Time for Christmas rants?

[Rilchiam]

Okay, so FIL sends us a Christmas package. Very thoughtful of him, and he certainly didn't have to. Also sends us an email telling us to look out for it. Mr. Rilch responds to that email, and I send the thank-you when the package arrives.

Now FIL is aggravated with Mr. Rilch, and me, because FILWife (his second wife. And not Mr. Rilch's "stepmom" by any means; just his dad's wife.) is aggravated. Why, you ask? Because at no point in the letter did either of us specifically acknowledge that one of the items was personally from FILWife. It should have been obvious, he says. It's not something he would have chosen, so it had to have been from FILWife. And neither of us gave her a specific, personal thank-you for Item.

Mr. Rilch tries to placate him, and continues trying while FIL drags up all the other petty, bullshit things FILWIfe has chosen to make a scene over. Meanwhile, I'm scribbling on a notepad, "Tell him that if FILWIfe wants to be friends, perhaps she should stop digging in her heels over petty, bullshit things like [incident] and [other incident] and [other other incident]."

He didn't tell his dad that, actually, but that's his call. He doesn't tell me how to wrangle my mom either. What he did say after he hung up, though, was, "Yeah, and FILWife had such impeccable etiquette when she was porking a married guy!" (Yes, she was the Other Woman for years. Classically, MIL only knew about it in the final stages, when FIL was no longer covering his tracks, in passive-aggressive hope that she would catch on and boot him out. Which she did.)

So I feel bad that FIL feels bad, but believe me, FILWife chooses to create these situations. And YMMV, but it seems to me that in her position, she should be the one treading lightly with her husband's son, not expecting Mr. Rilch to kiss her ass. And Item was not something that only she could have chosen, believe me. It was a good-quality gift, much appreciated, but not unique. Anyway, how are we supposed to know what has her stamp on it and what doesn't? She has no personality that I'm aware of!

Sorry, not very ranty. But I'd like this to stay in the Pit, by the mods' grace, because I've no doubt that others will have more incendiary Christmas rants.

[shamrock227]

There's always room for Christmas rants! (or is that Jello?)

I still cannot comprehend how giving gifts can really bring out the worst in some people.

My Mother has a touch of that in her. If you take just a bit too long to oohhh and aahhhh over a gift (you have about a nanosecond after the tape is broken) or you don't do it with the enthusiasm she deemed you should have - there is hell to pay.

Sorry about the evil bitch creating problems. Don't let the interloping, home wrecking bitch get ya down.

[Jodi]

This is not a Christmas rant per se, but I have to post it because it comes up everytime my family gets together -- so always at Christmas.

"Where do you want to go to eat?"
"I don't care."
"How about Pretty Good Restaurant?"
"No, I don't want to go there."

GAH! If you don't want to go there, then you do care. Make a fricking suggestion! See, the way this works is, I say A. If you veto A, then you have to suggest B. And at no time do you say "I don't care" when you obviously do. Instead you want us to play a pointless guessing game:

"Where should we go eat?"
"I don't care."
"Restaurant A?"
"No, not there."
"Restaurant B?"
"No. Our meal wasn't very good last time."
"Restaurant C?"
"No, I don't feel like Italian [Mexican/Chinese/whatever]."

Etc., etc. This is beyond annoying! STOP IT!!

But it doesn't stop, and we can't make it stop. Why not? Surely you've guessed: The person in question is my mother. Mama acts like Mama acts, and we can't change her. So that leaves the options of (A) going postal and ruining Christmas with a big fight over a small thing, or (B) putting up with something that drives us batty, and posting about it on a message board.

[WhyNot]

But it doesn't stop, and we can't make it stop. Why not? Surely you've guessed: The person in question is my mother. Mama acts like Mama acts, and we can't change her. So that leaves the options of (A) going postal and ruining Christmas with a big fight over a small thing, or (B) putting up with something that drives us batty, and posting about it on a message board.
For years, my mother and I both played the "I don't care" game, which as you might expect, gets us nowhere very fast. I finally changed the rules last year: One of us suggests two or three places, and the other is obligated to choose one of them. Period. No more endless non-debates.

My Christmas rant is a weird one. I like Christmas Mass (the Catholic One.) I'm not Catholic, not even Christian, nor will I ever convert (unless they do away with that whole "only" by Jesus part, but I don't see that happening soon). But I like the Mass, so I go when I can. My husband mentioned to his mother (VERY Catholic) that I was going to Mass for Christmas and she and her husband were welcome to join me.

Apparently, the Pope Hisself is going to be in my living room to Confirm me, my pagan children and my wayward lost Catholic pagan husband. At least, that's what her reaction has been. She's over the moon ecstatic, and rubbing it in my sister-in-law's face and generally being a psycho about it. Which, of course, has my SIL a bit annoyed because she thinks I'm sucking up, and I'm not. In fact, which NO one seems to remember, I've gone with them to Catholic Christmas Mass near their house every year for the last 6, except the one year I went with my own mother to the UU service. THIS IS NOT NEWS, PEOPLE! I like churches of all types. But I ain't converting to no one! Shut up, shut up, shut up!

[ShelliBean]

So I feel bad that FIL feels bad, but believe me, FILWife chooses to create these situations.


Why in the hell should you fell bad for your FIL? He allows his wife to treat his son and son's family (IOW, you) this way and you feel bad for FIL? Screw him. Adult children don't need protection, but they do deserve some respect from their parent's SO, even if it's just a thin-lipped smile that erupts after you have left/gotten off the phone. You and your husband shouldnt' have to listen to it.
(Not ranting at you, just madder for you than you seem to be for yourself).

Also - what is the deal with gift giving? Can we all get together and sign an agreement?
I, <state your name>, do fully understand that I am not owed a gift from anyone. I further understand that should I receive a gift, it would be rude beyond compare to question the motive or price in the presence or within earshot of the gift giver or the gift giver's close friends or family. Should I receive something I think is tacky, ugly or cheap, I will smile politely, thank the giver and follow up with a quick thank you note should the situation warrant.
I also understand that in the event I choose to give gifts to others, I will do so with a giving spirit an not grudgingly. I will not tell the gift receiver how much I spent on the gift. I will not complain about the traffic I drove through to get to the store, nor the surly salespeople. I will not complain about the enthusiasm or lack thereof of the recipient. I will give with no strings attached and happiness in my heart.
In Santa's name we pray. Amen.

WhyNot - I also am a Christmas church goer. I just like the Episcopal mass and incense and ritual.

[ZipperJJ]

My boyfriend is broke. I know he's broke. He's been broke since I hooked up with him because he's going to school. He knows I know. He knows I don't care.

I don't expect a present from him. I expect him to spend whatever money he comes by this month to buy presents for his parents (who are helping him through school). We've talked about gifts for his parents. We haven't talked about gifts for me - because, again, I don't expect one.

He needs to STOP avoiding me and come over. I got a gift for him. Nothing exciting, just a practical gift that he could use. I know he's avoiding coming over because he's got no gift.

He needs to wake up and realize that not all people are materialistic bitches. He should know me better. But I can't call him on it lest he actually DOES have a gift for me...or lest I just seem plain rude.

Come get your gift!!

[Alma]

I have one, but it's on behalf of my friend. Her family decided yesterday that they were not going to exchange gifts this year. She had already shopped and was pretty pleased with the thoughtful gifts she had chosen, so now she's kind of hearbroken. She knew her family wasn't going to get anybody really special gifts, but to decide with less than a week before chrismas that they (her entire family except for one brother) weren't going to bother at all is very dispiritng. They could have thought about it at all and decided a month ago.

So she's upset because her family is even more callous and selfish than they've been in years past, and I feel bad for her. She said she will probably give her friends the gifts she had chosen for the family.

[Autumn Almanac]

There's this young guy at my work who just had a baby with his wife, their first. All he does is complain: the baby is loud, the baby keeps them up at night, etc. He never seems happy or excited about it. It just rubs me the wrong way, and makes me feel sorry for his wife, but whatever. Maybe she has the same attitude.

Now he just told me that he doesn't have any Christmas presents for his wife! Just hasn't bought her anything and doesn't really plan to. Now I really feel sorry for her.

If I didn't get my wife anything for Christmas, and didn't think it was that big a deal, especially when Christmas comes just a few weeks after she had a freaking baby, the things she would do to me would make me wish for the sweet release of death.

[Ponder Stibbons]

Time for Christmas rants? No! Fuck you. I hate how this time of year everyone starts whining about how goddamned stressed they are and everything isn't going abso-fucking-lutely perfect and oh-my-god some fucking relative who is always mean to me is coming and I gotta play nice ...

:D

[DeadlyAccurate]

Autumn Almanac, it's possible they both decided to not exchange gifts, maybe because they'd rather save the money with a new baby in the house. My husband and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts in many years, though it's because we just don't see any reason to.

[D_Odds]

He needs to wake up and realize that not all people are materialistic bitches. He should know me better. But I can't call him on it lest he actually DOES have a gift for me...or lest I just seem plain rude.You're discounting his feelings on receiving but being unable to give. If it were me, I'd feel very, very small.

[Autumn Almanac]

Autumn Almanac, it's possible they both decided to not exchange gifts, maybe because they'd rather save the money with a new baby in the house.
I haven't met his wife, so I don't know how she feels about it, but I hope you're right.

[Count Blucher]

Dear Dept Heads,

Thanks for the Christmas party. Yes, I know it was expensive. Yes I know it cost a lot of money. Yes, I'm suitably grateful...for food, of which I have plenty home...for drinks, where I have better home...for the chance for you to show me up in all your nice new designer clothes. Yes, I'm wearing what I normally wear to work. See, I spent all of my Christmas Bonus on clothes. (Yeah, I Know I don't get a Christmas Bonus but you do. That's the point, Dolt.)

If only I could have opted out and gotten the cash equivolent, even after taxes, to buy a nice(r) present for my wife and kids. But no, I got to plaster a phony smile on my face & watch you drink like a fish and shake your money-makers in the Partners faces while taking turns sitting on their laps. And not bother to show up to work today, you Fucking Lushes.

Yes, I am extremely greatful for the fact that you can abuse your position to throw yourselves a nice big drink fest, allow us Pions to attend if we're suitably quiet & suitably greatful so you can get away with putting it on company plastic. And we were so thrilled to hear which Mercedes you were picking out with your checks....a check we make possible by working umpteen hours for no overtime while you can say "I Don't Work Fridays". But none of that filters down to us, the people who make it possible. Not even a $50 gift card. But thanks for inviting us to your party.

Merry Fucking Christmas. :mad:

[corkboard]

<snip> So she's upset because her family is even more callous and selfish than they've been in years past, and I feel bad for her. She said she will probably give her friends the gifts she had chosen for the family.
She should give them all to charity, and let her family know that she had bought them all really nice gifts before learning that they had all decided not to exchange this year, so she donated all of them to the needy.

[WOOKINPANUB]

Alma, I'm a bit confused. Why can't your friend still give her family the gifts she purchased for them? What does their deciding not to give gifts have to do with anything? Do you mean that she only bought things for them because she was expecting gifts in return? Is this behavior what makes you consider them cold and callous?

[BiblioCat]

For years, my mother and I both played the "I don't care" game, which as you might expect, gets us nowhere very fast.My mother and I play another version of the "I Don't Care" game. I know she likes stuff from Bath & Body Works, specifically the hand soap and lotion. When I asked her what scents she likes (because some people can be very picky about scents - I know I am), she says, "I don't care. Just not raspberry."
Me: "Okay, how about vanilla?"
Mom: "I don't care. I guess vanilla's okay. Just no citrus scents. I don't really care."
Me: "Okay, no citrus and no raspberry, but vanilla. Anything else?"
Mom: "Oh, anything is fine. I don't care. I think there's a ginger something that I liked. I don't care, though."
Me: "Okay, vanilla and maybe a ginger. What else do you like?"
Mom: "Oh, I don't care. I don't think I'd like apple. I don't care though. Whatever you pick is fine."
:smack:

It's like pulling teeth to get a straight answer.

[hajario]

For years, my mother and I both played the "I don't care" game, which as you might expect, gets us nowhere very fast. I finally changed the rules last year: One of us suggests two or three places, and the other is obligated to choose one of them. Period. No more endless non-debates.

My ex-wife used to drive me crazy with that. We finally had to do a modified version of "Name Three Places" where she had to decide on three places, tell me to decide three places or make me decide on who had to decide. We'd also do "On the Table" where someone would name a place and then we had to either go there or the other person had to name a place. In both games, naming a place where it was known that the other person hated it was not allowed.

[ZipperJJ]

Alma, I'm a bit confused. Why can't your friend still give her family the gifts she purchased for them? What does their deciding not to give gifts have to do with anything? Do you mean that she only bought things for them because she was expecting gifts in return? Is this behavior what makes you consider them cold and callous?

I think it's because usually with family Christmas get-togethers there's a gift-opening session. Now there won't be one, so she has to go to each person and give them their gift and deal with the awkwardness of "I didn't get you anything/I didn't know we were doing gifts."

Also, many people - especially like the woman described, who buy thoughtful, personal gifts - do their shopping pretty early. At least earlier than Dec 1. So if the family didn't come up with this "no gifts" thing until a couple weeks before Christmas, anyone who shops earlier would be SOL while the lazy doofuses who wait until the last minute (I'm not talking about everyone who does this - I didn't buy my gifts till like Dec 10...you know who I'm talking about) get "off" from having to buy gifts, without regard to the people who were thoughful/organized enough to buy gifts early.

I can totally see Alma's friend's POV - she's not upset that she won't be receiving gifts, she's upset that now she's in the awkward position of what to do with the gifts she got.

[Hal Briston]

Yeah, I got one for ya.

Hey 3M -- you spent the last three or four Christmas seasons ramming your "oh my fucking god it's the best thing in the world" tape dispenser down my throat. You know, the little thing that you wear on your wrist that let's you grab a perfectly sized piece of tape with one hand? And you know what, it is really handy. So handy that I've used it each year, picking up a refill pack or two each season and using them up on wrapping presents.

So where the fuck are the refill packs this year? Huh?? 'Cause they sure as shit aren't in any of the stores around here. What, you think you can come out with a good product and then just decide "Oh, know what? We'd rather you go back to doing it the old, suck-ass, annoying way. Kindly go fuck yourselves".

Grrrrrrr....

[Queen Bruin]

An open letter to MiL & FiL, plus bonus snarky SiL rant:

No, I won't forward you a grand so you can buy Xmas presents for the grandkids. As far as I am concerned, their present is the roof over their pwecious wittle heads. Their parents don't pay you jack shit for rent, so THEY can buy presents. I have made cookies with the little brats (who are the poster children for post-natal abortion when around their mother, but sweet as hell with me), I have done my part. No, I won't be there Christmas morning, either. I don't want to hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth over "Well, The Sausage Creature and The Highwayman are SET for LIFE, they should help the rest of us out!" You want help? I've offered a million times to take your ass to college and get you set up. It ain't brain science. You show up to JC and get good grades, then you go to a big school and get good grades. God forbid you should stop smoking chronic all day and get off your fucking ass and DO SOMETHING.

By the way, sainted MiL (And she really is a swell lady, for the most part) did you not realize that the money you ask for from us has about a 80% of being a freakin' LOAN (and 20% of being my hard-earned scholarship money)? Are you from Mars, do you think your son pays for private law school out of some mystery college fund that doesn't exist, and that he's got plenty of cash cause hey, he's gonna be a LAWYER, woohoo big money, pass it around moneybags! And who cares that the student loan repayment will be the size of a mortgage, Christmas is NOW!? GAH!

Hallelujah, Holy Shit, pass the tylenol!

[Ass Gasket]

I hate gift cards. I hate office parties. Can I just go home and be with my family now, please?

[DanBlather]

My Mother has a touch of that in her. If you take just a bit too long to oohhh and aahhhh over a gift (you have about a nanosecond after the tape is broken) or you don't do it with the enthusiasm she deemed you should have - there is hell to pay.My mother is like that. She'll give me something nice like a woodworking plane and then a bunch of crap she picked up at the church rummage sale (often used). I'll gush over the nice gift and then she acts all hurt "Didn't you like the 1965 travel guide to Guatemala? I know you like Mexico".

[Susie Derkins]

Yeah, I got one for ya.

Hey 3M -- you spent the last three or four Christmas seasons ramming your "oh my fucking god it's the best thing in the world" tape dispenser down my throat. You know, the little thing that you wear on your wrist that let's you grab a perfectly sized piece of tape with one hand? And you know what, it is really handy. So handy that I've used it each year, picking up a refill pack or two each season and using them up on wrapping presents.

So where the fuck are the refill packs this year? Huh?? 'Cause they sure as shit aren't in any of the stores around here. What, you think you can come out with a good product and then just decide "Oh, know what? We'd rather you go back to doing it the old, suck-ass, annoying way. Kindly go fuck yourselves".

Grrrrrrr....

Do you have a Dollar Tree store nearby? They have bunches of the 3-pack refills for $1/pack here in Tallahassee. I know it won't help this year, but if you want to email me your address I'd be happy to send you a few.

[shamrock227]

Time for Christmas rants? No! Fuck you. I hate how this time of year everyone starts whining about how goddamned stressed they are and everything isn't going abso-fucking-lutely perfect and oh-my-god some fucking relative who is always mean to me is coming and I gotta play nice ...

:D

Come here, Ponder.


No. Closer.



A little bit closer.




::SLAP::

[Rilchiam]

Why in the hell should you fell bad for your FIL? He allows his wife to treat his son and son's family (IOW, you) this way and you feel bad for FIL? Screw him. Adult children don't need protection, but they do deserve some respect from their parent's SO, even if it's just a thin-lipped smile that erupts after you have left/gotten off the phone. You and your husband shouldnt' have to listen to it.
(Not ranting at you, just madder for you than you seem to be for yourself).



Okay, I see what you mean. :)

[Autumn Almanac]

Are you from Mars, do you think your son pays for private law school out of some mystery college fund that doesn't exist, and that he's got plenty of cash cause hey, he's gonna be a LAWYER, woohoo big money, pass it around moneybags!
Classic. :p Thanks.

[Hal Briston]

Do you have a Dollar Tree store nearby? They have bunches of the 3-pack refills for $1/pack here in Tallahassee. I know it won't help this year, but if you want to email me your address I'd be happy to send you a few.Score! I picked up a dozen 3-packs last night from Dollar Tree. That'll cover me for the next few seasons. Thanks much, Susie!

[chowder]

Time for Christmas rants? No! Fuck you. I hate how this time of year everyone starts whining about how goddamned stressed they are and everything isn't going abso-fucking-lutely perfect and oh-my-god some fucking relative who is always mean to me is coming and I gotta play nice ...

:D
So how you doing :D

'nuther thing, "Oh come all ye faithful"

All well and good but what about the adulterous buggers.







Merry Christmas anyway

[WhyNot]

'nuther thing, "Oh come all ye faithful"

A song I've long felt more appropriate to Beltane. :D

[Velma]

Yes, I did volunteer to direct the Christmas Program this year. Please make sure that when your kids beg for a role (and we made sure all children who wanted roles got them) that they are actually going to be there for the performance! Don't send your kid to rehearsal and weeks later have them say to me, "by the way, I won't be here for the performance." Ok, I lost Joseph, a prophet reader and a Shepherd that way. Come on! Also, a little help for your kids learning their reading roles would be appreciated. No one has to memorize or learn shakespeare, just a few lines. At this point if they could just remember to bring their script, that would be great. Right now I am handing out 12 new scripts at each rehearsal for those who lost theirs. Some kids lost theirsagain during rehearsal. Sigh.

Also, to the stage mom - this is a small Christmas pageant, not your kid's breakthrough role of a lifetime. He is in 5th grade, I think you can leave him alone for 45 minutes and drop him off for the rehearsal like every other parent. You don't need to stay and give helpful suggestions the whole time, really. Yes, I am aware your child is allergic to wool, peanuts, eggs and dairy. Yes, I am aware he has already memorized his one line, isn't he a little genius? Yes, his microphone is fine. Yes, he knows where to stand. ARGH.

Bless the children.

[Autumn Almanac]

Now he just told me that he doesn't have any Christmas presents for his wife! Just hasn't bought her anything and doesn't really plan to. Now I really feel sorry for her.
Update: My coworker just informed me that he went shopping with his wife last night, and bought her a few gifts. :)

Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night.

[Miller]

You want help? I've offered a million times to take your ass to college and get you set up. It ain't brain science.

Unless you study neurology.

[5que]

Christmas day I will turn 51.

I am still pissed off about all the "Christmas plus your birthday present in one" gifts I have received oh these many years. Christmas present + Birthday present > Christmas and Birthday present. So screw all of y'all for psychologically damaging me and causing me to hate the holidays with the heat of a thousand suns. But I still want a birthday cake, with lots of frosting.

[Velma]

My dad was born on Christmas, we always do a cake for him. I usually buy him a seperate gift, but I confess to doing the "combination" gift a time or two. In my defense, it is always a much bigger gift than what others get just for Christmas though, like a digital camera vs. a tie. So hopefully that's ok.

He never got Birthday presents growing up anyway, being the 7th child of a not-well-off family, so he seems content with whatever we get him. Half the time he says not to get him anything, and I believe he is sincere. He just likes having all "his girls" at home. But we always get him something anyway.

[Khadaji]

Christmas day I will turn 51.

I am still pissed off about all the "Christmas plus your birthday present in one" gifts I have received oh these many years. Christmas present + Birthday present > Christmas and Birthday present. So screw all of y'all for psychologically damaging me and causing me to hate the holidays with the heat of a thousand suns. But I still want a birthday cake, with lots of frosting.
I used to date a woman whose daughter was born on Christmas day and she did a half-year celebration. I always thought that was neat.

Anyway, although it is a tad early: Wishing you a good day, a good year and a great life.

[5que]

I used to date a woman whose daughter was born on Christmas day and she did a half-year celebration. I always thought that was neat.
Anyway, although it is a tad early: Wishing you a good day, a good year and a great life.
Well, thank you. To come off my crazy-old-guy podium for a while, I did have an aunt with a birthday on July 5th. So every year she and I went out and celebrated both our birthdays. She was the crazy elder aunt of the family, so it was always a lot of fun. Now I'll get angry and bitter again. Carrot cake would be good. Lots of cream cheese frosting, please.

[Incubus]

My company apparently sent out a memo to all managers that went something like this:

"We have decided not to close the week after Christmas like we have for the past ten years. Any employee unable to work that week must supply a substitute or they are fired :eek: "

Quite a wonderful xmas gift- many of my coworkers, including myself, had planned a vacation that week (because we thought we'd have it OFF) then had to scramble to find replacements. Of course, few people are willing to cover for us because (surprise surprise!) they want to spend Christmas break with their families.

Fortunately I got the week covered, but I don't know if some of my other coworkers were so lucky.

[Susie Derkins]

Score! I picked up a dozen 3-packs last night from Dollar Tree. That'll cover me for the next few seasons. Thanks much, Susie!

Susie Derkins and Dollar Tree, turning Christmas frowns upside down since 2006...

So glad you found them!

[Rebecca DiMwitter]

Dear Stoopid Fuck-Fuck-Fuckity-Fuckers who stand there at the front of the queue, as I check your items out, yapping mindlessly to some other also-moron on your cell phone which I'd love to see rammed completely up your ass preferably by ME:

Cut that shit out already! Not only have you given me no reason to greet you, but then I cannot even ask if you've found everything you needed (which you probably haven't as you have blathered on your cell phone for every second you've been in the place), and whether you want the receipt in your package or in your purse/wallet, in which case I hope to do the wrong thing and you lose it and cannot ever record it in your checkbook and end up paying exorbitant overdraft fees. Oh, and thanks TWO fucking million for hanging up just in time to tell me (not ask me) to now wrap your items which I have already bagged carefully for you. Thanks for holding up your fellow shoppers and my line in particular with your utter disdain for anyone else in the universe besides your insufferable self and the other waste of perfectly good oxygen you were talking to on your cell.

And thanks so much for allowing me to serve your inconsiderate ass, it makes MY holiday so much merrier!

I WAS going to gripe about my office Christmas drunken-bash and the fact that as a 3-year employee and STILL the "newbie", which I will never overcome, I always get the leanest Christmas bonus of anyone ($200 for me, $1500 for the next "newest" employee) and the least consideration when it comes to time off (none for me, all of next week for everyone else). But then I read Count Blucher's account, and Incubus's tale, and I don't feel so bad. I will say that I ALONE had to clean up after our office bash, as the "newbie"; 5 loads of luncheon serving bowls, silverware and drink glasses, and 6 crockpot inserts later, I finally got it accomplished Next "newest" employee is a Jehovah's Witness and cannot be caught in the act of helping at a forbidden Christmas function as they do not celebrate---altho she stuffed her face most righteously during the luncheon, but did not "mingle" with the guests as I was expected to, and did.

But if I didn't want dishpan hands and fits of unresolved anger at ignorant cell phone users, I shouldn't have elected to work for a small-town, all-local, good-ol-boys company as well as pull a part-time gig in retail this season, right?

Fuck-Fuckity-Fuck to Christmas anyway!

--Beck

[Ghanima]

Fuck toy stores. Fuck them with a white-hot poker.

My niece is 5. Everything she owns is goddamn pink with fucking ribbons and iridescent sparkles and lavender trim and hearts and flowers and says "princess" on it. You know what? She not a fucking princess. She's a human being. It would be nice if I could find her a toy that is not completely stereotyped. But no, I have to choose between DINO-DESTRUCTOR toys and "fairy princess barbie rip-off (now with enlarged breasts!)"

I cannot wait until she can read a proper book.

[BiblioCat]

My niece is 5. Everything she owns is goddamn pink with fucking ribbons and iridescent sparkles and lavender trim and hearts and flowers and says "princess" on it. ...

I cannot wait until she can read a proper book.
You could help her along that road to reading by getting her a pair of teeny pink sweatpants that say "Princess" across the butt in lavender sparkles.

::: ducks and runs ::: ;)

[sneezy5660]

My boyfriend is broke. I know he's broke. He's been broke since I hooked up with him because he's going to school. He knows I know. He knows I don't care.

I don't expect a present from him. I expect him to spend whatever money he comes by this month to buy presents for his parents (who are helping him through school). We've talked about gifts for his parents. We haven't talked about gifts for me - because, again, I don't expect one.


He needs to STOP avoiding me and come over. I got a gift for him. Nothing exciting, just a practical gift that he could use. I know he's avoiding coming over because he's got no gift.

He needs to wake up and realize that not all people are materialistic bitches. He should know me better. But I can't call him on it lest he actually DOES have a gift for me...or lest I just seem plain rude.

Come get your gift!!


Tell him that he is your present, and to come to your place so you can unwrap him! :D

[Tamryne]

To all the spoiled Galleria shoppers: it's the fucking SPCA. Yes, the non-for profit group. Everyone there except for the two staff members are volunteers, bravely fighting the Galleria traffic to proudly bring you cats, dogs, and rabbits to adopt. Will you stop fucking THROWING PENS AT US?! If that is too difficult for you, how about NOT FIGHTING OVER THE DOGS. We DO have the right to refuse to adopt out to you, and when you are acting like a 3 year old brat, waving around your crappy knock off Louis Vuitton purse and yelling, that dog is NOT going home with you.

On an aside: Thank you to all the people who came out and adopted animals, when I came in for my shift at 3:30 all the dogs were adopted out, and we only had two cats left and a bunny or two. You really help make this effort a success, and make the animals lives so much happier!

[Count Blucher]

Beck, nobody should have to wash all the Xmas party dishes, just because they were the last hired. They're just taking advantage...and you need to put them on notice. Sure, it won't come up for another year, but time will pass. Make sure that next year they know that your three years of endentured servitude have ended.

PS- one of the reasons I like posting on this board is that the women here all have Class, Intelligence, and Self-Respect . May that never change! :D

[Doctor Jackson]

"fairy princess barbie rip-off (now with enlarged breasts!)"

Dear Santa,

I hope it is not too late to ammend my list, but the most amazing thing has just come to my attention...

Sincerely,
A Very, Very Good Dr. Jackson

[Annie-Xmas]

It has long been our office policy that people are paid by 1:00 on Friday. I do the checks in the morning, people come in to sign them, then our VP comes in at noon and gets everyone's money.

People have been bugging me all week about being paid by 1:00 or maybe earlier today. The VP told me he would be here by 11:00 to get the checks.

I came in early and did the checks early. I had them ready at 10:30 for the VP.

Who strolled in at 1:30, told me to go to lunch, then was waiting outside for me when I got back and put the envelopes with the cash in them in my hand outside so he wouldn't have to face the irrate people waiting for their money.

So I had to hear all the complaints!

[Cartooniverse]

Time to go to the Inlaws house, where I am treated like the Houseboy and Dishwasher, Errand Bitch and all-around Slave. Where, within 10 minutes of walking into their house for the first time 22 years ago I was informed how great it was to have me around because I was tall and I can reach things that they cannot.

Where, since I don't measure up, it's much better to be seen than endured....er....heard from.

I fucking hate the draining endless hours until I can go to sleep every night. it's pretty fucking sad when the best part of the trip every year is going for an icy cold walk through the neighborhood every day. Just to get out. Of. Their. House.

In no particular order, while doing their motherfucking household maintenance and chores, I have been:

1. Shocked with 220 Volts ( that was worth a trip to the hospital for tachycardia

2. Covered in OLD feces and mess when a sewer line cracked in the basement.

3. Injured in the spine and ribs while falling off of their icy uncleaned side steps. ( which I was asked to go and salt and shovel, because after all, they're very slippery and unsafe. :rolleyes:

4. Torn up my hands chopping wood for them.

Gee. Can't wait. :( I'm not worth their time, I know it, they let me know it, I don't measure up in any way to the standards of the family and they've always been quite mystified as to why their daughter married me.

Cartooniverse

[BiblioCat]

Gee. Can't wait. :( I'm not worth their time, I know it, they let me know it, I don't measure up in any way to the standards of the family and they've always been quite mystified as to why their daughter married me.

CartooniverseDamn. Did we marry into the same family?

[GingerOfTheNorth]

A song I've long felt more appropriate to Beltane. :D
A favourite around our house is "It's beginning to look a lot like Mithras..." My MIL would keel over if she heard us singing that.

And that would mean I wouldn't have to spend another fucking Christmas day at her house. I really like my in-laws, I do. They're very nice people, despite being near-to-fundie. I just have NOTHING in common with them; neither does my husband who was raised by them. My SIL has two little kids, and everything revolves around them. To hell with whatever my husband and I have planned. To hell with whatever Christmas traditions I may have had all of my fucking life before moving here. Go insane with the gift giving and make me feel uncomfortable because I don't feel we should have to toss away a ton of money during my husband's business' lean times and don't lavish the gifts on everyone.

We'll just go to their house when it's convenient for my SIL and I'll eat the dry turkey and mashed potatoes from a box (if there are any at all) and food that is not at all traditional to anything I've ever had. I'm so goddamned tired of it. I don't even want to go, but it would crush them.

I wanna go home. Next year, maybe.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Fuck toy stores. Fuck them with a white-hot poker.

My niece is 5. Everything she owns is goddamn pink with fucking ribbons and iridescent sparkles and lavender trim and hearts and flowers and says "princess" on it. You know what? She not a fucking princess. She's a human being. It would be nice if I could find her a toy that is not completely stereotyped. But no, I have to choose between DINO-DESTRUCTOR toys and "fairy princess barbie rip-off (now with enlarged breasts!)"

I cannot wait until she can read a proper book. I started reading to my daughter when she was about six months old. Does your niece have anyone to read to her? But yeah, I was a tomboy when I was a girl, and I always hated the girly-girl toys and stuff. I had a lot of fun with Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys and Legos.

[matt_mcl]

I used to date a woman whose daughter was born on Christmas day and she did a half-year celebration. I always thought that was neat.


"Those of us with birthdays in December know what the Three Wise Men said to Jesus: 'Now, this is both for your birthday and Christmas.'"
- Bob Smith

[Mama Tiger]

It sounds, Cartoonverse and Ginger, like it's time to make your own plans for home, and then at the last minute get "sick." Even if you have to stick your finger down your throat and barf while on the phone to them whilst making your apologies.

And if you have to, stay home alone. It still sounds better than the "fun" you're expected to go through!

[GingerOfTheNorth]

My husband has said he'd rather stay home with me if it'll make me happy, but I really just don't feel like I can disappoint the in-laws and deprive them of watching the kids open their gifts. I do think, though, that we need to revisit the Christmas tradition around here, since I'm not even really Christian. I do like the cultural aspects of it, though.

[Carol the Impaler]

I hate how my dad treats Christmas like it's the fucking lottery.

As the years go by (I typo'd that just now as "buy", but actually, how Freudian... ) his "reqeusts" for gifts get more and more lavish. Apparently, since he has six kids and two (count 'em TWO) are doing particularly well, he'll tell his Only True Daughter that he wants any number of expensive things. Which we all then are expected to contribute equal amounts for.

Fuckin' ass. You abuse and malign EVERYONE, you can't manage your money, you whine about how much your medications cost (but damn if you don't have satellite television and a Buick you won't drive but won't get rid of), you emotionally abuse your wife (who has Alzheimers!), and then you expect me to shell out money to buy you a new love seat?

Fuck you. And fuck you double for the bad feelings you are now going to cause between me and your One True Daughter (who seems to love you for some unfathomable reason) because I won't contribute, making it cost more for those who do.

Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU.

[Clothahump]

Well, I've already bitched about the gaddam Christmas music once already, so I'll not repeat it.

But let me tell, being laid off your job on 12/22 just sucks beyond belief. SWMBO's been out of work since Halloween. Christmas is going to bite this year...

Well, it does every year. Just different reasons this year.

[Elza B]

I woke up feeling like shit this morning and went to the local Stat Care. Turns out I have bronchitis. So my husband has spent all day taking care of the baby while I try not to hock up a lung - and the Christmas shopping I'd planned to finish tonight isn't getting finished, so I'm short several gifts for ElzaHub. Merry freakin' Christmas.

E.