Gravitists vs Downists

[C K Dexter Haven]

OK, it's time to have it out for once and for all. These Gravitists keep arguing in for their theory of gravity. It's time to point out:

(1) It's only a "theory" of gravity, and there are many other possible theories. For example, we know that things fall down just because it's down (Theory of Downism) and that has equal weight (ahem) with the theory of gravity.

(2) There are lots of things that the theory of gravity fail to explain. For instance, the absence of dinosaur puke in the fossil record. If the earth is really spinning around so fast, then creatures on the earth would feel dizzy and hurl. The absence of dinosaur vomit in geological findings is clear evidence that the earth is not now, nor never has, rotated.

(3) The Bible clearly says that exiles will be gathered from the four corners of the earth. The gravitists claim there aren't four corners, that the earth is sorta vaguely round. Hah! But that theory is disproved by the Bible.

(4) If gravity really worked, the earth would be a perfect sphere. But even the gravitists say it's kinda a squished sphere.

[Dangerosa]

You forgot that Einsteinian physics disproves Newtonian physics, therefore the Theory of Gravity has been disproven by Einstein himself.

[kabbes]

Yeah - and if the theory of "gravity" is so good, where are the missing links? If I attract stuff, it should all be linked to me.

Of course I accept that micro-gravity may be true.

pan

[pldennison]

Dex, I am offended and dumbfounded that you would ignore us Suckists, who believe that things fall down because the Earth sucks.

[headshok]

Why do they call it the "law" of gravity, like it's been proven? You can't see gravity, can you? Huh? Huh? Can you?

And what are the odds that the gravitational force exerted by one object on another object just happens to decrease with the square of the distance between those two objects? Why the square? There are an infinite amount of numbers; it could have been cubed or fourthed or 6678576thed or anything instead of squared. I've heard that the odds that it would be the square of the distance have been calculated to be 1/(the biggest number ever). And, if it were anything else besides squared we wouldn't be around now. Therefore God decided it was squared. QED.

[kabbes]

Suckism? I can't believe that anybody still believes that! I mean - how do you explain the fact that sometimes the Earth blows?

[Trout Mask Replica]

Gravitism leads to moral turpitude. If we are nothing more than falling objects, then why is it bad to, say, push people off of subway platforms?

Furthermore, did you know that Isaac Newton renounced gravitism on his deathbed?

[RickJay]

Originally posted by kabbes
Yeah - and if the theory of "gravity" is so good, where are the missing links? If I attract stuff, it should all be linked to me.

Of course I accept that micro-gravity may be true.

pan

I've always wondered this. If the Moon, which is one-sixth the mass of the Earth, orits the Earth, why isn't my monitor whirling around me? (This, I am sure everyone would agree, would be really cool.)

[manhattan]

1) It's only a "theory" of gravity, and there are many other possible theories. For example, we know that things fall down just because it's down (Theory of Downism) and that has equal weight (ahem) with the theory of gravity. Feh. Downism failed when it was unable to explain why you can’t get down off an elephant. As for pldennison’s even more fanciful "Theory of Suckism," I would love to hear an explanation of why attraction decreases with the square of the distance, while everyone knows that the earth sucks equally at all distances. "Suckism" indeed.

(2) There are lots of things that the theory of gravity fail to explain. For instance, the absence of dinosaur puke in the fossil record. If the earth is really spinning around so fast, then creatures on the earth would feel dizzy and hurl. The absence of dinosaur vomit in geological findings is clear evidence that the earth is not now, nor never has, rotated. Have you ever read a science text? Velikovsky proved that the spin rate increased dramatically after Venus made its pass. That said, Dinosaur Puke does exist. Right now, a barrel of West Texas Intermediate Dinosaur Puke goes for about 32 bucks.

(3) The Bible clearly says that exiles will be gathered from the four corners of the earth. The gravitists claim there aren't four corners, that the earth is sorta vaguely round. Hah! But that theory is disproved by the Bible. Wow. You have to read your own sources more closely, dex. Even biblical literalists have a story to coincide with the Venus passing. The Lord changed the shape of the earth. "And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid." Lk, 2.9


(4) If gravity really worked, the earth would be a perfect sphere. But even the gravitists say it's kinda a squished sphere. ::sigh:: I’ll try this again, for the benefit of lurkers who may be coming across this canard for the first time. The earth has gravity, but so does everything else. The earth used to be a sphere, but it got pulled out of place. The problem has gotten more pronounced in recent years. How do you think we made the measurements to determine squishiness? Satellites, that’s how. And what do you think those satellites are doing? That’s right. They are pulling on the earth with their gravity. So the more satellites, the more squishiness. It’s a self-proving theory.

[Kyberneticist]

It might be interesting to set up miniature solar systems in microgravity... Would a ping-pong ball orbit a basketball in the shuttle if set up right? Or would there be too much "noise" from all the other massive stuff around?

[Kyberneticist]

I was responding to RickJay. :)

[Freyr]

Hear, hear, Brother CKDextHavn! Preach it!

Those "gravitist" also insist that there's this attraction between all things. Well, I can tell you right now that my monitor is not the least bit attracted to me, nor I to it. Good Ghods, man, the thing's plastic and glass, how in the name of the Big Flat Earth am I going to be attracted to that!?

And they insist that the Big Flat Earth moves, too! How can it move and not be felt! Of course it doesn't move, everything revovles around it. Just go out and look at the night sky and see everything revolve around us! Can't those "gravitist" understand the plain evidence infront of their own eyes. Everything revolves around the Big Flat Earth. We're at the center of the Universe, it's that simple!

And the stars and "planets" (which are just really bigger stars colored differently) are carried on the crystalline spheres that slowly move thru the heavens as they're pushed by the Angels. If this "gravity theory" were true, they'd fall down to the Big Flat Earth, wouldn't they? C'mon admit, they would!

And this Kepler and Copurnicus fellow (who was a Polack, btw) admitted they didn't know how this "gravity" worked. They admitted that if it was true, that everything would fall down to the Big Flat Earth, so if they didn't believe their own "theory" why should we!?

[John Corrado]

Originally posted by manhattan
Feh. Downism failed when it was unable to explain why you can’t get down off an elephant.

Oh, come on now. Don't set up *that* old straw man. Everyone know that the current interpretation of Joshia 1:1-13 explains that you can't get down off an elephant; you get down off a duck.


::sigh:: I’ll try this again, for the benefit of lurkers who may be coming across this canard for the first time. The earth has gravity, but so does everything else. The earth used to be a sphere, but it got pulled out of place. The problem has gotten more pronounced in recent years. How do you think we made the measurements to determine squishiness? Satellites, that’s how. And what do you think those satellites are doing? That’s right. They are pulling on the earth with their gravity. So the more satellites, the more squishiness. It’s a self-proving theory.

Then how do you explain ancient maps, which clearly show the earth as being "not-quite-round"? We didn't have satellites in Magellan's time, but maps of the 16th and 17th century show a slight pull.

[dropzone]

Originally posted by kabbes
Yeah - and if the theory of "gravity" is so good, where are the missing links? If I attract stuff, it should all be linked to me.The fact that kabbes is as unattractive as he is clearly disproves the misguided beliefs of the gravitists.
Of course I accept that micro-gravity may be true. Careful! You have stepped onto that slippery slope that leads to card playing and dancing! Either gravity exists or it does not. There is no middle ground and anyone who suggest that there is will burn in Hell for the secular humanist he is.

[dropzone]

Originally posted by Freyr
We're at the center of the Universe, it's that simple! More specifically, I'm at the center of the universe. It is good that I spend most of my time parked in front of a computer or the rest of you would get dizzy when I moved around.

[barker]

As usual the Moderators are persecuting the downists. They never do this to any other group. Why can't you just leave us alone.
Note manhattan's comments
Downism failed when it was unable to explain why you can’t get down off an elephantStraw-man
Wow. You have to read your own sources more closely, dex. Even biblical literalists have a story to coincide with the Venus passingad hominen attack
while everyone knows that the earth sucks equally at all distancesCite please?
"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid." Lk, 2.9
Your interpretation is entirely incorrect. You need to get rid of that King James version and get the Revised Standard Edition. Replace "sore afraid" will "full of fear" and the true meaning of the passage comes to light.

[C K Dexter Haven]

<< Why do they call it the "law" of gravity, like it's been proven? You can't see gravity, can you? Huh? Huh? Can you? >>

Well, the Indiana state legislature (along with its law that pi = 3) also passed a bill enforcing gravity, hence the ... um ... law of gravity. However, it's only operative in Indiana.

[Navigator]

I'm neither a downist or a gravitist.

I think that up is down and down is up.

Centrifugal force... I am a roundandroundist...

on the subject of maps anything other than the Mercator projection is a lie straight from hell.

[headshok]

manhattan:

I read your post; I'm not going to quote any of it because I've already forgotten what it said and I'm sure it's wrong anyway. But let me give you and all of the other gravitists something brand new to ponder:

1 -- If I believe in downism, and I'm wrong, I lose nothing.
2 -- If you believe in gravitism, and you're wrong, you lose everything.

Something to think about, no?

[kabbes]

And what if you found Joseph's coat half way up Mount Arafat? Would you believe in Downism* then?




*or was that made of cotton?

[jab1]

You guys have GOT to stop making threads like this. When I'm ROTFLMAO in the middle of a public library, people look at me funny. More than usual, I mean.

[Freyr]

Oh, and more proof of Downism; I have several friends, all of whom are highly educated and they all agree that Downism is true! One has a PhD in Chemistry, the other is an electronics technician and the last is a Master Plumber. They all say Downism is true! How can you argue with people who hold degrees!?

And Aristotle taught Downism! And he taught Plato and Socrates, so that proves that Downism has been around a long time and lots of people believe it and how can they be wrong?

[barker]

I have proof that the high priest of Gravitism, Sir Issac is actually the Anti-christ

Look at his formula:
F=G((m1*m2)/r^2)
where:
m1, m2 are masses
r is distance between the centers of the masses
G is the universal gravitational constant

Now let G = 1 (for simplicity)
m1 = 96
m2 = 111
r = 4

Solve for F. Irrefutable proof.

[tracer]

CKDextHavn wrote:

(2) There are lots of things that the theory of gravity fail to explain. For instance, the absence of dinosaur puke in the fossil record. If the earth is really spinning around so fast, then creatures on the earth would feel dizzy and hurl. The absence of dinosaur vomit in geological findings is clear evidence that the earth is not now, nor never has, rotated.

Ah, so you're not merely a Downist, you're one of those "non-rotating Earth Downists"!

You know, there are plenty of good Christians out there who have no trouble accepting that the descriptions of Downism and the non-rotating Earth in the Old Testament are just metaphors, written for the limited scientific understanding of the readers in their own time, and are not to be taken literally. Why, even the Catholic Church now admits that the Earth rotates! (Although they didn't used to in Galileo's time.*)

Or is your faith so shaky that you need to "prove" to yourself that every word in the Old Testament is literally true?



*) My apologies for inserting a real, serious statement in this thread -- but it fit so well!

[kabbes]

WHY do you all persist in insulting me ALL THE TIME???. It's all so UNFAIR.

You all call me an idiot just because of my beliefs. You're all bigots. Everyone's against me, but you're ALL WRONG.

And what about PLANNED GRAVITY?




::considers bringing in sock puppet* to parrot responses::


*er... Mods, I hope that I don't need to point out that this is a joke

[Freyr]

jab1 wrote:

You guys have GOT to stop making threads like this. When I'm ROTFLMAO in the middle of a public library, people look at me funny. More than usual, I mean.

That's VERY insulting! It says right here in my Holy Book that Downism is right because my Holy Book says so.

I bet you're one of those atheist types that just wants to destroy all religion. And once religion is destroyed, communism will take over and all of Western civilization will be gone, too!

[jab1]

Stuff falls down because it would look funny if it fell up. It would violate the natural order of stuff.

Them gravitists also claim there's no air in space. (Why? Because gravity made all the air fall onto the Earth.) If Heaven is in space and there is no air up there, how does God breathe, huh? How could Gabriel blow his trumpet? And how could anyone hear it?

[Derleth]

Are those your best arguments? I'll show you an argument!
Givens:

G.1. The Earth exists in my reference frame, all other reference frames being damned.
G.2. It is now late evening in my reference frame. The sun is (nearly) gone. The sky looks like burnished silver. The sun was gold. Bimetallism has authority from On High, the bad money driving out the good.
G.3. I am sitting down.
G.4. Sucking sucks. Therefore, it cannot be valid.

Inferences:

I.1. Given G.1 and G.3, I must be attracted by Earth.
I.2. That means Earth must be more massive than I, or else I would have crushed the Earth.
I.3. I.2 means that my diet has worked, meaning that I can eat pizza.
I.4. Given G.2 and I.3, the pizza will be purchased by money that is backed by gold and silver. This money is rapidly devaluing (Grisham's Law), meaning that the value is going down.
I.5. Given G.4, we know that nothing could suck the value of currency down.
I.6. Therefore, nothing is sucking on me. Damn.
I.7. Since both me (massive [yeah, I'm pretty big]) and the value of currency (nonmassive [I've never seen any bills so big I couldn't run with them.]) are going down, the direction of down must have some special property.
I.8. Therefore, downists must be right while suckists just suck. Their argument sucks, too.

Satisfied?

[RickJay]

Originally posted by Kyberneticist
It might be interesting to set up miniature solar systems in microgravity... Would a ping-pong ball orbit a basketball in the shuttle if set up right? Or would there be too much "noise" from all the other massive stuff around?

I'm still trying to sort out this downism/suckism theory. To conduct our experiment, we'll need to construct an anti-suck AND anti-downity stasis field. Obviously, you and I should get a huge government grant to construct one. I suggest we build our prototype in Tahiti.

An alternate theory would be porcism, the theory that I am affixed to the earth because I'm inhaling Big Macs at record pace, but I cannot figure out how to isolate this effect from the downist or suckist effects. It also would not explain how supermodels stay on the ground.

I think it's a damned shame the Presidential candidates have not addressed this key issue.

[tomndebb]

All right. If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? Gravity provides a clear explanation of Flight using the principle of Static Gravity, which, when one overcomes it, allows one to go Up.

Nothing in the (faith based) speculations of Downism can accurately explain why anything is allowed to go Up. Clearly this specious argument has been allowed to continue only as a sop to that (name withheld) Down-wing political party and its increasingly vocal religious supporters. If left to the politics of the Downists, the Wright brothers would have spent their final years in prison for having the temerity to demonstrate that one can overcome gravity (which the Downists refuse to even recognize as a force).

Too many Gravitists haven taken this lightly. Now our children are being threatened with ignorance as one state after another considers bill requiring that Scientific Downism be taught in the schools. This charade must stop. Stand up to Downism!

[pantom]

barker, can you post your solution to that formula for me please? I'm laughing so hard my eyes are tearing over here, and every time I try on the back of an envelope it just smears up because of all the water...

[pantom]

CKDextHavn:


<< Why do they call it the "law" of gravity, like it's been proven? You can't see gravity, can you? Huh? Huh? Can you? >>

Well, the Indiana state legislature (along with its law that pi = 3) also passed a bill enforcing gravity, hence the ... um ... law of gravity. However, it's only operative in Indiana.


Didn't you mean Kansas? Or did I miss something?

[JDeMobray]

While I have no problem believing that "gravity" holds things down, I think you must all acknowledge that the only reason it does so is because H-nk (Posessor of the Mighty Ass) created a set of rules to hold things in the proper Down direction.

And for those of you who believe that "gravity" could exist without H-nk, let me simply ask you this: Does science have a theory of black holes?

[Wrath]

As an Uppist, I take offense to this whole thread. My physionomy recapitulates the notion of reverse ion polarity. In essence, I am attracted to the dark matter of the universe (or it to me, I haven't been able to figure it out).

The worst part is the damn gravity boots that I have to wear - even to bed.

Oh - and I apologize in advance for the meteors that are headed this way.

[SPOOFE]

You're all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Stuff falls down 'cuz Simon said so.

Sheesh! I used to think you guys were smart!!

[barker]

Originally posted by pantom
can you post your solution to that formula for me please? I'm laughing so hard my eyes are tearing over here, and every time I try on the back of an envelope it just smears up because of all the water...

We can't make it that easy. Just think number of the Beast

[barker]

tomndeb said If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? No explanation is possible, it is beyond the comprehension of mankind. When I was in Downer school, one of the lead Downist told us that on "Flight Sunday" almost all Downist will commit a heresy by even trying to explain this mystery.:D

And then
Now our children are being threatened with ignorance as one state after another considers bill requiring that Scientific Downism be taught in the schools. This charade must stop. Stand up to Downism!

Well, I think we should take this to the Pit. And I would except that Lynn doesn't want anyone to play games and have fun over there.:rolleyes:

[MEBuckner]

And how does this so-called "Scientific Downism" explain protein homology? Huh? Huh? You can't answer, can you?

[Smeghead]

See, what really happened is that orgainsms that floated in the air had a hard time mating - they'd carom wildly off nearby mountains. Therefore, over time, organisms that happened to be able to stick to the ground better had an advantage, passed on the gravity genes, and now we're all stuck down here. Birds are genetic throwbacks. (See WoodThrush, for example. :D -- Just kidding, Woody!)

There. That should twist things up some.

I knew you were on our side in that thread in your forum, Dex!

[barker]

smeghead
I am confused by your post.
Is this an arguement for a theistic Downism or is this a Naturalistic approach?

And tomndebb sorry I left a b of the end of your name in a previous post. I had to use it elsewhere.

[Dijon Warlock]

Originally posted by John Corrado
Then how do you explain ancient maps, which clearly show the earth as being "not-quite-round"? We didn't have satellites in Magellan's time, but maps of the 16th and 17th century show a slight pull.

Yeah, but you didn't live back then, did you? How can you say they didn't have satellites? How do you explain the Piri Reis map, anyway?

As a Lateralist, I'm personally of the opinion that everything moves sideways in one direction or another. These meaningless concepts such as "up" and "down" are simply fanciful constructs with no real meaning; promulgated throughout society to rationalise discriminatory gestalts.

Or something.

[edwino]

Yeah but can you explain the constancy of g over time? Rocks from the Oolagalagoong Desert in North Central Australia definitely bear marks of g fluctuating, by X-ray headcheesemography. Saying that g fluctuates from 9.8 m/s/s over time means that you have to call into question the existance of gravity through history.

So, we can conclude that these rocks, while looking like they are depending on gravity for their weight, actually give credence to the theory of a Holy Downinity, complete with Divine Construction (which is how cathedrals stay on the ground).

[barker]

Fluctuation of g:
Clearly the Saturn Myth would account for this.
That deals with Antideluvian times and would require its own thread.

[Wood Thrush]

An experiment will help us clear up this whole mess.

Sheltered from the wind, an anvil will be lifted 10 feet in the air via the use of pulleys. Directly blow the anvil, Smeghead will be strapped to a chair. I will release the cord that holds up the anvil. Smeghead wil then observe the anvil carefully for any movement.

The results of this experiment should change the way we think about falling, so don't be surprised if I suddenly leave the country to attend some symposium or something.

[Smeghead]

Thank heavens for my famously extra-thick skull....

[hawthorne]

posted by tomndebb
If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? People PRAY in aeroplanes and give thanks when a safe landing is achieved. After the Great Float when there are no more of the rightious Downists amongst you, your puny planes will rust on the ground as symbols of man's hubris.

[tomndebb]

And you're going to tell us that birds, bats, and bugs are also praying to be kept aloft? I think not. Why would God invest in miracles to keep critters aloft just to entice men to attempt to emulate them, then require a totally different agency to let men accomplish the same thing? If God is going to keep those critters off the ground, He would use natural means to do it.

(I realize that from your perspective, picmr, it is the same agency--miracles for beasts and prayers for men--but that seems to require more direct involvement in the day-to-day activities of the world than God demonstrates in any other realm. I simply cannot accept that answer.)

The anihilation of Static Gravity in the beating of their wings accomplishes this feat for creatures. Humanity accomplishes the same thing by anihilating Static Gravity with noise. (Notice that airplane engines are inherently loud and that no effort is made to muffle them.) God is not required as an agent for flight. Science describes the event quite well.

[edwino]

How bout hot air balloons?

[Mauve Dog]

Originally posted by tomndebb
All right. If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? Gravity provides a clear explanation of Flight using the principle of Static Gravity, which, when one overcomes it, allows one to go Up.

Forgive me for interrupting in a thread where I clearly have no knowledge of the principles involved, but...

I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I'll see if I can find the cite...). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, per se. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object.

Have I completely misinterpreted this idea?

[Palm Cove]

Originally posted by edwino
Yeah but can you explain the constancy of g over time? Rocks from the Oolagalagoong Desert in North Central Australia definitely bear marks of g



Stay up to date!!
Those rocks have been shown to be fakes, planted by downists in an elaborate hoax.

see http://www.dodgyrocks.com.au

[edwino]

Next you'll tell me the imprint of the ancient coyote next to the imprint of the T. Rex at the foot of the cliff in Glen Rose is a fake too.

[Palm Cove]

Originally posted by edwino
Next you'll tell me the imprint of the ancient coyote next to the imprint of the T. Rex at the foot of the cliff in Glen Rose is a fake too.

How dare you be so presumptuious. I would never sugest such a thing, unless there was suficient evidence to prove that they were fakes.

I was referring only to the rocks from the Oolagalagoong Desert in North Central Australia. To dismiss one piece of evidence is not to dismiss all evidence.

[betenoir]

All of this talk about rocks and air! All of this "debate" and "science".

Don't you realize what's at stake here? Don't you realize Gravitisum is nothing more than a Satanic plot to convince people that the way they stick to the Earth has nothing to do with God? And therefore it doesn't matter which way they stick to the Earth? Soon, they won't be sticking to the Earth the way God meant them to. They'll be sticking to the Earth ANY WAY THEY WANT! Tommorrow you could wake up and your neighbor will be walking around on his eyebrows! And they'll be teaching eyebrow walking to your children in school! IS THAT THE KIND OF WORLD WE WANT TO LIVE IN?!

[August West]

tomndebb said". If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying?
Obviously, God created the birds to test our faith and airplanes are another example of man attempting to be god-like. Have faith that those who commit the sin of flying are doomed to an eternity of despair.

[Phobos]

Everyone knows that duct tape holds the universe together. Basically, there is an ether of duct tape atoms throughout the universe. These stick to other forms of matter and make everything stick together. It's so obvious. You're all fooling yourselves about gravitism and downism. Duct tape is the fundamental particle and the grand unifying force all rolled up into one.

[Palm Cove]

Can you imagine the court case of someone busted for breaking the laws of gravity.

Prosecutor: He was high as a kite your honour.

[tomndebb]

tomndebb:The anihilation of Static Gravity in the beating of their wings accomplishes this feat for creatures. Humanity accomplishes the same thing by anihilating Static Gravity with noise.

edwino:How bout hot air balloons?

Have you ever listened to a hot air balloon? The burners on those things can be heard up to a mile and a half away on a calm day. The burner is, in fact, so loud, that it is able to create a reserve of Static Gravity that keeps the balloons aloft for a short period even after the burner has been silenced.

(Someone will now try to interrupt with a comment on helium balloons, but I assure you that that issue has been dealt with by Dr. Palabra Sinverdad when he investigated the properties of helium, hydrogen, and methane and discovered that, due to their simple molecular structure, they were able to store large quantities of the Static Gravity-defeating agent phlogiston when they were created. (Notice that it requires considerable heat to extract those chemicals. The phlogiston is transferred to the chemicals during the extraction process.)

[jab1]

Originally posted by Wrath
Oh - and I apologize in advance for the meteors that are headed this way.

Lead story in the current issue of Weekly World News: "900 Killer Asteroids Headed Toward Earth!!" Well, we can't say we weren't warned.

(They have a website, www.weeklyworldnews.com, but it has last week's issue. If there really are 900 killer asteroids approaching, I guess they figured, "Why bother updating? We're all gonna die anyway.")

[Freyr]

Mauve Dog wrote:

I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I'll see if I can find the cite...). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, per se. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object.

MD, you must have remembered this from a pamplet by that great Downist research, Jack Chickpea. I have several of his papers and they clearly explain why the Downist theory is right and anything else is simply the work of the Great Invisible Boogey Man.

The Great Invisible Boogey Man is the one who cluttered up the world with these invalid concepts of "thrust" and "lift" and all of those other Gravitist words that don't mean anything.

I'd show you the link to his website, but I have to go help a little old lady cross a busy street. And even as I type this, I can see she's being molested by a homosexual boyscout, so this may take a while.

[Freyr]

Mauve Dog wrote:

I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I'll see if I can find the cite...). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, per se. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object.

MD, you must have remembered this from a pamplet by that great Downist researcher, Jack Chickpea. I have several of his papers and they clearly explain why the Downist theory is right and anything else is simply the work of the Great Invisible Boogey Man.

The Great Invisible Boogey Man is the one who cluttered up the world with these invalid concepts of "thrust" and "lift" and all of those other Gravitist words that don't mean anything.

I'd show you the link to his website, but I have to go help a little old lady cross a busy street. And even as I type this, I can see she's being molested by a homosexual boyscout, so this may take a while.

[jab1]

Originally posted by tomndebb
Humanity accomplishes the same thing (flight) by anihilating Static Gravity with noise. (Notice that airplane engines are inherently loud and that no effort is made to muffle them.)

And rockets fly faster than airplanes because they are louder than airplanes.

Only rockets can fly in space because only they are fast enough to fly through the Divine Force Field God established to keep birds and other flying animals from flying off into space. What color is the DFF? Blue. And now you know why the sky is blue. (You can't see the DFF at night, because, if you could, you couldn't use the stars and planets for signs.)

It's all very simple. In fact, that's WHY it's true! If it was complicated, it wouldn't be true! See?

[C K Dexter Haven]

What hath got wrought??

[barker]

Originally posted by CKDextHavn
What hath got wrought??

Troll. Please do not feed.

[glee]

He whose name cannot be written (1) made it appear that gravity exists. To test our faith in him. His purpose is unknowable. (2)

Unlike gravitists, who insist on merely one theory (3), there are many opposing schools of thought involving Him. This proves gravity is wrong.

I would like to w*tn*ss here. The best non-gravity sect comes from .... Dijon Warlock :cool:

Listen, ye Heathens and repent (4)

'As a Lateralist, I'm personally of the opinion that everything moves sideways in one direction or another. These meaningless concepts such as "up" and "down" are simply fanciful constructs with no real meaning; promulgated throughout society to rationalise discriminatory gestalts.'

Thank you for your attention. Have a nice day.

(1) No, not Cecil :rolleyes:
(2) I know this for sure :(
(3) A scientific theory isn't a fact, is it? :confused:
(4) Or you will be thrown into a bowl of hot custard :o

[Dinsdale]

Fools! Open your eyes to the glorious balance about you.
Birds fly only to the extent that creatures burrow and fish swim. He knows the very hairs on your head, the grains of sand on the beach. It is a mere bag of shells for Him to make sure one worm, three beetles, and a vole are digging before the sparrow can take wind. Pay attention! Is it only a coincidence that for a robin to pull a worm from the ground, they both happen to be at the very surface of the earth AT THE SAME TIME?

Study your history. Have you forgotten that we had subways before airplanes?

Sheesh! It's so simple, if you stop and think about it. I don't know why I try to speak sensibly to you.

[hawthorne]

Posted by jab1
And rockets fly faster than airplanes because they are louder than airplanes. What my sibling has neglected to mention is that in addition to being noisy, rockets don't have wings, but as my upright pastor says "flyest still do they". So much for your repulsive so-called theory of thr*st.

picmr

[tracer]

Dijon Warlock wrote:

As a Lateralist,
Are you a member of the Church of Lateral-Day Saints?

[Wrath]

Don't you Lateralists realize that your beliefs are based on the imaginary centrifigul force!? Lateralism's phylogeny actually PROVES we are on a spinning earth!

It is the CENTRIPITAL force that keeps ordinary ionic objects attached to the ground, and it is that force which birds, planes and the like manage to sever, be it through evolution or noise.

We talked about this before: cars, boats, tides & rollerblades don't move! The earth spins under them as they toy with the centripital vector!!

Geeze.

[David B]

picmr said:
People PRAY in aeroplanes and give thanks when a safe landing is achieved. Precisely!

This is why we should not worry or cry when the occasional airplane crashes. It was obviously filled by atheists and demon-worshippers, or else it never would have happened.

[jab1]

I have even worse news for Gravitists: NASA is working on an anti-gravity machine! That proves that Satan created gravity! The works of Satan can be defeated, but not those of God!

(I'm not kidding, either. Read this story from Space.com. (http://www.space.com/businesstechnology/technology/anti_grav_000928.html) Science fiction doesn't always stay fictional. The work is being done in Huntsville, Alabama. Also, according to a story I read in the paper this morning, this device could be made to attract objects, meaning it could be used to generate a kind of artificial gravity. Jonathan Campbell of the Marshall Space Flight Center is quoted as saying "It does not modify gravity; rather it produces a gravity-like field that may be attractive or repulsive."

(The device uses a one-foot-diameter high-temperature superconducting disc. Physicist Ning Li says that, using one kilowatt of electricity, her device could produce a force field that would effectively neutralize gravity above a 1-foot-diameter region extending from the surface of the planet to outer space. I guess if it works to attract, it would also amplify gravity into space.

(It sounds like H.G. Wells' cavorite from his novel The First Men in the Moon. Another website maintained by Pete Skeggs, who says he is doing his own experiments, is even entitled "Quantum Cavorite." (http://inetarena.com/~noetic/pls/gravity.html))

[panache45]

I don't know about dinosaur puke, but I do know about cat puke...

Which is exactly what I was wearing the day I tried to get my 2 cats to orbit my body.

[tracer]

(jab1 wrote:)

(I'm not kidding, either. Read this story from Space.com. (http://www.space.com/businesstechnology/technology/anti_grav_000928.html)

(The device described in the article consists of a spinning superconductor floating above a magnet. Supposedly, anything suspended above the superconductor loses up to 2 percent of its weight -- at least according to Podkletnov, who did the original experiments. The NASA team, led by Koczor, built one of their own but, surprise surprise, were unable to duplicate Podkletnov's findings. And lo and behold, Larry Smalley, one of the project's big proponents, claims that Koczor's team wasn't competent enough to "give the project a serious chance," even though Koczor's team had worked with some of Smalley's peers.)

(And Koczor's comment to the "skeptics," as to why he even embarked on this fiasco to begin with, is particularly telling: "[They] don't seem to be amenable to observing that maybe the laws [of physics] are incomplete.")

(This has all the earmarks of the typical quack "anti-gravity" machine -- things that spin, a component (the floating superconductor) that seemingly "defies gravity" but really doesn't, and an effect only detectable in tiny amounts when it's "detected" at all. The only difference is that this time, NASA made the mistake of paying attention to it.)

[glee]

Wrath,

you make some good points:

- Don't you Lateralists realize that your beliefs are based on the imaginary centrifigul force!? Lateralism's phylogeny actually PROVES we are on a spinning earth!

- It is the CENTRIPITAL force that keeps ordinary ionic objects attached to the ground, and it is that force which birds, planes and the like manage to sever, be it through evolution or noise.

- We talked about this before: cars, boats, tides & rollerblades don't move! The earth spins under them as they toy with the centripital vector!!

But we believers of the true faith are not so easily swayed.
Don't you realise that CENTRIPITAL force is an invention of the unGodly? Since it's not very strong, it is just an example of (drum roll) CENTRIFRUGAL force!

[ps_harold]

Hrm..
I registered for this board because I was sent a link to this post. It's not really worth my replying to, but I am rather bored today and this post disturbs me.
I really hope this post is a joke.. could somebody reply to me here and clarify whether or not this is a serious post?
-somebody you don't know

[tomndebb]

ps_harold, you interrupt a very serious discussion to ask whether we are joking? I am astounded at your effrontery. If you wish to know whether we are serious, simply search this Forum for similar discussions regarding Creationism vs Evolution or other scientific discussions and compare the responses of any given author to those posted here. That will demonstrate exactly how serious we are.

[Palm Cove]

Originally posted by tomndebb
ps_harold, you interrupt a very serious discussion to ask whether we are joking? I am astounded at your effrontery.

Tomndebb:
I think you may be being a little hard on ps_harold (a first poster). Believe me, I was shocked to discover the existance of Creationists, when I first came to these boards, seriously shocked.

It could well be that he is "disturbed" by the very existance of Downists, or the fact that the theory of gravity is even under attack.

[glee]

ps_harold,

Welcome to the SDMB. :) Please don't take the following at all seriously (as already stated, have a look at other debates to see what's behind it all).





This is disturbing.
Hrm..
I landed on this post because I was using my Lateral skills. It's not really worth my replying to, but I am rather bored today and this post disturbs me.
I really hope this post is a joke.. could somebody reply to me here and clarify whether or not this is a serious post?
-somebody you don't know.

[ps_harold]

I see that much of this post is light hearted.. and by looking at other debates here I see that they are serious enough. What 'disturbs' me and leads me to think the contents of this post might not reflect the true beliefs of the people in it, is that nobody has defended gravity. I'm not shocked that such a thing as 'downism' exists.. but i'm shocked that it exists on a forum where someone could attempt to explain such a concept scientific-like and have nobody do the same for gravity. Or that you could question how birds fly, without somebody stepping up and explaining the concept of lift... and so on.
-somebody you might get to know later on

[hawthorne]

ps_harold, welcome. Don't worry, just about about everything in this thread has been humorously intended. I don't really think thr*st is a repulsive theory, my remarks were satirical. This thread seems to have been started about the time when this one (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=40767) was closed. You may read it as a satirical overflow of frustration at the sort of arguments confused and/ or dishonest creationists present. You may find these sorts of arguments here, but be assured they are never left unchallenged.

picmr

[Lemur866]

I don't know anything about Gravitism, since I'm not interested in it. But I know that it is false, because it doesn't make sense. How can gravity come from nothing? Anyway, I don't have time to learn any more about it, but ancient people didn't believe in it. Since they were closer to the time when things started to stick to the earth, shouldn't they know more about it than we do?

By the way, I am completely uninterested in Gravitism, since it isn't important. I just know it is false.

I just can't stand the hard-headed skeptical attitude of those scientists. They spend all their time with their proof, and their mathematics. Well, their so-called "Gravity", or as I like to call it, "gravy-tee" has killed more people than all the wild ostrich attacks put together in the last hundred years. Their gravity is monstrous and evil. Everyone knows that the Nazis and Communisists beleived in Gravity, in fact, they used their theory of gravity in the gulags. Without gravity the innocent victims could have floated over the prison walls. I hold Newton and his followers personally responsible for the godlessness of the 20th century.

And George Carlin, Whoopee Goldberg, and Tom Cruise don't believe in gravity. These are very smart people who have studied all the issues. If they don't beleive in gravity, there must be some reason. Why would they lie? Scientists lie, but why would actors and comedians? The establishment is against them because they don't have the same advanced degrees. Why haven't the scientists answered their critiques? The scientific cabal that controls science isn't interested in learning, they are merely trying to teach women to divorce their husbands, get abortions, practice witchcraft and become lesbians.

Thank God we have Tom, George and Whoopee to fight against them.

[edwino]

Down is Divine Creation from its beginning. Surely, when God created the heavens and the earth, His act of Separation caused the Earth to be Down. For the Lord divided the waters under the firmament from the waters above the firmament on the first day -- Genesis 1:7-9.

The word "Down" is used in the KJV 1131 times. Guess how many times the word gravity is used? 2, but not in the right context.

I need no other proof of Downness. And therefore, gravity must be the work of the devil.

Also, the search for I believe what the "scientists" call the "gravity force exchange boson" will only serve to give the Antichrist a foothold in our World. For, if you take the words "gravity force exhcange boson" and translate them into the original Aramaic, and translate the letters into numbers, and add up the numbers, guess what you get? 333. That is half the number of the beast. And you guessed these theories have each side exchanging one of these newfangled bosons, making 666. This proves that gravity is not only the work of Satan, but it is itself an manifestation of the Beast.

Repent!

[Alphagene]

hey alll im new here but i remememebered that i hear of this guy bwho thinks that you can slow th forces of grabity or evn stop gravitty totally using copper braicelets and magnetizd navelrings. woodn't that be kewl?>

his name is alex choo and hes got a websiite you should check it out it might we wortha lokk.

[Link deleted]

[Edited by Alphagene on 10-08-2000 at 04:09 PM]

[The Ryan]

If the Law of Gravity were actually a natural law, we would see it in nature, wouldn't we? But what is used as evidence for the Theory of Gravity? Galileo's dropping balls of different weights of a tower! Do balls of differing weights normally fall off towers? No! So how can this clearly unnatural event be used as evidence of a natural process? The fact that gravitists don't even see this flaw in their logic shows how wedded they are to their paradigm.

[ps_harold]

I would definately not use the Bible as proof of any theory, simply because you can't mix scientific method with blind faith. If I were to attempt to prove downism, I would bring up examples such as singularities and how gravity no longer works as a theory on a subatomic level. However this does not support downism.. rather simply disproves general relativity's description of gravity. How would one support downism in a scientific manner? One would have to say the 'down' is a different direction for every particle/object, because not every object moves strictly one direction. Objects change direction, so there must be forces that alter the object's 'down'.. then you jump right back into the world of more widely accepted physics. But of course.. things DO fall down.. I mean.. the center of the universe is much more massive then the earth or sun, and the gravity force carrier can travel over seemingly infinite distances, why don't I fall up? toward the sun of the center of the universe?
-ps harold
(if anyone doesn't know the answer to that question and wants to.. just ask)

[David B]

How do you know that the center of the universe is heavier than the sun or Earth? Have you weighed them, or are you just taking it on faith?!

[Eutychus]

ps_harold brings up an interesting implication. Since there is no "up" or "down" in outer space, I would like to propose a competing theory.

Upism.

[ps_harold]

Gravity allows us to 'weigh' the sun by observing the effects it has on the surrounding masses. There are also other methods of weighing the sun, but I can't think of them off the top of my head.
Gravity lets us hrm.. but you don't believe gravity..
The context I was using it in assumed truth in gravity for the sake of arguing (against?) it. Either way this argument won't change the way I fall down.. so why should I care if what I think is down is really up?
PS_harold, gravitist by faith and science as well

[David B]

Eutychus: Of course there is up and down in outer space! You just don't believe in Downism, and that's why you are saying such ridiculous things!

Meanwhile, ps_harold said:
Gravity allows us to 'weigh' the sun by observing the effects it has on the surrounding masses. There are also other methods of weighing the sun, but I can't think of them off the top of my head. Ha! So you are trying to use your conclusion (gravity) to "prove" your claim. That, my boy, is circular reasoning, and will not be tolerated here! The only way to weigh the sun is with a scale. Don't try to get around it!
The context I was using it in assumed truth in gravity for the sake of arguing (against?) it. Sure, like I said. You assumed the truth of gravity. Must be nice. Who knows what you'll be assuming next!
Either way this argument won't change the way I fall down.. so why should I care if what I think is down is really up? How do you know it won't change the way you fall down? I suggest an experiment in which you fall off of increasingly large buildings, checking to make sure that you fall down each time. Report back to me with your findings, and then we'll talk.

[Freyr]

ps_harold wrote:

I would definately not use the Bible as proof of any theory, simply because you can't mix scientific method with blind faith.

Harold, Harold, Harold, you just don't understand!

You seen, Downism is true, it's the ultimate Truth! It's all based on the Holy Book. The Holy Book is the EXACT WORDS of the Divine One. How do I know this to be true? It say so, right here in the Holy Book. You can't get any plainer than that! The Divine One has spoken and told us, thru the Holy Book, how the world operates.

Anything else is the work of the Great Invisible Boogey Man who tests our faith in the Divine One by spreading all these false "theories" about gravity and other nonsense. And if you don't believe me, go outside and look. It's very obvious that the world doesn't move. It's the center of the Universe and everything else goes around it. How can you deny that!? Do you feel the earth move? No. Do you see the stars and those "planets" move? Yes. Therefore it's obvious, Downism is the correct way to view the world. It's all part of the Divine One's plan.

You need to read the many wonderful papers by Jack Chickpea who can explain it in very simply language. And the artwork that he uses to illustrate his points, oh Jack is a very talented man. And all of his papers are bases on the Holy Book, so they HAVE to be true.

[Kyberneticist]

Originally posted by Mauve Dog
Forgive me for interrupting in a thread where I clearly have no knowledge of the principles involved, but...

I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I'll see if I can find the cite...). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, per se. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object.

Have I completely misinterpreted this idea?


The citation you are looking for is from a questionable author by the name of Douglas Adams, but nonetheless shows that even such heathens needs must concede Downist principles.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying.
There is an art, it says, or rather a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
Clearly, it's the second point, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal.
Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.
This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float, float and bob.
Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of, "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!"
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher.
Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
Do not wave at anybody.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.
You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your manoeuvrability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.
You will also learn how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt.
There are private flying clubs you can join which help you achieve the all-important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or explain them at the crucial moments. Few genuine hitch-hikers will be able to afford to join these clubs, but some may be able to get temporary employment at them.



*note: I wanted to quote the entire Guide entry on the subject of flying, but it is rather long. If some moderator feels that it is flirting dangerously with the edges of fair use, feel free to trim it.

[Tristan]

Many of you seem to have forgotten the one true rule of the universe.... the reason we don't fly off of this flat plate, that extends infinitly in all directions, is the simple fact that Grhgtrhoshtoeohg doesn't want us to.
The ancient people worshipped Grhgtrhoshtoeohg but that worship was put down by the early Gravitists and Downists. Worship of Grhgtrhoshtoeohg continued, but in quiet... now the tenents of the old faith can be open, but we must be careful, as the Downists and the Gravitists would like to start burning us again...

And I know that I'm right, cause I read it in a book from a musty old book store, with lots of old books in it, and my mom and grandma were all practicing Grhgtrhoshtoeohgites

[kabbes]

Much as I think the addition of a poor ol' naive newbie has been hilarious, in the interests of fightin' ignorance an' all that:

harold - noone here believes in 'Downism'. There is no such belief as 'Downism'. This thread has sprung up to satirically parallel the arguments, epigrams, incorrect assumptions and misunderstanding that Creationists and other such animals use. Some of those posting in this thread to support Downism have advanced degrees in physics. They are taking the piss*.

I have no doubt that this post will be followed by the jeers of those who wanted to continue the joke and by the shocked posts of those who can't believe that anyone would suggest that Downism isn't true. To these people I can only say, "Gentlemen - I salute you". Please return to your exciting cross-exhange of ideas.

But my guilt-o-meter was beginning to twinge.

pan

*To use a phrase that 98% of Americans won't know. It means that they are pulling your leg.

[David B]

kabbes said:
harold - noone here believes in 'Downism'. There is no such belief as 'Downism'.Heretic! People have been burned at the stake for suggesting less than this. You're just lucky we live in a time when that isn't allowed anymore -- though I wish the government were more enlightened about it and just let us do our necessary work!
I have no doubt that this post will be followed by the jeers of those who wanted to continue the joke and by the shocked posts of those who can't believe that anyone would suggest that Downism isn't true. This is no joke, man! But that was a nice try -- acting like any objections to your message were less than serious, and thus trying to get away with your claims. Did you really think we'd let you off so easily?

[glee]

Kabbes,

I think ps_harold HAS caught on.
He posted 'I would definitely not use the Bible as proof of any theory, simply because you can't mix scientific method with blind faith.'

Sounds sound to me.
Am I right, ps_harold?

And to keep the thread going (I loved Guy Stuff :D ):

'Some of those posting in this thread to support Downism have advanced degrees in physics.'

Are you taking qualifications over evidence? :( I see hot-air balloons * moving sideways in the air. This is why I'm a Lateralist. Even though I don't have a physics qualification...



* as someone said earlier, who'd use a cold-air balloon?

[Rysdad]

Originally posted by tomndebb

Too many Gravitists haven taken this lightly. Now our children are being threatened with ignorance as one state after another considers bill requiring that Scientific Downism be taught in the schools. This charade must stop. Stand up to Downism!

Beware the Antigrav, for although he appeareth normal and weighted as of a man, verily doth he float and spread lies, innuendo and bad things! Lo, worship not the false idol of Uppityness, for that which risith must also cometh down. Forsooth." Limbaugh 2:25

It's all there in scripture, ya just gotta read.

[ps_harold]

Holy crap, there is NO downism? I refuse to believe it.. if i believe that I will surely end up falling into the center of the galaxy, and surely that would be bad.

I also think any satire of this nature is incomplete unless you include an argument with someone who is a non-believer and how his arguments are responded to :)
ps_harold, converted gravitist

(of course i knew this post was a joke after the first reply to it, however the manner in which the posts were so convincingly stated and so close to how extreme creationist might attmept to prove a theory such as 'downism' made me wonder if I was simply in a room full of idiots who knew how to write.. I was leaning towards the other explaination though)

[Palm Cove]

Originally posted by ps_harold

(of course i knew this post was a joke after the first reply


Although I am convinced by the constantly evolving gravatist theory, in fact some have called me a "fundamentalist gravatist, You should not take downism or its followers as a joke.

You will at least draw the ire of David B, who although IMHO is misguided on this, issue is no fool.

In order to fight ignorance it is not sufficient to be simply dismissive and hope downism just become eztinct.

Downist power structures have been arround for many generations and their leaders do not wish to loose the power they have over their congregations, even when their claims are shown as bogus. If they loose their flock, they loose their income stream.

[edwino]

Originally posted by ps_harold
Holy crap, there is NO downism? I refuse to believe it.. if i believe that I will surely end up falling into the center of the galaxy, and surely that would be bad.


*sigh*

The earth is the center of the galaxy.

You can't fall into the center of the galaxy, if you are already standing on its surface.

The Supreme Being created the heavens above, and the earth below.

This is the core tenet of Downism. At least Fundamentalist Downism, of which I am a subscriber.

Those who accept that the Great One descended into death for the Downness of all who will come after him will be guaranteed a place in heaven above.

But the Great One descended for the Downness of all humanity, even for those who do not accept him, is the reason you don't go floating off into space.

[C K Dexter Haven]

Downism has caught on so well, I'm inclined to think I should patent it or copyright it or trademark it or register it, or whatever one does with a new concept.

Maybe I can quit my day job and go on TV as a televangelist? Would thousands of lonely people send me money, to support Downism?

But, I have to say, that replacing (ahem) gravity with levity has always been one of my fundamental wossnames.

[glee]

CKDextHavn,

de Bono made money out of Lateral thinking....

[kabbes]

David B chided me thus:
This is no joke, man! But that was a nice try -- acting like any objections to your message were less than serious, and thus trying to get away with your claims. Did you really think we'd let you off so easily? [/B]

Hah! Next you'll be telling me that those Christians are serious!

Chortlevirginbirthchortle. Now that's a well constructed joke :D.

pan

[newcrasher]

When I was 21, I found a number of heavenly bodies were attracted to me. Now that years have passed, I have acquired more mass to my form and have found that, contrary to what Newton would have us believe, heavenly bodies seem to be repulsed. In fact they are repulsed at the rate of my mass increase squared (approx.).

An odd footnote....the heavenly bodies that are still attracted to me seem to be of similar or greater mass than myself.

[City Gent]

DID ANY ONE SEE THE FOX TV SPECIAL STARING CHARLTON HESTON WHERE HE SHOWS HOW GRAVITY IS BECAUSE OF SIN. THEY ECXAVATED MANY ANCIENT SCROLLS AND SCRIPTUERS HERE IS A EXAMPLE

"And lo, Shem-bethuel did displease the LORD, and the LORD smote him and fixed his feet fast to the soil. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth." - III John 3:31

I CAN PUT UP SOME INTRERSTING LINKS IF ANY ONE IS INTERSTED.

[elucidator]

I believe the post regarding the experimental use of cats has made an unfortunate experimental error. Correctly done, the experiment will reveal the primacy of the lateral force over the down force

Step 1: Sieze the cat (firmly) by the tail, and begin whirling it about above your head. (Should this first step prove difficult, try administering approx. 2 CC's of sodium pentothol. To the cat.)

Step 2, Once maximum lateral force as been achieved, release the cat. Note that the cat flys away first, not down! Only after lateral force has diminished can the cat's natural desire to be in direct contact with the surface come into play. Potential lateral force is then stored in the mass of the cat.

Step 3. Observe. When the cat reaches the surface, it will invariably move away from you at a high rate of speed, thus potential lateralist force becomes active. If the gravitists were right, the cat would remain fixed in its location, and you could repeat the experiment. But, aww contrary, the build up of potential lateralist force is such that the cat will move away with blinding speed should you even so much as take one step in its direction!

Q.E.D.

[questor]

I've been lurkin here and noticed you guys are ALL wrong...
You can't see the barn for the cows!
?Hey, was that a cat that just flew by?

It's not Gravist or Downist, or Uppist for that matter...
it's Sideways, man. See it? Sideways!! Its so simple! Sideways!
Say it with me.... see? It's Sideways!

Ahhh forget it.

[Alan Smithee]

my bible says:And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein;
The owner of the pit shall make it good, and give money unto the owner of them; and the dead beast shall be his.
Exodus 21:33-34

See, even in bible times, they knew that things fall. and that was beforr they knew about gravety, so it cant be becase of gravety that we know things fall, So there must be some other expination like maybe GOD said so.

[Captain Amazing]

Well, I for one am shocked that they teach this "theory" of gravity to children in public schools. Why should my tax dollars go to pay for the indoctrination of children in this atheistic, secular humanistic, unproven "theory". This is an attack on my religious beliefs, and I won't stand for it. At the least, the schools should also teach Downism, or as I prefer to call it, THE TRUTH!

[Ivorybill]

Arghhhh.... That sound you hear is my head banging the keyboard.

It's sink and float people! Sink and float!

We know that the atmosphere is composed of liquids in their gaseous state. Ergo, planes, birds, bugs, bats, and those cute little flying squirrells FLOAT in the atmosphere, much as boats, ships, surfboards, and tennis shoes (judging by what washes up on our local beach) FLOAT on the water.

When their float-o-dynamics are altered, planes, birds, bugs, bats, boats, etc. SINK to the bottom of the atmosphere or lake or ocean. Those of us on dry land, of course, have sunk about as far as we can go (evidence courtesy of Mssrs. Gore and Bush).

Sheesh.

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

[Ivorybill]

Hey! That should have had a sig file!

[wayward]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!
Why are you all so stupid? There is no "gravity". There is no "down". There is no "sideways". These are all part of a conspiracy made up by an evil satanic group conisisting of the government, the masons and the aliens who are all Jews and most likely homosexual.
Things only stick to the ground because of the weight of air pushing down on top of them.

[jab1]

Originally posted by Chicken Lover
Things only stick to the ground because of the weight of air pushing down on top of them.Air doesn't have weight! If it did, you could feel it on top of you!

Besides, what keeps the air on the ground? What's holding IT down?

[Sterra]

This thread begs the question "Why am I not in IMHO".

As for gravity, feh. All things are simply a illusion because we are put in a evil computer called "Napster"

[Rysdad]

If, ya know, like there ain't no, um, gravity, then like, how come the neatest bands are called "heavy" and stuff? I already know that, like, metal is heavy, but when there's a band, say, and they're like really hard, kick ass rockers, then they play, you know, heavy metal. So that means there's gravity because that downism stuff would be, um, like a downer, and that ain't cool.

[Gollum]

I dont subscribe to 'Downism', 'gravitism','upism' 'lateralism', 'sidewayism', 'suckism' or any of the other fallacies. NO! i say. These may be the works of the creator, but they are a misguided truth. I believe that the natural attraction of all humans to Our Dark Master in the center of the earth is what keeps us all fixed on this sphere. Anton Le Vey wrote something about it. See, because we are all impure we are repulsed from the presence of god, and welcomed into the presence of the Devil(tm).
I dont mean to force my beliefs on you but you downists are all in for a rude shock when the final conflict emerges. Im going to go sacrifice more chickens, so that the great one grants me power and stuff.

[bagkitty]

Originally posted by RickJay


I've always wondered this. If the Moon, which is one-sixth the mass of the Earth, orits the Earth, why isn't my monitor whirling around me? (This, I am sure everyone would agree, would be really cool.)
[/B]

Not if you started experiencing tidal forces.

[wayward]

Originally posted by jab1
Originally posted by Chicken Lover
Things only stick to the ground because of the weight of air pushing down on top of them.Air doesn't have weight! If it did, you could feel it on top of you!

Besides, what keeps the air on the ground? What's holding IT down?

Of course air has weight. You just don't feel it because you've lived with it all your life. And air is pulled to the ground because... of... the.... Look over there! A badger with a gun!

::Runs away::

[Astroboy14]

Oh, PUHLEEEEEEEZE!!!

And I lower myself to treat with you people on matters of great importance?

Things stick to the ground because it is DOWN!!! Look for yourself!

It is down! That's why everything falls there!!

Sheesh! :rolleyes:

Now I'm stuck, because you fools got me addicted to message boards before I found out what a bunch of morons you actually are! Maybe I can strike up an intelligent conversation in Yahoo chat...

[Phobos]

It's the iron in our bodies being magnetically attracted to the Earth's iron core.

As for everything else, it's all irrelevant to a Great Debate because humans are the center of the universe.

[erislover]

Boy, there sure are a lot of fundies in here. I subscribe to what many call the "weak downism" idea. Strong downists have to believe that all things fall down, and Gravitists think all things are pulled toward all other things. I think the monitor NOT orbiting the average computer user is enough evidence of that, but the downists have something going for them.

The problem, of course, as has been mentioned, is the whole flying bit. Downists have a terribly hard time with flying. That's why when I found Weak Downism I knew for sure it had to be right.

The core of Weak Downism is that things fall, but they don't have to. The "missing the ground" analogy is quite apt, but it also fails to take into account why birds always fly forward, or some reasonable approximation of it.

We all know, of course, that downism is the prevailing theory. But birds have an ability to fall, as I've said, forward. There are many tests going on right now trying to show that right now there are actually a "downish" force and a "forwardish" force, but that earlier in the evolution of life on this planet they were actually the same force and only after a certian point was reached did the two break apart. Truly, we have some personal evidence of the forwardish force; you know how hard it is to walk backwards?

It's a terribly interesting theory, but I've been having a hard time explaining the symmetry of downish and forwardish (some call it sideways, but that's a little exaggerated). Does anyone have any links for this?

[Captain Amazing]

There is no flight...flight is an illusion. There is of course, gliding, but as we all know, "What goes up MUST come down".

[Phobos]

I recently read an article that disproves everything everyone has said here. But I forget what the reference is. But take my word for it anyway because I'm right.

[Dijon Warlock]

I agree.

[bagkitty]

Originally posted by Phobos

As for everything else, it's all irrelevant to a Great Debate because humans are the center of the universe. [/B]

Phobos: I hate to disagree with you (not), but it is already crowded enough here at the centre of the universe with me and all these damn cats. Don't be dragging all the humans here too!!!

[Rysdad]

Originally posted by bagkitty
Phobos: I hate to disagree with you (not), but it is already crowded enough here at the centre of the universe with me and all these damn cats. [/B]

Oh, good. Test subjects. We'll use 'em this weekend when we all gather to settle this debate once and for all...at the Golden Gate Bridge.

[elucidator]

Gravitist theory claims we are drawn by thier mysterious "force" (Oh, yeah, its the "force", sure, you bet) toward the center of the Earth. However, if you read thier so-called "textbooks" they further aver that once you arrive at the center of the Earth, that "force" doesn't operate because you're at the center! (cite:My Big Golden Book of Science, Bird, et al.) Que'elle croque du merde, as Sarte once said.

If there is no "gravity force" at the center of the earth, then all the "gravity force" above it will pull the Earth inside out!!! like the eyelids of that creepy kid at school who used to lick his arm and then smell it. You know the one.

[Fogglethorpe]

Dexter, I don't think your theory carries any weight scientifically, but I do think you're a very down to earth person.

[cptredion]

I am getting tired of these so called scientific principles being discussed as truths. I can feel myself being "forced" (you can't prove if it's pushed or pulled) towards the ground (I resent the assumption that the ground is down).
My experience has led me to believe that the Earth IS round and spinning and that we are being pushed up towards it as we are standing on the Earth's inner surface.

Anyone who disagrees is a moron.

[Ace_Face]

I once had a girlfriend who wasn't a Downist, but she expected me to be a Downist once or twice a night. Hypocrite.

[Phobos]

...a year later and I'm still right about this (I'm still looking for that reference though)...

[71-Hour Achmed]

Originally posted by tomndebb
All right. If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? Gravity provides a clear explanation of Flight using the principle of Static Gravity, which, when one overcomes it, allows one to go Up.

Nothing in the (faith based) speculations of Downism can accurately explain why anything is allowed to go Up. [...] If left to the politics of the Downists, the Wright brothers would have spent their final years in prison for having the temerity to demonstrate that one can overcome gravity (which the Downists refuse to even recognize as a force).


You people have clearly never studied the Kadownah. The fundamental principle behind flight is that the things which fly are forcing other things down faster. This results in a net up force on the flying object, but when considered as a whole, the entire system is moving down as required in an orderly universe.

Watch a bat or bird. Its wings force other things down as the bird or bat is forced up. An airplane uses fuel (the fractions of which are likely pterodactyl-derived, IMHO) to force other things down as it in turn forces itself up.

Observe the ungainly helicopter: when it stops forcing air down, the helicopter itself drops like the steel brick that it is.

The Wrights merely studied the ancient truths and had the luck and timing to be around at a time when power-to-weight ratios had dropped enough to allow sufficient Downthrust to be generated to slip the bonds of Earth and touch the sky.

This is not magic, it is simply the practical verification of Downism in our daily lives. Open your eyes!

[WhiteRaven]

Originally posted by pantom
CKDextHavn:


<< Why do they call it the "law" of gravity, like it's been proven? You can't see gravity, can you? Huh? Huh? Can you? >>

Well, the Indiana state legislature (along with its law that pi = 3) also passed a bill enforcing gravity, hence the ... um ... law of gravity. However, it's only operative in Indiana.


Didn't you mean Kansas? Or did I miss something?



Of course not, if gravity was a law in kansas, Dorthy's house would never had gotten off the ground..think before you post these things!!

Sheesh

[SterlingNorth]

Originally posted by 71-Hour Achmed
You people have clearly never studied the Kadownah. The fundamental principle behind flight is that the things which fly are forcing other things down faster. This results in a net up force on the flying object, but when considered as a whole, the entire system is moving down as required in an orderly universe.

Watch a bat or bird. Its wings force other things down as the bird or bat is forced up. An airplane uses fuel (the fractions of which are likely pterodactyl-derived, IMHO) to force other things down as it in turn forces itself up.

Observe the ungainly helicopter: when it stops forcing air down, the helicopter itself drops like the steel brick that it is.
[And assorted Kadoweenie mishmash]

Sad, sad indeed. Another sucker of the Kadownah crock. Did they make you pay, for that misinformation?

Everybody knows that airplane propellers and jets don't point down. Therefore, they can't be forcing nothing down.
Sheesh, our educational system is in taters.

Or course, our overreliance on the aircraft is causing dire climate changes. Their used to be a day where families could live their lives in peace in the moble home. Now not a day goes by where some trailer park somewhere isn't hit by a tornado or huricane or a typhoon. These planes are destroying our way of life.
Like my mom said, "If God meant for us to fly in jets, He'd strap turbines to our asses. They we'd could fart our way to LA if we wish."

But then, this ain't got nothing to to with the scam of Gravity.

[C K Dexter Haven]

<< Sheesh, our educational system is in taters >>

You mean the whole educational system has moved to Idaho?
Or, if the entire educational system was standard, tepid, ordinary, it would be a commen-tator?

OK, I'm leaving now, I saw what happened the last time I started something.