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View Full Version : Dammit!! If ya' don't want me starring at your boobs; don't put glitter on them!!


Shakes
03-23-2006, 11:00 PM
So I stopped by the pub toninght. It wasn't very crowded so me and the bartender spent a lot of time just talking to each other.

The bartender herself is very well endowed upstairs. Not only that, but she was wearing a low cut top with that body glitter stuff sprinked generously accross her breast region..

So I'm talking to this girl, making a geniune conscious effort to look her in the eye as I'm talking to her. The only problem was, as I'm talking to her, I kept getting this shimmer out of the corner of my eye commanding me to look down towards her "girly" region from which the body glitter was emminating.

Now let me tell you something: It's hard enough even WITH OUT the body glitter to maintian eye contact when you ladies are wearing the low cut tops. But FCOL when you put the glitter on; all bets are off!!

Jeez!! I'm just a man fer christ sake!

So anyway, I guess I took one stare too many or I took one stare too long because this girl actually had the nerve to tell me: "Um, SHAKES. My eyes are up here." (points to her face)

Pbbbts!! This is CLEARLY her fault!!



*disclaimer: In case it isn't obvious, this thread was meant to be taken in good humor.

Least Original User Name Ever
03-23-2006, 11:06 PM
i don't necessarily take it in jest.

i think it's damned serious, brother.
i'm not sure what it is, but people want to put on airs. people want to look one way and then be treated differently. for example, you have your stereotypical white-guy-dressing-like-a-black-guy, but he wants to be taken seriously in a place of business (where he works, mind you) and gets upset when he can't dress the way he wants to.

very shitty example, i know.

i suppose the woman analogy would be better, although this particular time and place is dicey (i almost said it was sticky). this bartender makes good tips, and i'm sure she wears the cleavage shirt and the glitter to get that attention to make more money. nothing wrong with that. you were just talking to her as a civilian or as a friend, not as a patron. that cleavage wasn't meant for you.

for the girl on the street, though. if you don't want a guy looking at it, then cover it up/don't put loads of attention towards it.
she did this because of her occupation, not even because of the attention.

(women, line up and swing at me, now)

Shakes
03-23-2006, 11:17 PM
Er, Mods if you see this: I meant it for MPSIMS.

Sorry about that.

Sierra Indigo
03-23-2006, 11:21 PM
for the girl on the street, though. if you don't want a guy looking at it, then cover it up/don't put loads of attention towards it.

(women, line up and swing at me, now)

I'm a woman, and I agree with it totally. If you want people looking at your boobs, wear your low cut tops and shake those puppies. Bring a little joy to the world. But if you're going to get offended every time someone's eyes stray south of your face as you're jiggling past (or every time someone pipes up with "Hey, I can see nipples!". Yes I'm talking to you, girl in the city who jiggled past with aureolas a-showin' over her *ahem* "neckline" and all and then got offended when I pointed it out), then you need to put 'em away.

Magiver
03-23-2006, 11:42 PM
I'm a woman, and I agree with it totally. If you want people looking at your boobs, wear your low cut tops and shake those puppies. Bring a little joy to the world. But if you're going to get offended every time someone's eyes stray south of your face as you're jiggling past (or every time someone pipes up with "Hey, I can see nipples!". Yes I'm talking to you, girl in the city who jiggled past with aureolas a-showin' over her *ahem* "neckline" and all and then got offended when I pointed it out), then you need to put 'em away. I'd say it's a given that Chesty Larue wants some attention. There's sport in that situation: when a woman does everything but hold your head to her chest and then gets pissed when you complement the librarian across the bar, in the darkly lit corner, wearing 3 layers of clothing and no makeup.

Hung Mung
03-23-2006, 11:42 PM
Yeah, I've never had patience for the ladies who go to great lengths to show off what they've got...and then act like Gorgons when they catch you looking.

Actual exchange between me and one Hideous Gorgon at a bar:
I'm at a table with two buddies. There is a table of attractive ladies nearby, at which we are directing quite a bit of attention. One of these ladies is wearing a low-cut blouse. She is amply gifted. I suppose she caught us looking a few times and took umbrage with us. She walks up to our table and:

Hideous Gorgon: Do you see something you like?
(I should add that this was not coy, nor was it sarcastic. It was openly, drunkenly hostile. It was nasty. Fuck her.)

Me: No, and if you don't like us looking you can stuff those puppies under a sweatshirt. Beat it.
(Then I made sure smoke got in her face. Ah, college.)

She left us alone after that. Thankfully.

Sierra Indigo
03-23-2006, 11:53 PM
I never got my invitation to the Girls Club™. It must have got lost in the mail. But I was wondering, those girls who do put the sweater puppies on display, then get all "Don't you stare at my boobs!" when people's eyes wander where they are wont to do, are they playing some kind of power game? It's always seemed kind of head-trippish to me. Like waving a piece of string in front of a cat's nose, then smacking it on the head when it gives an experimental bat at the wiggly thing you're wiggling at it.

Snooooopy
03-24-2006, 12:15 AM
So anyway, I guess I took one stare too many or I took one stare too long because this girl actually had the nerve to tell me: "Um, SHAKES. My eyes are up here." (points to her face)

Pbbbts!! This is CLEARLY her fault!!

Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Carmen Electra asked Homer to look in her eyes instead of at her chest and he quickly responded, "I've made my choice."

AHunter3
03-24-2006, 12:31 AM
Meh.

I get all the BoyScout credits for not ogling the boobage. Actually, I do ogle quite a bit, but it's all the region more or less between your two front jeans pockets. Do you notice? (No one seems to. I'm not sure why).

TokyoBayer
03-24-2006, 12:34 AM
I saw a special on boob surgery and the bar tender said her tips were directly proportional to the amount of tits showing.

My guess is that you had gotten reclassified from a "tip provider" to a "fun conversation" and she wanted you to react as such.

However, the reason guys give better tips to women with something flashing is the same reason that it is impossible to ignore them when they get out, especially after a beer or 12.

picunurse
03-24-2006, 12:43 AM
So, what you are all saying is that women must wear approved clothing if they don't want to be objectified?
I'm well past the age of oogling, but I was once quite ooglable. No matter how I dressed, I expected to be treated with respect.
Is there a difference between this and blaming a rape victim because she was dressed provocatively?
Grow up, boys, and look the girl in the eye!

Whack-a-Mole
03-24-2006, 12:56 AM
From the movie Roxanne: (seems suitable for this thread...you can substitute other body parts as you like)


- Have you met C.D. yet?


- No, not yet.


- There is something you should know.


- He has a big nose, right?


- Whatever you do, do not stare.


- Come on, I will not stare.



- None of us would, but you get there and you feel yourself not staring.

Then it seems obvious you are not staring, so you will look...and you will think..."I am staring".

You think, "this is ridiculous", so you take a good look, and you think: "I am looking at a man who, when he washes his face, loses the bar of soap".


- Thank you, guys.


- Do not say we did not warn you.

AHunter3
03-24-2006, 12:56 AM
Well, I endeavor to not be caught at it. (Relatively easy, given my chosen ogle-target-area, see above post). To ogle and not be caught at it is a private thing unto one's self. To ogle and be discernable in doing it is to interact with the female person and, pardon me, but the mere fact that you're cut as all get-out doesn't normally translate over into you being good company or anything. Or vice versa. If I'm going to actually break the ice and interact with you flirtatiously, there's got to be a good reason. Looks ain't ever gonna be it.

Marley23
03-24-2006, 01:22 AM
So, what you are all saying is that women must wear approved clothing if they don't want to be objectified?
No. In so far as any conversation about cleavage with a bunch of guys can have subtleties, the point here is more subtle. Common sense says to me that you can't expose a lot of cleavage, dump glitter on it, and then get on a guy's case for looking. Doing those things draws attention to them. There's the legal concept of an attractive nuisance...

I'm not offering that as a blank check for ogling or gross behavior. I don't look too much and I don't get caught. But I do think a little common sense needs to be applied to this question of etiquette.

Shakes
03-24-2006, 01:23 AM
So, what you are all saying is that women must wear approved clothing if they don't want to be objectified?
I'm well past the age of oogling, but I was once quite ooglable. No matter how I dressed, I expected to be treated with respect.
Is there a difference between this and blaming a rape victim because she was dressed provocatively?
Grow up, boys, and look the girl in the eye!

OH, come on now. This is hardly the same thing. If you put a big red flashing light along with a big pinty sing towards your breast; I think it's a little harder to ccritisize a man for taking a peak.

dnooman
03-24-2006, 02:06 AM
So, what you are all saying is that women must wear approved clothing if they don't want to be objectified?
I'm well past the age of oogling, but I was once quite ooglable. No matter how I dressed, I expected to be treated with respect.
Is there a difference between this and blaming a rape victim because she was dressed provocatively?
Grow up, boys, and look the girl in the eye!
Show me how trendy women's wear is geared towards comfort only.

I look all girls and women in the eye. The few times that I look down, are usually forced by circumstance.

Cleavage = look here. Always.

Chicks showing cleavage that don't want people looking can go to hell.

If looking is so bad, stop making us do it.

Meh.

Mac Guffin
03-24-2006, 03:04 AM
They are my eyes. I will do with them as I please. I won't tell you what to do with your body parts, please don't tell me what to do with mine.

BlackKnight
03-24-2006, 03:23 AM
Is there a difference between this and blaming a rape victim because she was dressed provocatively?
Well, there's the fact that rape hurts people but looking at them doesn't.

Maastricht
03-24-2006, 03:59 AM
Sure, the girls doing the "lookie here - don't look, you perv!" are hypocrits. But isn't hypocrisy the spice of the American sex-life? From my Dutch perspective, there is a LOT of scarcity, danger and damnation surrounding American sex. And who can resist a juicy taboo? Over here it's just a nice thing you do, or you don't. Shrug. ….Sometimes I envy you guys across the Pond.

Come on, SHAKES, admit it: her boobs wouldn't be half as attractive if there was no danger of being caught, right? She's doing you a favour!

Shakes
03-24-2006, 04:07 AM
Sure, the girls doing the "lookie here - don't look, you perv!" are hypocrits. But isn't hypocrisy the spice of the American sex-life? From my Dutch perspective, there is a LOT of scarcity, danger and damnation surrounding American sex. And who can resist a juicy taboo? Over here it's just a nice thing you do, or you don't. Shrug. ….Sometimes I envy you guys across the Pond.

Come on, SHAKES, admit it: her boobs wouldn't be half as attractive if there was no danger of being caught, right? She's doing you a favour!


I have to say, I'm rather liking your traing of thought!

Frank
03-24-2006, 05:54 AM
Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS

don't ask
03-24-2006, 06:09 AM
Reminds me of one of my favourite T-shirts, worn by a very shapely woman who was walking down the steps at the train station as I was walking up. The legend, across her chest, simply read stop staring at my tits.

DianaG
03-24-2006, 06:33 AM
Cleavage = look here. Always.

Chicks showing cleavage that don't want people looking can go to hell.

If looking is so bad, stop making us do it.

Meh.
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me. I'm wearing this shirt because it's a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. :p

Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?

Shakes
03-24-2006, 06:50 AM
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me. I'm wearing this shirt because it's a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. :p

Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?

I'd like very much to answer you, but I'm too busy starring at your tits. :p

Tabby_Cat
03-24-2006, 06:53 AM
I'm sorry, did the boob locomotive device say something? I didn't quite catch it.



:p

Malacandra
03-24-2006, 06:57 AM
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me. I'm wearing this shirt because it's a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. :p

Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?

Believe me, my obsession with your breasts is in no way infantile. I'm not hoping that they will lactate, and I care far more about whether you have a hawwt rack than any pre-potty-trained person would.

By "flattering" do you mean you put it on because it shows off your tits, and you like calling men on it? :D

clairobscur
03-24-2006, 07:01 AM
I never got my invitation to the Girls Club™. It must have got lost in the mail. But I was wondering, those girls who do put the sweater puppies on display, then get all "Don't you stare at my boobs!" when people's eyes wander where they are wont to do, are they playing some kind of power game? It's always seemed kind of head-trippish to me. Like waving a piece of string in front of a cat's nose, then smacking it on the head when it gives an experimental bat at the wiggly thing you're wiggling at it.


I personnally always assumed that these displays were intended to caught the eye of guys they could be interested in, and that they get all offended when the beholder doesn't belong to the desired category. So, that if you're a young cute boy they'll be pleased, but will expect old, out of shape blokes to look the other way and will be pissed off if they don't.


Though I happen to not have that much of an interest in boobs and cleevages, so that's rarely a problem for me (though I would mention that even when you're not interested, eyes tend to slip towards proeminently displayed boobs, just because they're there).

CalMeacham
03-24-2006, 07:03 AM
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me.

"Infantile" it's not, or women would be just as obsessed. I've written often enough on this Board about my ideas on the origins of breast-obsession. It's hard-wired into us guys. It's a very big deal for us. Very often a glance isn't anywhere near enough. And a star-spangled bosom would rate heavy interest even among the non-obsessed.

That said, any guy with even an ounce of class ought to at least make an effort not to talk to the boobs.





I like the button that says:

"Pay no attention to these Breasts

These aren't the Breasts you're looking for.

You can go about your business.

Move along."

Bear_Nenno
03-24-2006, 07:04 AM
Why do women get mad when you stare at any part of them? I dont get it. If girls spent all day staring at my ass or the huge bulge in my pants (I mean... if there was a huge bulge in my pants), that would not upset me at all. I would just build my self esteem. Maybe even my ego.

Dangerosa
03-24-2006, 07:29 AM
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me. I'm wearing this shirt because it's a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. :p

Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?


I can agree with that. Except when the woman in question is a bartender. Who is wearing a lowcut shirt and glitter across her chest knowing (probably very conciously) that this is going to increase her tips for the night. She is putting on a show for which she expects to be compensated. She doesn't want people noticing, no glitter, more discrete tops - and quite possibly a change in career is in order.

Something about this is a little like working a pole and saying no one knows what color your eyes are. Being a supermodel and saying "no one appreciates my intellegence." Or for that matter, being a physicist and hiding behind thick glasses and a dowdy lab coat and saying "no one every sees me as pretty." Everyone is deserving of respect. In some professions, we respect the amount of cleveage you have. In that case, staring at it is showing it respect.

It isn't OK to talk to my chest at work, but the chances I'm actually showing clevage at work with glitter spread across it are nil. If I show up at a party with a low cut tight shirt and glitter spread across my chest, I'm going to be insulted if you don't talk to it.

DianaG
03-24-2006, 07:51 AM
By "flattering" do you mean you put it on because it shows off your tits, and you like calling men on it? :D
No, I mean that it minimizes my 340 lb frame, and hides the enormous Basketcase-like tumor on my left side. Still hot, boys? :D

Dangerosa, I agree with everything you said. If I'm showing loads of sparkly cleavage, of course I expect people to look. But there are plenty of guys who'll talk to your chest if you're wearing anything other than a parka. The fact is, what would be a modest V neck on a B-cup is going to be just a bit cleavagy (and I do mean a bit, not a full on tittie show) on a D cup. Does that mean I should restrict myself to crewnecks? Hell no.

Tripler
03-24-2006, 07:53 AM
You know, I genuinely feel bad for these women. I really do . . .

When I put "Li'l Trip & The Twins" into my banana hammock and go to the beach, is it not enough that I have to constantly remind you that 'my eyes are up here'? I mean, true that my intellect is as large as my. . . vocabulary, but I am not that imposing of a man to insist you keep staring down at my feet. C'mon now. Be big about it, and just look me square in the eye when talking to me.

Tripler
Yes, I'm gifted. . . in smarts.

Nic2004
03-24-2006, 07:54 AM
If a guy were to walk into a bar in a push-up jock strap and purple cod piece I'd assume he was wishing for women to stare.
If a woman walks into a place with a butt-floss bathing suit I expect there may be one or two that will steal a look at her butt.
If a teenage dyes their hair pink and orange and spikes it straight up I'd assume they were trolling for a reaction.
If you don't want to go fishing, don't put a shiny lure on the bait.

CalMeacham
03-24-2006, 07:55 AM
No, I mean that it minimizes my 340 lb frame, and hides the enormous Basketcase-like tumor on my left side. Still hot, boys?


There's a famous story about that -- some (supposedly -- I've never checked) medieval or earlier story about a man obsessed with a Roman woman's chest, until she opened her dress and showed it to be a tumor. It was a piece intended to show how flimsy and fleeting were the fleshly delights of this world.



Whereas the real male reply to your original response is -- "Yeah, for the side without the tumor".



Men are incorrigible.

The King of Soup
03-24-2006, 08:05 AM
Three-point-two million years of evolution as a social animal and people still expect all interactions to be covered by one (or at most, two) simple rules. Actually, the drive to make everything easy to the point of "if s/he does X, it's okay to do Y" is what makes it so complicated. My ideas on the topic (I'll remember who asked me in a minute):

1) It's okay for a person to invite attention to her breasts or any of his/her physical or non-physical attributes, within certain flexible guidelines.

2) Having done that, it's still possible and permissible for that person to find the attention paid to be excessive, or offensively prurient, or misdirected, or too persistent or exclusive, or just plain creepy. Let's try a thought experiment. You're a guy, and you have hypothesized that projecting an image of success just may make you more attractive to women. So you buy (or rent) a gold-plated Maserati Fellatio 6000 in which to tool (Ha!) around town. And it works!

So you're not offended if the attractive woman next to you asks about your health insurance, how much your house cost, and persistently tries to peek at your bank-book, right? Or if the mostly much plainer women and more than a few men in the room do the same thing? Because you're the one drawing attention to your financial status, and to draw the line somewhere, or to not welcome that attention, democratically, from everyone in sight would be hypocritical. No? Stuck-up bitch.

3) If someone acts in a way that prompts a response from you, and that someone then punishes you for that response, you can: (a) decide to play it safe by acting the way the someone says they want you to act, and see what happens; (b) play it even safer and decide that the signals are too confusing to continue the interaction, and politely disengage; (c) decide that the someone is hypocritically misbehaving at your expense and retaliate; (d) reconsider the appropriateness of your original response. Any of these might be the proper reaction, and the one you choose will open some new options and foreclose others for both of you. But you have to choose based not on what your magic mind-reading skills tell you she will do (if they worked, you wouldn't be in this situation) but on a personal set of values that you've decided are important. You can honestly tell her that her own actions in decorating her chest fooled into thinking that's where she wanted your attention. You can make a joke and tell her you were part of the search and rescue team looking for Tinker Bell. You can apologize and tell her that while you can't undo it, you won't do it again. Or, you can keep silent and stiff her on the tip, in the hope that this will modify her behavior, at least toward customers.

4)Oh, and just as a general rule, good bartenders never consider their customers to be anything but a source of income. They'll look out for them to the extent that a shepherd looks out for his flock, but they're looking to make their livelihood from you, not their life.

Anaamika
03-24-2006, 08:08 AM
Wow, this weirds me out a bit. The times I do wear a cleavage-revealing shirt - not very often, mostly at the Ren Faire - is to show off a bit. You know, break out of my slacks and conservative blouses. I'm expecting people to look. I'd prefer you not talk solely to them, but I'm only going to be flattered (and maybe blush a little) if you look down repeatedly.

If it's on display...!

MissMossie
03-24-2006, 08:14 AM
<snip>Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?
I think this hit the nail on the head. If a woman covers her tits with glitter, then she probably shouldn't get upset when people look at them, but there's a definate difference between looking and having conversations with. When somebody is talking with me, I expect them to be doing just that, not having a conversation with my breasts. If someone is talking to my breasts exclusively, I do feel a bit objectified. If I'm flaunting my goods and somebody is openly appreciating them, well, that's what their on display for.

When I put "Li'l Trip & The Twins" into my banana hammock and go to the beach
I had to read that several times before I realized what you meant. Then I laughed...really, really hard.

-Mosquito

Man With a Cat
03-24-2006, 08:27 AM
My feeling is that if she dressed in a way to display them, and accessorize them with glitter, she wanted you to notice them. But, as the point has been made already, once you've noticed, it'd be somewhat polite to move on and if you're going to talk to her, talk to HER, not to them. They're not going to answer you. They're boobs, not her brain, not her vocal cords.

If, after some witty conversation, and such, she finds you of interest or is merely warm for your form (no, I'm not so old that I used that phrase a lot, it just came out), then perhaps at some point in the near future she'll be pleased to let you get to know them on a more personal basis.

Believe me here, the chicks that find it amusing that you're ogling the fun bags are NOT the ones you want to play with.

Nava
03-24-2006, 08:58 AM
I personnally always assumed that these displays were intended to caught the eye of guys they could be interested in, and that they get all offended when the beholder doesn't belong to the desired category. So, that if you're a young cute boy they'll be pleased, but will expect old, out of shape blokes to look the other way and will be pissed off if they don't.

True as far as I can tell. Me, when I'm wearing my "I want to hear 'em bricklayers whistle" jeans I don't get all worked up if a lawyer is likewise affected.

I had these students in Chemistry Lab who insisted in coming to class in double-half-moon shorts and stilettos. The first time they came to the lab like that I told them they had to go change; they accused me of being a dirty bitch and other language I can't be bothered to remember (interesting method for getting on the TA's good side) and I simply showed to them the papers with THEIR signatures, saying that the safety rules included flat, closed-toe shoes (preferably sneakers) and either long trousers or long skirts (preferably long jeans), for both sexes. Ouips.

jali
03-24-2006, 09:40 AM
Reminds me of the Dave Chappelle (paraphrased) quote: 'You're not a whore. You're just wearing a whore's uniform."

Tripler
03-24-2006, 09:47 AM
You know, it slipped my mind with my first post. Now, I feel it incumbent that I must protest the lack of pictures in this thread. Purely for factual evidence, of course. . .

Tripler
Seriously. It's purely for evidentiary value.

DianaG
03-24-2006, 10:09 AM
You know, it slipped my mind with my first post. Now, I feel it incumbent that I must protest the lack of pictures in this thread. Purely for factual evidence, of course. . .

Tripler
Seriously. It's purely for evidentiary value.
Here you go! (http://www.diariodenavarra.es/actualidad/20060317/fotos/2006031719552298_300.jpg)

D_Odds
03-24-2006, 10:13 AM
That's just...wrong! :eek:

Gangster Octopus
03-24-2006, 10:17 AM
Hey SHAKES, what was her tone? I mean was it kind of "Hey SHAKES, my eyes are up here (you goofball *girlish giggle*)" or was it "Hey SHAKES, my eyes are up here (you fucking asshole *lasers from eyes*)?

The Weird One
03-24-2006, 10:20 AM
Reminds me of a story my high school boyfriend told me. He was talking to another girl in the hallway, and she was well-endowed and wearing a shirt with lots of writing across the chest. He was trying to read what it said, and she got insulted because he was staring at her boobs. :smack:

I seem to've been born without the ability to notice when someone's staring at my boobs. Maybe I just don't make eye contact enough - maintaining contstant eye contact feels like a threatening gesture to me, but if I don't keep looking at their eyes, how can I tell when they stray? So go ahead guys, stare all you want, I'm completely oblivious.

The Weird One
03-24-2006, 10:22 AM
Here you go! (http://www.diariodenavarra.es/actualidad/20060317/fotos/2006031719552298_300.jpg)
Oog. You, ah, I hope you're getting that taken care of. Oog.

Binarydrone
03-24-2006, 10:29 AM
So, what you are all saying is that women must wear approved clothing if they don't want to be objectified?
I'm well past the age of oogling, but I was once quite ooglable. No matter how I dressed, I expected to be treated with respect.
Is there a difference between this and blaming a rape victim because she was dressed provocatively?
Grow up, boys, and look the girl in the eye!
I am sorry, but this strikes me as one of those "I am woman, hear me roar" sophomore in college and just discovering my Yoni power arguments. Are we seriously equating men looking at tits that have obviously been put on display with rape? WTF?

No one is trying to force women (should I say womyn?) to wear "approved" clothing. We are just saying that men like to look at tits and if you put them out there we are going to look at them. Really, it is a logical consequence of how you choose to display them. Sorry.

Malacandra
03-24-2006, 10:39 AM
No, I mean that it minimizes my 340 lb frame, and hides the enormous Basketcase-like tumor on my left side. Still hot, boys? :D


340lb? In that case I'm probably oblivious to whether or not you have boobs. Feel happier? :p


Dangerosa, I agree with everything you said. If I'm showing loads of sparkly cleavage, of course I expect people to look. But there are plenty of guys who'll talk to your chest if you're wearing anything other than a parka. The fact is, what would be a modest V neck on a B-cup is going to be just a bit cleavagy (and I do mean a bit, not a full on tittie show) on a D cup. Does that mean I should restrict myself to crewnecks? Hell no.

No, just get something that fits the figure you've got, not the one you wish you had. :p 3

Anaamika
03-24-2006, 10:46 AM
Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?
I second, or third this. This is what it comes down to, really.

Plynck
03-24-2006, 11:23 AM
I saw a special on boob surgery and the bar tender said her tips were directly proportional to the amount of tits showing. Well... yeah! Stands to reason...

I mean, you can find tip jars everywhere, but...






What?

ralph124c
03-24-2006, 11:40 AM
What about provocatively-dressed women in a place like South Beach, Miami? I saw a gal walk off the beach dressed in a microbikini. There was literally nothing abu a few strings and postage stamps.
Its just not possible to ignore something like that.

HPL
03-24-2006, 11:48 AM
This thread reminds me of a monologue on Chapelle's show.

[Dave Chapelle]

Girls dress up all sexy and then when you say so, they get all offended. "Well, ex-cuse me! Just because I am dressed this way does not make me a whore!"

And you're right; it doesn't. But ladies, you gotta understand, that it's damn confusing! That's like if I dressed up like a cop and stood on the sidewalk.

"Oh, thank God you're here, officer. We need your help, just - "

"Well, ex-cuse me! Just because I am dressed this way does not make me a police officer!"

[/Dave Chapelle]

Chanteuse
03-24-2006, 12:01 PM
So you're not offended if the attractive woman next to you asks about your health insurance, how much your house cost, and persistently tries to peek at your bank-book, right? Or if the mostly much plainer women and more than a few men in the room do the same thing? Because you're the one drawing attention to your financial status, and to draw the line somewhere, or to not welcome that attention, democratically, from everyone in sight would be hypocritical. No? Stuck-up bitch.


Well, if I have my bank book open with the grand total written in HUGE RED NUMBERS and glued to my forehead, it'd be a little pissy of me to claim a violation of privacy because someone couldn't keep from repeatedly looking at it! :)

IOW, it's not having breasts attractively clothed that causes the problem--it's putting them on intentional and obvious display and then complaining that no one notices that you even have eyes, much less what color they are. If a guy were to walk into a bar with jeans so tight that he bulged and had a red ribbon pinned to the bulge, I'd be unable to keep from staring, and he'd be a real turd to say, "Hey, girl! My eyes are up HERE, you know!"

Binarydrone
03-24-2006, 12:30 PM
Well, if I have my bank book open with the grand total written in HUGE RED NUMBERS and glued to my forehead, it'd be a little pissy of me to claim a violation of privacy because someone couldn't keep from repeatedly looking at it! :)...
But how is that any different than stuffing you full of roofies and viagra and rafing you?

silenus
03-24-2006, 12:31 PM
The classic Non Sequitur cartoon, captioned "Why men will never understand women," a featuring a woman at the plastic surgean's, saying "I want them big enough that I can yell at men for looking at them." :D

The Weird One
03-24-2006, 12:40 PM
But how is that any different than stuffing you full of roofies and viagra and rafing you?
Man, I hate getting rafed. Every time I go out clubbing these days, some British guy slips something into my drink, and next thing I know I'm in the Royal Air Force. Those Brits must be really short of pilots.

Ethilrist
03-24-2006, 12:57 PM
I saw a woman on the street the other day that had a t-shirt that seeme to read:

STOP
TARIN

I, of course, had to stare at her for a minute to figure out what she was trying to say.

taxi78cab
03-24-2006, 01:00 PM
If I go out wearing something low-cut, I would certainly expect to be checked out. (I hope I would!) But if I guy only stares at my chest, that is going to affect what I think of him. Probably not "Asshole!" but I'm probably not going to be planning to spend the rest of my life with him either.

That's really what it comes down to for me: if I don't like how a guy is looking at me, I always have the option of walking away. No, the bartender really can't, but in most cases it's your choice whether to continue a conversation with a guy who's staring. You may end up with no one left to talk to at a party or at the bar, but it's your perogative, both to wear "slutty" clothes and to walk away from anyone who doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated. No reason to call him a jerk. Just end the conversation. Why is that so hard?

Bippy the Beardless
03-24-2006, 01:02 PM
Was she saying 'My eyes are up here" in friendly jest, or was she really annoyed?

She must have known her clothing was designed to cause attention, and there is nothing wrong with that at all.

If she was jesting, I would reply 'I know, but your boobs are down there and they are sparkaling at me" with a big cheeky smile, followed by a stronger attempt to look her in the eye whilst talking.

If she was annoyed, I might say nothing, blame her mood on a bad day at work, and try not to stare again.

CalMeacham
03-24-2006, 01:17 PM
I saw a woman on the street the other day that had a t-shirt that seeme to read:

STOP
TARIN

I, of course, had to stare at her for a minute to figure out what she was trying to say.



Indeed, Tarin must be Stopped!

Harriet the Spry
03-24-2006, 01:17 PM
I think The King of Soup has demonstrated great wisdom in this thread.

UncleRojelio
03-24-2006, 01:54 PM
Was she saying 'My eyes are up here" in friendly jest, or was she really annoyed?

Yeah, because as a bartender, everything she says or does is designed to increase her tips. You probably felt shamed into leaving even more money in the tip jar, didn't ya?

Binarydrone
03-24-2006, 02:07 PM
I think The King of Soup has demonstrated great wisdom in this thread.
Is this a whoosh? because I am just not seeing it. How is asking probing finacial questions and trying to sneek a look at something presumably in your pocket in any way related to glancing at something that we (most men) are hard-wired to respond to that has been put on extra display, and covered with glitter? Seriously, are you joking?

Shakes
03-24-2006, 02:43 PM
Was she saying 'My eyes are up here" in friendly jest, or was she really annoyed?




I'll say she had of an apathetic look on her face. She couldn't have been too annoyed beecause we continued to talk after the "incident". (And I also contiued to take periodic glance. Couldn't help it)

picunurse
03-24-2006, 03:19 PM
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me. I'm wearing this shirt because it's a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. :p

Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?
My Hero! Exactly.
If the day is warm, I should be able to wear a tank top, just as my flatter sisters do, without having to name my breasts so men may introduce themselves to them!


What is that useless bit of skin attached to the end of a penis?
A Man
:D

Bippy the Beardless
03-24-2006, 03:30 PM
Yeah, because as a bartender, everything she says or does is designed to increase her tips. You probably felt shamed into leaving even more money in the tip jar, didn't ya?
Excuse me ? :confused:

Dangerosa
03-24-2006, 04:28 PM
I'm not flat chested. Yet I go to work every day in a variety of clothes that are flattering, and yet don't scream "look at my chest!!!!!" I'm particularly fond of ribbed turtlenecks that are very complementary to my figure. Yes, I'm run into a man or two who does talk to my chest, whatever I'm wearing - those men are assholes and I avoid talking to them. I've never found a situation where a tank top is most comfortable but I'm required to talk to assholes.

alice_in_wonderland
03-24-2006, 04:33 PM
I've got boobs (they're fabulous, in case anyone was wondering).

I can wear high tops, and I can wear low tops. If I'm wearing a low top, with a thrusting bra, and glitter, and a necklace with a pokey thing pointing at them, then provided the guy isn't actually drooling on them, I don't have a damn thing to take umbrage at.

Shit - you put glitter on things to want to have noticed. If you then harangue the poor guy for noticing, you're a tool.

Ghanima
03-24-2006, 05:01 PM
I agree, if you're going to put the goods out for display, you can't blame anyone for looking. I had a couple of lower-cut shirts I wore to work once or twice. Then I didn't wear them to work anymore. I couldn't blame the guys for looking, but it's hard to remain businesslike when the person you're talking to is looking down your shirt. Now I save the low-cut shirts for more social purposes. It seems very obvious to me: don't show'em off if you don't want people to look.

Binarydrone
03-24-2006, 05:11 PM
My Hero! Exactly.
If the day is warm, I should be able to wear a tank top, just as my flatter sisters do, without having to name my breasts so men may introduce themselves to them!...
So what is the weather like on your planet?

Seriously, though, the fact is that men look at tits. This is not saying that we need to give a free pass to those that are not even trying to be subtle, but at the end of the day men are going to look.

If you go out of your way to draw attention to them (you know, like the OP was talking about) you really have no business being all shocked and surprised when men look.

Sorry the world is not living up to your expectations.

garygnu
03-24-2006, 05:11 PM
I can't add anything to this conversation that hasn't already been said.

mrald
03-24-2006, 05:34 PM
OK checking in for the not so big chested women here....

Anyway IMO, I love it when I guy looks at mine, simply because they really aren't all that eye catching. Once I was have a bad day, a guy took a peak down my tank top at the gas station and I actually thanked him. It boosted my ego. :D

Lionne
03-24-2006, 05:41 PM
Reminds me of one of my favourite T-shirts, worn by a very shapely woman who was walking down the steps at the train station as I was walking up. The legend, across her chest, simply read stop staring at my tits.
I have this shirt too, and I've worn it a few times*. It was very tongue-in-cheek and I got a lot of compliments and laughs from guys, as well as a few leers. I knew when I put it on that I'd be drawing attention to my breasts, but that was fine with me. I, too, adorn them with glitter when I go out - it's just a little something extra to be eye-catching. Doesn't bother me when I catch men looking, although when they look at NOTHING else but my boobs, I find someone else to talk to.


*Yes, I have a picture, but you don't really need to see it!

D_Odds
03-24-2006, 05:42 PM
I've got boobs (they're fabulous, in case anyone was wondering).Let me be the first lech to ask...

CITE!

The King of Soup
03-24-2006, 11:06 PM
I suppose I was a little too cute with the analogy, but the point is, whether we're talking rude staring or intrusive questions, even when something is on display there can be a level of appreciation/attention/curiosity that is offensive. A woman who paints her toenails bright colors is not fair game for the fetishist who wants to converse while prone at her feet. If the woman wears something bright and shiny on her earlobe, or her hand, she might even welcome a subtle compliment, but if you can't look at anything else she can be forgiven for inferring that you're a jewel thief or a creep.

A woman, even one who augments decolletage with glitter, also has completely bared her face and probably is wearing artfully applied make-up to highlight those features as well. So cries of "she wants me to look" seem, well, kind of selective.

No matter what's on display, or how, or how much of it, in conversation, polite people maintain eye contact. Hey, that's a simple rule: maybe we found one after all. There are certainly situations in which it's difficult, but if it's impossible, then you've found the limits of your social skills and it's time to move on and stare at people from a safe distance -- say, across the parking lot.

Maastricht
03-25-2006, 02:36 AM
I have this shirt too, and I've worn it a few times*. It was very tongue-in-cheek and I got a lot of compliments and laughs from guys, as well as a few leers.
I was just reminded of a T-shirt I owned. It said: "All this and brains, too!". It brought across the same message as the "stop staring"-tees, but much more good-naturedly.
I didn't wear it myself; I've got D's and it just seemed a bit much. I gave the tee as a present to a friend of mine with small A's, (it was very stretchy material :) ) and she loved it! She said it got her tonnes of pleasant flirty attention. I think it must have been the : "Yes I know you're looking and it's okay, let's have a laugh about it" attitude the text conveyed.

Shodan
03-25-2006, 07:50 AM
Dude, don't blame your infantile breast obsession on me. They're just boobs. They just grew there, and they're not that big a deal to me. I'm wearing this shirt because it's a pretty and flattering shirt, and I like it. Believe it or not, I gave you not a thought when I got dressed. :p

Seriously, though. It's okay to look. It's not okay to talk to my chest. Can we all agree that there's a difference between appreciative glances and treating me as though I am an inconsequential appendage to my own breasts?
I'm sorry, did you say something?

Regards,
Shodan

JustAnotherGeek
03-25-2006, 08:34 AM
*Yes, I have a picture, but you don't really need to see it!

...aaaaand allow me to be the first lech to say, "YES WE DO!"




;) :D

Cat Whisperer
03-25-2006, 02:50 PM
<snip>What is that useless bit of skin attached to the end of a penis?
A Man
:D
I realize this was posted as a joke, but it is offensive to the gender of men. It's not right when women are objectified, and it's not right when men are, either.

Least Original User Name Ever
03-26-2006, 01:47 AM
I realize this was posted as a joke, but it is offensive to the gender of men. It's not right when women are objectified, and it's not right when men are, either.

funny, you ALMOST killed the thread with the guy bashing joke...

but i wouldn't let you!!!


by the way, what's posted as a joke? the original post?

Auntbeast
03-26-2006, 02:12 AM
This is cracking me up. My breasts have varied from a b-ish to dd-and-beyond. I dress pretty modestly and no matter what size they were, men look.

If it's any consolation, I bought a glittery shirt that said "warning: I had a bowl of cranky for breakfast." No one is more fascinated with it than my 6 month old daughter. I tend to think of guys noticing my boobs rather like a crow gathering shiny bits of tinsel for their nests. It's what they do.

I, too believe that if you sprinkle glitter on it, expect it to be noticed. To get offended is offensive. Then again, the creepy old guy that continuously asked me if I was going to breastfeed, EWWWWWW! (Yes, fwiw, that does explain some of the size variation)

Look all you want guys, no touchy though. And don't be squicky about it. Oh, and when we walk away, don't be a sleezebag.

We have a cocktail waitress that is just stunning. A truly nice girl too. Hardworking, heart of gold, and ohmygod is she stunning. They had special uniforms rented for St. Patty's day and she was lamenting to me how short the shorts were (see? butt turned up towards me) and the tops were so low (chest all aglitter towards me) I'm a girl, but gee could I appreciate the view, I said to her, do you know how many men in this room would kill to be having this conversation with you? I immediately realized that I was in the right place at the right time. This was last year, and I still remember that interaction fondly.

Cat Whisperer
03-26-2006, 11:51 AM
funny, you ALMOST killed the thread with the guy bashing joke...

but i wouldn't let you!!!
Well, my thread-killing skillz are indeed mad, but even they can be bested at times.


by the way, what's posted as a joke? the original post?
The post that I quoted had a fairly old, well-known joke from back in the day when we used to bash men without a thought for the inappropriateness of it.

Terrifel
03-26-2006, 01:08 PM
Sometimes I have no idea what the rules are supposed to be anymore. I was raised in an environment where indiscreet ogling was generally regarded as a distinct faux pas, and I still harbor much of this social baggage even though the culture seems to be transitioning away from this paradigm to a certain extent. I blame the malls. I remember when it seemed like malls were made up mostly of shoe stores. These days, however, the shoe stores appear to be increasingly eclipsed by female scanty wear concessions. I'm not saying that the shoe stores were preferable by any means, mind. It's just that as the scanty wear gets scantier, it becomes more and more difficult to estimate exactly how much attention a woman is actively trying to solicit via her attire. I spend a lot of time at the mall pondering this problem.

So the other day I'm at the mall, and this young woman walks by, and she seems to be just the sort of young woman that these stores are targeting. She's really cute, and she's got the scanty wear on-- whatever that stretchy material is that they make those tube tops out of. Any hoo, she's nicely stretching out the fabric, and it's pink fabric, and it's got sparkly stuff on it, so you can detect the jiggling and stretching even in low-light conditions. And on the front of this pink sparkly stretchy tube top is a picture of a provocatively posed Marilyn Monroe.

Let me reiterate: this extremely attractive, well-endowed woman was decorating her ample bosomal region with a picture of another well-endowed woman . A pink sparkly stretchy picture. This is simply unfair. It's overkill. You've crossed the line, pink stretchy woman. You're just making fun of my baser instincts now. You don't know me; I don't know you, yet here you are, cruelly attacking my eyes with your sparkling stretchiness. Honestly, you need to go home and think about whether you really want me to be staring at your torso, because you've quite frankly left me with no other choice in the matter.

Or, to quote Crow T. Robot: "All right; you know what? I'm just giving in, and looking at the breasts."

Sunspace
03-26-2006, 01:57 PM
Sure, the girls doing the "lookie here - don't look, you perv!" are hypocrits. But isn't hypocrisy the spice of the American sex-life? From my Dutch perspective, there is a LOT of scarcity, danger and damnation surrounding American sex. And who can resist a juicy taboo? Over here it's just a nice thing you do, or you don't. Shrug. ….Sometimes I envy you guys across the Pond.Dear Og, no. We envy you Europeans because you take such a sensible, non-twisted approach to these matters.

Gala Matrix Fire
03-26-2006, 04:44 PM
This thread reminds me of a monologue on Chapelle's show.

[Dave Chapelle]

Girls dress up all sexy and then when you say so, they get all offended. "Well, ex-cuse me! Just because I am dressed this way does not make me a whore!"

And you're right; it doesn't. But ladies, you gotta understand, that it's damn confusing! That's like if I dressed up like a cop and stood on the sidewalk.

"Oh, thank God you're here, officer. We need your help, just - "

"Well, ex-cuse me! Just because I am dressed this way does not make me a police officer!"

[/Dave Chapelle]

Wow, I find it interesting that Dave Chapelle and Miss Manners feel the same way about this particular issue. I wonder what else they agree on.

Least Original User Name Ever
03-26-2006, 05:10 PM
Well, my thread-killing skillz are indeed mad, but even they can be bested at times.


The post that I quoted had a fairly old, well-known joke from back in the day when we used to bash men without a thought for the inappropriateness of it.
right-o

i've heard the joke...i was just clarifying


carry on, then