The Bash 'GOD' Thread

[4JawChuck]

This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.
Fire away.

[Quiddity Glomfuster]

This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.
Fire away.
Gee, this sounds familiar :rolleyes: Why not do a search and read the 5,667,987 'original' posters before you with the same axe to grind and the same tune to sing? It gets old. Very, very old.

[Larry Borgia]

Well, a spinal column more suited for a quadraped wasn't a nice gift. And the eye seems to have been built ass-backward. And what's up with the appendix?

[tomndebb]

I agree. I've tried Guaraanteed Overnight Delivery and they just don't stand up to InterState. Even UPS gives them a run for their money, and Old Dominion simply outclasses them all. I can't think why anyone would continue to believe in Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.

[Heffalump and Roo]

This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.
Fire away.

You first.

[Captain_C]

God, your son looks like a goddamned (*snerk*) hippie. Tell him to get a haircut and a real job, and stop fooling around with those silly parlor tricks he is fond of.

[4JawChuck]

Gee, this sounds familiar :rolleyes: Why not do a search and read the 5,667,987 'original' posters before you with the same axe to grind and the same tune to sing? It gets old. Very, very old.
Over 5 million posts? OVER 5 MILLION POSTS??????
I'm going to do a search.
OVER 5 MILLION PREVIOUS POSTS???????????
Hey, I'm going back to read Mark Twain. If any thoughts of his are similar to mine, I'm going silent. SILENT, MOTHAFUCKA!!

[4JawChuck]

Yep. Turns out my thoughts are not so unique. I apologize to all the people who post original ideas here. How do you do it? I'm in awe of you.

[Klaatu]

Yep. Turns out my thoughts are not so unique. I apologize to all the people who post original ideas here. How do you do it? I'm in awe of you.

There are no original ideas left, we just find creative ways to say the same shit over and over.

[Klaatu]

I agree. I've tried Guaraanteed Overnight Delivery and they just don't stand up to InterState. Even UPS gives them a run for their money, and Old Dominion simply outclasses them all. I can't think why anyone would continue to believe in Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.

Of course, that's because Deliveries Entail Very Involved Logistics. :p

[Happy Scrappy Hero Pup]

Agh.

I shouldn't be posting, but I had a flash of clarity with regard to these "God is teh bad!" posts.

crinz83, smarter than you have tried. And they've done well.


Leave it to them. Please.

I'd hate to think that the theocracy my people envision came about because our most stringent oppponents were people like YOU.

I mean, that'd hardly be sporting. And I'd like to think my New Catholic World Order would have encountered at least SOME resistance.

[Argent Towers]

In Soviet Russia, God bashes YOU!

[alice_in_wonderland]

Dear God,

I'm 34. Where the 'frik is my PONY?!?!?!?!

Thank you,
Alice

[Klaatu]

We had to take care of that puppy when you were 9, and now you want a pony?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Dear Alice,

Look, I told you: Here's the shovel, there's the pile of manure. Do I have to do everything for you?

Love 'n' kisses,

God.

[fifty-six]

Hey God when you sent your Son down to save me from my sins it didn't work.

I still smoke, and think lewd thoughts, and eat a little to much, lie, cheat and steal sometimes.

Got a daughter?

[tomndebb]

Of course, that's because Deliveries Entail Very Involved Logistics. :pAs is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the Guaranteed Overnight Delivery (http://www.blwnscale.com/blwphotos/blw-ptrlr-god.jpg) trucking company (Eastern U.S.).

[Captain_C]

Oh, and before I forget:

No matter how many times you ask me "Isn't it ironic?", the answer is still NO! And stop playing so much pinball.



(Oh come on, can I at least get a pity laugh for the weak cross-reference?)

[Autolycus]

Happy Easter to you too buddy.

[alice_in_wonderland]

We had to take care of that puppy when you were 9, and now you want a pony?

But I promise I'll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!?

I promise I'll be good. <sniff>

[drachillix]

But I promise I'll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!?

I promise I'll be good. <sniff>

Thats what our daughter said when she wanted a puppy....since she was soooo lonley being at home.

She got the puppy

4 days later we find the puppy chewing on a used condom...

:dubious:

[Klaatu]

But I promise I'll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!?

I promise I'll be good. <sniff>

(Stern Look) Well ok, you can have a pony. But, young lady, I swear......

[Klaatu]

As is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the Guaranteed Overnight Delivery (http://www.blwnscale.com/blwphotos/blw-ptrlr-god.jpg) trucking company (Eastern U.S.).

Well, rain on my parade then. It took me ten minutes to think that up, dammit.
Especially since I have never heard of that company. I thought you were doing a clever play on words there tom.

I am slightly nonplussed. ;)

[faithfool]

But, but, but.... Our Bog is Dood (http://www.artofeurope.com/smith/smi5.htm)!

[MEBuckner]

He never calls, He never writes....

[Fatwater Fewl]

I hear he used creatine.

[Chief Pedant]

This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.
Fire away.

It would be nice if he would have actually created us all equal to make it easier to participate in the Religion of Equality.

Plus it woulda been a heck of a lot more fair.

[essell]

I for one (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i276/essellburns/Notthatshitagain.jpg) welcome our old deific overlord.

[Malacandra]

Over 5 million posts? OVER 5 MILLION POSTS??????
I'm going to do a search.
OVER 5 MILLION PREVIOUS POSTS???????????
Hey, I'm going back to read Mark Twain. If any thoughts of his are similar to mine, I'm going silent. SILENT, MOTHAFUCKA!!

You say this as though it were a bad thing. :dubious:

[Klaatu]

I for one (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i276/essellburns/Notthatshitagain.jpg) welcome our old deific overlord.

That's not what the Flying Spaghetti Monster looks like.

Is it? :eek:

[Hostile Dialect]

I'm annoyed about the ballsack. Penes are masculine and impressive (well, mine is, at least ;) ), but ballsacks just hang around awkwardly and make the whole thing look silly. Especially when you shave off a few too many hairs. For that matter, where are my retractable claws and Spider-Man-style web shooters? I was sure we'd have those by 2005 at the latest.

[cochrane]

So, I've got a question. Can God nuke a burrito till it gets so hot even He cannot eat it?

[SmartAleq]

Bastard owes me twenty bucks! Not only that, the last time he was over he drank my last beer and left orange Cheetoh dust fingerprints on my new microfiber couch. Oh, and I think the dog's pregnant, too! I'm not letting that guy back in the house 'til he learns some damn manners... :rolleyes:

[4JawChuck]

Dammit, quit posting! Quiddity Glomfester is tired of the same old axe to grind!
Please only grind new axes... only completely new ideas.
Quiddity Glomfester is tired... this has been done 5 million times before.
What a creative name... Quiddity Glomfester. I love the funny location of Quiditty Glomfester... playing with Victoria... very creative. And the 'rolling the eyes' smiley is original, funny, and creative.
Quiditty Glomfester: "Attacking my name and location... how original 'rolls eyes'"
Crinz: "Yer a fucking A-Hole".
Quiditty Glomfester: 'rolls eyes'
Crinz: "Fuck you"
Quiditty Glomfester: 'rolly eyes' smiley.

[Slithy Tove]

(Sitting at a desk, reviewing Gods resume, Him in a chair in front of me)

"OK, we're looking for the strengths you can bring to our organization. Let's see here, hmmm "little green apples." Yes, that's impressive. Well thanks for coming in. We'll be contacting the final candidates for further interviews and we'll let you know either way."

[Polycarp]

As is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the Guaranteed Overnight Delivery (http://www.blwnscale.com/blwphotos/blw-ptrlr-god.jpg) trucking company (Eastern U.S.).

I wonder if GOD subcontracts anything to Covenant Transport (http://www.covenanttransport.com/)?

[RTFirefly]

I can't think why anyone would continue to believe in Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. Believe in them?!

I've seen them, I tell ya!!

And they've got a cool phone number. 1-800-DIAL-GOD.

I kinda like the idea of an overnight delivery service that also offers telephone communication with the Almighty.

[RTFirefly]

So, I've got a question. Can God nuke a burrito till it gets so hot even He cannot eat it?Yeah, but then He gives it to His Son, who's got twelve starving friends who'll eat anything.

[Hamlet]

There are no original ideas left, we just find creative ways to say the same shit over and over.Just say over there left we same shit are over and the ways find are ideas to original.

[El_Kabong]

This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.

If you put a 'Fraternal Order of Police' sticker on your car window and you get pulled over for speeding, the officer will let you go with a warning?

[Wolfian]

Oh, and before I forget:

No matter how many times you ask me "Isn't it ironic?", the answer is still NO! And stop playing so much pinball.



(Oh come on, can I at least get a pity laugh for the weak cross-reference?)
It was skeeball, not pinball. Pinball is for backsliders.

[Malacandra]

Dammit, quit posting! Quiddity Glomfester is tired of the same old axe to grind!
Please only grind new axes... only completely new ideas.
Quiddity Glomfester is tired... this has been done 5 million times before.
What a creative name... Quiddity Glomfester. I love the funny location of Quiditty Glomfester... playing with Victoria... very creative. And the 'rolling the eyes' smiley is original, funny, and creative.
Quiditty Glomfester: "Attacking my name and location... how original 'rolls eyes'"
Crinz: "Yer a fucking A-Hole".
Quiditty Glomfester: 'rolls eyes'
Crinz: "Fuck you"
Quiditty Glomfester: 'rolly eyes' smiley.

And now you act like QD was the only one who thought you were an a-hole, and "creatively misspelling" :rolleyes: another poster's name was original, funny or for that matter allowed Hi Opal!

[Skald the Rhymer]

I agree. I've tried Guaraanteed Overnight Delivery and they just don't stand up to InterState. Even UPS gives them a run for their money, and Old Dominion simply outclasses them all. I can't think why anyone would continue to believe in Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.


And this, ladies & gents, is why tomndebb should post more without his mod hat on.

[Don't fight the hypothetical]

Yeah, but then He gives it to His Son, who's got twelve starving friends who'll eat anything.
Now that's funny!

[enigm4tic]

Hey God when you sent your Son down to save me from my sins it didn't work.

I still smoke, and think lewd thoughts, and eat a little to much, lie, cheat and steal sometimes.

Got a daughter?
More importantly, is she hot?

::d+r::

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

More importantly, is she hot?

::d+r:: Hey, Daddy's little girl was Lilith, (http://www.halexandria.org/images/Lilith.gif) right?

[Giraffe]

Fire away.Here goes:

1. Learn how to write an OP.
2. You idiot.
3. Thread closed.