View Full Version : The new guy's plea for advice...
09-18-2000, 12:44 PM
As I stated in my introduction post, I've been reading this board for a very long time before I ever decided to post anything. And in that time I've come to respect your opinions greatly. Thought I might ask for them now if it's not too much trouble.
In 3 days, I am going to meet my girlfriend for the very first time.
Let me explain. I've had an ongoing long-distance courtship with the most wonderful woman I've ever met for quite some time now. We've had many the internet date. Chatting. Playing chess on Yahoo. Sending each other cards, gifts, letters. (Yes, I consider snail mail very romantic.) And we talk on the phone almost every other night. To any extent, after much pulling and planning we're finally going to get to meet. We both have very busy schedules as she is a store manager, and I'm military. But now... Yay! I get to meet my sweetie.
We're very much in love, and have grown to know each other very well, and now, we get to know each other on a more "intimate" level. Obviously I'm quite nervous. We have lots of pictures of each other but there's something to be said for actually seeing someone in action.
What I want to know is, what do you think we should do this weekend? We only have 5 days, but I want to make them very important and very special. I'm a hopeless romantic and a poet/musician at heart, but my poetry and serenading only go so far, and will probably be reserved for our "alone" time. After that, I don't live in a very exciting place and there isn't much to do here, save that the scenery is absolutely gorgeous. She says she doesn't care what we do, as long as we're together, but I still want to make it special. Any ideas? Thanks for your time and your furry winkerbeans, as I know this was incredibly long.
09-18-2000, 12:51 PM
Well, I'd ignore any dating tips from Stephen Lynch...
09-18-2000, 12:53 PM
Originally posted by Simetra
After that, I don't live in a very exciting place and there isn't much to do here, save that the scenery is absolutely gorgeous.
Could you be a bit more specific?
Where the hell do you live?
09-18-2000, 12:53 PM
You want to impress her? Take her shopping. ;) Really! Not buying, but like window shopping. You get to know a person's taste that way.
09-18-2000, 12:56 PM
I live in Montgomery AL (Read: Armpit), and No, though I find Stephen Lynch to be absolutely hilarious, I would never take dating advice from a guy who would sing,
"Altar boy, altar boy, confess your sins to me. You will find the grace of God inside my rectory."
09-18-2000, 01:17 PM
Well, i'd have to know both of you to have much advice, but i'll warn you to not plan alot of things and end up feeling like you two have a schedule. That kills the romance, and will take up alot of your rare time together.
Me personally, I'd just schedule a solid 120 of sack time and stock up on Gatorade, KY and candles.
09-18-2000, 01:18 PM
.....a solid 120 hours of sack time.....
09-18-2000, 01:30 PM
Don't have a set schedule, but have a mental list of things you can do. Works better. Also, if you think she might be nervous at first, do go anyplace where she would be alone. That can wait till later. :D Otherwise, just remember to relax, ignore any pressure, and have fun.
09-18-2000, 01:39 PM
Advice? I know exactly where you should go:
Hope she can help!
09-18-2000, 01:41 PM
I was busy posting over there while brandocet was over here.
Oh well, can't have everything. Where would you put it?
09-18-2000, 02:04 PM
I'm starting to regret I posted this.
09-18-2000, 02:13 PM
When you meet your new honeybunch at the airport, it is important you have flowers. Some men and women will tell you to have red roses. I believe in being different and think it is more romantic to get roses of different colors. Sure, in the dozen there are red for romance but also pink for friendship and white for purity.
I recommend on day one you immediately take her to a meal to a nice but not expensive restaurant. Maybe even before you get her settled into her room. This will allow both of you to get the nerves under control over a relaxed, neutral environment. Also this is a nice time to disucss what she would like to do during her stay there.
09-18-2000, 03:11 PM
Why regretting? A couple of little jokes, but mostly sincere advice. Here's mine:
I agree that having too much of a set schedule would set anyone on edge. Keep it loose, informal, and relaxed. When she says that spending time with you is the most important part, she means it. Make a few plans, maybe one outing every day - just a nice walk, a meal or a movie would suffice. Spend the rest of the time in romantic discussion and...other things. I know it's nerve wracking but above all else, try to relax and enjoy yourself. By default she will too!
09-18-2000, 06:19 PM
That's the best advice I've gotten. Guess I should just relax. Been on edge all week. It's a big deal. :) Thanks to you and deb2world. I appreciate it. :D
09-18-2000, 06:24 PM
Your welcome. Remember to act like a gentleman, open the door, including the car door. Also, talk and listen.
You will have fun.
09-18-2000, 09:13 PM
If you are living in the same town where you grew up, take her for a drive and show her you old grade school, your old childhood fishing spot, the place where you used to get the best ice cream....girls love things like that. That's what my husband did the first time I visited his hometown. Of course, if you don't live in your hometown...well, I don't know :)
Make dinner! Impress her with your culinary skills...a nice candle lit meal, with a nice bottle of wine can make a very romantic evening, much better than a cheesy chain TGIwhatever.
Clean your bathroom! I can't stress the importance of a pubes-and-pee-free toilet seat enough. She will think you are a mature, responsible man, not a sloppy little boy. I mean, face it, you do have to live up to her expectations, and vice-versa.
Buy her a little something...nothing major, like jewelry, but maybe a cute little teddy bear or something. She'll have something to cuddle with when she goes home. Don't forget the card! Cards are very important! Send her one when she goes home saying what a wonderful time you had.
Rent a 'girly' movie, or something semtimental, and watch it together. My Dog Skip is good...not too girly, but a sad enough ending to make even the toughest man get misty.
You mentioned you were in the military...make sure she sees you in uniform! Men in uniform make women swoon (and I'm sure you look very handsome in it) ;)
Most importantly, be yourself, and have fun!
Let us know how it turns out.
Check THIS LINK (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37908) out. Lots of ideas, but really it's more about spending time together isn't it? Enjoying each other's company. Do a few special things (and NOT to a schedule: just have them up your sleeve) to emphasise it but at the end of the day the important thing is that you're together.
The hardest thing will be to remain relaxed and yourself.
Laugh a lot.
Good luck mate - keep us informed of developments.
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