Help me remember a new movie I just saw!

[susan]

Two weeks ago I flew on British Airways from the US to Heathrow. My partner and I watched a movie. On the way back, we realized that neither of us could remember what we'd watched, or anything about it. We remember no actors and no plot points. We think it was a comedy. We think it wasn't animated. I have a vague impression that it may have been rated PG.

I've looked at what's playing in the dollar cinema. I've looked at Columbia House's new releases and Netflix's Top 100 comedies. BA's website now shows only the September movies. I could e-mail BA and ask for a list of Eastbound long-haul movies for August, but where's the fun in that?

So please--what movie do you think we saw? It's probably not animated, it's probably a comedy, and it was shown on BA in August.

[Ike Witt]

Wow, sounds like it really made a lasting impression. You want to watch it again?

[Beadalin]

You can look up this month's schedule of in-flight movies here:
http://www.britishairways.com/travel/entertainhighlights/public/en_gb

Let us know what you find out.

[Beadalin]

Oops, sorry. I see you tried that. You could always email them and ask for the schedule.

[Ignatz]

"The High and the Mighty"?

"Unforgettable"?

[Snooooopy]

Was this that movie with that guy?

[don't ask]

Just to narrow it down a liitle - remember the part where one of the characters did or said something and then the main guy/gal responded in a possibly amusing manner? Was that nearer the start or end? Or in the middle perhaps.

[garygnu]

Why do you want to remember?

[susan]

Because it is amazing to me that two people could sit side by side watching a movie, then remember nothing at all about it two weeks later. Was it an amnesia-inducing film? Did BA put roofies in our Diet Cokes? Was the movie so bad that it destroyed part of our brains?

Plus, it just amuses me.

[jayjay]

Obviously, the plane was caught by a tractor beam from a hidden Zoofloobian cruiser, the occupants probed and DNA samples taken, then returned to their seats with the memories of the past three hours erased from their brains.

You've been abducted, Shoshana!

Well, either that or you watched "From Justin to Kelly"...I know my brain would be trying to erase that 90 minutes or so.

[susan]

You've been abducted, Shoshana!I thought I heard somebody say, "Twenty quatloos on the newcomers!"

[garygnu]

Reasonable.

I'd rather forget most airline movies myself.

Cassanova, maybe?

[susan]

Newsflash
My partner, who can't sleep on planes, also watched Die Another Day and Spelling Bee on that flight. I didn't. We agree that the Missing Movie probably wasn't science fiction. She says that at one point we turned to each other and said, "This is pretty good." Hope that helps.

[susan]

It wasn't postmodern. It was in color. It was not a heartwarming story about a child and a pet, or about animals against all odds. It wasn't military. It wasn't British.

On the way back, we watched The Da Vinci Code and re-watched Prisoner of Azkaban. Yet the Missing Movie eludes us.

[Terrifel]

Did the movie at any point feature an ocean liner striking a large iceberg?

[Stranger On A Train]

Because it is amazing to me that two people could sit side by side watching a movie, then remember nothing at all about it two weeks later.This is actually the goal of the major Hollywood studios. By achieving this, they're able to repackage the exact same Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan rom-com half a dozen ways and spank a cool $100M out of it each time. Ditto with Lindsay Lohan, Adam Sandler, and those interchangable Eddie Murphy Disney films. Heck, sometimes they just redub the voices, place different actors names in the credits, and send it out again; for instance, Yours, Mine, and Ours was just a redubbed version of Cheaper By The Dozen with just a few digital touch-ups to make the main characters look vaguely like Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo. (It's not that hard, actually; Martin and Quaid have the exact shame shit-eating grin, so it's basically just a hair-map and some rearranging of the scenes.)

Independence Day was actually cut together out of segments of Star Wars, War of the Worlds, the miniseries V, a couple episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Battle Beyond The Stars, with a few conjuctionary scenes with Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith. Then there are John Grisham adaptations, which are unsuprisingly exactly the same, given that the source material is the same novel slightly reorganized and retitled. Even Scorsese--a guy who used to bounce from one genre to another--has gotten into the act. Ever since The Age of Innocence, he just keeps recuttting old films and digitially inserting Leonardo DiCaprio in place of Robert De Niro; if you look closely in the background of Gangs of New York you can see a young Jodie Foster walking down the street. Heck, even before that, he strung together Casino out of editting room wastage from Goodfellas, including the alternate cornfield scene where Tommy DeVito gets wacked. Then there are the Star Wars prequels; so bland and pointless it's impossible to even keep them in order. You think that's an accident?

A film that you can't recall once you've left the cinema is exactly the magic formula Hollywood is looking for. The last thing they want is another Being John Malkovich or Cool Hand Luke. I mean, you have to figure out a whole new way of marketing each one. That's enough to put a studio exec off of his 3 o'clock gin and tonic...and if you've seen those guys at happy hour, you know that this isn't something they take lightly.

So...forget about it. Not only will you never figure it out, it doesn't matter anyway. It's the same film you've been watching on BA for years.

Stranger

[susan]

No, though we did have to discuss this, especially since our cruise ship featured upside-down ceiling-mounted models of all the ships of the line, and we saw actual icebergs near Greenland on the way home. Thanks for playing, and enjoy our valuable parting gifts.

[susan]

This is actually the goal of the major Hollywood studios.
.
.
.
So...forget about it. Not only will you never figure it out, it doesn't matter anyway. It's the same film you've been watching on BA for years.

Stranger
Your delightful bitterness only redoubles our resolve. It is true, however, that The Family Stone, featured in the bowels of BA's first class library, is Meet the Fockers.

[Cervaise]

So...forget about it.The movie was probably not Chinatown.

I have nothing constructive to offer, but I must admit I'm also now curious to learn which movie could have evaporated so completely.

[jayjay]

No, though we did have to discuss this, especially since our cruise ship featured upside-down ceiling-mounted models of all the ships of the line,

Ah...you were on the Poseidon tribute cruise...

[susan]

While we're all enjoying our time together, here (http://www.cruisemates.com/images/costa/Costa%20fleet%20Atrium%20ceiling.jpg) is a shot of the upside-down ships I was telling you about.
And it is here that Farcus let his imagination run wild. To show how the Costa fleet evolved over the years, he transformed the ceiling into the surface of the sea where all 26 Costa Crociere passenger ships, on a scale of 1:100, are depicted sailing upside down.

[Cat Fight]

Could it have been Failure to Launch with Sarah Jessica Parker? I saw that on a similar flight a few weeks ago. It was decent, but forgettable.

[shamrock227]

Was this that movie with that guy?
Oooohhhhh, Navy Seals

[susan]

Nope, but that was one of the films offered.

[Evil Captor]

Had. To. Be.

Snakes On A Plane!

[Stranger On A Train]

Could it have been Failure to Launch with Sarah Jessica Parker? I saw that on a similar flight a few weeks ago. It was decent, but forgettable.See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. They could, uh, rebrand this film as, say, Out Of The Nest, get a couple of replacement stars--maybe with Josh Hartnett and Claire Danes--to redub the voices, a little bit of CGI, and voila, the first rom-com hit of the 2007 movie season. You'd leave the theater saying to yourself, "Well, that was decent, but forgettable," and waking away with this strange feeling of deva vu.

Was this that movie with that guy?Oooohhhhh, Navy SealsDon't you mean The Recruit?

Stranger

[Stranger On A Train]

The movie was probably not Chinatown.I'll keep it off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.

Stranger

[GargoyleWB]

Having recently suffered movie-amnesia myself, I saw a preview that looked just like my wife's kind of movie. So I turn to her saying "Hey honey, you should go see that".

"We did." she said. Huh. Waddaya know, I dimly remember being in the movie now thinking what a bland forgettable film...

I give to you: Friends with Money (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436331/)

Was that it?

[Stranger On A Train]

Having recently suffered movie-amnesia myself, I saw a preview that looked just like my wife's kind of movie. So I turn to her saying "Hey honey, you should go see that".

"We did." she said. Huh. Waddaya know, I dimly remember being in the movie now thinking what a bland forgettable film...

I give to you: Friends with Money (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436331/)Are you sure it wasn't Return of the Secaucus Seven (http://imdb.com/title/tt0081420/) instead?

Stranger

[susan]

Nope, no motherfucking snakes.

[NoClueBoy]

I'll keep it off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.

Stranger


You do me a favor, I do you a favor. Criss cross. No one suspects a thing.




It wasn't a movie! It was a mind control experiment. How many times since the flight have you soiled your nickers? Barked like a sea otter? Stuck your finger in an empty light socket?

Diabolical ...

[Miller]

Did it involve a bus? Perhaps, a bus that couldn't slow down?

[interface2x]

Was this that movie with that guy?
Yeah, that one who's always standing on his hind legs and walking.

[Little Nemo]

Accepted?
Beerfest?
Clerks II?
Click?
How To Eat Fried Worms?
John Tucker Must Die?
Little Man?
Little Miss Sunshine?
Material Girls?
My Super Ex-Girlfriend?
Nacho Libre?
Scoop?
Talladega Nights?
The Devil Wears Prada?
You, Me, and Dupree?
Zoom?

Anything ringing a bell?

[Evil Captor]

OK, she says it was a lot like a comedy but it wasn't actually funny -- no actual laughter provocation or anything like that. Just a sense that comedy was being attempted in some way. Now, have Adam Sandler, Pauly Shore or Rob Schneider put out any of the things they call comedies in the right time frame?

[Miller]

Napoleon Dynamite?

[Wendell Wagner]

You know, many of the films being named are ones that were released in the past two months. As I understand it, a film shown on an airplane is one released to the theaters about six months ago. So maybe we should only name films released early this year.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

OK, she says it was a lot like a comedy but it wasn't actually funny -- no actual laughter provocation or anything like that. Just a sense that comedy was being attempted in some way.
Nacho Libre was like that and is in about the right time frame.

[shamrock227]

Did anyone in the movie suggest nuking it from orbit?

(because as you know, that's the only way to be sure)

[Antigen]

Stick it? (gymnastics related)

Pride and Prejudice?

American Dreamz? (making fun of American Idol)

The Lake House? (Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock)

The Breakup? (Jennifer Aniston and that guy)

These are all coming out in DVD in the next couple of months, so the timing should be about right.

[Cervaise]

Nacho Libre was like that and is in about the right time frame.Only problem is, Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler is sort of hard to forget.

[don't ask]

The Breakup? (Jennifer Aniston and that guy)

Perfect choice - a comedy slightly too close to the truth to be funny, but it has that scene with that guy and the barman with the nod,nod,wink,wink that I found too funny to forget.

[Stranger On A Train]

Perfect choice - a comedy slightly too close to the truth to be funny, but it has that scene with that guy and the barman with the nod,nod,wink,wink that I found too funny to forget.Okay, Vince Vaughn is too tall, and especially too creepy, to be "that guy". Vince Vaughn is "that annoying guy from Swingers." Jon Favreau (also from Swingers), on the other hand, is the prototypical "that guy". Heck, if you put him and Jeremy Piven side by side, I couldn't even tell them apart.

How about Along Came Polly? I know I saw the film (under duress) but I'll be damned if I can remember anything about it, except it was one of the ones with Ben Stiller that didn't feature Robert DeNiro whoring out his image.

Stranger

[Zebra]

Fearless?

United 93?

[susan]

None of these excellent suggestions. We are still convinced it was a comedy, not so sure about the rating (PG vs. R), both agree we thought we wouldn't mind seeing it again. Since we can't think of the hero, we wonder if it had an anti-hero. No nuking from orbit noted. Still no motherfucking snakes.

[«Ðëëp¤F®ïêd»™]

Benchwarmers?

[Little Nemo]

Okay, it wasn't on my previous list. Reaching a little farther back, was it:

A Prairie Home Companion?
Aquamarine?
Art School Confidential?
Failure to Launch?
Find Me Guilty?
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties?
Hoot?
Just My Luck?
Keeping Up With the Steins?
Kinky Boots?
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector?
Lonesome Jim?
On a Clear Day?
Phat Girlz?
RV?
Scary Movie 4?
She's The Man?
Stick It?
Thank You For Smoking?
The Shaggy Dog?

I think we're reaching the point where we've mentioned every mainstream English-language non-animated comedy that was in release this summer.

[susan]

That's it! Thank You For Smoking. Whew.

(So it is a little postmodern around the edges, but only the visuals, not the plot.)

[Little Nemo]

I win! I win!
So it is a little postmodern around the edges, but only the visuals, not the plot.
You should read the book (by Christopher Buckley). It's great.

[susan]

You did. I will. It astonishes me that we could like a movie and blank it out completely. I still think covert British Airways mind control was a factor.

[Elendil's Heir]

You know, if you hadn't been chain-smoking Camels throughout the flight, you might have remembered the movie. :dubious: