The Greatest Thread Ever.

[4JawChuck]

I need your help, as I want to make this The Greatest Thread Ever. Understand, if YOU help make it happen, YOU will forever be a part of The Greatest Thread Ever.

I believe The Greatest Thread Ever will make you laugh, cry, think, love, hate.
It will do so many other things. It will be powerful. It will have humility.


I thank you all in advance.

CRINZ

[SlickRoenick]

I thank you all in advance.
No no, thank you for making this happen.

[Sampiro]

How's it working so far?

[Long Time Lurker]

Now that I have I posted, it is done. Mods, feel free to close this thread.

[garygnu]

Will there be free pickles for participants?

[threnodyangelfire]

Will there be free pickles for participants?

I don't understand the pickles sold in movie theatres that I saw in the US. Pickles are not movie food to me! Popcorn is! Ice cream is!But not pickles.

[nongoog]

Isn't it a paradox to declare yourself the best "ever"? Isn't "ever" a condition only accurately decided in retrospect?

[4JawChuck]

So far, it is not going well. I believe I have bitten off more than I can chew.
By the way, If there were pickles, I'd hope they'd be Klaussens. But I don't think there will be any pickles at all. Gosh, I'm actually crying in shame.

[Alice The Goon]

Yes, change the title to The Greatest Thread So Far.

[Hung Mung]

Can we get this moved to the Pit? It needs some curse words and at least one slam from the Ban Hammer.

[5 time champ]

Where's Cecil?

[Triskadecamus]

You got a problem with pickles?

Is that some Australian thing?

Hey, at my local theater you can get baba ganoush.

With a pickle!

Tris

[4JawChuck]

Yes, change the title to The Greatest Thread So Far.
But 'The Greatest Thread Ever' would need that very title. If there are greater threads, then this is not The Greatest Thread Ever. It is merely a Pretender to the Throne.
It may indeed be The Greatest Thread So Far, and many others will be greater.
But I'm raising this child with extremely high expectations.

[Alice The Goon]

You know, Carl Jr.'s Six-Dollar Burger comes with those bread and butter (or sweet?) pickles, instead of dill. I find it refreshing and delightful, and always order extra pickles.

[4JawChuck]

Can we get this moved to the Pit? It needs some curse words and at least one slam from the Ban Hammer.

Great idea. The Greatest Thread Ever will be beautiful, but it must have its darknesses, also.

[Kat]

I think the thread would be better if you gave out free drinks instead of pickles.

[Triskadecamus]

You know, Carl Jr.'s Six-Dollar Burger comes with those bread and butter (or sweet?) pickles, instead of dill. I find it refreshing and delightful, and always order extra pickles.Can you ride one of those electric bulls?

Tris

[4JawChuck]

You know, Carl Jr.'s Six-Dollar Burger comes with those bread and butter (or sweet?) pickles, instead of dill. I find it refreshing and delightful, and always order extra pickles.
It's official. The Greatest Thread Ever will forever be AKA The Pickle Thread.
How you folks knew that I'm CRAZY for great pickles, I'll never know. And I'm not kidding.

[Spoons]

I'm glad--nay, proud--to say that I've posted in the Greatest Thread Ever. To paraphrase the Bard:

But we in it shall be remembered
We few, we happy few, we band of Dopers
For the Doper today that posts along with me
Shall be my brother or sister, be they ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle their condition.
And Dopers who are now a-lurking
Shall think themselves accursed they did not post
And hold their status cheap whilst any speaks
Who posted with us in the Greatest Thread Ever.

Adapted from Shakespeare's King Henry the Fifth, IV iii 59-67.

[Little Nemo]

No, this is not The Greatest Thread Ever. This a thread about The Greatest Thread Ever. The actual Greatest Thread Ever would have an open bar and buffet; five seperate soundstages; helicopters; celebrity guest appearances; a private screening room; monkeys; car chases; gratuitous sex scenes; pool and sauna privileges; explosions; an ocean view; cheerleaders; genuine leather upholstery; and fire trucks.

[4JawChuck]

I'm glad--nay, proud--to say that I've posted in the Greatest Thread Ever. To paraphrase the Bard:

But we in it shall be remembered
We few, we happy few, we band of Dopers
For the Doper today that posts along with me
Shall be my brother or sister, be they ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle their condition.
And Dopers who are now a-lurking
Shall think themselves accursed they did not post
And hold their status cheap whilst any speaks
Who posted with us in the Greatest Thread Ever.

Adapted from Shakespeare's King Henry the Fifth, IV iii 59-67.
It is exciting to take a grain of sand, and make a pearl.
You will be one of the Early Ones. You will most likely make it on the T-Shirt Iron-On.

[garygnu]

No, this is not The Greatest Thread Ever. This a thread about The Greatest Thread Ever. The actual Greatest Thread Ever would have an open bar and buffet; five seperate soundstages; helicopters; celebrity guest appearances; a private screening room; monkeys; car chases; gratuitous sex scenes; pool and sauna privileges; explosions; an ocean view; cheerleaders; genuine leather upholstery; and fire trucks.
...and free pickles.

[4JawChuck]

No, this is not The Greatest Thread Ever. This a thread about The Greatest Thread Ever. The actual Greatest Thread Ever would have an open bar and buffet; five seperate soundstages; helicopters; celebrity guest appearances; a private screening room; monkeys; car chases; gratuitous sex scenes; pool and sauna privileges; explosions; an ocean view; cheerleaders; genuine leather upholstery; and fire trucks.
You do realize that as an early poster to this, that the things you require WILL happen, one way or another. Maybe 10 years from now, but they will happen.

[Hung Mung]

This is not the Greatest Thread Ever. No.

This is just a tribute.

A-Fliggo giggoo, fliggoo giggoo...

[fisha]

Somebody told me I could find pickles in here? Looking for the pickle man, haven't seen him since I worked the Ren fair. Hmm, he seems to have left.


I'm going to go take a nap, wake me when someone gets some pickles, wouldja?.

[Autolycus]

I dont see what's so fucking great about it.

Sorry, I am in a :mad: now. Dont mean to be a Negative Nancy.

[blondebear]

I hate to tell you all, but----this is not the greatest thread in the world,
This is just a tribute.
You gotta believe it,
And I wish you were there,
Just a matter of opinion.

Rigga do do

[What Exit?]

There once was a thread, a tiny little thread that never knew what to do.
Then one fine day crinz came along and said you too shall be great.
Long Time Lurker declared it done, and yet it had not yet started.

Next came the pickles, many many pickles,
{I did not want a pickle; I just wanted to ride my motorsicle.}

The plea went out, oh where oh where has Cecil gone,
And Spoons went bardrific, gee that was terrific.

Jim wandered by and realized that no thread could be complete without a reference to Middle-Earth and a very dated Monty Python joke or three.

So here is to never expecting Balrog Wings and Scotty Beam me up, there is no intelligent life in this thread. ;)

Jim {Was I suppose to make any sense or was free form riffs acceptable?}

[4JawChuck]

This is not the Greatest Thread Ever. No.

This is just a tribute.

A-Fliggo giggoo, fliggoo giggoo...
Believe it or not, this is not a Tribute to Tenacious D's Tribute.

I need help. I am exhausted from the constant attention this thread requires. It's been almost 2 hours. Would someone please grab the baton, and, when exhausted, pass it on?

[4JawChuck]

There once was a thread, a tiny little thread that never knew what to do.
Then one fine day crinz came along and said you too shall be great.
Long Time Lurker declared it done, and yet it had not yet started.

Next came the pickles, many many pickles,
{I did not want a pickle; I just wanted to ride my motorsicle.}

The plea went out, oh where oh where has Cecil gone,
And Spoons went bardrific, gee that was terrific.

Jim wandered by and realized that no thread could be complete without a reference to Middle-Earth and a very dated Monty Python joke or three.

So here is to never expecting Balrog Wings and Scotty Beam me up, there is no intelligent life in this thread. ;)

Jim {Was I suppose to make any sense or was free form riffs acceptable?}
There are ANY clear rules to The Greatest Thread Ever? NO!!!!!!!!!!

[4JawChuck]

I dont see what's so fucking great about it.

Sorry, I am in a :mad: now. Dont mean to be a Negative Nancy.
How could it be The Greatest Thread Ever if your ANGER was excluded?
You're early, my friend. Your post will live forever. You're a part of this.
That's what's so fucking great about it.

[blondebear]

This is not the Greatest Thread Ever. No.

This is just a tribute.

A-Fliggo giggoo, fliggoo giggoo...Rats! If I hadn't previewed about 10 times, I would have beat you! :(

[garygnu]

There are ANY clear rules to The Greatest Thread Ever? NO!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, so is it a CalvinThread?
If so then Rule #1: Free pickles.

[OpalCat]

I don't like pickles, nor have I seen them at movie theaters.

*chiming in late*

[4JawChuck]

Ah, so is it a CalvinThread?
If so then Rule #1: Free pickles.
So, then it is... the first rule:

FREE PICKLES.

[OpalCat]

Well shit. I guess I could sell them on the Free Pickle Black Market...

[enigm4tic]

Damn, people beat me to the Tribute reference.

I guess I'll just run with another Shakespearean tribute:

But soft, what words from yonder posting breaks
it is The Thread
and crinz83 is the OP.
arise, the dope, and post this glorious thread,
which is already filled with pickels green
be not a troll, since these are bann'd;
their vill'nous trolling naught but sick and poor.
and none but fools would post it; write true words!
it is my best, O, it is The Thread!

Hey, not nearly as good as the first one, but it's my first time paraphrasing the Bard for the benefit of the dope, plus I only finished that part of the soliloquy because I liked the first few lines I came up with :dubious:

well i guess it's immortalized in the Greatest Thread Ever now :cool:

[Lemur866]

Not just any monkeys.

Monkey butlers. You can't have the greatest thread ever without monkey butlers.

[Autolycus]

I would cheer up if I had a monkey butler.

[Spoons]

...there is no intelligent life in this thread.Ah, but there is. To be the Greatest Thread Ever, it must be classy, and Shakespeare--a mark of intelligence, as I'm sure you'll agree--classes anything up. To wit:

All the Dope's a stage,
And all the posters merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one poster in his or her time plays many parts,
Which fall into seven ages. At first the Newbie,
Who signed up to right another's wrong.
And then the Whining Poster, with his Google
And obscure site references, posting like mad
Trying for belief. And then the occasional user,
Who has seen the debates, many times before,
Over Christianity and Bush. Then a true Doper,
Full of Death Rays and Hi Opals and Og,
Not so jealous of post counts, reasoned and quick at cites,
Seeking the cite's reputation as his or her own
Even in the GD forum. And then the Veteran,
In been-there-done-that attitude with years of experience,
With eyes severe and memory of everything,
Full of "see this old thread" and "did that last year";
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd Ninety-Niner,
With (we like to think) spectacles on nose,
Their high post count, well saved, show a world
Of experience here; and their experienced voices,
At times turn again toward childish treble, yet speak
Across the years. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and bannable offenses,
Sans reason, sans logic, sans taste, sans everything.

Adapted from Shakespeare's As You Like It, II vii 139-166

[4JawChuck]

I now bow out. The Greatest Thread Ever will live, or die with you. I will be back if it makes the 500 post mark. It most likely will not. It is the Sea Turtle that hatches, and struggles to reach the ocean. Be not sad if it does not live on, for it is only one of the many. The actual Greatest Thread Ever will eventually emerge.

500. CRINZ

[WhyNot]

I would cheer up if I had a monkey butler.
Can I interest you in a monkey butler carrying a pickle? I hear OpalCat has some to sell on the Black Pickle Market (though who would buy a black pickle is beyond me.)

[fisha]

Soulis had the same cauld grue as twice that day afore, an' it was borne in upon him what folk said, that Janet was deid lang syne, an' this was a bogle in her claycauld flesh. He drew back a pickle and he scanned her narrowly. She was tramp-trampin' in the cla'es, croonin' to hersel'; and eh! Gude guide us, but it was a fearsome face.

[Autolycus]

Can I interest you in a monkey butler carrying a pickle? I hear OpalCat has some to sell on the Black Pickle Market (though who would buy a black pickle is beyond me.)

I like pickles, but if it's black, then I can tell you where to stick it.

Well, what about pie? The greatest thread ever MUST have pie.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

I'm kinda hungry and pickles sound pretty good right now. What kind of pie would the Best Thread Ever have?


I won the lottery.

[garygnu]

Monkey butlers serving pickle-merange pie. Mmmmmm.

[threnodyangelfire]

I don't like pickles, nor have I seen them at movie theaters.

*chiming in late*

Really? When I visited the US last year, I went to a few movie theatres when it was bad weather and there were huge pickle jars there. At first I thought it was a joke, but I was assured that it wasn't.

It amused me no end anyways :p

[Spoons]

I now bow out. The Greatest Thread Ever will live, or die with you.Nay, sirrah! I prithee, stand and watch as the thread grows!

Th'art no Doper if thou believest that the thread will not grow
Is't not already long beyond thine first expectations?
Look at it--already a fine root, a strong stalk, a flowering.
Yea, all plants in their time must die. But this, not yet--
Lo, still it flowers--see the references to the pickle--
This is such stuff as Dope legends are made of.
Sure to gain the ranks of Hi Opal and Death Rays
And never to sink to the depths of All Your Base.
But soft! Thou hast been a poster some time now
And must be aware of the life of a thread.
I'faith! You have birthed a baby
Who now requires your attention.
Thus, Crinz, you must return
And care for this child thou hast borne
Unto the Dope. Feed it, nourish it, give to it,
See that it has what it needs to be a true Dope thread
And thus to make thee proud, and by extension,
To make the Dopers proud too.
You have embarked upon a mission, Crinz,
To which I wish you Godspeed, but I prithee, do recall
That we are Dopers and do not take kindly to those
Who would play us for fools, for we are not such.
Still, 'tis been pleasant to partake of your view
And with that, and a pause, I will bid you adieu.

Adapted from my own thoughts. No Shakespeare was harmed in the writing of this post, although a few iambs were badly hurt.

[Civil Guy]

I believe The Greatest Thread Ever will make you laugh, cry, think, love, hate. It will do so many other things. It will be powerful. It will have humility.

Okay, okay, those are the criteria... I think. Wait! That's one of them! Wow, that's easy! We might do this after all! I'm... *touched* that I can be a small part of this. ...Whoa, some humility snuck in there. That's two. Lessee... three must be... Hi, Opal!

Ah, this is overwhelming. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I'll do both... YES! Ha ha! Anyone got a tissue, I've got something in my eye - *sob!*

Anyhow, I've loved the time I've spent composing this, but - I hate saying this - it's time for me to post this.

Thank you all for making this possible. Thank you.

[DiosaBellissima]

I just didn't want to be left out. I have no monkeys or pickles-- all I can offer is my heart. Oh, and I make good cookies.



Shaped like pickle-carrying monkeys.

[Suburban Plankton]

There are ANY clear rules to The Greatest Thread Ever? NO!!!!!!!!!!

The first rule of The Greatest Thread Ever is...

There is no Greatest Thread Ever.

[Inner Stickler]

What happened to the free pickles?

[Little Nemo]

Rules? In the Greatest Thread Ever? There aren't any rules in the Greatest Thread Ever!

Someone count one-two-three-go.

[garygnu]

What happened to the free pickles?
That's Rule #1. Didn't you hear?
We also have pie monkey butlers, and Shakespeare adaptations.

[Hung Mung]

I hate to tell you all, but----this is not the greatest thread in the world,
This is just a tribute.
You gotta believe it,
And I wish you were there,
Just a matter of opinion.

Rigga do do
Sweet. Mine has fnords in it, though. Great minds an' all that.

[Hung Mung]

I just didn't want to be left out. I have no monkeys or pickles-- all I can offer is my heart. Oh, and I make good cookies.



Shaped like pickle-carrying monkeys.
I love you. I swear to god I do.

[DiosaBellissima]

I love you. I swear to god I do.

Are you just looking at things in the thread and saying you love them? :dubious: I mean, do you really love me or are you just saying that because you saw me?

[Hung Mung]

Are you just looking at things in the thread and saying you love them? :dubious: I mean, do you really love me or are you just saying that because you saw me?
Actually, that was more of a Donnie Baker/Bob and Tom Show thing.
As for posting twice in a row, I got a bit distracted. Sorry for any freakiness.

[CynicalGabe]

This thread is.

[Randy Seltzer]

The subject line immediately made me think of the Onion article:
Amazing New Hyperbolic Chamber Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Ever (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30990)

What thread can claim the be the greatest without links?

[enigm4tic]

I think the first rule of the Greatest Thread ever should be that you don't talk about the greatest thread ever
The second rule should be...


Free pickles.

Hah, bet you didn't see THAT coming :p

[Manatee]

Free pickles, eh? This is turning into a dilly of a thread.

But "The Greatest Thread Ever"? Well, that'll depend on just how many free pickles there are, won't it?

[garygnu]

Free pickles, eh? This is turning into a dilly of a thread.

But "The Greatest Thread Ever"? Well, that'll depend on just how many free pickles there are, won't it?
A lavender's blue thread, dilly, dilly.
Or, rather, lavender's green.

[Autolycus]

I'm eating a pickle right now.

Actually that's a lie, but in truth i am heading to the 'fridge to GET one now. I also just had cybersex.

[Surok]

Free pickles, eh? This is turning into a dilly of a thread.

But "The Greatest Thread Ever"? Well, that'll depend on just how many free pickles there are, won't it?

Well, there are going to be plenty. This thread is so great I'm going to contribute two 5 litre jars of pickles. Home made.

[Silence of the clams]

I don't understand the pickles sold in movie theatres that I saw in the US. Pickles are not movie food to me! Popcorn is! Ice cream is!But not pickles.

You get pickles at the movies!? Holy cow!

Over here we don't get anything but frisked when going to the movies. If the find even as much as a chewing gum they go for the whole body cavity search thing.

And when we find our seats, we have to share it, so we sit like pickles in a jar. Great thread this, ripping up our repressed and pickled memories.

[What Exit?]

I keep hearing about all these free pickles, but the greatest pickle thread ever should have free energy. Free energy and dancing girls.

Yes definitely Free energy and dancing girls. Oh and Beer!
Can't forget the Beer.

So Free energy and dancing girls and Beer and of course pickles.

BTW: What type of pickles, is it a variety? I would like a nice crisp fresh garlic dill please.

Wait, what was I talking about?
:confused: Jim

[The Librarian]

I can see where this is going and i'm not having pickle pie made by monkey butlers, greatest thread or not.

[WhyNot]

I keep hearing about all these free pickles, but the greatest pickle thread ever should have free energy. Free energy and dancing girls.

Yes definitely Free energy and dancing girls. Oh and Beer!
Can't forget the Beer.

So Free energy and dancing girls and Beer and of course pickles.

BTW: What type of pickles, is it a variety? I would like a nice crisp fresh garlic dill please.

Wait, what was I talking about?
:confused: Jim
Hey, where are our dancing boys? Or is that role filled already by the pickles?

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Hey, where are our dancing boys? Or is that role filled already by the pickles?
Sorry babe, you gotta make do. Besides, who's going to do the dancing? Get on stage!

[What Exit?]

Hey, where are our dancing boys? Or is that role filled already by the pickles?
Sure, sure, either way, whatever floats your boat. :D

[Zeldar]

Well, I guess I ought to contribute at least one post if this is actually going to be the Greatest Thread Ever. All I want to say is

[Dead Cat]

I can't believe that the greatest thread ever is almost entirely about pickles. I don't even like pickles. Pickle, with a bit of cheese, now that's nice.

Anyway, this thread just goes to show that you can't successfully self-identify without something to back it up. Like I could say I'm King of Switzerland - but I'm not really.

This is the worst post ever in the greatest thread ever.

[What Exit?]

I can't believe that the greatest thread ever is almost entirely about pickles. I don't even like pickles. Pickle, with a bit of cheese, now that's nice.

Anyway, this thread just goes to show that you can't successfully self-identify without something to back it up. Like I could say I'm King of Switzerland - but I'm not really.

This is the worst post ever in the greatest thread ever.
What sort of cheese? I mean we do need to strike the proper Cheese and Pickle combination, do we not?

[brewha]

I don't know what I can do to add to the greatness of the Greatest Thread Ever.

So, in an attempt to be artsy, I will recite - from memory - a poem I memorized in 8th grade.

Sit back and enjoy 'Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening' by Robert Frost.

Who's woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here
to watch his woods fill up with snow.

The little horse must think it queer
to stop without a farm house near
between these woods and frozen lake
this darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
to ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sounds the sweep
of easy wind and downy flake.

These woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But, I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep
and miles to go before I sleep.


Thank you for your time.





if there is any mistakes in that poem, bite me. I memorized it 14 yrs ago :)

[Surok]

Thank you, brewha!

That's just what this thread was lacking, a poem to go with the pickles.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

My problem with the flying monkey butlers is what they do when they're not flying. I think they need rocket skates.

[WhyNot]

My problem with the flying monkey butlers is what they do when they're not flying. I think they need rocket skates.
And diapers.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Oh, that reminds me... I was supposed to get some pickles.

[Shodan]

Cite?

Regards,
Shodan

[Least Original User Name Ever]

And diapers.


And pickles. Did we mention those?

I think those were mentioned only once..for 20 minutes...

[blondebear]

Has anyone contacted the Pickle Family Circus about this thread? Problem is, they have no monkeys or butlers to contribute. So screw 'em.

[SmartAleq]

Sweet. Mine has fnords in it, though. Great minds an' all that.

A while ago I thought my parrot was dead--turns out he was just pinin' for the fnords, though. I woke him up with a pickle right across his little feathery nugget. Then he bit me. Ow.

Mmmm, pickles.

My daughter brought me marinated garlic olives from the Olive Pit in Corning--those are pickled enough to qualify--and I have home made pickled beans in my pantry. Now that's some good pickle action I tellya!

[Triskadecamus]

Like I could say I'm King of Switzerland - but I'm not really.
Switzerland has no king. If I was you, posting in the greatest thread ever, I would claim to be the Emir of Swat.

Tris

[Autolycus]

Are we assigning tittles now? I want to be the Duke of Funk.

[freckafree]

You get pickles at the movies!? Holy cow!

Over here we don't get anything but frisked when going to the movies. If the find even as much as a chewing gum they go for the whole body cavity search thing.

Somehow, the words "pickles" and "whole body cavity search" in the same sentence make me cringe.

And if you'd really like to enjoy brewha's contribution, try singing it to the tune of "Hernando's Hideway."

[brewha]

In my attempt to be artsy, I purposely forced everyone to contemplate the meaning of the phrase " Who is woods these are I think I know".

I was trying to draw a comparison to a person actually being the woods instead of being in a woods. Wrap your mind around that!






or I don't know the difference between who's and whose grrrr.

[OpalCat]

Really? When I visited the US last year, I went to a few movie theatres when it was bad weather and there were huge pickle jars there. At first I thought it was a joke, but I was assured that it wasn't.

It amused me no end anyways :p
Maybe it was a regional thing. I've never seen it. Most movie theaters I have been to (except the fancier ones that have pizza and stuff) just have popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, and candy. Some have big pretzels, too. I wish they didn't have hotdogs, though, because I'm sorry, but that is just a gross smell and when you're watching a movie and the guy behind you is eating a hotdog... just...eww.

[SmartAleq]

Are we assigning tittles now? I want to be the Duke of Funk.

Well, can assigning jots be far behind?

[SSG Schwartz]

crinz83, wrote a thread and said that this was the greatest thread ever. I wrote him back a post and told him it was not the Greatest Thread ever because he hadn't said anything at all about:
Trains, or trucks, or Mama, or prison, or gettin' drunk.
Well, a Doper wrote back a post and after readin' it I realized that my friend had writtten to Greatest Post Ever.
Best post goes like this here....

I was drunk the day my mom got outta prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain....

Can we all sing the verse together?

Sgt Schwartz

[garygnu]

brewha, you're supposed to adapt the poetry to the forums. See:

Whose threads these are I think I know.
His house is in Chicago though.
He does not bother stopping here
To watch the dopers blather so.

The little mods must think it queer
To post without a spell-check near
With in-jokes and puns that make us ache,
Can you believe they volunteer?

They give their moderator tags a shake
To tell you of a rules mistake.
They keep their watch over the sheep
Who pine for pickles and birthday cake.

The forums are civil, nice and cheap,
But I have promised not to weep,
And postcounts to pad before I sleep,
And postcounts to pad before I sleep.



(Only a little bit tortured.)

[brewha]

garygnu , I applaude your cleverness - nicely done!

Sadly, I haven't the gift of wit - only the gift of brain sludge.

[4JawChuck]

The Greatest Thread Ever must include one

BUMP.

[Amazon Floozy Goddess]

I believe The Greatest Thread Ever will make you laugh, cry, think, love, hate.
CRINZ

Laugh: Why did the snail take off his shell? He was feeling a little SLUGGISH!

Cry: Somewhere right now, somebody is dying.

Think: What if this is all a dream, and our dreams are reality?

Love: You're beautiful and nothing can change that.

Hate: I dislike everything you represent.


It is done!

[Long Time Lurker]

It is done!
Blasphemy. This thread was done in post 4. Mods, please delete all subsequent posts and lock this thread. People are finger painting all over my Mona Lisa.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Think: What if this is all a dream, and our dreams are reality?
So I've actually been skinny dipping in a pool of custard with Jessica Simpson while Rage Against The Machine played a show in Carthage?

w00t!

[olivesmarch4th]

Are you just looking at things in the thread and saying you love them? I mean, do you really love me or are you just saying that because you saw me?
I LOVE DIOSA BELLISSIMA!!!!!!*

*or LAMP. Take your pick.

You can't have a pickle thread without Olives!

But what is this nonsense about pickles at movie theatres? I am a born and bred Michigander and never heard of such a thing in my life. If it were true and not a horrible urban legend, however, I am certain the pickles would cost $10 a piece and you would not be permitted to smuggle in your own pickles.

Also may I contribute by being the irritating n00b who asks, "WTF do you mean by the ''Tribute'' reference? :confused:

[garygnu]

Also may I contribute by being the irritating n00b who asks, "WTF do you mean by the ''Tribute'' reference? :confused:
The 'signature' song of Tenacious D (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribute_%28song%29).

[4JawChuck]

BTW, if you love pickles, peal and very thinly slice a bunch of cucumbers. Put in a bowl and pour a TON of salt on them. Throw in the fridge for a few hours. Rinse the crap out of them, but don't squeeze them. Add Italian dressing, and tomatoes, if you like.
The cucumbers are almost like pickles. The Greatest Cucumber Salad Ever, in The Greatest Thread Ever.

[olivesmarch4th]

The 'signature' song of Tenacious D.
That is the greatest thing I have ever heard. Thank you.

[garygnu]

That is the greatest thing I have ever heard. Thank you.
You're very welcome. Here's a pickle. :D

[4JawChuck]

This thread will not end. There is no way to falsify the claim that this is The Greatest Thread Ever.
There will be believers. There will be non-believers.
The first thousand posts will not make it seem like anything at all. Ten thousand posts later, it will still not be clear to the majority. I am not concerned by the majority. It will be many, many years before this will be seen as The Greatest Thread Ever, by the masses.
I say unto you, this is The Greatest Thread Ever.

CRINZ

[Autolycus]

What's our theme song?

[CynicalGabe]

"This is the thread that ne-ver ends. It goes on and on my friends....."

[bbs2k]

Yes, but what if The Greatest Thread Ever was written by someone else?

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Yes, but what if The Greatest Thread Ever was written by someone else?
Blasphemy!

Such a thread could not exist for one simple reason: we will find it and outdo it, thus making it not the best thread ever, as it will have been exceeded in best-ness.

[CynicalGabe]

The question is.. could Dopers create a thread so great even they could not outdo it?

[What Exit?]

The question is.. could Dopers create a thread so great even they could not outdo it?
Maybe!

[garygnu]

The greatset thread never dies, unless it dies.

[Little Nemo]

Yes, but what if The Greatest Thread Ever was written by someone else?Then we shall link to that thread and make it ours.

[bbs2k]

Is it just me, or is this thread not so great?

[garygnu]

Is it just me, or is this thread not so great?
Not so great, really (just a n00bie trying to be special).
Here's a pickle anyway! :D

[Gorgonzola]

This thread will not end. There is no way to falsify the claim that this is The Greatest Thread Ever.
There will be believers. There will be non-believers.
The first thousand posts will not make it seem like anything at all. Ten thousand posts later, it will still not be clear to the majority. I am not concerned by the majority. It will be many, many years before this will be seen as The Greatest Thread Ever, by the masses.
I say unto you, this is The Greatest Thread Ever.

CRINZ
Uhm, what happened to you buggering off until 500?

[Autolycus]

The mods accuse me of being too pointless, yet this thread and its evil twin still takes breathe? J'accuse.

So, what if the Greatest and Worst thread were fused together? Would we have the most mundane thread ever?

[threnodyangelfire]

You got a problem with pickles?

Is that some Australian thing?

Hey, at my local theater you can get baba ganoush.

With a pickle!

Tris

It's not so much I have a problem wth them, it's just that pickles don't seem to be fun movie food! Cheezels! YES! Ice cream! YES! Lollies! YES! Crisps! YES!

Pickles? Nu uh! :p

[Ice Wolf]

You folk have just reminded me to have some pickle with my dinner tonight. Yesssss ... (yum!)

[garygnu]

Pickles!

[4JawChuck]

Uhm, what happened to you buggering off until 500?
Busted. I didn't do it. Honestly, I thought this thread would die quickly. I figured it would get maybe 20 responses.
If you want, I'll tell you more of why I posted this. No, ain't trolling, by any means.

CRINZ

[garygnu]

This "greatest" thread (which nobody thinks is) has moved beyonda single poster's control anyhow.
Pickles are not a movie food, BTW, just fun to eat (yet free with any post here).

[4JawChuck]

This "greatest" thread (which nobody thinks is) has moved beyonda single poster's control anyhow.
Pickles are not a movie food, BTW, just fun to eat (yet free with any post here).
If the thread continues, it has to be due to GARYGNU.. it is up to you.
Gary, you made pickles important.

CRINZ

[Autolycus]

This thread is now like stale dog poop. Easy to pick up, throw away, and forget about.

:: munches on a pickle ::

[4JawChuck]

This thread is now like stale dog poop. Easy to pick up, throw away, and forget about.

:: munches on a pickle ::\\

Amen. It needs to end,

[garygnu]

I've heard reports of ancient Egyptian tombs being opened with dill pickles still intact inside.

[Little Nemo]

The mods accuse me of being too pointless, yet this thread and its evil twin still takes breathe? J'accuse.Auto, I think you need to realize that not all of us see the same correlation that you do between topics that are interesting and topics about what Autolycus did today.

[Autolycus]

Auto, I think you need to realize that not all of us see the same correlation that you do between topics that are interesting and topics about what Autolycus did today.

Point taken. I guess I was just a little bitter. I still think my thread was better though :mad:

[Silence of the clams]

You forgot to pickle it.

[chowder]

Cry Og for Harry, pickles and.....oh never mind.

[4JawChuck]

Hey, finally.. one of the ANAL MODS shut down my other thread. It was deemed too mundane, and too pointless.
I love that.
I will attempt to have more of a point next time. I will try to be less mundane.
I will ignore irony.

[SmartAleq]

ANAL MODS? What, like a pierced sphincter or something? That would really hurt like a bitch when the pickle juice hit it...