Dear Consumers, you sure are stupid. Signed, The Marketing Geniuses

[Leaffan]

You know, consumers are pretty dumb. I get a kick out of products that are magically revived as new and improved by some insignificant modification, and suddenly there's a whole new market out there.

For example, summer windshield wash. Like, do we really need a summer version of what presumably is IPA water and colour.

Or, what about the 37 different variants of Visine now?

And do we really need disposable razors with 4 blades? I predicted this after they went to 3!

It boggles the mind the useless tweaks that the marketing folks keep spinning upon us.

Tide with bleach, Tide with Febreeze, Unscented Tide, Regular Tide, Tide with Downey, Tide for Cold Water, Liquid Tide, Powdered Tide......... holy crap!

What are your favourite dumb product gimmicks intended to sell more to the masses?

Of course this could be a IMHO thread, but it's pretty mundane and pointless too.

[Shagnasty]

My watch recently broke and my birthday is coming up so I asked for another one for my birthday. In the meantime, I went to CVS and bought a digital watch for $8. It came with a lifetime guarantee. I didn't care much about that but I did see the terms of the warantee when I opened the package. It said that the watch would be evaluated for replacement or repair as long as I mailed it to them with $6.95 for return shipping and handling. Damage to the band, face, bezel, and battery were not covered nor was damage caused by accidents, water, fire, or neglect. That is a fine deal they have going.

[Antinor01]

Tide with bleach, Tide with Febreeze, Unscented Tide, Regular Tide, Tide with Downey, Tide for Cold Water, Liquid Tide, Powdered Tide......... holy crap!

This one I slightly disagree with. For those of us with very sensitive skin, the unscented detergents are a must.

[Shoeless]

I've never been able to figure out the pickup truck ads that show the vehicle doing something amazing, like jumping the Grand Canyon, and then they have the little disclaimer at the bottom ("Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt.") Why are you advertising the truck doing something that I really can't do in it myself? That's supposed to make me want to buy the truck?

[Pithy Moniker]

Why are you advertising the truck doing something that I really can't do in it myself?

Because showing the truck sticking out of a parking space into traffic wouldn't make for exciting television. ;)

[Count Blucher]

Because showing the truck sticking out of a parking space into traffic wouldn't make for exciting television. ;)

...And, subconciously, all of us would like to see more pick-up trucks flying off the rim of the Grand Canyon. ;)

[Bobotheoptimist]

For example, summer windshield wash. Like, do we really need a summer version of what presumably is IPA water and colour.Any other beer geeks wonder where you get washer fluid made with India Pale Ale?

Dishwasher soap. First it was powdered, then you needed (needed I say) that liquid stuff in the little compartment, then the soap came in a brick like thing, then a brick with the liquid stuff embedded in a pearl, now it's liquid and I don't know if we still need the other liquid stuff, and they're all labeled different so I can't figure out which one is the better value.

I suspect we'll soon see a "new" powder form of dishwasher soap.

[Napier]

>This one I slightly disagree with. For those of us with very sensitive skin, the unscented detergents are a must.

Ditto, cubed, and especially for those with respiratory ailments. Actually, I think the scented versions are the dumb ones. Why not just douse yourself with horrible, acrid perfume? Seems like most people muddle on somehow with that approach anyway.

Liquid automatic dishwasher detergents are a whopping foolishness. I know a chemist who spent quite a long time working on this project. The idea was, homemakers will think, "What a clever idea", and buy the crap. However, part of the beauty of powdered dishwasher detergents is that they can incorporate ingredients that vigorously attack food residue, but also attack each other. Since the powder is dry in the box, this mutual attack never happens until the product is being used. Then, although the ingredients do disarm each other fairly quickly, they also dissolve a great deal of food residue very nicely before becoming disarmed. The liquid version required that they search out ingredients that still sort of help with the food even though they have weeks in advance to attack each other, and it only sort of works, and requires more expensive ingredients, and so on.

I told Mrs. Napier about this. She only sort of listened, and then said, "Liquid dishwasher detergent. What a clever idea. I have to try some."

[Mindfield]

Shampoo additives. Jojoba, ylang-ylang, pro-vitamin B5 (and since we're here, the use of a term like "pro-vitamin" as if it means anything -- it's fucking pantothenic acid), citrus extracts, honey, shea butter, beer, coconut milk, yak's milk, cactus blossom, extract of feline anal sac, lark's vomit, irish stew, whole puppies -- every year or two there's some new thing to stick in your hair that's supposed to make it shinier, softer, more manageable, self-aware, and smell more like like God's own nasal blessings than the last one.

Cereals aimed at kids. There are, what, maybe 3 or 4 actual variations in ingredients here, but every new shape and marshmallow is a whole new product. This is especially egregious with character licenses where, if any effort at all is made to make the cereal look like anything you might recognize in the movie/cartoon the character is from, the result is invariably nothing at all like anything you might recognize in the movie/cartoon the character is from except on the box itself.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Shampoo additives. Jojoba, ylang-ylang, pro-vitamin B5 (and since we're here, the use of a term like "pro-vitamin" as if it means anything -- it's fucking pantothenic acid), citrus extracts, honey, shea butter, beer, coconut milk, yak's milk, cactus blossom, extract of feline anal sac, lark's vomit, irish stew, whole puppies
.

Ya know...if you take everything on lat list, except Irish Stew, you almost have my recipie...for Irish Stew.

[Leaffan]

Shampoo additives. Jojoba, ylang-ylang, pro-vitamin B5 (and since we're here, the use of a term like "pro-vitamin" as if it means anything -- it's fucking pantothenic acid), citrus extracts, honey, shea butter, beer, coconut milk, yak's milk, cactus blossom, extract of feline anal sac, lark's vomit, irish stew, whole puppies -- every year or two there's some new thing to stick in your hair that's supposed to make it shinier, softer, more manageable, self-aware, and smell more like like God's own nasal blessings than the last one.

Cereals aimed at kids. There are, what, maybe 3 or 4 actual variations in ingredients here, but every new shape and marshmallow is a whole new product. This is especially egregious with character licenses where, if any effort at all is made to make the cereal look like anything you might recognize in the movie/cartoon the character is from, the result is invariably nothing at all like anything you might recognize in the movie/cartoon the character is from except on the box itself.
See, that's why I started this thread. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Actually I am literally laughing.

Pssst: Hair is dead ladies. Why does it need vitamins?

[gigi]

Because showing the truck sticking out of a parking space into traffic wouldn't make for exciting television. ;)
And when they do show the musical chairs in the parking lot, they tell you not to attempt that either. I was impressed by the Tundra that pull the freight container up and out of the canyon--that they claim is real.

I'm suspicious of anything that wants me to use the product every day, since it just screams "Use a lot of this so you have to replace it often". Mostly shower sprays like the Scrubbing Bubbles spraying rotator thingie.

[I Love Me, Vol. I]

This one I slightly disagree with. For those of us with very sensitive skin, the unscented detergents are a must.You're right, but the point of the OP still stands I think.

Scented and unscented detergent. There. Two products. Just two. That's all that is really needed. Not the 3,000 variations that each and every brand currently offer.

[Eleanor of Aquitaine]

What kills me is 235 varieties of OTC cold medicines that all have some combination of the same five ingredients.

This one I slightly disagree with. For those of us with very sensitive skin, the unscented detergents are a must.My husband accidently bought some scented dryer sheets the other day and I could smell them, still in the unopened box, the instant I walked in the house. We bagged them up and stuck them out in the garage until we could take them back to the store. I noticed that the box actually had a scent chart that indicated this version was only a 3 out of 5. So that means they sell 5 versions of dryer sheets with different levels of stinkiness.

[Cat Whisperer]

Toothpaste. I want some fluoride and a sensitive tooth formula (because I have sensitive teeth, and it actually does seem to help). I don't need it to do my taxes for me.

Although, I have to admit, I would love a flavour that didn't have mint in it. I'm all minted out.

Diamond Shreddies is a clever take on marketing crapola, in my opinion.

Ooh - one of the best ones I've seen - antiperspirant with moisturizers. Is there anyone on the planet who is having a dry skin problem in their armpits?* I live in Calgary where it is so dry we scratch our epidermises off every winter, and my pits are still nice and moist. And some antiperspirants have sparkles. Oh yeah, there was a niche that was waiting to be filled.

You know what is getting up my nose, thinking about it? We can have 35 types of toothpaste and pitstick, but we can't have a decent, permanent hair removal method for women. Bastards.

*I hesitate to say that, because someone is going to come in and say, "Well, actually, all my family has congenital Armpitdryitis. Thanks for nothing, jerk. :mad: "

[DeadlyAccurate]

Shampoo additives. Jojoba, ylang-ylang, pro-vitamin B5 (and since we're here, the use of a term like "pro-vitamin" as if it means anything -- it's fucking pantothenic acid) ....

There's one brand that advertises amino proteins on the package facing. I'm still trying to figure out what that's supposed to be.

[Sunspace]

"Coke Zero. Now in a new black can, but still the same great product!" And the ad had a can in the new black can, half out of an unzipped old silver can.

I saw this a few weeks ago and thought, "Man, their sales must be dropping. They have to do something desperate but inexpensive to renew peoples' interest."

[Oregon sunshine]

Any other beer geeks wonder where you get washer fluid made with India Pale Ale?

Me.

[Mindfield]

There's one brand that advertises amino proteins on the package facing. I'm still trying to figure out what that's supposed to be.
Utter hyperbole. Proteins are all made of amino acids. But of course, to a marketing goon, the word "acid" doesn't strike quite the right chord with folks who, when confronted with such a word on a bottle of shampoo, have visions of Maj. Toht (http://www.londonist.com/attachments/sizemore/toht.jpg) when he opens the Ark of the Covenant. But protein, now that's a good thing. Protein is good for you. And "amino" sounds like, scientific or something. It doesn't matter that no one, ever, anywhere, has ever said "amino proteins." Who's going to know that? Look, just buy the damn shampoo, there's a bunch of shit in it and it smells like rosebuds and kitty farts.

[Chimera]

You know, consumers are pretty dumb. I get a kick out of products that are magically revived as new and improved by some insignificant modification, and suddenly there's a whole new market out there.

Yes, but DO people want Fire that can be fitted nasally?

[JustAnotherGeek]

Criminis.

I'd like to know the Straight Dope on this one. Supposedly, "criminis" were a specialty mushroom that no one really bought. Until someone noticed that if you let them grow really large, you can grill them and get excitingly large mushrooms. But they had to have an excitingly new name. So the "Portobello" was born.

Then, to add insult to injury, when the criminis still weren't selling well, they got relabeled as "Baby Bellas." So the things I buy at the grocery store are really "Small versions of the overgrown crimini" ... or ... "criminis." Riiiiight...

[Antinor01]

Yes, but DO people want Fire that can be fitted nasally?

If you're so smart, what color should it be?

[elbows]

Saw an ad on the tv last night for aerosal cleaner safe for self cleaning ovens.

Just how stupid do they think we are?

I also remember years ago shortly after the advent of No Wax flooring, they came out with wax for no wax floors!

Also when they are trying to sell you new tv's, by saying check out the picture on this one! How can I see how awesome it is if I have a crap tv?

[fachverwirrt]

Pssst: Hair is dead ladies.
Wow. I thought it was dead cells. Learn something new every day.

[gotpasswords]

Any other beer geeks wonder where you get washer fluid made with India Pale Ale?
Me too... what is IPA in the context of windshield washer fluid?

However, I can see a value to a "summer" wwf if it's got extra bug-dissolving properties. If nothing else, it'll be different than the pink winter stuff, which IS important as it won't freeze when it hits the glass.

[Civil Guy]

Any number of products / devices / whatever will - the marketing implies with the subtlety of a brickbat - make one less objectionable to the opposite sex. This will enable the flowering of one's own social and stylistic talents, leading to wealth, fame, and endless dates with killer hotties.

How did we ever manage without advertising? :rolleyes:

[Random]

"-Free".

No, not free, -free. As in, Fat-free!

This went through 2 iterations, both nonsensical.

First, it was a way of avoiding negative-sounding words. "No, consumers are too stupid to tolerate ads that say "No Fat!", or "Contains No Preservatives!". Those are negative words, you see. "Free" is such a more attractive alternative.

Then we got really crazy. Things are now advertised as being -free of things that have never been in the product since the dawn of time. Classic example is Chloresterol-Free. Used to advertise plant-derived products. Even those heavy in vegetable fats that are readily converted to cloresterol in the human body.

Here, buy my cancer-free cigarettes.

[DesertDog]

"-Free".

No, not free, -free. As in, Fat-free!Although an inducement, not a product per se, my favorite gripe was triggered by this.

Free gift

Oh, I do so love a free gift. They are ever so much nicer than those gifts I have to pay for.

[Martian Bigfoot]

the use of a term like "pro-vitamin" as if it means anything -- it's fucking pantothenic acid Actually, it does kind of mean something, but it's still all market-speak. The pro-vitamin of fucking pantothenic acid is fucking panthenol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panthenol). This isn't even a fucking vitamin yet, and it won't turn into one by you sticking it on your head (you'd have to eat it), but apparently it makes your hair shiny.

[cmyk]

Actually, it does kind of mean something, but it's still all market-speak. The pro-vitamin of fucking pantothenic acid is fucking panthenol (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panthenol). This isn't even a fucking vitamin yet, and it won't turn into one by you sticking it on your head (you'd have to eat it), but apparently it makes your hair shiny.

wouldn't that make it a pre-vitamin? ;)

[Bobotheoptimist]

Me too... what is IPA in the context of windshield washer fluid?

However, I can see a value to a "summer" wwf if it's got extra bug-dissolving properties. If nothing else, it'll be different than the pink winter stuff, which IS important as it won't freeze when it hits the glass.Isopropyl alcohol. Freezes at something like -90 C.

[E-Sabbath]

Iso-propyl Alcohol?

[Martian Bigfoot]

wouldn't that make it a pre-vitamin?That wouldn't sound good in the shampoo commercials. It sounds like crap. But pro-vitamin? That sounds like some extra super vitaminy shit.

Actually, though, if I'm not mistaken, a pre-vitamin is in fact an intermediate step from a pro-vitamin to a vitamin. So not only is a pro-vitamin not even a fucking vitamin yet, it's not even a fucking pre-vitamin yet.

[GrizzRich]

Shrinking sizes.

The big bag of sugar that's no longer five pounds.
The container of ice-cream that's no longer a half-gallon
The bag of coffee that's no longer a pound.
The candy-bar that's a skosch thinner or shorter than it used to be.

I understand rising prices. It's a fact of life.
Just raise the price, fer crying out loud! You're screwing with my recipe portions!

[Mindfield]

Ya know...if you take everything on lat list, except Irish Stew, you almost have my recipie...for Irish Stew.
Note to self: If invited for dinner, do not let Bosda cook.

Another one I hate is the unmarketing ad. You know the one. "All those other guys tell you to drink this or eat that and you'll be popular and sexy and rich and powerful, but you know it's all a crock. Don't let those other jerks fool you. Just do what you wanna do. Oh, and drink Sprite."

Or the artsy-fartsy, non-sequitur ads for fashion and fragrances. The ones that show some contrived, often surreal mini-movie where some girl loses her floppy hat to a sudden gust of summer breeze and it flies off a tall bridge where the camera follows it down as it heads towards the road below where some dashing fellow grabs it, takes a whiff, then drives hell bent for leather to find the girl that lost it, and when he does they almost-kiss, then it cuts to a product shot and some girl whispers, "Escape," for apparently no reason, because not until the very end do you realize that it's an ad for a diamond pendant that, upon reflection, you saw the woman wearing for about half a second.

And don't get me started on skin care products. Between splashing your face with a vertical wall of water, critical, life-altering ingredients inexplicably encased in ice cubes being and being dropped into a highball glass that allegedly takes your skin from its current, just-exhumed-for-autopsy condition to the state it was in while you were still in the womb, to the miraculous resurrection of dry and brittle plant matter with just one dab of moisturizer and the implication that your skin would turn into a dried up, sun-cracked riverbed if not for the use of these products, there's just too much complete and utter nonsense going on in these ads.

Small dumbass things I see:

- That package of premium chocolate in the supermarket? Hand-made by Swiss master chocolatiers, every one of them. Very slowly and carefully, using only specialized Master Chocolatier utensils, lovingly chiseled into individual squares by the sheer love of chocolate.
- That pasta sauce, too -- the whole lot of it is made by one little old Sicilian grandmother from a secret recipe that's been in her family since Pangea.
- Fat-free, cholesterol-free, trans-fat-free health foods that nevertheless contain more calories than pure lard.
- Cars in automobile ads never: Obey the speed limit, stop for lights, get stuck in traffic, need refueling, or obey the laws of gravity or physics. Oh, and if you buy this car, the road will be yours. Really. All other cars will simultaneously wink out of existence the moment you close the door.
- Ads that rename household chores in an attempt to make them seem effortless -- even fun. You're not dusting, you're swiffering. Dusting is boring and makes you sneeze. Swiffering is like reliving Footloose in your living room! Or someone else's living room! Really, it's that good.
- Movie trailers that feature scenes that aren't even in the damn movie. Showing all the good bits digested into 30 seconds is one thing, but now they're just straight out lying about it.
- Ads that oversimplify things for the sake of a sale. "See how fast and easy it is? It's right there in the instruction manual, page 426."
- In computer technology, the marketing tactic of redefining storage quantities to make something seem bigger than it really is. In the days of cartridge video games (late 80s and into the 90s), the size of the game on the cartridge was expressed in "megs" while neglecting to mention that they're talking megabits (1/8th of the more common and expected usage of megabytes). In hard drives, on the other hand, some brilliant marketing goon decided that a "meg" and a "gig" should be rounded down to the nearest round figure. Thus, a 100 gigabyte drive which should contain 102,400 megabytes (using the classic definition of "megabyte" to mean 1,024 kilobytes, or 210 kilobytes, which is how every computer on the planet calculates it) is, in fact, actually 100,000 megabytes. Those missing 2.4 gigs? Not yours.

I can probably think of lots more, but it's late and I need to get to sleep. In my bed, which is allegedly softer than pixie dust and upon which one could drop Mount Vesuvius without disturbing the glass of wine that someone left on it for some reason.

[Leaper]

Saw an ad on the tv last night for aerosal cleaner safe for self cleaning ovens.

Just how stupid do they think we are?


I must be pretty damn stupid, because I don't see the problem with this. Surely not every stain can be solved by the self-cleaning function? Or if they can be, surely not all stains are large enough to warrant going through the time and energy use of putting it through the self-cleaning functioon?

[Rick]

Shrinking sizes.

The big bag of sugar that's no longer five pounds.
The container of ice-cream that's no longer a half-gallon
The bag of coffee that's no longer a pound.
Just raise the price, fer crying out loud! You're screwing with my recipe portions!
:confused: What the hell kind of recipe are you making that calls for 5 lbs of sugar, or 1/2 gallon of ice cream or 1lb of coffee?

[Askance]

Toothbrushes. All I want is a straight, used-to-be-normal brush with plain white bristles, that don't point in various threatening directions, a handle that has fewer curves than J Lo used to, and that fits in my toothbrush holder. And costs less than $2. It's now possible to buy a single, packaged, unpowered toothbrush in my local supermarket that costs nearly $AU10 ($US 8). The license to drive it is extra.

Then we get to toothpaste. I want a simple toothpaste with fluoride, detergent, and enough grit to do its job: no mouthwash, whitener, no words like BLAST, NEW, FORMULA or FRESH on the side.

[Cat Whisperer]

Saw an ad on the tv last night for aerosal cleaner safe for self cleaning ovens.<snip>
Sorry, dude; have to harsh your mellow on this one. I used the self-cleaning function on my oven ONCE, and it was a friggin' disaster. It made a permanent gross discolouration on the vents, it was very hot and nasty, and it took something like three or four hours at a very high temp (I can just imagine the power it sucks for that). I'll just clean it with elbow grease and a safe cleaner in the future.

[cmyk]

That wouldn't sound good in the shampoo commercials. It sounds like crap. But pro-vitamin? That sounds like some extra super vitaminy shit.

Actually, though, if I'm not mistaken, a pre-vitamin is in fact an intermediate step from a pro-vitamin to a vitamin. So not only is a pro-vitamin not even a fucking vitamin yet, it's not even a fucking pre-vitamin yet.

So what you're saying is, a pro-vitamin is some sort of proto-vitamin. That wouldn't work on a shampoo bottle either. I think we just recreated the very conversation that took place when pro-vitamins were first conceived for marketing. All in favor of "pro"? Pro-vitamin it is!

This is giving me a headache... where's the extra-strength, time-released, gel-cap, night-time, Tylenol?

[Obsidian]

:confused: What the hell kind of recipe are you making that calls for 5 lbs of sugar, or 1/2 gallon of ice cream or 1lb of coffee?

Baked goods in bulk would. Making cookies/cupcakes/brownies for a bake sale or a school party, I've seen my mom use a whole bag of sugar.

[Vinyl Turnip]

What kills me is 235 varieties of OTC cold medicines that all have some combination of the same five ingredients.

I've been trying for almost twelve years to convince my wife of this concept. Every time she's sick and a friend of hers recommends some name-brand cold remedy she buys it, not realizing (or maybe not believing) that it's exactly the same formula as the half-dozen other cold formulas we've accumulated in the medicine cabinet. So far I've yet to win that battle, or the related one about the store-brand medicine containing exactly the same active ingredient and dose as the name brand that costs much more. <sigh>

I guess I can sort of understand her skepticism, in a way— why would there be 235 brands of the same freaking medicine, after all?

[Captain_C]

A friend of mine is always proud to point out that when taking a tour of the factory that makes Oreos, the conveyer belt split off near the end into 2 seperate lines. One line was being packaged in "Oreo" packaging, the other in store-brand packaging. It's the same freakin thing!!

[sturmhauke]

I don't buy all the pro-vitamin amino protein bullshit they put on shampoo and conditioner, I just care whether it washes my hair and makes it less tangle prone and doesn't smell like fucking flowers (I'm a dude with long hair). Pantene works for me. They keep changing the packaging though, that's irritating.

[Caiata]

So what you're saying is, a pro-vitamin is some sort of proto-vitamin. That wouldn't work on a shampoo bottle either. I think we just recreated the very conversation that took place when pro-vitamins were first conceived for marketing. All in favor of "pro"? Pro-vitamin it is! I know nothing whatsoever about shampoo production, but I do know that in the pharmaceutical industry they call something a "pro-drug" when it is not actually the active ingredient of the drug, but gets metabolised or otherwise converted into the active ingredient in your body. Examples include aspirin (metabolised into salicylic acid in the body, which is the real pain-killing item; the acetyl group that makes it aspirin is just there to protect your stomach) and L-DOPA, which can be carried into the brain across the blood-brain barrier, where it is then metabolised into dopamine (which can't be transported across the blood-brain barrier due to excessive polarity) and is used to treat symptoms of Parkinson's disease. (This is all info from a 'Medicinal Chemistry' course I took, please don't bite me if this isn't 100% accurate, it was only a 3rd year University subject!)

So my guess would be that a "pro-vitamin" is a compound which, if ingested, would be converted by the body's natural processes into an actual vitamin. Of course, this isn't going to work if you apply it to your hair, unless the water in the shower does it. Seems to me they'd be better off including nanobots to rebuild your hair follicles ;)

[Nava]

Any other beer geeks wonder where you get washer fluid made with India Pale Ale?

Dishwasher soap. First it was powdered, then you needed (needed I say) that liquid stuff in the little compartment, then the soap came in a brick like thing, then a brick with the liquid stuff embedded in a pearl, now it's liquid and I don't know if we still need the other liquid stuff, and they're all labeled different so I can't figure out which one is the better value.

I suspect we'll soon see a "new" powder form of dishwasher soap.

Oh, no, actually and yes, I realize you're talking about the other dishwasher soap, you know that clog of solid soap which forms on the opening of the bottle if you don't close it right?

Now they're selling that, at least in France. So we're back to the same solid soap my great-grandmothers used, only now it's made with rock-oil instead of pig-fat. I'm expecting that for the dishwasher machines they'll start selling it in toothpaste-style tubes any day.

You know when your Mom told you carrots had vitamin A? What they have is pro-vitamin A. beta-carotene (which gives carrots their color) is two molecules of vit-A stuck together at one end; they get absorbed into the body, separated and used.

[tagos]

A friend of mine is always proud to point out that when taking a tour of the factory that makes Oreos, the conveyer belt split off near the end into 2 seperate lines. One line was being packaged in "Oreo" packaging, the other in store-brand packaging. It's the same freakin thing!!

Ah - but the store brand ones are stored unpackaged in a giant warehouse for 18 months.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Note to self: If invited for dinner, do not let Bosda cook.




My stew recipie--

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7990437&postcount=1


:D :D :D :D

[Sock of Doom]

So my guess would be that a "pro-vitamin" is a compound which, if ingested, would be converted by the body's natural processes into an actual vitamin.
Perfect description, and good examples. The only way the "pro-vitamin" will really make a difference biologically is if you drink the shampoo. Yum!

[Solfy]

Ooh - one of the best ones I've seen - antiperspirant with moisturizers. Is there anyone on the planet who is having a dry skin problem in their armpits?* I live in Calgary where it is so dry we scratch our epidermises off every winter, and my pits are still nice and moist. And some antiperspirants have sparkles. Oh yeah, there was a niche that was waiting to be filled.


I wondered this myself. I use Dove, the one that advertises soft pits, but only because it smells like candy. I like my armpits to smell like a freshly opened pack of Sweet Tarts. I am not worried about softness. I doubt very much anyone else is worried about the softness of my pits, either.

*wavy imagination lines*
"Hey, I heard you and Sharon broke up."
"Yeah. I had to dump her. We really hit it off at first. She was gorgeous, great personality, and filthy rich."
"What happened?"
"I went back to her place on the third date, and when things got hot and heavy. . . she took her shirt off . . . and - I just can't say it! It's too horrible!"
"What? Horrible disfigurement? Rancid B.O.?"
"She had dry armpits! They were totally flakey! You could scour pots with those suckers! I just couldn't do it. I told her I just remembered I had an early meeting the next morning and bailed."

[Sarahfeena]

:confused: What the hell kind of recipe are you making that calls for 5 lbs of sugar, or 1/2 gallon of ice cream or 1lb of coffee? I bake, so I keep stocks of sugar on hand. But that's not the point...the point is the sugar companies seemed to quietly change from a 5-lb bag to a 4-lb bag. What could be the reason for that, other than to raise the price without being obvious about it?

[Licentious Ectomorph]

A friend of mine is always proud to point out that when taking a tour of the factory that makes Oreos, the conveyer belt split off near the end into 2 seperate lines. One line was being packaged in "Oreo" packaging, the other in store-brand packaging. It's the same freakin thing!!
I heard or read somewhere once that a lot of store brand products are actually big-name brands that they buy (or at least have bought the formulas/recipes for), including the right to repackage them as their own.

Then again, plenty of store-brand products (the foodstuffs, anyway) are utter crap that don't compare to the "real thing," so I guess that's not always the case.

[Dung Beetle]

You know, the other day I was wishing to myself that my grocery store carried a different brand of pesto sauce. As far as I know, they just have the one. Then I realized that I like the brand they carry, so why would I want another one? I lamely justified myself, "Well, then I could buy whichever one is cheaper..." Then I realized that I am obviously willing to pay the price for the one they sell now, because I do buy it.

I should just be grateful that this one purchase is made simple for me. :smack:

What kills me is 235 varieties of OTC cold medicines that all have some combination of the same five ingredients.


Oh, like Mexican food!

[Belrix]

A friend of mine is always proud to point out that when taking a tour of the factory that makes Oreos, the conveyer belt split off near the end into 2 seperate lines. One line was being packaged in "Oreo" packaging, the other in store-brand packaging. It's the same freakin thing!!
Can't be that simple. An Oreo cookie has the name molded into one side. Surely they wouldn't allow that logo on a store-brand cookie.

<Checks the kitchen>

Yup - my store brand cookies have "Kid-O's" stamped on them. (King Soopers brand - a Kroger chain).

[Leaffan]

I had to pick up "pads" for my wife last night. Hey, I was out anyway and it certainly doesn't bother me to do this. But here's another example of marketing gone wild.

There must be 100 different variants of these things: with wings, without wings, overnight, panty liners, scented, unscented, adhesive strips, individually wrapped, light days, medium days, heavy days! And all packaged in pretty white and pink packages with flowers and butterflies and swirls and curls.

Last time I bought these, the same ones were in a package of 16, this time a package of 18; the exact same brand and type. In fact it seems every time I'm asked to buy these I get confused because they have undergone a packaging change since the previous time. I swear they get re-branded every 3 months or so.

If men had to wear these things we'd buy them in a plain brown carton, packaged 100 at a time for $20, and we'd get them at Home Depot.

[Dorjän]

A friend of mine is always proud to point out that when taking a tour of the factory that makes Oreos, the conveyer belt split off near the end into 2 seperate lines. One line was being packaged in "Oreo" packaging, the other in store-brand packaging. It's the same freakin thing!!

Don't Oreo cookies have the Oreo logo molded in the cookie part? How would that work for the store brand? I think your friend might be embellishing.


Whoops, I see now that Belrix already beat me to this!

[Rick]

I bake, so I keep stocks of sugar on hand. But that's not the point...the point is the sugar companies seemed to quietly change from a 5-lb bag to a 4-lb bag. What could be the reason for that, other than to raise the price without being obvious about it?
Hey I am on your side here, I was commenting on this sentenceYou're screwing with my recipe portions!

[Vinyl Turnip]

Oh, like Mexican food!

The menu at my preferred Tex-Mex dive proudly offers n! combinations— and "no substitutions."

To come up with a "substitution" request that isn't already offered somewhere, you'd have to get really creative or just bizarre. Like "can I have a burrito, but in a taco shell?" or "instead of the enchilada, chalupa, rice, and beans, can I just get a giant platter of rice?"

Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure they would do it.

[Like Fry]

"Looks both ways" ..... Harleys, you have to buy Harleys. If your about 40 and male you must absolutely buy a Harley, and then add 5 grand in accessories so you can look cool like your buddies.......... At least thats what the Voices in the adds say.

Fry (hoping none of my coworkers sees this)

[tdn]

Yeah, yeah, whatever on all the griping.

But I'd so love to have five minutes alone with Mr. Whipple.

A Charmin 4-pack. That's what I want to see on store shelves. No 87-pack that I can't fit into my tiny apartment, much less carry home on the trolley. No extra sheets quilted teddy bear picture daffodil-scented fluffy bunny stuff. I'm not going to make a beadspread out of the stuff. I'm going to stick it up my ass. That's all.

Honestly, is the basic 4-pack too much to ask? Because if so, I'm just going to switch to newspaper.

[RumMunkey]

A friend of mine is always proud to point out that when taking a tour of the factory that makes Oreos, the conveyer belt split off near the end into 2 seperate lines. One line was being packaged in "Oreo" packaging, the other in store-brand packaging. It's the same freakin thing!!

Red flag here for me.

I don't doubt that the same factory that produces Oreos probably also produces (and maybe even bags) the generics, but you wouldn't be able to see the line split would you?

Oreos have fancy embossing and "oreo" (or is it "Nabisco") logos embossed and the generics have less fancy design.

I would think the real Oreos and the generics would have to be made on different shifts, wouldn't they?

[Marley23]

"-Free".

No, not free, -free. As in, Fat-free!
Laundry detergent bottles are getting bigger these days. And the companies can't just say it's a larger bottle, they stick on labels with things like "20 percent more free!" Since things that are free don't cost anything, I don't understand how a product can be more or less free. I either paid for it or I didn't, and if I paid for it at all, it wasn't free.

[AskNott]

There's one brand that advertises amino proteins on the package facing. I'm still trying to figure out what that's supposed to be.
That's the kind to use if you are amino hag. :D

I still don't know what Shea Butter is. Maybe it's targeting Mets fans. Heeyyyy, butter, butter, butter! Swing!

If you look on the labels for Tylenol for migraines, for back pain, for sore muscles, for stubbed toe, for PMS, for long staff meetings, and extra strength, they are all exactly the same thing. :smack:

[miss elizabeth]

This is why I love ALDI.

[panamajack]

Isopropyl alcohol. Freezes at something like -90 C.

So, no different from India Pale Ale, really.

[Cat Whisperer]

<snip>I'm not going to make a beadspread out of the stuff. I'm going to stick it up my ass. That's all.
<snip>
If you're going to stick it UP your ass, maybe you should try corncobs. Apparently they work very nicely. :D

I find that the Safeway Select products are usually *better* than the name brands. (They probably are the name brands, and I'm fooling myself that they taste better.)

[Tikki]

A few months ago, I had occasion to buy some over-the-counter sleeping pills. Having never used them before, I looked over the information on each brand before purchasing one. Surprise! They all have the exact same active ingredient in the exact same doses. Doesn't matter if it's Sominex or Nytol or the generic store brand, they're exactly the same. Only Sominex and Nytol charge you 3 or 4 dollars more so they can produce commercials telling you how superior their sleeping pills are. Guess what? I bought the store brand and I slept like a baby.

[ianzin]

Great thread. I know I'll be mocked, spurned and hated for this (probably even pitted)... but I just thought I'd clarify that whereas the thread refers to marketing, most of the posts so far concern only advertising and product packaging.

Marketing is any and all activity that seeks to optimise a company's relationship with its chosen market. It covers a lot of stuff: doing surveys and gathering market intelligence, plotting seasonal trends and the company's response to them, studying market sectors, planning and prepping new products, branding, designing, addressing the very complex issue of pricing and perceived value, testing market response and perceptions, trying to expand or improve production and distribution chains, trying to find an advantage over the other guy (a USP) and figuring out how long it's going to remain an advantage, CRM (customer relationship management), and just plain, simple trying to come up with good ideas that the competition didn't think of. And yes, somewhere in all that, there's a lot of thought given to branding, packaging and then whether to advertise, how to advertise and in which media.

So advertising is part of marketing, but marketing covers a whole lot more. (Jeers and boos from the crowd) Look, it does say 'fighting ignorance', right? Someone somewhere might find this useful one day.

As for the OP, one good example is the advertising devoted to what we (UK) call petrol and my American friends call gas or gasoline. Stuff you pour into your car. It's all the same stuff. It has to all be the same stuff or you couldn't put it in cars. What's more, almost everyone just buys gas at whichever station is nearest when they happen to be running low (sometimes you don't get any choice). Yet every year the oil companies spend billions of dollars trying to develop some sort of brand loyalty.

[Rick]

As for the OP, one good example is the advertising devoted to what we (UK) call petrol and my American friends call gas or gasoline. Stuff you pour into your car. It's all the same stuff. It has to all be the same stuff or you couldn't put it in cars. What's more, almost everyone just buys gas at whichever station is nearest when they happen to be running low (sometimes you don't get any choice). Yet every year the oil companies spend billions of dollars trying to develop some sort of brand loyalty.
Nice try, but no. (http://www.toptiergas.com/)

[tdn]

They all have the exact same active ingredient in the exact same doses.
The thing is, though, in some meds, there is a difference. In ritalin, I believe, the name brand and the generic have the same active ingredients, but use different binders. For some people that makes a huge difference.

[MaxTheVool]

Another one I hate is the unmarketing ad. You know the one. "All those other guys tell you to drink this or eat that and you'll be popular and sexy and rich and powerful, but you know it's all a crock. Don't let those other jerks fool you. Just do what you wanna do. Oh, and drink Sprite."


I actually really enjoyed the first wave of those commercials... they started with the little kid seeing Grant Hill dunk a basketball and drink Sprite, so he drank some Sprite, tried to dunk a basketball, and failed miserably. I mean, sure, it's still just an ad put together by big marketing firms to try to make us buy their product. But it never seemed to take itself too seriously, and made me laugh. What more do you want out of an ad?

[Leaffan]

As for the OP, one good example is the advertising devoted to what we (UK) call petrol and my American friends call gas or gasoline. Stuff you pour into your car. It's all the same stuff. It has to all be the same stuff or you couldn't put it in cars. What's more, almost everyone just buys gas at whichever station is nearest when they happen to be running low (sometimes you don't get any choice). Yet every year the oil companies spend billions of dollars trying to develop some sort of brand loyalty.

Well, of course I know all about what you marketing folks do, it's just that I'm too smart to be fooled by your crap. ;) I buy a lot of no-name stuff, and switch brands like a drunken sailor if another brand is on sale. I don't care about brand loyalty and am not an impulse shopper. I also rarely drink soft drinks or eat at fast food stores. (The kids convince me to take them to McDonald's once in a while since they're brainwashed by the "free" toy and the "delicious" meal.)

Yes, gas is another one of my pet peeves. Here, in Canada, we now have winter gas! :eek: What this undoubtedly means is that since ethanol is added to the gasoline anyway, someone thought "Hey! We can market this as winter gas, since it basically has a built-in antifreeze compound now! We're fucking geniuses for coming up with the idea and the bleating sheep will buy it!"

And then there's gas with "detergents" and "special formulations" for fuel injectors and the like.

Honestly, as a somewhat intelligent, and somewhat cynical consumer I am fed up with the whole roller coaster of new-and-improved products. Every once in a while something innovative gets invented and marketed. But for the most part it's a waste of money. I'll take the generic brand and save the advertising costs.

[Rick]

Yes, gas is another one of my pet peeves. Here, in Canada, we now have winter gas! :eek: What this undoubtedly means is that since ethanol is added to the gasoline anyway, someone thought "Hey! We can market this as winter gas, since it basically has a built-in antifreeze compound now! We're fucking geniuses for coming up with the idea and the bleating sheep will buy it!"

And then there's gas with "detergents" and "special formulations" for fuel injectors and the like.

Honestly, as a somewhat intelligent, and somewhat cynical consumer I am fed up with the whole roller coaster of new-and-improved products. Every once in a while something innovative gets invented and marketed. But for the most part it's a waste of money. I'll take the generic brand and save the advertising costs.
:rolleyes: Winter gas and summer gas have been around almost as long as cars. If you tried to run summer gas in the winter in Canuckistan, you would be in Rebok mode. Your car would not start. Summer gas is not volatile enough to allow your car to start at 0 and below. Likewise if you tried to run winter gas in the summer, you car would have a tendency to vapor lock.
Detergents are necessary to keep your injectors clean. Read the top tier link in my last post.

[Leaffan]

:rolleyes: Winter gas and summer gas have been around almost as long as cars. If you tried to run summer gas in the winter in Canuckistan, you would be in Rebok mode. Your car would not start. Summer gas is not volatile enough to allow your car to start at 0 and below. Likewise if you tried to run winter gas in the summer, you car would have a tendency to vapor lock.
Detergents are necessary to keep your injectors clean. Read the top tier link in my last post.
They change the formulation of gasoline for the season? I, I, I think I need a cite here. And yes, detergents may be necessary, but they all have the detergents. It's not a differentiator; it's a requirement.

[gotpasswords]

They change the formulation of gasoline for the season? I, I, I think I need a cite here.
Primarily, the refineries adjust the Reid Vapor Pressure (RVP) to help minimize smog production.

Summer Gas (http://www.theoildrum.com/node/2374)
Winter Gas (http://www.theoildrum.com/story/2006/9/13/234043/431)

The government pays attention as well (http://www.doacs.state.fl.us/standard/petro/background.html)

[Belrix]

They change the formulation of gasoline for the season? I, I, I think I need a cite here. And yes, detergents may be necessary, but they all have the detergents. It's not a differentiator; it's a requirement.
IIRC, Hersheys makes summer and winter chocolate, too. Less melty in the summer.

[Rick]

They change the formulation of gasoline for the season? I, I, I think I need a cite here. And yes, detergents may be necessary, but they all have the detergents. It's not a differentiator; it's a requirement.
From gotpasswords citeIf, on the other hand, you were to buy summer gasoline and try to store it until winter, you might find yourself having problems getting the fuel to ignite, due to the lower vapor pressure. This would be like putting a little bit of diesel in your gasoline – not very good for your car. So buy and use gasoline in the correct season.
Any questions? :D

[Napier]

>Saw an ad on the tv last night for aerosal cleaner safe for self cleaning ovens.

>I must be pretty damn stupid, because I don't see the problem with this.

I must be dumber than toast, then, because I've never cleaned our oven at all and nothing bad has happened. I don't even know if the thing thinks it can clean itself. What are you guys talking about? What's our motivation?

[aktep]

"Coke Zero. Now in a new black can, but still the same great product!" And the ad had a can in the new black can, half out of an unzipped old silver can.

I saw this a few weeks ago and thought, "Man, their sales must be dropping. They have to do something desperate but inexpensive to renew peoples' interest."

Actually this was a great idea that I don't know why it took them as long as it did to figure it out. The damn silver can and silver boxes looked too much like Diet Coke and i was invariably picking up the wrong one. When they went to the black cans with the polar bear design for winter, it made too much sense. I was glad they stuck with it.

[Zyada]

>Saw an ad on the tv last night for aerosal cleaner safe for self cleaning ovens.

>I must be pretty damn stupid, because I don't see the problem with this.

I must be dumber than toast, then, because I've never cleaned our oven at all and nothing bad has happened. I don't even know if the thing thinks it can clean itself. What are you guys talking about? What's our motivation?


A few years ago, I was renting a house and apparently the leasing agency didn't consider a deep cleaning between tenants to be necessary. This place had a strange oven - it had an element on both top and bottom (normal) and you could turn the bottom element to broil in addition to the top element (never seen that one before)

The first time I used the oven, I was trying to oven-fry some chicken. It cooked but didn't brown, so I turned on the broiler, accidentally turning on the bottom broiler instead of the top one.

It turned out that the former tenant had spilled some sort of oil in the bottom of the oven. This oil caught fire shortly after the bottom broiler was turned on.

And this is why you sometimes need to clean your oven.

[swampbear]

All I know is, if anybody ever comes up with a shampoo that contains live puppies and smells like kitty farts I am so buying it! Brilliant!

[Shoeless]

Although an inducement, not a product per se, my favorite gripe was triggered by this.

Free gift

Oh, I do so love a free gift. They are ever so much nicer than those gifts I have to pay for.
This reminds me of something I got in the mail last week. A local car dealer was trying to entice me to come to some special sale they were having, and if I brought the postcard they mailed me, I was guaranteed to receive 2 of the following 5 items:

- A large screen plasma TV
- A $10,000 scratch-off lottery ticket
- A $1000 gift certificate to some sporting goods store
- A $25,000 scratch-off lottery ticket
- An all expense paid weekend getaway

Gee, I wonder what two things I'd get out of that list? :rolleyes:

[gotpasswords]

...I was guaranteed to receive 2 of the following 5 items:

- A large screen plasma TV
- A $10,000 scratch-off lottery ticket
- A $1000 gift certificate to some sporting goods store
- A $25,000 scratch-off lottery ticket
- An all expense paid weekend getaway

Gee, I wonder what two things I'd get out of that list? :rolleyes:
Depends on whether or not the weekend getaway involved mandatory attendance of a timeshare sales presentation. :D

[dwc1970]

There's some beer that is or was advertised as "beechwood aged". What does this even mean?

Breath fresheners also use bogus ploys to make their products sound like hot shit. "Clorets with Actozol", "Certs with Retsin." Just what the hell are Actozol and Retsin anyway?

[aktep]

There's some beer that is or was advertised as "beechwood aged". What does this even mean?


Budweiser.

While it implies that the beer sits in a fine casks of beech wood to age, what it actually means is that beechwood is placed in the beer to extract the yeast after fermentation (a process called "fining"). The wood is only in the beer for 2 or 3 days, and it's pre-treated beforehand to prevent it from affecting the taste of the beer.

But it sounds good.

[Mindfield]

Breath fresheners also use bogus ploys to make their products sound like hot shit. "Clorets with Actozol", "Certs with Retsin." Just what the hell are Actozol and Retsin anyway?

Actozol: No idea. Google finds nothing. But there's Actosol. With an S. It's a humic acid fertilizer. So you can grow flowers under your tongue. How better to strike a mighty blow at halitosis?

Retsin: It's a rock band (http://carrottoprecords.com/artists/retsin/index.html). Certs contains a rock band. For breath that rocks.

A rock band.

[Larry Mudd]

There's some beer that is or was advertised as "beechwood aged". What does this even mean?It's intended to invoke the aging process of fine whiskies, barrel-aged so that the wood imparts its flavour to the spirits.

This isn't actually such a crazy idea -- more and more craft breweries are maturing their brews in wooden barrels. (Usually barrels that have previously been used to age spirits, so you're typically getting an Oak & Bourbon combo or summat.)

The bilge formerly promoted as "beechwood aged" is not matured in barrels, however - that crap is pumped out as fast as people can suck it down. Instead, they use beech chips in the mash. Yeah, it's "aging" during the ferment. You didn't think time stood still, did you?

[Captain_C]

Red flag here for me.

I don't doubt that the same factory that produces Oreos probably also produces (and maybe even bags) the generics, but you wouldn't be able to see the line split would you?

Oreos have fancy embossing and "oreo" (or is it "Nabisco") logos embossed and the generics have less fancy design.

I would think the real Oreos and the generics would have to be made on different shifts, wouldn't they?

Ok, there was a bit more to it. They go through different stamping machines before assembly into cookie form. I didn't think I'd need to go into exact specifications of the process to get the point across. They are made on the same factory floor and through the same process up until the stamping of the still-warm waffers. Better?

[Leaffan]

From gotpasswords cite
Any questions? :D
Ah! Informative, for sure. But doing something to meet government regulations and then advertising it as a really nifty differentiator between your fantastic product, and the rest of the cheap shit gasoline on the market is another story.

[ianzin]

Nice try, but no.[/URL] Thank you. I sit corrected and ignorance-defeated. I have learned about some authentic differences, about detergents, and about the fact that some parts of the world have to offer summer and winter gasoline, which I'd genuinely never heard of before.

Notwithstanding the above, I'm based in London, England, where I think it has been shown that pretty much petrol is petrol is petrol, whichever 'brand' you buy (qualifiers inserted to show I've learned my lesson). And I also think my second, related point stands: I've have hardly ever met anyone who actually exercises any brand loyalty when it comes to filling up the tank. When it's time to refuel, you just pull into the nearest station. Every once in a rare while, 'price wars' break out and very cost-conscious drivers will make a point of going to specific station X where they reckon they can shave a few pence off their fuel bill. But most of the time, it's just pull over at the first supplier.

[Leaffan]

Thank you. I sit corrected and ignorance-defeated. I have learned about some authentic differences, about detergents, and about the fact that some parts of the world have to offer summer and winter gasoline, which I'd genuinely never heard of before.

Notwithstanding the above, I'm based in London, England, where I think it has been shown that pretty much petrol is petrol is petrol, whichever 'brand' you buy (qualifiers inserted to show I've learned my lesson). And I also think my second, related point stands: I've have hardly ever met anyone who actually exercises any brand loyalty when it comes to filling up the tank. When it's time to refuel, you just pull into the nearest station. Every once in a rare while, 'price wars' break out and very cost-conscious drivers will make a point of going to specific station X where they reckon they can shave a few pence off their fuel bill. But most of the time, it's just pull over at the first supplier.
Ditto.

[DrDeth]

Or, what about the 37 different variants of Visine now?


Tide with bleach, Tide with Febreeze, Unscented Tide, Regular Tide, Tide with Downey, Tide for Cold Water, Liquid Tide, Powdered Tide......... holy crap!

.

No, no, no, this is marketing genius. The point is not to sell more Tide per se, but every spot on the shelf that is filled with a "NEW! IMPROVED!! version of Tide is a spot not filled with the competitors brand. So, in other words, with 1 version of Tide they get 3' of shelf space, with 9 versions they get almost an entire wall.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

All I know is, if anybody ever comes up with a shampoo that contains live puppies and smells like kitty farts I am so buying it! Brilliant!

Say "HELLO!" to Head & Shoulders, Skippy! :D

[Rick]

Thank you. I sit corrected and ignorance-defeated. I have learned about some authentic differences, about detergents, and about the fact that some parts of the world have to offer summer and winter gasoline, which I'd genuinely never heard of before.

Notwithstanding the above, I'm based in London, England, where I think it has been shown that pretty much petrol is petrol is petrol, whichever 'brand' you buy (qualifiers inserted to show I've learned my lesson). And I also think my second, related point stands: I've have hardly ever met anyone who actually exercises any brand loyalty when it comes to filling up the tank. When it's time to refuel, you just pull into the nearest station. Every once in a rare while, 'price wars' break out and very cost-conscious drivers will make a point of going to specific station X where they reckon they can shave a few pence off their fuel bill. But most of the time, it's just pull over at the first supplier.
Hi, my name is Rick and I am very brand loyal when it comes to fuel. I only buy top tier gas (Chevron or Union 76 here in the states) ;)

[LucyInDisguise]

Hi, my name is Rick and I am very brand loyal when it comes to fuel. I only buy top tier gas (Chevron or Union 76 here in the states) ;)

[slight hi-jack]
Sorry to burst your bubble Rick.

All but two of the retail gasoline outlets in Elko County, NV, are supplied by three marketers based in Elko and Carlin NV. One flies Conoco/Philips colors, one flies Chevron colors, and the third is owned by Flying J.

On I-80, exit 303, there are two Chevron outlets. One is currently selling mid-grade at $3.97.9 and the other is at $3.78.9. Just down the street is a Tesoro outlet selling mid-grade at $3.65.9. One and one half blocks down on the South side of the street is a Sinclair outlet ($3.34.9) Right next door is a Conoco outlet ($3.35.9). Just up the road from there is a Shell station ($3.47.9). Around the corner and up 3 blocks is a Smith's Food King ($3.29.9). On the Shoshone Elko Colony mid-grade is $3.29.9)

My Point? All of these outlets (except the Shell) buy their fuel from one of the three local marketers. All of these marketers - and let me say that one more time - ALL of these marketers buy their fuels from the same bulk rack located in Salt Lake City, UT. This rack is fed by three refineries, one operated by Chevron, one by Phillips 66 and one by Flying J. All three refineries feed their product into the same bulk tank farm, through the same plumbing, through the same pumps in to the same nozzles to load the same supertanker trucks for transport to Northern Nevada. All of these fuels meet Government specs for additive and detergent quality. All of the diesel is the same. All of the Premium Gasoline is the same. All of the Mid-grade is the same. All of the Regular grade is the same. In fact, the only real difference is the name of the driver operating the truck.

The fuel I buy at Smith's/Tesoro/Conoco or at the Shoshone Elko Colony is chemically identical to the fuel you would buy at one of the Chevron outlets if you were passing through here. But my fuel is $0.68 (+/-) a gallon less expensive. All of that fuel arrived on the same truck(s). It is not at all uncommon to see the Chevron truck at Smith's one day, and the Conoco truck the next - and it's just as common to see the Flying J truck at Chevron or Sinclair. I've even seen the same truck leave Chevron and drive down the street and top off Tesoro's tanks.

Even in the Salt Lake Metropolitan area, all of the marketers buy the bulk of their product from that same bulk rack. It's pretty much the same where ever you go.

What Chevron wants you to believe and the reality of keeping all those outlets supplied are two entirely different animals. However, I'm certain that Chevron appreciates your brand loyalty.

Sometimes life's a bitch.

Lucy

(Before you ask, most of those supertanker drivers are very good friends of mine, and all of the marketers are my customers; I haul off all of their used and contaminated fuels and lubricants.)
[/slight hi-jack]

[Larry Mudd]

Okay, I just noticed that a ("Detour") protein bar I bought today boasts that it is made with DESIGNER WHEY.

Awesome!

[descamisado]

And when they do show the musical chairs in the parking lot, they tell you not to attempt that either. I was impressed by the Tundra that pull the freight container up and out of the canyon--that they claim is real.

I'm suspicious of anything that wants me to use the product every day, since it just screams "Use a lot of this so you have to replace it often". Mostly shower sprays like the Scrubbing Bubbles spraying rotator thingie.I thought this with Arm & Hammer's push to have you change the box in the refrigerator every 4 hours.

I'm surprised they weren't pushing you to sprinkle entire boxes in your underwear, on your flowerbeds and down your gas tank.

[Cat Whisperer]

What about the ads that tout how cold their beer is? I'm no chemical physicist or anything, but I thought the temperature of a liquid determined how cold it is, and liquids like beer can only get so cold before you're drinking a beer slushie. With more alcohol content, you can get the beer colder, but other than that, every beer is just as cold as other beers, no?

[aktep]

One beer company used to have ads that some survey of consumers determined that their beer had "more taste" than Bud Light. Not a mention of "better" taste, just "more" of whatever it was.

Now, it's "56% of diet cola drinkers say that Diet Pepsi has more cola taste than Diet Coke", which at least describes the taste, but doesn't say anything about whether diet cola drinkers think that more cola taste is a good thing.

[Spoons]

What about the ads that tout how cold their beer is? I'm no chemical physicist or anything, but I thought the temperature of a liquid determined how cold it is, and liquids like beer can only get so cold before you're drinking a beer slushie. With more alcohol content, you can get the beer colder, but other than that, every beer is just as cold as other beers, no?Or as warm as other beers. How cold is the fridge set?

Seriously, beer can freeze fully, as a friend and I once found out. We thought we'd be smart, and put a just-bought case outside on the porch to chill for a bit before we watched a game on TV. It was winter and the beer had frozen solid by the time that the game started. Not wanting to wait for it to melt, we ended up walking to the local pub to watch the game and drink beer there. Missed the first part of the game, but we were at least driking liquid beer.

In regards to the OP, I remember that when I lived in Ontario and worked in the Beer Store (a retail chain that sold beer, naturally), one microbrewer put on each case of its beer, "Store at 46-54F." We only sold cold beer, so most consumers had no problem with whatever they bought. But these storage instructions on Certain Microbrew had a strange effect on some consumers--they actually would "feel" the case they were buying, as if they could tell the temperature by touch. One purchaser actually demanded to know how cold our store's cooler room was, since he thought the case he got was about 60F. "And if it's off or skunky when I open it, I'm bringing it back for a refund!"

What he, and other "connoisseurs" of Certain Microbrew didn't know, was what I knew. You see, I also worked in the Beer Store's local warehouse, where all beers were stored before being delivered to stores and bars and so on. No bottled beers, including Certain Microbrew, were chilled at the warehouse. They sat, on their pallets, awaiting delivery, at room temperatures. Sometimes hotter--that warehouse was like an oven on hot summer days. Certain Microbrew's people assured us that their beer would stay good at room (or hotter) temps for a defined period of time, and the storage instructions were there for the end consumer's benefit--so they knew how cold to serve it. "But if some people choose to think that these instructions make our beer a little more special and worth a premium price, well, good for us."

The strategy worked. Consumers were certainly willing to pay extra for Certain Microbrew, and to take me to task if it wasn't as cold as the instructions on the case said it should be. Even though they didn't know how warm it had been stored at in the warehouse.

[Rick]

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My Point? All of these outlets (except the Shell) buy their fuel from one of the three local marketers. All of these marketers - and let me say that one more time - ALL of these marketers buy their fuels from the same bulk rack located in Salt Lake City, UT. This rack is fed by three refineries, one operated by Chevron, one by Phillips 66 and one by Flying J. All three refineries feed their product into the same bulk tank farm, through the same plumbing, through the same pumps in to the same nozzles to load the same supertanker trucks for transport to Northern Nevada. [bolding by Rick]
[/slight hi-jack]
Well what you don't say is that the fuel from the three refineries are all stored in the same tank. That would prove your point. So what if they use the same pipes and trucks? How much residual fuel are we talking about in the pipes and trucks? 20 gallons? Pffft. when added to the 10,000 gallons that is being delivered, that is a fart in a whirlwind. You might as well complain that you are not getting all premium because of the pump (http://www.ling.upenn.edu/~kurisuto/lies/gas_pumps.jpg)
I can tell you from experience that there is a difference in fuels. I have "fixed" problem cars by switching fuel brands. Cars unlike people are not subject to the placebo effect.

Rick
-who also drove a truck delivering fuel for Union Oil when I was in college.