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brickbacon
03-23-2006, 11:50 PM
I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 3 months. She feels as though I should have introduced her to my parents already. I am not avoiding doing so, it's just that I don't talk to my parents about my relationships. When do most people introduce the SO to their parents?

Hirundo82
03-23-2006, 11:57 PM
It depends. How far away do your parents live from you or your girlfriend? If it is less than a couple hours drive, I would say she is not being unreasonable. On the other hand, if they live across the country I would say that a year or more could be expected, depending on circumstances.

Of course, if she is asking you about it, it is probably worth it to take her to meet them if it is not a huge trip, just to keep her happy.

FWIW, my ex-gf didn't meet my parents until we had been dating about 3 months as well, and they lived in the same town. I think that 3 months is enough time to evaluate whether someone is worth taking to meet your parents. YMMV.

Misnomer
03-24-2006, 12:13 AM
I haven't introduced an SO to my parents since college. :D

That said, though, I'm not very close to either parent, and I live 50 miles away from them so I don't see them very often. I usually don't even mention that I'm seeing someone until it's been a month or two.

brickbacon
03-24-2006, 12:37 AM
It depends. How far away do your parents live from you or your girlfriend? If it is less than a couple hours drive, I would say she is not being unreasonable.

About a 3 hour drive.

Kalhoun
03-24-2006, 05:45 AM
I introduce people to my dad if I find them interesting...even if they're not permanent relationship material. You may have a different relationship with your folks. Offhand, it sounds like a 3-hour trip implies a sense of permanency in your relationship. I guess you need to go with your gut.

FairyChatMom
03-24-2006, 07:10 AM
My folks met my husband about 2 weeks after we got married. Which was about 6 weeks after we started dating. They lived 800 miles away and we got there as soon as we could!

I met his folks sometime in the 4-week dating phase, but they also found out about the marriage after the fact. The day after.

Our daughter is now living 800 miles from us, and we met her current squeeze a couple of months after they started dating - they drove here for Thanksgiving.

Kalhoun
03-24-2006, 07:12 AM
I introduce people to my dad if I find them interesting...even if they're not permanent relationship material. You may have a different relationship with your folks. Offhand, it sounds like a 3-hour trip implies a sense of permanency in your relationship. I guess you need to go with your gut.
I made this sound like I'm currently dating. Not so. Happily married. This was how I handled it back in my single days.

Hello Again
03-24-2006, 10:40 AM
Heh. My parents met my SO last Spring, after we had been seeing each other about 5 years. Do I win a prize?

During that time we lived a 10-12 hour drive from my parents, and they do not have any way to put us up together when my brother is also home (there's one guest room) as in the case of Thanksgiving or Passover when the family all gets together. They would be insulted if I stayed in a hotel, besides which there aren't any within 45 minutes of where they live, not to mention, I can't afford that. And finally, its stressful enough spending more than 48 hours with my parents, without having the pressure of Boyfriend Evaluation as well. Neither of us were exactly marking the event on our calendar with joyful expectation.

Finally, it was getting ridiculous. We found a solution to the where-to-stay problem by staying with a close friend who lives down the street and has plenty of space. As expected, my dad gave him the crappiest possible prep job as a test (he had to de-leaf 20 or so raw artichokes) which he passed in good humor. My brother was a real help. It all worked out. Now he's an expected figure at family gatherings.

SmellMyWort
03-24-2006, 11:55 AM
My wife met my parents about 2 weeks after we started dating, but only because we happened to run into them at a public function. I knew they would be there, but hadn't talked to them about meeting up or anything. I think the first informal meeting made the second meeting under more formal circumstances much easier for her.

It sounds like in her mind the two of you are serious enough that she deserves a formal meeting. If you don't want to worry about a weekend stay (dealing with sleeping arrangments and such), maybe suggest a Sunday brunch or something where your parent can meet the two of you half way.

Good luck.

MrJackboots
03-24-2006, 03:34 PM
I generally refuse to introduce my girlfriends and parents. If I ever have a fiancée, okay, they'll meet her within two or three days of that.

Of course, this says more about my relationship with my parents than anything, so take it with a kilo of salt or so.

Lionne
03-24-2006, 05:44 PM
For me, it is whenever the next family gathering takes place, if my SO shows an interest in meeting them. Be it a birthday, anniversay, graduation or just a barbecue, that seems like a good time to intorduce him to the gang, as well as get their opinions on him.
It could be two weeks, could be two months. YMMV

Logan 5
03-24-2006, 06:36 PM
I don't think I ever waited any specific time with any of my past girlfriends, it was just whenever. Sometimes it was the same week we started dating other times it was months and there were a couple that never met my folks. If you have no problem with having them meet, then why wait?

pravnik
03-24-2006, 06:55 PM
With me, it's always been as soon as they catch us in the sack together.

anu-la1979
03-24-2006, 07:12 PM
When I'm certain my dad will shave and get out of his regular wife beater + boxer shorts outfit and their barrel of felines will be locked in the basement. It's tough being descended from crazy-eyed eccentrics, no need to make it patently obvious until the relationship is all nice and legal and they're stuck with me.

lezlers
03-24-2006, 09:29 PM
With me, it's usually when my parents start bugging me about it. Which is typically about 3-6 months into it, depending on how serious we're sounding at the time. Not that I don't love and adore my parents, it's just the fact that I've got to brace the newest victim and hope they don't gasp out loud at the pig sty that is their home and try to ignore my step-fathers often way-too-personal 20 question games.

When my current SO met them (they came up here, so I didn't have to worry about the house until later) my stepdad probably said at least five times "wow, lezlers really likes you!!!!"

:rolleyes:

Tamryne
03-25-2006, 02:41 AM
Since I go to college 30 minutes from home (same city, opposite corner) my parents met my boyfriend before we even officially announced that we were together. I am close with my parents, so I try and get them to meet the boyfriend within a few weeks of us going out. From experience, if they have doubts about him then odds are I should listen because usually they are right.

Little Plastic Ninja
03-25-2006, 09:57 AM
With me, it's usually when my parents start bugging me about it. Which is typically about 3-6 months into it, depending on how serious we're sounding at the time. Not that I don't love and adore my parents, it's just the fact that I've got to brace the newest victim and hope they don't gasp out loud at the pig sty that is their home and try to ignore my step-fathers often way-too-personal 20 question games.

When my current SO met them (they came up here, so I didn't have to worry about the house until later) my stepdad probably said at least five times "wow, lezlers really likes you!!!!"

:rolleyes:

....are ...you ...me? :confused: :eek: :D

I haven't dated in about three years, but if I was seriously dating someone I'd give it somewhere between three and six months too, depending.

Shakes
03-26-2006, 07:01 AM
Heh, last thanksgiving I was "dating" a stripper. We had already agreed that our relationship was more of a "friends with benifits" type thing than it was an actuall romance.

That being said; I did like this girls company and I knew she didn't have anywhere to go for the holidays so I invited her to come with me to my parents house.

Over the course of our stay there my Mom asked this girl what she did for a living and she, (my GF) flat out told her.

*caveat: I was completely ready to lie for this girl just to save HER the embarrassment. But whatever.

My Mom about had a heart attack. I about bit a hole through my bottom lip to keep from laughing so hard.

To my Mother's defence, she did do her best to keep her composure, (as did everybody else that was sitting at the table) I mean, she didn't go off on the girl talking about hell and brimstone or anything. She Just responded with: *Gulp* "Oh, really?" (this all said while her pupils were dialated to the size of pancakes.)

Me and my uncles still get quite a few chuckles out of that.

So for me, obviously, I don't really think of how serious the relationship is before I would introduce them.

Huerta88
03-26-2006, 10:28 AM
Heh. My parents met my SO last Spring, after we had been seeing each other about 5 years. Do I win a prize?
No, sorry, you do not. 6.5 yrs.

I had a (somewhat) good reason. My parents live about a three hour flight away. And, I only get to see them a couple times a year in any event. And, they're not really set up for visitors (they're conservative enough, too, that separate bedrooms would be a necessity).

IME women place a great premium on the meeting the parents (and meeting the friends, and sundry other ritualistic milestone occasions) that men don't. Also IME, they begin to press (nag) after not much more than six months on this issue. While my parents and I get along great, I don't burden them with unnecessary (viz., any) personal information. N.B. that telling the GF "Meet you? They don't even know you exist!" is not as effective strategy as, logically, it ought to be in countering the nagging on this point.