SDMB Slob Reform Club - May Edition

[BlueKangaroo]

First and foremost, I have to admit that this OP is drawn completely from my own current experience. Perhaps that's something that should be obvious, but since this OP is less about what progress I've made, and more about the state of my life and how that is reflected in the state of my house, I wanted to make that clear.

My lease is up at the end of May, and I am moving. As I said in the previous thread, a move is a good time to get rid of stuff, but this move is particularly excruciating. I have moved 8-10 times in the past 8 years, and I still have far more stuff than would be expected for someone who’s moved so much. I don’t even want to think about how much stuff I’d have if I hadn’t moved so much.

This move is hard for me on a lot of levels. I am in the process of separating from my husband, and we are both moving to separate places. So there’s sorting to be done, and I have to think about my future housing, and future moves – alone. Furthermore, I am in the middle of finishing my MS, which means finishing a thesis (of DOOOOM!), and I will be gone for 10 days in early May. There are other stressors for this move, but those are the big ones that affect my cleaning and packing, I think. So I am trying to plan for my future, while sorting through the detritus of my past.

This has lead to me trying to figure out how to pare down the amount of stuff I own, without getting too bogged down in the emotions that are attached to the stuff, and the emotions that aren't really attached to the stuff, but are easy to lead myself into thinking so. At the same time, I don't think it's healthy to wall all of those emotions off. I find it a fine balancing act, and one I'm not much good at.

When I originally started this post, about a week ago, I was trying to give myself permission to let go of a lot of things. Some things, specifically my "dust collectors", I've been relatively successful at. Others, like my books, I'd only been moderately successful at. Others, like a couple of pieces of heavy furniture, I'd not been successful at at all. So I had a long post written about trying to make my way through all of this, and how hard it was, and what I thought the right answers were. At this point, I hadn't yet found a new place to live.

Then I spent this weekend looking for a new place. And I found one, thankfully. As I searched, I spent a lot of time thinking, and a lot of time chatting with those I care about. I had been trying to convince myself to let go of my huge solid oak table (seats 6+) and matching buffet/sideboard, and I hadn't been particularly successful. I kept telling myself things like, "Well, it's not really more functional than something from IKEA. And it's heavy, and you could probably sell it the same way you bought it." I tried to avoid my feelings that this was my first set of "real" furniture, thinking about how unique the pieces are, and how much I love them. Needless to say, this wasn't working.

A friend of mine helped ground me back out with it, and I think gave me the solution for a lot of my clutter. My friend pointed out that their table & chairs came from IKEA, and that the cost of the table & 4 chairs was 2/3 of what I'd spent on my table, six chairs & buffet. And those table & chairs are not at all something to be invested in. So why was I really worrying about getting rid of this set? If it was just that it'd be harder to move than the stuff from IKEA, well sure. But it's also more functional than the stuff from IKEA, even if I hadn't seen that originally, and it's well loved. So if the problem is moving it, the solution may well be to hire movers.

On the whole, I had originally been thinking that the solution to the clutter problem was to "give ourselves permission to let go". I still think that's true to a degree, for all that it's the kind of solution that's on par with "find balance", and just makes the audience want to stab the speaker. However, what we rarely hear, and what I discovered this weekend, is that there's a flip side to that coin. We have to give ourselves permission to hold on, as well. Beating ourselves up over our investment in our things isn't particularly conducive to actually getting rid of stuff!

So I'll keep the table & buffet, especially since the buffet will effectively triple my counter and cabinet space in my new kitchen. I'll still get rid of gobs of books, but maybe I'll be a little less ruthless about it. I'll more closely follow the idea I had in the first place. "How likely am I to be able to find this in a library, should I want to read it?" Anything that is absolutely going to be in a library is gone. Anything that's likely to be in a library is gone. Anything that's unlikely to be in a library, I can keep if I want it. And I plan to be just as ruthless with the dust collectors. Frankly, all they do is sit around and look pretty and collect dust. I hate dusting, so time to reduce the amount I have to do.

I feel better about all of this than I did, though I expect to have a few more meltdowns. I'm moving into a smaller space, which is often the death knell for me. When my husband and I were first married, we rented a two-story, three-bedroom house, and were able to keep that clean and uncluttered, except for one room. I was content with that solution, especially since that one room wasn't our bedroom. Once we moved out here, where rent is so much more expensive, we've been condensed into smaller places, and haven't been able to clean back up. I hope to spend the next year in my space doing a few things. Getting rid of stuff, clutter and keeping the place clean are high on the list. But I plan to do that by getting to know me, by myself, a bit better. Figure out just how clean and uncluttered I am, and either accept that level, or strive for better.

[emmaliminal]

Wow. Me too, sorta. mr.emilyforce and I are moving (together) this month and it is way stressful; I am a terrible slob and am mostly at peace with that. He has some slob tendencies but disarray bothers him a lot, so we have tension about mess. He often fondly recalls having moved once in his late 20s and being able to fit all his belongings in the back of his compact pickup.

I draw the line at books and furniture I like. My library is my soul, man!

The hardest thing at the moment is giving up supplies for projects I've never finished, or broken things I know I can fix but haven't yet, etc.

Anyway, here: have some moral support. ///support\\\ You deserve it.

[dangermom]

Whoof, BlueKangaroo, that's a lot of upheaval in your life. (Weird question: do you find that working on your thesis allows you to 'escape' for a little while? My thesis came due just as a horrible crisis happened in my life, and I found that forcing myself to concentrate and work on it helped me a lot.)

We are plugging along and I'm playing catch-up this week, after neglecting everything in order to sew and go do other stuff. Today I'm cleaning the kitchen--or at least, I will after I post. I have washed, folded, and put away a ton of laundry in the past 24 hours, so that's a good accomplishment.

[BlueKangaroo]

Emilyforce, that's exactly it. The last post I worked on did touch on my meltdown about making these stacks of books. It wasn't any one book or type of book, it was just the size of the piles, and how long I've been a reader.

I hope you and the mister manage to figure it all out, with minimal stress. And that you manage to get rid of a lot of stuff! ;)

Dangermom, I wish I had that tendency. I have the unfortunate tendancy to freeze up when I feel overwhelmed, at least chronically so. It wasn't so bad last week, when I got the last push of input I needed to finish up the second chapter of my thesis. But now that I'm staring down the barrel of the third chapter, I'm flustered again.

As for my progress of the day, I have e-mailed my committee chair about my confusion with this third chapter, started contacting movers for quotes (just one so far), and helped the Kangaroo_in_Black sort out our games and start on the front closet. I hope to sort out some more books today, and maybe pack some clothing. Normally I'd pack the clothing in an unused suitcase, but I might need it for my trip.

Oh, and if anyone has any recommendations or tips for someone hiring movers for the first time, I'd love to have them. Thanks!

[Lissla Lissar]

I'm in for the May edition. We've just found out I'm pregnant, and that will mean moving somewhere where there's more space. We're both packrats, and I work at a bookstore. We have a million books.

This will be fun.

We probably won't move until the end of summer, but that only gives me four months to stare hard at things, and think, "Do I really need this?". And after we move, we'll try to set up so that there are many fewer sharp/pointy/dangerous/poisonous things down at baby level, just to be proactive.

[dangermom]

Woo! Congratulations, Lissla! Don't worry about the books, you can let the kid use them as building blocks. :D


Dangermom, I wish I had that tendency. Oh, it's not a tendency of mine at all. I had to force myself to do every bit. You see, my thesis consisted of two different topics, chosen out of 6 or 7 possibles. If you failed either of the topics, it had to be re-done in the next semester, and that was the only chance you got. So it was a choice between making myself do the two papers, even though I was falling apart and only wanted to stay in bed, or re-doing it all again the next semester and taking the chance that one would fail, in which case I would never get the degree at all. The thought of doing it all again and possibly failing permanently was enough to get me to do the thesis, despite my personal misery--and it just happened to help me out, as well. But it was horrible. I hope you can cope with it better!

[BlueKangaroo]

Yay, Lissla!

Wow, dangermom, that's incredibly intense! My thesis is on the research I conducted over the last two years. Right now my advisor wants a solid answer to the question, "Why did you spend two years of your life on this?", and I'm pretty sure, "Because I like large cats and it's nifty-neato!" isn't the right answer. As it stands, I just won't be allowed to go up and defend in June if my committee doesn't think I'm ready to pass.

I sorted out some more books, and this bunch was a lot easier. I think the attitude of being willing to keep the books I don't expect to find in a library makes it easier. I'll do some more packing soon, of some sort.

[emmaliminal]

Oh, and if anyone has any recommendations or tips for someone hiring movers for the first time, I'd love to have them.Boy do I!

1) See if you can get a guaranteed quote instead of a guestimate. IIRC, that may be the only legal way to do it in some places. You pay by the pound. A competent moving estimator can come to your house, eyeball your stuff, and make you a contract.

2) Don't put up with an incompetent estimator. The company we used back in Ought Ought had their estimator quit the day I called them; the owner came out himself to do our contract. He lowballed himself by almost half... which should have been a great deal for us, except that he declared we'd cheated and hidden stuff when he estimated, and wanted to sue us, and was generally very very nasty.

3) Understand how the business works: the people you sign the contract with will then line up a carrier to actually transport your stuff. Those drivers do not work for the people you signed the contract with. Unless you have a lot more stuff than I think you do, your stuff will not fill their truck, and they will group other people's stuff in there with yours. If your stuff was first on, it will be last off. If the drivers picked up business for folks moving far away from your new place, you get to wait. When I was a kid, moving from Ohio to eastern Washington state, our van was eight weeks late! It went by way of several southern states, then Mexico, then up the West Coast to Seattle just before the mountain passes closed for heavy snow.

4) For that and other reasons, assume the truck will be a few weeks late, no matter what they tell you, and pack accordingly. Take with you whatever you might need by way of legal papers for starting a new bank account, etc., and if you'll be job-hunting, your resume and some interview outfits.

5) Make 100% sure you know how the truck unloaders can be paid when they arrive. Ours required cash, local check, or Discover card - they arrived unannounced on a Sunday (two weeks late) and said they couldn't take Visa or MC on Sundays (some kind of authorization thing). We didn't have cash on hand and couldn't get that much all at once, it being Sunday, and we didn't have a new checking account yet. They were going to unload our stuff into a rental storage unit and make us pay for it if I hadn't remembered I had a never-used Discover card left over from a Hotwire promotion.

Good luck!

[BlueKangaroo]

Oh, wow, emilyforce! That sounds insane and overwhelming.

I'm more looking for an in-town(ish) move, so hopefully this isn't something where weeks will be involved, at all. It's just that I can't move out of my stupid condo on the weekend (because they have stupid rules), and I don't know anyone who can help me move on a weekday. That, and I'm moving into a second story apartment with no elevator, it just seems to make sense to hire people to be burly...

[emmaliminal]

I'm more looking for an in-town(ish) move... it just seems to make sense to hire people to be burly...Oh! Well in that case, none of what I ranted about applies! :)

I think it does indeed make sense to hire people to be burly. I would, though, just keep an eye on them to make sure they aren't mondo-stupid-burly: one of our "carrying stuff out of the house and putting it on the truck" guys nearly broke his knee getting mr.emilyforce's file cabinet down the front stoop stairs. They were high school seniors hired for the day, we found out, no training at all.

[Heffalump and Roo]

On the whole, I had originally been thinking that the solution to the clutter problem was to "give ourselves permission to let go". I still think that's true to a degree, for all that it's the kind of solution that's on par with "find balance", and just makes the audience want to stab the speaker. However, what we rarely hear, and what I discovered this weekend, is that there's a flip side to that coin. We have to give ourselves permission to hold on, as well. Beating ourselves up over our investment in our things isn't particularly conducive to actually getting rid of stuff!

Wow, BlueKangaroo. . . fabulous OP!! Thanks for writing it. It's been a pretty emotional day here, and it had me choked up. Great stuff!

And yeah, finding that balance is hard. I give in to the feeling of wanting everything around me. I paid to move a HUGE box of magazines. . . through a couple moves!! I think a swing over to letting things go would be helpful here. On the other hand, though, I just paid to have a quarter of a dump truck of stuff hauled away a couple years ago. And it was all stuff I didn't miss at all. So that was nice.

One tip I might add for your move. Don't be fooled by in-town moves. Perhaps you're not, but I had a neighbor that bought a house literally down the street about 10 or so houses away and she said that it was one of the hardest moves. I think that's because she wasn't mentally prepared for it being a move since it was only down the street. Having said that, it probably isn't any more stressful than any other move, just not considerably less so. And when you talk to the movers, let them know about the stairs because they price accordingly. Good luck with getting that set up! I hope it goes well.

Please keep us apprised of your progress. I'm enjoying reading about your insights.

Lissla, I didn't get to congratulate you on the MMP yet, so CONGRATULATIONS!! and it's nice to see you here on this thread also.

[BlueKangaroo]

Thanks, emilyforce.

Heffalump and Roo, I think it'll be okay on the in-town move thing. Most of my moves have been in-town moves, with only two or three being large moves. I actually am not sure what to do in this in-town move, because I can't move stuff as I go!

My progress today has been decent. About a paragraph on the thesis (not so decent), almost all of the laundry washed, folded and sorted into his and hers dressers. I also packed my winter clothing into an unused suitcase. I also started packing for my trip, and am making plans for how to get to the airport on Saturday. I also managed to pick out a few clothing items to freecycle, though I could swear we had a pile of those somewhere that has been lost.

Now for dinner, and then hopefully something else productive.

[Heffalump and Roo]

Heffalump and Roo, I think it'll be okay on the in-town move thing.

Glad to hear it. It sounds like you're doing some great planning with lots of preparation.

[BlueKangaroo]

Adrenaline, frustration and anger apparently make for a cleaner house.

Oddly, in all of the homes I've lived in for the past 8 years, none of the landlords has ever tried to show the house while I/we were still living in it. This means it didn't even occur to me that the landlady here would want to, until she called and told us she wanted to show it this weekend (to multiple people!), and what day would be best for us?

The house is a disaster because we're slobs and packrats. It's ALSO a disaster because we've been attempting to pack in too small a space, and to do the emotionally charged business of sorting out who gets what. Finally, we both have long hours, and between that and the draining emotional cloud in the house, we both tend to be exhausted in front of our computers at night.

However, today, we got the bedroom damn near clean. It's not packed, though it's more packed. And I got rid of several things; luckily we have a community freecycle in the building. I would say the bedroom is 95% presentable. The rest of the house is a complete nightmare, but the bedroom is looking amazing.

Given that we got it to this point in ~2h, I'm hoping it bodes well for the rest of the house. We managed to delay the landlady until late afternoon Sunday. This gives us a couple of hours Thurs-Sun to get the house "presentable". I won't be here for Saturday or Sunday, but he won't be around for most of the time tomorrow and Friday, so let's call it a trade-off.

I'm pretty impressed as I look at this room. I guess adrenaline, frustration and anger also make it easier to just write stuff off.

[Lissla Lissar]

We have ants. All over the kitchen floor. I seem to be containing them with vinegar, but I want them all to die miserably.

I seem to be able to manage one and a half big pieces of housekeeping per free day. I'm going to wash the dishes, and then move all the cookie sheets away from the ant area and wash them. Blech.

[WhyNot]

On the whole, I had originally been thinking that the solution to the clutter problem was to "give ourselves permission to let go". I still think that's true to a degree, for all that it's the kind of solution that's on par with "find balance", and just makes the audience want to stab the speaker. However, what we rarely hear, and what I discovered this weekend, is that there's a flip side to that coin. We have to give ourselves permission to hold on, as well. Beating ourselves up over our investment in our things isn't particularly conducive to actually getting rid of stuff!

So I'll keep the table & buffet, especially since the buffet will effectively triple my counter and cabinet space in my new kitchen. I'll still get rid of gobs of books, but maybe I'll be a little less ruthless about it. I'll more closely follow the idea I had in the first place. "How likely am I to be able to find this in a library, should I want to read it?" Anything that is absolutely going to be in a library is gone. Anything that's likely to be in a library is gone. Anything that's unlikely to be in a library, I can keep if I want it. And I plan to be just as ruthless with the dust collectors. Frankly, all they do is sit around and look pretty and collect dust. I hate dusting, so time to reduce the amount I have to do.
I think you're absolutely right. We're not monks here - we've taken no vow of poverty, we're not set against worldly goods. The key is to minimize your stuff, not to eliminate your stuff. I think what you may have caught sight of is that one of the "rules" of getting rid of stuff is that to keep it, you ought to love it or use it. You obviously love that table. From the sound of it, I would too, it sounds fabulous! AND, you use it, so there's absolutely no philosophical problem with keeping it and committing yourself to being a reformed slob.

I know what you mean about your first "real" furniture. In the last year I have gotten my first real wood, not pressboard, chosen from the store, not hand-me-down stuff. I'm amazed (and a little ashamed) at just how good material stuff can make me feel! But I also notice that a carefully chosen and cherished end table collects less stuff than the scuffed lawn sale make-do piece. The beautiful shelves which serve as my entertainment unit get dusted more often than my brother-in-law's old castoff metal and glass unit from 1986 (seriously not my taste!). Now that I have stuff that I like, I want to see it and keep it pretty, instead of internally cringing and walking away every time I see it.

I'm also a very avid re-reader, and every time we move, the books are the most painful. what I do is make three piles: "Absolutely Keep On the Shelves", "Donate" and "Box For Six Months or One Move". The boxed books are the hesitation books, the "Oh, I don't know...." ones. They are tied with a ribbon for easy marking, and they go in the back of the basement or storage unit at my new place. So they're THERE, if I really get a hankerin' for something in there, but they don't take up living space. It takes intentional effort to get something out of there. If I remember at six months, and haven't cracked open the box, then they become Donate if I need the space. If not, at the next move the red ribbon reminds me that they are now Donate. One caveat: I CANNOT OPEN THE BOX! Unless I'm looking for something specific, opening the box will only snag me in a nostalgia trap and suddenly every book in there is a treasure again.

As for local moves, check the internet or yellow pages, and look up the companies at the Better Business Bureau's website. Movers seem to have a higher percentage of complaints than other vocations. We used movers only for the heavy stuff for our last move, and that was great, but next time I'm going to come up with more cash to let them do even more. Those guys are so fast and it's all so much easier to let them deal with it!

[emmaliminal]

I'm amazed (and a little ashamed) at just how good material stuff can make me feel! Hoo boy, yes.

I hereby request and confer permission on everybody to enjoy material stuff. It's okay to appreciate quality, utility, and beauty in things even if you buy them. It doesn't necessarily mean we've capitulated to a consumer ethic. Right?

But I also notice that ... now that I have stuff that I like, I want to see it and keep it pretty, instead of internally cringing and walking away every time I see it.Yes and yes and yes. It's fun to take care of things you like, and itchy to take care of things that bug you. I wish mr.emilyforce understood about this.

... "Box For Six Months or One Move". The boxed books are the hesitation books, the "Oh, I don't know...." ones. ... One caveat: I CANNOT OPEN THE BOX! Unless I'm looking for something specific, opening the box will only snag me in a nostalgia trap and suddenly every book in there is a treasure again.This is an absolutely brilliant idea. Can you estimate how many books you've divested yourself of this way?

[emmaliminal]

... she called and told us she wanted to show it this weekend (to multiple people!), and what day would be best for us?That is just cruel. We had this happen with only a few hours' notice a few months ago when our landlord was selling the duplex we rent. I told myself it was like EMTs seeing your hole-y underwear when they pull you out of a wreck - yeah, it would be better if you'd done what your mom always told you and worn nice ones, but the EMTs aren't really paying any attention to 'em.

However, today, we got the bedroom damn near clean. ... The rest of the house is a complete nightmare, but the bedroom is looking amazing.Mad props! Woot woot woot!

[WhyNot]

This is an absolutely brilliant idea. Can you estimate how many books you've divested yourself of this way?
Over four moves, well over 5000 books*. It pains me even to type it. But honestly, I can't tell you many of the titles now - so they're well gone and off making 5000 new people happy...or one person like me happy!



*Whenever my mom and I went shopping, I got a book. For gifts, I got (get) books. As punishment, books were taken away or I wasn't allowed to read for X amount of time. I'm one of those people. :D

[dangermom]

I hereby request and confer permission on everybody to enjoy material stuff. It's okay to appreciate quality, utility, and beauty in things even if you buy them. It doesn't necessarily mean we've capitulated to a consumer ethic. Right?
Eh, let's pretend we're disciples of William Morris. It's OK to love our things for their beauty, quality, and utility (as you say!). The problem shows up when we value our loved things over people and their needs, I think(--or also when we spend lots of money on continually changing our furniture). That doesn't make us rabid consumers, it makes us...er...homemakers. We love our things because they contribute to a harmonious, welcoming home that makes us and others feel good. How's that? :D

I'm feeling pretty competent today; I got the bathrooms cleaned and then made a bunch of food, so I'll have really yummy pitas for lunch for the next few days. (Hummus, falafel, and cucumers in dill-yogurt sauce, yum!) Eggs are boiling and I'll make some brown rice and a salad too. I've decided that we're having salad and brown rice for dinner a couple times a week this summer--healthy and refreshing and easy, and maybe we'll lose a few unnecessary pounds.

[WhyNot]

Oh man. I got the whole family of four packed for our camping trip tomorrow - first one of the year! I'm straightening the house and cleaning the kitchen now before bed. We'll be out and off by 5:30 AM if I have my way! This will be the first time I've come home to a decently clean and orderly house after a camping trip! I can't wait to find out how that feels. :D

This attention to the house has really started to bleed over into other areas, I'm noticing. I made this great detailed packing list, and started sorting through last year's equipment, repairing, replacing and packing things about a week ago, and a little bit each day so it wasn't all overwhelming - and I just realized that those are lessons I've learned in our little SDMBSRC! I don't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight the day before camping. Thanks!

[fisha]

Whynot, there is nothing better than coming home to a clean house after a trip. It really makes you appreciate being home, it's easy to relax and get ready for your regular schedule.

[Zsofia]

Well, it looks like the office/library may need to be actually tackled instead of permanently "on the list". The file cabinet, you know, the one with all the stuff on top of it and exactly six files in it? It doesn't contain the plot plan. Dad needs the plot plan 'cause he's helping me try to get the Historic Comission to let me build a garage.

May God have mercy on my soul.

[BlueKangaroo]

That is it!

I just almost lost one of a pair of earrings that means the world to me. It's one of those pairs of earrings that you never wear, because it's too special, until one day you think, "That's dumb."

I wore them for the first time awhile ago, and then I set them down that night with my "whenever" earrings - not back in their special little box. As I was packing for my trip today, I noticed one earring had gone missing. After some panic ensued, I found it had been knocked into a plasic grocery bag, and then that had been crumpled up and knocked under the dresser. If I hadn't been looking for that earring, I might have just thrown it away!

The earrings are back in their special box, and I am damn well going to figure out a way to get myself better organized, less messy and more inclined to just put my damn shit away. I am not going to stop wearing my earrings, because they are "too special."

Anyway, I leave today for my trip, so few updates from me, unless you all want thesis updates, or mental adjustment updates, which isn't much the point of the thread...

[emmaliminal]

Well, it looks like the office/library may need to be actually tackled instead of permanently "on the list"... Good luck with that. I tackle my piles once a year or so - I think of it as "the paper chase" - and then am good about filing papers as soon as I get them for a week. Then they accrete to about monitor-high in 3 or 4 semi-distinct heaps before I paperchase again. I usually know where to look for any given piece of paper should I need it - I know which pile it's in and at roughly what depth.

Once, mr.emilyforce, having heard me say, "Sometimes I wish I could pay someone to put these things away," undertook to do exactly that. He photographed my piles, labelled each with a sticky note, and carefully placed each in its own box, unsorted. He was not expecting me to be utterly horrified. I couldn't find anything after that until I put everything in the file cabinet and started over.

In my new house I will be good about filing papers ALL THE TIME. I will! You'll see!

[emmaliminal]

... damn well going to figure out a way to get myself better organized, less messy and more inclined to just put my damn shit away.....My solution to the earring scenario is one of these (http://www.improvementscatalog.com/product/storage+spaces/indoor+storage/bedroom+%26+closet+storage/jewelry+wall+cabinet/AdditionalViews.do) , bought off eBay for cheap (mirror broken on bottom half; I covered that part with copper foil). It works very well. Now the kittens can't capture, carry off, and kill any of my jewelry.


Anyway, I leave today for my trip...Happy tripping!

[dangermom]

I've done well today! General cleaning mostly, tidying and putting things away. Also I watched a Kim and Aggie episode on YouTube, which was rather inspiring.

WhyNot, you won't see this until you've already gotten home, but you will be thrilled to come home to a lovely clean house. My favorite part is always clean sheets and towels--no matter how disorganized I am, I try to always do those two things so I can come home to them.

[dangermom]

Update: inspired by you guys, I looked through my bookshelves and weeded out about 20 books. That's a lot for me! I try not to buy a lot of books (though of course I have an awful lot and keep getting more) and most of what I read comes from the library. When I buy a book, it's usually because I can't get it easily from somewhere else, or because I think it's important for me to have it. So there isn't a whole lot to get rid of.

[WhyNot]

Coming home to a clean house: :D
Coming home with the stomach flu, vomiting and diarrhea: :(

[BlueKangaroo]

Oh, yuck! But I bet the clean house made that a lot easier to bear!

I'm visiting a dear friend right now, and it's clearing my head a bit. However, I just spent some time IMing with my husband about what kitchen items he's taking. I'm a little concerned that he's not going to notice a lot of stuff that's "his", and I'm going to be packing that stuff and my stuff when I get home. And I can't decide if I mind that or not.

[emmaliminal]

Yesterday, I went through 2/3 of the bathroom stuff and came up with 4 bags of trash, one bag of To-Goodwill, one box packed, one box yet-to-be-packed of spillable sorts of things, and one pile of "don't pack this until you load the truck, cause ya never know" first aid and basics. Still have to deal with the bathroom shelves containing all our travel supplies and my textile project chemicals, but the bathroom is uncluttered and minimalist.

I also managed to let go of three pairs of formerly-favorite, utterly worn-out shoes, and got half my remaining shoes, all my cold-weather clothes, and all my dress clothes packed.

For some reason, I felt pretty blue after that! Maybe it was seeing how much is left to do... :(

BlueKangaroo, I don't know how helpful this is or whether you can do this in your area, but maybe if he leaves behind a lot that you don't want, you could arrange for the Salvation Army to come get it? That way you'd just have to pile it, not pack it.

[emmaliminal]

Coming home with the stomach flu, vomiting and diarrhea: :(Bleah. I hope you feel better soon.

[BlueKangaroo]

Emilyforce, I'll certainly look into it, but I don't know at the moment. The truth of the matter is my husband is a bit flakey, and we're both so messy that I suspect he's going to leave behind many things he really does want, but doesn't realize he's left behind. I don't want to deprive him of his things - it's his job, at this point, to get rid of his stuff. I just also don't want to be in charge of making sure it gets taken care of, for a variety of reasons.

However, if he doesn't want it, I will find thrift stores or SA pick up, and not deal with packing it too insanely.

[SpazCat]

We have ants. All over the kitchen floor. I seem to be containing them with vinegar, but I want them all to die miserably.

Window cleaner makes ants die a miserable, miserable death. They invaded my mailbox a few weeks ago < :mad: > and I destroyed them with off-brand Windex. They haven't been back since. I win.

(What is this with master's thesisisisisis and major emotional upheavals? I'm just about to start mine and my engagement broke up. Is this supposed to be motivation to get crackin' on it?)

[SpazCat]

BEHOLD! My yard has been mowed. Now the outside of my house no longer looks like Redneck Central.

Plus, the inside is remaining fairly clean. I feel good about ME! :cool:

[BlueKangaroo]

I'm glad, SpazCat.

I'll be back home from my trip tomorrow, and then the real work begins. Packing, cleaning, getting rid of junk and thesising all at once. I got some done on the thesis here, but not much.

However, the trip was wonderful, relaxing and well worth it. I missed my friends dearly.

[BlueKangaroo]

Okay, I guess it's time to report back in, if only for myself.

I haven't accomplished anything more on the thesis. I hope to get some hours in on that today.

I donated four good sized boxes of books to the Friends of the Library yesterday. It took a hand truck to do it, and I was only minorly traumatized. I kept more books than I thought I would, but I did reduce the amount I had by about half, so I am not disappointed with myself. I haven't yet gone through my old Biology textbooks to see what to get rid of there. That's oddly more emotional for me as I know I'll probably never look through most of them again, but there's the odd chance, as when I recently needed to pull out my Endocrinology book to answer a testosterone question from some friends. Furthermore, each of those books represents a class that got me to where I am now. And I have plans to keep going to PhD level, and I'd hate to lose all these reference books. And they look nice on the shelves of my professors. I know it's justification, but it's one box of books (plus those I have obtained in my advanced degree), and I haven't gotten to it yet.

The bedroom is mostly packed. I think I'll finish it tonight some time. I really want to finish it, because then I can close the door. It's something my dad taught me when I was moving to DC (from a 3bdrm place). Pack up a room, then close the door, and you'll not have to deal with that room again. I've never had that option since we moved out here - space was too much at a premium. But, now that my ex has gotten a lot of stuff out, and I've gotten rid of some stuff, it's amazing how much more space there is.

I came home from my trip to yuckiness. Dead plants, rotten food in the fridge AND the pantry, and dried cat poop on the floor. The fridge is still messy, but the pantry is cleaned and mostly packed, and the cat poop is cleaned. I had a friend helping me yesterday, and my ex came by yesterday to get some more of his stuff, so that helped. Of course, that meant that yesterday had a lot of sorting to do, but we got it done. Tomorrow he comes by again to get some more of his stuff, and we'll sort out things like kitchen utensils. So if anyone has advice on what sort of stuff a gal with terrible cooking skills and a teeny-tiny kitchen absolutely needs or absolutely should get rid of, I'd appreciate it. I am, however, signed up for cooking classes that start on 6 June, so hopefully the skills will improve. And the Kitchen-Aid stand mixer is mine and not negotiable.

My friend is coming over again tonight to help, and tells me we're a lot farther along than I think we are. I hope so, but sometimes it seems very overwhelming. I think my ex and I have agreed to hire someone to come in and do the final clean up for us, so I need to look into that.

Oh, and I hope to get the linen closet sorted, at least, today too. It shouldn't be terribly hard to pack either, so I may get it all done at once.

I have a metal trash can filled with old soil from my very impressive (at least to me) container garden last year. I have no idea what to do with that, other than see if my neighbor who has a container garden that intimidates mine would like it. I don't know this person at all, just see their garden through the fence.

By the end of the month, I'll be moved and hopefully have my thesis done. I just need to get cracking on both. I can't believe how hard it is to just do that, though.

[dangermom]

Wow, good for you! Just a little longer, right?

I was pretty good today and di quite a bit of maintenance. But I'm really tired now. I kicked my butt at the gym and now I'm crashing. :)

[BlueKangaroo]

Well, I didn't get done what I wanted to get done yesterday, but through the magic of freecycle was able to get rid of a few things. Today is all about the thesis, I think, except when my ex comes over to work on the kitchen. I did get significant amounts of my closet packed into a wardrobe box, and my friend did take a good number of my boxes to his place (he's storing smaller boxes for me at his place, to minimize the amount of time I'm paying movers for).

I think when I get "thesis block", which happens way too often, I'll try to work on my goals from yesterday. The linen closet really won't be that bad, and the bedroom is more done today than it was yesterday, just by virtue of the wardrobe box! Furthermore, my friend surprised me by bringing a couple of suitcases he won't be using anytime soon, so I can pack my clothing in that, and save boxes for other things. Plus, he can take the suitcases far more easily than boxes, so it's pretty good.

The worst part of moving is the last few weeks and the first few weeks, I think. It's worse right now because I no longer have a car, and there's not a lot of food within walking distance. McDonalds = nasty.

[danceswithcats]

{{{{BlueKangaroo}}}} Must've missed this thread when first put up. Glad you're making progress, dear. We've been doing much packing, too. If you find you still have books that you'd like to go to a loving home, don't forget the Gettysdope book/movie exchange-I was tickled to take home a handful from last year, as were other dopers. BiblioCat and I have a few boxes slated for that venue.

Good luck with finishing your move, moving on, and the thesis. :cool:

[TroubleAgain]

Oh, God, I need help and encouragement. I'm so far behind on my cleaning I want to cry. I was ill this past weekend and didn't hit a lick, and it shows. Kitchen is embarrassing. Livingroom has clean laundry all over it. Bedroom looks like a tornado hit it. And we're supposed to be going out of town Friday. :( I have to grocery shop this evening, but I think I'm going to stay up late and clean.

[BlueKangaroo]

Thanks, danceswithcats. I will no doubt have a few more books for the book exchange, as I really didn't get rid of as many as I'd hoped. And I got rid of half my books! I also didn't get rid of as many cookbooks, maybe only a third of those. Still, it's a start.

TroubleAgain, I completely understand where you're coming from. My movers show up Friday, and my house still looks pretty lived in. I'm cranking on my thesis, but poorly, and so I'm being nearly ineffective at both. The key, I think, is to just keep doing it, and acknowledging 1) when you're a bit overwhelmed and 2) when you've accomplished something, even if it's small. I spent two days unable to write a word on my thesis. So when I got three sentences out yesterday just before my moving/packing help arrived, I was still happy. I'm not going to lie, three sentences out of this last at least 5 page chapter isn't much, but it's better than the last two days. Today I'm going to get more done on it.

As important as cleaning is, don't make yourself ill again to do it. Your living room has clean laundry. Start there, I'd think. Maybe you won't get as much done as you'd like before you leave (three sentences, for example), but any progress is important, especially if you allow yourself to acknowledge it as such. The last thing you want to do is say, "I only got X done." That's just disheartening.

Good luck! I'm back to my thesis.

[WhyNot]

So if anyone has advice on what sort of stuff a gal with terrible cooking skills and a teeny-tiny kitchen absolutely needs or absolutely should get rid of, I'd appreciate it. I am, however, signed up for cooking classes that start on 6 June, so hopefully the skills will improve. And the Kitchen-Aid stand mixer is mine and not negotiable.
Here's what I have in my camp kitchen box (note: I camp cushy):
One pasta pot with straining lid. (http://www.ventasportv.com/images/products/large/BetterPastaPot_L.jpg) . No separate colander needed. Not only is it good for pasta, but for browning ground beef - brown, put on the lid and pour off the grease.
A solid lid which fits your straining pasta pot would be awesome, but when camping I just wrap some aluminum foil over the straining lid to cover the holes if I need a solid lid for simmering or boiling.
One 10 inch skillet with lid.
A liquid measuring cup
Set of dry measuring cups
Set of measuring spoons
Aluminum foil
Freezer gallon sized ziplocs
One solid cooking spoon, one slotted cooking spoon, one whisk, one pair spring loaded tongs, one spatula (pancake turner) and one spatula (rubber scraper)
Can opener
French chef's blade knife
Cutting board

For a minimalist home kitchen, I'd add
One 2 quart saucepan with lid
One paring knife
Vegetable peeler
A few ice cube trays
A three or four sided box grater
A few wooden spoons and maybe another solid bowl metal or silicone cooking spoon
Some reused to-go containers or Tupperware for food storage.
One cookie sheet, one 9X13 baking pan and one 8X8 baking pan
Mixing bowls are nice, but non-essential (you can always mix in your pot or in a ziploc bag) - if storage space is a premium, look for mixing bowls with lids, so they can double as your leftover storage containers.

After that, we get into Toys Cooks Love, like citrus reamers, egg/mushroom/strawberry slicers, spaetzle makers, waffle irons, etc. - things that are convenient to have, but only if you use them. As a learning cook, I wouldn't bother with those things until you learn your cooking style and what you'll use. But definitely, defend that stand mixer!

[Heffalump and Roo]

I've fallen and I can't get up! Well, actually, hopefully I can get up. But I've fallen off the cleaning wagon as far as my target area. I haven't been back in that office to clean since I last wrote.

However, I did just clean out one of my kitchen cabinets. And the other stuff I've been doing is good stuff. So maybe having fallen in that area isn't so terrible.

But I'm still thinking about it every day, thanks to this thread. BlueKangaroo, thanks for keeping it going. I hope the move goes well for you.

WhyNot, that looks like a great kitchen list. Not that I would know since I don't cook, but I love kitchen stuff all the same.

[BlueKangaroo]

Thanks, WhyNot. I have some of those things, both on your lists and in the "nice to have" area. It's odd what you end up with when you're breaking down a household.

Heffalump and Roo, thank you. I've been keeping up with this thread, but I haven't been sure I've been doing much good for me or anyone else. As for your office, it sounds like you just needed a productive break from it. That's what I try to do with the thesis/moving combo, but I don't always succeed. I'm in the realm of hating my thesis (but not yet my advisors and committee, so I'm pretty sure I'm not done yet), and the move is draining as well. I wish I had more "get up and go". I have very little motivation right now, though I've gotten even more done on my thesis today than I had before. It's still not enough to reward myself with my bribe, but I'll get there.

I may switch over to looking at the edits one of my advisors gave me. I'll find that more soothing than dealing with this third chapter, which may well be the devil himself, in paper form.

I did get my dresser all packed at this point, and there's a load of laundry in the washer. The pantry is empty, though not washed out, and some things are just sitting on the counter. I need to empty the big freezer tonight, so we can put it outside to defrost. I'm not sure how to tell what items are worth keeping and what aren't, though. Grrr!

[SpazCat]

After that, we get into Toys Cooks Love, like citrus reamers, *snip*

Those are called WHAT now? :eek:

[Lissla Lissar]

Oof. I have gotten extremely morning sick, am tired most of the time, and feel dizzy. I can just about do one piece of housecleaning every other day. I did the laundry today. It was a big, major accomplishment.

I'm sure everything will be better in about a month, after the first trimester ends. I hope.

[dangermom]

Probably it will, Lissla, but it's not guaranteed. Does that make you feel better? :)

I've been coasting a bit, but doing OK overall. I have recently folded a bunch of laundry, cleaned a ton of junk out of the kids' room (they are amazing at junk-collecting), and done a lot of general tidying. I've kept up on the dishes and counters, pretty much. So while I'm not spectacular, I'm not terrible either.

[WhyNot]

Those are called WHAT now? :eek:
Citrus reamers? (http://www.cookware-online.co.uk/ishop/930/shopscr2948.html) Low tech. (http://countryjoe.bizland.com/store/product2801.html) Lower tech. (http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/how-to-prepare-fruits-and-vegetables-cooking-2.jpg)

[SpazCat]

Citrus reamers? (http://www.cookware-online.co.uk/ishop/930/shopscr2948.html) Low tech. (http://countryjoe.bizland.com/store/product2801.html) Lower tech. (http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/how-to-prepare-fruits-and-vegetables-cooking-2.jpg)

Oh, a juicer. I don't speak your crazy chef-talk.

[TroubleAgain]

TroubleAgain, I completely understand where you're coming from. <snip>

As important as cleaning is, don't make yourself ill again to do it. Your living room has clean laundry. Start there, I'd think. Maybe you won't get as much done as you'd like before you leave (three sentences, for example), but any progress is important, especially if you allow yourself to acknowledge it as such. The last thing you want to do is say, "I only got X done." That's just disheartening.

Good luck! I'm back to my thesis.

Thanks, BlueKangaroo. I'm not actually in danger of getting ill again as far as I know. I've fought off whatever cold or flu was trying to get me. I'm just really disheartened right now and needed the boost. Thanks. I will definitelyl get the rest of the clean laundry out of the livingroom and maybe get the kitchen done tonight. Tomorrow night, well, we'll see.

[WhyNot]

Oh, a juicer. I don't speak your crazy chef-talk.
:D

See, when I hear "juicer", I think JUICER (http://www.naturalwayhealth.co.uk/oscar-vitalmax-juicer.php). A reamer's just a little thing for getting a few tablespoons of juice from a lemon or two. A juicer's a big powerful machine for people who like to eat grass and thistles.

[SpazCat]

:D

See, when I hear "juicer", I think JUICER (http://www.naturalwayhealth.co.uk/oscar-vitalmax-juicer.php). A reamer's just a little thing for getting a few tablespoons of juice from a lemon or two. A juicer's a big powerful machine for people who like to eat grass and thistles.

I didn't believe you about the grass until I clicked on the link. W. T. F. Mate? This is why I don't brag about my kitchen skillz. I can make food to live off of. Nothing fancy. Nothing that requires special tools. Just dinner. Food Network will not sink its claws into me!

[BlueKangaroo]

Well, in terms of my move, today was very productive. It was okay productive on the thesis, but still not enough to attain my bribe of myself.

However, in the land of the move, I finished the bedroom, finally, got the linens sorted and mine packed, cleaned out the refrigerator and two freezers, got rid of some clothing and shoes, put the freezer out to defrost, and got a few boxes into the car to be taken to my friend's house. We also got rid of a lot of trash, reclaimed several tupperware, did some generalized organization, and didn't collapse in a heap.

Movers come Friday at 9am. Mostly, I'm hiring them to move the heavy furniture. However, I'll have them take as many boxes as possible too. There are still plenty of moments when I feel like there's no way I'm going to be ready for them. However, today feels pretty good.

I haven't done anything with the bathroom, but it's a small room, probably a ten minute job. I need to finish the kitchen, and pack what few fragile "dust collectors" are out. I need to pack the cookbooks, as they've only been sorted, and deal with the last of the randomness on the table. After that, it's mostly just random items that need to be safely packed.

This took several hours to complete. Maybe three? Two or three, of solid work. Now if only I could crank like this on my thesis.

[BlueKangaroo]

Okay, one last bump. Tomorrow's a new month. I don't know if it'd be better to bump this one or plan to start a new one, but I figured I'd bump this one, and then start next month with a clean slate. So to speak.

I have emptied my old house of all but frozen/refrigerated food, two large pictures and one large plant. The fridge needs to be cleaned out, but that won't take too long. My ex still has a few things in there, but he has said he's coming tonight to get them.

Thanks to GingerOfTheNorth, my new place is already somewhat homey. I think I'll also be able to keep it clean, but we'll see on that. I guess that's what next month's thread is for. ;)

My cat currently hates me, but I suspect she'll get over it.

My thesis is mostly done. Two of three chapters are done, and the third is maybe halfway there. Of course, the half that's left is deadly, but I expect I'll be able to get it. I hope so, anyway. The defense is in just under three weeks, so I'm down to the wire. And, of course, scared out of my mind. I don't hate my committee yet, so according to at least one member of said committee, I can't possibly be done with my thesis. That also scares me. Technically, I've done enough to allow me to bribe myself with the two skirts I've been wanting, but now I just want to get it written. I guess the bribe can wait.

I've gone through a few boxes of stuff, and started labeling things to go away. I still have a tendency to not want to get rid of things that still have some use, and I'm not sure how to deal with it when I suspect it's something even freecyclers won't want (a ceramic unicorn statue with a broken and missing horn, or a shower pouf on a handle for back washing, for example). Still I managed and will manage to get rid of a lot more stuff than I thought I would, and some of it pretty weird. I do love freecycle.

I hope everyone else is also doing well.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

I've been keeping an eye on these threads. I just needed to pop in here and say that all I did was unpack a few boxes and make the bed.

[BiblioCat]

I've been keeping an eye on these threads. I just needed to pop in here and say that all I did was unpack a few boxes and make the bed.We're going to have to start paying you - The GingerOfTheNorth Packing & Moving Service.
"Tell all your divorced friends!"
:)