Stupid cleaning stories.

[wolfman]

I was cleaning my house today, and got to thinking about some of the dumber things I did while cleaning.

Being a guy, cleaning is not on the highest of my priorities, beyond not having anything smelly, or slimy in plain view.

But one time as I was moving out of an aparment I had lived in for a few years, I dicided to do the traditional"clean the hell out of everything and hope to get the deposit back" routine. It was the first time I ever tried to clean the hell out of an oven, and I ran into some problems getting the pans under the burners clean. I bought and tried every counter cleaner, over cleaner, lighter fluid, Carb cleaner, and diluted acid. Finally after about 25 bucks worth of cleaning products, 6 hours of scrubing, worn out hands, screamin pain in my elbows and shoulders, and finally an abrasive disk and polishing disk on my dremel, I got the damn things looking as shiny and pristene as new.

About a month later I noticed you can just buy new ones for about a buck. :smack:

I have also done the 'hand dishwasher soap in the machine bit' and had an impromptu foam party all over my carpet.

And the homicidal spatula I mentioned a couple years ago.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=275284


Can anyone beat me in dumb cleaning stories?

[MaddyStrut]

How about dumb "not cleaning" stories?

My worst was an apartment I lived in for three years. When I was moving out, someone asked me if I'd remembered to clean the tray under the fridge. Err? There's a tray under there?

Three years of spilled junk that had congealed into an awful slime was NOT a pretty looking or smelling experience!

[Frank]

I spent hours shampooing a carpet trying to get the walking path marks out of it.

Couple days later, I went by to visit my estranged wife, and my carpet was torn out and on the lawn.

Got my deposit back; I guess that was normal wear and tear.

[tremorviolet]

How about dumb "not cleaning" stories?

My worst was an apartment I lived in for three years. When I was moving out, someone asked me if I'd remembered to clean the tray under the fridge. Err? There's a tray under there?

Three years of spilled junk that had congealed into an awful slime was NOT a pretty looking or smelling experience!

Wait, there's a tray under the fridge? Like all fridges? Under the entire fridge or is it actually in the fridge compartment?

[Critical Mass]

I'm living in company provided housing in the arctic.

The house I'm was reasonably tidy when I moved in, but it was obvious that the house had been used for transient employees rather than permanently based ones. The oven in particular was pretty gross.

So after I'd been here for about a month, I set out to clean the oven. Down on my hands and knees for about an hour with oven cleaner fumes, scrubbing my fingers to the bones. When I was done, it was in good shape.

About a week later - I realized that the oven was a self cleaning model. D'oh!

[Mangetout]

Here's a dumb cleaning story:

Back when we were kids, my sister learned that you can 'clean' silver and other metals by putting them in water with soda crystals and pieces of aluminium foil, so we decided to clean our mum's favourite silver pendant and earrings in this way. What we did not know is that it would remove the delicate enamelled design on the front of them, and would destroy the lustre - leaving it very clean, but with a bright matt finish.

So, anytime I hear anyone suggest this method for cleaning jewellery (or if they suggest using cola, ketchup or other acidic substances), I slap them really hard around the face.

[MaddyStrut]

Wait, there's a tray under the fridge? Like all fridges? Under the entire fridge or is it actually in the fridge compartment?

Not all fridges. My current one doesn't. This old one did. Sort of underneath the door and above the air vents.

[tremorviolet]

Not all fridges. My current one doesn't. This old one did. Sort of underneath the door and above the air vents.

Huh, I'm 39 and I've nevere noticed a tray before. I wonder if I've been leaving it filthy this whole time? :eek: I'll have to go home and look at my current fridge.

[Ferret Herder]

Huh, I'm 39 and I've nevere noticed a tray before. I wonder if I've been leaving it filthy this whole time? :eek: I'll have to go home and look at my current fridge.
If you don't have one, and you do have a drawer in the bottom of the fridge, pull that out and take a look under there. Yeah, I had that surprise when moving out of an apartment. :eek:

[The Blue-Sighted Shadow]

I used to have one of those refrigerator-freezer units that required constant defrosting. So one day, I got impatient and used an ice pick. Freon burns, ruins all the food in the fridge, and makes the house smell funny for days. I now have a nice frost-free model.

[Mama Zappa]

I used to have one of those refrigerator-freezer units that required constant defrosting. So one day, I got impatient and used an ice pick. Freon burns, ruins all the food in the fridge, and makes the house smell funny for days. I now have a nice frost-free model.
You're not alone. Many years ago, one of my brothers tried to pry loose the ice cube tray (metal tray). It wouldn't come loose. So he tried to pry it loose with a table knife. He succeeded beyond his wildest dreams :smack:. We got a new fridge just after that.

My worst cleaning mistake wasn't exactly *cleaning*, but decorating-related. Bathroom was wallpapered. But the wallpaper started peeling pretty much as soon as it was installed (and no, we didn't do it ourselves, we *paid* someone to do it, argh!). So we decided to remove it. Wallpaper remover didn't touch it. So we started trying to peel/scrub/scrape it off.

Wound up removing the top layer of the wallboard as well.

We had to bring in a pro to fix our mess.

[Sapo]

Being a guy, cleaning is not on the highest of my priorities, beyond not having anything smelly, or slimy in plain view.


Am I the only one worried about those last 3 words?

[Cyn]

I needed to do laundry, so I ran to WalMart and bought a huge container of liquid detergent. I thought I'd wash what I had on, too, so I stripped naked and walked thus through the kitchen to snag the tablecloth and next I knew, was flat on my back seeing stars. The laundry detergent had leaked all over the tile floor from a tiny hole in the container and I slipped in the puddle. As far as I could tell, I wasn't hurt, so I tried to get up. Hands and feet and everything else covered in detergent. On tile. Naked skin+liquid detergent+tile+Cyn panicking. Drachillix and I had just started dating and I didn't want him to remember me that way. My mom lived an hour away. Best friend at work until 6. I oozed myself across the floor onto the carpeted livingroom floor and rolled until I could wipe enough detergent off to get some purchase and arise. Unhurt. And smelling very very April Fresh. Threw a towel on the shower floor for grip and washed and washed and washed. Didn't do laundry until way later.

[WhyNot]

How about dumb "not cleaning" stories?

My worst was an apartment I lived in for three years. When I was moving out, someone asked me if I'd remembered to clean the tray under the fridge. Err? There's a tray under there?

Three years of spilled junk that had congealed into an awful slime was NOT a pretty looking or smelling experience!
Waaaaah?

Uh oh.

If I don't post again in the next 24 hours, send a hazmat team to my kitchen, 'kay?

[Savannah]

Oh, yeah, right. Like I'm the only person who ever looked at some ammonia, and some bleach, and thought...

I bet if I mixed these, I'd really get things clean!

:smack:

[Quiddity Glomfuster]

Oh, yeah, right. Like I'm the only person who ever looked at some ammonia, and some bleach, and thought...

I bet if I mixed these, I'd really get things clean!

:smack:


Or 'Gee, I bet some bleach will really get this cat box clean :D " :smack: I left when it started hissing.

[Aunt Flow]

Or 'Gee, I bet some bleach will really get this cat box clean :D " :smack: I left when it started hissing.

10% bleach solution works great for that ;p But pure bleach? I used to know someone who would soak his feet in bleach to get rid of corns or something. Strange...

[Nava]

Oh, yeah, right. Like I'm the only person who ever looked at some ammonia, and some bleach, and thought...

I bet if I mixed these, I'd really get things clean!

:smack:

One of my classmates in college was one of those dudes who have problems with the whole concept of "rules". For lab, we had our own space, about two meters worth of tabletop with some closet space underneath. Lab rules said that "any container left in the closet and containing anything other than air must be stoppered hermetically".

He left a flask with HCl solution and one with ammonia unstoppered over Easter break... you know, those ammonium chloride crystals really are white! And they were aaaaaaaaall over his stuff. He tried to cadge help from the rest of us and we just laughed at him (cruel? maybe, but he'd caused trouble for many people and went on causing more; one of his "jokes" got me showered in sulphuric acid, cost me a new pair of glasses and would have meant my eyes had I not been wearing them).



I've seen guys go to the TA with a flask full of gunk. TA says "ok, what did you try?" and the guy lists water and a whole bunch of solvents. Then the TA says "have you applied elbow grease along with any of those? Scotch-Brite is your friend, you know..." They selected our chemicals specifically for being easy to clean, but yeah, it needed elbow grease.



Several times I've helped friends move and watched their surprise at finding out that dirt does get under furniture. The house I own in Spain came with some furniture the old owners didn't want to take; moving one of those yielded several 100-peseta coins.

[wolfman]

Am I the only one worried about those last 3 words?
Hey, I watch Law and Order. If it's not in plain view then you arn't allowed to notice it at all. All that crap behind closed closet doors, and in cabinets doesn't count.

[Dung Beetle]

I once mopped a kitchen floor with straight bleach. I wanted to get it really clean, y'see.

I have no sense of smell, so maybe I didn't quit as soon as I should have. By the time I was finished, my nose was running and tears were rolling from my stinging eyes. I felt like I'd been maced.

And then, the other people in the household had the nerve to complain that it was bothering them too!

[LouisB]

My ex decided to completely clean the kitchen one day. She emptied cabinets, cleaned them, and put the stuff back. Except for the Tupperware stuff---she was a Tupperware junkie. She ran out of counter space and put some Tupperware in the oven for safekeeping while she cleaned the cabinet. She put the Tupperware on the counter back in the cabinet but forgot about the stuff in the oven. Later on, she decided to clean the oven, which happened to be a self cleaning model. If you've ever melted Tupperware in your oven, you know what a chore it can be to get the goo out. To her credit, and it hurts me to say that, she did it all by herself and actually got the oven sparkling clean.

[Harmonious Discord]

Huh, I'm 39 and I've nevere noticed a tray before. I wonder if I've been leaving it filthy this whole time? :eek: I'll have to go home and look at my current fridge.

A refridgerator drains into a shallow pan underneath the unit. It's an evaperator pan, that is emptied by evaporation. You normaly don't have to do anything with it, so most people don't know it's there. The pan fills with drained solids over the years.

[Stout]

Not only have I done the table knife to clean out the freezer thing ( when I opened the yellow pages to call a repairman, the company that had the graphic of a guy doing just what I did, and recoiling in horror from the hisss) I've also done the straight bleach on a large patch of mouse piss that I discovered under my fridge.

I now have psychological issues when it comes to cleaning and fridges, much to the annoyance of my wife.

[Sailboat]

Oh, yeah, right. Like I'm the only person who ever looked at some ammonia, and some bleach, and thought...

I bet if I mixed these, I'd really get things clean!

:smack:

I once knew someone who was, well, not too bright. During the time I knew him he had various mishaps occur, mostly due to his failure to think things through. One day he told me about the time he was part of a cleaning disaster as a restaurant dishwasher. I don't know if it was entirely true, but he was a feckless fellow and seemed to be basically honest.

There was apparently a blocked drain in the restaurant floor. Someone had a bucket full of cleaning solution and was trying to un-block the drain with the solution and a broom handle. Suddenly the restaurant inspector paid a surprise visit! The waitstaff tried to stall him in the from part of the restaurant while efforts to clear the blocked drain were redoubled.

Under pressure, my acquaintance and his manager had the bright idea of pouring bleach into the bucket of solution. Bleach cuts through stuff! But alas, the bucket began to boil and fume. Too late, they realized the original cleaning solution was ammonia-based!

Now faced with more than a blocked drain -- indeed, a bucket generating chlorine gas -- they decided to open the back door and dump it in the alley.

But the back door was blocked somehow (yes, that's also a violation the inspector would flag them for). Now left with little choice, as poison gas started to build up in the enclosed space, they took the hissing, fuming mess out the front door instead, shouting a warning.

Imagine if you will, the restaurant inspector, here to look for safety violations. Perhaps he senses that the waitstaff is being unusually solicitous, and begins to suspect he is being distracted from his official duties.

Suddenly the kitchen bursts open, and two yelling men carry a boiling bucket of poison gas through the customer area!

I don't think the establishment passed that particular inspection.

Sailboat

[ouryL]

My uncle's friend thought cleaning a greasy hood vent with gasoline was a cheap innovative way to do it. Well, the fire department determined that it was that and the gas stove/oven that contributed to the explosion. :(

[ouryL]

My uncle's friend thought cleaning a greasy hood vent with gasoline was a cheap innovative way to do it. Well, the fire department determined that it was that and the gas stove/oven that contributed to the explosion. :(

The local prosecutor took the case to a Grand Jury because he couldn't believe someone could be so stupid. However, a grown man crying on the stand convinced them it was so. :(

[Velma]

The house I lived in during college had hardwood floors, the first time I had lived somewhere with them. After a while the stairs got really dirty and I decided to dust them. I used Pledge.

All was well as I dusted the bottom steps while standing on the floor, then I started to climb the stairs to dust the top ones and almost killed myself. Socks + Pledged stairs = slippery death. That build up is meant to stay on and protect your wood too, so it took a while before we could use the stairs without clinging to the banister for dear life. Surprised a few guests, too.

[Hypno-Toad]

Reading all these stories shows me how lucky I was growing up. I've pried ice out of the freezer without mishap. I've never mixed bleach and ammonia, but just out of luck. Definately not from knowing better. I've had fun with the whole clean up for the deposit run-around. have you ever vacuumed up dust bunnies so massive that they actually make a sound getting sucked up in the hose?

[Beadalin]

My grandfather took a lot of odd jobs during the Depression, including a brief stint as a janitor. There was an unlabelled bottle of clear, colorless fluid in the supply closet, and he wanted to find out if it was bleach or ammonia. He uncapped the bottle, stuck his nose over the opening and sniffed deeply.

Woke up an unknown length of time later with a welt on his head from where he struck it against a metal shelf on hs way down. But at least he knew it was ammonia.

[According to Pliny]

My friend was cleaning his brand new Italian sports convertible.
He aimed the high pressure wand at a black speck on the nose of the hood.
Instead of the speck flying off, it got bigger.
It was a pit, not a speck, and the pressure wand lifted the adjoining chip of paint.
I never saw a man so crushed.

[Zabali_Clawbane]

The house I lived in during college had hardwood floors, the first time I had lived somewhere with them. After a while the stairs got really dirty and I decided to dust them. I used Pledge.

All was well as I dusted the bottom steps while standing on the floor, then I started to climb the stairs to dust the top ones and almost killed myself. Socks + Pledged stairs = slippery death. That build up is meant to stay on and protect your wood too, so it took a while before we could use the stairs without clinging to the banister for dear life. Surprised a few guests, too.


Yikes! Glad you and your friends survived to tell the tale! Do you use Murphy's Oil Soap (http://www.colgate.com/app/MurphyOilSoap/US/Home.cvsp) (not oily) now?

[Velma]

Yikes! Glad you and your friends survived to tell the tale! Do you use Murphy's Oil Soap (http://www.colgate.com/app/MurphyOilSoap/US/Home.cvsp) (not oily) now?

Well I'm not in that house anymore, but I have learned a thing or 2 about cleaning wood since then. Anyway, now our house has Pergo floors and Swiffer has been invented.

[MissGypsy]

The house I lived in during college had hardwood floors, the first time I had lived somewhere with them. After a while the stairs got really dirty and I decided to dust them. I used Pledge.

All was well as I dusted the bottom steps while standing on the floor, then I started to climb the stairs to dust the top ones and almost killed myself. Socks + Pledged stairs = slippery death. That build up is meant to stay on and protect your wood too, so it took a while before we could use the stairs without clinging to the banister for dear life. Surprised a few guests, too.

Sorry, but that gave me the best giggle. The first time I had to clean hardwood floors, I thought they were a bit dull, so I sprayed a couple of cans of Pledge all over them and cleaned them. (Hey, it works on the coffee table, so why not?) It was like a skating rink, and it’s a wonder someone didn’t break a leg.

Seemed like a good idea at the time, though, didn’t it? :p

[Harmonious Discord]

Well I'm not in that house anymore, but I have learned a thing or 2 about cleaning wood since then. Anyway, now our house has Pergo floors and Swiffer has been invented.

I've busted my ass on one of those floors after a swifter was used on it. Do not enter a room in socks and try to make a sharp directional change. The worst thing in a retail store that people did to the floor, was spray furniture polish to check the scent. It was super slick until the patch was stripped and rewaxed. The old man spraying stripes on the floor to see the color of spray paints, made my day.

[Harmonious Discord]

The wax on a floor would be agood thing to remember if somebody in breaking into your house, call 911 and spray the floors after you. They'll bust there head open if they cahse you.

[Captain_C]

I used to have one of those refrigerator-freezer units that required constant defrosting. So one day, I got impatient and used an ice pick. Freon burns, ruins all the food in the fridge, and makes the house smell funny for days. I now have a nice frost-free model.


Hah, me too! I swear they really need to make that inner-metal liner a lot thicker, or have some sort of warning on there.

[Stout]

Speaking of using volatile. flammable solvents as cleaners...

About a decade ago, a worker in a pizza restaurant decided that gasoline would be an excellent product to degrease an oven.

snip,,, cut and paste from some website,,note the name of the restaurant ( caps not mine )

(VANCOUVER) The cleanup continues following an early morning
explosion on Vancouver's west side. Two restaurants, ``DYNAMITE PIZZA''
and the Orchid Garden Singapore-Thai restaurant, were levelled. Several
other businesses suffered heavy damage.
Fire officials believe the explosion was caused by a restaurant
worker who was using gas to clean an oven. He's in criticial condition
with second and third degree burns to his entire body. The blast knocked
out windows more than one-hundred feet away and there are huge plates of
glass all over the street and shards litter the sidewalks. Two banks have
had their windows blown out, so police have sealed the area to prevent
looting.

[FatBaldGuy]

Stout, welcome to the Straight Dope. I hope you decide it's worth your while to become a member here.

In the future, when you quote from a news story or other web site, it's considered good form to include a link to the source, and then to quote a short exerpt (like the one you posted) in a quote block.

If you're not sure how to do this check out the FAQ's.

[Zsofia]

Man, oh man, you guys should have seen my boyfriend and his roomates moving out of their apartment this past spring. I mean, they'd never cleaned anything they didn't have to, even the really anal retentive one, but they want their deposit back, right? So evidently one of them is supposed to be cleaning the toilet, and comes in from the bathroom with a... felted ring of something, held on a stick at arm's length.

Pubesfelt.

Evidently, if you live in a house full of guys who never ever ever ever clean the toilet, pubic hair will just weave itself into a whole new textile under the toilet rim. Who knew?

[Nava]

Hah, me too! I swear they really need to make that inner-metal liner a lot thicker, or have some sort of warning on there.

There ARE warnings there.

Mind you, if you let the ice get thick enough, you won't be able to read them.

When I was in Costa Rica, the freezers got a lot of ice, so I would defrost mine about once a week. When my roomie decided to hire a cleaning lady, I started doing it Wednesday morning because that was the day she came: the manager of the apartment complex had mentioned having problems with the cleaning ladies "trying to hurry defrosting".

A coworker's freezer got busted by the cleaning lady while we were there; well, one that I heard of. There were three cleaning ladies who worked those apartments (apartment renters just contracted the same women who cleaned the common areas): you would have thought that after a few times they'd know better!

[Beadalin]

"DYNAMITE PIZZA''
For once, a business that lives (or lived) up to its name.

[Canadjun]

I guess I was lucky. I defrosted my previous (non-frost-free) fridge many times with a hammer and I don't think I damaged it. Its compressor finally died one day and the apartment management replaced it with a frost-free one. I haven't needed to beat on my current one (yet).

And, yes, a few years ago I learned that you shouldn't try cleaning your bathroom floors with bleach right out of the bottle. Rather hard on the eyes and nose!

[Missy2U]

My husband used to work at a mortuary (this had to be back in the 70's - he's told me the story once or twice and I forget) - one evening, he and his brother were cleaning the basement where they did the embalming. He was using something that was naptha (?) based - I'm not sure what exactly it was, but it was really, really flammable, there was no ventilation, and the furnace was downstairs in that basement and it had a pilot light - not a good combo.

He and his brother blew up the mortuary embalming room while cleaning the floor.

[Stout]

FatBaldGuy,,thanks for the welcome, I do plan on becoming a full member in the next couple of days now that I've decided I'll stick around.
I'm aware of the "proper" way of presenting a news item however due to the nature of the site I pulled that item from I decided to do it the way I did because the story was buried 3/4 of the way down the page on what looked more like someone's blog than a real news site. Heck it didn't even look like a proper blog, just a page of text that google must have sucked out of some archive.

[Not a Platypus]

A great way to defrost a freezer is to get a small pot of water boiling, empty your freezer (this won't take long), stick the pot in there and shut the door for maybe 10 minutes.

A lot of the ice will melt and what's left is a lot easier to remove.


The only stupid thing I can think of at the moment is using bleach to clean windows. Definitely not a streak-free shine :smack:

[Dinsdale]

Oh, yeah, right. Like I'm the only person who ever looked at some ammonia, and some bleach, and thought...

I bet if I mixed these, I'd really get things clean!

:smack:

My dad, normally quite responsible, nearly offed himself that way one time giving the basement a good scubdown. Managed to stagger out the door before collapsing in the yard. Oops!

[Stout]

Did anybody else ever figure out why the Armor Oil bottle say's "don't use on vehicle control surfaces" the hard way ? I remember an incident from my youth where my nice clean, shiny brake pedal caused me do give a small love tap to the car in front of me.

[Missy2U]

Check out this poor guy. Happened yesterday. (http://www.dailysouthtown.com/news/178495,201NWS1.article)

[Dung Beetle]

Holy crap! That must have affected him awfully fast, for him not to be able to walk away.

[phall0106]

When Hallboy was about four, I'd left him and the Hallgirls at home when I went to work. My philosophy is to keep them busy, as it will lessen the opportunities for them to get into trouble, so they each had chore lists. Since Hallboy was so young, and was just learning to read, his was pretty simple.

Mid-afternoon, I get a hysterically angry phone call from Hallgirl2. She was sputtering so badly in anger, the only thing I could understand was when she finally screeched into the phone, "Here! Let HIM tell you what he did!" Hallboy came onto the phone, sobbing. At this point, I was beginning to panic and screamed into the phone, "WHAT HAPPENENED????"

Come to find out, Hallboy had read through his list of chores and came to the one that said, "Dust the tables. Spray the polish on the rag, not the tables!" Only, he'd read the directions incorrectly, instead of spraying the polish on the rag, he'd read "Dust the tables. Spray the polish on the RUG, not the tables!"

He'd sprayed an entire can of Liquid Gold furniture polish all over the carpeting in the livingroom, the foyer and the diningroom. For weeks we slid around the house--it didn't matter if we were bare footed, had on socks or shoes, we slid. (There was absolutely nothing we could have done with it, until it wore off or semi-evaporated.)

Even when I think about it today (nearly 10 years later), I still laugh hysterically.

[ivylass]

Yes, I too, as a young college girl in her first apartment who ran out of dishwasher detergent decided to use regular dish detergent in the dishwasher.

Such lovely foam, all over the kitchen and living room.

[ouryL]

Man, oh man, you guys should have seen my boyfriend and his roomates moving out of their apartment this past spring. I mean, they'd never cleaned anything they didn't have to, even the really anal retentive one, but they want their deposit back, right? So evidently one of them is supposed to be cleaning the toilet, and comes in from the bathroom with a... felted ring of something, held on a stick at arm's length.

Pubesfelt.

Evidently, if you live in a house full of guys who never ever ever ever clean the toilet, pubic hair will just weave itself into a whole new textile under the toilet rim. Who knew?

:dubious: I think someone used to sit on the toilet and trim his not-so-short-n-hairies.

[Frank]

FatBaldGuy,,thanks for the welcome, I do plan on becoming a full member in the next couple of days now that I've decided I'll stick around.
I'm aware of the "proper" way of presenting a news item however due to the nature of the site I pulled that item from I decided to do it the way I did because the story was buried 3/4 of the way down the page on what looked more like someone's blog than a real news site. Heck it didn't even look like a proper blog, just a page of text that google must have sucked out of some archive.
Don't worry about it; this thread is all anectodal anyways.

Now if you meander into Great Debates...

[BiblioCat]

Yes, I too, as a young college girl in her first apartment who ran out of dishwasher detergent decided to use regular dish detergent in the dishwasher.

Such lovely foam, all over the kitchen and living room.I did that. I didn't actually come up with the idea, but I was the one who said it was all the same (hand-washing dish detergent and dishwasher detergent) and wouldn't make a difference. :smack:

We filled both cups and squirted a little extra in on the dishes for good measure.
Foam.... freaking EVERYWHERE.

[Harmonious Discord]

I most add this once again for the person that use the wrong soap. Use fabric softener to instantly kill the foam. Remember that for when somebody calls you.

[Adoptamom_II]

Pubesfelt.

bahahahahaha :p

[Shrinking Violet]

Or 'Gee, I bet some bleach will really get this cat box clean :D " :smack: I left when it started hissing.
Maybe you should have removed the cat first?

[hawksgirl]

I always have to have a buddy around when I clean, especially the bathroom. The thing is, I can't smell bleach* or any bleach-based cleanser and apparently tried to kill myself from fumes many a time, so I'm no longer allowed to clean the bathroom when no one else is home.


*a side effect of my job in the cat research colony where I had to bleach the entire room and everything in it (except the cats) 3x a week

[Zsofia]

:dubious: I think someone used to sit on the toilet and trim his not-so-short-n-hairies.
Dude, I still hang out with these guys, knowing about their pubesfelt!

[Velma]

I've busted my ass on one of those floors after a swifter was used on it. Do not enter a room in socks and try to make a sharp directional change. The worst thing in a retail store that people did to the floor, was spray furniture polish to check the scent. It was super slick until the patch was stripped and rewaxed. The old man spraying stripes on the floor to see the color of spray paints, made my day.
You should see our dog on those floors. She still has to work up the nerve every morning to leave our carpeted bedroom and go into the land of the slippery floors. I see her pause at the doorway each day and sigh. Man, she curses the day we put those floors in. Much amusement for us as she frantically scrabbles around though. It's partly her own fault, as a puppy she greatly sped up the need to replace the carpet!

Another thing that make floors slippery: try standing in a smooth-tiled bathroom and using spray on conditioner. The next person that comes in there wearing socks will end up on the floor. Funny if it's your husband, not so much when it's your 2 year old son. Oops. Now I remember to stand on the bath mat when using hair products.

[theater in a crowded fire]

The house I lived in during college had hardwood floors, the first time I had lived somewhere with them. After a while the stairs got really dirty and I decided to dust them. I used Pledge.

All was well as I dusted the bottom steps while standing on the floor, then I started to climb the stairs to dust the top ones and almost killed myself. Socks + Pledged stairs = slippery death. That build up is meant to stay on and protect your wood too, so it took a while before we could use the stairs without clinging to the banister for dear life. Surprised a few guests, too.

Along the same lines, my first vehicle was a 1978 GMC pickup truck with vinyl seats. Right after it was passed along to me I got the bright idea to spend the afternoon cleaning it up. I scrubbed inside and out and then went after it with the Armor-All. The seats were looking dull so I gave them a good coat along with the dash.
Sudden stops were quite an adventure until that gloss wore off. :smack:

[Savannah]

...got the bright idea to spend the afternoon cleaning it up. I scrubbed inside and out and then went after it with the Armor-All. I Armor-All'd the dashboard of my first car. Nearly blinded myself when the sun was anywhere but overhead. I could not see a damned thing against the glare off the shiny dashboard...

Man, oh man, you guys should have seen my boyfriend and his roomates moving out of their apartment this past spring. I mean, they'd never cleaned anything they didn't have to, even the really anal retentive one, but they want their deposit back, right? This is why one of the property managers really doesn't like renting to young, male university students. Oh, sure, they're nice boys, and their clothes are clean, but you just know... It's pubesfelt time.

There was an unlabelled bottle of clear, colorless fluid in the supply closet, and he wanted to find out if it was bleach or ammonia. He uncapped the bottle, stuck his nose over the opening and sniffed deeply.

Woke up an unknown length of time later... Heh. Weren't "smelling salts" ammonia? Weren't they supposed to keep you from falling down? :)

[Freudian Push Up Bra]

Heh. Weren't "smelling salts" ammonia? Weren't they supposed to keep you from falling down?

Smelling salts were usually a salt of ammonia - ammonium carbonate, not the pure stuff:


Ammonium carbonate is mixed with perfume to create a stimulant. The ammonia fumes from the salts irritate the membranes of the nose and lungs, which triggers a reflex causing the muscles that control breathing to work faster.


Link (http://ask.yahoo.com/20001206.html)

So the ammonia fumes would irritate his membranes and it'd be like a smack in the face.

My stupid cleaning stories are just the usual getting halfway through and giving up!

[Dung Beetle]

My grandma once told me a story about how she decided to get naked and scrub the bathroom with ammonia and bleach. She passed out and my grandfather had to retrieve her. I wasn't going to tell it, because I generally avoid thinking about that story, but this thread just keeps popping up, and there it is again...the thought of naked grandma. *shudder*

[Zsofia]

This is why one of the property managers really doesn't like renting to young, male university students. Oh, sure, they're nice boys, and their clothes are clean, but you just know... It's pubesfelt time.


Well, they did at least dispose of it. They could have put it up on the wall as a trophy. Or worn it as a hat.

[medstar]

Man, oh man, you guys should have seen my boyfriend and his roomates moving out of their apartment this past spring. I mean, they'd never cleaned anything they didn't have to, even the really anal retentive one, but they want their deposit back, right? So evidently one of them is supposed to be cleaning the toilet, and comes in from the bathroom with a... felted ring of something, held on a stick at arm's length.

Pubesfelt.

Evidently, if you live in a house full of guys who never ever ever ever clean the toilet, pubic hair will just weave itself into a whole new textile under the toilet rim. Who knew?


Zsofia, maybe they should have taken the easy way out and just replaced the toilet seat. That's what I do. :D

[Poysyn]

Yes, I too, as a young college girl in her first apartment who ran out of dishwasher detergent decided to use regular dish detergent in the dishwasher.

Such lovely foam, all over the kitchen and living room.


My sister did the same thing - but with laundry detergent. Such lovely white foamy bubbles, everywhere!

[Full Metal Lotus]

I was your typical guy, cleaning an apartment before I moved out....

I knew that the blackish residue in the bottom of the bathtub was anchored in lime depsosits.. so, I dumped in about 5 cups of CLR and went off to do some other cleaning while it took effect on the nasty stains.

And I forgot it was full strength.

Later on, I came back, and decided it was time to scrub the residue out of the tub. I plunged my bare hands into the liquid.

For about 10 seconds I scrubbed merrily away, until my nails started to hurn.

turns out CLR also disolves finger nails.

Luckily I had a container of water nearby (the toilet bowl), so I plunged my hands into the bowl. I had forgotten about the toilet bowl cleanser I had poured in there. A lesson in chemistry.

My nails did grow back, and were not completely eaten away, , but the skin on my hands, was badly burned by a two stage chemical reaction.

Lesson learned.

I will never clean my tub again!

Grin

FML

[Harmonious Discord]

This is sort of a cleaning story. The babysitter put Mr. Bubble in the wading pool for us kids. You should not be in contact with Mr. Buble, for hours in the sun, because you will break out in a raw rash that lasts for days after.

[35340]

I most add this once again for the person that use the wrong soap. Use fabric softener to instantly kill the foam. Remember that for when somebody calls you.

What about vinegar? That's what we use for fabric softening around here. Or salt? I seem to remember something about salt killing bubbles.

I'll have to whip some up (not in the dishwasher) and expediment.

Accidentally mixed bleach and ammonia here. Was gutting or cleaning a house with some friends. One person came through, sprayed the bathroom surfaces with ammonia-based supplies, I came through with bleach ...

luckily someone was right on my tail, recoginzed the dangerous smells and dragged me out of there before I did more than mediumly irritate the throat and lungs.

Now I stick to baking soda and vinegar and boiling water for most cleaning. From time to time I'll attack the mold that doesn't scrub off with a bleach pen.

[Jet Jaguar]

Did anybody else ever figure out why the Armor Oil bottle say's "don't use on vehicle control surfaces" the hard way ? I remember an incident from my youth where my nice clean, shiny brake pedal caused me do give a small love tap to the car in front of me.

While a clean, shiny motorcycle is nice, do not use Armor All on your bike's seat or tyres. Learned that one the hard way.

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

Here's (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=380400&) what happened when I decided to clean behind my oven. And the first response there also has a link to another fun story about a perhaps-toilet-brush.

Oh, and speaking of toilet brushes, there's this gem: Ye Gods, Man! What The Bloody Fuck Are You Doing? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=129501)