Epic Movie

[Little Nemo]

I went to see Epic Movie today. My nieces wanted to see it and I thought it sounded like a good movie.

I was wrong.

It's a bad movie.

A really really really really really bad movie.

It is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

[aclubs]

Over at rottentomatoes.com...

*click click*

It has a grand rating of 3%!

I agree. Even having not seen it, I can tell you to not go see it.

[Caridwen]

I feel a little better. The bad movie I saw, Smokin' Aces got a whole 27%.

[Bryan Ekers]

I saw Epic Movie and Smokin' Aces back-to-back.

EM is apparantly written for black teenagers and the white teenagers who think black teenagers are cool. It's less a parody of big-budget movies than a parody of the trailers of big-budget movies, using a handul of overplayed images. There are a few random chuckles here and there, but anyone expecting a modern Airplane! or even a new Scary Movie will be greatly disappointed.

Aces is Shakespearean by comparison, but although it had a massive amount of potential as a violent ensemble comedy, efforts to make it a dialogue-driven gun-crazy successor to Pulp Fiction fall flat.

[Little Nemo]

I don't see the black teenagers angle - there didn't seem to be any race based humor. Of course, there didn't seem to any humor of any kind.

[randwill]

Question for the original poster; why did you go see "Epic Movie"? It got poor reviews across the board. Do you not pay attention to people whose job it is to write about film? If not, did not every instinct you have tell you this was going to be a bad movie?

I don't know the ages of your nieces, but you might want to consider using your influence to guide them towards better entertainment decisions in the future. If your nieces actually enjoyed the movie, this goes double. Though it may already be too late.

[Caridwen]

:rolleyes:

In the future Little Nemo please consult your Rotten Tomatoes Bible or better yet ask randwill what you should see. What about the children?

[pizzabrat]

I saw Epic Movie and Smokin' Aces back-to-back.

EM is apparantly written for black teenagers and the white teenagers who think black teenagers are cool. It's less a parody of big-budget movies than a parody of the trailers of big-budget movies, using a handul of overplayed images. There are a few random chuckles here and there, but anyone expecting a modern Airplane! or even a new Scary Movie will be greatly disappointed.


So...no explanation for this baffling invective against black teens and their fans? Your paragraph had nothing to do with your topic sentence.

[BMalion]

... What about the children?

The black children?

[DanBlather]

The black children?The mainstream, thin, articulate, clean black children.

[Operation Ripper]

The mainstream, thin, articulate, clean black children.

hehehe

[Beadalin]

The Onion's A.V. Club gave it an F. That's the first F I've seen out of them in a long time.

[Revtim]

I don't think I've ever seen commercials for a movie that make it look less funny. That includes the ads for 'Schindler's List' and 'Saving Private Ryan'.

[Wee Bairn]

In defense of the OP, if you have small kids in your charge, and you let them pick the movie, you will see tons of shit. It is a lot easier to stare at the theatre ceiling for 90 minutes than to try and talk a child out of seeing Alone in the Dark, Ecks Vs. Sever, Bloodrayne, Etc.

I am also curious as to what about Epic Movie is Afro-centric?

But no matter how big a pile of a dung Epic Movie is, its going to make money for whoever put it out (but at what price), :) just like Date Movie did.

[Autolycus]

So even the part with the Borat cameo wasn't funny? 'Tis truly a dark day.....

[D_Odds]

In defense of the OP, if you have small kids in your charge, and you let them pick the movie, you will see tons of shit. It is a lot easier to stare at the theatre ceiling for 90 minutes than to try and talk a child out of seeing Alone in the Dark, Ecks Vs. Sever, Bloodrayne, Etc.
Hell yeah. I can proudly claim to have paid to sit through a screening of every Power Rangers and Pokemon movie.

And survived.

Fear me.

[MaxTheVool]

Hell yeah. I can proudly claim to have paid to sit through a screening of every Power Rangers and Pokemon movie.

And survived.

Fear me.

Yes, but have you seen Thomas and the Magic Railroad?

(That's the worst movie I've ever seen, and (referring to a recent thread) the only one of the IMDB bottom 100 I've seen.)

[Wee Bairn]

Thomas is worse than Baby Geniuses? I haven't seen either.

[Rysdad]

I don't think I've ever seen commercials for a movie that make it look less funny. That includes the ads for 'Schindler's List' and 'Saving Private Ryan'.

Now that's funny.

[Bryan Ekers]

So...no explanation for this baffling invective against black teens and their fans? Your paragraph had nothing to do with your topic sentence.

I'm sorry, did we see the same movie? The one I saw had scenes based on jokes about "junk in the trunk" and malt liquor and a lot of other stuff my short-term memory has mercifully elected not to shift to long-term storage. Given an opportunity to make fun of clichés in big-budget films, Epic Movie fell back on clichés (or if you prefer, stereotypes) about black culture.

I retract nothing. If you want to call it invective, be my guest.

[pizzabrat]

I'm sorry, did we see the same movie? The one I saw had scenes based on jokes about "junk in the trunk" and malt liquor and a lot of other stuff my short-term memory has mercifully elected not to shift to long-term storage. Given an opportunity to make fun of clichés in big-budget films, Epic Movie fell back on clichés (or if you prefer, stereotypes) about black culture.

I retract nothing. If you want to call it invective, be my guest.

Who said anything about a retraction? I just wanted to know what on Earth you were talking about since the validity of your strong, potentially inflammatory statement wasn't evident from trailers or the premise, none of the reviews I've read had mentioned this angle, nobody else in the thread could figure out what you were talking about, and you made no attempt to explain it yourself. It was as if you said:

"It kind of made me want to convert to Hinduism. All of the "spoofs" seemed to be based on just the trailers. I laughed once or twice, but it wasn't really that funny."

And the invective came from the fact that the only explanation you seemed to offer for your theory that it was written for black teens and the people who love them is that it was stupid and unfunny.

[cmkeller]

RottenTomatoes for this movie has some of the funniest review tag lines I've ever seen.

However, I wouldn't put so much stock in the "experts". Some of my favorite movies have been panned by critics (Rat Race and Little Nicky, for example), and some which I've hated, they've loved (Lost in Translation in a major way).

[Wee Bairn]

The Onion review has a great line regarding Crispin Glover's appearance in the film:

'Glover at least has an excuse for prostituting his idiosyncratic gifts for a fat studio paycheck; those self-distributed experimental films about conjoined midget twins with Down's Syndrome aren't going to fund themselves'

:p :p :p

[Gangster Octopus]

What's sad is that, IMO, satirizing epic movies I think, could be a good movie if done right.

[randwill]

RottenTomatoes for this movie has some of the funniest review tag lines I've ever seen.

However, I wouldn't put so much stock in the "experts". Some of my favorite movies have been panned by critics (Rat Race and Little Nicky, for example), and some which I've hated, they've loved (Lost in Translation in a major way).

On the other hand some of MY favorite movies are highly praised by film critics, including "Lost in Translation", one of the best films in recent years and a multiple award nominee and winner.

So one could choose to watch films which are highly praised by people whose job it is to write about cinema and films that have been honored with film awards, or one can watch widely panned and scorned movies like "Little Nicky", "Rat Race" and "Epic Movie".

Choose wisely, Grasshopper.

[Bryan Ekers]

Who said anything about a retraction? I just wanted to know what on Earth you were talking about since the validity of your strong, potentially inflammatory statement wasn't evident from trailers or the premise, none of the reviews I've read had mentioned this angle, nobody else in the thread could figure out what you were talking about, and you made no attempt to explain it yourself. It was as if you said:

"It kind of made me want to convert to Hinduism. All of the "spoofs" seemed to be based on just the trailers. I laughed once or twice, but it wasn't really that funny."

And the invective came from the fact that the only explanation you seemed to offer for your theory that it was written for black teens and the people who love them is that it was stupid and unfunny.
Well, now it's my turn to be baffled.

[Rodgers01]

What's sad is that, IMO, satirizing epic movies I think, could be a good movie if done right.
I agree, though I'm confused by this movie's definition of "epic." When I think of epic movies I think of "Dr. Zhivago" and "Ben Hur" and "Lawrence of Arabia" and maybe things like "2001: A Space Odyssey" and "Titanic." Why is a movie that lampoons "Borat," "Willy Wonka," and "Snakes on a Plane" called "Epic Movie"??

[Little Nemo]

Why is a movie that lampoons "Borat," "Willy Wonka," and "Snakes on a Plane" called "Epic Movie"??
Because the same non-creative and unfunny team that wrote the script thought up the title?
So even the part with the Borat cameo wasn't funny? 'Tis truly a dark day.....
Here's the Borat joke - they had a guy that looked like Borat. That's it, he didn't say anything funny or parody the film in any way. He just appeared on screen and looked like Borat.

This was the same "joke" they used throughout the movie - the "parody" of Snakes on a Plane was having a guy that acted like Samuel L Jackson; the "parody" of Pirates of the Caribbean was having a guy that acted like Jack Swallow.

Here's another running "joke". One of the lead characters repeated everything another character said. That's it - they did it once, then again, and again and again and again. There wasn't any developement or punchline - they just kept doing the same thing.

And now I'll spoil the movie for you by telling you the funniest joke in the movie. In one sequence, for no apparent reason, the lead characters go to Hogwarts. And the actors playing Harry Potter and Hermoine and Ron are all middle-aged. And one of the main characters says, "aren't you guys a little old to be here?"

That's it - that was the wittiest line in the movie.