Poster you most want to beat the fuck out of

[Byzantine]

Yeah, I've seen it. It's there. There are just some people out here that you just want to beat the living fuck out of. To start you off? Me. Byzantine. Want to pound me into the dirt, motherfucker? Think you can? Go to town you slimy piece of shit! What are you gonna do? Hit me or anyone else with your best shot!



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The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

Oh, Byzzy, do behave, you naughty thing, you!

[Satan]

Byz: You really think I wanna beat up a person who said she had to type with one hand when she looked at my picture?!?

Hell, as far as I'm concerned, anyone that messes with ya has to go through me!

;)

------------------
Brian O'Neill
CMC International Records
rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html (http://rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html)

ICQ 35294890
AIM Scrabble1
Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill

[Byzantine]

Oh Dif, don't even go there! How sweet you are with the first post. Like a virgin on her first night.... how's a fist feel, slammed up your ass? Like it? No? Then fight back.... I want flames and fire. Brimstone all around! Too tame out here.... I want that fire, that spark of hate... I want the flames of passionate hate to draw me down like tar...

[Byzantine]

"Byz: You really think I wanna beat up a person who said she had to type with one hand
when she looked at my picture?!?"

Didn't you read the other post? Where I said it was all a lie? Where I'd rip out my own genitalia with a fork not to have to bed you? Oh please, Satan, I count on you for nothing else but fun... so easy to slam, so easy to force and push and make this all nothing but the most hate filled of posts TennHippie has my pixs but you don't, not yet, so go to town, lover. How deep can your slams of me go?.

[Byzantine]

Nothing but a bunch of weak sisters! You all suck! Well, okay, I wouldn't say you suck but you inhale deeply!

------------------
The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

[ChiefScott]

Byz, you insolent twit!
How I would love to slice open your belly so you could watch your steaming entrails fall at your feet as you draw your final breath!
Neighborhood dogs would turn their muzzles away from the stench of your urine saturated intestines!
Your carcass would be left to rot in the sun since your mere presence would soil any consecrated ground!

There... happy now?

Teeny(referring to your mental capacity, of course), you ignorant slut . . .

Maggots writhe and die on the oozings of your festered womb, yet they are not plentiful enough to match your hunger. May their feces infest and deviate your septum. If your brain were implanted in a hummingbird, it would suck a mule's ass for a morning-glory!

Happy now?

[E1skeptic]

But... why Biz? Why should we all call you names, and tell you nasty things when we all like you? Are you going through a difficult phase, dear? Do you feel rejected, or depressed?

Are you trying to tell us something, but you're just too shy to be clear? We're here to help you, hun. Don't let the anger surface. Be calm, and rational, and everything will be ok.

Remember the words of that FABULOUS, WONDERFUL rock opera, JC Superstar's song:

"Try not to get worried,
try not to get into
problems that upset you.
Don't you know
everything's allright,
everything's fine..."

Sing it to yourself, and you'll feel much better, you'll see...

And now, darling, GET OFF MY BACK, I'M HAVING AN AWFUL HECK OF A TIME TRYING NOT TO BE PISSED OFF BY ANYONE!!!!!!!...and you almost did it.

Better luck next time. :)

[kellibelli]

I do....?
wow.
:o

[ChiefScott]

Yo, Kells,

Do I get that kiss now or what? Don't tell me you were just "Toad teasin'"!

[kellibelli]

Even my toes are blushing!


Come & get it...anytime...

[ChiefScott]

Cool it Kells. We're in the Pit, 'n people are watchin'!

[okatym]

Would you two get a room, paaaleeeeease ! :)

[Bluepony]

(In my best "Beavis and Butthead" voice)

Huh, huh, huh....you said "seamen"......

Bluepony
(Retired Wingnut and Cloud Dancer)




------------------
"...send lawyers, guns, and money..."

Warren Zevon

[Sealemon88]

Hey everybody......

I'm a newbie here, so I odn't really have a problem with anybody. :)

Then again, I'm always up for some "debating"....so what's the format?

1. General witty putdowns?
2. Threats of creative physical violence?
3. Sexual insults on a junior high level?

Just let me know...i'm flexable (insert joke here).

And Byzantine? If I had been just a LITTLE bit faster than your dog, I'D be your daddy!

------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

I want you all to know that I did not read this topic; principly because I am not interested in polling PEASANT OPINION!

Back to your hovels, you glue-sniffing, shitstained, heretical, substandard misanthropes.

You have littered the world with your asinine opinions, Biblical jabber, and used hypodermic needles for FAR TOO LONG!

A years worth of Torquemada's dedicated attention is far to good for you pirates, simonists, odelesques and drunkards!

I will give you the ultimate punishment! I will trap you in an elevator with Three Insurance Agents, Ken Starr, C#3, Newt Gingrich, AND>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
.......YANNI!

If you all grovel suitably, I may simply sell you to a cosmetics firm for animal testing purposes, instead.


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We have met the enemy, and He is Us.--Walt Kelly

(line break added by moderator)


[Note: This message has been edited by Lynn Bodoni]

[LongHrn99]

Daniel you are one sick SOB, you know that? How in the hell is someone supposed to be stuck in an elevator with C#3? Personally I'd crap myself. Of course then it would provide me something to fling at him.

[Byzantine]

Well, that was good. Not as good as it could be but I like it so far. And hey, I never said, "Just slam me" I was just giving you an opening. You didn't all have to ram your fists up my butt.... there are all KINDS of butts out here....



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The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

[ChiefScott]

Okay.
Contestant #3 really draws my ire (for one post on one thread -- I'm not saying it's justified, it's just where I'm at right now).
Nickrz pissed me off by not dealing as promptly as I'd've liked him to with a newly emerged troll.
BluePony perturbs me 'cause he was in the Air Force.
Kellibelli sexually frustrates me.
PapaBear confounds me with his flawless logic.
Oh, and those fuckwads at Kiwi got their heads up their asses.
Mangeorge and his "peace".
Satan and his "piece" (heatherlee).
and.... and....

well, that's about it.

[Pooch]

There was a poster whose limericks
pushed quite a few dopers to hysterics
when he refused to desist
he made the top of their list
and since then he's become paranoic

[Contestant #3]

I'd like to see any of you pansies TRY to beat the fuck outta me! Especially you dainty little Wiccans...or maybe some limp-wristed vegetarian...or one of pocket-protecting geeks...bring it on!! I'd bitch-slap you (and make you tell me that you liked it!) before you even got your dainty hand formed into a fist.

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Contestant #3

[Kat]

Until recently, I had no one I would put on this list, but now I gotta say I have been forced onto the "Contestant #3" bandwagon.

[Contestant #3]

Oh? Touched a nerve huh? So what is it? Are you a witch, a vegetarian, or a geek?
...or some combination of them?

Oh, here's another group of people that I like to insult...the folks at PETA...could you possibly be one of THOSE crazy bastards?

------------------
Contestant #3

[tracer]

You want insults, Byzantine? You want new orifices ripped into you? All right, then, you asked for it:

*ahem*

BYZANTINE WRITES RUN-ON SENTENCES!!!

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I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low.

[Kat]

Connie-boy: None of the above. Just someone who thinks you're a complete and total ass who enjoys posting deliberately offensive messages.

[Contestant #3]

Witches, geeks, and PETA jerks offend ME.

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Contestant #3

[LongHrn99]

C3, if ignorance were money you'd own the world. Please don't try your tough talk on me, I know how weak and pathetic radio people are. I could get the aliens you are so fond of to kill you before you could pry your fat ass out of your chair in the broadcast booth.

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"There are many sweeping generalizations that are always true" -Space Ghost

[Byzantine]

God, I'm gone for three days and C#3 has taken over MY thread! I swear to all that is holy and sacred you cling to my butt like tissue paper! Look you flaming little poo spot on my underwear, if you don't stop being you and start being more like everyone else I'm gonna... I'm gonna.... oh, poo! I don't know what I'm gonna do!

Oh, wait, I feel a song coming on.....

Gotta dance! (Flings arms up into the air, big smile on her face)
I just gotta dance!
(Okay, so I watched Singing in the Rain tonight, just shoot me now!)

E1skeptic– thanks for the nice words, I like you too :) Hell, I really do like everyone here in one way or another. I was just so sick of the Pit becoming this lame place with nothing going on! Flames and fire and hate seem to sharpen everyone. And I was touched (or prodded) by the insults flung my way. Funny, creative, excellent!

Am I hurt? Nope. Would I do it again? Yep. Oh, and Satan? Haven't heard back from you so hey, like, I was just kidding, right? Don't you sic Heather on me or nothing.... nor her batch of defensive friends!



------------------
The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

[Contestant #3]

Your incontinence is not my problem. My advice: Depends Undergarments.

------------------
Contestant #3

[Contestant #3]

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

LongHrn99,

Hellooooo? McFly? I'm no more a "radio person" than you are. Geesh, I thought everybody knew that!

The tough talk stands. Try to kick my ass and I'll slap you down so hard that your unborn children will cry.




------------------
Contestant #3

[Satan]

C#3:

I dunno... I mean, sure, I enjoy nice kaiser rolls and bagels, but Ham & Cheese on a PETA never offended me that much...

[kellibelli]

That was almost as funny as:
How in the hell is someone supposed to be stuck in an elevator with C#3? Personally I'd crap myself. Of course then it would provide me something to fling at him.
I laughed so hard it hurt!

[dougie_monty]

Go ahead, you guys, get that out of your systems. Then with your hostility thus vented, you can speak civilly to the rest of us. (My apologies to those in this topic who already can--and do. :)

------------------
"If you drive an automobile, please drive carefully--because I walk in my sleep."--Victor Borge

[SanibelMan]

I wouldn't piss on C#3's ashes, simply to avoid bringing the honor of color to his remains.

That was fun.

[Byzantine]

Again, we're back to C#3! He isn't the only one here! What about ARG220? What about Brihael? Jesum Crow, people! C#3 isn't the only game in town! What about that little shit, jjtm, who tried to steal my thunder with his/her own thread?

Man, I was counting on you folks for some major flames and all I'm getting is sunshine blown up C#3s skirt! Is this a love feast or a flame out war?

Fine, I'm just gonna pull the Heatherlee and take my toys and go home!

(Stomps off, slamming the door behind her)

------------------
The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

[Contestant #3]

Byzantine,

I guess that I'm just better at touching those sacred places in people's psyche's...

If it makes you feel any better though, I'll offer up my wife to kick your ass...

...there..am I on the right track? Or should I be making a more concerted effort to piss you off? Write back. Tell me how I can help.

------------------
Contestant #3

[Byzantine]

Your wife to kick my ass? What are you, a massive pussy? Hey, yeah I'm an amazon and all (for you newbies I'm 5'9" at 190 able to bench 130#) but I really didn't think C#3 would pass me off into a physical fight with HIS WIFE!

Jesus! My stars! You must be a whiny little turd in the toilet of life! Man, you expect your wife to fight me FOR you? You weak sister! What, does she pretend your penis is real too? Shit, my man, take off your supposed kid gloves and come after me yourself, you looser!

I know what you're really afraid of, you are worried that once I knock you down, straddle your skinny little hips, you'll do anything to satisfy me... yeah, you're right, you will... I'll make you. And make your wife cream too...

Wait, what was the question?

[Contestant #3]

My parents were real strict about me not hitting my sisters or any other girls for that matter and I just don't know that I could force myself to hit a girl to this day.

My wife on the other hand is a feisty little bitch at 5'7" and 135 lbs. She doesn't bench press, but she makes up for it with sheer will. She'd be happy to knock you on your fat ass on my behalf.

For someone that made a big deal about spelling in the "Oh fuck you" thread, how big of a loser are YOU to spell loser "looser"?

------------------
Contestant #3

[Byzantine]

Jesum Crow, so I GIVE you a cheap shot, you should get down on your knees and thank me! And my FAT ass? I don't know what planet you are on but believe me, sugar, I'm not fat! Nice rippling slabs of muscle here, lover! Yeah, you sound like one of those guys that expects every woman to be about 30# underweight just so you can shove her around!

Kinda scary for you when you run into one your own size, huh? Can't hit a GIRL well then, sugar, we don't have a problem as I'm a WOMAN... big, strong, vital! Could stomp your little girl-wife into the ground with my heel... you too for that matter!

Good, God, I really hope you and everyone else knows we're just joking, right? Man, I'd hate for people to think I was some kind of bully... it's one thing to joke but quite another for someone out there to take this shit seriously!



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The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

[E1skeptic]

Sheeesh, Byz! I was already taking bets.... now I'll have to give all the money back. Shit!

[ChiefScott]

Who's obsessing now, Byz?

[Byzantine]

Obsessing? On or over what? Fuck me nine ways to Sunday... what the hell are you talking about?

[kellibelli]

She is really funny when she is mad!

[Byzantine]

Mad? You haven't even SEEN me in my full glory... go look in the pit... gosh darn it all to heck but I was really mad then... with C#3? It's more like a soft, fuzzy kinda fury... he just doesn't bring me out of my gentle shell of woman-hood... but his WIFE, well, that might be fun! MOOOOHAHA!

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The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

[ChiefScott]

Just wind her up and watch her go!!!!

[ChiefScott]

Just wind her up and watch her go!!!!
Reeooowwww!!!

[AuraSeer]

I was about to post a half-serious complaint that this thread's title is ungrammatical. However, I realized that it wouldn't have the same ring if it said, "Poster out of whom you most want to beat the fuck."

[Diane]

Just an observation -

The reason these threads don't work is that true flames and anger must be born of something that hits a nerve. Call someone a whiner and BOOM, you got yourself some fire, attack someone's religion and watch the shit fly, make a general request for a fight and it will fizzle out because it just doesn't hit home.

You want a war? Post a topic that people have strong feelings (abortion, smoking, religion) and I guaranty that eventually someone is gonna get piss off. You can't have a flame-fest without passion, and you can't have passion unless it hits a nerve.


------------------
>^,,^<
KITTEN
Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

[Sealemon88]

Gee, Byzantine, you seem to have some deep rooted feelings of hostility. I suggest you meditate and open a dialogue with your inner child.

You seem to have issues here that can only be addressed by taking a swim in Lake You.

Now let's have a group hug.

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[Byzantine]

Diane–something must be working here, there seem to be quite a few posts!

Sealemon88–hey, I just don't have time to play around with my "inner-self-ness" like some other people out here! Perhaps I should go as Satan for some advice–op! He HATES that!

And let's have a group orgy rather than just a group hug ;)

[Diane]

Diane–something must be working here, there seem to be quite a few posts!

Yeah, but where's the passion and the fire and the hateful anger?

Do you need me and Kel to show y'all how it's done? ;)

Sheeesh!

------------------
>^,,^<
KITTEN
Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

[Satan]

Byzantine:

You are treading into some dangerous Judy Tenuta territory on this thread, girlfriend...

[ChiefScott]

Oooo! Accordian music and Emo Phillip-limp-dick jokes?

Count me out.

[Byzantine]

Don't you slam accordions!

Are you comparing me to Judy? Why thank you! She is completely warped!

[Sealemon88]

hey, what can I say, I think that new age shit is the most annoying crap a person can listen to ;)


A group orgy is a redundant phrase, but I guess you can't be too redundant with your orgies.

Oh yeah, before I forget...

Screw you Hermaphodity!! May your nipples invert and your shadow disapear! You wart-nosed, scabby, rank smellin, ooze drippin, K Mart shoppin, oxigen-deprived-as-a-fetus, chromosome lackin, hairy back lookin, Skeezer!

Feel better? Love ya.

------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[ChiefScott]

Says Byz --
"Don't you slam accordions!"

I never do! Especially when playing naked!!

[Byzantine]

Satan– I just gotta ask; what did you mean, exactly, by that Judy comment? You are not suggesting (as someone e-mailed me) that I'm plagiarizing her material or something, are you?

[Satan]

Byz: Nah, but then again, I'm not a fan, so who knows? I'm just saying I put your rant to her delivery, and I feel like I'm watching the new Hollywood Squares or something...

[Byzantine]

You watch that show? Man, you need some serious ass fucking! Tell Heather to get on the stick or rather, PUT on the stick and go to town!

[Satan]

Actually, Byzantine, I do not watch that show.

Which was my point all along.

Do the math, darlin'...

[Byzantine]

Do the math, darlin'...

?????

Welcome to non sequitur theater brought to you nightly by the Lord of Darkness, giving you the very best in eternal torment! That's right! Flames as high as your ass at low, lower than bottom, prices! Filmed in confuse o vision!

Love ya dude but that just struck me as weird. Math? Huh? Did I miss something again? It happens ya know! I just get too wrapped up in flaming on trolls (you are not one of them, I just like messing with you, well, messing with you verbally!) to pay attention to some of the finer points!

Your point must have stabbed far lower than my brain.... hey, stop that!

[WallyM7]

Say what?

Why, everyone here is wonderful!

------------------
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes-but doesn't

[WallyM7]

Say what?

Why, everyone here is wonderful!

------------------
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes-but doesn't

[WallyM7]

I didn't mind the other stuff,Daniel, but when you revealed that C#3 doesn't return his library books on time, well....

Let me roll up my sleeves here....

C#3, you are an abomination and a scourge on huumanity.

Eloctrocution is out of the question. You should be cut up into little pieces and fed to the dogs.

It's a pity that your primitive genetic material prevents you from breeding, for it deprives us from doing the same to your descendants.

May your life be long, and your pain unremitting.

------------------
The opposite of courage is not cowardice, but conformity

[WallyM7]

What the fuck? I know I didn't post this twice. Gotta check the mouse.

Meantime, Byz, I love the way your eyes flash when you vent your spleen. Sparks, man!

Take me! Have your way with me and cast me aside, you cyberwench from hell!

<font size=5>Ah, C#3; you crapulant, sniveling, pansy-assed , infected prostate gland, torn from the loins of a malajusted sea lion!
You DARE to befoul this glorious pages of this board after publicly questioning the existence of The Sainted Cecil?

You PRESUME to skulk in the corners of the BBQ pit, like the lice-encrusted used car salesman that you are? And without answering my challenge to a duel, posted earlier on this site? ( And I am certain that all true SDers will agree, hand grenades at 3 paces is a very reasonable way to duel.)
Your father was so low that they based the plot of "American Pie" on his love life!
And your mother was so ugly, that the first time your father ever sought out sexual gratification from baked goods was on his HONEYMOON!
I hear you are a defrocked Catholic priest. Tell me, did this happen before you were excommunicated for sodomizing hedgehogs, or after you were declared a cardinal sin by the Pope?
Hey Byz! I've got a relative that can loan us a complete set of Roto-Router equipment. Let's U & me team up & inesrt the hose in an oriface that will make C#3 the envy of all his buddies on Castro street.


Plus, C#3 never returns his library books on time. (I really HATE that!)</font>

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We have met the enemy, and He is Us.--Walt Kelly