Minor Culinary Gripes

[Lamar Mundane]

1) Cole Slaw in restaurants

Coleslaw is a great comfort food of mine. I often order it in place of the mounds of fried potatoes that I really don't need. There are two, and only two, ways to prepare it. One is with a mayonaisse base, and the other is a vinegary base with celery seeds (as perfected by the Avenue Bar in Madison, WI). Both are great.

Lately, restaurants have taken it upon themselves to "get creative" with the standard, and bring you something resembling, but definately not, cole slaw. Get your sliced green and red bell peppers out of there, Old Chicago! Boston Market, quit trying to blend the two bases together! Just give my old cole slaw back.

When you order french fries, you know you are going to get sliced potatoes, fried. They may be different sizes and shapes, but they taste the same. When you order a dry martini, they'll ask you if you want gin or vodka, they don't don't serve you up an appletini without you requesting it. When you order a burger, it is beef on a bun, not a gardenburger with arugula.

If you are going to mess with a standard, please describe how you decided to make it suck before serving it to me.

[Rigamarole]

If you are going to mess with a standard, please describe how you decided to make it suck before serving it to me.

Great line. I give it 4 gold stars.

[silenus]

Hear, hear! Well-ranted. "Fancy" coleslaw is like "fancy" mac & cheese....not the same thing at all. I like both of the basic styles, and will tolerate the inclusion of golden raisins if the rest of the dinner excels. But other than that, the classic recipe became a classic for a reason. 86.5: It has a good beat and I can dance to it.

[Hey, It's That Guy!]

Actually, I love the cole slaw variant that comes with the delicious Baja fish tacos at Cheesecake Factory. It is either called "island slaw" or "citrus slaw," I forget which, but it has little mandarin orange sections mixed in, and a dash of something tangier too. It goes perfectly with the fish tacos, to the point where when I buy a bag of dry broccoli slaw to prepare at home with Miracle Whip Light, I also add mandarin orange sections now!

[Hey, It's That Guy!]

Hear, hear! Well-ranted. "Fancy" coleslaw is like "fancy" mac & cheese....not the same thing at all. I like both of the basic styles, and will tolerate the inclusion of golden raisins if the rest of the dinner excels. But other than that, the classic recipe became a classic for a reason. 86.5: It has a good beat and I can dance to it.
Whoa whoa whoa... I love me some mac and cheese, but I've NEVER heard of adding golden raisins! Where did you have it this way? And by two styles, do you mean the "box" kind with the orange neon powder-based cheese and the "real" kind with shredded cheese and bread crumbs on top, and then baked as a casserole? I love both styles, but I tend to add things like diced onions, tomatos, or jalapeno peppers, or canned tuna to make it a little more nutritious.

[silenus]

No, no....you misunderstand my reference. I was speaking of coleslaw, not the creamy goodness of mac & cheese (to which I usually 4 kings of cheese, onions, peppers, and various meats.

[Key Lime Guy]

KFC has the world's best coleslaw IMO.

9 times out of 10, when I order coleslaw anywhere else, I end up thinking to myself: why don't they just copy KFC's recipe?

[Hey, It's That Guy!]

KFC had really damn good barbecue baked beans, too. They were just the right blend of sweet, tangy, tomatoey, and smoky, with actual little pieces of bacon -- none of that nasty white fat cube from canned beans. I loved those beans more than their actual chicken, so of course they pulled the dish off the menu. Now I get my rare fried chicken fix from Albertson's (cheaper, fresher, and juicier), so I don't even go to KFC anymore.

[An Arky]

Cheap Oil. I've been noticing more and more places are using cheap oil; it has a peculiar wang to it that I cannot stand. Unfortunately, it's becoming more widespread. Tostitos now use it, and they have that cheap oil wang, rendering them inedible.

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

it has a peculiar wang to it
Peculiar how?

[Harborwolf]

Peculiar how?I'd think finding a wang in your oil would be peculiar enough.

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

I'd think finding a wang in your oil would be peculiar enough.
My point. ;)

[An Arky]

Oh, such dirty minds!

It's really hard to describe, but I've been tasting it in more and more things over the past couple of years. I seem to recall oil not having this (or any) taste in the past. I taste it in Tostitos now, where I didn't before. It's even worse in store-brand tortilla chips; hence my cheap oil theory. Could it be Canola or something?

[Merhouse]

KFC has the world's best coleslaw IMO.

9 times out of 10, when I order coleslaw anywhere else, I end up thinking to myself: why don't they just copy KFC's recipe?

It's too bad this isn't a poll, because, wow, I couldn't possibly agree more! Their cole slaw RuLeZ :)

Blue Ridge, found in stores around here, is also pretty good, but damn, that KFC stuff is just incredible :)

As to the OP, I also agree. Leave perfectly good cole slaw ALONE!

[carnivorousplant]

Could it be Canola or something?

I avoid canola and cottonseed oil when it is used for purposes other than cooking.
Salad dressing, if I must have it from a bottle, should be made with olive oil.
The taste you mention seems to me to be stale or bitter.

[silenus]

For those of us jonesing for some KFC slaw right now:

KFC Coleslaw

Recipe By : Copy Cat Web Site
Serving Size : 1 Preparation Time :0:20
Categories : Coleslaw

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 head cabbage -- finely chopped
1 medium carrot -- shredded
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 tablespoon pepper
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 tablespoons white vinegar
2 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice

Be sure the cabbage and carrots are chopped up into very fine pieces about the
size of rice kernels. Combine the sugar, salt, pepper, milk, mayonnaise, butte
rmilk, vinegar and lemon juice and beat until smooth. Add the cabbage and carr
ots and mix well. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving.

[ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies]

For those of us jonesing for some KFC slaw right now:

KFC Coleslaw

...

1/3 cup granulated sugar

...

That right there is 100% pure, unadulterated HERESY.

I can't eat it untill I've added about as much salt, for one little tub o' slaw.

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

Oh, such dirty minds!
I'm still trying to figure out who the 4 kings of cheese are.

[silenus]

Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Colby and Jerry Lewis.

[carnivorousplant]

I'm still trying to figure out who the 4 kings of cheese are.

Feta, edam, romano, Groucho.

[HelloKitty]

MMMMmmmmm, KFC Coleslaw! I think the over-abundance of sugar is what makes it so good. That, and eating it with a spork. :D

My culinary gripe in restaurants is overly salted french fries. Applebee's and TGIFriday's, I'm pointing my finger at you! Lay off the salt will ya?

[Common Tater]

Oh, such dirty minds!

It's really hard to describe, but I've been tasting it in more and more things over the past couple of years. I seem to recall oil not having this (or any) taste in the past. I taste it in Tostitos now, where I didn't before. It's even worse in store-brand tortilla chips; hence my cheap oil theory. Could it be Canola or something?

Definitely. Rapeseed oil has a nasty chemical "desert" flavor. It's name has been patented, iirc. CANadian OiL, etc. It's hard to find anything cheaper than corn oil, but I guess they are looking. Derivative of the paint industry, when no longer needed for that, somebody decided to feed it to humans.

[Savannah]

I don't mind canola oil (and if you've ever seen a brilliant yellow field of it under a stormy teal and slate Alberta sky, it will take your breath away).

What I can taste in some manufactured, processed baked goods is a tropical taste--like palm or coconut oil? I can usually taste it, and I don't like it. Most recently noticed in Girl Guide cookies. They just tasted 'off' with that coconutty flavour, and I think one of the listed ingredients was indeed, palm or coconut oil.

Okay, returning you to your regularly scheduled topic, coleslaw:

I don't much care for it, but Alton Brown did a show on "slaw", and damn, I was itching to grate something after that.

[The King of Soup]

Try to think of it this way: slaw is a technique, not a list of ingredients: it refers to a fine julienne or shredding of raw (or at least cold) vegetables which are then marinated, the marinade usually but not always containing vinegar, sugar, salt, and other flavorings. "Cole" slaw promises to contain cabbage, but that's the only guarantee you get. Personally, I like to get some fresh beets into the mix, and some horseradish into the marinade. Sure, there's tradition, but the OP's complaint is born of mere parochialism. It's like complaining that somebody gave him something he called a sandwich but that had neither ham nor cheese on it.

[Ludovic]

My gripe: they stopped making Stouffer's fancy mac 'n' cheese with chicken :mad:. Mac and cheese with rich cheddar sauce, mac (of course), chicken chunks, bacon chuncks, and tomato chunks (originally just shown as a "Serving suggestion" but later included cause it tastes so freakin good). When I nuked it at work everyone always said how good it smelled.

Haven't seen that in 4 years :(

W/r/t cheap oil: there is a place for cheap oil but I don't think Canola fits the bill at all. Cheap, or at least old, oil is perfect for cheesesteaks, which ideally should taste like you haven't cleaned the grill in about 3 months.

hijack: "regular" rapeseed oil has high levels of semi-poisonous erucic acid. Canola oil, OTOH, has less, and it is called Canola to both differentiate it from erucic-acid-high rapeseed and to avoid the unpleasant associations of the name.

[WhyNot]

Obligatory Snopes article on Canola Oil. (http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/canola.asp)

it has a peculiar wang to it
Any oil can go "wangy" if exposed to heat, air or just time. Canola takes much longer to do so than many oils. Flax or sunflower kernal oil go rancid within days of opening them.

However, I bet what you're tasting is a solvent extracted soy oil. It's cheap, so it's widely used in consumer goods, it's plentiful (98% of the soy oil used in the US is solvent extracted) and it tastes remarkably like ass. The most commonly used solvent is Hexane, others are Pentant, Heptane, Hexand and Octane (all forms of Naptha) and synthetic Trichlorethylene. While manufacturers claim "very little" solvent is left in the final product, they admit it's not none, and I can sure taste it.



My own complaint relating to the OP is Brown's Chicken Tangy Coleslaw. It used to be the only fast food cole slaw I liked. Tangy, sweet-but-not-too-sweet, and a shocking shade of orangepink not known in nature. Well, I haven't been there in prob'ly 10 years, and went last week. I asked them if they still had the tangy coleslaw, and the liars said yes, then gave me the same boring tasteless mayo based crap everyone else makes. Blech.

[Savannah]

Restaurant portion sizes.

Too much food. Portion sizes are getting ridiculous--I think almost every meal we've had in a restaurant lately has been oversized, and enough for lunch or dinner the next day. Yes, we get the leftovers packaged up for doggy bags, but the amount of food on the plate often leads me to eat more than I normally would. Restaurant dinner plates look more like serving platters than a single diner's entree. Last dinner out, three people shared a dessert, and even then, couldn't finish it.

We don't need that much food.

[DrDeth]

Restaurant portion sizes.

Too much food. Portion sizes are getting ridiculous--I think almost every meal we've had in a restaurant lately has been oversized, and enough for lunch or dinner the next day. Yes, we get the leftovers packaged up for doggy bags, but the amount of food on the plate often leads me to eat more than I normally would. Restaurant dinner plates look more like serving platters than a single diner's entree. Last dinner out, three people shared a dessert, and even then, couldn't finish it.

We don't need that much food.

I disagree strongly. I eat out at a "nice sit down" restaurant only about twice a month, thus I want nice large portions. I hate, hate HATE those restaurant critics that eat out 5 days a week and order three entrees to taste and then complain that 'the protions are too large". Well, no duh, if I ordered a coupel of appetisers, two entrees and a couple of desserts and ate out six days a week,-not to mention having my employer pay my bill- I'd want smaller portions too. But only one person in 100,000 eats like that, thus they should shut the fuck up about portion sizes.

[WhyNot]

Restaurant portion sizes.

Too much food. Portion sizes are getting ridiculous--I think almost every meal we've had in a restaurant lately has been oversized, and enough for lunch or dinner the next day. Yes, we get the leftovers packaged up for doggy bags, but the amount of food on the plate often leads me to eat more than I normally would. Restaurant dinner plates look more like serving platters than a single diner's entree. Last dinner out, three people shared a dessert, and even then, couldn't finish it.

We don't need that much food.
Well, if they're going to lower the prices accordingly, I might agree with you, but I don't see that happening. I see "Healthy Menu Choices" being smaller sized, but still just as expensive (if not more) than the Tub O' Lard with Cheese.

If I'm going to pay $10 for a restaurant meal, I want it to feed me, my baby and provide our lunch the next day, and a snack after that. Feed me enough for one meal, it'd make logical sense for it to be down to $3. But it won't be. Their price is not for the food, but for the rent, electricity, gas and wages. They can afford to give me a monstrous amount of food that I can take home, because the food doesn't really cost them that much. I'm happy to pay their insane prices, but I'd better get an insane amount of food for it - that money comes out of my grocery budget!

[pulykamell]

Restaurant portion sizes.

Too much food. Portion sizes are getting ridiculous--I think almost every meal we've had in a restaurant lately has been oversized, and enough for lunch or dinner the next day. Yes, we get the leftovers packaged up for doggy bags, but the amount of food on the plate often leads me to eat more than I normally would. Restaurant dinner plates look more like serving platters than a single diner's entree. Last dinner out, three people shared a dessert, and even then, couldn't finish it.

We don't need that much food.

I agree with you. Portion sizes are ridiculous in most places around here. I'd rather pay more money for less food that is better, than a less money for mediocre food. It was strange--when I lived in Europe for five years, I got quite used to the reasonable size of restaurant meals out there--I didn't feel like a pig at a trough. It got to the point that whenever I would return to the States and go out to eat, I could only finish maybe half my entree (and I'm not a tiny guy--about 5'11", 200 lbs.) The thing is, I used to be able to eat all this food, and I couldn't believe how the portions really were.

So, I don't think it's fair to say it's only "critics" or people who eat out 5 days a week who think portions are too big at restaurants. They are big. If I want to stuff myself silly, I'll go to the nice Polish all-you-can-eat down the street. At a regular restaurant, I want a reasonable meal that doesn't leave me busting at the seams.

[pulykamell]

If I'm going to pay $10 for a restaurant meal, I want it to feed me, my baby and provide our lunch the next day, and a snack after that. Feed me enough for one meal, it'd make logical sense for it to be down to $3.

Holy crap! What restuarants do you go to that $10 provides that much food? For $10, I can barely cook a decent meal for two, much less get one at a restaurant.

[WhyNot]

I agree with you. Portion sizes are ridiculous in most places around here. I'd rather pay more money for less food that is better, than a less money for mediocre food. It was strange--when I lived in Europe for five years, I got quite used to the reasonable size of restaurant meals out there--I didn't feel like a pig at a trough. It got to the point that whenever I would return to the States and go out to eat, I could only finish maybe half my entree (and I'm not a tiny guy--about 5'11", 200 lbs.) The thing is, I used to be able to eat all this food, and I couldn't believe how the portions really were.

So, I don't think it's fair to say it's only "critics" or people who eat out 5 days a week who think portions are too big at restaurants. They are big. If I want to stuff myself silly, I'll go to the nice Polish all-you-can-eat down the street. At a regular restaurant, I want a reasonable meal that doesn't leave me busting at the seams.
But who's making you guys eat all that food at once? Take it home! Leave it on your plate! Send it to starving kids in Africa!

If you're not happy with the quality of the food, then why would you eat there anyway?

Holy crap! What restuarants do you go to that $10 provides that much food? For $10, I can barely cook a decent meal for two, much less get one at a restaurant.
Exactly. It ain't gormet, but when Mama don't wanna cook, it does in a pinch. The local BBQ joint loads the trough pretty heavy, and it's sure enough for a 19 month old and I to enjoy two meals and a little, if we eat like reasonable people. I can do a Thai or Chinese soup, appetizer and entree for under $10 that's enough for a meal and a lunch for the two of us. It helps that she doesn't eat much, but still...

I just don't get why people are calling for less food for your money. Like I said, if they could lower their cost and our price porportionally, that'd be one thing. But probably $6 of that $10 just covers their non-food related costs, so a one-meal sized meal will still end up being $7 or more. I'd rather have food to take home.

[pulykamell]

But who's making you guys eat all that food at once? Take it home! Leave it on your plate! Send it to starving kids in Africa!


If you're not happy with the quality of the food, then why would you eat there anyway?


Well, I don't eat at these places anymore pretty much, except for some places in Chinatown where the food is great, and the portions happen to be huge. I do take it home most of the time. I don't like throwing away food, so I either end up eating it all because I don't feel like taking it home (and overeating) or packing it up, hoping I'm going straight home so I don't stink up my car and possibly spoil the food in the process.


I just don't get why people are calling for less food for your money. Like I said, if they could lower their cost and our price porportionally, that'd be one thing. But probably $6 of that $10 just covers their non-food related costs, so a one-meal sized meal will still end up being $7 or more. I'd rather have food to take home.

I guess that it depends on what purpose you want for your restaurant meal. I don't want to take food home with me most of the time. When I go out for dinner, I want dinner, not dinner, a midnight snack, and tomorrow's lunch. If I'm eating out, I'm often away from home, on business, and don't have the luxury of carrying food around with me wherever I go. Or I'm on vacation, again in a situation where I don't want to take food home with me. Or I'm on a date and don't want the food sitting in the car growing bacteria as we chat in the bar afterwards.

[silenus]

Or I ordered something that tastes horrible when reheated.

Doggie bags are rarely an option any more.

[teela brown]

I hate it when restaurants spend a bundle to make the place look precious, and then skimp on paying the chef's salary. I can tell a place like this a mile away. A new joint just opened in our one-horse town, and we were in high hopes that it would be decent. Unfortunately, the whole budget was spent on wine racks, cutesy prints, and a fancy-ish decor. They also purport to sell a few "gourmet" goods on shelves, the better persuade you that they are serious foodies.

I ordered rotisserie chicken and grilled asparagus. Both dishes were way overcooked, salted to death, and nasty. As I left, I could see the "chef" in the back, and if he was paid more than $6 an hour, I'll eat my hat.

Dammit, leave the decor spartan and pay a knowledgeable craftsperson well to cook. We already have a raft of crappy eating places in my town.

[Beware of Doug]

They're counting on you being easily impressed by the frills, price tags, and such, and having not a tastebud in your head, especially after a couple of snootfuls. If you're any better than that, they feel they can afford to lose your business.

Unfortunately, this kind of thinking is not why most restaurants fail. That's mostly to do with not controlling costs and not being just plain lucky.

[ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies]

Here's one that always irks me...

Tails on shrimp and prawns. Totally goram annoying. In my experience there is no loss of taste or other loss associated with taking the damn things off before you serve them to me.

[Brandon]

Here's one that always irks me...

Tails on shrimp and prawns. Totally goram annoying. In my experience there is no loss of taste or other loss associated with taking the damn things off before you serve them to me.

Some people eat the tails and heads you know.

[ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies]

Some people eat the tails and heads you know.

Interesting. Not something I've ever witnessed. They must have stronger teeth and more reactive saliva than I.

[badbadrubberpiggy]

I disagree strongly. I eat out at a "nice sit down" restaurant only about twice a month, thus I want nice large portions. I hate, hate HATE those restaurant critics that eat out 5 days a week and order three entrees to taste and then complain that 'the protions are too large". Well, no duh, if I ordered a coupel of appetisers, two entrees and a couple of desserts and ate out six days a week,-not to mention having my employer pay my bill- I'd want smaller portions too. But only one person in 100,000 eats like that, thus they should shut the fuck up about portion sizes.

Even if I haven't had any appetizers or a salad, I still can't finish a typical restuarant meal. Generally, I get through about half of it before I start to get a stuffed feeling. Portions in most restaurants ARE too big for most people.

[pulykamell]

Some people eat the tails and heads you know.

Absolutely! Whole salt-and-pepper shrimp, for instance, is a bit pointless unless you eat the whole damn thing, head, tail and all!