Help me select a new bumper sticker

[Genghis Bob]

The bumper sticker on my car is nearing the end of its useful life. In a little more than a year, I'll have to remove it, and I expect I'll find an unfaded rectangular patch of bumper that needs covering.

Which means I need a new car. Or a new bumper sticker. As I'm really quite fond of the car, I've opted for the latter.

Anyway, the sticker I'll be replacing is this: "Don't blame me / I voted for Kerry".

I must say, I've really enjoyed tooling around with that message on the back of my little Mini Cooper. I've met some really nice people, gotten more thumbs than middle fingers flashed my way, and in general had a wonderful time being a bumper curmudgeon.

You can see that "Visit Seashell City" ain't gonna cut it. (Anyway, I've been to Seashell City and, nice as it was, it couldn't help but disappoint. "Man-eating clam"? My eye. That thing couldn't have swallowed a four-year-old, even if it did have teeth. Which it didn't, being a clam and all. I've never been so disappointed since that episode of Batman where the giant clam ate Robin. Even to six-year-old me, it was obvious the damned thing had no way of actually getting Robin into its maw. And then all Batman had to do was to stand up and pry its mouth open. If standing up was all that easy, why didn't Robin do so in the first place, and spare them all that effort? Talk about cheesy plotting)

But I digress. I'd really appreciate any suggestions for a suitable, universal-in-nature, and if possible non-time-bound replacement for my admittedly passive-aggressive bumber screed. I'm looking for timeless, revelatory truth here, but I'll satisfy for pithy and clever in a pinch.

And no clams. Please.

[RedRosesForMe]

One of my favorite bumper stickers is the one that says "Coexist" with Muslim, Christian, and Jewish symbols replacing some of the letters. You can see an example here (http://donnellycolt.com/catalog/comgensticker.html) (about 3/4 of the way down). The site I linked is a family-run sticker/button/t-shirt company. They were a vendor I worked with very closely at my last job, and they're super-nice people. They're very left-wing, but you can probably find some fun political bumper stickers on there (I also like "If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?")

[twickster]

"Ignore Alien Orders."

[KlondikeGeoff]

My favorite is "Help stamp out mental health."

[OttoDaFe]

Focus on your Own Damn Family (http://www.cafepress.com/angryleft.12949376) (or without the profanity (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/browse/store/turn_left.28253405), if you're so inclined).

[Queen Tonya]

Stamp and Shout (http://www.stampandshout.com/) has a lot of fun choices. They've got a version of the Coexist one, as well as tons of political stuff.

[KneadToKnow]

Keep Honking,
I'm Reloading

[fisha]

Tedious Wanker

[FairyChatMom]

I saw one last week that I just loved:

Heisenberg may have been here.

[Genghis Bob]

Tedious Wanker

Is that a bumper sticker suggestion, or a commentary on the OP?

[fisha]

No, no, no you're fine Bob. Really. Don't think twice about it.

[scr4]

My SO said she recently saw one that said: God Bless the Rest of the World Too.

I like that too, even though I'm a staunch atheist.

[smithsb]

I favor "The Onion" sticker. "JESUS IS MY CAR INSURANCE"

[cookeze]

I've never had a bumper sticker. Do the shops print them out for you special?

I want one that says: "NUCLEAR WINTER: THE CURE FOR GLOBAL WARMING"

[Jeep's Phoenix]

I love this one (http://www.stampandshout.com/shop/bumper-stickers/prevent-theocracy.php).

[Centurion]

I drive an old SUV with a very flat back window. It is perfect for stickers of all kinds oval, circle, rectangle, square you name it. Instead of portraying a political or environmental message I have band stickers that are cleverly placed around the spare tire on my car. I took my favorite bands from my itunes and then tried to locate stickers for them on ebay or through google. Some bands have very interesting stickers that someone actually put time into. I really prefer more mysterious stickers than straight up messages. To get free band stickers you might try local independent music stores that also have promotional band posters and stickers that you can take. There is one such store near where I live that I take advantage of, maybe too much.

[NurseCarmen]

From my collection: Cite!? (http://www.cafepress.com/sickslug_12.24943409)

[Typo Knig]

The ultimate
political (http://members.tripod.com/~paleoartisans/RG_Bumpersticker.html) bumper stucker? :D

[DanBlather]

I made one for myself: "Coulter Is a C-Word"

[Sequent]

Impeachment: It's not just for blowjobs anymore

[Bayard]

I saw one similar to the "Coexist" sticker, except that the word it spelled was "Toxic". A little confrontational for my taste, but if you want to up your middle-fingers-to-thumbs ratio, you could go for it.

[gotpasswords]

It's A Car
Not A Phone Booth

[BwanaBob]

Don't Like My Driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT

[Ender_Will]

I was going to vote for the Coexist one, but as that's been said, this (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.northernsun.com/images/thumb/5308.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.northernsun.com/n/s/5308.html&h=288&w=288&sz=9&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=4hRpG0XsrgFh4M:&tbnh=115&tbnw=115&prev=/images%3Fq%3Deschew%2Bobfuscation%26gbv%3D2%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DG) will have to do.

[Fear Itself]

Anyway, the sticker I'll be replacing is this: "Don't blame me / I voted for Kerry".Then this is the obvious replacement:

I Miss Bill

[chela]

It's A Car
Not A Phone Booth
IOW "Hang up and drive the car" its on my Beetle and seems to piss some people off.

On my other car is "In support of conscious evolution" I bought it at the yoga studio and "conscious evolution" is a Donna the Buffalo song.

[gigi]

I've never had a bumper sticker. Do the shops print them out for you special?

I want one that says: "NUCLEAR WINTER: THE CURE FOR GLOBAL WARMING"
Cafepress.com lets you customize (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/customize/product.aspx?clear=true&no=90) a bumper sticker. Just don't include a misspelling like in the example.

[cookeze]

Cafepress.com lets you customize (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/customize/product.aspx?clear=true&no=90) a bumper sticker. Just don't include a misspelling like in the example.


Thanks!

[Shirley Ujest]

Tedious Wanker



This one has my vote!!!



:)


I've always been partial to " Just pretend it's all ok" ribbon magnets.

[Shirley Ujest]

Oooooh, I likey this (http://www.stampandshout.com/shop/bumper-stickers/jesus-had-two-daddies.php) one.

[Shirley Ujest]

Hot off the presses (http://www.stampandshout.com/shop/bumper-stickers/republicans-really-care.php)

[Genghis Bob]

Just popping in to say thanks for all the suggestions. I like the "Coexist" one, but of late I've noticed a curmudgeonly turn to my discourse, so perhaps I'll go with "Coexist, f@ckers".

It's nice to know Cafe Press will do a custom sticker. I'm going to enjoy myself for the next year trying to come up with something pithy and original. And timeless. And universal. And that'll change hearts and minds at first glance.

"Coexist, f@ckers".

[WhyNot]

I've always been partial to " Just pretend it's all ok" ribbon magnets.
I saw a magnetic yellow ribbon once which said: "Support the Magnetic Ribbon Industry" and I chose not to get it. As I haven't seen it since, I'm kicking myself.

BTW: the white on blue COEXIST sticker is designed and printed by crazy Dr. Bronner's (ALL-ONE!) family, of the Bronner's Magic Soap fame. At least, their name is in teeny tiny type on one edge.

[sqweels]

SUPPORT THE TRUTH

I came up with the idea myself, but my guess that it was already available as a bumper sticker proved correct:
http://www.cafepress.com/bobofester

[Swampwolf]

I want to make one that says (as a takeoff on the "Life. What a Beautiful Choice" bumperstickers)
"Choice. What a beautiful life."

or perhaps

"You can't be Pro-Choice without Choice."

I know, it's a theme. What the hell.

[Gatopescado]

"Why does everyone say 'It could be worse' when we all know it could be better?"

OR

"Hang up the GODDAMN phone!"

[Charger]

"The weight of this sticker may cause bumper to fall. Drive accordingly."

[11811]

My recent favorite sighting, on a bicycle, said

My other ride is your mom

[Kilvert's Pagan]

Ever been on the Betty Bowers site? (http://www.cafepress.com/bettybowers/52353) It's part of CafePress and makes for some fun reading. A little confrontational, but that's OK.

FWIW, my own personal favorite, as a child of the 70's was always "I brake for hallucinations".

[Shoeless]

I saw one the other day that made me giggle:

"Jesus is coming. Look busy!"

[B. Serum]

"Honk if you have poor impulse control!" (http://store.theonion.com/honk-if-you-have-poor-impulse-control-p-134.html)

[RedRosesForMe]

I saw one the other day that made me giggle:

"Jesus is coming. Look busy!"

That reminds me of another sticker I saw recently-

I Found Jesus

(He was behind the couch the whole time)

:D

[glee]

Don't read this, watch the road!

My other car's a Bugatti Veyron :cool:

Would you like to see your message here?

Help! I'm stuck to this bumper...

[Bakkup Jenna Rater]

Honk if you're deaf like me.

[Lemur866]

"Bumper stickers are not the answer!"

[fisha]

Jesus loves you.

Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

[BarnOwl]

Jesus loves you. [On the left]

Everyone else thinks you're an asshole [On the right]


Hilarious!!!

I'd love to put these two on my rear bumper, but we'd have to use my wife's car to go to church!