Black people and "Mister (Firstname) "

[Otto]

Having answered phones for a living for longer than I care to remember, something I find myself wondering about from time to time is how African-American callers will frequently address me as "Mister (Firstname)." I've never been required to offer a last name to customers. I don't recall a non-black person (or someone who doesn't to my untrained ear "sound black" I guess I should say) use this form of address. The people who say it tend to skew slightly older but it's not exclusively older people who do it. No real strong indicator as to a common socioeconomic status or geographical commonalities. Anyone with any insight into the cultural background on this form of address?

[El_Kabong]

It's not just black folk, in my experience. This usage is quite common amongst working-class people from southern Louisiana and Southeast Texas. Other than that, I'm not sure where it comes from.

[PoorYorick]

I can't speak for African-American callers, but since I've moved to Louisiana I notice that Mr. Firstame or Miss FirstName is pervasive here for both black and white (I can't speak for the rest of the south). When at was at the dentist last week, everyone there called me Mr. Poor. I like it, though. It retains a bit of respect without the formality of Mr. Yorick.

[Omega Glory]

The only blacks that I know who do this are from the south. I've never heard a black person who was raised in the north do this. Southerners often teach their kids to call people Mister/Miss First name. So, that's probably part of the reason they're doing it.

[FormerMarineGuy]

Same here, where I grew up in New Jersey we had a neighbor who just moved from Louisianna and she was known as Miss Tina.

When I moved to Georgia while in the Marines, a lot of the women were addressed as "Miss First Name".

I agree with PoorYorick, it does keep things formal enough to give respect, and informal where you can be casual at the same time.

[PoorYorick]

Ah, I see El_Kabong beat me to it.

[Renee]

I kind of like it too. It's sweet, somehow. I hate being called Mrs. (lastname).

[Omega Glory]

I forgot to mention that some blacks who aren't from the south often do southern type things because they, or their parents were raised by southerners.

[Annie-Xmas]

There is a trend here in northen New Jersey to have children refer to familiar adults as Mr/Ms Firstname. It's a nice combination of familiarity and respect.

[Doctor Who]

The only blacks that I know who do this are from the south. I've never heard a black person who was raised in the north do this. Southerners often teach their kids to call people Mister/Miss First name. So, that's probably part of the reason they're doing it.
I agree with the assertion that it's a "Southern thang." And, to agree with some of the other posters, in my experience, it's not limited to the black communities.

As a former white southerner, I was raised to call adults "Miss ____" and "Mr. _____" in order to be polite.

[Emily Litella]

I find it confusing when a married woman is addressed as "Miss Firstname". Wouldn't she want to be called "Mrs. Firstname"?

[romansperson]

I'm white, I'm from Ohio, and I use the same form of address at times - usually with colleagues who are older than me (I'm 44 now, so someone who is 60ish or older would receive that form of address from me). Since we work together and see each other every day, last name formality is too formal, but my parents ingrained respect for older people into me pretty hard, so there it is.

[fishbicycle]

It's not restricted to black people. My wife's piano students call her "Miss Michelle" and they're all white - but also all southerners.

[Caridwen]

[quote]There is a trend here in northen New Jersey to have children refer to familiar adults as Mr/Ms Firstname. It's a nice combination of familiarity and respect.[quote]

I can't tell you how much this bugs me or why. If your trying to teach your kids to show adults respect, why not teach them to say Mr or Ms X? It's romper roomish.

When I was young this was done in dancing school. Miss Tina taught ballet. Now I see it done a lot more, and it's odd.

What really bugs me is being in a doctors office and the 20 year old receptionist yells "Bob' and the patient is a 70 year old man.

[Doctor Who]

If your trying to teach your kids to show adults respect, why not teach them to say Mr or Ms X?
Interesting point here.

It seems to me that generally, in the South, the Mr/Ms Firstname form of address is reserved for (struggling for an adjective) closer/more familiar adults. Thus, your mother's hairdresser is "Ms. Annie." Your father's college roommate is "Mr. Bob."

More formal meetings/people would dictate the ubiquitous Mr/Mrs/Ms Lastname. Meeting your father's boss from corporate, for example, would require "Mr. Green." Schoolteachers, also get the standard, Mr/Mrs/Ms Lastname.

Thus, kids do learn to show adults respect - it's just that the form of address is contingent on the level of familiarity.

[Auntbeast]

I'm a southerner and I do it sparingly. I find myself really using it more as a sign of respectful affection. However, with my daughter, I do it far more with her than I do it myself. (Miss Sue, Miss Alice). I work with a ton of older folks and I'd say "Mr." more than I would say "two to call."

That being said, we have two white guys at work that refer to the male players as "boss." Which I find pretty odd.

[gigi]

I kind of like it too. It's sweet, somehow. I hate being called Mrs. (lastname).Me too, especially since I'm not a Mrs. and they usually pronounce my last name wrong. ;)

[Lissa]

I'm white, I'm from Ohio, and I use the same form of address at times - usually with colleagues who are older than me (I'm 44 now, so someone who is 60ish or older would receive that form of address from me). Since we work together and see each other every day, last name formality is too formal, but my parents ingrained respect for older people into me pretty hard, so there it is.

After eight years of being married to their son, I still cannot bring myself to call my mothe-in-law and father-in-law by their first names. I've thus far managed to avoid calling them anything, but I'm sure that my luck will run out someday.

[Obsidian]

I can't tell you how much this bugs me or why. If your trying to teach your kids to show adults respect, why not teach them to say Mr or Ms X? It's romper roomish.

I think because a lot of adults HATE being called Mr./Ms. Lastname. My parents (who are poster children for the baby boomers) don't like it because it makes them feel "old". They and most of their friends (and most of my friends parents) took the same attitude. To be honest, it made me uncomfortable. Calling adults by their first names felt wrong to a lot of us. Most people I know have worked out some other system of address. We tended to go with "Mrs. LastInitial" or Mama Lastname. One friends mother we call Mrs. Mom. I could see how Miss Firstname would work.

As a grown adult about to start my own family, only the parents of both my best friends (and in one case, just her mom) can I bring myse'f to call by their first names.

[monstro]

A girl I knew worked as a volunteer for at a program for inner-city youth. All of the kids were black, and this girl was white. She told me that all the kids called her "Miss Firstname" and that she felt slightly uncomfortable when they did this. She said she felt like it harkened back to the slave days.

FWIW, this was in northern New Jersey.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

I agree with the assertion that it's a "Southern thang." And, to agree with some of the other posters, in my experience, it's not limited to the black communities.

As a former white southerner, I was raised to call adults "Miss ____" and "Mr. _____" in order to be polite.
Are you black now?

I live in The South. I had never heard this until I moved here. It is common usage here.

[The Great Sun Jester]

Denver: it's a common form of address in schools when referring to teachers and aides. The principal's first name is still a secret, however, so there appears to be a level of formality that it's not yet able to breach. But I must admit when I first heard the usage i was looking for a Southerner.

I call my boss Mr. (Lastname), but oddly it's a passive agressive insult. We're all supposed to be on a first name basis here.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

In the 70's, kids in SE Wisconsin (Waukesha, Pewaukee) would address adults they were friendly with this way. Teachers were always referred to by MR/Miss/Mrs. Lastname.

[Doctor Who]

Are you black now?
Zing! :p

[Wile E]

I occasionally work with someone who does this and it drives me nuts. She is a white woman in her 30's. I don't think she is a Southerner by birth. I think she does it to be cutesy and I guess that's why it bugs me.

[Queen Tonya]

I am Miss Tonya to my friends children, and my child likewise refers to the friends as Miss Firstname. For us, it's sort of a respect bridge between Mrs.Lastname and the (non-familial) Aunt Firstname.

It bugs me when one of my kid's classmates just calls by my first name. That seems to suggest we're peers, and we're not. But calling me by my last name seems too formal for someone sprawled on my floor playing video games and drinking my koolaid, too. So, it's Miss firstname instead.

I sometimes do it when greeting other adults at work, now that I think about it. It's respectful but not formal, the boss is Mrs.Lastname but coworkers are Miss Firstname.

For the record, white and northern, but my area's full of transplanted southern culture so that's probably where we got it.

[TheLoadedDog]

It's quite common in Vietnam too. I also know a Portuguese guy who does it to me, but I think he's just being cute.

[kunilou]

From my time in the Old South, I'd say it's a southern thing, but there's something else.

Does anyone remember the old kids' shows Ding Dong School and Romper Room?

DDS was a network program, and the kindly old headmistress who hosted the program was called "Miss Francis." In reality, she was Dr. Francis Horwich, with a PhD in Education.

RR was a format that was locally produced, with local kids and a "teacher." I can't speak for every market the show ran, but in every city where I saw it, the teacher was always called "Miss Firstname."

[Mesquite-oh]

In my experience, preschoolers of all ethnicities are encouraged to call their teachers "Miss Amy" or whatever. Once they get to first grade, however, they are encouraged to call their teachers the more formal "Miss Jones" or whatever.

I have heard people people of all ages and ethnicities use it when they are greeting someone that they are good friends with. Ex: "Hey Miss Amy! How long have you been here?".

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Another Southerner (South Louisiana) chiming in to say that it's common for people of all ethnicities to say "Ms ______" around here. I'm 21, and it was only in the past couple of years that I realized that not everyone in America said this, mainly due to one of my "Northerner" (West Virginia) friends complaining about how funny it sounded. I still think it's the best form of address, especially for talking with people my parents' age or older with whom I'm friendly. I also get called "Ms" by people who are my age or older, but that tends to be more of an expression of affection than a proper title.

[Ferret Herder]

What really bugs me is being in a doctors office and the 20 year old receptionist yells "Bob' and the patient is a 70 year old man.Ugh! I work in the medical field, and I always address our patients as "Mr/Ms/Mrs Lastname" regardless of their age, unless they've specifically told me to use their first name.

After eight years of being married to their son, I still cannot bring myself to call my mothe-in-law and father-in-law by their first names. I've thus far managed to avoid calling them anything, but I'm sure that my luck will run out someday.I use "Mr/Mrs Lastname" for mine, as does one of the other in-laws.

[jjimm]

When I lived in Texas as a kid, my friends used to call my father "Doctor [Firstname]".

[jjimm]

I should add, I mean my white friends.

[TheLoadedDog]

In my experience, preschoolers of all ethnicities are encouraged to call their teachers "Miss Amy" or whatever. Once they get to first grade, however, they are encouraged to call their teachers the more formal "Miss Jones" or whatever.
Yeah, and in boys' single-sex high schools (especially snooty ones), teachers call students by their surname only, unadorned. And the teachers are all "Sir!".

kunilou, that was the form of address (Miss Kim) in the Australian version of Romper Room which ran, IIRCm from the 60s to the 80s. Maybe it's standard.

[Wee Bairn]

I also like it, and find it both friendly AND respectful, which is nice.

[JRDelirious]

It is also very similar to the practice in many Spanish-speaking cultures of using "Don Firstname" and "Doña Firstname" as a form of address to seniors in age or social rank. It is considered highly respectful and courteous(*) while implying a level of caring and/or of identifying, as opposed to "Señor Apellido" which implies something of a "cold", strictly-business dynamic.

(* Literally, it was "courtly" address before it got democratized -- originally it was the equivalent of "Lord/Lady So-and-So" or "Sir/Dame So-and-So"; e.g. the king of Spain is Don Juan Carlos)

[Frelling Tralk]

It's definitely a Southern thing. My best friend, though, doesn't like it, so my daughter calls him "Dude" (his choice).

[whiterabbit]

Yep, it's Southern. In my experience, in Georgia and Louisiana, it's generally applied to older people. I don't like being called Miss Firstname myself, but I know it's a term of respect so if a kid calls me that I don't complain. It makes me feel old.

I work with several older women who are commonly Miss Firstname to everybody, even the managers. And they're all married. It's purely a courtesy title.

[drillrod]

My kids use this form of address with pretty much all adults who aren't Mr./Mrs/Ms. Last name. My wife and I are both originally from the north and didn't use it growing up, but we've raised our kids primarily in the south. We think of it as respectful affection, I guess.

I've actually caught them being mortified when they slip and omit the Mister or Miss and address an adult as just 'firstname'.