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View Full Version : You Fargin Iceholes: The Johnny Dangerously Thread


RickJay
10-16-2006, 10:28 PM
Good Lord, what a wonderful movie this was. Perfectly cast. Maureen Stapleton as Ma was hysterical. So many great gags, I can't even begin to list them all.

"My name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously."
"Did you know your last name is an adverb?"

What's your favourite line or scene?

Least Original User Name Ever
10-16-2006, 10:48 PM
"You hung me on a hook. My mother hung me on a hook...once."

Heh...all those lines get me. I like the very beginning when the car crashes through the date and when he scans the puppy, who has the anti-theft tag on its ear.

Wow, it's been a while since I've seen it. I need to see it again soon.


See, in my opinion, Michael Keaton is (in alphabetical order):
Batman
Beetlejuice
Johnny Dangerously
Mr. Mom


That's it. Any other Michael Keaton is a facsimilie from Multiplicity. (Except Jackie Brown Michael Keaon. I'll accept him.)

silenus
10-16-2006, 10:49 PM
Johnny Dangerously: "You got those. I like those on a woman."

Ma Kelly: "You've gotten to be like a daughter to me and I wanna share somethin' with ya."
Lil: "Awww, what's that Mom Kelley?"
Ma Kelly: "I go both ways."
Lil: "Oh."

Marone was priceless.

Monty
10-16-2006, 11:10 PM
"You can't park here. It's for people with a disability."
"I have a disability. (Placing placard on top of dashboard) I'm psychotic."

All of the "~ once!" lines cracked me up, too.

Monty
10-16-2006, 11:13 PM
"Did you know your last name is an adverb?"
Could be worse, I guess. This guy (http://www.johnbytheway.com/)'s name is a prepositional phrase--and it's pronounced that way too!

Monty
10-16-2006, 11:15 PM
Better link (http://www.johnbytheway.com/john.swf)

Miller
10-17-2006, 12:06 AM
I'm a fan. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=109216)

"Gimme a coke, a pack of Raisinettes... and a whitefish."

Thalion
10-17-2006, 12:12 AM
"It shoots through schools!"

I love that movie.

Bosstone
10-17-2006, 12:15 AM
I love Johnny Dangerously. There's not a bit of it I don't enjoy.

"Enough with the nodding!"
Bribing Dom DeLuise the Pope.
Every single line by Moroni.
The ad-libbing by the priest in Death Row.
The 'educational film'. "I'm going back to law school!"

There's too much to list, really. This movie solidified Michael Keaton as a bona fide comic actor in my eyes, and the rest of the cast was awesome. I love Peter Boyle in whatever he happens to be in.

(On preview)
I don't know how I managed to forget that line, Thalion. The way Piscopo delivers it just sets me off no matter how often I hear it. Even recalling the scene, I'm cracking up.

JCorre
10-17-2006, 12:47 AM
I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!

Scarlett67
10-17-2006, 01:20 AM
I love you guys . . . and this movie. Mr. S hates it. I have to watch it surreptitiously when he's not around.

Unauthorized Cinnamon
10-17-2006, 08:35 AM
We have a lot in common . . . We're both swell lookers, we both scrub floors for a living, and neither one of us is Chinese.

Johnny and the mothers are playin' stomp it at the savoy in Vermont tonight.

Johnny L.A.
10-17-2006, 08:56 AM
I saw Johnny Dangerously once. Once.

For a film I've only seen once, I still seem to have a lot of references to it in my head. 'Once.' 'Farging icehole!' I still use those on occasion.

Wasn't there an army training film in it called Your Penis And You? (Even if it wasn't in this film, it was a good parody.)

usar_jag
10-17-2006, 09:08 AM
"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy corksuckers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves."

Oh, and the newspaper headline:

Roman Moroni Deported to Sweden
Says He's Not From There

CandidGamera
10-17-2006, 10:04 AM
"I'll tell you one thing, you sure can banter!"

One of my all-time favorites.

cmkeller
10-17-2006, 10:39 AM
Johnny L.A. (hey, did you know your last name's an abbreviation?):

Wasn't there an army training film in it called Your Penis And You?

Testicles.

"Look, Ma! I made you an ashtray for your birthday!"
"Bless you, I'll have to take up smoking now."

"Remember kid...crime doesn't pay!...(gets into limo)...OK, maybe it pays a little."

Shecky
10-17-2006, 11:46 AM
"I'm standin here with my DORK in my hand!!!"

You sumindabastiches!

Love this movie. and one for the fans:

"Holy Mary Mother of God!"

Scupper
10-17-2006, 11:59 AM
We have a lot in common . . . We're both swell lookers, we both scrub floors for a living, and neither one of us is Chinese.


Well, I'll say this for ye -- ye done yer homework!

Risha
10-17-2006, 10:42 PM
The ad-libbing by the priest in Death Row.
Suma cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio's too loudy.

Airman Doors, USAF
10-17-2006, 11:36 PM
"....and all of this can be yours, if you....PLAY BALL!"

"You lousy corksuckers. You have violated my farging rights."

Ray Walston getting plugged with the newspapers at the corner stand where he goes blind and then he can see but he goes deaf.

And, of course, the myriad of diseases and operations involving Johnny's mother. A special on operations? Ha!

Monstre
10-18-2006, 01:33 AM
I love the scene where Johnny walks into the side room (at his mom's), and an entire roomfull of laundry falls on him.

This was, indeed, a great movie.

Another good Danny Vermin line: "I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things."

Chanteuse
10-18-2006, 07:34 AM
Ray Walston getting plugged with the newspapers at the corner stand where he goes blind and then he can see but he goes deaf.

"I can see! And I can hear! But who am I?"

Draelin
10-18-2006, 09:48 AM
"Whatcha cookin', Ma?"
"Beer."
"With noodles! Great idea."

One of my absolute favorites, and the first thing I think of whenever anybody mentions Michael Keaton. Now I have to go home and watch it tonight.

Post-Meridian ... Ante-Meridian ... Uncle Meridian ... all the little Meridians ...

Don't Call Me Shirley
10-18-2006, 10:59 AM
Vermin: "I've fulfilled a lot of peoples' predictions about me. I've become a real scumbag."
Dangerously: "Good for you, Danny! A lot of people go their whole life without realizing what they want to be."

I love when his brother's brakes fail, and as the car goes faster and faster, the radio music speeds up.

Tommy: "Does the name Mary Margaret Katherine Denine strike a familiar chord?"
Vermin: "I'm tone deaf."
Tommy: "Too bad, cause she's singing like a canary and we've got her in our own little cage."

Johnny: "Hey, how about me getting knocked out?"

gonzomax
10-18-2006, 02:02 PM
First scene in movie. Big date on screne 1932 I think. Car pulls up and smashes it.
Then all Maronis dialogue is hilarious.

Elendil's Heir
10-18-2006, 03:41 PM
I also thought of Ma's confiding, "I go both ways," to her appalled daughter-in-law. Hilarious.

DaddyTimesTwo
10-18-2006, 03:57 PM
"You hung me on a hook. My mother hung me on a hook...once."

Heh...all those lines get me. I like the very beginning when the car crashes through the date and when he scans the puppy, who has the anti-theft tag on its ear.

Wow, it's been a while since I've seen it. I need to see it again soon.


See, in my opinion, Michael Keaton is (in alphabetical order):
Batman
Beetlejuice
Johnny Dangerously
Mr. Mom


That's it. Any other Michael Keaton is a facsimilie from Multiplicity. (Except Jackie Brown Michael Keaon. I'll accept him.)

You forgot about Night Shift which I would place about Beetlejuice and Batman should be in a different category.

I call people farging iceholes all the time.

And when he meets Lil for the first time, "Who's the canary?". On preview, this might be from a "Moonlighting" episode. :dubious:

Draelin
10-18-2006, 04:01 PM
"New York, Chicago ... to a girl on her own, it's all the same."

And the ten-foot Lincoln Tunnel gets me every time, because I forget it's coming.

Jenny Haniver
10-18-2006, 04:04 PM
Quick, who had the white suit he wanted to wear for Halloween, but no idea what to be with it? Doesn't Johnny wear a white suit when he meets Lil?

msmith537
10-18-2006, 04:45 PM
Johnny! You were willing to take a bullet for me!

Actually, I was counting on a lot of missin'.

FlightlessBird
10-18-2006, 06:02 PM
Jocko Dundee: "You got the number of that other plumber? "

DA Burr:"The public sees him as a knight in shining armor"
Danny Vermin: "This goes through armor. And through the victim, through the wall, through a tree outside... "

Great Movie. I wish I could remember more of the visual gags. back in the days of the Zucker Bros and Abrahams, where a joke didn't need a setup and a reveal. If you got it, you were lucky.
I swear, watching a spoof film these days like Scary Movie or Hot Shots, every gag is setup for 2 minutes before the gag and then for two more minutes is a reveal like, "You see what we did there?! It was funny, yes?" Today's filmmakers need to go watch this move and see how it's really done!
</rant>

Shecky
10-19-2006, 10:23 AM
Lil: And shelf paper! Oh, Johnny, I love shelf paper!

Ma Kelly: With a father like "Killer" Kelly, it's a wonder neither of you turned out to be a piece 'o shit criminal!

Me gas da bus. You gas da bus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus. When's the next bus?
Odesti Fidellas. Centra fidellas. Hi fidellas.

Prisoner: Spit in his eye Johnny!
Johnny Dangerously: OK Rabbi.

msmith537
10-19-2006, 06:07 PM
Great Movie. I wish I could remember more of the visual gags. back in the days of the Zucker Bros and Abrahams, where a joke didn't need a setup and a reveal. If you got it, you were lucky.
I swear, watching a spoof film these days like Scary Movie or Hot Shots....


Hot Shots was written and directed by Abrahams and Scary Movie 4 was directed by David Zucker.

It's like you're saying the guy who directed A.I. should go back and study Close Encounters and E.T. (which he should).