Lissa, a word, if I may

[MrDibble]

Hey there, dearie. I'm not starting this to ream you out, honest, but do you think, maybe, you could post say, one whole week, without mentioning that your husband works in a prison? I mean, if it's a thread about prisons, I can understand it, but dropping it into a thread about the onset of female "unattractiveness" (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7350906&postcount=16) is a bit much, don't you think? The connection was pretty tenuous, it made me go "huh?"

In fact, while I realise you love him very much and like talking about him, I, for one, would much rather hear about you, and your experiences. Hell, IMHO, your job is ten times more interesting than his. I love museums!

[Ensign Edison]

Seriously. I think of her as Lissa-whose-husband-works-in-a-prison.

That said, she's provided interesting information on the topic, so it's not that bad.

[Seven]

Lissa's husband works in a prison? Wow.

<hijack>
Hey Lissa: How long has he worked there? Does he work with really mean killer types or Enron Exec's? Does he get to check cakes for files and if so do they mind if he has a slice? Could you ask him if anyone tried to escape by hot air balloon? Or trained monkeys on motorcycles?
</hijack>

[Kalhoun]

I dunno...I'm attracted to all things incarceration. I don't care if it's Quagdop or Lissa or who. If you're showcasing the underbelly of society...I'm there, baby.

[August West]

Meh, if you are going to have a pitting you better come up with more than one example.

Lissa is one of my favorite posters and I have to admit that I didn't know her husband worked in a prison until this thead, so I don't think it comes up as often as you think.

[Mellivora capensis]

I love museums!

<Ahem>

Rumour has it that a very famous Cape Town prison is now a museum.

<ducks and runs>

[Ensign Edison]

Meh, if you are going to have a pitting you better come up with more than one example.

I really don't think the intent was to "pit" Lissa in the classical sense.

[kimera]

I despise one-trick ponies, but I never noticed this with Lissa. I love her posts, even though we disagree on a few things, and I will open a thread just to see what she has to say. In the example you gave, I think she had a valid reason for bringing it up because she used it to illustrate how much that we think is instinctual is culturally based. I guess I give her a pass because she actually knows what she is talking about and doesn't do drive-bys.

[WOOKINPANUB]

I've definitely noticed this about Lissa. Not to the point where I mind,necessarily , but enough that I've found it curious. Does she do this perhaps for the benefit of newer members who might not know this fact about her life? Does she even realize she does it?

[Miller]

One trick pony? Not that I've seen. Further, her posts in the OP's link were the most interesting, informative posts in the whole thread, and were not entirely off-topic. All in all, this is a very lame-asss pitting.

[MrDibble]

"Ratel" - you know, that made me laugh!

August, I can find other examples, but this really isn't an antagonistic pitting. I don't think of her as a one-trick pony, it's just a little irritance, and the "little-irritance" Pit thread wasn't immediately visible, and the "New Thread" button was.

Mostly, it is done in prison threads, and that's fine. It isn't so much the fact that Lissa brings it up reasonably often that bugs me (she's not as bad as Siege, f'rex.), it's that it's always pretty formulaic: "My husband works in a prison and ...", "My husband , the prison guard...". Second-hand anecdotes and second-hand experience just don't impress me as much as first-hand (so, for instance, since QtM was mentioned, , think what it would be like if elfbabe often jumped into threads with "Ya know, my dad's a prison Doctor, and here's what his experiences make me think about the human condition").

kimera, I think that's my problem with that thread - she doesn't work in a prison, her husband does. So what she "actualluy knows" is coloured by his perceptions etc. Fine for facts about the life of a prison guard, not so much for the internal workings of the criminal mind, I reckon.

Again, don't mean to be ragging on her, but like EE said, I'm starting to think of her as "Lissa-with-the-prison-guard-husband", and I'd much rather think of her as Lissa, full stop. Like I said, I think her job is seriously cool, and I have no beef with her (I don't have a beef with her husband's job, either, but I think he should get his own account, ya know?).

[MrDibble]

One trick pony? Not that I've seen. Further, her posts in the OP's link were the most interesting, informative posts in the whole thread, and were not entirely off-topic. All in all, this is a very lame-asss pitting.

Like I said, not a flameful pitting, nor was I pitting her overall participation in that thread, just the "my husband is a the prison screw" schtick. I din't say she was a OTP, just that that particular thing is noticeable and bugs me. That's all.

[August West]

So this is a non-pitting in the BBQ pit?

[Ensign Edison]

So this is a non-pitting in the BBQ pit?

Where should it go? You can't say mean things in MPSIMS. Maybe IMHO? "Do you guys think Lissa mentions her husband too much?" Yeah, I see that staying out of the Pit for five, maybe ten minutes.

GQ: How many times has Lissa mentioned her husband this month?
GD: If Lissa stops mentioning her husband, does he still exist?
CS: If a movie were made of Lissa's life...

Not every Pit has to be a Pitting of a whole person. I think Pitting a trait is fine, though like others I don't agree that this trait is particularly bothersome.

[Jodi]

I read Lissa's post in the thread you linked to, and it made sense to me. She was not specifically addressing the topic of the thread but rather a tangent that had come up, as tangents often do in Board discussions. I didn't find her mention of her husband's profession to be gratuitous.

Even if the OP's point is correct, which I don't concede, a tendency to mention one's husband excessively strikes me at being a great example of a quirk that easily could be overlooked. Perhaps you, Mr Dibble, have not had the dubious honor of finding your name at the top of a Pit thread, but it isn't pleasant, and a "friendly" advisement that others find your comments tiresome is not, in fact, very friendly. Frankly, to pit someone for something so piddling serves as more of a comment on your posting style than hers.

Just for your consideration, dearie.

[wring]

Jodi!!!!! damn good to see you!!!!!! I'm still at the same email if you have it.

sorry - saw the name and had to shout out!

[Miller]

Again, don't mean to be ragging on her, but like EE said, I'm starting to think of her as "Lissa-with-the-prison-guard-husband", and I'd much rather think of her as Lissa, full stop. Like I said, I think her job is seriously cool, and I have no beef with her (I don't have a beef with her husband's job, either, but I think he should get his own account, ya know?).

Honestly, that sounds more like something you need to deal with, than something Lissa needs to deal with.

[Guinastasia]

The only thing that confuses me is that she has also said her husband teaches at a college. Is this somehow connected to the prison?

:confused:

[Bryan Ekers]

[Ralph Wiggum] What's a prison? [/RW]

[Rube E. Tewesday]

The only thing that confuses me is that she has also said her husband teaches at a college. Is this somehow connected to the prison?

:confused:

Ok, I'm not the only one who noticed that. I've got no interest in pitting Lissa, but if she drops by, I'd like to hear about that.

[Jodi]

Wring! Hey, girl! :) I don't have your addy and you don't list it here. Shoot me a message and we'll catch up -- my addy's in my profile.

[Dunderman]

I didn't even know Lissa's husband works in a prison, so she obviously hasn't mentioned it enough times to bother me, not that she'd be able to. Oh, and it seems perfectly appropriate and on-topic in the linked post. Seriously, what's your beef?

[MrDibble]

I read Lissa's post in the thread you linked to, and it made sense to me. She was not specifically addressing the topic of the thread but rather a tangent that had come up, as tangents often do in Board discussions. I didn't find her mention of her husband's profession to be gratuitous.

My mileage varied, obviously.

Even if the OP's point is correct, which I don't concede, a tendency to mention one's husband excessively strikes me at being a great example of a quirk that easily could be overlooked.
You're not getting it - it's not the mention of her husband that I find repetitive, it's the "my husband, who works in a prison" formula.

Perhaps you, Mr Dibble, have not had the dubious honor of finding your name at the top of a Pit thread,

I've had a lot worse than friendly advice in the Pit before, believe me. Search on my name and "Iraq", or "troops".

but it isn't pleasant, and a "friendly" advisement that others find your comments tiresome is not, in fact, very friendly. Frankly, to pit someone for something so piddling serves as more of a comment on your posting style than hers.

Yes, I don't use my wife's job as a jump-off point for my opinions. So?

Just for your consideration, dearie.
Oooh! Burn!

[LouisB]

Lissa is one of my favorite posters and I have to admit that I didn't know her husband worked in a prison until this thead, so I don't think it comes up as often as you think.Me too.

[Jodi]

MrDibble

You're not getting it - it's not the mention of her husband that I find repetitive, it's the "my husband, who works in a prison" formula.

No, I'm pretty sure I get it. Regardless of which you find repetitive -- "my husband" or "my husband, who works in a prison" -- the fact remains that either or both could easily be overlooked by someone less interested in concocting such a sad little pitting.

Yes, I don't use my wife's job as a jump-off point for my opinions. So?

Did you seriously miss the point so entirely? I will be more explicit: The take-away here is not that you "don't use [your] wife's job as a jump-off point for [your] opinions" -- who cares? -- but that you apparently are the sort who drags people into the Pit for piddly crap that could more easily and more kindly be overlooked. "So," the failing on display in this thread isn't hers, it's yours.

Oooh! Burn!

Brilliant riposte. Please, don't strain yourself.

[Lissa]

Well, gosh . . . seven years and my very first Pitting. I hardly know what to say.

I've definitely noticed this about Lissa. Not to the point where I mind,necessarily , but enough that I've found it curious. Does she do this perhaps for the benefit of newer members who might not know this fact about her life? Does she even realize she does it?

I never noticed I was being gratiuitous about it until I read this, and now I'm mighty embarassed.

Yes, I was mentioning it for newer posters who don't know me. I've always assumed I wasn't all that memorable, and I knew we get a lot of newbies around here.

I mention it whenever I discuss criminal justice or prisons, because I know as soon as I say something, someone will ask me how I know, and I thought it easiest just to introduce my replies with my "credentials."


Mostly, it is done in prison threads, and that's fine. It isn't so much the fact that Lissa brings it up reasonably often that bugs me (she's not as bad as Siege, f'rex.), it's that it's always pretty formulaic: "My husband works in a prison and ...", "My husband , the prison guard...".

I apologize. Consider me thoroughly chastened.

By the way, he's not a guard. He's the deputy warden. Maybe I should add that to my spiel.

Even if the OP's point is correct, which I don't concede, a tendency to mention one's husband excessively strikes me at being a great example of a quirk that easily could be overlooked.

I guess I do mention him a lot, but that's just because he knows a lot of stuff, and has done many interesting jobs. I've learned a lot about the world through his experiences, and when I get information, I like to cite it.

The only thing that confuses me is that she has also said her husband teaches at a college. Is this somehow connected to the prison?

He works both jobs. He usually teaches two or three classes a quarter: sociology and criminology.

You're not getting it - it's not the mention of her husband that I find repetitive, it's the "my husband, who works in a prison" formula.

Again, I apologise. I was guilty of economy of phrasing, but I plead that I never thought anyone paid much attention to what I said, anyway.

Yes, I don't use my wife's job as a jump-off point for my opinions. So?

I use his jobs as a way of citing some of the opinions I voice. I'm Doper-trained after all these years to expect people to ask where I come up with my pea-brained ideas, so I try to cut them off at the pass, so to speak.

Needless to say, whenever I go to type the words, "My husband works . . ." I will think of you as I reach for my thesaurus.

[shefDave]

Damn. Well, if that isn't the classiest response imaginable to a pitting then I'm not sure what is.

[Harborwolf]

I know. What a buzzkill.

[Metacom]

It's OK to frequently bring up something if it's topical and interesting. Lissa brings her husband up appropriately. It's not like she's constantly starting "Favorite Movies Where Your Husband Works in a Prison?" threads in Cafe Society.

[rayh]

It's OK to frequently bring up something if it's topical and interesting. Lissa brings her husband up appropriately. It's not like she's constantly starting "Favorite Movies Where Your Husband Works in a Prison?" threads in Cafe Society.

She will now.

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

Have I ever mentioned that I work in a prison?


;)

[MrDibble]

Well, gosh . . . seven years and my very first Pitting. I hardly know what to say.
"You're welcome?" ;)
I still don't think this was serious enough to be considered a proper pitting, but where else was I going to put it?


Yes, I was mentioning it for newer posters who don't know me. I've always assumed I wasn't all that memorable, and I knew we get a lot of newbies around here.
You're, as you point out, an old hand at this. I don't think the onus should be on you to constantly reinforce that. Damn newbies should learn who's who.

By the way, he's not a guard. He's the deputy warden.
Noted.

I use his jobs as a way of citing some of the opinions I voice. I'm Doper-trained after all these years to expect people to ask where I come up with my pea-brained ideas, so I try to cut them off at the pass, so to speak.

I understand, but I don't agree. I think you should stand by your own ideas - opinions shouldn't need a cite, only facts. That's, I think, the root of my complaint, especially in the linked thread.

I'm glad you didn't freak out over the OP. Thanks for not being too hard on me in return.

[Miller]

I understand, but I don't agree. I think you should stand by your own ideas - opinions shouldn't need a cite, only facts. That's, I think, the root of my complaint, especially in the linked thread.

But there's a difference between informed and uninformed opinions. I got lots and lots of opinions about how prisons should be run, but the fact that I've never even set foot inside of one means that those opinions are probably not very valuable. Prefacing an opinion by mentioning relevant experience with the subject is always a good idea.

[MrDibble]

MrDibble



No, I'm pretty sure I get it. Regardless of which you find repetitive -- "my husband" or "my husband, who works in a prison" -- the fact remains that either or both could easily be overlooked by someone less interested in concocting such a sad little pitting.


So sad, you have to keep coming back to it...


Did you seriously miss the point so entirely? I will be more explicit: The take-away here is not that you "don't use [your] wife's job as a jump-off point for [your] opinions" -- who cares? -- but that you apparently are the sort who drags people into the Pit for piddly crap that could more easily and more kindly be overlooked. "So," the failing on display in this thread isn't hers, it's yours.

Yes, i'm "the sort" allright. I chose not to overlook something - so what? I didn't call Lissa names, suggest she be banned for gratuitus repitition, hell, I was nicer in that OP than I am in real life. Just had an itch, and I scratched. Sorry it didn't make you great list of pitworthy topics - perhaps you should get the mods to make a sticky called "Jodi's list of pitworthy topics"

Brilliant riposte. Please, don't strain yourself.
See, the point was that my "dearie" in the OP was not sark at all, but you clearly took it that way. But my "Burn!" was sarcastic. What's that rushing noise?

[MrDibble]

But there's a difference between informed and uninformed opinions. I got lots and lots of opinions about how prisons should be run, but the fact that I've never even set foot inside of one means that those opinions are probably not very valuable. Prefacing an opinion by mentioning relevant experience with the subject is always a good idea.
I get that (although, like I said, I tend to value second-hand experience a lot less), and that's fine for threads about prisons. Threads about something else, where the opinion offered is on the socialisation and mental state of prisoners, starts making that experience a bit less relevant. IMO. That's how I took it in the linked thread, anyway - it came out of left field for that part of the discussion, and was prefaced with the familiar-to-me-by-now "My husband, who works in a prison..."

I just see it as a version of Siege's "At my really liberal church, that I go to..." or EC's "...and there she was, all tied up". Not a one-trick pony, but a turn of mind that irritates. Me. Not anyone else, apparently, not that that signifies.

[Miller]

I get that (although, like I said, I tend to value second-hand experience a lot less), and that's fine for threads about prisons. Threads about something else, where the opinion offered is on the socialisation and mental state of prisoners, starts making that experience a bit less relevant. IMO. That's how I took it in the linked thread, anyway - it came out of left field for that part of the discussion, and was prefaced with the familiar-to-me-by-now "My husband, who works in a prison..."

I agree with you about second-hand experience not being as valuable as first-hand experience, but that doesn't mean it is without value. By letting us know how many degrees of seperation there are between Lissa and the data she's sharing with us, we know how much weight to give it. I disagree with you that her post came out of left field. It was relevant to the discussion as it had evolved at that time, and while it's not first-hand expert testimony, it was much more solid than Der Trihs wholly unsubstantiated opinions.

And, in all honesty, that the phrase "My husband, who works in prison..." bothers you enough to post even this tame non-pitting is a little pathetic.

[Lissa]

I understand, but I don't agree. I think you should stand by your own ideas - opinions shouldn't need a cite, only facts. That's, I think, the root of my complaint, especially in the linked thread.

In my defense, I don't believe I ever used "my husband works in a prison" to back up a statement of pure opinion. I generally use it when I'm giving a list of facts pertinent to the discussion. To put it another way, I might say, "My husband works in a prison which has [this] percentage of [group]", rather than, "My husband works in a prison, and so I think the death penalty is wrong."

I try to be clear in my posts when I'm relating facts, and when I switch to my personal analysis of the facts. I can see now that perhaps I did not distinguish that line clearly enough.

Thirdly, I try not to state my opinions openly. In a discussion of an issue, I try to post facts which I believe support my view and let my arguments speak for themselves rather than say bluntly, "I'm for/against [whatever]."

Lastly, I think when people have an insight that others may not, they should reveal the origins of it, because it often leads to a more educational experience for all involved.

In that vein, I now adress questions from Seven that I did not notice until now. (With apologies.)

How long has he worked there?

About seven years. He currently works in medium security, but he also worked in a SuperMax for a while.

Does he work with really mean killer types or Enron Exec's?

He works with all types of inmates, really. He has guys in there for murder as well as guys in there for fraud. Inmates are classified by security risk in the state system, (as opposed to federal) not by their crime. SuperMax is different. You only go to SuperMax if you commit a violent crime while in prison, or are deemed to be a security threat, like a super notorious criminal, or member of a violent, powerful group.

Does he get to check cakes for files and if so do they mind if he has a slice?

He was the investigator for the prison for a few years, so, yeah, he did check cakes sometimes . . . snack cakes mailed into inmates sometimes contain drugs. He got to do a lot of really cool detective-stuff, go on house raids, be in a high-speed car chase, do interrogations, use lie detectors, as well as examine and gather clues from crime scenes. Man, has he got some awesome stories.

But, no, he wouldn't eat the cake. He's described some of the houses he's busted for trying to smuggle in contraband to inmates. You wouldn't want to eat stuff that came out of those kitchens.

Could you ask him if anyone tried to escape by hot air balloon? Or trained monkeys on motorcycles?

Well, realize that the average inmate isn't in there because he's a genius. Usually, escape plans consist of, "Hey, I bet if I ran right now, I could climb that fence. That razor wire doesn't look that sharp."

Most of Hubby's investigations were extremely simple to solve. All he and his partner had to do was outwit someone who wasn't all that bright.*

But there have been some really clever ideas the inmates have had. It's not usually to escape-- that's pretty rare-- but plans to smuggle things in or out, making contraband** and things like that. Some of them are brilliant manipulators.

MrDibble, one more comment of yours I wanted to address and previously forgot:

kimera, I think that's my problem with that thread - she doesn't work in a prison, her husband does. So what she "actualluy knows" is coloured by his perceptions etc. Fine for facts about the life of a prison guard, not so much for the internal workings of the criminal mind, I reckon.

No, I have his sociology lessons for the analysis of the criminal mind. :D

I have to admit to being a tad bit insulted that you think I would parrot his opinions, or that he or I have a bias of some sort that renders the information null. He is the most straight-shooting human being I have ever met (and it's why he's been so successful in his career.) He tells you what happened, then what his opinions are on it, but not to exert his stance, instead to get others' input.

Our dinner table is like a Great Debates thread. We talk for hours about nature vs. nurture, the origins of criminal behaviors, etc. And in some areas, we differ.

If you have issue with the facts I present, please let me know instead of hinting that I might not know what I'm talking about because maybe my husband only tells me half of the story. He's not like that, and though I couldn't expect you to know that because you've never met him, rest assured that after seven years, if I were known for talking out of my ass, this wouldn't be my first Pitting.





*They once fooled an inmate into confessing by hooking a pair of headphones to his chest and plugging them into a computer. They already knew the details of what he had done, so when he lied, they'd say things like, "The computer says you're lying. It says you left the dorm at 11:15. You'd better confess, because this thing records every time you lie and that will go against you when they're deciding what to do with you."

** Making "hooch" is the biggest issue, not because the staff is looking to kill their fun, but because it can make someone very sick. Weapons are another issue. Inmates can be goddamed ingenious in making weapons. The warden has a lovely museum case full of them in his office. One of them is a handmade gun which used rubber bands as the firing mechanism and was as powerful as a .22 handgun when tested.

When rule-breaking is harmless, the staff tends to look the other way, and the inmates reciprocate by making sure everyone toes the line so that there's not a crack-down which would result in the loss of all their little privledges.

[zut]

I read Lissa's post in the thread you linked to, and it made sense to me...Jodi! Sorry to continue the hijack, but welcome back! I don't think we ever interacted much, but I was sorry to see you go.

Anyway, on topic: I didn't really know Lissa's husband works in a prison. Eh.

[stretch]

I knew Lissa's husband worked in a prison. I also know that she has three dogs, has health issues, works in a museum, and is smart as a whip. Not because she is a one-trick pony on any of these issues, but because she posts in threads that interest me.

IMO, Lissa only posts about her husband working in a prison when it's germane...including in the linked thread.

Super lame pitting, dude.

[Giraffe]

In my defense, I don't believe I ever used "my husband works in a prison" to back up a statement of pure opinion. I generally use it when I'm giving a list of facts pertinent to the discussion. To put it another way, I might say, "My husband works in a prison which has [this] percentage of [group]", rather than, "My husband works in a prison, and so I think the death penalty is wrong."

I try to be clear in my posts when I'm relating facts, and when I switch to my personal analysis of the facts. I can see now that perhaps I did not distinguish that line clearly enough.Screw that. I'm another one who didn't know your husband worked in a prison. I find it exceedingly helpful when people provide relevant data from informed sources, and you really can't do that without identifying the source. I say keep doing exactly what you're doing -- if MrDibble doesn't like it he can suck it. :p

[Lissa]

I knew Lissa's husband worked in a prison. I also know that she has three dogs, has health issues, works in a museum, and is smart as a whip. Not because she is a one-trick pony on any of these issues, but because she posts in threads that interest me.

You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or "Favorite Posters" lists.)

I want to thank everyone for the kind things they have said about me. Getting Pitted is great!

[Mighty_Girl]

Very lame pitting.

Now Lissa, tell us more of your husband's fantastic adventures. Any particularly funny anecdote? Nobody ever escaped?

[jsgoddess]

You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me.

I don't remember much about your life, but I sort of assign posters to "interesting" or "uninteresting" categories, and you're interesting. I enjoy your posts, even if a day later I don't know what you said.

[stretch]

You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or "Favorite Posters" lists.)

The reason I know those things is because you are an excellent poster--you provide information about how you formed your opinion. Some posters like to just drop a line and run. Then I wonder how come I should give that opinion any weight. For example, if you comment on dog behaviour, you'll let us know it's from your experience with your own dogs and dog trainers you've worked with. I can give your opinion more weight than the poster who doesn't offer a basis for their answer.

Many of our posters, old and new, would not know that you have three dogs--Bean, Polaris, Sirius--or that you feel you did wrong by Bean by not socializing her properly when she was young*. That's why it's great that you include background information for the newbies and the folks suffering from CRS**.

Keep up the good work!

*I'm not stalking you. I just happen to have a brain that retains tons of information that does me little good other than on this message board. :)

**Can't Remember Shit

[Lissa]

Very lame pitting.

Now Lissa, tell us more of your husband's fantastic adventures. Any particularly funny anecdote? Nobody ever escaped?

Oh, man, I gotta blue million anecdotes. After he retires, he intends to write a book. The prison he works in is a very laid-back place in which a serious fight is rare enough to warrant a middle-of-the-night call to inform him. For a person with the sense of absurd humor that he has, the place is like a sitcom.

Only one person has escaped while he's been there, and that was more of a walk-away-from-a-work-detail thing than a planned, elaborate escape. The guy wandered away and ended up down at Wal-Mart, calling all of his friends to try to get one to come pick him up, but all of them had sufficient sense to turn him down. He finally just sat down out front and waited for the police to spot him, which didn't take long.

[Miller]

You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or "Favorite Posters" lists.)

I want to thank everyone for the kind things they have said about me. Getting Pitted is great!

I remember that you worked in a museum from the time we got in an argument about the looted museum in Baghdad. I've made it a point to read your posts since then. You're cool in my book.

[Duke of Rat]

You know, stuff like this floors me. I honestly never imagined anyone noticed me or remembered anything about me. I saw myself was flying way-way-way below the Doper Radar. (Never make the Pit or "Favorite Posters" lists.)

I want to thank everyone for the kind things they have said about me. Getting Pitted is great!

I remember you because one of your dogs (Sirius, the little one) is very similar to my dog. scr4 has one pretty close as well.

You never know why somebody might remember you.

[Green Bean]

I didn't know your husband worked in a prison, either.

Lissa, you may not get singled out much, but please don't think that you're not noticed or appreciated. You are. Remember--with 7 years and 7 thousand posts, you can rest assured that when people say that the SDMB is the best place on the 'net, you're a big part of the reason why.

And I welcome information from anyone who has any particular knowledge or insight about our prison system. I'm very interested in the subject. I'd like to hear about it from any perspective.

Now, why don't you tell us what it's like to be the wife of a prison guard:
--Do you worry about his safety?
--What constitutes an average "good day" and an average "bad day" at work for him? What sorts of things cause him to be really stressed out or in a bad mood at the end of the day? How does this affect you?
--How do people react when they find out that he is a corrections officer? What assumptions do they make about him, about you, and about your marriage?
--Do you and your husband socialize with his coworkers outside of work?
--Does it make you feel good that your husband has a "tough guy" job instead of a wimpy job?
--What kinds of things do you do to help and support him that are specific to his line of work? (For example, my husband is a middle school science teacher. He often uses me as a test subject when designing labs and lessons.*)

Thanks.

* It's true that lying on a bed of nails won't cause puncture wounds. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt like a mofo! Ouch!

[Guinastasia]

Lissa, how DOES one get a job in a museum?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Well, I DID know, Lissa, that your husband is a deputy warden of a prison, because I recall your spirited defense of a minority opinion in a crime/prison-related Pit thread a while ago, and how you drew upon your understanding of your husband's experiences to back up your points. Well-argued points they were, too, and you used citations to him intelligently, not as just "Hubby says." You aren't jotted down in my book as a one-trick pony by any means. You ARE noted as someone who always composes well-written, well-considered posts.


(Jeepers, I hope people are as nice to me when I finally tick someone off enough to get pitted.)

[MrDibble]

Hey, I get it, lame pitting.

Lissa, I apologise if you think I was flaming you, as that wasn't my intent. I hope you can tell, from the OP, that I did know who you are, and I wasn't picking on anything except that one little niggle. This was not an attack on your personality. Like everyone else here, I think you often post interesting stuff, and I certainly don't think you're a one-trick pony. It was just the phrase, in that thread, that made me realise that that's how I'd gotten to thinking about you, and I wanted to point it out.

Sorry again for the lame-o pitting, especially if it really offended you, but even if you just laughed it off.

[Seven]

In that vein, I now adress questions from Seven that I did not notice until now. (With apologies.)

About seven years. He currently works in medium security, but he also worked in a SuperMax for a while.

He works with all types of inmates, really. He has guys in there for murder as well as guys in there for fraud. Inmates are classified by security risk in the state system, (as opposed to federal) not by their crime. SuperMax is different. You only go to SuperMax if you commit a violent crime while in prison, or are deemed to be a security threat, like a super notorious criminal, or member of a violent, powerful group.

He was the investigator for the prison for a few years, so, yeah, he did check cakes sometimes . . . snack cakes mailed into inmates sometimes contain drugs. He got to do a lot of really cool detective-stuff, go on house raids, be in a high-speed car chase, do interrogations, use lie detectors, as well as examine and gather clues from crime scenes. Man, has he got some awesome stories.

But, no, he wouldn't eat the cake. He's described some of the houses he's busted for trying to smuggle in contraband to inmates. You wouldn't want to eat stuff that came out of those kitchens.

Well, realize that the average inmate isn't in there because he's a genius. Usually, escape plans consist of, "Hey, I bet if I ran right now, I could climb that fence. That razor wire doesn't look that sharp."

Most of Hubby's investigations were extremely simple to solve. All he and his partner had to do was outwit someone who wasn't all that bright.*

But there have been some really clever ideas the inmates have had. It's not usually to escape-- that's pretty rare-- but plans to smuggle things in or out, making contraband** and things like that. Some of them are brilliant manipulators.

Blah-blah-blah. My husband works in a prison. Blah-blah-blah.









I'm just kidding (OP and all). I've always thought working in a prison would be damn interesting.

[Lissa]

--Do you worry about his safety?

I do, but just like the wife of a cop, you've just got to kiss him goodbye in the morning and hope for the best. He's not usually on the "front lines", so to speak. He's in the administrative buildings most of the time, but he has been in a few fights, and once, if a co-worker hadn't tackled a guy who was holding a huge metal box above his head in a fight, his skull would have been crushed.

He considers all the guards and other staff to be "his people." If an alarm goes off, he rushes to see if he can be of assistance. His hero is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, so that tells you something.

What constitutes an average "good day" and an average "bad day" at work for him? What sorts of things cause him to be really stressed out or in a bad mood at the end of the day? How does this affect you?

Most of his problems are personnel conflicts-- squabbles amongst the staff. He's always joked that if it were just him and the inmates, his job would be cake.

How do people react when they find out that he is a corrections officer? What assumptions do they make about him, about you, and about your marriage?

Again, he's not an officer. He's deputy warden. People usually react the way you did-- with lots of questions. As for our marriage, they probably assume the worst, because the divorce rate in his insititution is massive.

Do you and your husband socialize with his coworkers outside of work?

Yes we do, when we can't make excuses any more. ;) I'm a pretty anti-social person, so we only go out infrequently, and when we do, it's usually with co-workers of his.

Does it make you feel good that your husband has a "tough guy" job instead of a wimpy job?

No. Honestly, I'd rather he taught fulll-time. It's his true calling.

What kinds of things do you do to help and support him that are specific to his line of work? (For example, my husband is a middle school science teacher. He often uses me as a test subject when designing labs and lessons.*)

I give him as much advice as I can, and often, help him plan various events with the inmates and things with the staff. It's often good to get the viewpoint of an outsider, because I may think of things he missed, or be able to give him another perspective.

As to how I got my job in the museum, I began as a volunteer, and a year later, they hired me as staff. The museum field is one of the last where experience often means more than education. We once had an intern with a master's degree who lamented that she couldn't get a job like mine (cleaning artifacts, leading tours, etc.) because no one would hire someone who didn't have any experience, no matter how well-educated.

I'm going to be gone for the next four days, so don't think I'm ignoring you guys.

[Lissa]

I remember that you worked in a museum from the time we got in an argument about the looted museum in Baghdad. I've made it a point to read your posts since then. You're cool in my book.

And that, friends, is how I measure success: not if those who agree with me like me, but rather if I have the respect of those who hold diffrerent views.

[lieu]

Well if this thread won't warm your cockles, I'm not sure what will. This place really works. It corrects injustices and gives credit where it's rightly due. At first I was annoyed by the inanity of the OP but it would now appear dopers have managed to craft some good from it. What a crew.

[Giraffe]

Well if this thread won't warm your cockles, I'm not sure what will. This place really works. It corrects injustices and gives credit where it's rightly due. At first I was annoyed by the inanity of the OP but it would now appear dopers have managed to craft some good from it. What a crew.Fuck you, that's why!

Oh, wait. Nevermind.

[Siege]

Why doesn't someone open a thread in IMHO and see if we can reach a consensus about when and how often it's appropriate to cite what's behind one's knowledge in various forums? Obviously GD would be more stringent than MPSIMs, but I suspect the BBQ Pit would be close. I'd do it myself, but I wouldn't be able to give it much attention until Monday at the earliest.

[Kythereia]

You know, this is the first Pit thread that's ever given me warm and fuzzies upon reading it.

:dubious: :)

[tomndebb]

OK, I have a solution that should make MrDibble happier while satisfying the need to identify Lissa's credentials when invoking her husband's experience.

Whenever Lissa is about to say "My husband the assistant warden at a correctional facility who also teaches sociology and criminology courses at the university level..." she should simply substitue the hyperlinked "My husband (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7359645#post7359645)..." or, perhaps, "My (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7359645#post7359645) husband (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7359972#post7359972)..." and all should be well.

:D

[Frank]

Why doesn't someone open a thread in IMHO and see if we can reach a consensus about when and how often it's appropriate to cite what's behind one's knowledge in various forums?
I have always thought that "My post is my cite," is quite sufficient.

[Stainz]

All I knew about Lissa is that she posts a lot of dog related questions.

The "husband who works in a prison" part doesn't come up in those threads, IIRC.

[Miller]

All I knew about Lissa is that she posts a lot of dog related questions.

The "husband who works in a prison" part doesn't come up in those threads, IIRC.

"My husband works in a prison and my dog is sick. Does anyone have any advice on my dog for me and my husband, who works in a prison? Thanks in advance from me, and from my husband who works in a prison!"

:D

[Asimovian]

Fuck you, that's why!

Oh, wait. Nevermind.I was *this* close to still having water in my mouth when I read that. Your Keyboard Replacement Fund is safe for another day.

[Mellivora capensis]

Your Keyboard Replacement Fund is safe for another day.

Not true. I'm filling in the claim form as we speak.

Damned pack-hunting giraffes...

[Lissa]

All I knew about Lissa is that she posts a lot of dog related questions.

The "husband who works in a prison" part doesn't come up in those threads, IIRC.

And I could slip it in there easily, too. He developed a pound rescue program for puppies at his prison. Inmate raise and train the puppies in the hopes that some of them will be good enough to get into guide-dog school. (The others are adopted by the community.) It's had amazing results, not only for the community, but for the inmates themselves.

As he said, one of the most rewarding moments of his career was when a defiant jerk of an inmate was put into a dorm where the puppies were being raised. Hubby would go down to the unit sometimes and see that spiteful, hostile inmate reduced to fits of giggles as he sat on the floor and the puppies tumbled over him. A couple of days later, the young man approached Hubby to ask how he could be assigned a puppy. Since he had been a discipline problem before, he wouldn't usually have made the cut, but Hubby struck a deal with him that if the inmate stayed out of trouble for a certain length of time, he'd see to it that the inmate was approved.

He said after the inmate got the puppy, he was a new man. They no longer had problems with him, except for being stopped in halls for the inmate to show them new tricks that the pup had learned.

The dog he trained was not accepted into the guide-dog school. No one wanted to adopt it because it was a large-breed, and to tell the truth, kinda ugly. The inmate was not unhappy about this, because it meant he got to keep the dog for about two years.

Then, reports started coming in that the dog was being protective of the inmate and of his bunk space. Of course, this is unacceptable. Hubby called the inmate to his office and said that unfortunately, the dog would have to leave, and while he hated to do it, the only thing they could do was put it back in the pound.

The inmate begged, argued and protested, and while Hubby felt really bad for the guy, the safety of thr inmates in his care has to be top priority. The inmate was finally resigned to it, but begged to be allowed to have three more days with the dog. Hubby agreed.

On the second day, a group of inmates came to Hubby's office, and asked to speak to him about the dog. "Honestly, my first instinct was to send them away," he admitted to me when recounting this story. For the past twenty four hours, he had been besieged with pleas to allow the inmate to keep the dog. Everyone in the dorm had signed a petition. He always told them that he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do. If an inmate was ever bitten by a dog, the whole program would probably end. But he decided to hear them out.

When they sat down, he told them that he regretted what he had to do, but if they were here to argue with him, they were wasting their time. Oh, no, it wasn't that, the inmates said hastily. They wanted to ask him if they could add someone to the list of those to whom they are approved to send money. They had spent the last 24 hours making calls, trying to find someone who would adopt the dog, so it wouldn't go to the pound. They had found someone, but she wasn't in the best financial condition, so they wanted to send her the money to pay for the adoption fees and food and had to have his approval to get the list changed. Hubby told them he would see to it personally that the addition was put through immediately.

The dogs have brought out the best in those people. I was a bit hesitant when Hubby first proposed the idea, thinking inmates might be cruel to the puppies, but it hasn't been the case. Instead, it's been a hugely rewarding experience all around.