Man Has Sex With Horse

[Chez Guevara]

Link (http://news.aol.co.uk/man-had-sex-with-horse/article/20061128115609990011).

Woollen, of Goatland Avenue, Longbenton, North Tyneside, admitted intercourse with an animal, theft and possession of cannabis and amphetamines.Wrong animal really.

Also the wrong way round. The correct procedure is to mount the horse and pick up speed, not pick up speed and then mount the horse.

[CalMeacham]

1.) The road company of Equus is getting into the roles too deeply


or

2.) Molly, eh? Nothing queer about Johnson.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

You're kidding me. The guy lived on GOATLAND avenue?

Talk about destiny!












(insert something about Hal)

[Least Original User Name Ever]

..AND his last name was "Woollen"?

Sometimes the jokes...they write themselves....

[Winston Smith]

This lady gets my Understatement of the Month Award for this gem...

"There's something wrong with him.''

Huh. Ya think? :)

[Least Original User Name Ever]

The guy musta been tall..or he was carrying around a stool of some kind. I mean, how tall does a dude have to be to bang a horse?

[MEBuckner]

Woollen, of Goatland Avenue, Longbenton, North Tyneside, admitted intercourse with an animal, theft and possession of cannabis and amphetamines.
This is your penis.

This is your penis on drugs.

Any questions?

[TheOnlySaneOne]

He was also seen riding Molly around her field in Wallsend, North Tyneside, without any trousers on.

...snicker

[Tully Mars]

The guy musta been tall..or he was carrying around a stool of some kind. I mean, how tall does a dude have to be to bang a horse?
You're obviously not familiar with the phrase, "stump broke."










It means you have them trained to back up to a stump and stand still. A really well-trained one will whinny every now and then to make you thinks she's enjoying it. Or, so I've heard.

[Jodi]

Something similar happened in Washington State last year and caused quite the kurfluffle. Except in WA the horse was the "top" and the man was the "bottom" and said man ended up dying of a perforated colon. See, he and his friend had sneaked into a neighbor's barn for a little midnight horse canoodling (HorseLover) and videotaping of same (HorseVoyeur). But then things went so, so wrong, and HV ended up taking HL to the ER, where the whole story eventually came out after HL died.

So then the police -- y'know, the "po-po's" -- had to think about what to charge the survivor HV with. Cruelty to animals? The horse was fine, back at the barn, smoking a cig. Bestiality? Not a crime in WA. Burglary? That means going into someone else's structure to commit a crime therein, and they couldn't find a crime therein, so nope. At the end of the day, they charged him with trespassing, and he pled guilty.

And for this very reason WA just passed a law criminalizing bestiality as a felony.

[Corner Case]

He asked for seven similar animal intercourse offences to be taken into consideration.Is he bucking for an award?...ordered to carry out 100 hours community work...I hope it's not at the local vet clinic.

[Ponder Stibbons]

So do you think that afterwards Woollen had serious night mares?

[motomoon]

Something similar happened in Washington State last year and caused quite the kurfluffle. Except in WA the horse was the "top" and the man was the "bottom" and said man ended up dying of a perforated colon. See, he and his friend had sneaked into a neighbor's barn for a little midnight horse canoodling (HorseLover) and videotaping of same (HorseVoyeur). But then things went so, so wrong, and HV ended up taking HL to the ER, where the whole story eventually came out after HL died.


and if you're really unfortunate you can stumble across the video on the internet. though, might i suggest eye and brain bleach afterwords.

[Jodi]

and if you're really unfortunate you can stumble across the video on the internet.

Heh. I'm just imagining how one could "unfortunately" "stumble" across such a video. I was googling for the Presbyterians' recipe for tatertot hotdish and my stars! You would not believe what popped up! ;)

[lieu]

Equus? Damn near sodomized us!

[bouv]

Heh. I'm just imagining how one could "unfortunately" "stumble" across such a video. I was googling for the Presbyterians' recipe for tatertot hotdish and my stars! You would not believe what popped up! ;)

From speaking with my friends who have seen it (no, really, it wasn't me,) it goes by the name "Mr.Hands" sometimes, so one wouldn't have to be searching for "horse butt sex" to see it.

[TokyoBayer]

The guy musta been tall..or he was carrying around a stool of some kind. I mean, how tall does a dude have to be to bang a horse?"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

[Beware of Doug]

Something similar happened in Washington State last year and caused quite the kurfluffle.I believe because someone else later made a film about it, no? Called In the Forest There Is Every Kind of Perv or some such?

[Cat Whisperer]

Is it terribly, terribly wrong that there is a tiny little part of me that kinda wants to go look for that video? (I have learned my lesson about the internet, though - if it sounds like something that I'll wish I hadn't seen, it is.)

[Beware of Doug]

I was googling for the Presbyterians' recipe for tatertot hotdishEeew. Those Presbyterians obviously haven't got the hang of hotdish. I think you need to google the Lutherans.

[Hunter Hawk]

Is it terribly, terribly wrong that there is a tiny little part of me that kinda wants to go look for that video? (I have learned my lesson about the internet, though - if it sounds like something that I'll wish I hadn't seen, it is.)
I've seen the video. Speaking as somebody whose reaction to goatse was "meh", I can confidently say that you reeeeeeally oughta think twice before looking for it.

[Moirai]

Equus? Damn near sodomized us!


BWAAHAAAHAAAHAAAA!!!

Priceless!

:D

[Least Original User Name Ever]

"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"


Point taken.

[TheLoadedDog]

From speaking with my friends who have seen it (no, really, it wasn't me,) it goes by the name "Mr.Hands" sometimes, so one wouldn't have to be searching for "horse butt sex" to see it.
Hell yeah. Thanks for that. You wouldn't want to stumble across anything NSFW, now. :D

[motomoon]

Alright people, solely in the interest of fighting ignorance I have found the video in question. For science only, natch. I really really want to warn you, this is not really something that you should watch. ever. Of course it's not work, family, or friends safe so make sure nobody surprises your viewing or you might have a lot of explaining to do. I will certainly understand if the mods remove the link. Of course you have to copy and paste it, and remove the spaces.

Again, this is extremely not safe for work, family, friends, children, or horses.

http:// lbn . threat . tv / mrhands . mpg

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Yup. Saw it.

Can't unsee it.




Dude gets drilled, though. Gah.
*gets the heebie-jeebies*

[Subway Prophet]

Here's a more worksafe link. Wikipedia article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan)

[NajaNivea]

Well... that was... something.

[BobLibDem]

I'm willing to bet that Molly was both unsatisfied and disappointed.

[Mindfield]

In the interest of equal opportunity offenses:

Woman in indecent act with horse, say police (http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/woman-in-indecent-act-with-horse-say-police/2006/11/29/1164777647904.html)

(No video, thank Og. I ain't clickin' on that link. There isn't enough mental floss in the world.)

[brianjedi]

Eeew. Those Presbyterians obviously haven't got the hang of hotdish. I think you need to google the Lutherans.

[random hijack]

What the hell is hotdish?

[/random hijack]

[Count Blucher]

Over the years, I've cursed a couple of nags for finishing out of the money at The Meadowlands racetrack. I even remember saying out loud "...given that horse's race history, how in the Hell could it have come in last? What Happened to it...?"

In hindsight, I guess I should be grateful that all I lost was a couple bucks.

[OneCentStamp]

Alright people, solely in the interest of fighting ignorance I have found the video in question. For science only, natch. I really really want to warn you, this is not really something that you should watch. ever. Of course it's not work, family, or friends safe so make sure nobody surprises your viewing or you might have a lot of explaining to do. I will certainly understand if the mods remove the link. Of course you have to copy and paste it, and remove the spaces.

Again, this is extremely not safe for work, family, friends, children, or horses.

http:// lbn . threat . tv / mrhands . mpg
You would think that a warning in 48 point type would be enough. But no, I had to go watch it. :eek: :(

[Jodi]

[Total Hijack Away From Hot Horsie Lovin']

[random hijack]

What the hell is hotdish?

[/random hijack]

My stars, who doesn't know hotdish? Hot dish is the Minnesota/ Wisconsin/ Dakotas term for American casserole. It's generally made with cream of mushroom or cream of celery soup, and frequently has crushed potato chips on top. The stereotypical "hotdish" is tatertot hotdish, recipe here (http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1838,135186-246193,00.html). Note the near-complete absence of any natural food.

The classic American-upper-Midwest buffet is hotdish, salad (frequently molded Jello salad), bars, and punch. Bars are pan cookies -- you know, Hello Dolly bars, peanut butter bars, etc. Punch is made with red Kool-aid and 7-up -- no alcohol, heavens no! You eat the buffet in the church basement, on long tables covered with plastic tablecloths, each one having a homemade centerpiece; there will be a drawing at the end of the evening to see who has to -- sorry, gets to -- take the centerpieces home. Maybe it's after the annual meeting where the church budget was passed, maybe it's father-daughter dinner, maybe it's a confirmation class fundraiser -- you get the idea.

Beware of Doug took exception to my assigning hotdish to the Presbyterians and he is of course correct. Since most of the people eating this type of meal in MN/WS/ND/SD are Scandahoovian, they're probably Lutheran, not Presbyterians.

[Cat Whisperer]

You would think that a warning in 48 point type would be enough. But no, I had to go watch it. :eek: :(
I think a sociologist could write a doctoral thesis about why we want so badly to click links that we know damned well we're going to regret seeing. (Staying strong so far - wish me luck!)

Jodi, I've never heard of "hotdish" either. I like the term. I think I shall use it now.

[OneCentStamp]

I think a sociologist could write a doctoral thesis about why we want so badly to click links that we know damned well we're going to regret seeing. (Staying strong so far - wish me luck!)
I really really think you should click on the link and watch the video. The most shock-and-aweing part of the video is when:
Shame on you for looking in this spoiler box! Might as well go watch the video now! :cool:

[Cat Whisperer]

You're pretty funny, OnceCentStamp, but you know, looks aren't everything.


:p

[beergeek279]

"Wwwwwwwwwwwwilbur.......buy me dinner fffirst!!" :D

[betenoir]

Well at least he did it right. The guy who got fucked BY a horse died from it.

[fisha]

You've never heard of hotdish???!!!

The sad thing is, I find it impossible to believe that someone hasn't heard of hotdish, yet the idea of a guy getting screwed by a horse just makes me go "Meh."

[Dr. Rieux]

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Hello, Wilbur!"

[Mindfield]

You've never heard of hotdish???!!!

The sad thing is, I find it impossible to believe that someone hasn't heard of hotdish, yet the idea of a guy getting screwed by a horse just makes me go "Meh."

That makes two people who've never heard of "hotdish."

I suspect I am going to regret asking about it, however. I'm expecting some Goatse thing.

[Mindfield]

You knew it would happen.

Sundance will now be showing the documentary Zoo (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2003453751_aebriefs30.html?iic) at its next film festival. I'm really wondering what sort of actor would review a script like this and think to himself, "Yeah. I think I could really get into the part of a man who gets fucked to death by a horse."

[Subway Prophet]

I really really think you should click on the link and watch the video. The most shock-and-aweing part of the video is when:
[...spoiler...]
D'OH! I read the spoiler! :o

[Moirai]

I'm really wondering what sort of actor would review a script like this and think to himself, "Yeah. I think I could really get into the part of a man who gets fucked to death by a horse."


Maybe he used to be called Angus the Character Actor, but now...

:D

[Snooooopy]

Why couldn't he have had sex with A Man Called Horse instead? A lot fewer people would look at him funny.

[Malacandra]

You've never heard of hotdish???!!!

The sad thing is, I find it impossible to believe that someone hasn't heard of hotdish, yet the idea of a guy getting screwed by a horse just makes me go "Meh."

"Meh"? No, that's goats, not horses.

[Elendil's Heir]

Why couldn't he have had sex with A Man Called Horse instead? A lot fewer people would look at him funny.

At least on Brokeback Mountain.

[BurnMeUp]

At least on Brokeback Mountain.
As Dave Attell said "if you have to have sex with an animal, make it a horse. At least then you have a ride home afterwards.

[Tuckerfan]

The guy musta been tall..or he was carrying around a stool of some kind. I mean, how tall does a dude have to be to bang a horse?
Well, maybe he was hung like one?

There's a "Ride 'em cowboy" joke in this, but I'm not going to make it.

[Savannah]

I think a sociologist could write a doctoral thesis about why we want so badly to click links that we know damned well we're going to regret seeing. (Staying strong so far - wish me luck!) I didn't click on the zit thread with its mysterious link that provoked such reaction, and I'm not clicking on the horsie movie. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. After many years of life, when someone says "you don't want to know", I'm old enough to think: yeah. I probably don't want to know.

I may be morbidly curious about how a horse penis can fit into a human anus, and I may occasionally speculate (because of this; I really don't think it would have occurred to me previously)... But I will sleep well tonight knowing that I don't know.

Consider my ignorance triumphant.

[pbbth]

Hey, that tater tot hot dish recipe is totally different from the tater tot hot dish that my family makes! Don't judge all hot dish by that recipe alone :) Ours generally involves tater tots, cream of mushroom soup, a can of corn, ground beef, and occasionally cheese on top. It is delicious, but the one with all the sour cream and such I can imagine not being the tastiest of things.

[Daffyd]

Hey, that tater tot hot dish recipe is totally different from the tater tot hot dish that my family makes! Don't judge all hot dish by that recipe alone :) Ours generally involves tater tots, cream of mushroom soup, a can of corn, ground beef, and occasionally cheese on top. It is delicious, but the one with all the sour cream and such I can imagine not being the tastiest of things.

I had to read this a few times and go through the thread to make sure there wasn't some strange double-entendre going on... Hey, did ya see the guy with the horse and the tater-tots? {wink, wink}

Unfortunately, I don't think that was ground beef, and it sure wasn't cream of mushroom soup... :eek:

[pbbth]

Sorry about that Daffyd! Didn't mean to be all confusing. I should have used quotes or something but I am WAY too lazy to go all the way back through and figure out who said what, copy and paste, etc.

[zoogirl]

Am I the only one mentally singing "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy"?