The most unreasonable request that's been made of you?

[Kayeby]

Mine is pretty mild as things go. Several years ago a fairly good friend of mine were really into buying and selling clothes on eBay. She was very needy, very competitive and, as I later found out through experience, had a habit of borrowing money to buy designer clothes and refusing to pay it back.

Anyway, I had loaned her a couple hundred dollars to buy a pair of jeans and was having trouble getting her to repay me. Our friendship was very definitely strained and then she messaged me online saying that she had purchased some clothes from a US seller and they only took PayPal so she needed my credit card to pay her. I was a pussy so I went the non-confrontational route and lied about my credit card being maxed out. So she said, "well the seller is really annoyed that I haven't paid her yet. Can you give me your dad's credit card number?"

What?!

I told her that I was absolutely not comfortable with giving out my dad's credit card number and that if she was so desperate for a credit card she should sign up for her own. "I couldn't do that," she said "I don't trust myself with one." So she didn't trust herself with a credit card but still wanted my/my dad's credit card details so she could go on an online shopping spree! She was annoyed that I wouldn't budge, and to this day she probably doesn't realise how unreasonable her request was.



So what's the most unreasonable/entitled/inappropriate request that has been made of you, and what was your reaction?

[Freudian Push Up Bra]

Not made of myself but of an aunt's friend. Mandy is a loving mother to her two children, six and four. Being a mother of two, it's reasonable to believe she has her hands full. Not so, according to another friend, Allie. She also has two kids, eighteen months and five. She is always asking Mandy to babysit her two children, who are fine in their own respects but Mandy works from home!

My aunt couldn't believe Allie always asks (and gets!) Mandy to babysit her kids when Mandy has two kids of her own and work to do.

[Siam Sam]

I was (at least once) told to go screw myself. It should have been perfectly obvious that it doesn't bend like that.

[Manatee]

A student came up to me on the last day of class and said "Um, I haven't been to class in the past few weeks; could you tell me what I need to know for the final?"

Me: "So you want me to sum up five weeks' worth of readings in five minutes?"

Her: "Um...yeah?"

Me: "Bwah ha ha!"

Several students waiting to ask real questions joined in on the laughter.

[Zulema]

My friend was going through a divorce and had to sell her house and have a garage sale. She called me up the night before the weekly realtor tour, crying because she couldn't get certain things done in the house in time. I went over because I felt sorry for her that her husband wouldn't help.

I get there and her teenage son is playing on the computer and she won't make him help her and I find out that she had been out late at the bar every night for the past week.

The night before her garage sale she calls me crying because she's not ready. I go over to help her and find out she's been at the bar every night for the past week. I would have gone either way, I'm always finding things she has borrowed from me at her garage sales and it's my only chance to get them back.

Same friend calls me crying because she wants to borrow money to pay her rent. Well, I know that she has made some fairly large frivolous purchases over the past few weeks that more than add up to what she wants to borrow. I said no.

One weekend a long time ago I'm watching her dog at my house while she goes on a family vacation. She asks me to return a movie for her and I agree. I ask her if I am returning it to her usual place which is out of their way but I usually go by every day and she says no. It was borrowed from a place they are driving by on their way out of town. They just don't want to stop.

Same friend. I babysat her kids for a week. She comes to pick them up Friday, the day I am to get paid, and tells me about $80.00 worth of illegal fireworks they just bought. She then asks if she can pay me the next week since they don't have enough money to pay me right then.

Same friend. I'm helping her move and she has one small carload of things left to take. We are in the parking lot talking and I am about to go home. She whines "Aren't you going to help me get the rest of the things?" This is on top of all the whining about how tired she is from moving. I have done more dragging around of stuff than her and I am tired of her moving too.

I realize I have many example all from the same friend. The only reason I am halfway good natured about it is that she would do all those things for me but I would never ask.

[Rigamarole]

Some homeless woman wanted to store a bike and a bunch of other shit in my apartment for 6 months. I was speechless, just kind of raised my eyebrows at her. Then she asked me for money like every other degenerate around here inevitably does. Should have known better than to give her the time of day.

[Cicero]

SP 2263- you must be a very forgiving person.

[Rigamarole]

My friend was going through a divorce and had to sell her house and have a garage sale. She called me up the night before the weekly realtor tour, crying because she couldn't get certain things done in the house in time. I went over because I felt sorry for her that her husband wouldn't help.

I get there and her teenage son is playing on the computer and she won't make him help her and I find out that she had been out late at the bar every night for the past week.

The night before her garage sale she calls me crying because she's not ready. I go over to help her and find out she's been at the bar every night for the past week. I would have gone either way, I'm always finding things she has borrowed from me at her garage sales and it's my only chance to get them back.

Same friend calls me crying because she wants to borrow money to pay her rent. Well, I know that she has made some fairly large frivolous purchases over the past few weeks that more than add up to what she wants to borrow. I said no.

One weekend a long time ago I'm watching her dog at my house while she goes on a family vacation. She asks me to return a movie for her and I agree. I ask her if I am returning it to her usual place which is out of their way but I usually go by every day and she says no. It was borrowed from a place they are driving by on their way out of town. They just don't want to stop.

Same friend. I babysat her kids for a week. She comes to pick them up Friday, the day I am to get paid, and tells me about $80.00 worth of illegal fireworks they just bought. She then asks if she can pay me the next week since they don't have enough money to pay me right then.

Same friend. I'm helping her move and she has one small carload of things left to take. We are in the parking lot talking and I am about to go home. She whines "Aren't you going to help me get the rest of the things?" This is on top of all the whining about how tired she is from moving. I have done more dragging around of stuff than her and I am tired of her moving too.

I realize I have many example all from the same friend. The only reason I am halfway good natured about it is that she would do all those things for me but I would never ask.

Wow, some friend!

That sorta reminds me of this nutcase girl I used to know. She left a message on my machine one night sobbing uncontrollably, and mumbling something unintelligible. I seriously thought someone had died, or she had been in a terrible accident. I called her back to find out that the reason she was sobbing was because she had a law school exam coming up, and she couldn't get the software she needed to study with to run properly on her laptop. But that's not even the crazy part.

Despite the fact that I was actually about to go to bed, being the nice guy that I was, I offered to bring my laptop over to her apartment (I had to tredge through the ghetto late at night to get there) and see if I could help her get it running. When I finally get there, she is completely calm and composed as if nothing happened. She tells me not to worry about it, because she realized she can go to the computer lab tomorrow and run the software there. "But thanks for coming over", she says as she turns me around. (no, there was nothing romantic going on between me and her, as a matter of fact she was paying me to be her "personal assistant")

[SurrenderDorothy]

It's about 10:30 on a Thursday night and I'm doing homework

My little sister comes up behind me with a bundle of shiny pink fabric and some pretty gold ropey stuff

"Izzy."
"hmm... oh, that's pretty..."
"Mom said you'd make me a costume for my prayer service."
"oh she did, did she? when's your prayer service?"
"tomorrow."

grrrrrrrrrrr. So I roll my eyes because I'm a brat and that's what I do and grab her fabric.

"what are you wearing underneath it? you want like a toga thing or what?"

"I'm not wearing anything underneath it. I want a dress."


okay now first of all, nobody in my family sews and so I'm not one of those girls who sewed my dolls dresses at five. I've learned a few basics by helpig with costumes and sewing up my dance shoes and such. I cannot create a gown out of slippery material with no pattern in one night. I know some people are that magical, but the fact that I can stitch up a zipper backstage or sew the ribbons onto my toe shoes doesn't mean I'm able to make my sister a dress from scratch just becuase it happens to be a costume. And it CERTAINLY doesn't mean I'm willing. Particularly when I have my own homework to do.


... I ended up finding a little white nightie and draping and safety-pinning the pink fabric to it. She cried becuase I didn't make her a brand new costume dress. oh well.

[Zsofia]

Well, at work I once had a patron blow all up at me on the phone because I wouldn't do what she asked. She was sure that the article she was looking for was in the newspaper sometime in the 20's or 30's, and she could describe the picture to me. Why on earth couldn't I just sit down and look for it in the microfilm?

She called my boss after to complain about how rude I was. She wasn't even a county library card holder!

[Fugazi]

Recently, my wife and I seperated due to her thinking having another guy would be a great thing. So he borrows her car, drives to Colorado Springs, gets drunk, and totals it.

She asks me to co-sign for her to get a new car. She also wanted me to put her new car on my insurance.

[OneCentStamp]

<OneCentStamp drags a five gallon office water cooler full of "FUCK YOU" into the thread.>

Here, everybody, help yourselves. Here, have a cup, SP2263. You too, Fugazi. Everyone line up and get a cupful. OK, everyone got some? Now please distribute this to your friends.

:D :mad:

[DeVena]

I work for a State environmental agency. Once upon a time, I was dating a lawyer and he asked me to get him copies of a certain company's files. "Umm, sure. But wouldn't it just be easier for you to come down and go through the files and just copy what you need?" No, silly girl. He wanted copies of the "secret" file. The stuff that the public doesn't see. "All documents go in the files. Nothing is kept separately. All files are public records. The public can see whatever they want." Then he gets mad and says I'm being unreasonable, unfairly keeping him from the information he needs to win a lawsuit against the company.

:dubious: Sweetie, that's just wishful thinking. This agency is poorly funded, barely able to keep up with governmental mandates, and all the smart employees get real jobs in the regulated community and leave us as quickly as possible. I've got an assistant who truly can't understand alphabetical order. In what world would we be so organized to be able to keep up with both a "secret" and a public file?

[chrisk]

I work for a State environmental agency. Once upon a time, I was dating a lawyer and he asked me to get him copies of a certain company's files. "Umm, sure. But wouldn't it just be easier for you to come down and go through the files and just copy what you need?" No, silly girl. He wanted copies of the "secret" file. The stuff that the public doesn't see. "All documents go in the files. Nothing is kept separately. All files are public records. The public can see whatever they want." Then he gets mad and says I'm being unreasonable, unfairly keeping him from the information he needs to win a lawsuit against the company.

:dubious: Sweetie, that's just wishful thinking. This agency is poorly funded, barely able to keep up with governmental mandates, and all the smart employees get real jobs in the regulated community and leave us as quickly as possible. I've got an assistant who truly can't understand alphabetical order. In what world would we be so organized to be able to keep up with both a "secret" and a public file?

And if I read this right, he never bothers to take a look at what's in the real file to see if there's something really damaging that the public CAN see? ;)

[Redfrost]

"Hey, get off the SDMB and do your job lameass!"

Yeah, as if...

:D

[fuffle]

Mine's small, but it still makes me mad years later. My friend and I were planning a two-week trip together which then expanded to include her best friend, who I had never met, as well as some other folks. When we arrived at the island where we would be staying, we found that it was a long trek from the boat to the cabin and we all had bags. Best friend turns to me and says down her nose at me, "I need you to carry my bag."

This girl is neither disabled nor injured in any way. She does not have more luggage or a significantly heavier bag than any of us. I had a bag of my own. And I had just met this girl! I didn't want to make a scene, so I just mumbled something like, "Um, no, I've got to carry my own bag." And she glares at me furiously and hisses, "Friends are supposed to help each other." And she would barely speak to me the whole rest of the trip. I guess I should've helped my friend.

[Aguecheek]

One of my roommates in university wanted me to shave his (unnaturally hirsute) back for him before he left for reading week in Florida.

I laughed at him.

[vivalostwages]

A student came up to me on the last day of class and said "Um, I haven't been to class in the past few weeks; could you tell me what I need to know for the final?"

Me: "So you want me to sum up five weeks' worth of readings in five minutes?"

Her: "Um...yeah?"

Me: "Bwah ha ha!"

Several students waiting to ask real questions joined in on the laughter.

Good one!

Here's another: (from a student in a class that meets at 8am): "Professor, didn't you get the email I sent you with my paper attached and my explanation about why it was late? I wanted you to check it over for me."

me: "No. When did you send it?"

Student: "Two a.m. this morning."
---------------------------------------------------------------
When my SIL was taking an online course, she would email her papers to me around 11pm and ask that I check them over because they were due at midnight.


Sigh.

[Buckwheat]

A co-worker was packing up to move across the country. When he went to rent a trailer they told him his vehicle was too small for the trailer, and would not rent it to him.

So he asks if he can borrow my truck just long enough to rent the trailer and then he will go ahead and use his own vehicle to tow it.

I said "What? No way, because if anything happens it will be MY license plate number they have!"

His response: "We could swap license plates when I rent it."

:smack:

[Mr Jim]

My friend came to visit fr the weekend. We were having our last meal in Chinatown on a lazy Sunday night and then she was going straight to the airport. As we finished dinner she realised she had forgotten her make-up bag. She asked me if I would run home, pick up the make up case and meet her at Heathrow. When I declined, she asked if I could ask my flatmate to bring it since she was already home and it would only take her round trip 3 or 4 hours. She almost had a nervous breakdown at the thought of going to work with no make up. I advised that she could pick up some basics for under a tenner and that I would post her the bag (at my own expense) by next day delivery so she would get it Tuesday. Never did receive a thank you!

[PoorYorick]

I rented a moving truck to move my things out after a very unamicable break up with my girl friend. The kind where we're not speaking to each other the entire time I'm packing up, yet she's following me around to make sure I don't steal any of her stuff (as if I ever did anythig like that before). Very uncomfortable.

After I finished and was about to drive away, she asked if she could borrow the truck. When she saw my jaw drop, she said, "We'll you've rented it for the whole day. Why should it go to waste?"

Now, I've been know to be a door mat more than a few times, but this one just had me shaking my head.

[Tully Mars]

Y'all should meet my Good Neighbor Dennis. No request is too unreasonable. I've learned over the years that I'll spend less time if I just do whatever it is he's asking about and get it over with.

The most egregious example that comes to mind: I returned to my suburban home from my country estate about 8:30 P.M. one summer Sunday evening. I had worked in the hot sun most of the day, followed by a three hour drive. I was exhausted, seriously dirty, and dehydrated to the point of muscle cramps. When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed his dishwasher sitting on his patio and the patio door open where he could see my driveway. He was waiting, like a hungry lion waiting to spring his ambush. While I was gathering up my dirty clothes totake into the house, he sprang.

"Can I ask you a question?"

With much trepidation, "Sure."

"Do you have any of that white stuff [teflon tape] you use to put around the thing that hooks up to the water thing? Can you come over and look at this to see if I'm doing it right."

Well, he wasn't doing it right or wrong because the new dishwasher was just sitting there. All he had done was taken it out of the box. I didn't ask if he had been waiting all weekend for me to come home.

I didn't say anything, I just went back to the truck and got the tools. Within an hour, I had the dishwasher installed. Just how I intended to spend my Sunday night.

Just last Saturday, he asked me about trimming his tree (a story worthy of its own Pit rant). I got out my pole saw and started to hand it to him. Then I realized that the cutter on it did work because he broke the spring on it the last time he borrowed it. Then (the unreasonable request part) he asked to borrow my chain saw. I had to refuse that request because the saw is a heavy, high compression, professional saw with no safety features. When I offered to trim the tree for him, so said he had to go to work soon. So, that task is still pending.

[tdn]

An ex once read in Martha Stuart's magazine that botanists had developed brown roses. As they were new and exotic, they'd cost about 4 times as much as red roses. Ex insisted that I get her a dozen on her birthday. Not the day before, not the day after. Her birthday was on February 14. Estimated cost on that day? About $300. In the weeks prior, I practically killed myself visiting every florist in the city. Not one of them had heard of such a rose. I bought what looked close as samples, but they weren't them and they weren't good enough. Ex warned me that if I didn't come through, things would get rather chilly in the bedroom.

Which was fine by me, I'd lost all attraction to her anyway.

Come to find out, no such rose has ever existed.

[amijane]

Yesterday: an elderly friend of mine has emphysema, and possibly lung cancer (she has patches on her lungs, biopsy not back yet). She lives off her small pension. She has a prescription for nicotine patches (and she can fill prescriptions free) but choses to still smoke as she's "too old to try giving up now". She still spends the majority of her weekly pension money on smokes. That's her choice and I'm not about to lecture her on it as she's an adult.

She asked me over especially yesterday just to ask if I can give her - not lend, give - £400 for some bills she's behind with. She's elderly, not eating very well due to spending all her money on smokes, her health is getting worse, and I'm her only emotional support available as her family all lives on the other side of the country. Her phone, cable and net connection have been cut off due to non-payment. Her refridgerator's just broken down and is not working. Her kitchen is bare of food. So, to my friend? Thanks just a bundle for putting me in the position of having to say no to a sick, possibly dying, emotionally and physically fragile old lady who is going hungry every day when you know darn well I don't actually have £400 right now. That felt just marvellous. Hey, how about not spending all your money on cigarettes and giving those free nicotine patches a try, then buying some food?

[Dung Beetle]

Ex warned me that if I didn't come through, things would get rather chilly in the bedroom.


Forget the roses, where do you find these crazy women?

[corkboard]

An ex once read in Martha Stuart's magazine that botanists had developed brown roses. As they were new and exotic, they'd cost about 4 times as much as red roses. Ex insisted that I get her a dozen on her birthday. Not the day before, not the day after. Her birthday was on February 14. Estimated cost on that day? About $300. In the weeks prior, I practically killed myself visiting every florist in the city. Not one of them had heard of such a rose. I bought what looked close as samples, but they weren't them and they weren't good enough. Ex warned me that if I didn't come through, things would get rather chilly in the bedroom.

Which was fine by me, I'd lost all attraction to her anyway.

Come to find out, no such rose has ever existed.
I have a much cheaper solution to coming up with some brown roses for someone with such a sense of entitlement. It involves a dozen red roses, and fiber.

[descamisado]

In my mid-twenties, I met a very attractive guy in a gay nightclub. After seeing each other maybe 3 times over two weeks, he comes over one Sunday afternoon.

He ended up asking me to co-sign a loan at the bank for him for a serious amount of money.

He somehow got the impression that he needed to leave soon thereafter. :D

And I'd didn't even get any. :(

[A.R. Cane]

There's a rental house next to me. A few years ago a couple moved in and the guy made friendly gestures, usually coming over everytime he saw me outside. It was OK at first, but got old pretty fast. Then I didn't see him for awhile and he was noticable in his absence, pleasantly so. Then one day his wife catches me out working in my yard. She goes into this long tale about his having been unfairly arrested. According to her he was walking in a warehouse district, something about his car being broken down, and him looking for a phone, when the police arrest him for B&E. I've hardly ever spoken to this woman before, now she's telling me all this. Next comes the hook, can I lend her the bail money, a couple thousand, to get him out. WTF, I can't believe she's asking this. I tell her I don't have it....and then, believe it or not..... she tells me that I can put my house up as collateral???
I never saw him again and the house was empty a few weeks later.

[OneCentStamp]

There's a rental house next to me. A few years ago a couple moved in and the guy made friendly gestures, usually coming over everytime he saw me outside. It was OK at first, but got old pretty fast. Then I didn't see him for awhile and he was noticable in his absence, pleasantly so. Then one day his wife catches me out working in my yard. She goes into this long tale about his having been unfairly arrested. According to her he was walking in a warehouse district, something about his car being broken down, and him looking for a phone, when the police arrest him for B&E. I've hardly ever spoken to this woman before, now she's telling me all this. Next comes the hook, can I lend her the bail money, a couple thousand, to get him out. WTF, I can't believe she's asking this. I tell her I don't have it....and then, believe it or not..... she tells me that I can put my house up as collateral???
I never saw him again and the house was empty a few weeks later.
Where the hell do these people COME from? I would be hesitant to ask this of my best friend. Scratch that. I would rather sit in jail than ask this of my best friend. Ditto for most of these other requests.

:confused:

[tdn]

Forget the roses, where do you find these crazy women?
I do seem to attract women with a sense of entitlement. Just two months before, she "asked" for earrings for Christmas. Pearl. And not just any pearl earrings. Tiffany. She practically pushed me out the door to go buy them. And this was while she was living with me and not paying a stitch of rent.

She was better than the previous GF, though. I'd often offer to make dinner for her (I'm fabulous in the kitchen, babe). Usually I'd need about $10 worth of food from the supermarket down the street. I knew I was introuble if she offered to go with me. Every single time she'd remember a few things she needed for herself. And by "a few", I mean an entire shopping cart full of steak and caviar. Of course, since it was me doing the shopping, I got to pay for all of this. If I asked her to chip in a little, she'd blow up about how "no one else treats me like this."

[Pixisis]

Here's some documentation you can read on the plane. Now fly to Texas to train people on some software you've never seen. :smack:

[tdn]

I have a much cheaper solution to coming up with some brown roses for someone with such a sense of entitlement. It involves a dozen red roses, and fiber.
The actual solution to this involved far more that a dozen red roses. In the week before Valentine's Day, she got a job at a florist. Her lust for roses was quickly cured.

[InappropriateHumor]

Dang, people never cease to amaze me, in a bad way.

My best friend from grade school, whom we'll call Mimi, since everything was about her, is one of the Entitled Ones.

When I would get money for my birthday or as a reward for good grades or for chores at home, Mimi would insist we compare the amount of money each one of us had. If I had more, and I usually did, she would insist that I give her some until we were "even". I was a complete idiot, so I did. This was a roughly biweekly occurrence.

High school came and Mimi would insist we "get ready" (primp) to go out together. This was so she could use my bedroom as a staging area while she commandeered my cosmetics, clothes, mirror, etc. Then she would bitch at me after her hour-long primping session that I wasn't ready yet. You're wearing my clothes, ya' butt!

After graduation we "lost" contact for a few years. I got a phone call from her out of the blue one day. She wanted to ask me for a little favor. She had married some money and they had a nice big house and a sweet little boy. Mimi's neighbor had a dog that would bark all the time and had come into her (Mimi's) yard while her son was outside. She had talked with the neighbor, and they for some reason had agreed to get rid of the dog. The neighbor had put a "free to good home" ad in the paper. Mimi's idea was that I would answer the ad, get the dog and take it to the pound. I told her no, but used a whole lot more words, and that was the last I heard of her for many more years.

I see her occasionally now and her speech and mannerisms are so affected it makes me sad. She calls me "darling" for God's sake.

[henrijohns]

My brother in law was shocked when I turned him down, then went to all my relatives to complain and ask them to make me reconsider
His request: I should let him keep his pet bird in my house uncaged and crapping on my carpet.

The nerve. And he never caught on why I would turn him down.

[Swallowed My Cellphone]

His request: I should let him keep his pet bird in my house uncaged and crapping on my carpet.Well, if you barbecued it first, there wouldn't be a problem.

[Ellen Cherry]

I've had to forgive this woman for these actions, or else I'd be eaten up with hatred. But it bothered me terribly for years.

My first child was born with a heart defect, and required open heart surgery. I scheduled to take off work several weeks. Just prior to leaving, someone several steps above me in rank began micromanaging the work of our department. Unhappy with a piece I'd produced, she suggested I take it along to the hospital and proof/edit/write on it so I'd have "something to do" while hanging around the boring old hospital. Where my only child was ill--where I would have plenty to do, for God's sake, not to mention how out of my mind I was with worry and fear. Later, after the child's death, I came back to work, and after a few weeks I wanted to bury myself in work. I took on freelance jobs in addition to more work in my office. Seeing how consumed I was in work, this woman praised me for the good job I was doing and particularly how she appreciated me not "playing the poor mother."

Yes, I said I forgave her, but it makes me upset even now, 13 and a half years later.

[Batsinma Belfry]

When my husband and I first started dating, his paternal grandmother died. We were at the funeral home for the viewing. A little background info: My husband and his parents were not close with his dad's people. Infact, they had spent years avoiding them. My FIL's childhood was filled with abuse and neglect and his people give white trash, slack-jawed, incestous, cretins a bad name. At the time, I was 19 years old, quiet, shy, and would rather die than think of offending anyone. Within an hour of meeting these people, one of my husbands aunts pulled me aside and asked for a favor. The grandkids and great grandkids of the deceased, decided they wanted granny to be buried holding one of the roses from the arrangement they had bought. But, nobody actually wanted to touch dear dead granny. And it would mean sooooo much to them if I would place the rose in her hands since it wouldn't bother me. :rolleyes: I really thought I had to do it, and was almost in tears when I found my husband and told him. He was livid, as was his mom. But, the others just couldn't understand why a total stranger would have a problem touching their dead granny.

[nashiitashii]

Later, after the child's death, I came back to work, and after a few weeks I wanted to bury myself in work. I took on freelance jobs in addition to more work in my office. Seeing how consumed I was in work, this woman praised me for the good job I was doing and particularly how she appreciated me not "playing the poor mother."
:eek: :eek: :eek: :mad: :mad: :mad:
I'm not a parent, but this would have had me outraged if someone tried to "compliment" me by telling me they were proud of me by not playing a victim role when someone that close to me had recently died. That woman's got some serious problems if she didn't understand that "burying yourself in work" after a death like that means "trying to avoid overwhelming grief" and she should have been supportive in a less offensive way.

[Scarlett67]

Mr. S has a sister that he . . . avoids. Her first husband went to prison, and her second has barely avoided going there. Their life is a big white trash soap opera.

One day she calls up out of the blue and want to know if her teenage son (whom we've never laid eyes on) could come and live with us for a while, because we're in a different school district and he's been having trouble with getting picked on by some possible gang kids.

Oh yeah, bring that right on! :rolleyes: We told her about the Wisconsin school choice law, by which you can send your kid to any public school district you want. And I think some other options too.

Jesus, we'd have to think long and hard about taking in a non-problem kid that we KNEW and LIKED. Not so much a total stranger!!

[Count Blucher]

The actual solution to this involved far more that a dozen red roses. In the week before Valentine's Day, she got a job at a florist. Her lust for roses was quickly cured.

I'm way too late to post it, but it was technically possible to give her the brown roses she craved (and without all that messy fecal matter too). The trick is to buy them in early January, boxed, and leave them in the box. Then just have the box delivered on Feb 14th. :eek: :D

Of course, the trick would be to find a suitable matching card. And to have your locks & cell # changed prior to delivery.

[Count Blucher]

One of Many:

I was told by my EBS* this Spring that a distant third cousin who had just turned 50 had died suddenly. I was reminded that 'someone from the family' should put in an appearance, because he was very nice, but that it was too long of a drive for her ( Manhattan to Falls Church). The viewing was that night at 7pm. I told her I'd think about whether I could attend. My watch read 10:30AM.

I then moved Heaven & Earth to reschedule all my work, take the rest of the day off as a Personal day, get home & into a suit, and then get back on the road heading south before noon. I'm about 50 miles out when I decided to call her and tell her that the guilt trip worked & I was on my way.

"What? You're going? Aren't you going to drive me...?" :eek: :eek: :eek:

If she had balls, I'm sure she could have rolled her way on down there and arrived an hour ahead of me.


*Evil Bitch Sister

[Anne Neville]

I'm way too late to post it, but it was technically possible to give her the brown roses she craved (and without all that messy fecal matter too). The trick is to buy them in early January, boxed, and leave them in the box. Then just have the box delivered on Feb 14th.

Of course, the trick would be to find a suitable matching card.

You write a card saying, "I hate you. Drop dead.", of course.

[brendon_small]

Mine compares to the ones already mentioned here, of course, in comparison, it is less severe than most.

I worked for a hotel and the manager was wonderful. She interviewed me and two days later called to offer me the job. I had never met the owner yet, but she was given the right to hire me, so she used it. I worked 40 hours for the first 3 weeks, doing good and learning quickly. I was rather proud - I re-organized the way we did nightly paperwork and was given a raise for my good work. After this came Easter - I worked 11pm on Saturday until 7am on Sunday. The girl coming in at 7 had never come in, so I was hanging around the desk at 10. The owner called me and asked me to stay until she got in town and I said sure. I thought she was at her house in town, apparently she was in Tennessee (sidenote: I'm in Ohio). About 9 that night she showed up and I went home. I said, "these things happen, so it's not a huge deal, as long as it doesn't happen often."

I kept working there and was clocking about 50 hours a week, which I never complained about because I needed the money. My problem came in the summer. I was a full-time student at 20 hours, but summer quarter I dropped down to 12 credit hours, so I was right at full-time status and needed to do good in those classes. I was doing well, but work was rough. The manager who had hired me had just left, and the boy who had started working there a month before me took over as manager. I wrote all that to write this - we lost another worker and were down to two of us. I was alright with it, my boss asked me to work 7pm-7am all week (80 hours) and she would hire someone that week. I said "well, you've been good to me as far as work, so I'll try to work this out and we'll be okay"

The completely unreasonable part - the other guy was working the 12 hours a day I was off. On Thursday, he called me at 5pm, while I was sleeping, asking if I would come in early. I asked what was wrong and such, and he explained.

"I haven't had a chance to eat dinner yet and I'm stuck behind the desk so if you would come in and work I could go eat before I go out with my friends tonight."

Brendon Small

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

Mine can't hold a candle to some of these, but it still strikes me as totally unreasonable.

About a year ago, I went to a board game evening with my housemate, Bob*, and some other people, mostly people I knew from work. I met a guy there, Joe*, who had recently started working at the company, and who knew my housemate from some other social activities.

Joe mentioned that he was looking to do some furniture shopping, and had heard I had a large car. Could I help him out with that? I asked when he planned to do this and what furniture he wanted. I was a little uneasy at the imposition, but I figured that I could certainly take an hour of time and help out the new guy in town. It turns out he didn't have anything picked out (he doesn't drive), but just wanted to go around to various places and see what they might have. And there might be a table, and a couch, and some other stuff involved, so it would take multiple trips. I told him that I wasn't wild about spending a whole afternoon on that, but if he could convince Bob to do so, Bob could borrow my car and go with him.

I don't think it ever happened.

*Not their real names.

[StGermain]

My father was dying of lung cancer. He was in the end stage, in a coma. Everyday the Hospice nurse would come and say he couldn't last the night. I was out picking out a grave site for him. I stopped by work to give my boss an update and she told me I needed to come into work, because you just never know how long someone like that will linger. :rolleyes: Right, I'm supposed to leave my dying father's bedside to come in and sit behind a desk and process paperwork. It didn't happen.

StG

[Johnny Hildo]

I'm the family computer doctor for my technologically-unsavvy clan. A few months back, my mother asked me if I could go online and pick out a computer for her brother, a man with whom I was never close. He'd never had a computer before and was even less knowledgable about them than my mother (now that's saying something). I said I would, thinking it would be easy enough to buy a standard Dell package for a n00b user. Then mother says, "If we have it delivered here, do you think you can drive to his house and set it up for him?" Oh, did I mention her brother lives in Montana? :rolleyes:

[Clothahump]

In what world would we be so organized to be able to keep up with both a "secret" and a public file?

Quite obviously, this one. Just ask any conspiracy theorist, because you know the gubmint has all these secret plots against us.


:D

[OneCentStamp]

Joe mentioned that he was looking to do some furniture shopping, and had heard I had a large car. Could I help him out with that?
Reminds me of a sticker on the back window of my old bass player's pickup truck:

Yes, it's mine. No, I won't help you move.

:D

[lisacurl]

My father was dying of lung cancer. He was in the end stage, in a coma. Everyday the Hospice nurse would come and say he couldn't last the night. I was out picking out a grave site for him. I stopped by work to give my boss an update and she told me I needed to come into work, because you just never know how long someone like that will linger. :rolleyes: Right, I'm supposed to leave my dying father's bedside to come in and sit behind a desk and process paperwork. It didn't happen.

StGA coworker experienced a similar unreasonable request at one of my previous places of employment, except it was the Finance Director demanding she leave her dying mother's bedside to come in and process the credit accounts so patients could get refund checks "because she was the only one who knew how to do it." Because the girl was a single mother with three kids and unreliable child support from their fathers, she felt she had to come in and do it. Her mother died while she was at work.

I was furious *for* her, because I was the IT trainer/main support person and I knew the system inside and out. *I* could have run the damn credit accounts if that stupid bastard needed them so badly. I hope he lost all the rest of his hair from his square head.

[PoorYorick]

I hope he lost all the rest of his hair from his square head.
Hey, as a bald guy with a squarish head, I resent that.

:)

[Boyo Jim]

"I wish you would fuck yourself and die."

Really, I wish I COULD fuck myself. :p

[Taber]

Hey, as a bald guy with a squarish head, I resent that.

:)

Well, maybe you should have done the reports yourself then ;)

[matt_mcl]

Seven thousand words... of very bad French... in a day... paid by the hour. RIGHT. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6186734&highlight=translat%2A#post6186734)

[Rigamarole]

Seven thousand words... of very bad French... in a day... paid by the hour. RIGHT. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6186734&highlight=translat%2A#post6186734)

matt, out of curiosity are those Canadian dollars you are quoting in that rant? Even so, I never realized translation was so pricey. Hopefully, if I ever have to translate anything official Babelfish will come through for me. :D

[DiggitCamara]

My sister one day got the idea to learn how to type on a keyboard. So, she got a friend of hers to lend her a 3 1/4 diskette with a program that would help her. (maybe 10 years ago)

She asked me to get the program to work. I tried to get the computer to read the disk. No go. It complained about some sector fault. So, going the extra mile, I ran a program to check and possibly repair the disk (Norton, IIRC). Again: no go.

So I told her she'd have to ask her friend to copy the program again on another diskette. She told me that was the only copy he had. And that I should "fix the program".

I stared at her. :eek: And told her I couldn't simply fix an executable file. (Well, maybe I could but I'd have to work a lot on it and, probably, have to charge her) And she went on a rant saying that I was studying computer sciences and that I should have had the expertise to correct such problems, etc. etc. I simply stopped listening right then and there. :rolleyes:

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

Seven thousand words... of very bad French... in a day... paid by the hour. RIGHT. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6186734&highlight=translat%2A#post6186734)My God! This reminds me of a job offer I got when I was vaguely searching for a job out of college (I was only vaguely searching because I was planning to go to grad school, but on the chance that I didn't get in anwhere I wanted to go, I was looking for a job at the same time). It was with a startup company that was doing audio fingerprinting, and was planning to expand to video fingerprinting with the intended business model of charging for verifying advertisement coverage. Apparently there was big money in automating the watching of TV to verify that companies actually get the ads they paid for aired.

I and several other guys in the CS department were contacted, and there was a series of interviews. The work sounded interesting, and the guy who was talking to us really sounded like he knew what he was talking about. We were all pretty jazzed about the whole thing.

And then the offer came. It was salaried at something ridiculous like $24K, and it was really just a summer internship, with the possibility of more if (unspecified future something). For reference, the average starting salary out of the college I went to was twice that, the CS department tended to be on the high side, and the three of us were in the upper quartile of students in that department. Apparently, there wasn't big money in automating the watching of TV to verify advertisements.

Thanks, but no thanks.

[SnakesCatLady]

I was working at a job I loved; trapping feral cats for vaccination and sterilization, socialization if possible and release in a monitored colony if not. I also cared for the cats available for adoption at the shelter run by the boss. I was the only paid employee for most of the time I worked there. We had hired a couple of people but in all but one case the boss or his girlfriend had run them off, and in that one case the guy "couldn't work with a woman (me) telling him what to do". We mainly worked with volunteers who came in to help clean and feed the cats in the shelter.

The main reason I was hired was for trapping, and I was good at it. We had lots of requests for trapping. However, the boss kept accepting more and more cats into the shelter. Some of these cats were ill and required medication. We had an epidemic of ringworm. All of the cats had to be taken in for sterilization. The volunteers were not allowed to work without my supervision.

I had worked for about 16 months without a single day off. I recently found one of my old time sheets - in two weeks I had logged 127 hours. I did not get paid overtime. I did not have any benefits. I finally gave notice saying that as my repeated requests for a day off had been ignored, I would have to leave. My father-in-law was ill and I needed to have some time off. I was promised every Friday off. I withdrew my notice, and that Friday "something came up" and I would have to work. I was working most days from at least 8am - usually 6 or 7 - to no earlier than 6 and often as late as 10 or 11.

One morning I came in to get some cats to go to the vet, and my boss calls me in with a handful of trapping requests and tells me that I "need to get more trapping done". I asked him what he wanted me to stop doing in order to free up more time for trapping. He replied that I "just need to get up earlier in the morning". This from a man who was never out of bed before noon.

That was the only job I have ever quit without notice. I told him to go straight to hell, dropped the shelter keys on the table, and walked out.

[Caricci]

This is petty compared to most of what's posted here, but it did scar me for life so I'll share. When I was a child of 13, a seventh grader I believe, my dad got married again. His new wife was a widow and soon after their wedding her late husband's father died. My dad hounded me to send my stepmother's former mother in law a sympathy card for months, to the extent of bringing a card to me at my mom's house and trying to physically force a pen in my hand and make me to sign it. I was very shy and embarrassed at the thought of contacting this woman whom I had met only once, being, you know, only a kid of 13 who could rightfully expect her parents to take care of this sort of thing. I do believe I prevailed but both my dad and stepmother still ask me to send cards to people. I either ignore them or tell them to fuck off.

[Queen Bruin]

My sister asked me and my now-husband to help her move. I was cool with that, as her then-husband (rendering tense here is just killing me, heh) was in Watertown, NY (Army). She met him at the apartment complex I was helping her move out of, because his father and brother lived there as well.

Turns out she wasn't the only one moving that day. We were expected to not only move her, but also her FiL and BiL. FiL was nice enough but BiL had sexually harassed me at the wedding and my husband would dearly have loved to kick his ass. We moved all their shit from their top-floor apartment to their new apartment across town before I did a thing for my sister. My husband left because he was seeing red, but I was still young and nice so I stuck around to help my sister move the next town over. BiL decided to show up and give me more crap, at which point I made my sister take me home.

Then there was the time she called me up out of the blue (she only ever communicates to me to 1. Ask me for something, or 2. Brag about something, usually something entirely dumb): "I need you to watch the kids on Monday! (It was Saturday). Friends* are coming out and I need to take them to Disneyland!" She was pissed off when I said I couldn't go because I had a doctor's appointment. Which was true, but I was also tired of being tapped for childcare so she could fritter her money away, and waste my damn time. And she wasn't making any money at all, but living off her BF at the time and that relationship was going down the tubes quickly. Also, she still owed (still does, but I know I'll never see it) me $40 from the time we went to DLand before and she didn't have enough money to get home. :rolleyes:

I am much more proactive now about telling relatives, esp. my sister, a loud, resounding "NO!". Everyone else in the family I think learned this one too. I love my sister, but I can't say I like her much.

*The "friends" were message board folks she had never met before. I'm all for Dopefests n'stuff, but asking me to watch my niece and nephew on short notice for something like that really cheesed me off.

[pinkfreud]

Over the years, I've heard quite a few unreasonable requests, but the worst was when I was working for a state government agency. My boss brought a huge amount of routine paperwork to me when I was in the intensive care unit, the day after I'd had extensive surgery. He had to lie his way into the ICU by saying he was a relative.

He set several stacks of documents down on the floor beside my bed and cheerfully suggested that I might want to work on them "for fun" when I got the time.

[Ferret Herder]

I have a sister-in-law who's the black sheep of the family. She's in her late 40s currently, and has probably been more-or-less continuously abusing drugs and/or alcohol since her pre-teen years. Whenever she gets in trouble of any kind, her family members bail her out - sometimes literally. If one of her siblings doesn't, then her parents do. At one point she was going to be evicted, and she went to her parents for money. They didn't want to take her in, or pay for her back rent, so at one point my father-in-law was going to come speak with my husband and I to ask us to put her up in our basement. Unfinished basement. No bathroom/sink, no kitchen. External door is a non-sealed cellar door of the type that old farmhouses had. In a house we rent and couldn't just add someone to the population of who lived there. My husband just warned me about his dad's plans and I flew off the freaking handle. Besides the unsuitability of the location, she also had a history of stealing from her family members, and I didn't trust her with any remote chance at access to our house. Turns out his dad backed off on the plan, presenting it first as a "joke" and then dropping it completely once we nixed it immediately. Then he had to get in some digs about how we "may as well give her a gun," saying that since all of her siblings were standing firm on this, it was like we wanted her to kill herself. No, I wanted her to hit bottom but no one in that family lets her. Her parents ended up paying the money - guess they didn't want her living in their (large, multi-bedroom) house or basement.

This second incident became more unreasonable in retrospect. A little over a year ago, a different sister-in-law (who lived upstairs from us at the time) came crying to my husband about how she had no one else to turn to, she couldn't talk to anyone else in the family about this, but she was being evicted unless she paid back rent for 5 months :eek: plus court costs. My husband talked it over with me, and he told her that he'd loan her the back rent only, as that was significant enough and the court costs were going to be less than a quarter of that amount. She tried to get more from him but he refused. After many months went by and we'd only been repaid maybe 10% or less of the initial amount (when she should have been more like over 40% done considering what she'd promised she'd repay every pay period, and we also know she got a few grand from their parents for Christmas), he privately made comments to his other siblings about the loan, and found out that she'd gotten a significant chunk of money from all of them, and probably their parents too. So much for not being able to talk to anyone else. Oh yeah, she still owes us a lot of money.

[matt_mcl]

matt, out of curiosity are those Canadian dollars you are quoting in that rant? Even so, I never realized translation was so pricey. Hopefully, if I ever have to translate anything official Babelfish will come through for me. :D

Competent translation is fairly expensive, yes. What I charge is actually rather on the low end of the scale; the company I subcontract for charges I think $0.20-$0.22/word or thereabouts.

[CairoCarol]

Great thread, and as so many before me have said, my story doesn't compete with the real winners.

We have a teenage niece who is getting seriously religious in a bible-thumping sort of way. Last year her church youth group went to the Dominican Republic to spread the word of Christ through ministering unto the poor folks.

Her parents are very comfortable financially and could easily afford the airfare.

But, she contacted all her relatives to ask us to pay her way!

This was not her idea, I assume; the church did it that way. Trying to be charitable about it, I'm assuming they've got kids in the group whose parents can't afford the trip, and rather than single those kids out, they have everyone "fundraise" to pay their way.

Okay, so although I am not pleased by this AT ALL (I'm very big on giving time and money to charitable causes, a lot cooler to missionary work), I can handle it.

But you know what? SHE DIDN'T EVEN WRITE A PERSONAL LETTER. It was a form letter from the church.

Even if the church told her to use the form letter, she and/or her parents should have had the manners to make sure she wrote a personal note to go with it.

Since they are relatives, we paid up and kept our mouths shut. But when my much younger son wanted $2, not $200 as she did, for his charity walk-a-thon, I made him write a personal letter asking.

[Annie-Xmas]

The most recent example in my memory: My boss comes in an hour before I leave on Tuesday (the day before my day off) and gives me a bunch of stuff to do. I tell her I can't get it all done and ask her which ones she needs before Thursday. I do the stuff and get ready to leave.

Suddenly it's "I need this letter to get out right away. Stay and type it and get it ready and I'll take it to the post office." I do all that and don't even get a ride home.

When I come back Thursday, the damn letter is sitting on her desk!

[Aangelica]

First, some background. Once upon a time, I was working as a data analyst for a market research firm. It was a great job for me at the time - I was a full-time student, it paid better than minimum wage, and I could essentially organize my own hours at least 80% of the time. Also, the corporate culture was very, very good.

When I'd been working there about a year, the manager of my department lost his ever-lovin' mind. He decided, apropos of nothing, that he was leaving his wife of 25 years and their children to run away with a stripper he'd met at Starbucks and he was going to go be a pilot. He had never evinced any interest in piloting or airplanes before. So, giving 15 minutes notice, he quit and moved to Arizona to attend pilot school. The assistant manager stepped up.

Right about then, the firm got a truly giant project from one of our clients. A bank was doing significant rebranding and needed a survey of 15,000 customers spread over their demographic range. The damn project had 108 questions and up to 25 open-ended questions, which the data collection people were supposed to capture verbatim and the data analysis people (namely, me) were supposed to code out for analysis. That is a hellacious amount of labor. This project was supposed to last for 3 months.

Two months in, with the firm still not having hired anyone to replace the former manager (not that his replacement was doing a bad job, but we were a person short - which represented 25% of our workforce), the third member of our department (a very nice girl) joined a freaking cult and went to live on their compound in the woods. I swear. Thus, leaving us with 50% of our workforce.

Two days after that, the assistant manager's mother died. As the only relative, he was obliged to fly to Florida and tend to her estate.

Leaving only me. And a hellaciously large project mid-run, along with the other workload.

Fortunately it was summer break.

I started working over 120 hours a week. I was sleeping at the office. I was showering at the office. I was going home only to get clean clothes. The monster project ground on.

Two weeks before it was supposed to be completed (at least before the data gathering stage was scheduled for completion), on a nice sunny Monday, the manager of our bids department - who was responsible for compiling deadlines - came to me and informed me that the project had to be completed and delivered to the client no later than Friday.

She wanted me to code 15,000 responses times 25 questions in four days. That's approximately 250,000 individual responses (give or take - not everyone answered each question). Nevermind that they weren't done gathering the information I was supposedly coding. Nevermind that the amount of material she wanted coded in four fucking days already comprised over 75,000 pages of 8-point, single-spaced text and was only getting larger. Nevermind that I was working 120-hour weeks already. Nevermind I couldn't even give all my working time to this project (we did have other clients). Nevermind that through a perfect storm of events, there was nobody else in the firm was trained to do any of my current responsibilities.

I gave her a long, cold stare and told her it wasn't even possible. Not with 10 times my current workforce was such a thing possible. There was actually, literally, no way it could be done. She might as well have asked me to build a functional spacecraft using only office supplies. They were equally possible.

In point of fact, the original timeline had allowed two weeks after data collection was complete to do the data processing and analysis - which was already going to be a touch-and-go situation. Two weeks with four people had been reasonable and had some cushion built in. Two weeks with three people would have been a little hectic. Two weeks with two people would have been ugly but feasible. Negative three weeks with only me........

Turns out, she'd been chatting with the client, who'd professed a desire to have the data as soon as practicable and, without checking with anyone at all, had promised them their data two weeks before deadline - a deadline I had already informed her (and the rest of management) was extremely unlikely under the circumstances.

After I got through staring at her, and became convinced she was actually serious about this insanity, I grabbed her arm and physically dragged her to the VP's office (the lady in charge of both of us) and made her go through it again. The VP didn't even let her finish before she started swearing like a sailor.

I did end up with a grunt-work apprentice for the duration, though. The Bids Manager whined about it, but she did work the 100-hour weeks with me and learned how to program, code and clean data.

On the plus side, unlike my former managers and the Bids Manager, I was an hourly employee. Let me tell you, the money from that overtime was good. ($10 an hour X 40) + ($15 an hour X 40) + ($30 an hour X 25). I made a lot of money that summer. I didn't have any fun, but I did make a pile of cash.

[gigi]

I took an apartment with an elderly friend of a friend, for a not very reduced rate, to be around in case of emergency. Yeah, I was a sucker, but I did have my own floor of the house and didn't have to do too much. So her daughter is going out of town and wants me to be the one to check on their dog (who is staying with old lady) to see whether she goes into heat. :eek:

Another one? I have no engineering/facilities management background but worked as an assistant (acctg, clerical, etc.) in a facilities dept. I know my boss was giving me projects to expand my experience, but when he told me to draw to scale the HVAC, water, lighting, etc., going on in the ceiling of a huge lab space, I was out of my league. It was part of what drove me to change jobs. I still feel bad that I never got a handle on it, but talk about outside of scope.

[PoorYorick]

. . . to run away with a stripper he'd met at Starbucks. . .
Great story, but I just gotta ask: Since when did Starbucks start hiring strippers?

OK, OK, I know what you meant, but that's how I first read it.

[Annie-Xmas]

The strangest person I ever met had a husband in prison. She asked me if I would go with her to prison to visit him and several of the other inmates who wanted to have an outside friend. :eek:

One of the few times in my life where having no official ID came in handy!

[Alive At Both Ends]

This happened about 25 years ago at my first job. I'd brought in a book I was reading in order to carry on with it during my lunch hour. A co-worker (I'll call him Wanker - it wasn't his real name but it should have been) noticed this and said something along the lines of "That looks interesting, can I borrow it?" He meant right then and there. Well, I hadn't finished it yet so I said no - and in any case I didn't trust him to return it if I did. But the book only cost 60p (as I say, this was 25 years ago), and was in all the bookshops, so I said "why don't you buy a copy?"

Wanker replied "Oh, I don't want to do that. I know, why don't you take it up to the office and photocopy it?"

My then employers took a dim view of employees using their facilities to do personal photocopying. But Wanker wanted me to photocopy an entire book, virtually under the boss's nose, putting my job at risk, so that he could save SIXTY PENCE. Note that he didn't suggest doing it himself.

[cher3]

My SIL got married on the fly the first time to another Navy type. The second time around she decided she wanted the big church wedding with all the trimmings--and all her friends and family were going to pay for it. (Both her parents were dead by this time.) She wanted to hit me and my husband up for the professional photographer. We were both grad students at the time. We sent her fifty bucks.

The wedding plans fell through and we didn't hear from her again for 10 years, when she wanted to introduce us and our small children to the sonshe'd had with some guy we never met and who was currently in prison.

[tdn]

Turns out, she'd been chatting with the client, who'd professed a desire to have the data as soon as practicable and, without checking with anyone at all, had promised them their data two weeks before deadline - a deadline I had already informed her (and the rest of management) was extremely unlikely under the circumstances.
Don't you just love it when a knucklehead makes a promise that you have to keep?

I play guitar, but I haven't kept up with it. Not only am I rusty, but at the time so were my guitar strings.

One day at work, I got a call from a coworker. It seems that a project had been completed for a major client, and they were having a party the next day. Coworker promised them that I was to be the entertainment. I said no. "But I promised!", begged the jerk. Yeah, you promised, but I didn't. Saying yes to this meant that I would have to go far out of my way after work to buy new strings, and spend half an hour of my evening restringing (while I was already totally pressed for time trying to get ready for my weekend plans).

So I said no. The jerk the intimated that if I refused, my job might not be terribly secure. I relented.

Never let a moron set up a gig for you. I was to jam with a client who fancied himself a drummer. Our "stage" was, in fact, a coffee station. We were interrupted constantly by people searching for packets of Sweet 'n' Low. It was the stupidest bullshit I have ever seen.

And now for the punchline: Since I had spent those two hours playing instead of working billable hours, I was told I needed to make them up. I didn't.

[norinew]

Well, this doesn't compare with what some of you folks have posted. But. . .
For the last 15 years of her life, my mother sold Stanley Home Products. One of their most popular products was Degreaser. When my mother died, many of her long-time customers came to the funeral home to pay their respects. So it was no surprise when Mary Ellen walked in on the second night of the viewing. But instead of walking up to the casket, she came to me, and said "I need to buy some Degreaser". I said "Ummmm. . .you know, this is a bad time. My mother died, and I'm really busy" And she said "Well, yeah, I know, but I really need some Degreaser" After several minutes of arguing with this nitwit, my hubby came, and quietly but firmly told her that if she did not leave immediately that he would have her forcibly removed from the premises. Thing is, I'm not sure she even understands why what she did was wrong. :(

Another WTF request, although it didn't make me angry:
My FIL is a great guy, very bright, somewhat eccentric. For many years, he kept dozens of snakes, many of which were poisonous. I, OTOH, had been raised in a household with a mother that was afraid of earthworms. We wouldn't even talk about snakes. Well, hubby and I were living on a 30-acre plot of land in western MD, and FIL was at the house, and he said to me "Hey, if you're ever out cutting the grass, and you see a copperhead, catch it for me, okay?" :eek:
I told him if he wanted a copperhead, he'd just have to go catch it himself!

[Bricker]

By proxy:

We have just finished a massive home remodel, and coincidentally the couple across the street have also been ensnared in a remodel project. I will blame the stress of remodeling for this, because the woman in question is always very nice and very considerate. But on this particular day...

We had hired a guy to do the cement and masonry work. He's an artist -- he really does amazingly solid, well-placed, craftsman-like work. The woman across the street saw what he was doing for us and offered him the job doing the needed masonry work at her place. He agreed, a handshake-type deal.

Two days before he's to start, she tells him sorry, she doesn't need him; she's given the job to the contractor that was doing the rest of their work. But since they loved his work so much, even though they're not going to pay him a cent, could he just come over and explain to their contractor exactly how he did our project, and do a couple of drawings for him, and make out a list of supplies, and watch him as he works so it will be just right?

[Swallowed My Cellphone]

We have just finished a massive home remodel, and coincidentally the couple across the street have also been ensnared in a remodel project. I will blame the stress of remodeling for this, because the woman in question is always very nice and very considerate. But on this particular day... As someone who is in the midst of remodelling a house, I'd say yes, she probably just completely lost her mind temporarily from being overwhelmed.

[panache45]

Back when I lived in NYC, I was working the graveyard shift in a small company. There was an employee named George, who worked the day shift. We didn't know each other at all, except that I'd see him arrive at work as I was leaving. I don't think we ever said one word to each other.

Well, I lived in Manhattan and George lived in New Jersey. One morning, as I was getting ready to leave, George came over to me and handed me a list of about 20 hardware items. He wanted me to go to a hardware store in Brooklyn, where they're having a sale, and buy these items for him. His reasoning was that he had to work during the day, when they're open, and he's too tired to go on Saturday, after working all week.

He was visibly taken aback when I told him I wouldn't even do that for myself, let alone someone I really don't even know. And I especially wouldn't do it for someone who has the chutzpah to ask for such a thing.

[Kayeby]

This is another one on behalf of my fiance. It's something that has annoyed him for awhile, and the next few weeks will determine whether he and some of his coworkers start looking for work elsewhere.


The two groups involved I will call PG (Productive Group) and UG (Useless Group). They are in the same department and share salary budgets but have different managers. UG had one useful team member who did all the work while the rest of UG read newspapers or hung out at the pub. Finally that guy got fed up and threatened to quit, but the company didn't want to lose him so they moved him to another team. Even though he's now working for a different department his salary still comes out of PG/UG's budget, meaning that they can't afford to hire someone to replace him.

So UG's manager realises "hey, my only productive team member is gone and UG don't know how to do their work." So he suggests that they reshuffle everyone so two new teams are made with a mix of PG and UG members. UG's manager, being a spineless idiot, agrees. At every group meeting PG bring up how their new members literally do no work, thereby increasing their own workload, only to get fobbed off by their manager. My fiance told the manager that UG were useless and that he wasn't going to take up their slack, only to be told: "But you're so much more capable than UG. Can't you just do their work for now and gradually hand it over when they are capable?"

You can imagine how PG took that request. They've stopped working overtime without pay, begun documenting more, applied for internal transfers, and started looking for other jobs. When exactly did the business world become all touchy-feely and all "from each according to his ability"?

[Plan B]

I told a colleague that I barely know that he could pretty much use my office any Wednesday AM because I regularly go to a meeting then. It's a great office, great location and if he wants to use it to impress a client that's fine with me. I never asked for any money or gifts, just figured that what goes around comes around and he would probably send me some business some day, and if he didn't no big deal. For about a year he used it pretty regularly and always called ahead of time to make sure I wouldn't be in that day.

Then I didn't hear form him for about six months, until one day he just showed up on a Wednesday when I was in. Fortunately, his client hadn't arrived and I was able to put him in one of my partner's offices for a couple of hours.

[Penchan]

I worked in my family's Thai restaurant growing up, and we have heard some pretty crazy requests over the years. Here are a few off of the top of my head.

This usually takes place when it's insanely busy and someone calls this in: "What kind of dishes do you serve? Do you have anything with chicken?"
Yes, we do and we do tons of stuff with them. We have chicken satays, chicken in curries, salads, various types over rice, stuffed chicken wings, etc. We have about 7 pages of food. What do you want us to do with the chicken?

"Could you read the menu for me and describe what they taste like? I'm not sure what to get."
Again, 7 pages of food and you want descriptions of the food? I'm not a freakin library. Come in and read the menu yourself.

"I want some fried rice, potstickers and lemon chicken."
"Sorry, we can't make that, we're a Thai restaurant, that's Chinese food."
"Don't you have the same ingredients? Can't you make that real quick for me?"
Potstickers take a LONG time to make and I wouldn't if I could.

"Can I get some stir-fried beef with vegetables over rice? But instead of the vegetables, can't I have more beef?"
"Sorry, we can't do that, beef is more costly than vegetables so you can't substitute one thing for another unless you're willing to pay more."
"But I'm taking away one thing and replacing it with another! It makes sense!"
:rolleyes:

"Instead of getting spicy chicken over rice, can I replace that with assorted seafood instead? And for the same price?"
No, we won't be giving you $10-15 worth of seafood for our lunch special price of $5.25.

It's not a request, but I just wanted to add that I'm tired of hearing:
"Can't you make chow mein?"
"Sorry, that's Chinese food, we're Thai."
"Isn't that basically the same thing?"

I hate food service.

[Indygrrl]

Years ago I had a friend crashing on my couch for a couple of weeks that turned into a couple of months. He was a total moocher, but one of those guys that everyone likes because he's funny and really easygoing. However, he was something of a degenerate. I got him a job at the restaurant I worked at and he missed his first day. He had sex with a random girl on my couch while I was upstairs. Etcetera..........

Anyway, he develops this huge nasty boil in the middle of his back and I swear that thing was as big as a fist. He waits and waits to get it looked at because he doesn't have any money. Finally, I give him money and he goes and gets it lanced. He was left with what looked like a huge hole in his back, and it was oozing and red and not something I even wanted to look at. He was having trouble changing the dressing on it and asked me to do it! He wanted me to clean it and bandage it for him. That was too much for me.

Another funny one has to do with my brother and his buddy. I had asked my brother to help me move one Saturday and he agreed to be there at noon. He and his friend waltz in and his friend looks really confused. It turns out my brother told him that I was having a party...........SUPRISE! Lol, I am sure my brother got some serious payback for that.

[Larry Mudd]

I worked in my family's Thai restaurant growing up, and we have heard some pretty crazy requests over the years. Here are a few off of the top of my head...Ha! That reminds me of a situation I had to endure once before:

I took my friends out for dinner at an Indian restaurant to celebrate something or other, and one of my old friends decided, when it was time to order, that he wanted a Margarita. We could not convince him that this was a stupid thing to ask, and so he dropped that on the waiter. Before he could express his astonishment, my other guest and I interrupted with, "M-, this is an Indian restaurant." Still, he persisted with his line of questioning, and made the waiter explain that no, Margaritas were not available there.

Embarrassing enough, right? No. He then went on to ask if they had the fixings to make a Margarita. "Do you have strawberries? Tequila? A blender? Salt? Ice?" "No sir, we don't have strawberries."

"But there's a farmer's market just three blocks away... they're probably still open..."

:smack:

I managed to convince him to try some lassi -- but it was hard.

I wanted to crawl under the table -- it was a place that I went frequently, too -- and I know every time I went after that, the waiter pegged me as The Guy With The Idiot Friend.

[CairoCarol]

Originally posted by Larry Mudd
I took my friends out for dinner at an Indian restaurant to celebrate something or other, and one of my old friends decided, when it was time to order, that he wanted a Margarita. We could not convince him that this was a stupid thing to ask, and so he dropped that on the waiter. Before he could express his astonishment, my other guest and I interrupted with, "M-, this is an Indian restaurant." Still, he persisted with his line of questioning, and made the waiter explain that no, Margaritas were not available there.
Funny. There was an Indian restaurant in Jakarta (probably still is) that made great margaritas. We ate there so often that the waiters all knew us well -- as soon as they saw us, they'd bring us 1 diet coke and 1 margarita, without waiting for us to order.

I miss that place.

[Rilchiam]

No, wait, Larry! You told that before, but you told it better! IIRC, he said, "I know you have a blender because you had to puree the dahl." And he somehow justified the ice and the strawberries too, and then you pointed out the absence of tequila, to which he replied, "Can't someone go to the liquor store and get some?"

I wanted to crawl under the table -- it was a place that I went frequently, too -- and I know every time I went after that, the waiter pegged me as The Guy With The Idiot Friend.

That's unfortunate. But are you sure he held it against you?

[Rigamarole]

Funny. There was an Indian restaurant in Jakarta (probably still is) that made great margaritas. We ate there so often that the waiters all knew us well -- as soon as they saw us, they'd bring us 1 diet coke and 1 margarita, without waiting for us to order.

I miss that place.

Yeah, I was just thinking "why does a restaurant serving Indian food automatically preclude it from serving margaritas?"

But if he really asked them to go get some strawberries... (and anyway, you don't need strawberries for a real margarita)

[Tully Mars]

When exactly did the business world become all touchy-feely and all "from each according to his ability"?Come on, get with the times. This is called "leveraging diversity" and you must embrace it. :)

[FRDE]

A Spanish client once rang me and said:

'The computer says Hard disk failure can you go in on the modem and fix it'

[Dung Beetle]

Probably my worst was when an acquaintance asked to borrow my car for a couple of hours because he had a court date to get to. I loaned it to him, but spent the whole time he was gone mentally writhing in agony over what would happen if he got into an accident or didn't bring it back. He did bring it back, but late, of course!

A lady here in our office was pestering another lady to call a hair salon and make her an appointment. Her reason for not calling on her own behalf? "I'm afraid of talking to people on the phone!" This might have sounded more plausible if she wasn't our freakin' customer service representative.

[Smitty]

As the IT Director at a university, I was in charge of ordering laptops for students (each student got a laptop as part of his tuition). We got a good price since we ordered in bulk. One nut case said that she needed a black laptop instead of the standard one, because she couldn't look at silver. After asking if she was a werewolf, I told her that she was free to go and purchase her own if she didn't like what we had.

When in college I was working part time at a sporting goods store. A woman came in and asked me about the differences between several of the stepper exercise machines. Just as I was getting started, she said, "I'm going to go over into the clothing section, could you just write down the specs on all of these?" I went and dug out the manuals for all of them from the storage closet and handed them to her. She wasn't too pleased.

[Annie-Xmas]

We had a short-lived employee who claimed she had "environmental toxicity disease" and everything made her dizzy, gave her a headache, a stomachache, etc. She used it as an excuse to get everyone else to do her work.

I had worked from 8 to 3 straight on a major problem one day, and went out and bought a cup of coffee and two candy bars. While I was eating them, Ms. ETD started in: "Oh, the chocolate is making me so dizzy. Oh, I'm going to throw up. You have to go outside." Outside was forty degrees and pouring rain. I told her to go outside.

[Rilchiam]

The chocolate you were eating made her dizzy? Was it supposed to be psychosomatic, like she imagined herself eating it? Was it the fragrance? And yes, the person who's going to throw up should be the one to leave. Was she just going to heave in her wastebasket?

[ScareyFaerie]

Some guy asked me to marry him. That was pretty unreasonable. He did have the good grace to look upset when I turned him down though.

I also have a line manager who often walks up two or three flights of stairs to my office so that she can ask me to make one photocopy of one single sheet of paper...after she's had to walk past the photocopier to get to my desk!

[Annie-Xmas]

The chocolate you were eating made her dizzy? Was it supposed to be psychosomatic, like she imagined herself eating it? Was it the fragrance? And yes, the person who's going to throw up should be the one to leave. Was she just going to heave in her wastebasket?

She claimed she couldn't be in the same room as milk. No kidding. I once walked in with a styrofoam cup, and she started getting dizzy from the milk I must have had in the coffee. I told her I was drinking tea with Sweet n Low. "Oh, that sweetner has milk in it. I'm getting so sick."

She was a trip, I tell you.

[Aangelica]

Great story, but I just gotta ask: Since when did Starbucks start hiring strippers?

OK, OK, I know what you meant, but that's how I first read it.

Actually, Starbucks was her day job. Apparently she wasn't that good a stripper. Or something.

It was a weird job overall. Good, but weird. For starters, there was a giant paper mache preying mantis head (and by giant, I mean it was at least three feet at the base) mounted on the wall in our reception area. There was also a costume stored in my server room that would allow an adult human being to resemble a single sperm. Really. A sperm suit.

We're not even going to discuss the fact that my server room was located in a butcher-style walk-in fridge. Apparently my office used to be a blood bank, and when the marketing company took over, they just left all the former hardware intact and adapted it. It was nice and cool in the server room, though.

The VP's office (the one who had my back against the stupidity of our Bids Manager) had 42 pink inflatable Easter Bunnies suspended from the ceiling - doing a macabre sort of dance with the central air.

[Caricci]

Oh, here's one: back in the day I managed the better bags department at Alexander's in NYC. One day this family comes up to me with this snake bag they want to purchase. It's from a pile of very simple, poor quality snake bags on a clearance table. It was marked down to about $13. In the locked case was a different snake bag priced at about $300. They wanted me to take a tag saying "Genuine snake skin" off the $300 bag and put it on their $13 bag. Being 22 at the time I not only refused but gave them a huge lecture on materialism. Now I might just go ahead and do it.

[OpalCat]

I worked for a company that had me become a notary because they were sick of having to run to the bank all the time to get stuff notarized. When I left the company to go back to school, they asked me to leave behind my notary seal so that they could continue notarizing things (forging my signature). Uh... NO? I appreciate that they paid for the seal, but that's, you know, ILLEGAL.

[Larry Mudd]

No, wait, Larry! You told that before, but you told it better! Ftttt. You remember it better than I do. Now I know what membership pays for -- prosthetic long-term memory. :D

And no, I'm reasonably sure the waiter never held it against me - they were always super nice there - even in the face of extreme entitlement.

[chela]

It never hurts to ask , but my god! When we were new in the neighborhood, we had a bunch of our stuff still in the garage. Mr. Friendly came over and spied my soloflex. Told my SO that his son who is in football needs a workout bench and can they have the soloflex. My SO, ever the congenial putz looking to get rid of stuff that clutters his garage says you have to talk to the wife about it Then after a couple weeks Mr Friendly brings his wife over, up until then she is not so friendly, sort of a bitchy jealous, covetous type. Then over drinks Mrs Friendly gives the butterup talk and like a polished marketing scammer they think they close the deal and figure the soloflex is going home with them. Uh uh, I say NO. Not for sale not for free, it aint going home with thee.

The same gal, after I started producing a monthly newsletter for a lake board, calls up and says that she needs to pad her resume and she thought doing the newsletter would be good experience for her. So If I could just come over with my stuff and help get her started she would take it over. I asked her to send me an article on being a good neighbor and I'd see if I had room for it the next month.

The Friendlies are now on the Xango kick and I cannot wait until we meet again. :eek:

[tdn]

"Could you read the menu for me and describe what they taste like? I'm not sure what to get."
Again, 7 pages of food and you want descriptions of the food? I'm not a freakin library. Come in and read the menu yourself.
That reminds me of when I was a video store clerk. Invariably on a Saturday night, when we were very busy, I'd get a call from someone wanting to know what recent movies we had in. I'd start to rattle off names, and the person would interrupt me after each title to announce it to his friends in the room, who would either ask what it was about, or debate the merits of renting it. Then the person would ask what else we had in. This would potentially go on for about 40 movies. In actuality I never let it.

[tdn]

I asked her to send me an article on being a good neighbor and I'd see if I had room for it the next month.
Boo-yeah! Nice response!

How did she react?

[Reepicheep]

It was a weird job overall. Good, but weird. For starters, there was a giant paper mache preying mantis head (and by giant, I mean it was at least three feet at the base) mounted on the wall in our reception area. There was also a costume stored in my server room that would allow an adult human being to resemble a single sperm. Really. A sperm suit.

We're not even going to discuss the fact that my server room was located in a butcher-style walk-in fridge. Apparently my office used to be a blood bank, and when the marketing company took over, they just left all the former hardware intact and adapted it. It was nice and cool in the server room, though.

The VP's office (the one who had my back against the stupidity of our Bids Manager) had 42 pink inflatable Easter Bunnies suspended from the ceiling - doing a macabre sort of dance with the central air.


Do you have pictures?

[Tibby or Not Tibby]

Not a day goes by that my sweetie doesn’t ask me for something new that she sees advertised on TV or in print—nothing of substance, just frivolous things that she’ll enjoy for a day or two then toss aside for something newer and more exiting. She’s very needy and co-dependant too, expecting me to spend an inordinate amount of time tending to her precious needs (my needs?…not important). She even expects me buy her fancy clothes and food (God forbid I should expect her to make me a meal once in a while). Oh, and quite the finicky lass she is too. If we’re at a restaurant and she doesn’t like what I order for her, I can expect a response like, “I don’t like this, please get me something else!” Some may consider me a pushover, but I normally do as she asks, and I get very little in return. I swear, I’d consider telling her to hit the road, but when she looks into my eyes, and tells me she loves me, I melt. We’ll be together for a very long time.

[ASAKMOTSD]

My family sees nothing wrong with asking me to socialize with a step-son that cost me $33,000 in "fees" to the state because of his wrongdoing. I would say that is pretty unreasonable. I think they are fools for socializing with his to start with. I just stay away - very far away....

[Ludovic]

A lady here in our office was pestering another lady to call a hair salon and make her an appointment. Her reason for not calling on her own behalf? "I'm afraid of talking to people on the phone!" This might have sounded more plausible if she wasn't our freakin' customer service representative.
That could be me! Except the "being a customer service representative" part -- I could never do that. You don't get the conversational clues you get with face to face contact, and have too short a time to understand vis a vis email. Plus bad connections, remembering what you should say to leave a short voicemail, etc...

I was IMing with a girl who sort of liked me, and she was asking why I didn't call her cell more, and I said I sort of had a phobia about talking on the phone. Then, 5 minutes later, I told her I had just successfully made reservations for an online gathering over the phone.... :smack:

[OpalCat]

She’s very needy and co-dependant too, expecting me to spend an inordinate amount of time tending to her precious needs (my needs?…not important).
That word... I do not think it means (http://www.habitsmart.com/cdpnt.htm) what you think it means. She is dependent, not codependent. Codependent is more like someone who needs to take care of needy people. People who need somebody to depend on them. In this relationship, you would be the codependent one, because you're the caregiver. Mind you I'm not saying you're actually codependent, just that the dynamic, as I understand it*, is sort of reverse of how you're using the term.


*feel free, someone, to fight my ignorance if I'm wrong here.

[Aangelica]

Do you have pictures?

Sadly, no.

However, if you want pictures of the giant vulture costume that also graced my server room (and whose head also occasionally graced the reception area), PM me and I'll give you the links :)

[Tibby or Not Tibby]

That word... I do not think it means (http://www.habitsmart.com/cdpnt.htm) what you think it means. She is dependent, not codependent. Codependent is more like someone who needs to take care of needy people. People who need somebody to depend on them. In this relationship, you would be the codependent one, because you're the caregiver. Mind you I'm not saying you're actually codependent, just that the dynamic, as I understand it*, is sort of reverse of how you're using the term.


*feel free, someone, to fight my ignorance if I'm wrong here.
You are correct. I was thinking of a cod pendant I’m considering buying her (she likes to fish), and I got confused.

[OpalCat]

Certainly a mistake any of us could have made--indeed probably have made.

[A.R. Cane]

Whoosh!

[chela]

Boo-yeah! Nice response!

How did she react?

She wrote an article or two, I recommended her for a vacancy on the board she made a few meetings, talked down about the people, quickly faded off the scene.

As the stepson didn't really live there, the soloflex was really for the them and they used the sons name to tweak my sympathy.

I still have the soloflex (20plus years) but I asked the guy next door, Scary, if he would store it in his house for me (is that unreasonable?) and in return I'm letting him use it, (yes its still in use) :p

[OpalCat]

Whoosh!
who/where is the whoosh?

[HazelNutCoffee]

When I was working as an ESL teacher back in Seoul, there was a lot of tension between the instructors and the administration. We had arguments over holidays, teaching methods, break time lengths . . . everything down to the color of our socks (well, not really, but it came close). Because I was the only bilingual person on the staff, I ended up translating for every issue whether I was directly invovled or not. So one day our Assistant Director calls me into her office and proceeds to reveal that she is actually insane:

AD: You really should stop taking sides, you know.
Me: Taking sides? On what?
AD: On everything. Whenever we ask you to translate, you take the teachers' side.
Me: Well, I'm sorry, but I hope you realize that I am a teacher as well. You didn't hire me as a translator.
AD: Why are you helping the foreigners?
Me: [long pause, as I try to understand the implications of the question] . . . what?
AD: That won't get you anywhere, you know. Those white people, they pretend to be your friend so they can use you when they need you, but in the end they'll stab you in the back.
Me: [jaw drops] Erm. . .
AD: It's always your own people who help you in the end. [takes on a motherly tone] I hope you remember that when you move to the US. Stick to the Koreans, they're the only ones you can trust.
Me: [afraid to move lest my brain explode] I see. Yes, I'll try to remember.
AD: We just hope you'll help us from now on. Talk to the foreign teachers, and try to help them see that things work differently in Korea. They'll listen to you.
Me: I'll . . . do my best. [staggers quickly out of office in case such stupidity is contagious]

So, basically she wanted me to stop "taking sides" with the foreigners against my own people. :rolleyes: From her tone of voice you'd have thought I was working as a whore selling government secrets to Japan during WWII.

[tdn]

HazelNutCoffee, that really is jaw-dropping stupidity. But please tell me you're Korean, otherwise it becomes face-dropping stupidity.

[HazelNutCoffee]

HazelNutCoffee, that really is jaw-dropping stupidity. But please tell me you're Korean, otherwise it becomes face-dropping stupidity.
Oh, yeah, I'm 100% unadulterated Korean. :) The above really makes no sense if I weren't. I mean, not that it makes much sense to begin with. The thing that angered me most about the whole thing (apart from the blatant racism) was the fact that Korean Americans like myself are treated as outsiders most of the time, but in situations like these we suddenly are expected to be loyal to "our people." I think telling someone they owe you a favor after treating them like shit falls under "unreasonable request." Talk about pretending to be your friend and stabbing you in the back. The irony of the whole thing still makes me gag.

[Auntbeast]

I chose our wedding date to be April 2nd. It was my grandparents wedding date and they stayed married until my grandfather died. I had always assumed he would be the one to walk me down the aisle. So there was MUCH sentimentality with the date we chose.

My husbands uncle was going on vacation with his best friend IN HIS PRIVATE JET, to his PRIVATE ISLAND and asked us to move our wedding date because they weren't flying in until 11am.

I caught no end of flack over this and was pretty much told I don't give a crap about anyone because I wouldn't move the date, because evidently it is easier for me to reschedule florists, photographers, locations, clergy, order new invitations, change flights, etc. than it would be for said uncle to say "Hey, Bob, can we leave an hour earlier? I got a wedding I need to attend."

For the record, our wedding was at noon, the reception was from 1-4 and the uncle never showed up. The reception was 10 minutes from his house and maybe 20 minutes from the airport.

Then again, this is the same guy that charged rent to his father to live in one small bedroom. Even though the father had paid over $400,000 for the lot the house was sitting on. And paying for maid service, and paid their childrens tuition and paid off all their credit cards, and supported and paid his way through medical school.

[Larry Mudd]

Then again, this is the same guy that charged rent to his father to live in one small bedroom. Even though the father had paid over $400,000 for the lot the house was sitting on. And paying for maid service, and paid their childrens tuition and paid off all their credit cards, and supported and paid his way through medical school.I'm curious -- how do you spend any more than a minute or two in the company of someone like that without accidentally stabbing them in the testicles with a meat fork?

[descamisado]

I'm curious -- how do you spend any more than a minute or two in the company of someone like that without accidentally stabbing them in the testicles with a meat fork?For me, there would have been a well-used ladle around at all times too.

[tdn]

Oh, yeah, I'm 100% unadulterated Korean.
Funny, I was just in another thread which had a link to the SDMB frappr map. It has thumbnails of Dopers on the left, and I saw one and said "Wow, who's the babe?"

Gosh, you're cute.

[descamisado]

Funny, I was just in another thread which had a link to the SDMB frappr map. It has thumbnails of Dopers on the left, and I saw one and said "Wow, who's the babe?"

Gosh, you're cute.Can you tell me where that thread is? Thanks.

[tdn]

Can you tell me where that thread is? Thanks.
Here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=419243). Follow the link in post 5.

[Rigamarole]

Here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=419243). Follow the link in post 5.

That's pretty cool! I added myself.

[pbbth]

I once had a friend who called me while I was at work, sobbing that she was going to kill herself. Even though I was the only manager on duty I left and tracked her down to drag her to the hospital. I took a bag of white powder from her and took her to the emergency room since I thought she had just snorted a bunch of cocaine. I gave the bag to the emergency nurses who somehow determined that what was inside was aspirin. She was faking drug abuse for attention! When they figured it out she was committed to a psych ward for several hours. About 2 weeks later she called me and asked me to come over because she had something for me. When I got there she gave me a bill for over $9000 for the time she spent in the hospital since I was the one who made her go I should pay for it right? That is the last time I spoke to her.

[Auntbeast]

I'm curious -- how do you spend any more than a minute or two in the company of someone like that without accidentally stabbing them in the testicles with a meat fork?

Did I mention at his funeral the son stood in front of everyone and told him how he wished he had had the chance to know his father better? I had taken him to lunch every Saturday morning for about a year and a half, we were buddies. One of the kindest things he ever said to me was he wished he had gotten to know me sooner and that I was his best friend.

Yet his own son, whose house he was living in, didn't get a chance to know him better.

Needless to say, we avoid them at every opportunity.

[even sven]

Here it is culturally acceptable to ask for things you don't really expect to get.

I am often approuched by strangers on the street with the request "give me your shoes"

[Rigamarole]

Here it is culturally acceptable to ask for things you don't really expect to get.

I am often approuched by strangers on the street with the request "give me your shoes"

Apparently that happens a lot in Canada (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=419493) too.

[OneCentStamp]

Not a day goes by that my sweetie doesn’t ask me for something new that she sees advertised on TV or in print—nothing of substance, just frivolous things that she’ll enjoy for a day or two then toss aside for something newer and more exiting. She’s very needy and co-dependant too, expecting me to spend an inordinate amount of time tending to her precious needs (my needs?…not important). She even expects me buy her fancy clothes and food (God forbid I should expect her to make me a meal once in a while). Oh, and quite the finicky lass she is too. If we’re at a restaurant and she doesn’t like what I order for her, I can expect a response like, “I don’t like this, please get me something else!” Some may consider me a pushover, but I normally do as she asks, and I get very little in return. I swear, I’d consider telling her to hit the road, but when she looks into my eyes, and tells me she loves me, I melt. We’ll be together for a very long time.
Four year olds get a free pass. :D

[Annie-Xmas]

A tenant who was being evicted asked for my apartment. Really. "Well, you don't need all that space and it's the only apartment I can afford and it's your fault I'm being evicted." Apparently I had the gall to let her landlord know she wasn't paying her rent and should be evicted.

The same bitch called the police when the sheriff came to lock her out. The look on the cops face at seeing the sheriff and me (who he knew) was priceless.

[Tibby or Not Tibby]

Four year olds get a free pass. :D
For your sake, I hope she never catches you calling her a four year old :eek: . She is four and a half—and don’t your forget it. Yes, her mother and I plan to rein her in a bit once she hits kindergarten.

[Rigamarole]

For your sake, I hope she never catches you calling her a four year old :eek: . She is four and a half—and don’t your forget it. Yes, her mother and I plan to rein her in a bit once she hits kindergarten.

Heh, I read your post and seriously believed you were talking about an SO. I was thinking "that poor, poor guy". :D

[Larry Mudd]

Heh, I read your post and seriously believed you were talking about an SO. I was thinking "that poor, poor guy". :D
I suspected he was describing a parent-child relationship, but tripped on "god forbid I ask her to make me a meal once in a while," and thought "nope, he's doomed."

Good one.

[kittenblue]

Okay, here's my contribution. About ten years ago, just a few months after we had gotten divorced, my ex-husband called me from where he was stationed in Germany to ask me to have a third child with him. His rationale was that I had always wanted a third child (true) and that he wouldn't let me have one because I had gained weight with the first two (also true) and the woman he had left me for couldn't have children (true) and he wanted to give me this "gift" because he was truly sorry for how he had hurt me and deceived me for all those years (the hurt and deceived part is right, the truly sorry part...not so much). He swore he would support this third child and me forever, if I would just do this for him. I was, needless to say, stunned. I mean, not only was he not in the country, which meant he was asking for a booty call months in advance, but he was swearing to pay support for this child, when he was unable to pay support for our other two. And he expected me to help him cheat on his girlfriend. To get him off the phone, I told him I'd have to think about it.

I was truly stunned and then angry. He used the one thing he knew would get to me....my desire for another child...to try to get me to sleep with him again so he could assuage some of HIS guilt. Then about four days later, while visiting my mom, the next bombshell was dropped. As I walked through the door my mom tossed me the local paper, turned to the Vital Statistics page, and said, "So, he got married before he left the country?" There was the issuance of a marriage license for Scumball and the Slut. He never told me or the kids he had married her. He'd been calling me from Germany for weeks, begging me to take him back and then asking me to have a baby. This explained why he wasn't able to stop by and see the kids the day before he left the country...he was off getting married!

The next time he called, I waited for him to say anything, and then I finally asked him...."Anything you're forgetting to mention about what you did the day before you left?" and he finally admitted it. I told him he would have to tell the kids before he came home. He said he would, and then never called again. The day before he was scheduled to return I finally told them...that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. They hated The Slut, and had hoped during this stay in Germany he would dump her and meet someone else.

I've forgiven him a lot of things, but I'll never forgive him trying to manipulate me by asking me to have another child with him when he was married to someone else.

[CairoCarol]

Heh, I read your post and seriously believed you were talking about an SO. I was thinking "that poor, poor guy".

You are not alone, Rigamarole. So did I.

I'm hugely relieved, but I feel stupid.

[A.R. Cane]

Okay, here's my contribution. About ten years ago, just a few months after we had gotten divorced, my ex-husband called me from where he was stationed in Germany to ask me to have a third child with him. His rationale was that I had always wanted a third child (true) and that he wouldn't let me have one because I had gained weight with the first two (also true) and the woman he had left me for couldn't have children (true) and he wanted to give me this "gift" because he was truly sorry for how he had hurt me and deceived me for all those years (the hurt and deceived part is right, the truly sorry part...not so much). He swore he would support this third child and me forever, if I would just do this for him. I was, needless to say, stunned. I mean, not only was he not in the country, which meant he was asking for a booty call months in advance, but he was swearing to pay support for this child, when he was unable to pay support for our other two. And he expected me to help him cheat on his girlfriend. To get him off the phone, I told him I'd have to think about it.

I was truly stunned and then angry. He used the one thing he knew would get to me....my desire for another child...to try to get me to sleep with him again so he could assuage some of HIS guilt. Then about four days later, while visiting my mom, the next bombshell was dropped. As I walked through the door my mom tossed me the local paper, turned to the Vital Statistics page, and said, "So, he got married before he left the country?" There was the issuance of a marriage license for Scumball and the Slut. He never told me or the kids he had married her. He'd been calling me from Germany for weeks, begging me to take him back and then asking me to have a baby. This explained why he wasn't able to stop by and see the kids the day before he left the country...he was off getting married!

The next time he called, I waited for him to say anything, and then I finally asked him...."Anything you're forgetting to mention about what you did the day before you left?" and he finally admitted it. I told him he would have to tell the kids before he came home. He said he would, and then never called again. The day before he was scheduled to return I finally told them...that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. They hated The Slut, and had hoped during this stay in Germany he would dump her and meet someone else.

I've forgiven him a lot of things, but I'll never forgive him trying to manipulate me by asking me to have another child with him when he was married to someone else.

WOW! In my day I was a pretty smooth talker, but I never had chutzpah like that. My mother used to say, "Every little dog has their day.". I think you can rest assured that his wiley ways will come back to haunt him, if they haven't already.

[Cheez_Whia]

My sister asked me and my now-husband to help her move. I was cool with that, as her then-husband (rendering tense here is just killing me, heh) was in Watertown, NY (Army). She met him at the apartment complex I was helping her move out of, because his father and brother lived there as well.

Turns out she wasn't the only one moving that day. We were expected to not only move her, but also her FiL and BiL. FiL was nice enough but BiL had sexually harassed me at the wedding and my husband would dearly have loved to kick his ass. We moved all their shit from their top-floor apartment to their new apartment across town before I did a thing for my sister. My husband left because he was seeing red, but I was still young and nice so I stuck around to help my sister move the next town over. BiL decided to show up and give me more crap, at which point I made my sister take me home.

Then there was the time she called me up out of the blue (she only ever communicates to me to 1. Ask me for something, or 2. Brag about something, usually something entirely dumb): "I need you to watch the kids on Monday! (It was Saturday). Friends* are coming out and I need to take them to Disneyland!" She was pissed off when I said I couldn't go because I had a doctor's appointment. Which was true, but I was also tired of being tapped for childcare so she could fritter her money away, and waste my damn time. And she wasn't making any money at all, but living off her BF at the time and that relationship was going down the tubes quickly. Also, she still owed (still does, but I know I'll never see it) me $40 from the time we went to DLand before and she didn't have enough money to get home. :rolleyes:

I am much more proactive now about telling relatives, esp. my sister, a loud, resounding "NO!". Everyone else in the family I think learned this one too. I love my sister, but I can't say I like her much.

*The "friends" were message board folks she had never met before. I'm all for Dopefests n'stuff, but asking me to watch my niece and nephew on short notice for something like that really cheesed me off.

Yep, I've raised one entitled brat and one decent human being. From the same kid:

"I need you to come out here and watch my kids over their Christmas holidays so I can have a break."

Except, at the time, I was working at Sears as a commissioned sales associate. If you want time off at Christmas, you have to quit. And it's also the best time of the year to MAKE MONEY! I told her no.

But the worst one I've ever had was from a store manager when I was an Operations Assistant: "Tell the Inventory Control Clerk she can take her Bereavement Leave after inventory. You know we only have six weeks to go!"

Her HUSBAND had died. I told him no, also. Creep.

[HazelNutCoffee]

Funny, I was just in another thread which had a link to the SDMB frappr map. It has thumbnails of Dopers on the left, and I saw one and said "Wow, who's the babe?"

Gosh, you're cute.
Thank you! :)

I remember in high school when my English teachers used to "request" that I translate school documents "in my spare time" - documents that THEY had been assigned by the administration. I could have charged 20 dollars per page in any other situation but of course they expected me to do them all for free. It's hard to argue with a teacher who has the power to beat you with a big stick.

[Br'er Lapin]

Not the most unreasonable, but..

I was grocery shopping the other day, and after loading my groceries into my car, I started to walk the cart to the cart return a few spaces over. I heard a whistle, looked in the general direction of it, and saw the cart boy, halfway across the parking lot, waving for me to bring my cart to him. Halfway across a rather large parking lot.

I did it, but I was still amazed that he thought it was perfectly acceptable to expect me to walk the cart all the way to him while he just stood there.

[Hostile Dialect]

My roommate/landlord's crazy financial antics have already ruined my credit, driven me about twice as far into debt as I was before I moved in, and forced me to move back in with my parents.

I got his long-stagnant computer up and running--in and of itself a hefty amount of work that any right-minded broke college kid would have charged him for, but I did it for free. I set up cable Internet access in my name after he agreed to pay half of the bill and the fee for the new cable modem, which would be his. He makes at least 1.5 times as much as I do at his job, has more hours, and he also turns a pretty penny from rental income and has tens of thousands of dollars in college savings that he never plans to spend; he could have easily paid for the whole shebang, but I needed Internet access badly as I had research papers due within days, so I agreed to those terms.

So I set up the account and try to hook everything up...only to find that there was not a single god damned cable jack, not one, in the entire two-bedroom apartment. BTW, it is illegal in California to rent out a property without a working cable jack. But since he cut me a deal on the rent, and I needed Internet access fast, I agreed to pay half of the $180 cost of knocking a hole in the wall and installing the cable. I then introduced him to the Internet and showed him how to watch music videos and download music and movies, set an email account up for him and introduced him to chatrooms--more than he would've learned at a $90 community college course. I knew he had a thing for lesbian porn so I promised to teach him how to find it online safely, and warned him not to try it in the meantime because he'd mess up the computer.

Sure enough, it took him less than a day to royally fuck the computer up with porn from the wrong websites. I sighed and grumbled and then proceeded to do hundreds of dollars' worth of software recovery, spyware and adware removal and general computer work for free so I could use his computer for research. (Mine was broken.) And once I got it working again I let him use my headphones to listen to his shitty-ass music--which he blasted so loud I could hear it loud and clear from across the apartment AND HE WAS WEARING MY HEADPHONES. Every single day I had to stop what I was doing several times to remind him to turn the volume down. I mean, it sounded like it was on speakers.

I finally got him to stop raping my headphones and my eardrums with his god-awful Eminem and 90s metal, and then he up and decides that the Internet is free and stops paying for it.

He still owes me $90--a generous figure that doesn't take into account the free computer work, the computer lessons or the illegal cable-jack charge--and while he blows entire paychecks on Jack in the Box and weed he wants me to get the Internet access reinstated and he bitches and whines about how I "got him hooked" on the Internet and then took it away from him. This, while I'm living on scraps to pay off a couple of traffic tickets and get my license reinstated while all of my other debt (much of which he caused) grows interest. Not bloody likely.

Other runner-ups include the "friend" who called me out of the blue one day to ask if I could rent a truck for her in my name for the day to move her motorcycles from one house to another or something--this when I was an 19-year-old college sophomore with no money and virtually no credit. She was a bank teller, at least 10 years older than me and married to a guy without a job who mysteriously showered her in piles of cash regularly (probably from selling weed). She later hooked me up with her hot friend who put on a show of falling in love with me--only to reveal a couple of months after we started dating that she was an illegal immigrant with two kids born out of wedlock and she needed a green card. I actually agreed to marry her (yeah, I was a doormat), but came to my senses and dumped her before we made any serious plans. Then my "friend" called me one night weeping and sobbing about how the girl she'd hooked me up with was getting deported--they even came up with a crazy story about a federal raid on the jewelry store she owned, that didn't hold up to 30 minutes' scrutiny. Then I found out that my ex spoke perfect English (she made me learn conversational Spanish for her) and had in fact been flirting with my other "friend"--who was regularly tagging the first "friend"--in English for the duration of our relationship.

Then the other ridiculous request runner-up: That guy called me up one night after I'd dumped the girl and asked me for her number because his friend was over, they were drunk and they were "getting lonely". I knew full well that he already had her number (which was legit in and of itself since he'd had to pick her up from her work once), so I said, "No, that's not cool" and immediately hung up and called the ex. Fifteen minutes into that conversation, she excused herself to take another call. When she came back, I told him about my "friend"'s request and she acknowledged that it was him, asking her to drive across town to perform sexual favors on him and his buddy. She overtly agreed with me that it was a shitty thing for him to do, but AFAIK as soon as our conversation was over she went down there and sucked them dry. Looking back on all the mistrust of that relationship, I wouldn't be incredibly surprised.

Some guy asked me to marry him. That was pretty unreasonable.

That reminds me of the other unusual request--a girl I'd just met in an International Shipping class asked me to marry her when we started talking at the class break. Apparently she was Brazilian and needed American citizenship so she could move up the ranks at the shipping company where she worked. At least she was honest about it--I gotta give her that. And hell, I might've even agreed to it at a different stage in my life, but I was in the processing-papers stage of joining the military, and throwing in an illegal alien dependent would have probably complicated things a little. Actually, looking back on it, I really should've done it--at least then I wouldn't have been able to join the military!

[Eliahna]

K's been my friend since we were children, but she manages to amaze me sometimes with her unreasonable requests.

This happened about five years ago and I'm sure I've told the story before. K, husband and baby showed up at our house one weekend to find the place in turmoil. We were attempting to strip, sand, paint and reassemble our bedroom in a single weekend, and we were running around like mad people in order to get everything done. Our bed was in the loungeroom, our furniture was pushed all over the place, there were paint tins and drop sheets and brushes and stuff everywhere. She sits down and makes me a fabulous offer - since she and her husband are going out to dinner that night with his parents, she thought she'd let us babysit so we could get in some practice for when we had kids of our own! She added that she thought she and her hubby deserved a nice, relaxing and quiet meal by themselves for a change so she'd decided to offer to let us look after her baby. I'm standing there before her, covered in paint, my home a shambles and she's not just asking me to babysit at the last minute - she's pitching it as doing me a favour?! I declined.

K & I went to school with J. I was friends with both girls, but they were never close to each other - more acquaintances who just happened to hang out with the same people. Anyway, recently I was invited to J's wedding but K wasn't - not unreasonable, as K & J have hardly seen each other in years. I knew she'd probably take it hard so I tried to break it gently to her, rather than have her find out by other means. I mentioned in passing that J was getting married "this month" and let that sink in, and then about four days before I mentioned that I wouldn't be available Saturday because I was going to J's wedding. She seemed to take it really well and I felt relieved. The next day, she IMs me to ask "Hey, can I come to J's wedding with you as your date?". There was no way on earth I wanted to call the bride-to-be and say "Hey, you know how you didn't invite K to your wedding even though you were perfectly capable of doing so if you wanted her there? Yeah, well, can I bring her as my date even though I wasn't invited to bring a date and even though it's only three days until the wedding so you've got all your place settings and catering organised already?". I was staggered that K even suggested it. I was even more surprised to learn later that the following day she'd bumped into the matron of honour and fished for an invitation from her.

K's own wedding was held on a Friday, and at extremely short notice. She blithely informed me that she didn't think it was too much to ask that people take that one day off work because it was such a special occasion - she just has no concept of how difficult it is for some. I honestly didn't think my then-partner was going to be able to do it... it was hard enough for him to get days off for things he wanted to do.

It's hard to hold against her... you know she takes for granted that people will drop everything for her because she's the kind of person who'd drop everything for her friends. It's still frustrating though.

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

This doesn't hold a candle to many of the stories here - I guess I am a really lucky person in that respect! Still, it's kind of amusing.

I was working full time as a lawyer at the time this happened. A friend was planning a birthday party for her husband,* and she was really uptight about all the details. She had several health problems, didn't work, and was basically a shut-in, so I tried to help her out. I didn't say what I really thought when she showed off the colorful plastic pitcher and cups she'd bought for the party - and told me she planned on returning them to the store afterward. I should have taken it as a warning.

Anyway, she was stressing over the cake. I completely understood that she didn't want a grocery-store cake, but I guess she couldn't do it herself or afford a nice bakery, and in the end I responded to some hints by offering to bake a cake for the party. Her response? "Great, thanks! Can you bake a sample cake so I can try it before the party?" Yes, she wanted to test my free, volunteered cake to make sure it was good enough, by having me bake not one but two cakes in the course of about a week, IIRC. I think I was just too flabbergasted to react coherently, and said OK.

At my next opportunity (and with my job, it was not an insignifcant effort), I went to the grocery store and bought something like four pounds of unsalted butter, and all the other ingredients needed to make two cakes. The next day, she called and told me she changed her mind, and was getting a Baskin-Robbins cake! She's just lucky she caught me before I baked the test cake - I think I would have strangled her.

Of course, on the day of the party, we were asked to come a bit early to help out a little. You know, we figured we'd help set out decorations, some final prep work on the food, that kind of thing. Well, in addition to being asked to chop vegetables in a kitchen where every single square inch of countertop was covered with junk, I was requested to iron the hostess's outfit for the party. Finally I came to my senses and begged off. Meanwhile, my husband, who happened to be suffering his first migraine (and therefore didn't realize what was going on enough to say, "No, I have a migraine"), was drafted to clean the pool before the other guests arrived.

When the guests did arrive, our hosts didn't introduce anyone (only two couples had ever met each other before), and we stood around rather awkwardly, until it started to rain, putting a further damper on the pool party/BBQ. We hung in for several hours, then said we had to go, because we'd planned on seeing a movie that night. They were offended we didn't stay longer.

*Not that we knew it was her husband - they got married secretly, IIRC, because they wanted to have a huge ceremony later when her health improved and they had more money.

Second story - my husband's, really:

When my now-husband and I were living together, after college, we got a call from his parents. It turned out they were getting divorced. Over time, it came out that his dad had been cheating on his mom with a woman at work, who was also married. Within, oh, a year or so of the final divorce, we were invited to his dad's wedding to his co-adulterer. My husband had decided he wanted to maintain a relationship with his dad, so we went.

Five minutes before the ceremony, my husband, his sister, and the bride's two minor children were informed they would be part of the ceremony. As you can imagine, none of the kids was too keen, and it was clear the timing was meant to put them on the spot and prevent them saying no. My husband was pushed into being his father's best man, but I really felt for the woman's kids. It was hard enough for my grown, living-on-his-own man to deal with. How'd you like to be ten and manipulated into being in the wedding of your mom to the guy she was schtupping at work, which broke up your family?

[OneCentStamp]

This doesn't hold a candle to many of the stories here - I guess I am a really lucky person in that respect! Still, it's kind of amusing.

<snip two horrible stories>
Don't sell yourself short; those were both pretty bad! :mad: :eek:

[Nawth Chucka]

After my friend's wedding reception, the mother of the bride told me that as a bridesmaid, one of my duties was to help clean up the small hall in the basement of the church where it was held. Food, drink, tables and chairs. Mother couldn't stay to clean up herself, as she had to hurry home to the private *family* party she was hosting for the bride and groom. I was not invited to that party. At this time, I had an upper respiratory infection which I couldn't take off either of my 2 jobs to get over, as I had to save up to go across the state in a rental car to said wedding. (I showed up at the rehearsal to find 2 things I hadn't been told - the rehearsal was semi-formal [I had to go buy another dress immediately] and the bridal shower had been held that morning, without me.)


I left the other 7 suckers in the party to clean and put away; I changed out of my dress and into a hockey jersey, drove a few hours away and watched my home team win a Stanley Cup. I remind myself that weddings make people crazy and their behavior shouldn't be held against them later, unless it continues.

[Nawth Chucka]

After my friend's wedding reception, the mother of the bride told me that as a bridesmaid, one of my duties was to help clean up the small hall in the basement of the church where it was held. Food, drink, tables and chairs. Mother couldn't stay to clean up herself, as she had to hurry home to the private *family* party she was hosting for the bride and groom. I was not invited to that party. At this time, I had an upper respiratory infection which I couldn't take off either of my 2 jobs to get over, as I had to save up to go across the state in a rental car to said wedding. (I showed up at the rehearsal to find 2 things I hadn't been told - the rehearsal was semi-formal [I had to go buy another dress immediately] and the bridal shower had been held that morning, without me.)


I left the other 7 suckers in the party to clean and put away; I changed out of my dress and into a hockey jersey, drove a few hours away and watched my home team win a Stanley Cup. I remind myself that weddings make people crazy and their behavior shouldn't be held against them later, unless it continues.

[Larry Mudd]

Years ago, I was walking a few blocks home from Safeway with a few bags of groceries, when a somewhat agitated man called to me from his porch: "Excuse me! Excuse me!"

"Yes?"

"Do you have a VCR?"

"Pardon me?"

"Do you have a VCR?"

"Um... yeah."

"Can I ask you a favour? I have to go out tonight, there is something I need to see, and I don't have a blank tape to record it -- can you tape it for me?"

"Uh..."

I put myself in his place. How desperate must he be to be at the point of running out of his house and imploring the first stranger he sees to help him out? Pretty desperate. Now he has my sympathy. "Ummm... I guess so... What is it?" (I'm imagining that his daughter will be on the news, or some other extremely significant (to him,) once-in-a-lifetime thing.)

"Empty Nest."

"Do you know someone who's going to be on the show tonight?"

"No, it's just my favourite show."

"Uh, is Beta okay? Because my machine's a Beta. No? Good luck, then."

It's not that taping a crap sitcom is a huge request, but it's more of an imposition than I'd consider asking of someone at work or something, much less a total stranger selected at random. WTF?

[GrizzRich]

Two ex-wife stories...

#1
Upon divorcing my wife of seven years, I moved from southeast VA to the DC area to take a job with a large corporate travel agency.
My ex called me one day (on our toll-free line, natch!) to book plane tickets for her and Danny.
Yes, this was the same Danny that she was banging behind my back while I was still married to her.
I asked her "Why ME?! There's a DOZEN travel agencies where you live."
Her response? "I trust you!"
My retort?... "I wouldn't!"

#2
Ex-wife calls me (again, at work on our toll-free line!) to ask if I still have my calligraphy materials.
Me- "Yes... but you must KNOW I'm not going to let you borrow my pens."
Her- "I don't want to borrow them!"
Me- "You can't HAVE them either!"
Her- "I don't WANT them!"
Me- "Then................what?"
Her- "Well, me and Danny are planning to get married and..."
I didn't hear the rest of what she said because I was laughing far too hard.

and, yes... she actually DID intend to ask me to hand-letter ALL of her invitations.
Stranger still... I later learned (from my ex mother-in-law) that Danny thought it was a great idea, too!

[Rilchiam]

Did she have any kind of, you know, chemical imbalance?

[GrizzRich]

Did she have any kind of, you know, chemical imbalance?
You might say that... she often had an overabundance THC in her system, as I recall.

[Rilchiam]

Huh. THC makes me more generous, not demanding and presumptous.

[Montgomery Burns]

A friend of ours was planning a surprise birthday party for his wife last month. He asked if we could help out with the food for the party. Specifically he wanted us to provide the potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans, rolls, chips and soda for 100 people. He said that we could consider it our birthday gift to his wife if we wanted. We ended up bringing chips and soda.

[OpalCat]

Last night at 11pm a neighbor called me up. I haven't spoken to her since she failed to show up to babysit one afternoon (she was supposed to come over after Dominic got home from school and stay until I got home at around 8pm, just for a couple of days until I could find a new babysitter). She never showed up and I was never able to get her on the phone--oh, and she'd borrowed money from me against what I would pay her to babysit. Ha. Anyway, hadn't heard from her since that happened, which was December 2005.

So it was weird to get a phone call from her at 11pm last night... she pretended to be chatty and 'catching up' for a few minutes, then revealed her real reason for calling: she wanted to borrow $60 "just until morning". She said she'd been at her daughter's house all day and that she had $60 and she thinks she must have lost it over there, and that if she doesn't show her hubby/bf/guy that she still has it, he will be really mad at her. So she just needs to borrow it long enough to show him that she still has it, and she would give it right back in the morning. HA yeah right.

I fell for it the time two years ago when she called me late at night to loan her $20 for "her friend with a sick baby" and even drove her over to some "extended stay" hotel where "her friend" was staying so she could give it to her. Looking back, I probably drove her to a drug deal.

Anyway, I told her I didn't have any cash, that I never carry cash and always use debit cards. It was easier than trying to deal with her trying to talk me into giving it to her, to just tell her I didn't have it.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Not the most unreasonable, but..

I was grocery shopping the other day, and after loading my groceries into my car, I started to walk the cart to the cart return a few spaces over. I heard a whistle, looked in the general direction of it, and saw the cart boy, halfway across the parking lot, waving for me to bring my cart to him. Halfway across a rather large parking lot.

I did it, but I was still amazed that he thought it was perfectly acceptable to expect me to walk the cart all the way to him while he just stood there.

When I was about 12 months pregnant (not really, but you get the idea...) I was in the parking lot at Ralph's grocery buying thanksgiving stuff. I unloaded and was (barely) pushing the cart to the corral when another customer called to me to ask if I'd take her cart too!

(To her credit, when I looked stunned, and the size of my belly finally sank in, she stammered an apology).

[Freudian Push Up Bra]

Oh my goodness Ivory, what a moron she was! It's amazing how inconsiderate some people can be. What she should have done is approached you and asked if you'd like her to take it for you, seeing as she was returning her own cart anyway!!

My friend today mused that I'm only friendly to old ladies as I held the door open for an elderly woman at David Jones: She had arrived at the door first, just behind someone else, and I was on the other side, arriving after she had. The person in front of her opened it and continued on their way and I caught the door and held it open for her. She was surprised but grateful. I replied to him that I am not necessarily a friendly person (cold, emotionless etc. etc.), I am just courteous and polite to everyone and respectful, especially of the elderly.

[Projammer]

Huh. THC makes me more generous, not demanding and presumptous.

So give me a call the next time you have a sufficient quantity on board. :D

[Cyberhwk]

My roommate in college used to get pissed off that I wouldn't cover for him when he cheated on his girlfriend. Even more, once he got pissed off I wouldn't cook her food when she was hungry.

[Geek Mecha]

Mine was eons ago, thankfully, in high school. My childhood-friend-turned-crush enlisted me to help him win the heart of my best friend, pumping me for information about what she liked and whether she was dating anyone. He had me be on the line when he called her so we could discuss whether she liked him back. Later, when they got together (thanks, best friend!), their relationship turned abusive, and they often turned to me to complain and cry. They would ask me to talk to the other so they could make up. They did this knowing I had feelings for him.

It was a wretched experience. I'd like to say I eventually grew a spine and a brain and told them both to fuck off, but that'd be a big fat lie. I don't know what happened to them after high school, and I don't really care.

[Gala Matrix Fire]

Not me, but my mom. A couple of things my older sister has asked her:
1- My mom had a small rental house with some very reliable tenants living in it. Their rent made up a large part of my mom's smallish income. Sis decided she wanted to move back to town and that mom should kick out her tenants and let Sis live there at greatly reduced rent. Mom didn't.
2- Several years later sis had surgery shortly before Christmas. My sister and my mom live approximately two thousand miles apart. My sister asked my mom to fly to sis's place, clean the house thoroughly, and then leave before my dad got there to spend Christmas with his girlfriend. Mom declined. Incidentally, my sister had two teenaged children who could perfectly well have cleaned the house.

As for me, I can only think of minor things. Once I was at a gym working out on an elliptical machine. I was about ten minutes into what I intended to be a half-hour workout, sweating hard and probably bright red, when a woman came up to me and asked if I'd get off the machine so she could use it while chatting with her male friend, who would use the empty elliptical machine next to me. I'm still flabbergasted at the cheek of it. She was obnoxiously persistent, and I was too thrown for a loop to think straight, and she didn't back down after I told her 'no' several times, so I finally got off the machine and went to a different elliptical machine fifty feet away or so. She and her friend 'exercised' for about seven minutes on the elliptical machines and then left.