Monfort: Care to make a wager with the Devil?

[Satan]

No, not for your soul. For your sig!

Taking a cue from another *ahem* friendly wager placed elsewhere, I am laying down the gauntlet.

My Giants will destroy your Iggles this weekend in Giants Stadium, just like we beat you in your own house.

I am on a roll against you, pal: I kicked your ass last week in The Teeming Minions Fantasy Football League (with two positions open, I must add!) and, of course, my beloved Yankees thwarted your evil thoughts by winning yet ANOTHER World Series, in a battle of your two worst nightmare teams.

So, let's have this game be the icing on my cake of defeating you, eh Cheesesteak breath?

Now then, the stakes: The winner will write a sig file for the loser. The loser must use this sig file for 100 posts. Anything within the SDMB rules can be in this sig file, and it has to be reasonable length - if a Moderator says it is too long, it's too long.

So how about it, tough guy? You in?
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 5 hours, 11 minutes and 56 seconds.
8048 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,006.08.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 6 days, 22 hours, 40 minutes.

[Silver Fire]

Don't do it, Montfort!! Oh, this can only end badly...

(Satan, a dollar says he's sleeping or something.)

[Satan]

The game isn't until Sunday, dearie. If he's sleeping THAT long, he's got worse problems than my wager... :)
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 5 hours, 40 minutes and 56 seconds.
8049 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,006.18.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 6 days, 22 hours, 45 minutes.

[Silver Fire]

Originally posted by Satan
The game isn't until Sunday, dearie.

Yep. I know. I'm just saying that you probably won't get a response from him until sometime after the sun comes up. :)

[SPOOFE]

I'll bet with you, Satan! I... wait a minute...

Sig lines?!? I thought that said "sex lives"...

[Falcon]

Can't imagine what gave Satan this idea..... ;)

(And according to Yahoo Messenger, Montfort is in fact still asleep.)

[Montfort]

Okay, beelezebub, you're on. The Eagles will beat the Giants, straight up (no point spread -- although I'm sure it'd only help me -- I'm that confident), on Sunday.

I can't wait to see a sig that says something like...


Yer pal,
Satan (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43890)

TIME ELAPSED SINCE THE EAGLES WHIPPED THE GIANTS:
Three months, four days, 5 hours, 40 minutes and 56 seconds.
8049 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,006.18.
Extra time acknowledging Montfort's football prognisticating supremacy: Three months, four days, 5 hours, 40 minutes and 56 seconds.
I'm gonna have to think of something for that "cigarettes not smoked" line, but I'm sure I'll think of something ere Sunday 7:15pm. Of course, I'm open to advice, folks.

Remember, too, the last person to make a football-related bet with me. Whammo? How's Anniz doing? :)

(BTW, Satan, there are two ts in my name. Just not next to each other. And, I have no elephant books.)

[Montfort]

The sig is for one hundred posts, not one hundred days.

So, I'll have to revise the rules:

No test posts (except to test out your new sig, of course)
No post padding

There's no cheesesteak on my breath, either. Unless it's a tofu cheesesteak.

[Gazoo]

Montfort - Perhaps instead of the # of cigarettes line, you should change it to "Number of Posts in which I have Praised Montfort's football knowledge supremacy." Or something to that effect.

Go IGGLES!!!

[Anniz]

Go Eagles, goooooooooo!!!!
I hope you don't lose your sig MOntfort:):)

[Satan]

New rules? Trust me - I would not change my posting style for any wager, mustard-on-pretzel face.

Besides, this is not a wager that I plan on losing...

As for you Gazoo, I am already smiting you. Don't push your luck, Jimmy The Geek!
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 17 hours, 59 minutes and 40 seconds.
8069 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,008.75.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 25 minutes.

[b]THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[Montfort]

Now I really hope I win, just to get rid of that obnoxious (but typical New Yawkah) addition to you sig you added today.

[Satan]

Imagine how obnoxious it'll look as your sig! :D
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 18 hours, 22 minutes and 22 seconds.
8070 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,008.83.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 30 minutes.

[b]THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[Montfort]

Originally posted by Satan
Imagine how obnoxious it'll look as your sig! :D
And that's all I'll be doing is imagining it.

[Satan]

Trust me, Montfort... I've heard your music. You don't have that vivid an imagination...
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 19 hours, 40 minutes and 57 seconds.
8072 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,009.10.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 40 minutes.

[b]THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[Montfort]

Well, I guess it's good then that I don't need to have a vivid imagination in order to think about your sig being under my name. After all, it's rather shallow and immature.

:)

[Satan]

Originally posted by Montfort

Well, I guess it's good then that I don't need to have a vivid imagination in order to think about your sig being under my name. After all, it's rather shallow and immature.

I don't need a critical review here, Monty!

I said that I already heard your music...
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 20 hours, 40 minutes and 23 seconds.
8074 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,009.31.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 50 minutes.

[b]THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[Montfort]

Hey, you started with the criticism.

And, that music is the past now.

[Lloyd]

I say you bet Satan starting up smoking again. It only seems fair.

[Satan]

Um... No?

:wally
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 21 hours, 1 minute and 5 seconds.
8075 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,009.38.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 55 minutes.

[b]THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[Montfort]

I'm an ex-smoker myself, and I wouldn't want anyone to start smoking.

Although, he might do it, voluntarily, after he realises that the Eagles will beat the Giants.

[Satan]

Trust me... With prognosticating skills like that, it's obvious you MUST be smoking SOMETHING!
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 21 hours, 55 minutes and 42 seconds.
8076 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,009.57.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 1 hour, 0 minutes.

[b]THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[DRY]

"'tis not for gravity to play
at cherry-pit with Satan"
--Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene iv

I have to admit I'm rooting for Satan... :eek:

(...only because I picked the Giants in my football pool)

[Montfort]

Five minutes left in the second quarter, it's a defensive battle. 7-0 Giants.

Eagles are starting to warm up on offense, though. I'm still confident.

[Enderw24]

Would you guys keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate on the Chiefs here.

[Falcon]

Midway through the 3rd quarter, it's 14-0 Giants.

Hopefully Philly will pull it off....

[Silo]

Early 4th quarter
Giants 17 - Eagles 0

I think it's safe to say Satan already won!

[Montfort]

:(

[Grendel69]

Damn Jersey Giants.

[Drain Bead]

Satan is on his way with the sig. Since I came up with most of it, I know what it is...and it's goooood.

*snicker*

[Silver Fire]

Originally posted by Silver Fire
Don't do it, Montfort!! Oh, this can only end badly...


See? SEE?!

[Satan]

All bolded please, and as follows:

After spending my weekend fellating every member of the NY Giants (who are far superior to the Iggles) and world champion Yankees, I can say with absolute certainty that their penises are all much larger than mine. But my mom says Satan's is the biggest of them all!

T'was a pleasure watching your team be humiliated yet again, Monty! And I shall remember this every time I see a ost of yours for some time! :D

Also, thanks to Drain Bead for major contributions (okay, almost all of it) to the sig. Remind me never to get in a flame war or lose a bat to her! :)

WOOO!! Way to go GIANTS!!!!
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, three weeks, 11 minutes and 55 seconds.
8160 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,020.04.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 8 hours, 0 minutes.

THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[Montfort]

Originally posted by Satan
All bolded please, and as follows:

After spending my weekend fellating every member of the NY Giants (who are far superior to the Iggles) and world champion Yankees, I can say with absolute certainty that their penises are all much larger than mine. But my mom says Satan's is the biggest of them all!

T'was a pleasure watching your team be humiliated yet again, Monty! And I shall remember this every time I see a ost of yours for some time! :D
Humble pie humbly eaten.

[Satan]

So you are at 1102 posts as of now, so I will be seeing that sig until you hit 1203!

Oh, God! I forgot that the board automatically changes all posts to the updated sig! THis is better than I thought!!! :D
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan (http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg)

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, three weeks, 17 minutes and 3 seconds.
8160 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,020.06.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 8 hours, 0 minutes.

THE YANKEES WIN! THAAAAAAH YANKEES WIN!
1996 · 1998 ··· WORLD CHAMPIONS ··· 1999 · 2000
26 Titles! The #1 Dynasty of all-time!
And most importantly... RULERS OF NYC!!

[beagledave]

:eek: :p

[Montfort]

Originally posted by Satan
Oh, God! I forgot that the board automatically changes all posts to the updated sig! THis is better than I thought!!! :D
Yeah, it does. Since you don't use the standard sig function, if I had won the bet, yours would've been there for eternity. Mine, however, will disappear once I finish posting 96 or so more times.

[DRY]

Originally posted by DRY
"'tis not for gravity to play
at cherry-pit with Satan"
--Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene iv



Psst! Isn't it time to nominate one of Montfort's threads for threadspotting?? :p

:fleeing:

[Anniz]

Aaaaaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!
I'm sorry you lost Montfort
Tell me what I can do to make you happy again?:):D