the bible. In one story, God(Yahweh:hebrew-singular, masculine) creates man first. In another story God(elohim:hebrew-plural, neuter) simply creates man and woman at the same time. Seems to me you've got two different stories to choose from here. I like the one where he creates man and woman at the same time. Genesis is quite obviously two completely different naratives on the same subject.

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Jason R Remy

"One pill makes you taller, and one pill makes you small, but the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all"
-- Jefferson Airplane White Rabbit (Slick, G. 1966)

[Sassy]

And, it's a frightening concept, that someone might use a screen name different from their true identity? That could mean that Satan-the-poster isn't the real Satan? Or that sunbear isn't really an ursine? or that wossname isn't really a contestant? Where would it all end? Could someone even pretend to be Cary Grant, and not... no, impossible. That would be going too far.

Just wanted to assure you that I really am Sassy...


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The reason gentlemen prefer blondes is that there are not enough redheads to go around.

[lvick]

Gosh, and I really am Larry, and I really am a man. And at least my profile doesn't contain a web page link that leads nowhere (hint hint)
Larry

[GOD]

CKDext: Satan is NOT Satan? Boy is my heavenly face red! I sent some lightning bolts his way; I hope I didn't hurt the poor guy.

Jess: This was all worth while just to hear the phrase "celestial weinie-check."

Bless you all. Even you, #3.

[Contestant #3]

Thanks GOD, but I didn't sneeze...

Nice move changing your e-mail address like that...used to be edselgirl...

I guess GOD works in mysterious ways...

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Contestant #3

[kellibelli]

ok, reality check folks...god is a male, menstrual cramp, childbirth, etc...
and the multiple orgasms was a good arguement...
here is another one:
what if we women dont really have multiples, we just SAY that to fuck with your heads!
tee hee.
actually I am an agnostic, so I dont really know if I saw gods posts or not.

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"give me ambiguity...or give me something else.."

[GOD]

It is never a sin to say "I don't know."

[lvick]

or "I don't care."

Okay, ivick. If I see you lying in the street, bleeding profusely, I will walk by and say "I don't care." If you ask me to call 911, I will say "I guess you didn't hear me. I don't care!"

Sure, it's within my "rights."
But is it RIGHT????

[OpalCat]

According to a best-selling book on the subject, GOD created man in his own image...woman came later as an afterthought and was created from the rib of a man. So how could GOD possibly be a woman?
Besides, as I stated above, GOD created man in his own image according to what I've read.

Etc etc etc

<blink>NEWS FLASH!!!!</blink>
In today's late-breaking news, this just arrived on my desk: it seems that there just might be ... let me make sure I'm reading this correctly... yes, it says there might be OTHER religions out there, besides Christianity! It also says that many people may have their own ideas about god separate from any established religion. Wow. Imagine that! Now back to your scheduled thread....

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&gt;^,,^&lt;
"Cluemobile? You've got a pickup..."
OpalCat's site: http://fathom.org/opalcat
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions (http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)

[Czarcasm]

OpalCat For Goddess in 2000!

[moriah]

C#3 posted in his cocksure manner:

I'm not religious, but I can tell you that if a GOD exists, it's not a girl!

The pretentious twit further trolled:

According to a best-selling book on the subject, GOD created man in his own image...woman came later as an afterthought and was created from the rib of a man.

C#3, if you're "not religious", then why are you quoting the bible as a source? Wouldn't you have to be religious to use that as proof?

Also, you need to actually open it up and read what the bible says:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Gen 1:27, KJV, emphasis added)

'Man' refers to the human race. So does 'him', the pronoun for 'man' (in English, we would use the plural, but Hebrew uses the singular as part of their idiomatic expression). The author then specifies that 'man' (the human race) is made into two genders, and refers to the two genders in the plural, using 'them.'

Therefore, the argument that God is male because he made 'man' in his image is fallacious. The author is clearly using the generic 'man' which is male and female. They are in God's image.

Now, being the trolling jerk that you are, you will undoubtedly rely on the Christian belief (though you're not religious, you lying sack) of the divinity of Jesus to prove that God is male. Now just because God became enfleshed (incarnated) as a male human, doesn't prove that God is a male. You need a body to be male. God had to pick a male or female body. Just because he picked a male gender doesn't mean that God in God's self is male. Jesus says in that same book:

And Jesus answering said unto them, "The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. Neither can they die any more for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection." (Luke 20: 34-36, KJV)

Jesus is saying that there is no marriage and the sexual pairing that it implies in our resurrected bodies. It is almost as if we will become genderless, or transcend gender in heaven -- just like God or the angels.

In fact, one can argue that the risen Christ transcends gender as St. Paul implies:

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. (Gal 3:27-28, KJV)

And, if you're going to use religious belief (of which you claim to have none, but you nevertheless want to argue belief, you troublemaking dolt) to claim that God is male, let's check in with the official position of the largest Christian denomination, Roman Catholicism in The Catechism of the Catholic Church:

III. "MALE AND FEMALE HE CREATED THEM"

Equality and difference willed by God

369 Man and woman have been created, which is to say, willed by God: on the one hand, in perfect equality as human persons; on the other, in their respective beings as man and woman. "Being man" or "being woman" is a reality which is good and willed by God: man and woman possess an inalienable dignity which comes to them immediately from God their Creator.[240] Man and woman are both with one and the same dignity "in the image of God". In their "being-man" and "being-woman", they reflect the Creator's wisdom and goodness.

370 In no way is God in man's image. He is neither man nor woman. God is pure spirit in which there is no place for the difference between the sexes. But the respective "perfections" of man and woman reflect
something of the infinite perfection of God: those of a mother and those of a father and husband.[241]

[240] Cf. Gen 2:7, 22.
[241] Cf. Is 49:14-15; 66: 13; Ps 131:2-3; Hos 11:1-4; Jer 3:4- 19.


C#3, if you were religious, it would be a scandal.

[GOD]

You folks are beginning to use your heads!
I knew there was a reason I had you evolve...

[GOD]

BTW, I wouldn't use "best-selling" as a criterion for authoritative wisdom. The best-selling periodical is TV Guide.

[BenDover]

"BTW, I wouldn't use "best-selling" as a criterion for authoritative wisdom. The best-selling periodical is TV Guide."

Certainly my choice for authoritative wisdom!

[Contestant #3]

Bite me Moriah. GOD is a man...he's TennHippie and he lives of course in Tennessee.

P.S. I've got your "cocksure" right here!

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Contestant #3

[GOD]

Question everything.

Now I know how Brian felt.


Brian: "I'm NOT the Messiah, I'm NOT the Messiah!"
voice in crowd: "Only the TRUE Messiah would deny that he is the Messiah."
Brian: "All right, then. I AM the Messiah!"
Multitude: "HE IS THE MESSIAH!"

[Shirley Ujest]

I dunno 'bout you, but one day MINDING my own business eating lunch in a crowded deli, I overheard something really funny, sexist and racist. I didn't say it...don't flame me, I'm just sharing what made me spit out my drink.

"I'm convinced that God is a black woman on her first day on the job off of welfare."

[Mojo]

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that, according to the new e-mail addy, GOD is a AOL user?

[Polycarp]

Mojo...that's OK. Remember, He checked out Sodom first, too!

[Czarcasm]

Can we then hope for the results? :).

[Eissclam]

Hey TennHippie -- I just noticed that you are from K-town. I'm an Oak Ridge boy myself.

If you are, as C#3 contends, God, I am glad to see that God is a Vol.

Eissclam

[Polycarp]

GOD (the poster) said:

I throw contradictory messages out there now and then, just to see what you folks will do with them.

Just like your predecessor? Must be it goes with the name! ;)

[GOD]

predecessor?

[speakeasy]

Back to the original subject, I don't suppose it has crossed your radar screen that god might take a gender just so he / she could take part in the greatest game ever invented.
Why should an omnipotent omniscient being sit on the sidelines while the rest of us get laid? Think about it, god would be able to hot on command (omnipotent) and would know right where it feels real good (omniscent).
Boogie on down! Maybe I do feel the power after all.....

[Nickrz]

What a stupid thread.
Mere mental masturbation.

[tracer]

speakeasy wrote:

Why should an omnipotent omniscient being sit on the sidelines while the rest of us get laid? Think about it, god would be able to hot on command (omnipotent)

I must not be watching enough pornographic movies.

I have never before heard "hot" used as a verb.

I have. As in "you-uns hot not be a-thinkin bout stuff lak thet."

[GOD]

Remember that I am all. At any given moment, I'm experiencing millions of orgasms.
And that's on Earth alone.

[coffeecat]

Hindus 10, Christians 0.

[Czarcasm]

Let's get back to the original question.
Here are some reasons god is NOT a woman.
1. Because he had Noah build an ark with no windows.
2. Because He never apologized for anything, and He never said please and thank you.
3. Because He used fire, flood and famine to get his point across. He never said it with flowers.
4. Because He always picked the boys for His teams.
5. Because He turned water into wine. A woman would have turned it into chocolate.
6. Because He was born in a barn.
7. Because He wants ALL our attention ALL the time.
8. Because He let Solomon have so many wives.
9. Because He told women to obey their husbands, AND......
10. Because He says He's GOD!

That's very amusing and all, so I'll play along. Just for the sake of argument:
1. Would a man get the job done in 7 days?
2. Look at a man's body; now look at a woman's body. Which is the sacred image?
3. A woman would get jealous of us worshipping nonexistant gods.
4. The rainbow. A man would stop with Red and Blue.
5. Multiple orgasms and unlimited access.
6. Would a man make a fuss over what you ate and when you ate it?
7. Stars. Who's counting?
8. Everything in Nature is circular, spherical, or cyclical. Female.
9. God never speaks Truth directly. "You should know. If you have to ask, just never mind."
10. Love is more important than sex, power, money, etc. Love.

[GOD]

I told you before: I'm the best of both worlds. Consider me bicelestial.

[GOD]

And multilingual...now that is fun for all concerned!