O.K. then, what about man and gorrillas?

[darkcool]

I read somewhere the Chinese had succesfully bred a man and a gorrilla? anyone else heard this? UL?

[Danielinthewolvesden]

With artificial insemination, on the bare edge of possibility. With a chimp, in the lab, I would say a definate maybe. But WHY?

Thus, sounds like an UL.

[matt]

some people will do anything for a few Golds at the Olympics...

Let me tell you one thing: It takes a LOT of tequila to get a gorilla into the sack.

[Una Persson]

Originally posted by blessedwolf
Let me tell you one thing: It takes a LOT of tequila to get a gorilla into the sack.
So it's the gorilla, and not the human, who needs the tequila? Damn! I've been doing it all backwards...

Originally posted by Anthracite
[QUOTE]
So it's the gorilla, and not the human, who needs the tequila? Damn! I've been doing it all backwards...

Well, if you saw me, you'd understand.

[pldennison]

Dr. Necessiter (David Warner): As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put [your mistress'] mind into the body of a gorilla.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin): I couldn't fuck a gorilla!

Originally posted by pldennison
Dr. Necessiter (David Warner): As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put [your mistress'] mind into the body of a gorilla.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin): I couldn't fuck a gorilla!

Holy S***! I thought I was the only one who remembered that flick!

BTW: I'm very impressed. You spelled the name properly!

[jab1]

Originally posted by darkcool
I read somewhere the Chinese had succesfully bred a man and a gorrilla? anyone else heard this? UL?

Where did you read this? The Weekly World News? You got an email? You misspelled "gorilla," BTW.

[Earl Snake-Hips Tucker]

Guerillas have been interbreeding with regular people for ages.

[Chronos]

I saw a really cheezy made-for-TV movie with this premise once, except it wasn't a true hybrid, but a chimera. You take two separate zygotes, each with two parents, and mix them together before they begin to differentiate. Net result is that you get some cells in the resultant organism that're pure gorilla, and some that are pure human (or whatever species you're using). I don't remember who it was in the movie that did the experiment, though... It may have been the Chinese.

[SqrlCub]

Yes, but could they make a two or three assed monkey... or even a five assed monkey?

HUGS!
Sqrl

[jcarbon]

What do you get when you breed a tiger with a parrot?

[hardhead365]

I don't know, but when it talks I listen :D

[Una Persson]

Originally posted by SqrlCub
Yes, but could they make a two or three assed monkey... or even a five assed monkey?

HUGS!
Sqrl
Sqrl, they would be fools indeed for tampering with God's elegant, single-assed design.

[pldennison]

blessedwolf: I'll cop to looking up the spelling on the IMDB, but the quote was the very first thing I thought of when I read the OP. One of my favorite movies.

I do recall a story in the Plain Dealer (I'm sure it was a wire story) this year or last about a researcher who announced plans to create a human/chimp hybrid and patentin, in order to draw attention to what he felt was the unethical practice of patenting living things. I'll be damned if I can find a cite for it, though. Anyone else want to give it a shot?

[Sofa King]

First Born (1989 TV mini-series)

Edward Forester is a genetic researcher, intent on breeding primate hybrids. But his experiments take a strange turn when he succeeds in breeding a human/gorilla hybrid. He hides the results of the experiment, adopting the child, and helps Gor to speak and blend into society. But Gor can't help being what he is, and tragedy and revelations are the ultimate result.

Holy cow! I wrote the same damned story for my short-story fiction writing class the year before that! Right down to the chimaera! I wonder if someone pinched it? If the show was a piece of shit, it definitely could have been mine.

I found this on a cached page at Google. The original link is busted. I've cleaned it up some.

Similarity of genetic code

Similarity of... to...

Chimp______________bonobo 99.3%
Human______________Chimp or bonobo 98.4%
Gorilla____________Human, chimp, or bonobo 97.7%
Orang utan_________ Gorilla, human, chimp, or bonobo 96.4%
Gibbon or siamang __Great apes 95%
Old World monkeys __apes 93%

========
Human and chimp hemoglobin are identical in all 287 units.

So according to that scale, humans and Gorillas share almost 98% of their genetic material. That, I think, is closer than horses and donkeys. So I think it is definitely possible that it can happen. In researching my little opus back in college I learned that Gorillas'heads are much larger than humans' at birth, so the baby would have to be delivered by c-section. I'm assuming a human mother would carry the fetus; I wouldn't want to try to take a newborn away from its 300 lb. mother.

I too, read that the Chinese were planning on interbreeding humans and gorillas. It was in approximately 1983, in the "Continuum" section of the Penthouse of Science, Omni Magazine. I would take that report, and my recollection, with a pound or two of salt. I haven't found any articles implying the same on-line, but that doesn't mean they're not out there.

You know, I may just be a sick fuck, but I'd be willing to donate my sperm to impregnate a chimanzee. Just to see what it would be like. After all, when I have a son, I'm sure his back will be hairy anyway...

[warmgun]

Sofa K. is right about the Omni article and I also read it in a book somewhere ages ago. Who the hell knows what goes on behind closed doors? Like B. wolf, I'm sure there is some "sick" fuck giving tequila to a chimp somewhere. 'Course you're not gonna hear about the results. In a recent (4or 5 months ago?) Outside article about one of those 'primate women' there was mention of an Orang 'raping' a woman. The world is a crazy place. I'd bet it has happened.

[Lemur866]

According to Jared Diamond, (in his book "The Third Chimpanzee", humans are so close genetically to the two species of chimps that we might as well be in the same genus. That's right, it should be Homo sapiens, Homo troglodytes, and Homo paniscus. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but Chimps are definately hominids.

It wouldn't shock me if hybridization was sometimes possible. A chimp or bonobo would be a better candidate than a gorilla, of course. But note that a chimp would have a better chance hybridizing with a human that it would with a gorilla.

It's usually stated that the chimp is man's closest relative. But what people sometimes fail to realize is that a chimp's closest relative is not the gorilla, but the human.

[darkcool]

I don't know what it is about me - I'm starting to get a complex. Seems I'm the only guy who gets called everytime I misspell a word. Geez these boards are full of' em (misspellings). But let me not proof one post and - Bam - someone's on me. Of course I know how to spell gerhillah, I just was a little quick on the 'return' key.
This post prob has some too but fuck it. I'll be the whippin' boy for bad spellers!

[chadg033]

Originally posted by blessedwolf
Originally posted by pldennison
Dr. Necessiter (David Warner): As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put [your mistress'] mind into the body of a gorilla.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin): I couldn't fuck a gorilla!

Holy S***! I thought I was the only one who remembered that flick!

BTW: I'm very impressed. You spelled the name properly!

Ok, sorry for being the odd man out, but what is this movie?

[Danielinthewolvesden]

IMHO, and that of many Zoologists, there is no such species as the "bonobo". It is simply a subspecies of the Pan Chimp, ie the "Pygmy chimp". However, one can't get a lot of excitement engendered if a SUB-species is endagered, so they upped the status, for purely political reasons. Based on that reasoning, there are at least 4 species of humans.

[Collounsbury]

What? That is just a crock:

Bonobo do have fixed differences from other Chimps (although I grant easily that with recent studies on Pan's inter-species variability one can make a cogent case for Bonobo as a sub-species, although I think it fails.)

Nothing anywhere near this is found in humans. Nothing. No sub-species, nada.

Originally posted by chadg033

Ok, sorry for being the odd man out, but what is this movie? [/B]

The Man with Two Brains.

[bibliophage]

One big problem with human-chimp or human-gorilla hybrids is that they don't have the same number of chromosomes. Humans have 46; chimps and gorillas have 46. Perhaps a chimp-gorilla hybrid would be easier. see biology & medical science (http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/Biology/Original/b00107d.html)

Some of those who believe in such things as the yeti and Sasquatch have speculated that they are human-ape hybrids.

It was once speculated that an unusually human-acting chimp named Oliver was a human-chimp hybrid. Genetic testing comfirms he is in no part human. see http://www.parascope.com/en/cryptozoo/missingLinks10.htm

Originally posted by bibliophage
One big problem with human-chimp or human-gorilla hybrids is that they don't have the same number of chromosomes. Humans have 46; chimps and gorillas have 46.


I'm going to go ahead and assume that was a typo, if it's all right with you.

out of curiosity, how many chromosomes do chimps and gorillas have?

[mipsman]

Where is Jois at? You can't believe that Homo sapiens sapiens could have successfully bred with archaic Homo sapiens and these folks are speculating on human-chimp hybrids.
What is the latest on chimp-bonopos? Looks like there is a controversy about bonopos being their own species.

[KneadToKnow]

Originally posted by darkcool
anyone else heard this?
Bart has!
"God, schmod! I want my monkey-man!"

[astro]

Originally posted by Lemur866
According to Jared Diamond, (in his book "The Third Chimpanzee", humans are so close genetically to the two species of chimps that we might as well be in the same genus. That's right, it should be Homo sapiens, Homo troglodytes, and Homo paniscus. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but Chimps are definately hominids.

It wouldn't shock me if hybridization was sometimes possible. A chimp or bonobo would be a better candidate than a gorilla, of course. But note that a chimp would have a better chance hybridizing with a human that it would with a gorilla.


So why aren't there any neanderthal/sapiens hybrids extant?
Would all the offspring be sterile hybrids?

[wevets]

IMHO, and that of many Zoologists, there is no such species as the "bonobo". It is simply a subspecies of the Pan Chimp, ie the "Pygmy chimp". However, one can't get a lot of excitement engendered if a SUB-species is endagered, so they upped the status, for purely political reasons.


But there are also those who justifiably believe that Pan paniscus (the pygmy chimp/bonobo) deserves the status of a full species for cladistic, not political reasons. In addition, Pan troglodytes already has endangered status, and is protected under CITES (http://www.wcmc.org.uk/CITES/eng/index.shtml), and listed as endangered by USFWS (http://www.fws.gov/)... of course, they don't occur naturally in the US, but they're listed anyway. Depending on the level of resolution, cladograms show the pygmy chimps either as a separate lineage with a less than 1% difference in DNA or as a member of the common chimp lineage. Going by Mayr's Biological Species Concept, though, I suppose they could be the same species, but I'll reserve final judgement until after the phylogeneticists sort it out.


Based on that reasoning, there are at least 4 species of humans.


Really? Which human varieties have a genetic difference of 0.7% or more? I don't remember my genetics well enough on this point.

Daniel and I have discussed species/subspecies classification of humans before (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22903), but since we're using slightly different definitions of species and subspecies, we respectfully disagreed, and I expect the same would happen if we did it again.


originally posted by blessedwolf
out of curiosity, how many chromosomes do chimps and gorillas have?


Gorillas have 48 according to the site bibliophage posted, chimpanzees have 48 as well (http://www.amnh.org/enews/headl/e1_h6.html). This may not be such a great barrier to reproduction, though, IIRC donkeys and horses have slightly different numbers of chromosomes too (off by one, I think).


originally posted by astro
So why aren't there any neanderthal/sapiens hybrids extant?


Last I heard, anthropologists were in dispute about whether we bred with neanderthals, so it may be that there are/were neanderthal/sapiens hybrids... perhaps we are them.

[bibliophage]

Originally posted by blessedwolf
Originally posted by bibliophage
One big problem with human-chimp or human-gorilla hybrids is that they don't have the same number of chromosomes. Humans have 46; chimps and gorillas have 46.


I'm going to go ahead and assume that was a typo, if it's all right with you.

out of curiosity, how many chromosomes do chimps and gorillas have? Yes, it was a typo. As wevets just pointed out, chimps and gorillas have 48. Humans have 46.

[bibliophage]

I wonder if there are any chimp-bonobo hybrids out there. IIRC, it was common practice to keep Pan troglodytes and P. paniscus in the same enclosures at zoos until relatively recently.

[Cartooniverse]

Originally posted by blessedwolf
Originally posted by pldennison
Dr. Necessiter (David Warner): As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put [your mistress'] mind into the body of a gorilla.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin): I couldn't fuck a gorilla!

Holy S***! I thought I was the only one who remembered that flick!

BTW: I'm very impressed. You spelled the name properly!

Let us not forget Steve Martin's girlfriend ( played by Katherine Turner??)- Miss Uhmulmhuhay !!!!!

[jab1]

Originally posted by darkcool
I don't know what it is about me - I'm starting to get a complex. Seems I'm the only guy who gets called everytime I misspell a word. Geez these boards are full of' em (misspellings). But let me not proof one post and - Bam - someone's on me. Of course I know how to spell gerhillah, I just was a little quick on the 'return' key.
This post prob has some too but fuck it. I'll be the whippin' boy for bad spellers!

Don't feel singled out; yesterday, I jumped onto Wild Bill on another thread for writing so poorly (misspellings, poor grammar, almost NO punctuation), I could barely comprehend what he was trying to say.

It's just that the combination of an outrageous suggestion (man breeding with gorilla) and a consistent misspelling of a relatively simple word pushed my buttons.

Y'know, it's interesting: Abraham Lincoln claimed his formal schooling added up to no more than one year. Yet he spoke and wrote better than most people today who have had twelve years of grade school (public or private or both) and four years of college. Why is that? Was Abe a genius who managed to teach himself or are our schools really that bad or do people today (and I don't mean you) just don't really care if they learn to read and write well? Is it the stigma our culture places on learning "too much"?

I honestly have no idea.

[DougC]

- - - On a sidenote, in a not-particularly respectful magazine that speculated that the reason that Diane Fossey was murdered was quite possibly that she was caught by the natives having sex with an ape, which is a Class-I taboo among the locals. The native people who lived near the gorillas she was protecting were very helpful towards her for a long time, and then (up until a few days before her death) suddenly weren't. The article claimed that she had no human male companion and spoke very affectionately about her charges, and that she openly claimed that she was accepted as one of them (although nobody seems to have asked if she was screwing any of them). - I might have written it off as a crock right away, but this thread reminded me: if anybody knows if it's possible to mate humans and gorillas, it's probably the people who have lived around them for eons. Among "simple" cultures, taboos exist for usually one of two reasons: either it's a priviledge reserved for royalty, or it leads directly to something dangerous. I can't recall any claims that African tribal leaders were allowed to screw gorillas. - MC