What would you ask the president of Turkmenistan?

[GilaB]

For the past few years, Columbia U has been having a 'World Leaders Forum,' in which various presidents, prime ministers, and other VIPs come speak and have a Q&A with students and faculty. I've signed up to go hear Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, the president of Turkmenistan, next week. I feel like I should go in with some good questions, although I'm sure there will be people there who know much more about the region than I do. What would you ask him? I know a little about his megalomaniacal predecessor, but very little about the current guy.

Of course, what I really want is a month named after me, but I'm sure he'd rather name one for his wife or some other undeserving person :D

[Litoris]

Well, being as how I am one of those annoying people who never does what people expect, I would be inclined to ask him something like "what's your favorite type of music?" It actually is a question that can give insight into a person's personality while still being a bit on the quirky side :D

[OneCentStamp]

Dear President Berdymukhammedov: How old were you before you could spell that ridiculous name? Are you at all certain, even today, that you get it right most of the time?

[Boyo Jim]

Do you have banana stands there too?

[Ravenman]

I'd ask him why, when he was Minister of Health, he carried out a bizarre order from the dictatorial former president to close hospitals outside of Turkmenistan's capital city.

http://web.amnesty.org/library/Index/ENGEUR610012005?open&of=ENG-348

(Actually, I'm not certain he carried it out. Maybe I'd ask what he did.)

[Astroboy14]

*Reviewing everything I know about Turkmenistan*

"Um... how's it hangin'?"

[Harmonious Discord]

Does he know that one of his former buddies is funneling money to Americans via email?

Can he locate his county on a world map? Can he name the capitals of all the states and name the states while pointing to a map of the United States? They seem to think Americans should be able to do that for all the new country names in Europe and Asia.

[Slithy Tove]

Regarding the issuance of guest worker visas between Ashgabat and Ankara:

"Who gave Istanbul the workmen-istan?"

[cookeze]

What part of Turkey is that? The north or the south?

[Intelligently Designed]

What are your general feelings with regards to the fact that Borat chose neighbor Kazakhstan instead of your country?

[KneadToKnow]

"Um... how's it hangin'?"
Down around mine ankles, t'ank you.

[Shagnasty]

Do you have any rogue nukes around from the Soviet era? Don't answer now. Can I call you later?

[The Understander]

Down around mine ankles, t'ank you.

Why is President Berdymukhammedov's 'it' hanging around your ankles?

[KneadToKnow]

Sorry, I was channelling. Next show, 10:30.

[Boyo Jim]

Well, being as how I am one of those annoying people who never does what people expect, I would be inclined to ask him something like "what's your favorite type of music?" It actually is a question that can give insight into a person's personality while still being a bit on the quirky side :D

Is there a name for that screaming yodel thing the women do?

[Arnold Winkelried]

What are your plans for improving the human rights situation in Turkmenistan? Do you plan on forcing an investigation in the death of Ogulsapar Muradova, the human rights activist who was sentenced to 6 years imprisonment in 2006 and died in prison shortly afterwards? Do you plan on releasing prisoners of conscience in your prisons? Will you give the International Red Cross access to prisoners?

Amnesty International Press Release, February 2007 (http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?lang=e&id=ENGUSA20070208001)

Is the book written by former president-for-life Saparmurat Niyazov, Ruhnama (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruhnama), still treated as a holy book? Is it still used as part of the curriculum in high schools?

[Arnold Winkelried]

Can he name the capitals of all the states and name the states while pointing to a map of the United States? They seem to think Americans should be able to do that for all the new country names in Europe and Asia.But, expecting a Turkmen to be able to name all the states in the USA would be like expecting an American to be able to name and place on a map all the provinces in Turkmenistan.

[KneadToKnow]

Is there a name for that screaming yodel thing the women do?
So you mean ululation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ululate)?

[Cluricaun]

Is there a name for that screaming yodel thing the women do?

Ululation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ululation)

[Cluricaun]

So you mean ululation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ululate)?

Damn you. :cool:

[Shagnasty]

But, expecting a Turkmen to be able to name all the states in the USA would be like expecting an American to be able to name and place on a map all the provinces in Turkmenistan.

I have to disagree on that one although it would be a ridiculous question. The primary unit of government in the United States are the states hence the name. The states are not a subdivision of the federal government. They are a permanent coalition that support the existence of the federal government. Most states are bigger than most countries and function roughly like them in terms of everyday impact on the lives of their residents. You can find parallels all over the world such as entities that are part of the UK or maybe even the old Soviet Union. It isn't unreasonable for outsiders to study things at that level. That isn't the same thing as knowing, say, the counties in England because the level of political and practical importance isn't comparable.

[Arnold Winkelried]

All right then, from the size/population point of view, it would be like asking George Bush to name and place on a map all the states of India or all the provinces of China. From a governmental point of view (permanent coalition of smaller governmental entiities), it would be like asking George Bush to name and place on a map all the cantons of Switzerland (this might apply to India too but I'm not 100% sure).

Also, from a foreign policy point of view (which would be one of the main concerns of a president from a foreign country), the US states act like one entity.

[Boyo Jim]

I don't think George Bush could name all the United States, let alone those of India or China.

[Rysdad]

How highly rated is your sister?

[Caffeine.addict]

I would ask him about the educational system in Turkmenistan and the requirement that students have to work for two years before attending which has caused the numbers to drop dramatically.

I would ask him why all degrees obtained abroad in 1993 are not considered valid in Turkmenistan. My cite. (http://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/Turkmenistan.html) Here (http://www.eurasianet.org/departments/rights/articles/eav050504.shtml) is another article explaining more of the same.

[Colophon]

"Do you mind if I call you 'Guly'?"

[Colophon]

Dear President Berdymukhammedov: How old were you before you could spell that ridiculous name? Are you at all certain, even today, that you get it right most of the time?
Actually, it seems that's a whole can of worms. Have a look at the protracted discussions on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Gurbanguly_Berdimuhammedow)!

[Desert Nomad]

Can he locate his county on a world map? Can he name the capitals of all the states and name the states while pointing to a map of the United States? They seem to think Americans should be able to do that for all the new country names in Europe and Asia.

I can do that.

I was in Turkmenistan in 1998 and it was very much a Turkmenbashi personality cult. I'd ask him how he plans to bring Turkmenistan from an isolated backwater into the modern world. When I crossed the border to Iran you can not imagine how much better everything was, it was like going from Mexico to the US.

[GilaB]

How much did people seem to take the Turkmenbashi thing seriously - were they really worshipful, or did it seem like something to which they paid lip service? I have trouble even reading the stuff about him with a straight face.

Thanks for all the questions, everybody!