McDonald's, oh how ye have fallen (with photgraphic evidence)

[Rigamarole]

The McDonald's across the street from my apartment has a scrolling marquee they use to advertise the latest specials, when they are hiring, and even display the current temperature. Pretty cool mostly, as the city just wouldn't be the same without the abundance of gaudy flashy signs like this one that make me feel at home. But as I was walking by on my evening stroll earlier, I saw a couple of messages on it that shook me to my core. The pictures are here, but I must warn you: what you are about to see may induce serious lack of faith in humanity and/or brain seizures.

Picture 1 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/39234337@N00/619549808/in/photostream/)

Picture 2 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/39234337@N00/619549834/in/photostream/) (the full text on the bottom is "Angus Third Pounders")

It almost doesn't need words. But I just can't help speculate on how exactly those messages got up there. Was it a mischevous teenage wage-drone playing a prank? Or have the McD's advertising executives so much contempt for their customers that they know it doesn't matter worth a damn how they advertise anymore, because people will buy their product anyway? (which they will, obviously, as based on the number of cars in the drive through business didn't seem to be suffering)

I remember the Glory Days of Advertising. When it took a reasonably catchy jingle and a zany fun cartoon mascot to win the consumer base over. Speaking of mascots, what the hell happened to Ronald McDonald anyway? I haven't even seen his face in years. And now we have "TRY A SALAD. IT IS COOL !!"? You know what? I'm not even going to fight it. I don't have the energy anymore. I can only embrace it.

Dopers, all I have to say is: Try a salad. It is cool!!

[Red Barchetta]

What the hell happened to Ronald McDonald anyway? I haven't even seen his face in years.

Oh, he gets around. Just a year or two ago, my friend and I walked into a McDonald's that had Ronald McDonald there, live, in the flesh. It was surreal. Since we couldn't comprehend it, we turned and walked right back out and went to Burger King instead.

[Rigamarole]

Oh, he gets around. Just a year or two ago, my friend and I walked into a McDonald's that had Ronald McDonald there, live, in the flesh. It was surreal. Since we couldn't comprehend it, we turned and walked right back out and went to Burger King instead.

Was the Burger King there? That dude is seriously scary.

[Hostile Dialect]

Rigamarole, please make my night and tell me that was in Little Tokyo.

[Manatee]

Man, that's like the anti-slogan; are they even trying?

Hey, McDonald's, may I propose a few new slogans for you?

"Hungry? We have food!"
"Try a hamburger. It is hot!"
"Come in and eat"

[Rigamarole]

Rigamarole, please make my night and tell me that was in Little Tokyo.

I'm afraid not. It was in... Van Nuys.

[Red Barchetta]

Was the Burger King there? That dude is seriously scary.

Thankfully, our visit was before the era of the creepy king.

[Ms. Pumpkin]

That's just pathetic.
At least it didn't say "It is kewl."

[Captain_C]

Man, that's like the anti-slogan; are they even trying?

Hey, McDonald's, may I propose a few new slogans for you?

...
"Come in and eat"


This makes me laugh because this is actually on a banner at a McDonalds I pass on the way to work. I'll see if I can find someone with a digital camera who can get me a picture of it.

[Rilchiam]

Mr. Rilch and I regret to this day that he never got a photo of the marquee in McKeesport that said simply:

GO PENS

BEER

[WarmNPrickly]

Oh, he gets around. Just a year or two ago, my friend and I walked into a McDonald's that had Ronald McDonald there, live, in the flesh. It was surreal. Since we couldn't comprehend it, we turned and walked right back out and went to Burger King instead.

Why it couldn't be more than two years ago that, he personally gave an interview on MSNBC. I was thinking, wait a minute...you guys do realize he's fictional right?

[An Arky]

My guess is that English is not the primary language of the person responsible for the adverts on that sign. That could, of course, include American teenagers... ;)

[lavenderviolet]

What? You mean we can no longer rely on fast food workers for the witty eloquence that they've always been known for? Well, then, I guess there's no one else left to turn to. :(

[yellowval]

One weekend my husband and I had lunch at Taco John's. While we were sitting there I looked out the window and saw this on their sign:
Fire Sale
Eat here or people will be fired.

[NurseCarmen]

On a road trip, a McDonalds in southern Minnesota had a sign painted on plywood that said "Our People are our most important ingredient".

Hi, I'll have the soylent green burger and a side of fries please.

[gigi]

Man, that's like the anti-slogan; are they even trying?

Hey, McDonald's, may I propose a few new slogans for you?

"Hungry? We have food!"
"Try a hamburger. It is hot!"
"Come in and eat"
Denny's. A Good Place to Sit and Eat (http://www.dailyping.com/archive/2004/05/13/)


I'm just happy it didn't say "ITS COOL!"

[phall0106]

One weekend my husband and I had lunch at Taco John's. While we were sitting there I looked out the window and saw this on their sign:
Fire Sale
Eat here or people will be fired.

I would eat there just because that's a cool sign.

[Mindfield]

For the briefest of moments, in the nanoseconds before my brain had properly taken it all in and parsed it all out, the second sign appeared to me as:

---------------
VERY BIG!!!
ANUS
---------------

Try it! It is cool!

*ahem*

I don't know why, but I can't help but read those signs in either a thick Slavic or middle-eastern accent.

[Scarlett67]

One time we were sitting in a family-type restaurant next door to a Burger King, watching a uniformed drone change the sign. When he got done it said:

HERE'S FOR YOU
<whatever the special was>

A few minutes later he came back out with (presumably) the manager, who was pointing at the sign, waving his arms, and generally not happy.

We didn't get to stay long enough to find out what it got changed to.

"Here's for you"? :smack:

[Antinor01]

My guess is that English is not the primary language of the person responsible for the adverts on that sign. That could, of course, include American teenagers... ;)

That could be very true. Van Nuys is a heavily hispanic area, there are a lot of places where almost all of the signs are in spanish only.

[ZebraShaSha]

Burger King had a sign that said "Try our new cheesy bacon angus!" My friends changed the sign to "Try our new cheesy bacon anus!" We still laugh about that one.

Also, one time there was some homestyle cookery that had a sign that said "Best breasts in Atlanta." I think they forgot the chicken part. Or, I hope so.

[elmwood]

Dopers, all I have to say is: Try a salad. It is cool!!

As opposed to the sophisticated advertising slogans that were pitched to our grandparents, like ...

"Drink Coca-Cola"
"Drink Pepsi Cola"
"7up - You'll Like It"
"Insist on genuine [insert product name here]"

[Barrington]

Burger King had a sign that said "Try our new cheesy bacon angus!" My friends changed the sign to "Try our new cheesy bacon anus!" We still laugh about that one.When I was a kid, a local fishmonger often advertised FRESH CRAB, painted in large whitewash letters on the outside of his shop window. Whitewash rubs off easily. You can make a B into a P quite easily.

Funny thing is, he never seemed to notice. Next day, he'd wash it all off for that day's specials deals. Which often included FRESH CRAB again. For an hour, maybe. :D

[Least Original User Name Ever]

For the briefest of moments, in the nanoseconds before my brain had properly taken it all in and parsed it all out, the second sign appeared to me as:

---------------
VERY BIG!!!
ANUS
---------------

Try it! It is cool!

*ahem*

I don't know why, but I can't help but read those signs in either a thick Slavic or middle-eastern accent.

Are you saying Borat made those signs?

"Burger King has burgers that are small like anus of young boy!"
"Buy fries and I give quick handjob for extra dollar!"
"You drive in and get food or I piss in your fries."

[Otto]

"Buy fries and I give quick handjob for extra dollar!"
Sounds like an incredible deal.

"You drive in and get food or I piss in your fries."
Not really much of a threat. Buy food or he'll piss in the food you don't buy. Go ahead.

[Lightnin']

There's a Taco Time down the street from my office which routinely advertises such gems as "Special Crisp Meat" on their sign.

I don't even want to know what Crisp Meat is.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Sounds like an incredible deal.


Not really much of a threat. Buy food or he'll piss in the food you don't buy. Go ahead.


Excatly, but it's a mangled threat, which is what Borat would say.


I agree with the handjob. That's just stretching out the value of your hard-earned dollar.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Also, something I thought of when I was listening to a Budweiser commercial (the song that ends with "This is Buuuudweiser...this is beeeeeer.") That's advertising? This is my product. It's my product.

Here's a sponge. It cleans things.
This is fish. It's food.


What if we advertised the opposite way, seeing as how people have to be told explicitly what not to do with the product? apply directly to the fivehead!

This is a light bulb. Low in calories.
Monkey wrenches on sale! Don't use as a pillow.
Plungers...the other white meat!

[Rigamarole]

Excatly, but it's a mangled threat, which is what Borat would say.

You forgot, "Buy burger or I will crush you."

[MonkeyMensch]

As opposed to the sophisticated advertising slogans that were pitched to our grandparents, like ...

"Drink Coca-Cola"
"Drink Pepsi Cola"
"7up - You'll Like It"
"Insist on genuine [insert product name here]"

And the minimalist "EATS."

[Sunspace]

I used to be impressed by the upper-class fine-European-dining subtextual ambience of the delicatessen, until I learned that "delicatessen" is German for "good eats".

[Least Original User Name Ever]

You buy burger or I will crush the skulls of your children with large brick.

[Zebra]

Just yesterday I pass, yet another, cupcake place in NYC. They had a dry erase sign board outside that read.


BUY YOUR @%#&*@&^ CUPCAKES HERE!
OR ELSE!

[Count Blucher]

For the briefest of moments, in the nanoseconds before my brain had properly taken it all in and parsed it all out, the second sign appeared to me as:

---------------
VERY BIG!!!
ANUS
---------------

Try it! It is cool!

*ahem*

I don't know why, but I can't help but read those signs in either a thick Slavic or middle-eastern accent.

Well, that tops the "Wham-Bamm Breakfast" sign I saw in Wildwood one year. And it explains where they hide the winning game pieces for 'Monopoly'.

[Terrifel]

The really sad thing is that McDonalds' official slogan has been "I'm Lovin' It" for some time now.

Seriously, this is the largest restaurant chain in the world! Can you imagine the enormous wad of cash they must have forked over to the ad agency? You could crank out a better slogan on a Ouija board.

And some poor minimum-wage slob gave away "TRY A SALAD IT IS COOL!!" for FREE! Hell, I'm hungry for salad right now, just thinking about it.

[Hostile Dialect]

Not really much of a threat. Buy food or he'll piss in the food you don't buy. Go ahead.

Presumably, the "specially seasoned" fries would be free. Only fair, really.

[OpalCat]

Also, one time there was some homestyle cookery that had a sign that said "Best breasts in Atlanta." I think they forgot the chicken part. Or, I hope so.
I've never heard Cheetah's described as a homestyle cookery before.