Men going shopping

[ShiefferSaw]

I was out looking for a birthday (16) gift for my sister yesterday. I was looking to get her a nice outfit and not somthing from those younger stores. I ended up going to Lord and taylor and I found out that they have a pretty good men's department. Did anyone know that? I thought lord and taylor was more of a women's store. I ended up shopping more for myself than for her. Now I'm still looking for a present! :smack:

[Cyn]

I assumed they had a men's dept, like Macy's does...
What I didn't know was that there are men who shop for something they didn't go to buy in the first place. When Drachillix is shopping, it's like a quest. He needs Reeboks. We go to the shoe dept and pick up Reeboks in his size. I wander to the lingerie, dresses, jewlery, but he has fulfilled his quest. He's Done.
He has triumped. He can now leave.

[Rigamarole]

I assumed they had a men's dept, like Macy's does...
What I didn't know was that there are men who shop for something they didn't go to buy in the first place. When Drachillix is shopping, it's like a quest. He needs Reeboks. We go to the shoe dept and pick up Reeboks in his size. I wander to the lingerie, dresses, jewlery, but he has fulfilled his quest. He's Done.
He has triumped. He can now leave.

For me it's like this - I hate to wander aimlessly, and I'm not going to go in unless there's something at least fairly specific that I want/need, but if, while I am ON THE WAY to my quest something happens to catch my eye by fate that looks really interesting but I was not intending to buy, I might buy it anyway. Then I convince myself that it was meant to be, and feel content.

[Elen_Luyddog]

All men need to realize: It is ok to look. I think it is great that you have discovered the joy of shopping for yourself. If all men were like you, women would not be snickering at men's clothing.

[Beware of Doug]

A million women can snicker, but we'll happily put up with that as long as there isn't the remotest chance that even one man is going to purse his lips, wolf-whistle and say "hello sailor!"

[gonzomax]

Went to a shoe store with my wife. He says what do you want. Told him the ones in the window. He checked size came back and said he didn't have them my size. I said what do you have close. He brought out a pair they fit and I bought them. My wife was disgusted by what I did. I still do not know why.

[Leaffan]

See, if I need something, I go to the store and buy it. That's it. I've never in my entire life bought anything on a whim while looking for something else. I figure out ahead of time where to buy, and I go there. In the odd occasion where my size or preference isn't immediately available I go to my alternate store.

Come to think of it, I get haircuts the same way; you're busy? Ok I'll go to the other hair cut place. Bye.

[Ellen Cherry]

My husband is a Mighty Hunter Shopper. His primal instincts are activated when he's on a Quest for the Lowest Price. He has a thousand antenna out at all times, a thousand "lowest price he's seen onlines" in his head.

The Mighty Hunter Shopper will not be defeated! He will provide high quality goods at bargain prices for his family! Grrnnunpf!

:)

[vetbridge]

I spent a few hours Sunday shopping with my 16 year old daughter. She had purchased a dress for a Prom-like dance and needed to accessorize. We had a blast.

[Lamar Mundane]

I used to be a blinder shopper, too. Knew what I needed, went to the store, walked to the department, got my stuff, paid and left.

But then they built a Nordstrom Rack nearby. It's about 80% womens stuff, but in the farthest corner away from the entrance is the mens department. The men's end of the shoe section is on that end of the store, too.

Now I wait until I have a couple hundred dollars to spare and I'll go spend an hour or so in the store. Me and about six other guys. I'd say I buy about 75% of my clothes at Nordstrom Rack. Maybe more. Prices are similar to Kohl's or other mid-level clothing stores, definately less on most things than your more upscale department stores.

I never thought I'd say this, but I really like shopping there.

[Dinsdale]

Add another guy who hates to shop - and doesn't really care what he looks like. My wife has to look at me, so she is nice and generally buys most of my clothes. her doing the shopping may well be the aspect I appreciate most about receiving gifts from her on my birthday and such.

I posted another lame thread below, about having trouble finding pants in my size and the style I wanted. I wrote down all the info about a pair of pants I own that fit fine. Walked into the large department store expecting it to be a 5-minute chore. Left 1/2 hour later mildly exasperated, and with 3 pair that were pleated and cuffed instead of the flatfront, no cuffs I preferred. Like I said, I don't really care what I look like.

Since they didn't have the brand I wanted in my size and style, I had to try on maybe 10 different brands spread all over the store, and try to figure out if I cared about the little things that were different about them.

I remember about a year ago I was shopping for a pair of navy blue casual pants. Went to 2 stores and was told that navy "was not in" that year. WTF?! Sorry, folks, but there are few things more basic to a guy's wardrobe than navy blue pants.

[vetbridge]

The last time I was shopping for clothes for me, my gf was footing the bill as a thank you for veterinary services given to a relative. We picked out clothes, and she walked with me toward a dressing room. And followed me right in. We didn't do anything that would require a HazMat cleanup, but we had fun. It was a slow time for the store (weeknight) and there were a coupla giggling employees to greet us when we emerged.

Clothes shopping can be fun.

[Zsofia]

Oh, my boyfriend loves to shop. Only at thrift shops, though. He's kind of a fop, likes his vests and bow ties. I can't ever find anything at all I like in Goodwill - he can spend fifteen minutes and ten bucks there and have three bags of stuff to haul off to the car.

[Antinor01]

I don't like shopping for myself, especially clothes. I usually only go when I need a specific item or items, find them and I'm done. About the only shopping I enjoy just browsing is when I'm looking at things for the home. Throw pillows, nice glassware and the like.

On the other hand, I do like shopping for other people. One of my girlfriends HATES to shop. She will try on no more than 3 things during a shopping trip and if it takes more than about 15 minutes to find something acceptable, she will leave. I have a blast shopping for her because it's kind of like having a doll to dress. (she is absolutely beautiful, 5'10" with dancers legs and looks good in everything) I have a great eye for what looks good on people and she totally trusts my judgement.

[Push You Down]

I'm actually a shopper shopper. I went to Target yesterday.. just cuz. I looked at clothes. I tried on a polo shirt that I kind of liked. I decided that I didn't look too much like a prep in it so I bought it. I also tried on a pair of jeans (woohooo, I went down a size and finally will have pants that fit.) and I never try on pants at the store.

[Spatial Rift 47]

Men don't go shopping. They go buying. In, purchase, out, done. End of story.

[enigm4tic]

she walked with me toward a dressing room. And followed me right in. We didn't do anything that would require a HazMat cleanup
reminds me of a time that...well..may have required a HazMat with a girlfriend in a fitting room.

Annnnyways. A lot of the guys I hang out with have no problem with going to shop for unspecified items. Hell, I need to go randomly shopping right now. Sure, I need some sort of shorts, and a couple shirts, and I have a couple hundred dollars to spend, but other than that, no guidance at all. Of course, I may have a skewed sample set since I live with frat boys who tend to pay more attention to that sort of stuff, but trust me you're not alone in just going to shop as a male and seeing what you end up with.

[wolfman]

I like to shop, and look at things. But only for the things that really matter like Sound Cards, dvd players, or vibrating recliners with built in fridge, speakers and deep fryer. The options and the varibles on those purchases directly effects my happiness. But for clothes or shoes? hell no. If it's physically possible to put it on the correct anatomical part, ie. it has the right number of arm and leg holes, then it's perfect, and time to go.

[ScareyFaerie]

'im indoors appears to know exactly what he wants and almost exclusively buys stuff from the same store. I've tried to get him to consider other places but he just won't have it. As long as that store sells stuff in his size and of the right colour/quality, he won't go anywhere else.

At least it makes shopping with him a blissfully short experience!

[Nava]

Middlebro is dressed by SiL. This wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't because clothes used to be a prefectly acceptable gift for him and now they aren't. She discovered he did like fantasy/scifi/rpg/action stuff/movies when they'd already been married for two years (plus seven of courtship), when Lilbro bought him a LoTR tee for Christmas. Her reaction to any mention of That Stuff had been violent rejection, so he'd labeled it quite early in their relationship as Do Not Mention.

Lilbro knows what he likes, but every time he decides to Go Shopping, he also tries to Widen His Horizons and returns to the Lilcave with at least one item definitely different from his previous wardrobe (not unmatchably different, though). He thinks it may Help With Girls, given that sometimes he's obtained Compliments from said prey.

[Dung Beetle]

'im indoors
I always get a kick out of you saying that, Faerie!

If it's not too much of a hijack, why are there so many guys in here (and out there) who don't really care what they look like? There's a big difference in "This is a great color and style" and "Well, it's got the right number of arm and/or leg holes..."

[BlackKnight]

I don't like going shopping. It's a chore. It's something that has to be done, but I don't enjoy it. The exception to this is when I go shopping for books. Books are to me what shoes are to stereotypical women. I could live in a Barnes & Noble.

[Eleanor of Aquitaine]

I'm always amazed that my husband will take a grocery list to the store and come home with exactly what's on his list - no more, no less. I've never in my life been to the grocery store where I didn't look around and remember that, oh, we need more ketchup, and pick up several things in addition to what's on my list.

[Dinsdale]

If it's not too much of a hijack, why are there so many guys in here (and out there) who don't really care what they look like? There's a big difference in "This is a great color and style" and "Well, it's got the right number of arm and/or leg holes..."

I dunno. I mean, I like my person and my clothes to be clean. And as a general rule, I guess I'd like my clothes to fit reasonably well. But I'm far more interested in comfort than appearance.

I think one thing for me is that I don't think of myself as someone other people are "checking out." And in my work or on the golf course, I'm fine with letting my performance/ability speak for itself, rather than trying to make an impression through my appearance.

And in my 40s and married for 20 years, I have a few good friends and am not concerned with making more based on my appearance. If they come through my activities and associations, well - fine.

For example, take my hair. I generally just run a brush through it while it is wet, often without even looking in a mirror. Sometimes I am a bit surprised later on to notice how crappy it looks, but I really don't care since I'm not interested in impressing anyone. Maybe it is a sign of low self-esteem? I dunno.

Other than my wife. As I said, she has to look at me a heck of a lot more than I have to look in a mirror. So if she prefers my hair to be styled a certain way or for me to wear certain shirts with certain slacks, I'm glad to do it. And if she buys me clothes, I'll wear them (so long as they are comfortable).

On the flip side, I'm often a mite - um - suspicious/critical? of guys who appear to put a lot of effort into their appearance. You know - wearing clothes that are clearly purchased as "an outfit", their hair always perfect. I don't know why. But it just doesn't seem right that a guy should put that much effort into how he looks.

This is a weird aspect, but part of it may be related to "competition." In general, I consider myself pretty noncompetitive. I don't want/need to do better than anyone else - I'd just as soon everyone succeed and be happy.

Having said that, I used to do a lot of martial arts, and I remain in pretty decent shape. As far as male "competition" goes, I'm very comfortable that in a physical confrontation I could handle the vast majority of people I meet, regardless of their age or size. So being comfortable of my ability to succeed at that basest level, it seems a little silly to be "competitive" over appearance or other silly macho things.

Not saying any of the above is rational or desireable - just trying to respond to your question.

Here's something my buddy and I were talking about while running yesterday - whether women check out men anywhere near the amount men check out women. We both said that as far as we knew, no woman had ever "taken a second look" towards either of us. Now, we aren't movie stars and are in our mid-40s, but we are reasonably fit and aren't exactly trolls. Wherever we rate in terms of guys - maybe 5-7?, I guarantee that I check out every woman under the age of 60 who is average or better in appearance. While I have done so for the past decades, not once did I notice a woman checking me out.

So what's the word, girls? Are you just a heck of a lot more subtle in checking out guys, or do you set your standards a whole heck of a lot higher than us average joes?

[D_Odds]

The only time I browse is when I'm shopping with Mrs. and Li'l D_Odds - I need some way to fill the time. Even then, my browsing is done in 1/4 the time.

[Dung Beetle]

Mid-forties, reasonably fit? Oh, they're lookin'. Trust me.

I was thinking about my own question, and the answer I came up with was: There is so much less variation in mens' clothing than women's, that there really isn't very much to think about. I do still wonder why men are stereotypically not interested in their own appearance, though...first impressions and all that.

[descamisado]

I used to be a blinder shopper, too. Knew what I needed, went to the store, walked to the department, got my stuff, paid and left.

But then they built a Nordstrom Rack nearby. It's about 80% womens stuff, but in the farthest corner away from the entrance is the mens department. The men's end of the shoe section is on that end of the store, too.

Now I wait until I have a couple hundred dollars to spare and I'll go spend an hour or so in the store. Me and about six other guys. I'd say I buy about 75% of my clothes at Nordstrom Rack. Maybe more. Prices are similar to Kohl's or other mid-level clothing stores, definately less on most things than your more upscale department stores.

I never thought I'd say this, but I really like shopping there.Could you pick me up a pair of black, lace-up Oxfords and a pair of brown shoes (anything), size 8.5? Thanks. I'll pay you 20% of the total of the sale, plus $20/hr.

This year, for the third winter in a row, I needed a new coat. I went to Burlington Coat Factory, found a black down coat, priced at $60.00. I bought it and left. In and out in 10 minutes.

So what if I needed a medium and it's a large. I found it fast and the price was right; I was done.

P.S. If I could have the fun shopping that Vetbridge does, I'd go more often.

[JohnT]

All men need to realize: It is ok to look.

Huh. When I tried that reasoning with her about my wandering eye, it didn't work.

... oh, you meant "look at clothes."

;)

[Beware of Doug]

Is it because you find it:

a) Boring?
b) Confusing or frustrating?
c) Uncomfortably unmanly?

[Antinor01]

Is it because you find it:

a) Boring?
b) Confusing or frustrating?
c) Uncomfortably unmanly?

mostly A. But over the last few years, I would add a D at least when it comes to clothes. I've put on some weight and really hate the size I have to wear. Shopping for new clothes in that larger size grates on my nerves.

[D_Odds]

mostly A. But over the last few years, I would add a D at least when it comes to clothes. I've put on some weight and really hate the size I have to wear. Shopping for new clothes in that larger size grates on my nerves.
Bingo. Boring and depressing.

[Gangster Octopus]

I think there needs to be calrification. Men don't go shopping for clothes, in the sense they don't go to browse with only a vague idea about what they want.

However, get a man in a Best Buy type store (yes, I know many folks hate them), bookstore, hardware store, and they shop just like the

[Dinsdale]

Mostly B for me.

Basically, I have pretty simple preferences in clothes. I care nothing about current "styles" and prefer more traditional styles that will last a long time. A couple of pair of nice and older jeans in black and blue (relaxed fit Levis), a few pair of casual pants and shorts in black, blue, and navy. And then some short and long sleeved button up and golf shirts to go with them.

So I don't care if the pro golfers are wearing mock turtlenecks, or shirts with zippers. I'm just fine with the traditional golf shirt with 3 or so buttons.

What drives me nuts is going into a store to buy a simple item like navy casual pants, to be told "Oh, navy isn't in this year." Well those blue slacks aren't going to match all of the shirts I already have, and I'm not about to buy a bunch of new shirts just to go with whatever shade of blue you feel is currently in style.

I also lack a good sense of what goes together, and I dislike the idea of having a shirt and slacks that only go with each other. Feels like a kid's "outfit" - Garanimals or somesuch.

My wife is adamant that some shirts only go with black jeans, not blue. Strikes me as crazy. I mean, doesn't EVERYTHING go with blue jeans? She'll say something doesn't match and I simply don't see it. But over the years I know what she says goes with what, and I try my best to dress accordingly. She tossed all of my Hawaiin shirts, which is fine with me as long as she replaced them with something just as comfortable that she prefers seeing me wear.

When I'm working out, I simply wear whatever is most comfortable. If shopping for workout clothes, I'll buy whatever is cheapest that fits my needs - even if it is in some godawful color. I can never get over women who workout in matching shirt, shorts, socks, and headband.

For me, the premium is on clothes that will go with the most other clothes. For example, I have suits and sportcoats in grays and blues - but every one of my dress shirts is white.

Way too much info yet? ;)

[Dinsdale]

Mid-forties, reasonably fit? Oh, they're lookin'. Trust me.


So my 2 buddies and I are out running over lunch today, and this hot* chick hollers out "Woo, lookit them legs!" Kinda put a little extra spring in our stride!

*(Well, she was pretty hot as far as old toothless homeless women go!) :D

[Dung Beetle]

Toldja. ;)

[gigi]

My husband is a Mighty Hunter Shopper. His primal instincts are activated when he's on a Quest for the Lowest Price. He has a thousand antenna out at all times, a thousand "lowest price he's seen onlines" in his head.

The Mighty Hunter Shopper will not be defeated! He will provide high quality goods at bargain prices for his family! Grrnnunpf!

:)
Mom? My father is the ultimate bargain finder. He will scour every store to make absolutely sure he doesn't get "taken" by a seemingly good price. I ask him for birthday gifts well in advance because I know he will enjoy the hunt.

The only shopping my mom does is in the quilt store. She merely pushes the cart as Pop singlemindedly wields his coupons and picks up the items he has pre-selected on the grocery store flyer. He pretty much picks out her clothes because she gets a migraine if she sets foot in a mall or big store.

"Pop, those are nice shoes."
"Wal-Mart, $8.88."

[Elen_Luyddog]

What drives me nuts is going into a store to buy a simple item like navy casual pants, to be told "Oh, navy isn't in this year." Well those blue slacks aren't going to match all of the shirts I already have, and I'm not about to buy a bunch of new shirts just to go with whatever shade of blue you feel is currently in style.

I also lack a good sense of what goes together, and I dislike the idea of having a shirt and slacks that only go with each other. Feels like a kid's "outfit" - Garanimals or somesuch.


Actually, as a retail/mall rat, I agree with you about the navy thing. It is actually in this year, BTW but we should carry it at all times. Navy is so classic and in something like Dockers, timeless.

Alot of people lack the ability to put outfits together. That is why they have nice sales girls especially in mens.

[kunilou]

I'll "shop" but it's a very specific kind of shopping.

Let's say I decide I want a shirt. Before I ever go to the store I know whether I want long or short-sleeves, office-apprpropriate or weekend styling and approximate color.

I'll then happily spend an hour comparing short-sleeve blue shirts I can wear to work until I find one I'm happy with.

But the idea of having some vague notion I want a shirt and wandering from store to store waiting for inspiration to strike? Never.

[catsix]

I don't shop, I go on tactical retrieval missions. I know what I want before I leave the house, and my goal is to obtain it and return home as fast as I can.

I do not understand spending hours upon hours at the mall. What is the point of it?

[Viridiana]

I'd venture to suggest efficiency - if I go to a shopping area I want to see everything they have because often times there'll be something I want that didn't occur to me and making a bunch of trips to the mall before they changed all the displays would bore me more than staying longer the one time. That and I'm into design and like distinct, interesting things, and I don't wake up in the morning thinking "I need a long striated English netting skirt" or "I need an olive Italian lace trimmed bolero with raffia ruching cord". I can see shopping as pointless for people who think clothes can't possibly be interesting, I guess. That's cool. But for some hating shopping seems to be a point of pride, which I don't get.

[matt_mcl]

A million women can snicker, but we'll happily put up with that as long as there isn't the remotest chance that even one man is going to purse his lips, wolf-whistle and say "hello sailor!"

...trust me when I tell you...

I look at shopping the same way I looked at social interactions: Formerly having had no interest for them, have since developed an interest and am looking to cultivate it. I went shopping last night with kung fu lola ("kung fu lola's outfit is adorable" is one of the truths of the universe) and came away with three very nice pairs of jeans. It was a lot of fun.

[Autolycus]

I am looking at the "Code for Men" now and I see the following items where'in shopping is ok:



Alcohol
Home Depot
Video games
fine wine or cheese (YMMV)
cigars

[bump]

Maybe you should roll #4 up as "food and booze".

I'm not much of a shopper either, unless I'm in the aforementioned Best Buy, CompUSA, etc.... OR somewhere like a grocery store/gourmet market. I can spend a couple of hours in one of the HEB Central Markets around here, and rarely make it out for less than $50.

[Kalhoun]

Men don't go shopping. They go buying. In, purchase, out, done. End of story.
I think this is mostly true. My SIL says shopping is female bonding with the added bonus of buying stuff. She recently spent 4 hours in Kohl's with her sister, just yakking and looking and filling up the cart, then unfilling it, and walking out with a $20 purchase. She's a pro.

[Mama Tiger]

Papa Tiger is a surprisingly good shopper, and has far more tolerance for it than I do. He does all the grocery shopping -- I learned that one the hard way; right after we were married, we went grocery shopping together, and he decided he wanted to buy some bacon. He picked up a package that was priced well and looked really nice, and I said, "That looks good, let's get that one." He insisted on comparison pricing. Ten minutes later, after I'd given up and sat down on the floor of the grocery store to await his Mighty Hunter Shopper decision, and after he'd picked up and looked at every single package of bacon on the shelves (not just each brand, each individual package), he decided on the one he wanted....the very first one he'd looked at. :smack:

But I do like to have some input when he clothes shops because although he has excellent taste and is terrific at matching colors and picking things that look good on him, even after he's tried it on he usually decides he doesn't want to buy it, so it helps if I'm there to talk him into it. And also to instruct the store on tailoring for pants -- he's an odd inseam length, so slacks always need to be tailored, but they always want to give him cuffs for some reason. Men who are longer in the torso than the legs should never wear cuffs.

However, I utterly and completely refuse to go to Home Depot with him. He can stay there all day long, even if he doesn't buy a thing. It's crack for men!