Earl Grey... Hot!

[Eonwe]

As I sit at my desk, sipping my tea, a thought occurs to me:

Why does Jean-Luc have to specify that he wants his tea hot? I mean, it's a nice catch-phrase, but really, is the temperature at which tea is imbibed so varried in the future that a person needs to tell the computer to make his tea hot?

I can just see what desert with Jean-Luc might be like:

"Would you like some Chunky Monkey, cold?"

"Oh sure!"

"How about some biscuits, room temperature?"

"I'd be delighted!"

[CalMeacham]

Well, people do drink iced tea. And some like tea lukewarm (Picard doesn't like his LucWarm), so it seems a not unreasonable thing for him to say.




"What was the name of the Star Ship Captain?"

(Together) "Jean-Luc!"

[Ethilrist]

... because you don't get to be captain of a starship by giving vague orders?

[Skald the Rhymer]

Because some people drink it cold.

[lissener]

Because someone once brought him tea that was not hot enough, and he wants to make sure that never happens again?

[Marley23]

You just can't trust spaceship computers to make good tea (see also The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). It's best to be as specific as possible.

[Carlyjay]

Because he likes his Earls hot, wet and grey.


Sigh... I am so disappointed with myself.

[Mangetout]

"Earl Grey Tea, hot!"

<splash> "Aahhh! fuck!"

"OK, Earl Grey Tea, hot, in a cup"

[scr4]

But surely the computer can identify the person and recall his/her preferences? Picard should be able to just say "tea" and get a cup of hot Earl Grey.

By the way, is Earl Grey good cold? I've never tried it but it seems it might be nice.

[susan]

"Earl Grey...hot. In a 6-oz. cup.* Oriented spatially to conform to "right-side-up."




*Surely Earl Grey can't be measured in milliliters.

[Anaamika]

You just can't trust spaceship computers to make good tea (see also The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). It's best to be as specific as possible.
"Why not share this with your friends?'
"Because," said Arthur tartly, "I want to keep them."

Best comeback ever.


Seriously, I agree with Marley23 but at the same time I would think he could easily just have a "Picard" setting. I mean, he's the damn captain. How hard would it be for the computer to make tea the same way every time?

[Skald the Rhymer]

"Why not share this with your friends?'
"Because," said Arthur tartly, "I want to keep them."



Quoting Hitchhiker's in a star trek thread?

I knew there was a reason I loved you.

[lissener]

But surely the computer can identify the person and recall his/her preferences? Picard should be able to just say "tea" and get a cup of hot Earl Grey.

By the way, is Earl Grey good cold? I've never tried it but it seems it might be nice.
It's loverly. Specially if brewed with a pinch of lavender flowers and drizzled with a little honey. A dash of milk and you have the loveliest cold drink in the world.

[carnivorousplant]

I would think he could easily just have a "Picard" setting.
Perhaps he feels it would be pretentious.
Perhaps Geordie says there isn't enough RAM for individual settings. Everyone would want one.
Perhaps Westley misused his personal settings to ignore the "root" in root beer and everyone lost their privileges.

[Marley23]

But surely the computer can identify the person and recall his/her preferences? Picard should be able to just say "tea" and get a cup of hot Earl Grey.
That'd be a good idea, but I can imagine problems when the computer tries to anticipate your order.

[Anaamika]

Perhaps Geordie says there isn't enough RAM for individual settings. Everyone would want one.

But he's the Captain. Surely the Captain should be able to have stuff? I know I'd surely want it!

[Anaamika]

Ergh. Feel free to tell me not to call you Shirley.

[muldoonthief]

As a slight hijack does anyone remember the episode where some visiting dignitary asked Riker for a glass of cold water? Riker, trying to impress the dignitary's hot bodyguard, looked at her with his best "I'm the studliest guy in the galaxy" look, and said "Computer, a glass of water. (pause for effect) Five degrees." That's what every attractive bodyguard is looking for - a guy who can get water any temperature he wants.

[carnivorousplant]

Surely the Captain should be able to have stuff?

Picard is too cool to have special privileges.

Except of course the plasma TV larger than the viewscreen in his quarters.
And voice over ride to the lock on Beverly's door...but let's not go there.

[Cat Jones]

This is freaky - we're just back from a fortnight in the States and I had to teach myself to ask for "hot tea" (to avoid any confusion with Pearl Tea / Ice Tea etc.) and Ponster quoted Jean-Luc !

But then one my Californian cousins also specified "Snow-skiing". I guess it just depends what your default is or if you have one.

[Finagle]

Ah, it's the freaking Future, and not any future, but a care-bear Federation Future. After 500 years of law suits, probably most beverages are served at body temperature or less.

Not to mention that the galaxy is crawling with aliens who probably drink their Earl Grey with big chunks of frozen ammonia in.

[kellner]

The boring answer is that the whole speech interface is just horribly inconsistent. From one episode to another the capabilities vary from human-level language ability to shittier than real-world systems. Unless they are completely unable to use their own technology optimally, the limitations have to be intentional. Apparently they want their computers to behave unnaturally. Even today you can observe that people react irrationally towards machines that emulate sentient beings. When working with very advanced systems it might make sense to remind people that they aren't interacting with a person. Holodeck characters have far more natural language ability, so probably it isn't a technical limitation.

kellner, student of computational linguistics

[ddgryphon]

Remember that computer was built and programmed by the lowest bidder.

He's lucky he doesn't get root beer when he asks for "Earl Grey... Hot!"

[Jodi]

I thought the computer's name was Hot, like Hal in 2001. You know: "Earl Gray, Hot."

[Bryan Ekers]

I've often wondered what happens to the cups and saucers he gets with every order. When all the closets and crawlspaces are stuffed with dirty dishes and cutlery, do they have to abandon ship?

[mnemosyne]

As a slight hijack does anyone remember the episode where some visiting dignitary asked Riker for a glass of cold water? Riker, trying to impress the dignitary's hot bodyguard, looked at her with his best "I'm the studliest guy in the galaxy" look, and said "Computer, a glass of water. (pause for effect) Five degrees." That's what every attractive bodyguard is looking for - a guy who can get water any temperature he wants.

This has me laughing out loud. Soooooo sexy! I'm just glad I've already finished my cup of tea (Earl Grey, in fact!) or it would be all over my laptop now!

[Lightray]

With Picard ordering his tea HOT, and Wesley at the helm, you'd think someone in StarFleet Legal would realize they have a lawsuit waiting to happen of McDonald's-Coffee-esque proportion.

(and you just know those poly pyjamas don't offer any thermal croch protection. heck, they give out just from the strain of holding in Riker's gut.)

[teela brown]

I've often wondered what happens to the cups and saucers he gets with every order. When all the closets and crawlspaces are stuffed with dirty dishes and cutlery, do they have to abandon ship?

Now that you mention it, I've never seen any scene where such mundane things like dish disposal happened. I suppose I assume that there's some "universal disintegrator" unit where one pitches their empty hot chocolate mugs or synthehol shot glasses.

A side observation is that they sure have cheesey glassware in Ten Forward. It looks like acrylic plastic made into tumblers by a bad craftsman.

[carnivorousplant]

A side observation is that they sure have cheesey glassware in Ten Forward. It looks like acrylic plastic made into tumblers by a bad craftsman.

They are recycled into mass for the replicators.
The programmer had a thing for carnival glass of the early to mid 20th century.

[h.sapiens]

In the future, everything will be recycled.

Those teacups are made of people!

[chowder]

But he's the Captain. Surely the Captain should be able to have stuff? I know I'd surely want it!

Well in that case "Make it so"

[ivylass]

Now that you mention it, I've never seen any scene where such mundane things like dish disposal happened. I suppose I assume that there's some "universal disintegrator" unit where one pitches their empty hot chocolate mugs or synthehol shot glasses.



Actually, this is covered in Deep Space Nine. Molly O'Brien had finished eating, and Keiko told her to put her dishes away. Little Molly takes them to the replicator, and the dishes are dematerialized.

I would assume since the food is fake and materialized out of pre-set patterns, the dishes are too.

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?

[Eonwe]

Actually, this is covered in Deep Space Nine. Molly O'Brien had finished eating, and Keiko told her to put her dishes away. Little Molly takes them to the replicator, and the dishes are dematerialized.

I would assume since the food is fake and materialized out of pre-set patterns, the dishes are too.

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?

Wow, a convenient evidence-disposal unit in every kitchen, eh? Got a bloody knife you need to get rid of? Stick it in the dematerializer! Maybe you're sick of your baby brother, or your cat? *poof!*

[Monstre]

"Earl Grey...hot. In a 6-oz. cup.* Oriented spatially to conform to "right-side-up."
"Engage."

[SiXSwordS]

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?
Computer, I like my coffee like I like my women....

Maybe not.

[Marley23]

"Earl Grey...hot. In a 6-oz. cup.* Oriented spatially to conform to "right-side-up."
"Engage."
"Set a course for... my tummy!"
I would assume since the food is fake and materialized out of pre-set patterns, the dishes are too.
You know, if the dishes are destroyed as well as the food, the station should be lighter after mealtime! That puts a new spin on this Straight Dope classic (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_144.html), doesn't it?
Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?
I'm not going to go there, but I have to say this is begging for some offensive Irish jokes.

[Antinor01]

Wow, a convenient evidence-disposal unit in every kitchen, eh? Got a bloody knife you need to get rid of? Stick it in the dematerializer! Maybe you're sick of your baby brother, or your cat? *poof!*

They are most likely set to not work on things that are alive.

As to the evidence disposal, the replicators work partially on transporter technology which keeps a log of what goes through it. So by putting that bloody knife in there, you have not only NOT gotten rid of evidence but have actually now made a readily duplicatable version of it for convenient reproduction.

[ivylass]

[QUOTE=Marley23
I'm not going to go there, but I have to say this is begging for some offensive Irish jokes.[/QUOTE]

Come on...there's a real answer to this!!! And you call yourselves Trekophiles. Honestly...I'm ashamed to wear my pointy ears around you guys.

[phungi]

perhaps he once was served by a Punk Rock Girl (http://www.deadmilkmen.com/lyrics/punk_rock_girl.html) who serrved him iced.

[Maastricht]

..we're just back from a fortnight in the States and I had to teach myself to ask for "hot tea" (to avoid any confusion with Pearl Tea / Ice Tea etc.).. Drinking hot tea, instead of iced tea, is the scriptwriters way of making Jean-Luc European, without making him annoying. They could also have given him American taste and an French accent, (think Michèl in Gilmore Girls) but that would have gotten old fast.

"Computèr, è Budwesèr, lightely chilled."

[carnivorousplant]

"Computèr, è Budwesèr, lightely chilled."

"Pfui! Computer! This is not le bulobaise! Le Engineer! Repair vous thees piece of merde!"

[ivylass]

They tried to make Picard proud of his heritage in season one, commenting on the correct order of the colors on the flag, for instance. That died fairly quickly. Unless you have a Russian accent and hair like a mophead, it just isn't as cute.

[Jurph]

It is a little bit of a throwback to how military officers had to order provisions in Ye Olden Days, or at least in the Cold War. "Rope, hempen, fifty-pound, three hundred feet," and so on, and you read the commas out loud: "Rope comma hempen comma etc." I believe this was done so that lists could be alphabetized (by computer?) under a substantive descriptor rather than having to guess whether the rope would be under "f" for "fifty pound test" or the "t" for "three hundred feet", or the "h" for "hemp", but knowing for sure that it bloody well wouldn't be filed under "r" for rope. In the Air Force we still make fun of seventies-era personnel requisitions; to say that anyone could do a job we say that the billet specified "body comma warm comma one each."

It's ridiculous to suppose that the knowledge of such a system would persist into the 23d century -- but it sure does make him sound like an officer to my 20th century ears!

[Eonwe]

Computer, I like my coffee like I like my women....

Maybe not.

Asian and into plants?

[AtomicDog]

Actually, this is covered in Deep Space Nine. Molly O'Brien had finished eating, and Keiko told her to put her dishes away. Little Molly takes them to the replicator, and the dishes are dematerialized.

I would assume since the food is fake and materialized out of pre-set patterns, the dishes are too.

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?



Black, extra strong, extra sweet. (I didn't look it up, either!)

[Alan Smithee]

*sigh*
I believe the answer is "Black, extra sweet."

I never thought I'd be the geekiest person in a SDMB Trek thread.

[AtomicDog]

What does Sisko drink?

[Alan Smithee]

"Extra strong"! I knew I was forgetting something like that. Thank goodness someone is geekier (and faster) than me.

[alphaboi867]

They tried to make Picard proud of his heritage in season one, commenting on the correct order of the colors on the flag, for instance. That died fairly quickly. Unless you have a Russian accent and hair like a mophead, it just isn't as cute.
Supposedly there's test footage of Patrick Stewart playing Picard with a French accent. It sounded horrible. Oddly when we met his brother they all appeared to be speaking English (unless the UT decided to give his family French accents).

[AtomicDog]

"Extra strong"! I knew I was forgetting something like that. Thank goodness someone is geekier (and faster) than me.

Bow before my speedy geekiness!

(No, wait a minute. What am I saying? :smack: )

[matt_mcl]

Actually, this is covered in Deep Space Nine. Molly O'Brien had finished eating, and Keiko told her to put her dishes away. Little Molly takes them to the replicator, and the dishes are dematerialized.

I would assume since the food is fake and materialized out of pre-set patterns, the dishes are too.

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?

Jamaican blend, double strong, double sweet. And he drinks coffee in the afternoon all the time.

[choie]

*sigh*
I believe the answer is "Black, extra sweet."

And it was a Jamaican blend.

Oh yeah, and he never drinks it in the afternoon! Oh wait, maybe he does. :smack:

As for Sisko, is his drink a ratkijino (sp)?

[carnivorousplant]

What does Sisko drink?
Rap ta gee no, or however you spell that Klingon coffee.

[choie]

Crapples -- missed it by that much! (shakes fist) Darn you, matt_mcl!

[carnivorousplant]

Dammit!

You are without honor, and your Female Parent dresses you funny!

^ :) ^

[ivylass]

Jamaican blend, double strong, double sweet. And he drinks coffee in the afternoon all the time.

We have a winner!!!

[Chronos]

They are most likely set to not work on things that are alive.So, does this mean that you just can't get a good serving of ga'ak from a replicator?

And the real mystery isn't why Picard specifies "hot". It's why he asks for Earl Grey. That stuff's disgusting... I can't fathom how the same country can make the best teas in the world and the worst.

[Antinor01]

So, does this mean that you just can't get a good serving of ga'ak from a replicator?

And the real mystery isn't why Picard specifies "hot". It's why he asks for Earl Grey. That stuff's disgusting... I can't fathom how the same country can make the best teas in the world and the worst.

I was refering to the destruction process.

Though, it seems you can't. When Riker ordered ga'ak to prepare for the officer transfer program it came out dead.

[matt_mcl]

Replicators cannot produce living things, such as gagh. (Oddly, they can apparently produce living tissue, or an acceptable analogue; in "Lower Decks" (TNG) Crusher orders Ogawa to replicate Cardassian blood.)

[Greenback]

Replicators cannot produce living things, such as gagh.


Except, of course, when the replicators are used as transporters. It's the same technology therefore one should be able to go to a replicator and say "36 year old female doctor...hot" and 1) be transported to sick bay or 2) have Beverly arrive via the replicator.

[Tenar]

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?

Orally, I hope.

(Though I have known some coffee enema faddists.)

Re: Picard, how do we know that he doesn't occasionally run wild and gulp down some English Breakfast or even a spicy/fruity holiday blend? I drink tea, and although I usually drink English Breakfast, I play the field, baby! If Jean-Luc's tastes are equally catholic, maybe it is necessary for him to specify his variety of tea every time.

[teela brown]

Jean-Luc is French, isn't he? Shouldn't he be knocking back a cafe express or an Orangina or something instead?

[ouryL]

:eek:
I drink mine cold!

[Beware of Doug]

Jean-Luc is French, isn't he? Shouldn't he be knocking back a cafe express or an Orangina or something instead?The only obviously French thing about him is his name. I always assumed he was descended from French pastry makers in Northern Ireland or something.

[Chef Troy]

By the way, is Earl Grey good cold? I've never tried it but it seems it might be nice. Starbucks uses Earl Grey for their black iced tea. It's really good - it's the only thing I ever order at a Starbucks.

[Skald the Rhymer]

The only obviously French thing about him is his name. I always assumed he was descended from French pastry makers in Northern Ireland or something.

Is this this accent complaint again?

Look, he was BORN and RAISED in Franch, but studied English in ENGLAND, from a really good tutor who managed to obliterate his French accent utterly, and also convinced him that Shakespeare was the history's greatest poet. And who also took his virginity one rainy night in the Cotswolds.

[carnivorousplant]

And who also took his virginity one rainy night in the Cotswolds.
I thought he learned Federation Basic from an Englishman.
What's a Cotswold?

[Chronos]

Look, he was BORN and RAISED in Franch, but studied English in ENGLAND, from a really good tutor who managed to obliterate his French accent utterly, and also convinced him that Shakespeare was the history's greatest poet.Which isn't all that implausible. I met a French lady once who spoke with a perfect British English accent, for exactly that reason. After all, the Anglophones a French person is most likely to meet are those right across the channel. And while "history's greatest poet" is, of course, subject to some debate, Shakespeare is certainly a strong contender, even for someone for whom English isn't a first language. Though it would be nice to hear Picard quoting Victor Hugo occasionally, too.

[teela brown]

The only obviously French thing about him is his name. I always assumed he was descended from French pastry makers in Northern Ireland or something.

Well, in that show where he returns to Earth to see his older brother at the family vineyard estate, they ain't in the U.K. anywhere, as far as I know. And that's not Earl Grey he's drinking at home, either.

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

I've often wondered what happens to the cups and saucers he gets with every order. When all the closets and crawlspaces are stuffed with dirty dishes and cutlery, do they have to abandon ship?This was an issue during the series, but now that they've moved on to the movies, they just crash the ship in every other movie, and the insurance money buys new dishes.

[Captain Amazing]

Well, in that show where he returns to Earth to see his older brother at the family vineyard estate, they ain't in the U.K. anywhere, as far as I know. And that's not Earl Grey he's drinking at home, either.

Yeah, but his brother and nephew both have English accents too. I just figured that sometime before TNG, the UK decided, "Hey, that Hundred Years War wasn't so bad after all", and took France over. I don't think there's anything in canon that contradicts it, at least. :)

[2lazy2pee]

But he's the Captain. Surely the Captain should be able to have stuff? I know I'd surely want it!

Damn straight! Hey, he has his own yacht, doesn't he? Then the replicator ought to know how he likes his tea.

[Angua]

Yeah, but his brother and nephew both have English accents too. I just figured that sometime before TNG, the UK decided, "Hey, that Hundred Years War wasn't so bad after all", and took France over.

Or at least reclaimed lost possessions. ;)

[Skald the Rhymer]

Which isn't all that implausible. I met a French lady once who spoke with a perfect British English accent, for exactly that reason. After all, the Anglophones a French person is most likely to meet are those right across the channel. And while "history's greatest poet" is, of course, subject to some debate, Shakespeare is certainly a strong contender, even for someone for whom English isn't a first language. Though it would be nice to hear Picard quoting Victor Hugo occasionally, too.

I wasn't kidding, 'cept about the losing-his-virginity-in-the-Cotswolds part. It was actually exchanging blowjobs in Tenerife.

[vivalostwages]

Rap ta gee no, or however you spell that Klingon coffee.

Raktagino. I used to have the Neelix scratch n' sniff recipe for it.

And just to torment you all:
http://picard.ytmnd.com/

[The Controvert]

They are most likely set to not work on things that are alive.

As to the evidence disposal, the replicators work partially on transporter technology which keeps a log of what goes through it. So by putting that bloody knife in there, you have not only NOT gotten rid of evidence but have actually now made a readily duplicatable version of it for convenient reproduction.Only if one forgets to erase the pattern buffer...

As for O'Brien, a funnier punchline would be: "Up the butt, Bob"

[spifflog]

Bottm line (to get back to the thread) is that it's just stupid to require the "hot" portion. The computer knows enough not to serve up the thing a 212 degrees. You can put a man on Ceti Alpha Six, but you can't program the computer to spit out hot tea without explicit instructions??

[Anaamika]

I wasn't kidding, 'cept about the losing-his-virginity-in-the-Cotswolds part. It was actually exchanging blowjobs in Tenerife.
*snort*

[NoClueBoy]

The proper quote has him saying "tea" first. Like this:


Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.



See how nice that sounds?

[Ephemera]

Raktagino. I used to have the Neelix scratch n' sniff recipe for it.

And just to torment you all:
http://picard.ytmnd.com/

Raktajino (http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Raktajino), actually. [/geekier]

[Marley23]

See how nice that sounds?
I think that might be the real answer. Saying the line that way gave Patrick Stewart a chance to do something with the words, and his way of speaking makes most lines sound more interesting than they are.

[Hypno-Toad]

You can put a man on Ceti Alpha Six...

No you can't. Ceti Alpha Six exploded.

[Suburban Plankton]

Computer, I like my coffee like I like my women....

Maybe not.Asian and into plants?
Hot and strong... with a spoon in them.

[Klytus]

Now, trivia time...how does O'Brien take his coffee?

Coffee. Jamaican blend. Double strong. Double sweet.

[Annie-Xmas]

"Set a course for... my tummy!"



Don't you mean "Uranus"?

[ASAKMOTSD]

I thought the computer's name was Hot, like Hal in 2001. You know: "Earl Gray, Hot."

I don't think so, Dave. :rolleyes:

[Figment]

Don't you mean "Uranus"?

Speaking of that, what actually happens to all the human excrement? Does it also go back into the replicator for recycling? I can just see Riker taking a dump in the replicator... Picard's Earl Gray would be some sick, sick concotion in that case :eek:. Or is it expelled out of the ship? That would create some wicked rings to navigate between when docking DS9 :D

[Ephemera]

Your mention of Deep Space Nine is appropiate considering how often Waste extraction (http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Waste_extraction_system) is mentioned in its later seasons.

[Revenant Threshold]

I always assumed that the default setting of temperature for tea on the Enterprise was different to what Picard liked - and so instead of having to say "Earl Grey, 70 degrees" every time, he just programmed the computer to give him his preferred temperature when he said "hot".