It is NOT that freaking HARD to answer this question.

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Yeah I know. Get an LJ. Weak rant. I've heard it, and if you pile on here I'll just ignore you. :D

So.

I want to buy a tent. I had one all picked out -- it was big and pretty and had everything I wanted, pretty much, including an acceptable pricetag. It did not have poles (this is a canvas tent for SCA people; the tent poles are not exactly bendy plastic or aluminum and nobody really wants to send 8 foot poles through the mail except people who want to charge you huge amounts of money and ANYWAY I DIGRESS) but I had someone who could help me deal with that. I was set. I was even considering using it Memorial Day weekend.

My finger was hovering over the Buy button when an email went out over the local list: someone was selling THEIR tent. It's a nice one, a really nice one, with only a year's worth of wear (which, while SCAdians seem to camp at the drop of a hat, is not much for the quality of tent they get). It's made by a very very reputable company, it's attractive, it does not look like ass, and it's probably big enough to hold me and all my stuff and a freaking queen size bed if I ever get crazy enough to put one in. It was also going for much less than the usual asking price ($400 including all poles, ropes, and stakes versus about $700 at the moment for the same deal on an unused tent).

I asked a lot of questions which were answered promptly. I slept on it until Friday morning when I dropped the email: yes! I am interested! I would like to give you a check. If possible, I'd like to pay half now, half next week, and if you want to hold onto the tent in the interim that's cool but I kind of wanted to use it for Memorial Day weekend. I asked if this was possible while understanding that if it wasn't, hey, that's reasonable.

No answer. No answer Friday. None Saturday. None Sunday.

Monday, the owner IMs me accidentally through my Gmail. We clear up the mistaken identity but I say "Hey, um, incidentally, about that tent?"

Her: "Well, there's some other people interested in it."

I think: but I told you I wanted it. I tried to work out payment arrangements but you never answered. Heck, I probably could have put together the whole four hundred bucks, it was just going to be a bit of a hassle.

Me: "Okay. I still want to buy it, though. Can I pay you half up front as a down payment? You can hold onto the tent."

Her: "Well, I have someone coming down tonight to look at it, but I don't want to rush you."

I think: how is this not rushing me? After you kept saying "I'm not in a hurry to sell" all Thursday, I thought... uh... you weren't in a hurry to sell.

Me: "I can't come by this evening, I have plans. I'd like to drop a check for half with you tomorrow, but obviously if you sell it tonight I won't be doing that. Can you let me know?"

Her: "Sure. I'll update you tomorrow. I should be home from work around 4."

I think: But I know you're able to discuss this at work since you're... at work... and you're discussing it. And you thought I was a coworker when you originally IM'd me, so I know you communicate through Google Chat on a professional basis. And I know you're there because I can see the little green ball next to your name. Why can't you just email me in the morning? At lunch?

Me: "Okay, that works. I just really need to know before I leave work, and that's at 5 pm."

Her: "Okay!"

Today comes. No email, no email, no email. Four o'clock rolls around, nothing.

Four-thirty.

Me: "Hey, are you there?"

Her: "I'm here but busy at work, one sec."

Me: "Ok..."

Time passes.

Me: "I'm just about to leave work myself..."

Time passes. It's time for me to go home in 5 minutes.

Me: "I need to leave and it's an hour's drive home. I need an answer. Is there any way we can meet up or touch base?"

Nothing.

Still nothing.

It's 20 minutes later and I'm still sitting at work and she's gone idle.

Look. If you want to sell the tent for more money, tell me, but you aren't getting it from me. If someone else has offered you more money, fine, take it, but TELL ME. If you don't want to do the half-down, half in another week deal, fine, but TELL ME. If you can't contact me from work, fine, even if you have, but contact me from home! It's a freaking Gmail account and I know you have home email access. If you've already sold the tent, fine, but TELL ME. Don't leave me hanging for days while I GUESS what you want.

I wouldn't even be still pursuing this if it wasn't such a good deal -- and she knows how good a deal it is, so it's not like we're dealing dishonestly. I understand that people are busy, that this is not the most important thing, but it looks like she's gone home for the day without actually bothering to say "Hey, it's available" or "Hey, it's not available" or "Hey, I'll give you a call in half an hour, what's your number?" or even "Fuck off and stop talking to me!" I don't doubt that she's had other offers, but she could do me the honor of being honest and forthright.

I'm waiting until 5:30 and then I'm emailing her my phone number. I'll have my phone on me and she can give me a call when-the-heck-ever. But if I don't have an answer of any kind by lunchtime tomorrow (again, if this wasn't such a good deal I wouldn't even bother) I'm calling it a wash.

[Gangster Octopus]

"Doctor, I keep having this dream, first I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee. Wigwam, teepee, wigwam, teepee...all night. What does it mean?"

"Oh, nothing serious. You're just two tents."

[Vinyl Turnip]

Dude, she's just not that into you.

[elucidator]

Alright, there was a pile of warrants right over there, who moved them? Come on! Where are they!

[Little Plastic Ninja]

"Doctor, I keep having this dream, first I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee. Wigwam, teepee, wigwam, teepee...all night. What does it mean?"

"Oh, nothing serious. You're just two tents."

Don't make me come over there :p

I just got finished talking to her, at last.

Yep, she sold it. She sold it today. She talked to the guy yesterday, he wanted to confer with his wife. Apparently he phoned her immediately after she posted the ad (fascinating, since I emailed her immediately, but ehh) and he finally decided today.

Which is okay. Except I was definite on FRIDAY. I had the money in hand and everything. He contacted her first with a definite maybe, but I damn well contacted her with the definite yes first.

Mreh. She's letting other folks know who are planning on possibly selling their own, so at least I have other prospects. I just hope these people answer email. ;)

[Kneepants Erasmus, the Humanist]

wow. I bet this is one fan-fucking-tasic tent. Sounds like she isn't interested in selling to you, for whatever reason. Fuck her, I say.



ETA: Oh, it's sold. Well never mind. Or maybe fuck her anyway. Can't hurt.

[TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]

This could be a description of my last 10 Craigslist purchase attempts. I say attempts because, like your aborted purchase, none of them worked out due to the same weird flakiness on the part of the seller.

I don't understand why sellers can't answer ONE simple question.

There are a few pieces of vintage music gear that I'm always on the lookout for, and I missed one recently because the seller couldn't answer: "Is it the red version or the black version?" I wrote back every day for five days saying that I had cash in hand and would be there within the hour to get it, but I needed to know which version it was. On the sixth day, the guy finally wrote back "Someone else bought it today sorry." Goddammit!

Hell is other people.

[kidchameleon]

This could be a description of my last 10 Craigslist purchase attempts. I say attempts because, like your aborted purchase, none of them worked out due to the same weird flakiness on the part of the seller.

I don't understand why sellers can't answer ONE simple question.

There are a few pieces of vintage music gear that I'm always on the lookout for, and I missed one recently because the seller couldn't answer: "Is it the red version or the black version?" I wrote back every day for five days saying that I had cash in hand and would be there within the hour to get it, but I needed to know which version it was. On the sixth day, the guy finally wrote back "Someone else bought it today sorry." Goddammit!

Hell is other people.

It was red but I'm painting it black. :)

[Euthanasiast]

It sounds to me like she wanted/needed all of the money at once, or was just not into making payment arrangements. Then someone else became interested and could come up with the full amount, so she preferred to deal with them. But, she felt bad about that for whatever reason and had trouble bringing herself to just coming out and saying that. Perhaps she had been burned by a similar situation before (I know I have) and didn't want to take another risk.

For me, if I am selling something, I don't want to make payment arrangements. If you want it, give me the full amount then or I'll sell to someone who can. Though I would have been up front about it, at least.

[Geek Mecha]

I agree, and I also think she went with the seller she felt seemed more serious about purchasing the tent. Assuming the guy who called is the same guy who checked out the tent that night, and assuming he could pay all at once, I can see how he struck her as a more appealing buyer.

[Scarlett67]

It sounds to me like she wanted/needed all of the money at once, or was just not into making payment arrangements. Then someone else became interested and could come up with the full amount, so she preferred to deal with them. But, she felt bad about that for whatever reason and had trouble bringing herself to just coming out and saying that.
Then she needs to grow a spine and SAY SO, instead of leaving the OP hanging. If she feels bad, she could say something like "I have a potential buyer in line ahead of you; if that falls through, I'll let you know."

I hate that shit. I quit Freecycle for very similar reasons:

Lack of reading comprehension: Yes, I know I live 40 miles from the metropolis. That's why I put such information ON ITS OWN LINE at the bottom of every posting I make, above my sig. You'd have to be blind to miss it. So don't be exchanging five e-mails with me about your schedule and when you can come and get the item, and then when I finally send you the specific directions, saying, "Oh, I didn't know you live that far away, I can't afford the gas." IT WAS IN MY ORIGINAL POST, YOU DUMBASS.

Lack of communication and follow-through: If you arrange to come and pick an item up, COME AND PICK IT UP. If you change your mind, SEND ME A FRIGGING E-MAIL so I don't wait around for you and so I can offer it to the next person. Just up and not responding anymore is FUCKING RUDE.

Wankers. I tried to be helpful. Now all my good shit goes to the dump or Goodwill. Fuck 'em.

[Kimstu]

I want to buy a tent. I had one all picked out -- it was big and pretty and had everything I wanted, pretty much, including an acceptable pricetag. [...] I was set. I was even considering using it Memorial Day weekend.

Couldn't you just have rented a tent? Rented a tent. Rented a tent, a tent, a tent. Rented a tent. Rented a tent. Rented a tent, a tent. Rented a --- AAAGGHHH! It's got me!!!

[Equipoise]

(this is a canvas tent for SCA people...
...while SCAdians seem to camp at the drop of a hatWhat's SCA?

[Kimstu]

Ye Societie for Creattive Anachronisme.

No, really. (http://www.sca.org/)

[Fear Itself]

Which is okay. Except I was definite on FRIDAY. I had the money in hand and everything. No you didn't; you had half the money in hand. As a seller, hearing "I will gladly pay you next Tuesday for the tent you sell me today" is a definite turn off.

[BMalion]

Save your money and buy a Panther Pavillion (http://www.pantherprimitives.com/medieval.html) , you'll be glad you did.

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Save your money and buy a Panther Pavillion (http://www.pantherprimitives.com/medieval.html) , you'll be glad you did.


It WAS a Panther. :(

That's why I went through all that hassle. It was a Panther Regent, I think the 12x12, tents and stakes and ropes included, for $400.

Ehh. It's a good idea for me to get the Panther anyway, really, and just spend the craploads of money. I know some folks who are good with the Midwest Tents; they swear by 'em and they're cheap. Dang it, I really did want the Panther, though...

It sounds to me like she wanted/needed all of the money at once, or was just not into making payment arrangements. Then someone else became interested and could come up with the full amount, so she preferred to deal with them. But, she felt bad about that for whatever reason and had trouble bringing herself to just coming out and saying that. Perhaps she had been burned by a similar situation before (I know I have) and didn't want to take another risk.

And that would have been fine. It was just preference on my part because it would have left me broke until next payday, but if she'd said "I would really rather just do this all in one lump sum" I would have smiled, shrugged, and handed her the $400 in cash.

But she had to actually TELL me. And she said when she told me she'd sold it that it wasn't the money issue any-old-how, just that he'd asked first.

I have the feeling that they're already good friends or at least know each other better than I know her. And again, that's fine. I'd rather sell to a friend, especially something on Such A Deal. But she could have done me the courtesy of letting me know Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday that there was someone else interested and if he gave her a definite yes it was his. I'd be going to the campout event this weekend if so.

(I might still be going. I know some people willing to give tent space in exchange for rides. I might take a day trip but it's a three hour drive. I might stay in a hotel. Might maybe could blar blar. It's expensive and I've had a rough couple of weeks at work, I could use the rest time.)

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Couldn't you just have rented a tent? Rented a tent. Rented a tent, a tent, a tent. Rented a tent. Rented a tent. Rented a tent, a tent. Rented a --- AAAGGHHH! It's got me!!!

I'm weirdly cheap, though. I never like to rent things I can buy, and tent rental (GAH) is actually fairly pricey.

I wonder if I could rent to own... nah, if I save my money well enough for a couple months I can afford a real live Panther all on my own.

No you didn't; you had half the money in hand. As a seller, hearing "I will gladly pay you next Tuesday for the tent you sell me today" is a definite turn off.

Nope. I had the money, but when she informed me she was in no hurry to sell, I eyed my finances and thought "This would be so much easier if I can pay in installments. I don't even have to HAVE the thing until I'm paid off. But if she says no, I'll just give her the whole lump sum." Which would have hurt, but I'd have managed it.

[Cheesesteak]

You made a mistake, you interpreted "not in a rush to sell" as an indication that you could fiddle faddle with the transaction without repercussions. Someone else shows up with cash in hand, willing to do the transaction NOW, why would the seller take a risk with you? She doesn't know you from Adam, and doesn't know that your checks are going to be good, especially since you appear to be trying to spread out the payments. You also apparently relied on her to say no when she has absolutely no idea whether or not that's going to turn you from a potential buyer into a non-buyer.

You set yourself up as the backup buyer, the guy to call when the "good" buyer, the one with cash in hand, falls through.

ETA : If you want to be the primary buyer, you tell them, I'll come by at your earliest convenience with cash and buy it on the spot. Anything less makes you a potential backup, depending on whether or not someone else comes by with this offer.

[Vinyl Turnip]

What's SCA?

An organization of celibates. Membership is voluntary, but the abstinence part is more or less imposed.

[Jackmannii]

I'm gonna get you in my tent (tent tent tent tent)
Where we can both experiment (ment ment ment ment)
I hope that you won't mind the stench (stench stench)

Of the sacrament.


"Tent" - Bonzo Dog Band

[Count Blucher]

Look on the bright side: if she's that much of a klutz handling a simple sale, imagine how she treated/abused/stored the poor tent. In not doing business with her, there's less potential for having a drip in your face when you least expect it.

[Projammer]

It was red but I'm painting it black. :)

It was a door I take it? :p

[Polycarp]

Alright, there was a pile of warrants right over there, who moved them? Come on! Where are they!

Summons? Out there, beneath the same big sky
You'll find all your subpoenas
And warrants t'seize and try... :P

[tdn]

I hate that shit. A woman in my building posted an ad where she was selling a portfolio and a drafting table for $25 each. I called her number. She was never in. I left messages. She never called back. Months later, her ad was still up. She kept marking the prices down, as she seemed pretty desperate to sell, but she couldn't be bothered to actually complete a sale.

I finally got the portfolio for $5. :)

[BMalion]

It WAS a Panther. :(
...

Dang, that sucks. But my point would now be to just buy a new one from the people who make them. that way you have a guarantee and can trust the product. Peace of mind.

[Kokopilau]

You made a mistake, you interpreted "not in a rush to sell" as an indication that you could fiddle faddle with the transaction without repercussions. Someone else shows up with cash in hand, willing to do the transaction NOW, why would the seller take a risk with you? She doesn't know you from Adam, and doesn't know that your checks are going to be good, especially since you appear to be trying to spread out the payments.

Which is why the OP told the seller (and I QUOTE from the initial post) "Can I pay you half up front as a down payment? You can hold onto the tent."

Sheesh.

[Cheesesteak]

Sheesh yourself, he wanted to give the seller a CHECK for half the payment on Friday evening, then the rest (presumably with another check) during the week when he takes the tent home, leaving her with two checks of dubious worth. Not to mention the fact that he could renege on the deal, cancel the check, or whatever half way through the next week after she told Mr. Buyer Withcash that the tent was already sold. Or, the deadbeat decides he doesn't have the money next week, can she wait another few days, or another few weeks, for his next paycheck when he'll ask for his money back since he can't actually afford it now, since his car broke down.

You want to buy, bring money, pay for the fucking thing, take it, and leave. This isn't a complex financial transaction, you're buying a tent. It's not the seller's job to finance it for you or offer layaway when they have buyers ready to pay full price on the spot.

[Fear Itself]

Which is why the OP told the seller (and I QUOTE from the initial post) "Can I pay you half up front as a down payment? You can hold onto the tent."

Sheesh.Why should the seller want to put up with collecting and depositing two payments? One is easier than two, so even if the seller keeps the tent until the second payment, it is still less desirable. And what happens if the buyer decides to back out of the deal? Is the first payment non-refundable, or does the seller have to give it back? Sounds like the OP made themselves less attractive as a buyer, and the seller simply opted for the transaction with less potential for problems.

[Kokopilau]

That wasn't your complaint, though. You wondered why the seller should trust the OP's check, you didn't say anything about the "inconvenience". The answer is, because if the check bounces, the seller still has the product.

The OP said nothing about the other guy paying "cash", so the issue with bounced checks could easily still apply...and if the check of the guy paying all at once bounces, the seller DOESN'T have the product any more.

It's better to take half the money now by check, hold on to the item, and wait for the check to clear. Which is what the OP was offering.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Sheesh yourself, he wanted to give the seller a CHECK for half the payment on Friday evening, then the rest (presumably with another check) during the week when he takes the tent home, leaving her with two checks of dubious worth. Not to mention the fact that he could renege on the deal, cancel the check, or whatever half way through the next week after she told Mr. Buyer Withcash that the tent was already sold. Or, the deadbeat decides he doesn't have the money next week, can she wait another few days, or another few weeks, for his next paycheck when he'll ask for his money back since he can't actually afford it now, since his car broke down.

You want to buy, bring money, pay for the fucking thing, take it, and leave. This isn't a complex financial transaction, you're buying a tent. It's not the seller's job to finance it for you or offer layaway when they have buyers ready to pay full price on the spot.
Total agreement. It sounded to me like the seller was not thrilled about being asked to cooperate with some kind of layaway plan and when someone else came up with the cash, that was that. That's the way it goes. The seller was not a K-Mart. You either have the cash or you don't. The OP did not.

By the way, from the OP's descriptions, it sounds like the seller was dropping some pretty big hints that she wasn't particularly interested in taking half a check but the OP wasn't getting it.

Note to Ninja: If someone is selling something over the internet and you can't come up with the cash, don't expect them to take it off the market to accomodate your payment plan. They have nothing to gain by doing that. If you can't come up with the jing, don't bother responding.

[Fear Itself]

It's better to take half the money now by check, hold on to the item, and wait for the check to clear. Which is what the OP was offering.No, it is better to take all the money, then hand over the tent. Simpler is always better.

[Kokopilau]

No, it is better to take all the money, then hand over the tent. Simpler is always better.

If you get a check for half the money that bounces, and you still have the tent, you are out maybe the bounced check charges.

If you get a check for all the money that bounces, and you handed over the tent, you're out bounced check charges AND you have no tent.

[Fear Itself]

If you get a check for half the money that bounces, and you still have the tent, you are out maybe the bounced check charges.

If you get a check for all the money that bounces, and you handed over the tent, you're out bounced check charges AND you have no tent.If you get cash, everybody is happy (except the guy who offered two payments including a check or checks). Why should the seller cater to the buyer's demands, when there are several people interested in buying the tent? Simpler is easier.

[Kokopilau]

If you get cash, everybody is happy (except the guy who offered two payments including a check or checks). Why should the seller cater to the buyer's demands, when there are several people interested in buying the tent? Simpler is easier.

We don't know how the buyer paid. How often do you make $400 payments in cash?

But again, the issue wasn't that the seller didn't give in to the OP's demands. It was that Cheesesteak wondered why the seller should trust the OP's check.

The answer was that the seller would still have the tent, so if the OP handed over a bad check, there's no way he or she could abscond with the merchandise.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

We don't know how the buyer paid. How often do you make $400 payments in cash?

But again, the issue wasn't that the seller didn't give in to the OP's demands. It was that Cheesesteak wondered why the seller should trust the OP's check.

The answer was that the seller would still have the tent, so if the OP handed over a bad check, there's no way he or she could abscond with the merchandise.
The seller could be stuck with charges for a bounced check and could miss out on another buyer by taking it off the market. To me, asking the seller to take it off the market is kind of unreasonable. If someone else has the money today, why should I wait around for someone else to give it to me in a week?

By the way, I doubt the seller took a check from the person who did buy the tent unless she knew the buyer personally or had some way to verify that the check was good.

[Fear Itself]

We don't know how the buyer paid.Exactly. Yet you created a false dillemma between one check payment or two. There are several other possibilities you omitted that would be easier than two payments. How often do you make $400 payments in cash?How often do you accept $400 checks from strangers?

[Kokopilau]

The seller could be stuck with charges for a bounced check and could miss out on another buyer by taking it off the market. To me, asking the seller to take it off the market is kind of unreasonable. If someone else has the money today, why should I wait around for someone else to give it to me in a week?

Because, if they ARE acting in good faith, they've already paid you money and will probably pay the rest because they don't have the item yet and want it (else why pay money for it in the first place?). And if the check bounces, what's to stop the seller from selling the tent to someone else, even the original prospective buyer?

If the seller turns around and tells the OP "the other guy's check for the full amount bounced but for some strange reason I still have the tent, do you want the tent now?", would the OP turn it down?

[Kokopilau]

Exactly. Yet you created a false dillemma between one check payment or two. There are several other possibilities you omitted that would be easier than two payments.

Easier, absolutely. But again, the issue wasn't the convenience of this payment method, but its trustworthiness.

How often do you accept $400 checks from strangers?

More often when I don't have to give up what I'm selling to the buyer until the check clears.

[Cheesesteak]

The answer was that the seller would still have the tent, so if the OP handed over a bad check, there's no way he or she could abscond with the merchandise.Thing is, since the check is delivered Friday evening and the tent picked up the middle of the next week, there's no guarantee that the seller would even know the check was good or bad until the tent is gone.

Plus, there are all of the other factors that enter into it when you take a simple transaction and make it complex. You take a transaction that has zero chance of failing to complete (cash on the barrelhead) and turn it into one where you have to wonder whether or not the buyer will come through, and you've taken it off the market so there are no other buyers.

[Fear Itself]

Easier, absolutely. But again, the issue wasn't the convenience of this payment method, but its trustworthiness.My objection has always been convenience. One cash payment is easier for the seller.

[Kokopilau]

My objection has always been convenience. One cash payment is easier for the seller.

That I have no argument at all with.

[scotandrsn]

I agree with Cheesesteak, the OP set themselves up as a buyer of last resort.

Anyone selling a tent in such a manner wants to have $400 and no tent. Whoever makes that happen the easiest is going to get the sale.

What LPN wanted was, "I'll give you money I have, and promise you money I don't have right now." If she takes the deal, the seller now has $200 and an obligation that goes with it. What if the remaining money doesn't materialize? Is she going to have to give the $200 back? What if she trusted the OP and already spent the money? Is a small claims judge going to have to decide? Is she going to have to meet with this person more than once, first to sign an agreement as to what the $200 stipulates, then meet again to hand over the tent?

Pain In The Ass. Someone else walks up with $400, tent is his. Period.

All the runaround she was giving the OP should have sent the message that the transaction he was offering was unappealing. Calling her on her bullshit as time went by only sealed his fate. When someone else has something you want that badly, you play their way or you don't play at all.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Because, if they ARE acting in good faith, they've already paid you money and will probably pay the rest because they don't have the item yet and want it (else why pay money for it in the first place?). And if the check bounces, what's to stop the seller from selling the tent to someone else, even the original prospective buyer?
Who cares about good faith? If they can't pay me now and somebody else can, then to hell with them.

Also, why take even a full check, much less half a check, if someone else has cash?

[gazpacho]

I don't think I would accept a check from a stranger as payment. I also would definitely not accept some weird two check payment plan. That seems to be the modus operandi of craigslist scams. Checks for not quite the correct amount.

[gigi]

Bald-facedly revising the original very punny thread title


so this is the whimper of your discount tent?

[Kokopilau]

Who cares about good faith? If they can't pay me now and somebody else can, then to hell with them.

Again, Cheesesteak's original post that I responded to was about the trustworthiness of it all, not the convenience and/or salesmanship of it all. I pointed out that the OP addressed why he/she thought he/she should be trusted (leaving the item with the seller). Cheesesteak, in a later post, disagreed that this was sufficiently trustworthy, but that's a separate issue from the initial question that was brought up about the scheme.

Try to keep up here.

Also, why take even a full check, much less half a check, if someone else has cash?

We don't know what the other buyer paid with. From the OP's description of the conversations, the seller certainly didn't evince any reluctance at all to take a check.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

We don't know what the other buyer paid with.
If the seller had any common sense, it wasn't a check unless she had a way to verify it and/or knew the buyer personally.
From the OP's description of the conversations, the seller certainly didn't evince any reluctance at all to take a check.
You got a different impression from the described conversations than I did. To me it sounded like the seller was anything but enthused about the idea, hence the runaround.

[FaerieBeth]

Sorry your tent deal fell through, Little Plastic Ninja. My husband and I have a Panther Pavilion that we bought "almost-never used" (it had been put up once at Gulf Wars), and we're very happy with it. The owner had advertised it on the Medieval_Encampments yahoo group, and I recommend that group if you're in the market for all manner of SCA encampment stuff. I never participate on the list, but they sure do have some good resources and nice deals posted there once in a while.

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Y'all, the issue is not that I was not sold the tent.

The issue is the lack of communication.

First off: this is a person I know, have met, and have chatted with. We live in the same city. She knows about three dozen people who know my address and phone number and how to best harass me. This is a fairly close-knit group. It's not like a Craigslist thing where you have no idea who the other person is.

Second: She has stated repeatedly that she was not uncomfortable with the payment arrangements, but only after the fact. If she had said (I think there's an echo in here) "I would rather not do it like that, I just want all the money up front" I would have said "Okay then, here is your money up front. Would you like that in small bills?"

Third: The issue is not that I didn't get the tent. The issue is not that I didn't like the price of the tent. The issue is not that I did not like a lack of payment flexibility on the tent.

The issue is that I DID NOT KNOW whether any of this was acceptable or not. When I said on Friday morning "hey, can we do a payment arrangement?" I was expecting either a "yes" or a "no". I was not expecting radio silence for three days and an answer of "Whatever, I'm not in a big hurry to sell, but I have someone else wanting to buy it" on Monday. A "no" wouldn't have bothered me because hell, I probably wouldn't have accepted the payment arrangement. I wouldn't have been offended, I just would have shifted my other plans around.


You got a different impression from the described conversations than I did. To me it sounded like the seller was anything but enthused about the idea, hence the runaround.


It could be that the "can I make payments on it?" soured her to the deal and she just refused to tell me no, but if she'd had a problem with it all she had to do was say something. It's not like I can smack her around over email. :D

There were options -- all kinds of 'em -- but without a modicum of communication, all there was was confusion.


The owner had advertised it on the Medieval_Encampments yahoo group


I did not know about this group! I will have to check them out. SOMEONE in Ansteorra's got to be selling a tent...

...oh, and I'll just wave cash at them up front to make all the rest of y'all happy. :p

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Oh, and --

If the seller had any common sense, it wasn't a check unless she had a way to verify it and/or knew the buyer personally.


A common retail trick: call the phone number on the check and verify funds. That way, at least you know the money is there now. It's not 100% protection, but we know each other on a nodding and recognition basis and, as above, she knows a lot of the same people I know. I would be a pariah in the local society if I screwed her over. That is shit up with which they will not put. ;)

(But I feel compelled to repeat: she has told me she was not uncomfortable with the payment arrangements, she just sold it to someone else instead. That doesn't bother me. I'm just bothered that she didn't bother to tell me jack or shit at the time, that I wasted my time waiting for her rather than putting things together myself.)

[Diogenes the Cynic]

She probably didn't want to say absolutely no because she wanted to keep you as an option if all else failed. All she could really give you was a "maybe," and that's kind of what she did give you in a roundabout way.

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Properly, then:

Me: Can I pay like blah?

Her: Really I'd rather you didn't. Someone else wants to buy the tent and they're willing to pay up front for it.

Me: Oh. Well here, have all the money then.

As opposed to:

Me: Can I pay like blah?

Her: *silence silence silence* Well, I know someone else is interested, they just haven't given me a definite. They will tonight. I'll let you know tomorrow.

Tomorrow: *radio silence*

[Kimstu]

so this is the whimper of your discount tent?


Hey luc! Did you ever find those warrants?

...and since when do we need the warrant in advance, anyway?

[Little Plastic Ninja]

so this is the whimper of your discount tent?

...

damn you. :D

[Gulo gulo]

I did not know about this group! I will have to check them out. SOMEONE in Ansteorra's got to be selling a tent...


Dang. I was going to recommend a friend of mine who makes great SCA tents. I think An Tir would be a bit far for you though. :)

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Dang. I was going to recommend a friend of mine who makes great SCA tents. I think An Tir would be a bit far for you though. :)

Just a tad. ;)

I have a local source for poles, though, so if they do shipping...

[Foxy40]

Properly, then:

Me: Can I pay like blah?

Her: Really I'd rather you didn't. Someone else wants to buy the tent and they're willing to pay up front for it.

Me: Oh. Well here, have all the money then.

As opposed to:

Me: Can I pay like blah?

Her: *silence silence silence* Well, I know someone else is interested, they just haven't given me a definite. They will tonight. I'll let you know tomorrow.

Tomorrow: *radio silence*

I foundd this thread interesting from the start. The fact that you had the guts to ask for payment arrangements on buying something from a private person is amusing. The fact that you actually asked to use it before it was completely paid for is hysterical. (Oh and pay by personal check no less.) Now you are ragging at the seller for not reading your mind to know you actually had the full payment if she really wanted it. (Which of course she did). Simply put, I am sure she kept you around as the last resort in case a reasonable buyer did not appear.

I am not being negative. As a matter of fact, I admire your big kahonas.

[BMalion]

I...
I am not being negative. As a matter of fact, I admire your big kahonas.


nitpick

It's cojones (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cojones)

Spanish word meaining your nads; Your manhood; Your balls.

[Fear Itself]

It's cojones (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cojones)

Spanish word meaining your nads; Your manhood; Your balls.Maybe kahonas are the balls of a Hawaiian high priest. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kahuna)

[Little Plastic Ninja]

I foundd this thread interesting from the start. The fact that you had the guts to ask for payment arrangements on buying something from a private person is amusing. The fact that you actually asked to use it before it was completely paid for is hysterical. (Oh and pay by personal check no less.) Now you are ragging at the seller for not reading your mind to know you actually had the full payment if she really wanted it. (Which of course she did). Simply put, I am sure she kept you around as the last resort in case a reasonable buyer did not appear.

I am not being negative. As a matter of fact, I admire your big kahonas.

Which, yeah, I see. I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. :D

But you're seeing this as something more like me hopping onto Craigslist and doing this. Yeah, no way no how.

And I'm still not ragging on her for not being psychic. I'm just ragging on her for not saying "no" or "yes" or, you know, anything.

At the very least -- at the very LEAST -- she could have said before she left work on Tuesday: "Sorry, I already sold it. Better luck next time!" But she knew I was there, was waiting, was at work, was getting off at 5, and was stuck at my computer... and she left work and got on half an hour later to tell me.

Or maybe she could have told me at lunch on Tuesday or at any point after it but before I had to leave for work that the guy'd bought it.

[gigi]

...

damn you. :D
Oh, I've been meaning to mention...Have you heard of LiveJournal?


:p

[LinusK]

Sheesh yourself, he wanted to give the seller a CHECK for half the payment on Friday evening, then the rest (presumably with another check) during the week when he takes the tent home, leaving her with two checks of dubious worth. Not to mention the fact that he could renege on the deal, cancel the check, or whatever half way through the next week after she told Mr. Buyer Withcash that the tent was already sold. Or, the deadbeat decides he doesn't have the money next week, can she wait another few days, or another few weeks, for his next paycheck when he'll ask for his money back since he can't actually afford it now, since his car broke down.

You want to buy, bring money, pay for the fucking thing, take it, and leave. This isn't a complex financial transaction, you're buying a tent. It's not the seller's job to finance it for you or offer layaway when they have buyers ready to pay full price on the spot.

Yeah. If you wanted it, should have been there with the money - cash money, in hand.

I mean, she's not WalMart, and even WalMart wouldn't do the deal you're trying to make.

[Scarlett67]

Oh, for fuck's sake.

The OP's problem is NOT that the seller didn't like her (?) terms, or even that the seller sold the tent to another buyer.

It is the LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It is the fact the she LEFT HER HANGING. What is so hard about responding to an offer that doesn't interest you with "Sorry, not interested"? Or (as the OP has suggested several times) "I'd rather have all the money up front"? In which case (as the OP has said several times) she would have come up with the money.

The thing about asking a question (as the OP did) is that THE FAVOR OF A REPLY IS REQUESTED. Even if the answer is "No." The problem is that the seller couldn't be arsed to reply, at least not for a good long time. The fact that the OP is personally acquainted with the seller, and isn't just some faceless unknown e-mail, makes it all the more rude.

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

I agree that this was a communication problem, but not the one the OP thinks it was.

The miscommunication was when the OP interpreted "not in a hurry to sell" as "I'm flexible about arrangements, and will work with you to make the sale happen eventually", when it should have been interpreted as "don't lowball me, sucka. I'm willing to sit on this damned thing for years until I get my 400 smackers."

Thinking the former, the OP set himself (or herself. Sorry,Ninja, I don't know your sex) up for failure by trying to negotiate and make the deal convenient for himself, while someone else just up and offered cash. I agree with others that anyone offering to pay for something with multiple checks sends up a "doesn't have the money" red flag, and I'd probably not do business with him unless necessary. Not answering the email at all is rude, but it also protects me from having to deal with the "don't you trust me?", "here's a list of all the reasons I can't just pay you right now, aren't they good enough?", and "well, you said 'no', but maybe if I ask again" kinds of emails that often follow with people who try to make a really simple transaction more complicated. I'm not saying that you'd have done that, Ninja, but offering to pay with two checks doesn't make a first impression otherwise.

[Scissorjack]

The problem is that the seller couldn't be arsed to reply, at least not for a good long time.

Maybe she just couldn't bear to part with it, and was loitering within tent.