Nasty things that members of the opposite sex have said to you.

[Autolycus]

Let's air out some dirty laundry. I'll start.

So, I was at my college's gym the other day, when I bumped into a girl that I know. I liked this girl a little, but I freely admit that my flirting was awkward and I did not think this girl had any interest in me at all. I was fine with that, as I was just saying hello. After my greeting, she said to me: "We have to stop bumping into each other like this. There must be some law against it." Her friend tells her to stop it, and they skitter off. It's a good thing I had karate practice after that....

Still though, it doesn't top what an ex-girlfriend was said to her by her now ex-husband, that their young toddler's pneumonia was her fault because she was a weak mother. I could go on, but I'm afraid this would turn into a pitting.

OK, your turns!

[Ferret Herder]

In college, a friend and I were walking along the street on the way to our dorm. A car with two guys pulled up and one said, "You two are fat but I'd fuck you anyway," and then they drove off. We both stood there with "WTF?!" looks on our faces. Probably the worst part is that my first thought was, "I am not fat!" (I had a bulky and oversized sweater on, so yeah, I did look it) rather than something about what an asshole he was.

[olivesmarch4th]

Gladly. I once dated a guy for three days, who broke up with me with the line:
''I'm sorry. I just can't bring myself to be physically attracted to you.''

Then there was a very good friend I had, a weird guy prone to saying and doing random things with no preamble whatsoever. One day we were sitting in his dorm room studying and chatting, and he suddenly turned, pointed at me with a thoughtful, almost scientific tone of voice, and said, ''You really have such undesirable qualities for a woman.''

Man, and that's just my adult life. Don't even get me started about junior high.

[Alice The Goon]

I try not to reminisce about the bad stuff, but I did have a friend, expressing his unrequited love for me, tell me that I was sometimes the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and sometimes the ugliest. Hmpf.

[FilmGeek]

Second date: "I think I can do better."

Later, he asked me to be a job reference. I declined.

[Kricket]

Best pick-up line ever! I bartend on Saturdays and this is from a 24yo.

Him: hey, just how old are you?

Me: 35

Him: I've done worse.

Me: wow, you must get all the ladies because that was real smooth.

[drachillix]

Him: hey, just how old are you?

Me: 35

Checks ID, notes age 37.

How you doin'

[OtakuLoki]

"You look like a child molester."

[dangermom]

In high school, a bunch of us were sitting around and a buddy of mine was worrying about what present to get his girlfriend (note: his 1st gf, I'm not sure they had much in common except that he thought he needed one!). He turned to me and said "If you were a real girl, what would you want for Christmas?" Thanks, dude. I think I hit him.

[olivesmarch4th]

"If you were a real girl, what would you want for Christmas?" Thanks, dude. I think I hit him.

When I was in 7th grade, there was this guy who was relentlessly evil to me--he had no explanation for it, other than he was nice to everyone else and it got boring after a while.

One day we're sitting in band class.

Him: I saw this movie last night called ''The Beast.'' It was about this giant ugly sea creature who ate people.
Me: Was it scary?
Him: No. I have to sit next to you every day, after all. Nothing is more traumatic than that.

He then managed to convince every single person in that class to refer to me as ''Beast.'' To every single person in my band, including incoming freshmen, I was ''Beast'' from 7th grade all the way up through graduating high school. My very best friends referred to me offhandedly as ''Beast,'' and they called my Mom ''Mrs. Beast.'' To her face. Many people in my band did not know my actual first name. By that point, I guess it was a term of... endearment.

Will never forget junior prom, when all of my guy friends stared at me in amazement and sputtered, ''Beast is a girl?!!''

*sigh*

[Euryphaessa]

Ugh, seventh grade After School Activity Program (Seriously, we had such a sweet deal in middle school - we got out at 2 o' clock instead of 3 o'clock and we could either do a particular activity until 3 or just go home). We were playing badminton and my partner and I lost, and one of the guys on the other team was being such a little shit about his victory. I, feisty female that I am, tapped him on the head with the flat side of my racquet in an effort to get him to shut up. Except my aim was off (maybe that's why we lost the match) and I kind of caught him with the edge a bit. Still, he was a total pussy about it. He turned to me and said "OW! What was that for?" I was like "How about you shut up about winning?" He counters with the oh-so-clever "Hey, fatty, why don't you go have some pie?" I kind of stared at him, thinking: "WTF? I don't even like pie."

[fishbicycle]

"Are you flaky?"

Said by my mother, after I explained how I talked my way out of being sexually molested by a pedophile at a shopping mall when I was 13.

[Pullet]

"Are you flaky?"

Said by my mother, after I explained how I talked my way out of being sexually molested by a pedophile at a shopping mall when I was 13.

WTF?

Seriously, I am confuse. Please give more story.

[fishbicycle]

I was standing outside the radio station in a shopping mall, watching the DJ, when a man started talking to me. He invited me up to his hotel room, and the conversation turned to sex. I've always been a pretty sharp cookie, and it took me about an hour to convince him that this is not what he wanted to do to me, and I left without being touched.

When I got back to my family and told the story to my mother, she as much as asked me if I was a fag.

It's alright, she's dead now.

[kambuckta]

When I got back to my family and told the story to my mother, she as much as asked me if I was a fag.

It's alright, she's dead now.

:D

[dnooman]

"You're the kind of guy that some lucky girl is gonna marry."

Thanks, girl that won't date me. Your prophecy appeases my libido. To the library!


Seriously though, "You're the marrying type" ranks exactly one step above "You are going to die alone, your grandparents will discover your porn, and you'll be libeled posthumously as being a necro-homo-pedo".

[olivesmarch4th]

Seriously though, "You're the marrying type" ranks exactly one step above "You are going to die alone, your grandparents will discover your porn, and you'll be libeled posthumously as being a necro-homo-pedo.''

In what may have been my own cruelest move against a member of the opposite sex, I once told my now-husband, in an attempt to make him feel better about my reluctance to date him, that I found our bond profound and irreplaceable. Almost as if he were my brother...

[HazelNutCoffee]

Apart from what random guys yell out on the street: once a friend and I were at a party, talking to some dude who was completely trashed. He had been hitting on my friend all night. Suddenly he stops what he's saying and looks as if he's had an epiphany.

"This is just like Grey's Anatomy! We have the white dude, the hot chick, and the Asian chick!"

I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all, while my friend looks more than offended enough for the both of us. (I'm Asian, by the way. That's the only way any of this makes sense. :) )

[AngelicGemma]

This probably isn't the worst, but it's one that springs to mind as it only happened a couple of days ago.

Him mouthing - "Call me!"

While he was hugging his girlfriend.

Classy.

[Hilarity N. Suze]

This guy I used to date kept making references to the (non)fact that I'd been married before, i.e. "You're awfully young to be divorced." In fact I had never been married--too young for that, too. Finally I asked him why he persisted in thinking I'd been married and he said, "You look like the kind of woman somebody would have divorced."

:confused:

[KGS]

"I've been sleeping with your roommate for the past two months."

A few weeks later, she said to my (ex-)roommate: "I'm pregnant." That was some SWEET Karma. :D

[lorene]

"I can talk to you very easily. The pretty girls make me too nervous to talk, but you, I can talk to."

Thanks. Now stop talking, asshole.

[Idlewild]

I was maybe 14 at the time and walking down the street. Now, even in my younger, slender days I had a magnificent and disproportionate ass. At 14, I had also not developed a counterbalancing top half, but whatever. So this older guy starts talking to me, hitting on me. Older as in perhaps 20. I was a: somewhat flattered and b: entirely clueless as to how to get him to go away. We chatted for a while before he came out with: "You know, you'd be really hot if your ass were smaller."

Suave.

[DianaG]

A little over a year ago, I ran into a guy I'd gone out on a couple of dates with in high school, and after a couple of minutes of polite conversation, he said "Damn, you got fat." I responded (with a smile on my face!) that I realized that, but since he'd gotten fat and bald, I still win. And then I spent the rest of the day trying to remember if I'd maybe fucked his best friend or something. Because really, who says something like that? Some people have no home training.

I also remember a guy telling me I'd have really pretty eyes, if they were blue. Um, thanks?

[Santo Rugger]

I met a pretty cute gal, and we decided to go out for some drinks. We went by my buddies house, had a couple beers, then went by her friends house for a couple beers, and ended up at the closest thing Santa Fe had to a night club, which has since closed. I bought a couple rounds of drinks, and we started dancing.

We went back to our table, and she said, "You know, I'm not really attracted to you, and my friend is here, so you can just leave whenever."

I started walking home since I was way too trashed to be driving at this point, and on the way, I got hit by a car. :( My knee still hurts after rugby games, and that was 10 months ago.

[Beware of Doug]

It was Halloween. I suggested to my voluptuous, perky, flirtatious, mentally unstable hosebeast-in-training girlfriend at the time that we meet up at her place and dress like gangsters. (Both male, as she had no gun-moll type clothing and neither did I.)

She got a little too into it as she began enthusing about the idea of drawing a mustache on herself. An uneasy development, as I had hoped to use the dressing-up-and-undressing-afterwards routine as a nice segue into sex, and here she was wanting to really look like a man.

I said, "Hey, c'mon, you don't really want a mustache, do you?" Whereupon she came back with: "Oh god, I knew it. You're anxious about being gay."

Which we'd never even discussed. Helloooooo??? (Sure, I'm anxious about women, but it's got about zilch to do with gay.)

Honey, if you're hot to trot, why go there? That was such a buzzkill.

(It was just as well, though. As I said, she was mentally unstable and a hosebeast-in-training. If I'd'a tapped that, who knows where I'd be now.)

[Telperien]

After extolling my virtues as one of the best three lays he'd ever had: "The best sex I've ever had has been with ugly chicks!"

About a minute later, when he heard me breathe and realized that I hadn't yet hung up on him: "...and you!"

I will never let him live that down. Ever.

[Barrett Bonden]

While I was busy being a poor grad student, this guy tried to sell me magazine subscriptions to finance his college education. (Or so he said.) I was much politer back then, and so agreed to listen to his routine even though I had already explained that I didn't want a subscription. He flipped his laminated card to the pink-highlighted side and asked,

"Do you like Cosmo?"

"No."

"Elle?"

"No."

"Style?"

"No."

"Madmoiselle?"

"No."

"People?"

"No."

He looked at me a moment, and flipped the card over to show the blue side.

"Do you like Fortune?"

"Yes."

"Time?"

"Yes."

"US News?"

"Yes."

"Business Week?"

"Yes."

Then he moved in for the kill.

"Do you like girls?"

Smooth, friend. Smooth.

[Slithy Tove]

Not to me, but in my fifth grade class there was a boy who was exited about his mom having had a baby girl. Then a few days later he was sitting at his desk downcast and muttered "my baby sister died last night."

Without missing a beat, the little girl next to him said "well, after taking one look at your ugly face I'm not surprised."

Sometimes I think Edward Gorey (http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/stage/7535/gorey.html) had a better understanding of children than did, say, Mr. Rogers.

[Robot Arm]

"I can talk to you very easily. The pretty girls make me too nervous to talk, but you, I can talk to."

Thanks. Now stop talking, asshole.You didn't say that last part, right? I mean, the guy's got enough trouble being blind and all.

[phouka]

On seeing what was, at the time, my favorite picture of myself, my soon-to-be ex said, "Huh. No wonder you didn't date in college. You looked like a lesbian."

[Gala Matrix Fire]

Geez. Way back in junior high my usual tormenter, while the class was talking about future careers, said to me, "You probably want to be a prostitute, but you'd go broke!"

My first boyfriend: "Last night I had a dream about you. Well, it was you if you'd been going to a gym for two years..."

There's probably more. I probably just blocked it out. I think the most hurtful was reading in my husband-at-the-time's journal about the only woman he had ever loved...and it wasn't me. Hey dude, I wasn't pregnant, you didn't have to marry me.

[Heffalump and Roo]

So, I was at my college's gym the other day, when I bumped into a girl that I know. I liked this girl a little, but I freely admit that my flirting was awkward and I did not think this girl had any interest in me at all. I was fine with that, as I was just saying hello. After my greeting, she said to me: "We have to stop bumping into each other like this. There must be some law against it." Her friend tells her to stop it, and they skitter off. It's a good thing I had karate practice after that....
:confused: I guess it's just me because no one else questioned this, but why is this a nasty thing?
It kinda sounds like she was flirting with you and her friend told her to stop flirting. Other than that, I don't get the meaning. In other contexts I've seen it (on TV), it's been like a pick-up line.

[hawksgirl]

:confused: I guess it's just me because no one else questioned this, but why is this a nasty thing?
It kinda sounds like she was flirting with you and her friend told her to stop flirting. Other than that, I don't get the meaning. In other contexts I've seen it (on TV), it's been like a pick-up line.
I think the girl implied that the poster was stalking her, which not considered a good thing.

[enigm4tic]

actually, it sounds like she implied he was stalking her, was I think the the point..

I was once making some joke about how I was ridiculously popular and hot, totally offhand, with one of the most sarcastic voices I could muster, and it related to the conversation at hand about popularity. Out of nowhere a girl I'd talked to maybe 3 times turns around to me and just goes off.

"You aren't that great, you think you're all that and everybody loves you, well they don't! You're not even that hot, and you aren't the most popular person here!" She actually manages to continue in this vein for almost a full 2 minute long tirade.

At this point I just look at her (she was ugly as sin and telling me all this too), and go "great!" in the most cheerful voice, and turn back around to my conversation which had stopped to stare at the spectacle.

[LiveOnAPlane]

Easy question. It was:

Go fuck a tree!

[Heffalump and Roo]

I think the girl implied that the poster was stalking her, which not considered a good thing.
Oooh. Thanks. I guess I understand. But if you're on a college campus, wouldn't it be likely to run into people often? That's like going to work every day and running into someone in the next building often and have them implying you're stalking them. So I guess I would have written that girl off as a dolt.
So I can't think of any nasty things people have said to me, but I probably wrote them off as dolts. :D

[Autolycus]

I think the girl implied that the poster was stalking her, which not considered a good thing.

While I'm not sure if it was that or a generalized sentiment of "I hate seeing you," it was definitely not flirting. All about the tone ya know.

[Queen Bruin]

"You have werewolf sideburns."

Yeah, that guy didn't last long.

[Cyn]

Driving home from work this last March, I called my husband to ask what time dinner reservations were...it's his 37th and I want to change clothes first.
Me: I'm going to look hot!
Him: I'll be the judge of that.




I didn't change.

[Beware of Doug]

Then he moved in for the kill.

"Do you like girls?"

Smooth, friend. Smooth.Maybe all he had left was Playboy?

[Martha Medea]

I posted the very worst thing once before - "god, you're ugly" said to me by a random stranger in the street. Another crusher was when a male friend told me I looked like his sister, who is about as unattractive as anyone can get.

[George Kaplin]

This reminds me of what may well be my most simultaneously embarrassing and triumphant moment since I first delved into the bar scene. I was at a local club and saw a group of about five girls, at least three of whom were very attractive. I decided to go get acquainted. Anyway, after a couple of minutes introductory banter one of them, podgy, stupid looking, with a face built for a perpetual scowl, interrupted me and said, in quite a nasty tone, "You're really geeky, aren't you?" I turned to her, looked her up and down, and replied "Nope. Nowhere near good looking enough to get away with that one. Anyway, where was I..." I didn't get any phone numbers, but I was there for another fifteen minutes and my tubby little nemesis didn't say another fucking word. Sweet :)

[Larry Mudd]

"This is just like Grey's Anatomy! We have the white dude, the hot chick, and the Asian chick!"

I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all, while my friend looks more than offended enough for the both of us. (I'm Asian, by the way. That's the only way any of this makes sense. :) )It still doesn't make sense - the hot chick on Grey's Anatomy is the Asian chick. :confused:

Me, there was the time I was up late with the girl I was currently sleeping with and her roommate - under a blanket, on the couch. Three guys dropped by unexpectedly and the girl I was currently sleeping with introduced me as her gay friend. I didn't sleep with her much after that.

[Nametag]

"You're a horrible person, and I'm ashamed that I ever had anything to do with you."

[Selkie]

Hazards of a long distance relationship:

Had been involved with a guy for five years. Told him I loved him. He never bothered to mention that he'd been using online dating services for a year looking for someone new. When he did find someone, he didn't bother to tell me directly. He forwarded an e-mail he had written to someone else about an unrelated topic that contained an oblique reference to his girlfriend who lived in a few blocks away, so he clearly wasn't talking about me. He did this the evening after I'd finally worked up the courage to discuss that my doctor had told me I only had a few months left to live, on the same night my mother had a seizure and kept asking me why I was crying (because she couldn't remember more than a few minutes at a time). I'd known this woman existed, but he'd always insisted she was a neighbor.

When I confronted him about this he said "You just need time to get used to the idea that she's in my life now." Uh, sorry, no, not into threesomes, thank you.

Although he was younger than I am, he was plenty old enough to know better. I'd cut him a lot of slack for inexperience before - apparently for too long!
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he'd previous told me that I "wasn't THAT fat." Things only got better when he embarked on a campaign of passive-aggressive comments about our relationship on mutual message boards.

Oh, and for anyone concerned: as it turned out, the rumors of my death turned out to be greatly exaggerated. Yeah for 13th opinions! :cool: It's a good thing, too. Who would take care of Fish if I died?!

[OtakuLoki]

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he'd previous told me that I "wasn't THAT fat." Things only got better when he embarked on a campaign of passive-aggressive comments about our relationship on mutual message boards.

So, should I assume that he's doing the equivalent of what Jimmy Hoffa's doing these days, and helping out with Air Traffic security? ;)

Oh, and for anyone concerned: as it turned out, the rumors of my death turned out to be greatly exaggerated. Yeah for 13th opinions! :cool: It's a good thing, too. Who would take care of Fish if I died?!


Glad to hear this. I hate chatting with ghosts on messageboards.

[Selkie]

So, should I assume that he's doing the equivalent of what Jimmy Hoffa's doing these days, and helping out with Air Traffic security? ;)


He's still around, here on the SDMB and elsewhere. I'm glad. I wouldn't have missed his inspirational post about how he changed the course of his life for anything in the world. Revisionist personal history can be a beautiful, hilarious thing with some perspective and direct knowledge of what really happened. :D


Glad to hear this. I hate chatting with ghosts on messageboards.

I'm basically a 1950's science fiction brain in a jar hooked to a computer. If I went completely ghost in the machine, few humans would notice the difference. Including me. I imagine the rats would complain. And Fish. Must not upset Fish. Guess I'll stay human.

[Santo Rugger]

"You have werewolf sideburns."

Yeah, that guy didn't last long.

Why, did you eat him? ;)







Sorry! Couldn't resist! :o

[SnakesCatLady]

Who would take care of Fish if I died?!

*shudder*

[Hostile Dialect]

The girl who gave me my first kiss and my first blowjob, and singlehandedly cured my fear of physical affection--literally, I was phobic, I would flinch when people tried to touch me unless they were very obviously hugging me or something and I could prepare myself for it--told me three years later that she didn't remember any of it.

That burned. To her credit, she felt really bad about it, and she believes me. That was a traumatic period in her life for other reasons, so I'm sure she just blocked out the whole timeframe.

The girl who took my virginity (I took hers too), when she happened to walk past some pictures of my cousins: "Wow, are those your family? They're ugly." She had a penchant for saying things that her brain had not completely processed for appropriateness yet.

I hate chatting with ghosts on messageboards.

I find it delightful this time of year. They always have the best Halloween costumes!

[Sunspace]

My friend and I were walking down a country road near Huntsville, Ontario, and we encountered two drunk girls. One of them said to me, "You sound just like Kermit the Frog."

[HMS Irruncible]

I'm not at all proud of this, but I'd like to get this off my chest... once when I was in college, having doggy-style sex with my girlfriend for the first time, for some reason I deemed it necessary to say: "hey, I think I can smell your butt". History does not record the response, but experience suggest that revenge was subsequently served cold over a series of years.

Why oh why would I say something like that? I had never had occasion to smell someone else's butt before, and I found a scientific interest in the fact that it was neither disagreeable nor agreeable, merely buttish. And of course when I was 19, every thought that popped in my head went straight out my mouth. So butt-girl, wherever you are, I'm sorry I said it, but the odor was unmistakable.

[Autolycus]

While this is not really nasty at all, it's in a similar vein. I was talking with a girl on Friday, and she said to me that she's not currently looking for a boyfriend. Fast forward to today, she just started dating somebody. (tdn, if you are reading this, you know who I mean!).

[Telperien]

While this is not really nasty at all, it's in a similar vein. I was talking with a girl on Friday, and she said to me that she's not currently looking for a boyfriend. Fast forward to today, she just started dating somebody. (tdn, if you are reading this, you know who I mean!).

Ouch, man.

[Autolycus]

Ouch, man.

Yeah, between jealously and feeling lied to, I was sick to my stomach for 5-10 minutes. It's all good now though. She didn't mean any harm, and I'm happy for my friend underneath it all.

[Nzinga, Seated]

I am going to exclude anything my husband has said to me in any of our knock down drag out arguments...those things are quite a bit meaner than most things I have read here. And I can dish it as well as take it, so it's not fair to mention.

But as far as strangers are concerned;

Once when going into a nightclub with my friends, some cute guys parked in front said, "Holloween was yesterday...you can take those gag teeth out of your mouth now." Now that was a pretty mean thing to say to a buck-toothed, gap-toothed girl, but it was genuinely funny. They somehow didn't seem too mean spirited when they said it, and my friends are the type to make a joke of everything, bar none. So they laughed with me, and it didn't really hurt my feelings any.

One time, I cut this guy off in traffic, and he pulled up next to me at the light, rolled his tinted window down and yelled at me in his thick Spanish accent, "You black bitch!"

I had never had a racial slut hurt my feelings before, but for some reason...that did. I have tried to analyze why it hurt my feelings so deeply, but I just don't know.

[Hostile Dialect]

Yeah, between jealously and feeling lied to, I was sick to my stomach for 5-10 minutes. It's all good now though. She didn't mean any harm, and I'm happy for my friend underneath it all.

Not to be a dick about it, but I wouldn't even consider it a lie if someone told me off that way--it's just a standard way to say "no", and nobody actually means it. Even though lots of people take breaks from dating, nobody would stubbornly refuse to date someone who really turned them on. Not everyone turns everyone else on, and all that.

I had never had a racial slut hurt my feelings before

What do you know about this dude's sex life? ;)

Seriously though, that kind of shit really, really bothers me. (Blatant racism, I mean; especially when it has nothing to do whatsoever with the person's actual complaint, and it really never does.) When my last landlord (who was also my roommate) decided to solve the problem of the neighbor's dogs waking us up early in the morning, by going over there and screaming "YOU FUCKING N****R!", I decided it was time to move.

[Nzinga, Seated]

Not to be a dick about it, but I wouldn't even consider it a lie if someone told me off that way--it's just a standard way to say "no", and nobody actually means it.

Agreed. Please, please feed me a line of BS, if you wanna reject me. I don't need to know the gorey details.

[bbs2k]

I won't add my own. But I will comment.

HNC: Weren't you hit on by a 12 year old?

NS: Nevermind the asshole comments, I still have a crush on yah. :)

Auto: Fuck, sorry, don't know what to say.

LiveOnAPlane: Oh... wow.

lorene: Um, no.


I apologize for missing some, or all of you. But I suck at copying and pasting.

Nevermind, I've been looking back and I can't respond to nearly as many people as I'd like to, sorry. Just trust me, that more often than not these people are insulting for the sake of being insulting.

[Caterpillar22]

About two years ago, I got into the habit of taking a two hour walk every day. I was doing really well, I was losing weight, and I was very proud of myself.

One day as I was crossing a busy street, a car full of teenage boys came by and one of them yelled, "hey fat ass!!"

It killed me. I kept walking to get away from the area because I was embarrassed, and once I got to stairway (West Seattle is full of "secret" stairways), I sat down and burst into tears. It shouldn't have bothered me, I was doing well, I was making progress...but it didn't matter, I was shattered.

A few minutes later, a woman came jogging up the stairs, and she stopped to ask me what was wrong. I was embarrassed to tell her what really happened, so I just said, "I'm just trying to lose weight and its really hard." We often crossed paths when we were out walking/jogging, so we sort of knew each other.

She said, "You look so much better than you did a few months ago, you're doing great!"

For every asshole there's a sweatheart. That's all I needed - I stopped crying and continued walking.

[Shecky]

Given out by me: "You repulse me." The girl was a stalker, and wasn't getting why I wouldn't leave the Sheckstress for some girl I had a class with 10 years earlier. Weird.

Received by me: "I can't date someone that still has Star Wars sheets on his bed." I was 15, and a huge nerd. And, to top it all off, she ended up sleeping with me about 4 years later. I made sure I had the star wars sheets back on the bed.

[Sunrazor]

Driving home from work this last March, I called my husband to ask what time dinner reservations were...it's his 37th and I want to change clothes first.
Me: I'm going to look hot!
Him: I'll be the judge of that.
I didn't change.How hard would it have been for him to say, "Babe, you always look hot." How hard would that have been?

We'd been married about two years, I was in the Army, just returned from three weeks in the field, the last 72 hours of which was constant maneuvering -- I hadn't slept in days or seen a shower in over a week. For reasons known only to her, my wife came to the barracks to meet me after stand-down and ride the bus home with me. We sat by ourselves at the back of the bus, then she promptly declared, "My God, I've never smelled anything as bad as you smell right now!" and got up and moved two seats away. Later, after I'd had a long shower and a couple of beers, she tried to convince me she'd been joking with me. I remained unconvinced for a couple of days.

[Nzinga, Seated]

NS: Nevermind the asshole comments, I still have a crush on yah. :)



Dammit. I hate that I am such a freakin' marshmallow inside that I can really take comfort and pleasure in that comment. Thanks.

[Anaamika]

The car-shouting thing makes me so mad. I've had stuff shouted at me from cars. It's so stupid and I always wish vehemently I was Carrie and could make them skid careening off the road and crash. :mad: I had someone lean all the way out of the car shouting "YOU'RE UGLY!" I hoped he fell out of the car. I can't tell you how much I hate these assholes.

The cruelest thing the opposite sex ever said is easy. This is a sort of sex story, so be aware.

One of the men whom I dated for a very very short time was a premature ejaculator. I was very young and naive and didn't know any better how to handle it, but I tried to do my best - I tried to make it seem like it was no big deal, etc.

He reacted by lying about it, claiming he'd gone soft. He told me "It's not my fault you don't turn me on enough to get an erection." In my state at that time my self-confidence was depressingly low, and he made me cry.

I'd be mad but after all, he did have his problem.

[HMS Irruncible]

I had never had a racial slut hurt my feelings before, but for some reason...that did. I have tried to analyze why it hurt my feelings so deeply, but I just don't know.
Maybe because it's an undeserved and inappropriate expression of raw hate and deprecation? Feeling hurt is a normal response to that, why overanalyze it? (unless of course you're having a hard time letting it go, or unless you feel like it really did have something to do with you as an individual, or for some weird reason you feel like you deserved it).

[Telperien]

Yeah, between jealously and feeling lied to, I was sick to my stomach for 5-10 minutes. It's all good now though. She didn't mean any harm, and I'm happy for my friend underneath it all.

Nothing you can do about that anyway, right?

But you seem like a sweet guy and will make some girl very happy one day.

[Cat Fight]

Not to be a dick about it, but I wouldn't even consider it a lie if someone told me off that way--it's just a standard way to say "no", and nobody actually means it. Even though lots of people take breaks from dating, nobody would stubbornly refuse to date someone who really turned them on. Not everyone turns everyone else on, and all that.

There are definitely people who'll date half-assed (usually those who can't bear to be alone) and those of us who aren't actively pursuing a relationship, even resistant to the idea. When we tell guys we aren't looking for a relationship, we mean it. Then, of course, we fall in love with someone, despite everything.

[Hampshire]

Two I fondly remember from my childhood:

I had a big crush on the neighborhood girl "Tracy" when I was around 8 years-old.
I usually kept it to myself but happened to tell my group of neighborhood guy friends about it (bad idea). Sure enough we're all sitting at the end of my driveway when she comes strolling by. As she passes one of the guys yells "Hey Tracy, John wants to be your boyfriend!"
She doesn't even stop walking or turn her head to acknowlege us but replies "I'd rather be dead."

Had another crush on "Shari" in the 4th grade. I was too shy to even say hi and she probably didn't even know I exsisted. I admired her from afar. I was watching her one day on the playground playing tag with some others. The kid she was chasing was heading my way and decided to use me as an obstacle to hide behind. Suddenly she's directly in front of me trying to get the kid behind me swinging to my left and right. She abrubtly stops and looks me straight in the face. I froze. I couldn't do anything but give her a big smile. She returns my smile with a frown and says "Get out of my way you big dummy!"

[Mosier]

Worst thing I've ever done is call a girl by my previous girlfriend's name. Two different times, with different girls, using the same incorrect name. I ended up getting back together with, and married to the girl whose name I incorrectly used.

Worst thing said to me was "you're pathetic" at a very obviously vulnerable time. Almost 20 years later, and I'm still upset about it.

[Malthus]

Certainly the *grossest* one I've ever heard of is the following.

Said to a female friend of mine, as a drive-by by a random male nincompoop leaning out of the passenger's side window of a passing car:

"I'd eat the pickle stuffed up your ass!"

Followed by a torrent of vomit.

[Shirley Ujest]

I'm not at all proud of this, but I'd like to get this off my chest... once when I was in college, having doggy-style sex with my girlfriend for the first time, for some reason I deemed it necessary to say: "hey, I think I can smell your butt". History does not record the response, but experience suggest that revenge was subsequently served cold over a series of years.

Why oh why would I say something like that? I had never had occasion to smell someone else's butt before, and I found a scientific interest in the fact that it was neither disagreeable nor agreeable, merely buttish. And of course when I was 19, every thought that popped in my head went straight out my mouth. So butt-girl, wherever you are, I'm sorry I said it, but the odor was unmistakable.



Somewhere in the vaults of SDMB there is a thread devoted to embarrassing things said during sex.

"Hey, I think I can smell your butt." would be an awesome t-shirt for you to wear. :D

[OneCentStamp]

Somewhere in the vaults of SDMB there is a thread devoted to embarrassing things said during sex.And all I have to say about that thread is, "Are you the sheriff?"

Still the funniest thread in the history of the SDMB.

[Dung Beetle]

A kid I didn't even know came up to me in middle school and said, "Your chest probably wouldn't be so flat if you didn't carry your books like that."

Same year: A bigger kid sat down next to me on the bus. When his friends called to him, he said, "Nah, I'm gonna sit up here with my little flat-chested girlfriend."

When I was about nineteen, my boyfriend asked me to hand him his lighter. When I did, I noticed that it had a picture of a girl in a bikini on it and teasingly said, "Oh, you think she's pretty, huh?" Without a glimmer of humor, he replied, "Well, she's better than you."

[Autolycus]

But you seem like a sweet guy and will make some girl very happy one day.

Awww thanks! That made my day. (Didn't we used to have a happy-hearts smiley?).

[Hostile Dialect]

When I was about nineteen, my boyfriend asked me to hand him his lighter. When I did, I noticed that it had a picture of a girl in a bikini on it and teasingly said, "Oh, you think she's pretty, huh?" Without a glimmer of humor, he replied, "Well, she's better than you."


:eek: :eek: :eek:

[tdn]

While this is not really nasty at all, it's in a similar vein. I was talking with a girl on Friday, and she said to me that she's not currently looking for a boyfriend. Fast forward to today, she just started dating somebody. (tdn, if you are reading this, you know who I mean!).
Wow. That sucks. Sorry.

One of the nicest things said to me by a woman, after she decided she wasn't really a "relationship person", was "You're invited to my wedding." Thanks, but no.

Dung Beetle, aren't you much happier now that you're appreciated by guys who know what real beauty is?

And lorene, the guy was not only blind, but dumb. I wonder if he was also deaf.

[tdn]

But you seem like a sweet guy and will make some girl very happy one day.
Seconded.

[Hostile Dialect]

I hear he's a mean cook, too. You know, they say he can do amazing things with a spatula. :eek: ;)

Sorry! I had to!

[Dung Beetle]

Dung Beetle, aren't you much happier now that you're appreciated by guys who know what real beauty is?


I'm happier hanging around sweethearts like you, that's for sure. :)

[D_Odds]

"You're a horrible person, and I'm ashamed that I ever had anything to do with you."I hear that one on a daily basis, usually from different people.

[tdn]

While this is not really nasty at all, it's in a similar vein. I was talking with a girl on Friday, and she said to me that she's not currently looking for a boyfriend. Fast forward to today, she just started dating somebody.
Wow. I'd forgotten. I mean, I feel bad for you and stuff, but I didn't really feel it.

There was a former coworker that I had a real thing for. When I asked her out, she said she was sort of involved with someone. I didn't know if she was telling the truth, or if she was just letting me down easy. And I figured that if I never found out, I'd be good with it. A little ignorance can be comforting.

Be sheer coincidence, I was thinking about her just now. I've totally gotten over her, I never see her or talk to her anymore, but I was just musing about what if, and thinking that some day, in some alternate universe, it could still happen. Idle musing.

Be sheer coincidence, I was in the presence of some other coworkers just now, and one asked the other if she'd heard from her. Yep, got an e-mail. She's happy going back to school, she sold the house, and she's got a new man in her life.

Wow. Unintentional sucker punch to the gut.

Now I know exactly how you feel.

[tdn]

I'm happier hanging around sweethearts like you, that's for sure. :)
:)

[Telperien]

Awww thanks! That made my day. (Didn't we used to have a happy-hearts smiley?).

You're welcome.

[Sanity Challenged]

Outside a high school dance, following a couple of weeks of what seemed like successful flirting: "You seem like a really nice guy, but, I just broke up with my last boyfriend, and the next time I go out with a guy, I want to prove that I can do better."

30 seconds after losing my virginity: "Well, you lasted longer than [best friend] did on his first try!" :o

[OneCentStamp]

I hear that one on a daily basis, usually from different people.Yeah, but do your Mom and the clerk at the Starbucks really know you well enough to form an educated opinion? ;)

[Rysdad]

I lost my billfold once. A couple of days later it appeared in my mailbox inside a brown paper bag. There was a note inside that said:

"Too bad you're not good looking or I would've returned it personally.

Karen"

Talk about ambivalent feelings...

Besides, who looks good in their driver's license photo?

Thanks, um, bitch.

[Merkwurdigliebe]

Agreed. Please, please feed me a line of BS, if you wanna reject me. I don't need to know the gorey details.
I'll third this suggestion. If I know you and you pretend like you want to see me, don't do this garbage where you don't answer your phone because you see its me, because then I don't know for sure without calling several times and then I feel like an ass. You ought to feel bad too. All it takes is a simple text or picking up of the phone to give off some lame excuse and then all parties are fine about it. We're all adults and in the adult playbook this is standard operating procedure. Give a lame excuse and hope they figure it out.

[olivesmarch4th]

I'm happier hanging around sweethearts like you, that's for sure.

Psst. Guys, you're really ruining the whole ''Dopers are arrogant apathetic assholes'' reputation we've got going! :eek: :D

[jjimm]

A friend, who I used to babysit for when she was a kid, at her 25th birthday party said to me: "When I was younger, I used to look up to you like you were what a boyfriend should be. Hahahahahahaha! How stupid is that?!"

At the time, she was young and cute, and I had recently split up with a long-term partner, and was still feeling ridiculously vulnerable because of it. I was gutted by the comment in ways she'll never know, for quite a long time afterwards.

Ten years on, however, she's now single, and something of a social leper, and I've been happily married for five years. But still, how fucking rude. (Come to think of it, it's probably comments and attitudes like that which keep her single...)

[Hostile Dialect]

"Too bad you're not good looking or I would've returned it personally.

Karen"

I actually did personally return a wallet to a pretty lady in my apartment complex once. She was at work and her roommate was home. Ms. Roomie called her to tell her what happened and apparently told her I was cute, since Ms. Grateful wanted to rush home and thank me in person. For some reason I can't comprehend, I said "no thanks" and walked out.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I was single, lonely, and slimmer and better looking than I am today. Why didn't I do it? I kicked myself all the way back to my apartment.

[Cyn]

How hard would it have been for him to say, "Babe, you always look hot." How hard would that have been?


He also tells me that my looks don't matter---he loves me for my mind.


Why does that hurt?
Although I can't really add that to this as something "Nasty", just painful...

[Count Blucher]

I was in fifth grade and trying to deal with being enrolled in a school of kids who all knew each other from birth but didn't know me. I was doing my best to just live my life and let it all run off my back when one girl just ripped into me one day.

"You act like you think you're good-looking. Is that it? Do you actually think you're Good looking...?! Who the Fuck told you that? Your mother...!?"

A charmer, that one...

[Aangelica]

Not me, but my best friend's former husband at one point in their marriage informed her quite seriously that he absolutely had to look at internet porn so that he could imagine the internet porn ladies' faces over her face when they were having sex.

This would be one of the major reasons he is her former husband.

For me personally, there was one fellow of my acquaintance who turned to me and said "Too bad you're so ugly - you'd make a great girlfriend!"

And then he was confused and hurt when I got angry with him.

[cruel butterfly]

Him: You know, you'd be perfect if I could take your head and put it on a skinny body.

Me: *stares back incredulously*

(I'm 5'3", and I weigh 110 pounds)

[don't ask]

Sorry if I am repeating what someone else said, but I got sick of reading the posts. Surely the OP realises that what was said is flirting, not any form of repulsion.

I have a similar "relationship" with a woman at work. We keep bumping into each other at lunchtime. I acussed her of stalking me and she now refers to herself in emails as "your stalker." I am pretty sure that if I were interested and if I played my cards right......

[Kythereia]

This is going to require a bit of setup:

Way way back in French class of something like second grade, we had to make up imaginary animals by putting two real ones together. A elephapuppy. A rhinotiger. A zebrafish. No, I really don't know why.

At any rate, a couple of girls got together and came up with a "pigoraffe"--some sort of bizarre, freaky cross between a very tall giraffe and a fat pink pig, the kind of hand-drawn picture Dr. Moreau would have up on his fridge.

At recess, a couple of the guys on the playground point at me: "Look! It's the pigoraffe!"

Of course it's stupid and hilarious now. But that one stayed with me for a while.

[D_Odds]

Yeah, but do your Mom and the clerk at the Starbucks really know you well enough to form an educated opinion? ;)
True. Those that do know me well enough usually aren't that nice.

[Sunrazor]

He also tells me that my looks don't matter---he loves me for my mind.
Why does that hurt?
Although I can't really add that to this as something "Nasty", just painful...Well, I long ago learned that it's bad form to bad-mouth a man's boorish behavior to his wife. I'm sure your husband loves you very much, and you him, and he has many good qualities. Charm, unfortunately, isn't one of them. He needs to learn that every woman is beautiful if you look into her eyes long enough.

[Zebra]

Well there is...

I'm moving out.

[gigi]

He also tells me that my looks don't matter---he loves me for my mind.


Why does that hurt?
Although I can't really add that to this as something "Nasty", just painful...
Of course you know him the best, but is there any chance he meant it like "I'll be the judge of that <leer>" like he couldn't wait to see ??


Besides the peson that shouted "you're fat" at me when I was out running (yeah, no shit, why do you think I'm out running?), and besides "I don't think I ever really loved you", there was:

Me, at around 12: I should wash vinegar through my hair, it gives you blonde highlights which are pretty.

My father: You already have blonde highlights and you're still not pretty.

[eleanorigby]

Ouch to all here.

There was the photographer who told me I could be a model. A plus size model. I'm a size 12. Bastard. (I know that plus sized models are usually 12s or 14s but I don't consider myself a plus size anything).



"Good job on the self tanner!" by a stranger (I have vitiligo. The stranger had mistaken my splotches for sloppy application of tanning solution). Ditto "Hey, Michael Jackson's got a chick!" (whatever that may mean).




"You were pretty." from my husband. Gee, thanks.


"there's no reason you can't lose that baby weight; you're just lazy." from my MIL, prior to my diagnosis of hypothyroidism.

As for sexual partners in particular--there's only my husband and my first real BF who told me that since I wouln't put out, that he had no choice but to break up with me-during the dinner rush at the restaurant we both worked at. I was 16. Jerk.

[Hostile Dialect]

There was the photographer who told me I could be a model. A plus size model. I'm a size 12. Bastard. (I know that plus sized models are usually 12s or 14s

I feel for you, but that sounds like a pretty standard business conversation to me, if it's true that you're within the average size range for those models.

[oft wears hats]

When I was in seventh grade, I was on one of the outer rungs of the social outcasts continuum. There was a girl in my class who was really friendly to me around the beginning of the school year. She was one of the popular kids that had a swarm of friends. I was flattered, and developed a bit of a crush on her.

A few months into the school year, she started being rather mean to me. Surprised at her behavior, I told her I thought she considered me a friend.

She replied, "I felt sorry for you."

[Darkhold]

"It was like kissing my brother" this from my second kiss partner ever.

Once I was walking home (Jr high or so) and about five girls walking the opposite direction started singing "I'm too sexy for you!" while laughing. At least they weren't pointing but it was pretty clear I 'inspired' the song.

"Well I do like you but I like Joe Smith more and I'm hoping he's going to ask me out....if not maybe you could ask me out next week?"

and the cruelest thing of all what was never said......very good looking girl who was sweet and very nice apparently had a huge crush on me for 5 freaking years never said a word to me! WTF? while I was wasting time with girls that were crazy or mean or not interested in me there was this lovely girl who was dying to be my girlfriend (and not play psycho mind games on me like the girls I did end up dating) never saying a word. I found out like this
"Remember that girl named Christine Jones?"
"Yeah she was cute. I remember when I was really little and used to play with her after church"
"Didn't she have a math class with you in Jr High and High School?"
"I think so.....yeah she sat a few rows over I recognized her and all but she never seemed interested in talking to me"
"Hahahaha that's funny she LOVED you. She spent 5 years staring at you and you never even noticed."
"Yeah hilarious. What's her number?"
"Oh I think she's married now or something"

[Cyberhwk]

Evidently she went to my school but I never recognized her name outside of our instant message conversations. We both knew each other's names but never actually knew each other. One day we had this conversation...

Me: How you doing today?
Her: Not good.
Me: Uh oh, what happened?
Her: I finally saw you today.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah. You're not attractive.

I'd have taken ugly a million times over but the way she phrased it, "You're not attractive" just stung. It was worded like an official statement of fact (if that makes any sense).

I later find out who she is. Turns out I didn't miss much. It stung, but wasn't that big of a deal, though I guess the fact that I still remember it 10 years later says something.

[Angua]

In what may have been my own cruelest move against a member of the opposite sex, I once told my now-husband, in an attempt to make him feel better about my reluctance to date him, that I found our bond profound and irreplaceable. Almost as if he were my brother...

I've had that one from a guy once he'd decided he was over his ex and didn't need me to distract him anymore: "I love you... Like a sister". :rolleyes: Seven years later, he's changed his tune and denies he ever even said that. Too late sucker, I'm happy elsewhere now. :D :p

Course there was also, in high school, around the age of 15 "Angua, your only redeeming features are fit ankles". And of course the guy who at the Freshers' Debate evening in my first year undergrad looked at me and incredulously said "They let people like you in here now?" He was slapped. Hard. With a ridged metal purse.

[Red Barchetta]

"It was like kissing my brother" this from my second kiss partner ever.


Are you Marty McFly?

[lorene]

I'm happier hanging around sweethearts like you*, that's for sure. :)

Me, too.

*and bbs2k and RobotArm

[Audrey Levins]

Are you Marty McFly?

:D

I dunno why but this made me laugh out loud.

[Malacandra]

"All men are rapists, and you needn't pretend you're some kind of saint".

Thirty seconds later I was out of that door, and I have not seen her from that day to this.

[Darkhold]

Are you Marty McFly?Sadly no. He could skateboard. And the only crazy scientist I've known liked to blow things up and cook meth in his basement.

[Beltane]

Can I play too, but with same sex?
I had a....erm... playmate when I was in high school who was closeted. He'd made it very clear that this was not open for discussion (him mom was primitive Baptist.) He would tell gay jokes in front of me to a mutual friend of ours as part of his "cover" These included such gems as "What do you call six gays on a plane waiting to land at the Atlanta Airport?" --- "Six Fags over Georgia" and others more hurtful (I just remember that one in particular.) The funny thing is that I put up with it for far too long.

[Sofaspud]

Well, I've heard my share of fat comments over the years, as have all to many others here, I'm sure. So I'll skip those and go right to the WTF ones.

I knew this girl who was smart, funny, liked hanging out with me, the whole bit. I screwed up the courage to ask her out and she said yes. Couple weeks later we're making out for the first time, and she was the one who started it. It got to beyond making out, but not quite actual sex, and she jumped up, ran to the bathroom, and threw up. Puzzled and more than a little, um, cooled off by this, I knock and ask if she's okay. She didn't answer. I can hear her talking, though. I lean over and catch part of her conversation with a friend of hers, on her cell phone. I remember it clearly, to this day.

"I got to thinking about what you and Becca and the rest would say if you knew I slept with him and it just made me sick, and he's out there waiting, and oh god what do I do now?"

What you do now, you crazy bitch, is come out and find me gone. That's what you do.

I didn't hang out with any of them after that.

The other WTF comment that's stuck in my mind is more confusing but less hurtful, somehow. Unfortunately, it's been independently repeated by others who have no connection to the first, dammit.

"You look like a rapist."

Seriously, what the fuck?

[olivesmarch4th]

"I got to thinking about what you and Becca and the rest would say if you knew I slept with him and it just made me sick, and he's out there waiting, and oh god what do I do now?"

That is reprehensible. Pretty awesome that you recognized them for the shitheads they were and got the hell out of that situation. I can't imagine my sense of identity being so wrapped up in what my friends think about who I'm fucking that I would become physically ill just at the thought of disappointing them. That is really pathetic. You're lucky you didn't actually have to sleep with that bitch.*

*''bitch'' is not a term I use lightly. Damn her to hell.

[FriarTed]

After extolling my virtues as one of the best three lays he'd ever had: "The best sex I've ever had has been with ugly chicks!"

About a minute later, when he heard me breathe and realized that I hadn't yet hung up on him: "...and you!"

I will never let him live that down. Ever.

You married him, didn't you? :D

For me- a group of us co-workers were in the break room discussing some controversial-at-the-time issue (maybe THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST when it had just come out), and a female co-worker with whom I had a respectful disagreement on this issue said "You remind me of my ex-husband!"

I kinda laughed in disbelief that she just said that, and asked "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh! I didn't mean that in a bad way!"

To which another female co-worker said to her incredulously, "No, that's always a positive thing to tell someone!"

The co-w who was defending me told me later told me "In case something comes of it, the (ex-husband) co-worker was in the bathroom crying after break, but don't worry about it. She's just that way & I was there for the whole conversation & I know you didn't do anything."

Nothing did come of it, but sheesh!

[matt_mcl]

I haven't had any abusive relationships, and the myriad people who've shot me down have tended to do so either politely or non-verbally.

I think the one comment that most hurt my self-esteem would have to be one I'd heard from a surprising number of partners. It really started to get to me after a while, to the point where one of my major criteria is that the person not respond in this way.

Basically, I'll be in bed with the person, and at some appropriate moment I'll go, "You're really hot!" And he'll say, "Thanks." Period, end of exchange.

I'm left there mentally going, "...well??!" Like when you thank someone and they don't say you're welcome; you weren't doing it to elicit the response, but the lack of it rankles.

[Telperien]

You married him, didn't you? :D



Nope, but he's a good friend to this day.

[Batsinma Belfry]

"If you gained 20 pounds you'd be cute."

Said by a friend of my future BIL, who was so morbidly obese, that he could barely walk and wore adult diapers.

[chowder]

I was about 15 or 16.

Her: "I can't go out with you anymore"
Me: "Why?"
Her: You've got hairy ears"

I should have asked her to take a look at my arse....now that's what I call hairy

[Malacandra]

I was about 15 or 16.

Her: "I can't go out with you anymore"
Me: "Why?"
Her: You've got hairy ears"

I should have asked her to take a look at my arse....now that's what I call hairy

If that was when you were 15 or 16, I dread to speculate on the state of your ears now, dude. :p

[chowder]

Well I didn't have hairy ears at that tender age and I don't have 'em now. My arse is an altogether different matter

Personally I reckon she was a lesbian

[gigi]

Personally I reckon she was a lesbian
Yeah, if she didn't want you, must be. :rolleyes: :p

[tdn]

"You look like a rapist."

Seriously, what the fuck?
olivesmarch4th addressed the first part of your post, so I'll address the second part.

Yeah. Seriously. What the fuck?

What does a rapist even look like?

What was the context in which that was said?

[plnnr]

And all I have to say about that thread is, "Are you the sheriff?"

Still the funniest thread in the history of the SDMB.

Is that a leg?

[OneCentStamp]

Well, I've heard my share of fat comments over the years, as have all to many others here, I'm sure. So I'll skip those and go right to the WTF ones.

I knew this girl who was smart, funny, liked hanging out with me, the whole bit. I screwed up the courage to ask her out and she said yes. Couple weeks later we're making out for the first time, and she was the one who started it. It got to beyond making out, but not quite actual sex, and she jumped up, ran to the bathroom, and threw up. Puzzled and more than a little, um, cooled off by this, I knock and ask if she's okay. She didn't answer. I can hear her talking, though. I lean over and catch part of her conversation with a friend of hers, on her cell phone. I remember it clearly, to this day.

"I got to thinking about what you and Becca and the rest would say if you knew I slept with him and it just made me sick, and he's out there waiting, and oh god what do I do now?"

What you do now, you crazy bitch, is come out and find me gone. That's what you do.

I didn't hang out with any of them after that.I want to rip this girl's arms out of their sockets, then use them to beat her friends' faces in. :mad:
The other WTF comment that's stuck in my mind is more confusing but less hurtful, somehow. Unfortunately, it's been independently repeated by others who have no connection to the first, dammit.

"You look like a rapist."

Seriously, what the fuck?Well, get rid of the scruffy beard and the tinted-windowed van full of rope and duct tape, and maybe people wouldn't say that about you. Geez. :rolleyes:

[Sofaspud]

olivesmarch4th addressed the first part of your post, so I'll address the second part.

Yeah. Seriously. What the fuck?

What does a rapist even look like?

What was the context in which that was said?
Which time? :rolleyes:

The first time I was told that was when I was in high school. I had just asked a girl out (a big occasion for me, as I tended to, um, not do that). She looked at me with a deer-in-the-headlights expression for a minute, then said, "I can't go out with you! You look like a rapist!"

And that was pretty much the extent of my high school dating career, right there. Luckily for me, I guess, she didn't spread the story around.

Second time was when I was going to visit a former coworker (a friend to this day) who had moved across the country and was back in town for a few days. He and I have been friends for years, but I was always clean-shaven. In the two years he'd been gone we'd stayed in touch but had never seen each other, and I'd grown a mustache and goatee. I keep it well trimmed, and a lot of people have said I look better with it. I certainly look a bit older, which was a good thing at the time (not so much, these days :)).

At any rate, he opens the door and the very first words out of his mouth: "Dude! You look like a rapist!"

He'd never heard the story about the high school incident, and as far as I know, doesn't know the girl.

The third time it happened was very similar to the first, except it was at a bar. I don't do the bar scene much, but I was there and she was hot and we'd been flirting mildly all night and I figured, what the hell? Why not. So I asked if she wanted to go out for coffee sometime (I'm smooth, lemme tell ya). She hesitated, and then her friend (who had been mostly quiet but neutral all night) piped up. "She doesn't want to go out with you. You look like a rapist."

The hot one just shrugged at me and her friend led her away to the pool tables while I stood there with a gape-mouthed blank look on my face.

So. Apparently, I look like a rapist. Yay me.

Well, get rid of the scruffy beard and the tinted-windowed van full of rope and duct tape, and maybe people wouldn't say that about you. Geez.

Y'know, in high school -- my senior year, at any rate -- I could maybe see this. I drove a beat up Dodge van, with a wood-panel interior and deep-pile blue shag carpeting -- with no seats! -- in the back. IIRC the paint scheme was faded blue with several artistic splotches of primer, with a rust trim. And yes, I had an 8-track player that worked in the damn thing, just because. It was part of the dash, with my CD player velcro'd to the dash above it. :)

So, if I'd been a senior at the time, I could've seen how the first incident might have come about. But at the time, I was a clean-cut junior who drove dad's nice Ford Taurus, not the 70's Babemobile (as my friends christened my van). And what little fuzz I managed to grow, wasn't on my face. Heh.

Next time the Doper picture thread springs to life again I'll have to see about getting all your opinions. :D

[chowder]

So 3 people have said you look like a rapist.

Hmmm, :p

[Sofaspud]

That is reprehensible. Pretty awesome that you recognized them for the shitheads they were and got the hell out of that situation. I can't imagine my sense of identity being so wrapped up in what my friends think about who I'm fucking that I would become physically ill just at the thought of disappointing them. That is really pathetic. You're lucky you didn't actually have to sleep with that bitch.*

*''bitch'' is not a term I use lightly. Damn her to hell.
Thanks.

For what it's worth, I probably took the coward's way out on that one. At the very least I should've had the guts to challenge her about it. I don't know if I could have, though. There I was, naked as a jaybird, trying to figure out what was going on -- was it the shrimp at dinner? I knew we should've gone somewhere else instead! -- and then, bam. Even though she wasn't talking to me, that's about the worst blow to the gut I've ever taken.

So, I chickened out and left. I take some small comfort in the fact that she never tried to contact me after that night, so my instincts about leaving were probably correct. I still feel like it's unfinished, though.

Just, grr. I really liked her. A lot.

[Sofaspud]

So 3 people have said you look like a rapist.

Hmmm, :p
Is it the stringy, unkempt hair, you think? Or maybe the lazy, bloodshot eyes and the maniacal laughter.

Oh, I know! I should stop waving the knife around! Dammit, I *knew* there was something I was doing wrong!

(I laugh about it, but it's still confusing. I don't think I look like a rapist...:()

[Anaamika]

Sofaspud, what on earth do you look like? We have got to see a picture now.

[Telperien]

So, I chickened out and left. I take some small comfort in the fact that she never tried to contact me after that night, so my instincts about leaving were probably correct. I still feel like it's unfinished, though.



Maybe I'm missing something, but in what way did you take the coward's way out? What could you have said to her? Nothing would have made it any better, and had you gone off on her angrily, all that would have done was justify (in her mind) rejecting you. It looks to me like you did the only reasonable thing you could have done.

[chowder]

Sofaspud, what on earth do you look like? We have got to see a picture now.
Well obviously he looks like a rapist :D

[Malacandra]

Thanks.

For what it's worth, I probably took the coward's way out on that one. At the very least I should've had the guts to challenge her about it. I don't know if I could have, though. There I was, naked as a jaybird, trying to figure out what was going on -- was it the shrimp at dinner? I knew we should've gone somewhere else instead! -- and then, bam. Even though she wasn't talking to me, that's about the worst blow to the gut I've ever taken.

So, I chickened out and left. I take some small comfort in the fact that she never tried to contact me after that night, so my instincts about leaving were probably correct. I still feel like it's unfinished, though.

Just, grr. I really liked her. A lot.

Yeah, that bites. Even so, you dodged a biiiiiig phucking bullet, IMO. And like Telperien said, it's doubtful you could have done more than justify her decision to herself.

[Cat Fight]

It looks to me like you did the only reasonable thing you could have done.

I agree. If anything, she ended up thinking you'd stood her up. Or feeling like an asshole if she clued in to the fact that you'd heard her.

[Cervaise]

Sofaspud, what on earth do you look like? We have got to see a picture now.Take your pick (http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi).

[Anaamika]

A Cervaise link. Give me a place to hide, for I know I will be frightened.

[OneCentStamp]

Take your pick (http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi).Oh, gaddammit, why did I look? Now Mr. Hairychest Swirlyface is burned back into my retinas for another day. :( :mad:

[Sean Factotum]

"You should go talk to someone. Everybody can use a little therapy." This from the girl that was near suicidal when we first started dating.

[tdn]

Take your pick (http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi).
I'll take Therapists for $200, Alex.

SofaSpud, by any chance during those three times, were you wearing a ski mask, and wielding a knife? Was your penis hanging out? Because that I could definitely see.

[tdn]

"You should go talk to someone. Everybody can use a little therapy."
Maybe you should have gone to see SofaSpud. I heard he's therapist.

Yeah, I made the same joke twice. What of it?

[Sofaspud]

Take your pick (http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi).
Oh, man, now I *have* to put a picture up. Thanks, Cervaise. (And holy crap, what's up with Grog the Cave-Rapist on that first page? Yikes!)

Ok, here's a crappy camera-phone pic of me (http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/sofa_spud/10-18-07_1314.jpg) asking the camera, "Do I look like a rapist?"

tdn: No! Well, all except maybe the penis part. It's hard to keep it tucked away, y'know.

[Sternvogel]

Her: "I can't go out with you anymore"
Me: "Why?"
Her: You've got hairy ears"

I had a contrasting problem when I was in college. A female student explained that she wouldn't consider "dating" me by saying: "You're not hairy enough." I assume she meant my legs, as she was looking in their direction and I was wearing shorts that day. The tone of her voice suggested that she was extrapolating that my insufficient lower-limb hirsuteness was echoed by relative genital-area baldness and, hence, insufficient testosterone to satisfy her needs.

[gigi]

Ok, here's a crappy camera-phone pic of me (http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/sofa_spud/10-18-07_1314.jpg) asking the camera, "Do I look like a rapist?"IMO you look like a sweetheart.

[xanthous]

Easy question. It was:

Go fuck a tree!
Are you my dad?? My mom says this was the first time she ever used the word "fuck" in her life. :p

[OneCentStamp]

Oh, man, now I *have* to put a picture up. Thanks, Cervaise. (And holy crap, what's up with Grog the Cave-Rapist on that first page? Yikes!)

Ok, here's a crappy camera-phone pic of me (http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/sofa_spud/10-18-07_1314.jpg) asking the camera, "Do I look like a rapist?"

tdn: No! Well, all except maybe the penis part. It's hard to keep it tucked away, y'know.Dude, please don't take this the wrong way, but you're thinner than I expected.

[Telperien]

IMO you look like a sweetheart.

Ditto.

[Cartooniverse]

Good. About time. Some venting. I'm going through what is a fairly amicable separation. This means that firearms are not involved, nor are Orders of Restraint.

Nasty things? This is what I've been told in the last 2 months:

1. You're a basically unhappy person.
2. You're intolerable.
3. Sure you're handsome enough but you could stand to lose a few pounds.
4. You're sort of a Silver Medal. I want The Gold Medal guy !! I want better ! Don't want to settle for someone like you again!

I've gotten more nasty from someone of the opposite sex in the last 60 days than I have in my entire life.

I tell you, it does chip away at the self-image. :(

Cartooniverse

[OneCentStamp]

Nasty things? This is what I've been told in the last 2 months:

1. You're a basically unhappy person.
2. You're intolerable.
3. Sure you're handsome enough but you could stand to lose a few pounds.
4. You're sort of a Silver Medal. I want The Gold Medal guy !! I want better ! Don't want to settle for someone like you again!Holy fucking hell, I think I'd rather take my chances with the firearms and restraining orders. :eek: :mad:

[Kythereia]

Ok, here's a crappy camera-phone pic of me (http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/sofa_spud/10-18-07_1314.jpg) asking the camera, "Do I look like a rapist?"

Are you kidding me? You look like the kind of guy I'd buy (and enjoy) a drink (with).

[Telperien]

That's a fairly amicable separation?! Ouch.

[Cartooniverse]

Holy fucking hell, I think I'd rather take my chances with the firearms and restraining orders. :eek: :mad:

Thanks. And, props to Sofaspud for walking out on that hellaciously cruel female. My god, man.

Not from my camera phone, but in the spirit of full disclosure, this is what my soon-to-be ex saw (http://k43.pbase.com/u11/jesse/upload/2564925.JabbaTheHutt.jpg) when she was looking at me and saying those things.





:D

( I can joke about it because laughter and humor is my healthiest defense mechanism. God damn she has a cruel streak in her. )

[OtakuLoki]

Cartooniverse, there's a nasty part of me that's kinda hoping she only gets to meet a lot of guys who wouldn't even place, from now on.

[olivesmarch4th]

Sofaspud, you're obviously a total sweetie, you can tell in that picture. I am beginning to think you just have the misfortune of having run into a lot of immature assholes in your lifetime. :(

Cartooniverse, I'm sorry to hear about the mean things said to you, I know you've been going through a hard time & should know I always appreciate your posts. Someone who would say those things to you is obviously a ''Silver Medal'' herself and you deserve Gold!

[Cartooniverse]

You are very kind, thank you.

To be honest, it is SO telling that those words would even fall from her lips. I've never rated or .....judged?.... any woman against any other woman I've known. Either I click with them or I do not, as though they are the only woman on the planet and the potential connection rises or fades on its own merit.

I can't decide if I want to be Wilma Rudolph or Mark Spitz.

[bbs2k]

Ok, here's a crappy camera-phone pic of me (http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/sofa_spud/10-18-07_1314.jpg) asking the camera, "Do I look like a rapist?" Just to be sure, we're just talking about raping people right?

[Anaamika]

SofaSpud, you like fine to me, and you look like someone who is fun to hug.

[Sofaspud]

Just to be sure, we're just talking about raping people right?
Well, I'm not Hal... *ducks for cover*

I assume that's what they were referring to. You'd think they'd have qualified it a bit if it wasn't, y'know, people-rape they were talking about.

"Sofaspud, you look like a zebra rapist!" Something like that. :D

gigi, olives, Anaamika, Kythereia: thanks for the kind words. These days I find it more funny than anything else, but it was (and is) a serious "WTF?" moment. I'm waiting for the next one, but of course now I'll have to make sure they're not a Doper. :)

OneCentStamp: I get that a lot, actually. But believe me, as soon as I have to cram myself into a seat on a plane, I realize that, damn, I need to lose more weight.

[Aangelica]

Well, I'm not Hal... *ducks for cover*

I assume that's what they were referring to. You'd think they'd have qualified it a bit if it wasn't, y'know, people-rape they were talking about.

"Sofaspud, you look like a zebra rapist!" Something like that. :D

gigi, olives, Anaamika, Kythereia: thanks for the kind words. These days I find it more funny than anything else, but it was (and is) a serious "WTF?" moment. I'm waiting for the next one, but of course now I'll have to make sure they're not a Doper. :)

OneCentStamp: I get that a lot, actually. But believe me, as soon as I have to cram myself into a seat on a plane, I realize that, damn, I need to lose more weight.

Actually, you look sort of like my husband. Who doesn't look like a rapist.*

I should also point out that my dad (who's most definitely sub-200 pounds at 6 feet and some change) was also bitching about having to cram himself into a seat on his plane a couple of weeks ago. If you didn't need the stupid extender belt, then using airplane seats to judge your need to loose weight is... how should I put this..... not the best possible yardstick to use :P


I'm still not totally sure what a rapist looks like, though.

[tdn]

1. You're a basically unhappy person.
2. You're intolerable.
3. Sure you're handsome enough but you could stand to lose a few pounds.
4. You're sort of a Silver Medal. I want The Gold Medal guy !! I want better ! Don't want to settle for someone like you again!
1. You can work on your happiness.
2. We can tolerate you just fine. What's your ex's problem?
3. You're handsome. Hit a gym and become fantastic.
4. Being a silver medal is pretty impressive. Good luck to your ex. If she's lucky she just might get bronze.

[Cat Fight]

I can't believe I only just thought of one.

I was waiting in line for something or other, reading a book. A regular-looking youngish guy asked me 'Is this the line for [whatever]?'
Me: 'yep.'
He stands behind me.
Him: 'I guess you want to get back to your book.'
Me: 'Kinda.'
I get back to my book.
A few seconds later...
Him: How do you like being a bitch?
I was having none of it.
Me: 'Excuse me? What exactly am I doing that's so bitchy? Reading? Not engaging in conversation with a stranger? [I thnk he called me a bitch again, maybe even a snobby bitch.] You know nothing about me or what kind of day I've had. For all you know my dog just died. For all you know I got raped last night. [Okay, I know that sounds a little extreme, but I was extremely mad and sort of not-thinking on my feet]
A few seconds later...
Him: So, were you raped?

I told a security guard and he let me wait in line. I later saw the creep with a female friend or girlfriend. It could be wishful thinking, but I'm pretty sure I approached them an told her she was hanging out with 'a real piece of work.'

This was years ago, my late teens, and it still bothers me.

[Zambini57]

I was at a funeral, for my great-aunt, and a couple of elderly ladies whom I had never met said I looked like a serial-killer that they had seen portrayed the night before on some TV show.

I do NOT look like a serial-killer.

If anything, people tell me I look like Frasier Crane's brother, Niles.

:rolleyes:

[Robot Arm]

Not exactly nasty, but...

"Could you get a third ticket so I can bring this guy I'm seeing?"

[Missy2U]

Cartooniverse, she's a Bitch. Just so's ya know, I have SEEN pictures of you in the doper picture thread - unattractive is definitely something you are SO NOT. I do know what you mean though - the self esteem definitely takes a nose dive when surrounded by negativity like that. I'm having some problems in that area myself right now. So here's a hug. {{{Toon}}} Know you aren't alone. And that I think you're hot. :D

[Sitnam]

Throughout the years the only reason this stuck out was because she was so deadpan serious:

"Are you mentally challenged?"

[tdn]

I'm still not totally sure what a rapist looks like, though.
I think I've figured it out. Rapists have van dykes. Child molesters have mustaches.

We just had an office party, and one coworker told me that another coworker looks like a child molester. It must be his age combined with his mustache. I guess if he were younger he'd merely look like a 70s porn star.

Five years in this office, and I've never heard one coworker say anything nasty to another. Not to their face. But behind their back? I'm just now finding out the true character of some of these people.

[you with the face]

This is what my ex boyfriend said, in jest.

"If you and John Kerry had a baby it would like the guy from the movie Mask."

Made me laugh like hell when he said it, but that's a mean thing to say to a girlfriend, you know?

[pizzabrat]

I think the one comment that most hurt my self-esteem would have to be one I'd heard from a surprising number of partners. It really started to get to me after a while, to the point where one of my major criteria is that the person not respond in this way.

Basically, I'll be in bed with the person, and at some appropriate moment I'll go, "You're really hot!" And he'll say, "Thanks." Period, end of exchange.

I'm left there mentally going, "...well??!" Like when you thank someone and they don't say you're welcome; you weren't doing it to elicit the response, but the lack of it rankles.That's not surprising, what are they supposed to say? Return the compliment? I get put in that situation all the time, and respond the same way, because I think that "thanks, you too" would sound forced.

[Cyberhwk]

Not exactly nasty, but...

"Could you get a third ticket so I can bring this guy I'm seeing?"Yeah. I've found the MOST hurtful things are usually those in which no malice was intended. Even worse in situations where the person really didn't even do anything wrong.

"I got to thinking about what you and Becca and the rest would say if you knew I slept with him and it just made me sick, and he's out there waiting, and oh god what do I do now?"<Austin Powers>Ouch...very ouch.</Austin Powers> :(

To put aside your own issues and insecurities to work up the courage to ask someone out just to have them use your own issues and insecurities as an excuse to avoid you. It'd take me a while to drink that one away.