Male anatomy question

[Cisco]

*OK, im going to go ahead and say it up front. This thread is about testicles, if you dont want to read about testicles then stop now.*




For anyone mature (or immature) enough to have read this far...i have a question. Have you ever looked intently at your testicles for any amount of time? They move! And not just a pulse or a breathing-induced movement. They seem to have a definate, 'tidal-like' movement, slow as it may be. Or at least mine do. Am i totally fucked up or has anyone else noticed this? What is it?

[lucie]

Nope, that's normal. Watched it plenty of times myself. It's really weird the first time you see it, sort of like there are these alien creatures slowly shifing position. WAG - something to do with temperature regulation?

[kanicbird]

here's a test
drive along an interstate, at least 16 mph faster then the speed limit and faster then anyone else.
once you pass a speedtrap, you should feel your balls getting sucked into you body.

in short they do move

[Bassguy]

Temperature regulation it is (assuming you're not screaming past a speedtrap--see above)

Testes, ummmmm, "work" best at slightly below body temperature. So if you're really hot, ( no snide comments) they descend to cool off and if you're really cold, they snuggle up to stay warm. This phenomenon has led to the horrible experience of "shrinkage" after swimming in cold water and the myth that a session in a hot tub is an effective birth control method. (They get too hot and it kills the sperm. Right.)

It is an interesting way to start or finish a conversation: "Honey, wanna watch my balls move?"

[Aglarond]

I've watched it a few times myself trying to figure out what the hell they were doing. I never could bring myself to ask anybody about it, though. I have no idea what it's about.

[Crusoe]

Oh please, everyone knows they only move when the larva are ready to hatch.

[FarTreker]

Let this be a lesson to you, girls. Don't judge a man by his package after he's been sitting in cold water. Everything shrinks up for a bit afterwards.

[yabob]

You are watching a natural thermostat in action. The scrotum also responds to levels of tension, tightening up to protect valuable resources in "fight or flight" situations.

I just had a strange thought, though. For most involuntary muscular responses, some people seem to have concious control over them, and in some cases you can learn concious control of them. If you wanted to go to the effort, could you learn to make your scrotum do tricks? Maybe alternately tighten up one side then the other to "juggle your balls"?

You can, of course, tighten up your groin muscles to draw your testicles upwards, but the scrotum doesn't change. At least I can do that - for all I know it might be one of those things like wiggling your ears or furling your tongue that some people can do and some can't.

Exit, singing "Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in bow ..."

[FarTreker]

'Can you throw 'em o'er yer shoulder like a Continental soldier?'

[Lumpy]

Originally posted by Bassguy
It is an interesting way to start or finish a conversation: "Honey, wanna watch my balls move?" My wife doesn't have to ask. She discovered a ticklish spot on my stomach that all she has to do is stroke it and <FFWTH> my testicles hike up. She finds this hysterically funny.

[Angkins]

Now you all KNOW I am going to HAVE TO check this out!!

****Yeah, honey....are you busy? Come here for a minute, and would you mind taking your pants down? Why? Well, I just wanna watch your balls move. :D****

[Bubble Girl]

Oh please, everyone knows they only move when the larva are ready to hatch.
ewwwwwwwwww....gross mattk!

This is interesting though, I did not know this. I learn more new stuff every day just by reading the board. I'm with Angkins, I'm definately going to have to look into this just to see for myself. ;)

[LittleStar]

Yeah, I know...MY BALLS DO THE SAMMMEEE THING! (Fifi and Sparky find all of this absolutely HILARIOUS, by the way..) Actually, j/k...I don't have any testicles, but I'm sure if I did, they'd be doing the dance all day long. :)

[Homer]

Man, yet another involuntary muscle I'm going to have to isolate and master. I can slow my heart, can I jiggle my balls?

I'm going to have to spend time in the bathroom with a mirror. Well, okay, so I already do that... but now I'll have a purpose.

--Tim

[Monster104]

Well, I've found a way to make my testicles move up and down...it's kinda like flexing pecs, only doing it with your testicles.

...I guess that's not a very good analogy, is it...

[Angkins]

Originally posted by Homer
Man, yet another involuntary muscle I'm going to have to isolate and master. I can slow my heart, can I jiggle my balls?

I'm going to have to spend time in the bathroom with a mirror. Well, okay, so I already do that... but now I'll have a purpose.

--Tim


OH the images that conjured up in my dirty little mind!

Make sure when you jiggle your balls you [i]DON'T[/i/ use your hands ;)

[Lizard]

Originally posted by yabob
If you wanted to go to the effort, could you learn to make your scrotum do tricks? Maybe alternately tighten up one side then the other to "juggle your balls"?


Well, now my plans for this evening are set. I'm going to train my scrotum!

But seriously...these days I'd settle for just using it for it's intended function. :D

[yosemite]

A slight hijack...

A friend of mine tells the long story (I won't relate it all here, and after all, it is his story) of riding his motorcycle for a long time in cold weather. He wasn't wearing warm enough clothing for the temperature. Apparently his privates sort of got shy and shrunk up inside him, much to his dismay.

He went to a gas station, and pulled down his pants and attempted to warm up the affected area by positioning himself under one of those electric hand-dryer things. Just then the gas station attendant walked in. My very embarrassed friend had to explain what had happened.

[darkcool]

Homer, try this:
Lay (or stand) perfectly still. When you 'nads are still, tighten the muscles you would to stop pee flow for just a second then release They will start churning. At least mine do.

Careful about that juggling though, could get a twisted nut sack. No laughing matter!

[Homer]

Well, I watched for a while in the shower today.

Man, that's creepy lookin.

--Tim

[Ranma]

You guys have too much free time on your hands. ;)

[Homer]

That's not free time on my hands.

--Tim

[samclem]

Was gonna get my kids yo-yo's for Christmas, but you guys have solved my gift-giving early. And they're free. Thanks. :D

[tadpole]

for those that are interested, there is a muscle that runs down next to the spermatic cord and vessels to the testicle. There's one for each testicle. The muscle is called the cremaster (I guess this is latin for something or other - I should also admit that this is from my knowledge of animal anatomy as a vet though I presume it's the same for humans) and is the one responsible for pulling the testicles up or letting them down.

[yosemite]

Wow, tadpole! Welcome to the Straight Dope! You can always look back in pride and remember that your first post here on the SDMB was about testicles. ;)

[tadpole]

thank you! I'd been wondering when I'd get to use that um.. interesting tidbit of information....

[Aglarond]

It works! I can't really control them, yet, but I can make them go faster. Yes, I'm easily amused. I'll keep you updated on my progress.

[JoltSucker]

Not only do the testicles move, but so does the penis. I don't mean getting an erection, either. If you stare at your penis (assuming it's non-erect), you'll see that it expands and contracts, like an inchworm that's not going anywhere.

I know why my balls are moving, but why my penis?

[troub]

Originally posted by tadpole
. . .there is a muscle that runs down next to the spermatic cord and vessels to the testicle. There's one for each testicle. The muscle is called the cremaster . . .and is the one responsible for pulling the testicles up or letting them down.

Uh-oh. Since this thread seems to have started a new fad in personal, uh, fitness. . .

Move over Thighmaster, make way for the Cremaster-master!!!

[Edward The Head]

I've watched mine jump around too. my wife really thinks this is funny, she likes to run her fingernails on my inner thigh and they tend to jump. then she giggles and does it again. women.

[Aglarond]

My ex used to find mine funny, too. When we were gonig at it pretty good, she'd hop over to the side, throw the sheet over Mr. Happy and tell me to make him jump. That used to entertain her to no end. TMI?

Sorry about that.

[JoltSucker]

When I was prepubescent, I used to play lots of games with my penis. My two favorites were "hide the peepee" and "wave the peepee". The first involved stuffing the penis up inside the body, so there's almost nothing sticking out. The other involved contracting my muscles so that my penis would jump up and down. I could do it in time with music.

At the tender age of 11, I made the mistake of showing off my skills to my two younger sisters (I never did have any shame). They shrieked with laughter, and ran around the neighborhood telling everybody... I still get reminded of that from time to time.

[manhattan]

Each and every one of you guys is guilty of Heresy.

Of course testicles don't move. Everyone knows that testicles remain fixed and the universe moves around them.

Geez.

[darkcool]

Q: How many testicles does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One Pair. They just hold the lightbulb and the world revolves around them.

Sorry, Manny, I had to. :)

[Kupek]

I'd try this, but I'd freak out my roommate beyond beleif.

[darkcool]

I was waiting for this to load and re-read the OP. Cisco actually says "Have you ever looked intently at your testicles for any amount of time?".
Sorry, but this strikes me as really funny. Cisco setting around staring INTENTLY at his balls.

:snort:

:giggle:

BWAHAAHAA!!!!

Sorry, man, really, no offense meant. Honest.
But the mental image...

Damn, now I forgot what I was going to post.

Still friends? :)

[darkcool]

Oh, yeah:
Q: How do you tell if a girl is ticklish?

A: Give her a couple of test tickles!



Now I'm leaving to stare intently at my balls.

Hey, do we need a special smiley for this?

I could see it coming in handy like when someone is apparently not paying attention or is distracted.

Just don't name it after me!

[Aglarond]

I all for the smiley idea. It could be a smiley sitting at 270 degrees with a confused look on it's face. :testiclestare:

[Cartooniverse]

Originally posted by Bassguy
This phenomenon has led to the horrible experience of "shrinkage" after swimming in cold water and the myth that a session in a hot tub is an effective birth control method. (They get too hot and it kills the sperm. Right.)

As someone who went through more than four years of infertility treatment, I can TELL you that sperm dies at elevated temperatures. Avoiding hot baths, hot tubs and tighty whities are all recommended by the Doctor. Sorry, no myth. Don't even ask me for a cite, my god- try the AMA.

Cartooniverse, a 38 year old male

[Dolores Reborn]

Originally posted by Bassguy
Temperature regulation it is (assuming you're not screaming past a speedtrap--see above)

Testes, ummmmm, "work" best at slightly below body temperature. So if you're really hot, ( no snide comments) they descend to cool off and if you're really cold, they snuggle up to stay warm. <snip>

Why do they shrink or tighten up right before ejaculation? That's the only time I've noticed that they move, but I'll definitely have to look into this when I get home and see my husband!

[Aglarond]

Originally posted by Dolores Claiborne
Why do they shrink or tighten up right before ejaculation? That's the only time I've noticed that they move, but I'll definitely have to look into this when I get home and see my husband!

Honey, can I stare at your nuts for a minute?

[Olentzero]

Well, I've watched mine crawl around on occasion, of course utterly fascinated. I knew it probably had something to do with temperature regulation but it wasn't something I talked about.

Until I met Mrs. O.

Her favorite line on this subject is "Oh, the boys are tryin' to escape again." She likes to blow on 'em and cool them down, then make sound effects as she watches 'em crawl up into my abdominal cavity.

One interesting side effect of inguinal hernia surgery in '92 - my leftie will literally disappear inside after an orgasm. Always freaks me out; I'm afraid it won't come back out again afterwards!

[aenea]

What you guys need is one of those cool testical isolators. They are big blue cloth thingies, with a nice little oval shaped hole in the middle. You cover everything and then pull just the sac thru the hole. Wierd looking, but effective! :D