What fictional characters would you actually want to be friends with?

[Skald the Rhymer]

Lots of fictional characters -- maybe most of them -- are only fun to read about, not to hang out with. I mean, would you really want to be acquainted with Batman? Even apart from the fact that that would involve living on DC-Earth (yearly alien invasions! daily volcanic eruptions! and every ten years, history gets rewritten!) and in Gotham City (2005 murder rate: 1 in 10), you'd be hanging with a man who was apparently potty-trained at gunpoint. Likewise Lazarus Long is a bit of a jerk (and would probably have slept with your wife), and Mal Reynolds, though loyal, is constantly getting his friends killed.

But some characters are different. Some are worth knowing. For example, if I lived in his world, I wouldn't mind being friends with Earl Hickey (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Name_is_Earl) -- post-list, of course. Not overly serious. Sense of humor coupled with a sense of honor. Life has a reasonable purpose but he's not a git about it.

What about the rest of you?

[Chez Guevara]

Anybody but Cosmo Kramer.

[Love Rhombus]

(Peter)Conway from James White's Sector General series. Brilliant, regular guy willing to go all out for his e-t patients and friends, and just considerate and caring as you could want in a pal. And if I meet Murchison before he does....naw, I wouldn't deny him.

[Fish Cheer]

I'd like to be friends with the Buchmans. They're nice.

[Anaamika]

I'd be friends with Ford Prefect. Seems like a pretty laid-back guy. Goes to lots of parties, too.

[msmith537]

I think it would be cool to be friends with Jack Bauer. Because I wouldn't want to be ANY kind of his enemy.

[Sarahfeena]

Anne Shirley, from Anne of Green Gables. Nice, but not TOO nice. Spunky, but not TOO spunky. Smart, but not TOO smart. She has everything going for her. In fact, forget about wanting to be friends with her...I want to BE her.

Nancy Drew would be good, too, because life is always exciting when she is around. But...she's a little too perfect, which is annoying, and sometimes she gets her friends into some very tight scrapes.

[control-z]

I'd like to hang out with the Seinfeld gang, they'd be fun.

Or Oliver Douglas from Green Acres. We could whip that farm into shape and there's always the chance I could score with his wife. :D

Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes would be fun too.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Or Oliver Douglas from Green Acres. We could whip that farm into shape and there's always the chance I could score with his wife. :D



You must have a fairly relaxed definition of "friend." :dubious:

[pinkfreud]

I've always imagined myself as a solver of mysteries. When I was very young, I fantasized about hanging out with Nancy Drew. Now that I am a lot older, I can see myself fraternizing with Miss Marple. Or, if I wanted fewer tea-cozies and more hard-boiled action, I could be V.I. Warshawski's sidekick.

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

You must have a fairly relaxed definition of "friend." :dubious:
He just meant he'd like to score a plate of them hotscakes.

Me, I'd be buddies with Arnold Ziffel.

[Mahaloth]

Han Solo - He's just plain cool.

Legolas - Any elf would be awesome, but he's the coolest.

Any crew member on Firefly, especially Mal or Wash. - Do I have to explain?

Captain Jack Sparrow - Just for laughs.

Inigo Montoya - Any trouble? Meet my vindictive, sword-crazy friend Inigo.

Maverick(from the movie, not the show). - More trouble? Meet my funny, quick-draw friend.

[Kamino Neko]

I mean, would you really want to be acquainted with Batman? Even apart from the fact that that would involve living on DC-Earth (yearly alien invasions! daily volcanic eruptions! and every ten years, history gets rewritten!) and in Gotham City (2005 murder rate: 1 in 10), you'd be hanging with a man who was apparently potty-trained at gunpoint.

Batman, no, but much of his supporting cast.

Alfred seems like a really good egg, and seems to have a sharp sense of humour when appropriate (and a good ear for when it's appropriate!). And he's discrete, so if you need a confidant, he's the one.

Both the last two Robins (before Steph got killed (grr)) would be cool to hang with (although I've no idea how I would end up hanging with them).

Oracle...geek girl. 'Nuff said. OK, hot geek girl, but that's of little importance, for friends.

Catwoman...I think we'd bore eachother, to be honest, but we'd get along well enough in a group.

Other DCU characters I'd like to hang with:

Jack Knight - there's enough overlap in our obsessions for us to get along, and I'd be a rapt audience for most of his stories.

Bonfire, from Young Heroes in Love - she's a HUGE superhero fangirl. We'd probably scare off everyone else while we blabbed incessently about it. Also hot, and on the same team as Offramp, who is also hot.

[Kamino Neko]

Oh, and most of the Levitz era Legion of Superheroes played D&D a lot...I'd love to be in their group. <_<

[Troy McClure SF]

Kaylee Frye.

Of course, one of my friends pretty much already is Kaylee.

[Dr. Rieux]

Travis McGee and Meyer.

[JThunder]

Kaylee Frye.

Of course, one of my friends pretty much already is Kaylee.
So, um... How she doin'?

[OtakuLoki]

Tenzil Kem. Yes, to be his friend, I'd put up with living in the 30th Century and all the madness therein.

Miles Vorkosigan. (And most of his acquaintances)

Blind Seer, from Jane Lindskold's Firekeeper books. With friends like that, you don't often have enemies. :D

Abigail Hearns, Lady Owens, from the Honorverse would also be interesting, too.

Shannon Forakker, of course. (Same origin)

Izumi Noa of Special Vehicles 2 (Patlabor).

Kanuka Clancy of the NYPD (Patlabor).

Princess Kushana from Miyazaki's Nausicaa. I doubt her long-term chances of survival, let alone those of anyone near her, but it would be an interesting life, while it lasted.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Tenzil Kem. Yes, to be his friend, I'd put up with living in the 30th Century and all the madness therein.
.

Um--Matter-Eater Lad?

I don't get it. Care to explain, or is it just the scanty attire most of his female teammates sport?

[control-z]

Tenzil Kem. Yes, to be his friend, I'd put up with living in the 30th Century and all the madness therein.

Miles Vorkosigan. (And most of his acquaintances)

Blind Seer, from Jane Lindskold's Firekeeper books. With friends like that, you don't often have enemies. :D

Abigail Hearns, Lady Owens, from the Honorverse would also be interesting, too.

Shannon Forakker, of course. (Same origin)

Izumi Noa of Special Vehicles 2 (Patlabor).

Kanuka Clancy of the NYPD (Patlabor).

Princess Kushana from Miyazaki's Nausicaa. I doubt her long-term chances of survival, let alone those of anyone near her, but it would be an interesting life, while it lasted.


I have no idea what you just said. Must be an anime thing.

[LiveOnAPlane]

I'd go with Travis McGee. The book Travis, not the movie Travis.

A cool, caring guy with some really fascinating friends.

And hey, he lives on a houseboat!

[jali]

Richard Jury, Melrose Plant

Phoebe Bouffet, Ross and Monica Geller, Joey Tribiani, Chandler Bing, Rachel Green

Joe from Zoom

[Hey, It's That Guy!]

J.D., Elliot, Turk, and Carla from Scrubs.
Jim and Pam from The Office.
Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, and Rupert Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Jack Knight, the Shade, Blue Beetle II (RIP), Slam Bradley, Jake "Bobo" Bennetti, Wildcat, Catwoman, Elongated Man, Wesley Dodds, Dian Belmont, and Zatanna from DC Comics.
Dr. Peter Venkman and the rest of the Ghostbusters.

[OtakuLoki]

Um--Matter-Eater Lad?

I don't get it. Care to explain, or is it just the scanty attire most of his female teammates sport?


Well, considering that I'm a reasonably healthy heterosexual male, this is not an inconsiderable attraction.

Having said that, though - it's more because I think he's neat. I've got a fondness for trickster characters, and he's perhaps the most restful trickster I can think of. It's not that he's above the usual flaws of the trickster, rather he's less random in his effects than most tricksters.

He's safer to be around than, say, Loki, or Coyote or even Bugs Bunny.

control-z, sorry. Patlabor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patlabor) is the title of a very well-done anime series.

If you don't know who Miyazaki is, or look down on the idea of animated films for grown ups, go out and rent Spirited Away (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245429/) . Now. ;)

[Clockwork And Candy]

1. Rebecca Davitch - Back When We Were Grownups by Ann Tyler. She does so much and no one even appreciates it. :(

2. Alianne of Pirates Swoop - Trickster's Choice by Tamora Pierce.

3. The entire cast of The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede.

4. Auron - Final Fantasy X. But only if by "be friends with" you mean "violently rape".

5. Riccardo Belli - Demento/Haunting Ground.

6. Jared, the Goblin King - Labyrinth. See #4.

7. Luna Lovegood - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling.

8. Mr. Rohchester - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. Again, see #4.

9. Nymphadora Tonks - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling.

10. Madmartigan - Willow. So schmexy.

11. Indiana Jones - Indiana Jones and the ______.

12. Amélie Poulain - Amélie.

13. Heathcliff - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. See #4.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Having said that, though - it's more because I think [Matter-Eater Lad is] neat. I've got a fondness for trickster characters, and he's perhaps the most restful trickster I can think of. It's not that he's above the usual flaws of the trickster, rather he's less random in his effects than most tricksters.

He's safer to be around than, say, Loki, or Coyote or even Bugs Bunny.

Okay, now I'm even more confused. I'm familiar with the notion of the trickster character, but how do you see Tenzil as fitting that role? Has he changed post-Crisis? (Pre-crisis he had little personality, and the most significant things I can remember him doing are eating the Miracle Machine and outsmarting a super-strong bismollian by eating through a flagpost).

I'm not being a smart-ass; I'm interested, really.

[OtakuLoki]

Okay, now I'm even more confused. I'm familiar with the notion of the trickster character, but how do you see Tenzil as fitting that role? Has he changed post-Crisis? (Pre-crisis he had little personality, and the most significant things I can remember him doing are eating the Miracle Machine and outsmarting a super-strong bismollian by eating through a flagpost).

I'm not being a smart-ass; I'm interested, really.


Well, I'm mostly familiar with Tenzil from the stint that Tom and Mary Bierbaum did on the comic (LSH Vol 4). During that he struck me as a trickster, often forced into that role by virtue of the people he choose to challenge, but also in the sense of the team joker, too. If you never read it, you should look up the issue where Tenzil goes to earth to rescue Polar Boy from Earthgov. His attempt to cop an insanity plea for Polar Boy was fricken hilarious. Certainly I liked the story where he freed Saturn Queen from her husband Evillo's thrall. (Along with more than a few other people...)

[Cowgirl Jules]

Miles Vorkosigan. (And most of his acquaintances)

I dunno about Miles. He's likeable enough, but most of his friends have a horrible habit of ending up hurt, maimed, or dead. I could see partying it up with Ivan when he was in town though...

[Idlewild]

Mary Crawford from Mansfield Park. Sure, not a moral scruple to be seen but she'd be fun to hang out with. Maybe we could collect Becky Sharp in our fabulous literary time machine and see who was more of a conniving but intelligent dame. Ooh. And Lady Glencora Palliser and her good friend Madame Max who has more brains but slightly less charm than Lady Glen. Not that she doesn't have charm, but Lady Glen is just so over the top.

[Kamino Neko]

If you never read it, you should look up the issue where Tenzil goes to earth to rescue Polar Boy from Earthgov. His attempt to cop an insanity plea for Polar Boy was fricken hilarious. Certainly I liked the story where he freed Saturn Queen from her husband Evillo's thrall. (Along with more than a few other people...)

My favourite is when he's at the archaeological explidition that dug up the Batcave, and called the giant penny proof that gigantic presidents once roamed the galaxy. (He thought it was a manhole cover and scaled up the people from that...imagine how big the Titan Presidents of Bismol would have been if he'd realised it was a coin!)

My Legionnaire-friends-of-choice: Tenz, Chuck, post-Emerald Vi post-ZH Shrinking Violet, post-ZH Dream Girl.

[OtakuLoki]

I dunno about Miles. He's likeable enough, but most of his friends have a horrible habit of ending up hurt, maimed, or dead. I could see partying it up with Ivan when he was in town though...


Well, safety isn't exactly the top priority on my list. You're talking to the person who put Tenzil Kem on his list as an allegedly safe companion. I'll take my chances around Miles. Besides, it's safer being his friend than his enemy. ;)

[Antinor01]

Richie Rich. Who wouldn't want to be friends with the richest boy in the world?

[Linty Fresh]

Two that immediately spring to mind are George Smiley and Arkady Renko.

They're both smart (Smiley abnormally so), and they seem like they'd be pretty undemanding. They wouldn't try to pry too hard into your life, and they'd probably be rather tolerant of your idiosyncracies, since both are unusual enough in their own right.

I've got a thing for quiet, unassuming people who nevertheless manage to crack the case or save their country. Smiley and Renko are probably my two favorite fictional characters overall.

[silenus]

Nanny Og - as a drinking buddy and general baud

Havelock Vetenari - as an advisor

Cohen the Barbarian - as an enforcer

Kaylee Frye - as a friend with privileges


:D

[Taran]

I dunno about Miles. He's likeable enough, but most of his friends have a horrible habit of ending up hurt, maimed, or dead. I could see partying it up with Ivan when he was in town though...Most of?There's Illyan, but that wasn't Miles' fault.
There's Bothari, who had it coming and who could have stopped it but didn't.

My own choices:

Credeiki from Startide Rising would be interesting, on his own merits as well as the smartest sentient dolphin around.

Wiz Zumwalt from Rick Cook's Wizardry books seems like a stand-up guy.

Lupe dy Cazaril from The Curse of Chalion would be a good man to know, and very handy in a tight spot.

Andrew Hale from Declare always struck me as a man in need of a few good friends.

Brendan Doyle from The Anubis Gates for the same reason.

I'd say Janet from Tam Lin, but a) my motives are not entirely aboveboard, and b) I probably can't compete with her current boyfriend :(

[Chronos]

In no particular order:

Samwise Gamgee
Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, both
Odysseus
Catherine Montaigne, from the Honor Harrington books
Ellie Arrowway, from Contact
Manuel O'Kelly Davis, from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Also Mycroft, of course.
Dr. Susan Calvin, of Asimov's robot stories. OK, so I also have a major crush on her, but I'd be willing to settle for "just friends".
Charles Wallace Murray, from A Wrinkle in Time and sequels
Jimmy the Hand, from the Riftwar books by Raymond E. Feist

[Skald the Rhymer]

Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, and Rupert Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Xander, definitely, But Willow? Too evil.

[ianzin]

Gort. (From 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'). A pretty good 'friend' to have around. Any problems and... zaaaaap!!!!

All three of the Three Men In A Boat. They'd be great company.

Julie in 'Day For Night'. Or Cathy in 'Bullitt'. Or Paula in 'The Mephisto Waltz'. Or Gail in 'The Deep'. In other words, someone who looked exactly like Jacqueline Bisset. I know not how to wish for more.

[pinkfreud]

I think the android Data, from "Star Trek: The Next Generation," would be a fascinating person to have as a friend. Hmmm, maybe even a "friend with benefits." Gotta check out that "fully functional" claim of his.

[delphica]

Most of?There's Illyan, but that wasn't Miles' fault.
There's Bothari, who had it coming and who could have stopped it but didn't.

I'd say Janet from Tam Lin, but a) my motives are not entirely aboveboard, and b) I probably can't compete with her current boyfriend :(

Hey, if you want to break them up, I'll make a play for Thomas and then it'll be easy sailing for you to get to Janet.

My own literary best friend is Philippa from the Lymond Chronicles. I have something like a 4th grade friend crush on her ... I just know that if we ever met, we'd be official Best Friends Forever. We could write BF4EVER!!!!! on all our notebooks. Or something.

The other fictional guy I want to be friends with is Cuthbert from The Dark Tower series. This predates the middle book in the set, so back when Cuthbert maybe had four paragraphs total in three books. This perplexed Mr. Del to no end. He's not even really in the book! I don't care, I just know we would be friends. I like his style and his offbeat sense of humor. Also, he can't possibly end up worse with me as a friend rather than Roland.

[ZipperJJ]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. I love all of the perception puzzles! I'd want to be friends with Watson too so we can rant to eachother about how frustrating it is to be friends with Holmes.

Jeeves from Jeeves & Wooster. He is indeed a gentleman's gentleman.

All the guys from Trailer Park Boys, including J-Rock. As long as they never caught wind of the fact that I had a paycheck. I would drive them places for the free weed, get my smokes from Corey and Trevor, and hang out at Kitty Land with Bubbles.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

I think the android Data, from "Star Trek: The Next Generation," would be a fascinating person to have as a friend. Hmmm, maybe even a "friend with benefits." Gotta check out that "fully functional" claim of his.

Maybe THIS (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=376566&highlight=rise) will help, pinkfreud.

Although, I must admit that R. Dorothy Wayneright leapt to mind (and other bodily functions) as soon as I read your post.

[Trunk]

The Dude, from The Big Lebowski

Harold and/or Kumar.

Trent Walker from Swingers.

[Trunk]

And Homer.

Definitely Homer.

[Shirley Ujest]

The Weasley's.

Mr. Darcy.

Marcus Didius Falco & Petronius.

Robin Hood.

[gigi]

Elizabeth Bennett, or Elizabeth and Darcy as a couple.
Bridget Jones, or Bridget and Darcy as a couple.

Jay and Silent Bob.

[Dangerosa]

Elizabeth Bennet (though Darcy does nothing for me - what a stiff) and her father.

Anne of Green Gables.

Elinor Dashwood would be a great friend to have. If she can be that loyal to Lucy Stone - who she doesn't even like, she is the kind of friend you want.

[NicePete]

The first two that come to mind are Stephen Maturin and Kilgore Trout. And maybe Hagbard Celine.

[Strinka]

Greg House. Yes, that Greg House.

[Beware of Doug]

Books: Dirk Gently would be great company, in a maddening, what-won't-he-do-next kind of way.

Movies: I'd like to be Fletch's drinking buddy. He doesn't seem to have any. I'd've enjoyed working with Mike Connor and Liz Imbrie from The Philadelphia Story, and probably would have made a play for Liz.

Television: I would love hanging, platonically or otherwise, with Roz Doyle (of Frasier), or being a weekend guest at the Solomons' (of [i]3rd Rock from the Sun/i]).

[The Chao Goes Mu]

Off the top of my head, quickly.

1. Gil Grissom CSI

2. Owen Meany from A Prayer for Owen Meany

3. Sara Sidle CSI

4. Al Swearengen Deadwood

5. Trixie the Whore Deadwood

6. Thelma and Louise

7. Han Solo

8. The Blues Brothers

9. I have to second Nice Pete's selections of Kilgore Trout and Hagbard Celine.

10. Hurley from Lost

11. Elliot Rosewater God Bless You Mr. Rosewater

That's all for right now.

[teela brown]

Jack Aubrey and/or Stephen Maturin

Jack's a disingenuous, straightforward, happy guy. He'd be the guy I'd like to dine and drink with.

Stephen's a complex, brilliant moody fellow. I'd hang with him to talk about books and philosophy and bugs and birds 'n' things. But not intelligence. He's too close-lipped to let one word drop.

[control-z]

Daisy Duke. :D

[shelbo]

Gus McCrae from Lonesome Dove. Just to hang on the porch on a hot summer day, trading pulls from a jug, watching the stoats chase snakes, talking about life. And maybe later, mosey into town for a beer and a poke, and a few hands of cards.

[Rhiannon8404]

Greg House. Yes, that Greg House.
Me, too! Especially if I could say mean, catty things to that insipid Dr. Cameron. I can't stand her.

Abbie Carmichael, former Law & Order ADA

[Lissla Lissar]

Rae, Aimil, and Mel, from Sunshine

Claire, from Outlander

I think the original Lissla Lissar might be a bit difficult. I don't really like dogs that much.

Takver and maybe Shevek, from The Dispossessed

The Disreputable Dog, from Lirael

If I were arranging a party, I think I'd invite all of the above, plus Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, Asher and Devorah Lev, and maybe Rosie (from Spindle's End), plus Rupert Giles and Shepherd Book. And Wash.

It would be interesting.

[Clockwork And Candy]

...Rae, Aimil, and Mel, from Sunshine...and maybe Rosie (from Spindle's End)It would be interesting...


I thought that I was the only person in the world who likes Robin McKinley. It's cool to know that she has other fans. She'd better right a sequal to Sunshine. 'Cause if she doesn't... ::shakes fist::

On topic, I'd like to be friends with Titus from the Gormenghast novels. I think that we'd get along.

[Fish]

Um. If it is even possible for him to make friends in the way I think of "friends," then Q.

If he can only make friends in the "I'm going to abuse you every once in a while but I really don't mean it and I'll change it all back at the end of the episode," then... well, maybe still Q.

If not, then probably the Magician Trent from Xanth. He does know how to make friends, even though he is a bit of a bastard about it sometimes.

[Der Trihs]

4. Auron - Final Fantasy X. But only if by "be friends with" you mean "violently rape".I just have to quote Auron : "Some just can't wait to die !" :)

Some I'd like :

Emperor Colin McIntyre of the Fifth Imperium, although I'd avoid going into battle with him. Interesting universe, impressive technology ( warships bigger than the moon ! ), and you can live for centuries. Plus, he's a good guy, and as my friend he'll let me play with his cool toys.

Victor Cachat from the Honorverse. Interesting guy, we agree on a lot, and I'd never need to worry about enemies again - or not for long. Plus, unlike Honor Harrington, his friends tend to live.

Captain Picard would be nice to know, if a little dry. Kirk would be better to go out for fun with.

Flinx would be a good friend, I think, and he can use some.

[BMalion]

Lady Chatterly. :D

[Trunk]

Debbie.

[Lissla Lissar]

I thought that I was the only person in the world who likes Robin McKinley. It's cool to know that she has other fans.

There are a lot of Robin McKinley fans here. My username's from Deerskin, which was my favourite of her novels. Don't get hopeful about the Sunshine sequel- she writes very slowly.

I work in a bookstore and I feel it is my personal duty to acquaint the world with Robin McKinley, Tad Williams, Garth Nix, Michael Ende, Chaim Potok, and Nigel Slater. Everyone's got to have a purpose in life, right?

[Elendil's Heir]

Wow! Some great suggestions - and gave me some ideas, too. I wouldn't mind hanging with:

Earl and Randy Hickey... and Catalina! Rowwrr. I love the My Name is Earl universe. Just keep Joy well away from me.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Stimulating puzzles, grand adventures, wonderful Victorian atmosphere.

Wallace and Gromit. Zany inventions and lots o' fun.

Kirk, Spock and McCoy: a friendship for the ages. Beam me up, Scotty!

The West Wing as an NSC staffer during the Santos Administration (just to see how it goes).

The Seinfeld gang. I'd be laughing all the time, so they'd probably become irritated with me, but still....

Han Solo and Chewie. 'Way cool and lots of fun.

The Nine of The Fellowship of the Ring. I'd like to go along for their adventures. Plenty more of Middle-earth to see.

The crew of Deep Space Nine, especially O'Brien and Dr. Bashir.

Bertie Wooster and Jeeves. Maybe I could be one of Bertie's dissolute friends from the Drones Club? Guess I'd better get started on developing a taste for martinis and bloody marys, though.

The Big Lebowski bowling buddies. The Dude abides, and there are times that I'd like to be there with him.

I wouldn't mind being a friend down the hall from Dr. Frasier Crane and his dad.

Or I could be a next-door neighbor of the Parr family from The Incredibles. On second thought... considering the risk of supervillains' jets falling from the sky, maybe I'd better be a few houses down the street.

Lastly, hanging out with the boys from Ghostbusters would be a blast, even though I have very little technical experience with unlicensed particle accelerators.

[Cluricaun]

Spenser and Hawk from Robert B. Parker’s Spenser books.
Bluto from Animal House
Scott Evil from Austin Powers
Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid
Val Kilmer’s Doc Holiday from Tombstone
The Dread Pirate Roberts from The Princess Bride
Obi Wan (the Alec Guinness one) from Star Wars
The T100 from Terminator 2
Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons

[Chronos]

Victor Cachat from the Honorverse.!!!!

Well, I suppose I wouldn't want to be his enemy, at any rate...

Oh, and another one for my list, Mike Slackenerny (http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/aboutcomics.html). Except that I sometimes worry that I am Mike Slackernerny.

[Skald the Rhymer]

Spenser and Hawk from Robert B. Parker’s Spenser books.


I came back to the thread to mention Hawk, whom I thought of today at the movies. With him at your side, you'd never have to worry about having enough suits for your group; people just give him stuff.

[Labdad]

Two that immediately spring to mind are George Smiley and Arkady Renko.

Smiley is the one who first came to mind for me, too. Because, if we were friends, we might be sitting around the fire one evening having a whiskey when he'd say something like this:

"Sometimes I think the most vulgar thing about the Cold War was the way we learned to gobble up our own propaganda," he said with the most benign of smiles. "I don't mean to sound didactic, and of course in a way we'd done it all through our history. But in the Cold war, when our enemies lied, they lied to conceal the wretchedness of their system. Whereas when we lied, we concealed our virtues. Even from ourselves. We concealed the very things that made us right. Our respect for the individual, our love of variety and argument, our belief that you can only govern fairly with the consent of the governed, our capacity to see the other fellow's view - most notably in the countries we exploited, almost to death, for our own ends. In our supposed ideological rectitude, we sacrificed our compassion to the great god of indifference. We protected the strong against the weak, and we perfected the art of the public lie. We made enemies of decent reformers and friends of the most disgusting potentates. And we scarcely paused to ask ourselves how much longer we could defend our society by these means and remain a society worth defending."

(From The Secret Pilgrim)

[Trunk]

Smiley is the one who first came to mind for me, too. Because, if we were friends, we might be sitting around the fire one evening having a whiskey when he'd say something like this:

"Sometimes I think the most vulgar thing about the Cold War was the way we learned to gobble up our own propaganda," he said with the most benign of smiles. "I don't mean to sound didactic, and of course in a way we'd done it all through our history. But in the Cold war, when our enemies lied, they lied to conceal the wretchedness of their system. Whereas when we lied, we concealed our virtues. Even from ourselves. We concealed the very things that made us right. Our respect for the individual, our love of variety and argument, our belief that you can only govern fairly with the consent of the governed, our capacity to see the other fellow's view - most notably in the countries we exploited, almost to death, for our own ends. In our supposed ideological rectitude, we sacrificed our compassion to the great god of indifference. We protected the strong against the weak, and we perfected the art of the public lie. We made enemies of decent reformers and friends of the most disgusting potentates. And we scarcely paused to ask ourselves how much longer we could defend our society by these means and remain a society worth defending."

Right about then is when I'd yawn really wide and say, "George, I forgot to mention this, but I really need to get up in the morning."

And when he left, I'd call The Dude.

[Clothahump]

Most of mine have already been named, but here goes, in no particular order:

Spencer and Hawke
Kinsey Milhone
Holmes and Watson
Wiz Zumwalt and the gang
Nita and Kit
Gandalf
Dumbledore
Dr. Urth
Commander Vimes, Captain Carrot and The Librarian
R. Daneel Olivaw
Commander Data
Counselor Troi and Dr. Crusher

[Skald the Rhymer]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. I love all of the perception puzzles! I'd want to be friends with Watson too so we can rant to eachother about how frustrating it is to be friends with Holmes.


Hey, Holmes is probably a pretty good friend; I think you're confusing him with his dramatic descendant, Greg House. he has a distressing tendency to shoot indoors--but he's a good shot, and he never aims at Watson, and if the landlandy doesn't care, why should you? Holmes isn't one percent as misanthropic as House; he always makes sure Watson has a place to hang his hat between wives without making too much of a fuss; he never bugs Watson for money or is late with his share of the rent; he doesn't make the doctor wait outside the apartment for hours while he jerks off.

Nah, Holmes is a god guy.

[OneCentStamp]

1) Einstein, the sentient dog in Dean Koontz's Watchers.
- A dog as smart as any normal human, yet with an intellect that's still essentially doglike. What boy (and maybe girls too) hasn't fantasized about their dog being able to communicate, to understand them?

2) Larry Underwood from Stephen King's The Stand.
- There are a dozen characters from this story I'd love to be friends with, but Larry's fuckup-to-hero arc is something that has always stuck with me.

3) Philip Carey from W. Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage.
- This character is another of the best friends I had growing up.

4) The Childlike Empress from The Neverending Story. (film version)
- Oh, I'll call your name all right, honey. And you'd be screaming mine. What?

5) Leto Atreides (grandson) from Herbert's Children of Dune.
- Paul Atreides was never a very human or sympathetic character to me. Ironically, his son who made himself into an inhuman monster, was.

[Spiff]

Elastigirl, from The Incredibles.

For the obvious (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) reasons...

[cbawlmer]

The FBI guys and the non-evil townfolk of Twin Peaks, excluding Donna. She's whiny.

The aforementioned cast of DC Comics' Starman. In fact, I'd be friendly with a lot of the non-evil DC folks. Even Batman. Maybe not Booster Gold though.

Veronica Mars and her dad, Keith.

Most of the folks from Buffy and Angel, especially Giles and Wesley.

Delenn and G'Kar from Babylon 5.

Ferris Bueller

[OneCentStamp]

Elastigirl, from The Incredibles.

For the obvious (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) reasons...

What reasons? Utterly painless childbirths? Ability to take the trash out for herself (without even leaving the kitchen, at that)? Yep, sounds like an ideal spouse to me!

Oh, wait. You mean SEX stuff?!? ;)

[SmartAleq]

I'd hang out with the gang at Callahan's any day--no matter who stopped by I'm sure we'd have some fun, and I just love Irish Coffee...

[Gary "Wombat" Robson]

Gandalf (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gandalf) would be a cool friend to have--especially now that he has time to just hang around, smoke a bowl, and chat.

Rupert Giles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupert_Giles)

Albus Dumbledore (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albus_Dumbledore)

James Bolivar "Slippery Jim" diGriz, a.k.a. the Stainless Steel Rat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stainless_Steel_Rat)

Angus MacGuyver (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuyver)

Stile/the Blue Adept from the Apprentice Adept series

Vultan -- the leader of the Hawkmen from the Flash Gordon movie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_Gordon_%28film%29). Not only fun and entertaining, but a good guy to have at your back when trouble comes

Gil Grissom (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gil_Grissom) may be absent-minded, but I think he'd make a good friend.

Deanna Troi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deanna_Troi) from Star Trek TNG.

Stephanie Plum (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephanie_Plum) might make an interesting friend, but I would never loan her my car.

And SmartAleq came up with the best list by far: everyone at Callahan's Place (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Callahan%27s_Crosstime_Saloon), but especially Mike Callahan and Doc Webster.

[Linty Fresh]

Hey, Holmes is probably a pretty good friend; I think you're confusing him with his dramatic descendant, Greg House. he has a distressing tendency to shoot indoors--but he's a good shot, and he never aims at Watson, and if the landlandy doesn't care, why should you? Holmes isn't one percent as misanthropic as House; he always makes sure Watson has a place to hang his hat between wives without making too much of a fuss; he never bugs Watson for money or is late with his share of the rent; he doesn't make the doctor wait outside the apartment for hours while he jerks off.

Nah, Holmes is a god guy.

Oh, Holmes is a good friend, no doubt, but I can see where he'd be a bit of a pain in the ass. I mean, there I'd be trying to do the Word Jumble in the London Times or something, and he'd show me a rock that he picked up in the street, and he'd ask me what I would make of it, and I'd say a paperweight, and then he'd give me "that look" and spend the next two hours pointing out various aspects of it and tell me stuff like how that spot of mud on the lower left hand side proved that this rock was carried into battle by King Darius of Persia in ancient times, and I would say something like "By jove, Holmes! You're so full of shit, you need a septic tank!"

Of course, at that moment, the door would fly open, and King Darius would stride in and yell "Thank God! You've found my rock! It's the only souvenier I have of that battle at Athens!!" Then Holmes would give me "that look". No, not the look he'd give when he was waving the pistol around stoned out of his mind on cocaine. I mean the look that he'd give me whenever he wished to imply that if I were any dumber, I'd be Ernest P. Worrell, and right about then, I'd start asking myself if Forrest Gump was looking for a roomie.

[OneCentStamp]

Oh, Holmes is a good friend, no doubt, but I can see where he'd be a bit of a pain in the ass. I mean, there I'd be trying to do the Word Jumble in the London Times or something, and he'd show me a rock that he picked up in the street, and he'd ask me what I would make of it, and I'd say a paperweight, and then he'd give me "that look" and spend the next two hours pointing out various aspects of it and tell me stuff like how that spot of mud on the lower left hand side proved that this rock was carried into battle by King Darius of Persia in ancient times, and I would say something like "By jove, Holmes! You're so full of shit, you need a septic tank!"

Of course, at that moment, the door would fly open, and King Darius would stride in and yell "Thank God! You've found my rock! It's the only souvenier I have of that battle at Athens!!" Then Holmes would give me "that look". No, not the look he'd give when he was waving the pistol around stoned out of his mind on cocaine. I mean the look that he'd give me whenever he wished to imply that if I were any dumber, I'd be Ernest P. Worrell, and right about then, I'd start asking myself if Forrest Gump was looking for a roomie.

I giggled aloud about four different times while reading this. Bravo.

[Missy2U]

Hoss Cartwright - hell, all of 'em.
Bull Meacham
Jack Burton
VI Warshawsky
Kinsey Millhone
Sharon McCone
Archy McNally
Edward Delaney

Funny, my husband and I were talking about this very thing last night!

[Skald the Rhymer]

Hoss Cartwright - hell, all of 'em.
Bull Meacham
Jack Burton
VI Warshawsky
Kinsey Millhone
Sharon McCone
Archy McNally
Edward Delaney

Funny, my husband and I were talking about this very thing last night!

Bull Meacham????????


Um...so you LIKE racist, misogynistic, child-abusing wife-beaters?

He does have a helluva sense of humor, tho.

[Linty Fresh]

Gotta resurrect this thread, because I've just started watching Da Vinci's Inquest again, and I have to say that Dominic Da Vinci is the man. I could easily see myself hanging with this guy. He looks like he'd be the best friend you could possibly ask for.

I think I'd get along with Chick Savoy, too.

And I would happily throw rocks at Det. Angela Kosmo, just to get her to slam me to the ground and cuff me. Hard. :)

Da Vinci's Inquest is my favorite show in a long, long time, and it's all because of the characters.

[BrainGlutton]

Dr. Engelbert Eszterhazy!

From The Adventures of Doctor Eszterhazy, by Avram Davidson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avram_Davidson) -- a collection of short stories set in the 19th Century, in the mythical southeastern European state, the Triune Monarchy of Scythia-Pannonia-Transbalkania (modeled, clearly, on the Austro-Hungarian Empire). The hero is Dr. Engelbert Eszterhazy, a brilliant and largely autodidact polymath of the minor nobility -- urbane, broad-minded, gentle, temperamentally cheerful, philosophical yet practical, endlessly resourceful. He works (when he is working at all, and not alone studying) as a kind of detective, but unlike Sherlock Holmes he has no fear that his mind is like an attic, of limited storage capacity; he studies everything. Even magic. (Many of the stories include supernatural elements; and phrenology is crucial to his solving a mystery in "The Tell-Tale Head.") His personal motto is, "Often pause, and turn aside." He is also kind and respectful, for the most part, to his social inferiors (which includes most people) and his intellectual inferiors (practically everybody, including the emperor). Kind, and endlessly patient.

From "The Autogondola Invention":

Incomparably less large and vast than the Russian Empire, incomparably less powerful than the German Empire, incomparably less sophisticated than the Austro-Hungarian Empire -- still Scythia-Pannonia-Transbalkania, its mere name a subject for risibility elsewhere, was his empire, his native land. It may not have functioned very well? so much the more was he pleased that it functioned at all. Its Secret Police was a joke? so much the more he too would enjoy the joke; no one laughed at the Secret Polices in the other empires. Its many languages rivaled Babel or Pentecost? let them: at least here no schoolboy was flogged for praying in whatsoever minor mother tongue. One empire had already, fairly recently, gone from the political map of Europe; and although the name of Bonaparte still rang like a tocsin here and there, it was uncertain that the Prince Imperial would himself ever ring it successfully.

Day by day others asked, how fared their country's wheat compared with Russian wheat, its butter with Danish butter, its timber with Carpathian timber, its tar with Baltic tar, its cloth with English cloth? Day by day the same spokes of the universal wheel flashed by: love, sorrow, terror, death, success, failure, hunger, joy, growth, decay, weakness, strength: the wheel turned and turned and turned: nothing stayed the same, no one bathed twice in the same flowing water for the water had flowed on and flowed away. There is no star at the pole of the universe, young Dr. Eszterhazy recollected the ancient astronomer; and if there was and long had been but blankness in the comparable area of his own country, then might there not be a space and place for him? What he hoped for, others did not even think of; what others did not think, might he not think of?

And after thinking, do?

From "Writ in Water, or the Gingerbread Man":

The Scotch had not conquered the English nor had the English conquered the Scotch in order for one sovereign to become King of England and King of Scotland and -- eventually -- King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain. What had brought it about was, firstly, the Scottish marriage of King Henry's sister, and, secondly, the not-marriage of King Henry's daughter: The Queen of Scots hath a bonny babe and I am but a barren stock. Neither had any wars at last united Scythia or Pannonia; the Pannonians at a certain point historical had no Crown-Prince? Well, neither had they any Salic Law; the then-Crown-Prince of Scythia was wedded to the then-Crown-Princess of Pannonia; both being tactful enough to die before their conjoint-grandchild, said grandchild became Sovereign of both Scythia and Pannonia -- and what school-child anywhere did not know that the people of Scythia were (principally) Goths and that the people of Pannonia were (principally) Avars? What an occasion for the erasure of frontiers, the unification of armies, the abolition of customs and octrois! There were, however, also all those lesser, minor territories, of which the new Sovereign was Prince of one and Duke of another . . . in the Scythian Line of Descent . . . Grand Hetman here and Chief Boyar there . . . in the Pannonian Line of Descent . . . and so on . . . and so on . . .

What to do about them, these not-quite-nations already becoming obsolete in an age where every political entity was felt to require a prime minister, a general staff, a set of postage stamps, a -- What was done was perhaps cleverer than students of political science realized, for all these "Hegemonies," as they were called, from Ritchli to Little Great Dombrovia to Hyperborea, and including Vlox-Majore and Vlox-Minore, were not absorbed by either Scythia or Pannonia, but were autonomously united to form Transbalkania.

And now the cheese of Poposhki, the smoked sturgeon of the Romanou, the brined-pork and the brawn of the Slovatchko Alps, appeared . . . untaxed! . . . on the market-stalls of Bella -- Avar-Ister -- Apollograd -- and everywhere else in the fourth-largest empire in Europe. (The Turks were only fifth. Served them right.) Also the wheat of Scythia, and the beef and mutton of the wide Pannonian plains. And, as Dr. Engelbert Eszterhazy composed this paean in his own mind and looked at the ever-thronging streets of what, once a walled town, was now a world capital (yes, it was a small world), he considered the role which he himself would play. Which he had intended he should play and had designed (and re-designed) his own life the better to play it. You can't catch me, said --

And, my own invention from this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=302615&highlight=eszterhazy) thread:

Eszterhazy had long made a habit of keeping several enquiries in progress, in some manner or other, simultaneously, hopeful to inoculate himself against the sense of ennui and listlessness that often ensued upon the successful conclusion of an enquiry. And on this morning, while attempting to concentrate his mind on the far more pressing (indeed, to be sure a matter of national security and international tranquility) matter of the theft of the Cyprus Regalia from the Crypt of St. Sophie, he found his attention inexplicably but inexorably diverted to the mystery of the Chicken Who Crossed the Road. It would appear to the casual observer that the worms and corn were as abundant upon the Hither Side of the road as upon the Thither Side, the gravel bits as bright and appealing, the hens as plump and complaisant. Yet Eszterhazy, he more than many others, could readily empathize with the creeping restlessness that could make the near and comfortable side of the road appear stale through familiarity, the unknown far side an inviting field of discovery and possibilities. Just so, but it would be an error of sophomoric dimensions to assume, without more evidence, that a course of action appealing to Eszterhazy might be similarly appealing -- or appealing for similar reasons -- to a Gallus gallus. As he selected from his humidor, clipped, lit, drew, and meditatively puffed upon a Trichonopoly cheroot, Eszterhazy ruminated (ruminated? aviated? gallicated? brooded? nay, not brooded) upon the words of the so-called Baconian Addendum to the Malleus Maleficarum: "The mind of a chicken is not the same as the mind of a man." And that, indeed, might well be the answer. But, Eszterhazy wondered, to which question?

One curious void appears in Eszterhazy's character and is never even obliquely commented upon, by any character in the stories nor by the author's narrative voice: Eszterhazy has no love live or sex life of any kind. He is by no means prudish, but he seems to have no interest whatsoever in sex or intimacy in any form. There is nothing at all to suggest he is homosexual, either. He seems, rather, to be simply asexual.

Just once I would have liked to see Eszterhazy in love.* Great pity Avram passed on in 1993.





*Legend has Elizabeth I once expressed a similar wish regarding Falstaff, and Shakespeare obliged her with The Merry Wives of Windsor. But, as Judy jones and William Wilson noted in An Incomplete Education, (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345468902/qid=1152032261/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-8696644-3496124?s=books&v=glance&n=283155) "If so, the monarch got short weight. This is Falstaff bereft of his wit, and he's not in love, or even in lust, just prodded by vanity and greed."

[Sunspace]

In high school, I always wanted a smart weird female friend like Podkayne of Mars. I think that would have made a positive difference in my life. :)

I felt like I could come home and be welcomed at the Weasleys' as well.

[Linty Fresh]

I felt like I could come home and be welcomed at the Weasleys' as well.

Good choice. I like the Weasley's, too.

Joker from Full Metal Jacket seemed like a cool person to hang out with.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

I think that Daria Morgendorffer (http://www.outpost-daria.com/ch_daria.html) would make a fine SDMB Member.

Or Moderator.