Well, she's gone

[tdn]

I met her just about 21 years ago, Summer of '86. She was a FOAF. Then I hung out with her a bit in the company of mutual friends. A good friend invited her to a gaming session, and she's attended ever since. She met her first husband in my apartment. Unfortunately, I took the wrong train to her wedding and so I missed it. But I made her second wedding. The food was delicious, and the band rocked. I was one of the few of her friends invited up to the wedding suite to party with her. (The real party started after we left, I hope.) After all of our gaming friends left own, she and I still played. I remember having to help her up off of the floor when she was about 16 months pregnant. Her husband turned from party animal to Nicest Guy in the World. Their children are beautiful.

The husband's mother is getting on in years, so she convinced them to buy a house. They got quite a nice little place -- with an inground swimming pool, no less -- for $119k. In, of all places, Pittsburgh. *shudder*

I spent the day with her on Saturday. All day. And a little time with the husband and kids, and a couple of other friends. They move out today, and move in on Wednesday.

So Cheryl, goodbye. And Chip, Cori, and Nolan. You've been great friends. Best of luck in your new life. Come back and visit.

Often.

[Finagle]

Well, I sympathize, but I'd rather you hadn't shaped the post as a eulogy. The woman is in Pittsburgh, not dead of a horrible wasting disease. (Yeah, we could make a Pittsburgh joke here, but I've been informed by reliable friends that it's actually a decent place to live.)

[Uncommon Sense]

ON the bright side, you can go to Pittsburgh to visit and spend some quality time with them, since the only reason to go to Pittsburgh would be to visit them. :p

[Mama Tiger]

Wow, I thought your OP was going to end with her dying of cancer. Dude, it's only Pittsburgh. And we have these modern conveniences called phones and computers and whatnot to stay in touch. It's really not all that hard.

[Triskadecamus]

Whaddya mean, "It's only Pittsburg."?

The woman went to Pittsburg!

I weep for you, and your loss, man. Good gamer chicks are a treasure. And now the treasure is hidden in the dark steel city.

Tris

Tris

[tdn]

Sorry to mislead, but...

Wow, I thought your OP was going to end with her dying of cancer. Dude, it's only Pittsburgh.
...what's your point?

[Snooooopy]

I hear that the medical care in Pittsburgh is fantastic. I have every confidence that the doctors there can figure out how she could ever be 16 months pregnant.

[tdn]

I weep for you, and your loss, man. Good gamer chicks are a treasure.
Yeah, and she was the last of my latest group. One member moved away to become a farmer (I don't think it worked out), and one died.

[Phlosphr]

{{{{SLAP}}}}}

"SNAP OUT OF IT"

Are you that far away, you can't visit her? Is she a friend or a friend??? Were you secretly emotionally involved with this woman? Write her emails, send her pics of you and your new adventures and take the train.

[/snarky hat off]

You seemed to have quite an emotional attachment to this woman, do you have an SO?

[tdn]

You seemed to have quite an emotional attachment to this woman, do you have an SO?
No, and no. Yeah, I made this seem far more sad than it really is. But I hate to see her go.

She says she'll come back every now and then. I'm happy about that.

[Duke of Rat]

You seemed to have quite an emotional attachment to this woman, do you have an SO?

You're new around here, right?

[tdn]

You're new around here, right?
:D

Really, she's just a friend. But a good friend.

[Phlosphr]

:D

Really, she's just a friend. But a good friend.
:D gotcha.

I hate it when friends leave too. It was just the wording of your post mad eit sound like the sky was falling :)

[Mama Tiger]

Sorry to mislead, but...


...what's your point?

Just that it's not like she died, which was where your OP sounded like it was going. She moved to a large American city. She's not in remotest Outer Mongolia. Really, it's possible to stay in touch with friends even after they move away. That's all.

[Duke of Rat]

:D



Man, I'm glad you took that well. It kinda sounded, no really sounded, dickish after I posted it.

[tdn]

Just that it's not like she died, which was where your OP sounded like it was going.
Yes, it was misleading. Sorry about that. But I think you were whooshed a little there. I was being unkind to Pittburgh.

But apparently that area has the finest schools in the state. They're happy about that. And while Cheryl is unhappy about being so far from the ocean, she psyched about buying a cheap house with a pool.

[JustAnotherGeek]

Da Burgh ain't that far away. I can make it in about 9 hours from Worcester. (I was bright enough to leave after college, but some friends weren't.)

I will say that there are two reasons to visit (besides your friends): Phipps Conservatory (http://www.phipps.conservatory.org/) and The National Aviary (http://www.aviary.org/). (Right now, Phipps has a special exhibit with Chihuly's work - well worth a trip on its own.)

[Solfy]

Whaddya mean, "It's only Pittsburg."?

The woman went to Pittsburg!


Please to be remembering the H (http://www.carnegielibrary.org/exhibit/hname12.html). Thank you.

[tdn]

Man, I'm glad you took that well. It kinda sounded, no really sounded, dickish after I posted it.
It was a little dickish. But funny!

I must be coming off as really needy in a lot of threads lately. I'm really not that way. But my social life has experienced a lot of upheaval lately, and that makes for delicious posting material.

[Mama Tiger]

Oops, looks like I fell for the whoosh hook, line, and sinker, to mangle a metaphor. :D

[Autolycus]

Umm.. condolences for your.. loss? I dont know what to say. I'm sure you'll be able to visit her right?

[Stranger On A Train]

Well, I sympathize, but I'd rather you hadn't shaped the post as a eulogy. The woman is in Pittsburgh, not dead of a horrible wasting disease. (Yeah, we could make a Pittsburgh joke here, but I've been informed by reliable friends that it's actually a decent place to live.)Now, if only she'd move to Baltimore...

Stranger

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Christ, Stranger, why would you wish that on anyone?


*quickly hides his location*

[phouka]

Oh, geez, you totally had me worried for a minute.

I'd offer to game, but I'm even further away.

[Sunrazor]

Hey, everybody, just back off of tdn. Yeah, there are airplanes and phones and e-mail and text messaging and blah, blah, blah. Thirty years ago I shook the hand of my very best friend in the world and we vowed to get back together again, to fly together, to write together, to bunk down in crappy hotel rooms in the interest of journalism again. Never did it. His career took him one way, mine too me my way. We kept in touch as best we could with phone calls and letters (pre-WWW days) but we went longer and longer between communication. Now I've lost track of Tom altogether. The truth is, it takes every penny we can scrape together just to go see our sons once every two years. never mind an old Army newspaper buddy.

I'm sorry, tdn, you've suffered a real loss. Do the best you can to keep in touch with Cheryl, but know that you will eventually lose her completely. Cherish your friendship, label those photgraphs her now so you don't forget ten, twenty, thirty years from now why you took them in the first place.

[Mama Tiger]

I have a friend who I met my first week of college who I've now known for two-thirds of my life. We may not get to hang out together as much as we once did, but we still stay on top of each other's lives. In fact, I'm going to her younger son's bar mitzvah this October. Even though I live a thousand miles away.

So no, you don't have to end up losing someone completely. It's entirely possible to stay in touch. I know that K. and I will be friends for the rest of our lives; we've amply proven that over the years.

Don't buy into Sunrazor's negativity, tdn. If the friendship is that valuable to you, you'll find a way to keep it going. It may change, but it doesn't have to disappear entirely.

[Autolycus]

.
Do the best you can to keep in touch with Cheryl, but know that you will eventually lose her completely.

On the other hand, last year I re-established contact with my best friend from 3rd-5th grade through Facebook. The world is becoming much smaller, and with effort I dont see any reason why friendships have to vanish entirely.

[threnodyangelfire]

So she's moved away, like others have said, we're living in the age of communication -there's phone, text, email, instant messenger, facebook, myspace and a bunch of otherways to keep in touch.

TDN, I seriously thought that you had had someone really close to you die, but she's only moved away. I realise this is a big thing for you, but is it really the be all and end all of your friendship if you have to resort to other ways of communication? And like others have said, it means that you can anticipate visiting each other!

[cerberus]

:D

What's with the 16 month gestation thing? Wouldn't her OB/GYN induce labor round about the 10th month?

[Scylla]

I sense that you loved her secretly from a distance and it was always an unrequited love, but that you sensed something from her as well.

I also sense that when you were gaming your characters had an affair.

[Siam Sam]

Please to be remembering the H (http://www.carnegielibrary.org/exhibit/hname12.html). Thank you.
Indeed. Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania, but Pittsburg is in Kansas.

[bbs2k]

Most misleading thread title, EVAH!

At least you guys can still game together. And what's worse than an excuse to travel?

[Triskadecamus]

Please to be remembering the H (http://www.carnegielibrary.org/exhibit/hname12.html). Thank you.Well, for me, getting the H out of Pittsburgh is pretty much a reflex.

Tris

[initech]

Indeed. Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania, but Pittsburg is in Kansas.

And California. and Texas.

And New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alabama, Colorado, Florida...

[elbows]

My best friend moved thousands of miles away to SE Asia, that was twenty years ago. I've visited several times and I miss her at times terribly.

But as long as she draws breath somewhere on this earth we will always be best friends.

Yeah things will change but she's still right there. Some friendships are very special, rare, and unique things. My experience tells me those ones seem to survive intact regardless of the distance. Perhaps even *shudder* Pittsburgh!