All Hail Queen Tatertot.

[yojimbo]

We all love her. She constantly cracks me up with her bubbley personality. She's a bit of a babe to boot.

I say that she should be Queen of MPSIMS for the day. So all you anti-royalists forget about your politics and fall on your knees and Hail the real Queen of Hearts.

So what say ya all. Not that it matters as she and I have already made the decision ;)

[tatertot]

Although I am concerned about just being a "bit" of a babe...dangit, I knew I should have showed more skin in Dublin.

Now all I need is a King...any takers?

[TwistofFate]

Yup! If anyone diserves to be a queen for a day, its her!!

All Hail Queen Tatertot! Klaatu Barada Nikto!

[Spiny Norman]

<Spiny enters, kneels>

All Hail Queen Tatertot. May her reign be long & prosperous!

Tater - ehm, your Majesty - you don't want a king, really. What you're looking for is a Prince Consort - one who'll take your orders and walk three steps behind your left heel at official events. Judging by the examples I've seen, an amusing accent is also part of the job requirements. Too bad you let your bitch get away...

Of course, if ou were to throw in a knighthood or suchlike, perhaps one of your loyal subjects might step in.

<rises & leaves, walking backwards as the protocol demands, although somewhat faster than normal>

[Coldfire]

*enter the Dutch Prince*

Hail thee, Oh Queen Tot of Tater!
Ahem... how YOU doin', babe? Now, show us some skin, dammit. I normally only bow to Queen Beatrix, so this better be good :p

[TwistofFate]

Originally posted by Coldfire
I normally only bow to Queen Beatrix, so this better be good :p

When I read this, I had to double check to make sure it didn't say Dominatrix........ ;)

[tatertot]

Oooh, Prince Consort, that's a fab idea Snormy. I'm a woman of the 00s, no need to share my power with anybody. In gratitude, I'm going to make you Duke of IMHO. :D

Coldy - come meet me and Snormy in Hamburg on the 18th and I'll show you some skin, baby. Remember how much I drank at Yoji's, just give me one more than that and I'll be belly dancing on the tables.

Cubby, you don't want to know what he does for his Dominatrix. <shiver> It's worse than anything you'll see on ConsumptionJunction, that's for sure! ;)

[Spiny Norman]

Great, just great, Coldfire! - Now I'm fighting off a mental image of HM Queen Beatrix "showing skin"...

[yojimbo]

Remember how much I drank at Yoji's, just give me one more than that and I'll be belly dancing on the tables.


Shit. Now you tell me.

[Trion]

:: enters bowing ::

Greeting Queen Tater. I bring you riches and bounty from across the sea. First of all I have ...

:: digs into shopping bag ::

... this box of Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries. Next, a Slim Jim. Finally, this assortment of various potato chip types which the natives refer to as a "Valu Pak".

:: end with grand flourish and fanfare ::

[tatertot]

Mmmmm, NumNums, Trion truly knows the way straight to my heart! I'm going to appoint him Lord of the Pantry.

And it occurs to me that I'll be needing a few Princesses and Ladies in Waiting and assorted things to round out my court. Any nominees?

[Globe-trotter]

Yo queen! Whatcha got for me? It'd better be good, otherwise I'll turn anti-royalist on you real quick. :D

[Coldfire]

WE HAVE FOUND A REPUBLICAN! MAY WE BURN HER, OH MAJESTY??

[tatertot]

Globie Girl, you will be now known as The Princess Royal Globe-Trotter, and are my heir apparent, unless I find somebody to breed with.

Yojimbo, will be Lord High Confidant, and will advise me on matters of State as well as help me pick out my clothes in the morning. Woo Hoo! Bet he wishes he hadn't got ICQ now.

Coldfire will be the Royal Treasurer and will levy taxes and fees as he sees fit to enlarge the Royal Coffers.

Snorman has already been declared Duke of IMHO and will provide me with opinions if ever I should lack my own.

Twisty will be Lord of the Dance and is required to wear poofy shirts at all times.

Now all we need is some nice Royal Intrigue...

[tatertot]

Somehow, Coldy, I think her tune will change now that she's Princess Royal of the Realm. :D If not, lock her in the tower and withhold her flicka flicka til she repents.

[Globe-trotter]

Coldie, you're such a suck up. Don't forget I'm the Princess Royal. Go back to taxing poor people to death now. :p

[Coldfire]

I hereby declare a new tax: the Flicka Flicka Tax. For every time a woman uses the Flicka Flicka, she shall donate 20 Florins to the State Treasury - otherwise known as His Magistrate Coldfire.

Should a man dare to use the Flicka Flicka, he shall donate 40 Florins to the State Treasury. Also, he shall donate his testicels to the Royal Surgeon - yet to be appointed by her Majesty, Tot of Tater I.

[Pergau]

Queenie Queenie Queenie

Can I have a Peerage please - I've always wanted to be Lord Pergau of Dublin.

Your most humble and obedient servant.

Pergau (commoner)

[Globe-trotter]

Yo Royal Treasurer! How do you propose to enforce the flicka flicka tax? Do you think women are willingly going to tell you they've used it? :D

[tatertot]

Good for you, Coldy! Should we also levy a Spankie (http://www.terriblyhappy.com/journal-11-02-00.html) Tax, or do you think the commoners would rebel?

Ooh, and it's been brought to my attention that I forgot all about my life partner when making these appointments. I therefore declare my beloved Canadian Sue to be Official Mistress of Her Majesty, Queen tatertot. And no, we will not be needing to pay the flicka flicka tax. ;)

And, yes, Pergau you may be Lord of Dublin. In return, you must supply beer and fine whiskeys to all official party occasions.

[Coldfire]

Globie: FlickaCams will be installed on all FlickaFlicka's, and they will be monitored at all times by the Royal Treasurer, who may or may not be wearing pants whilst fulfilling this duty.

No Spankie Tax so far - but next year looks like a tight budget, so who knows? I'd sooner implement a Spankie Tax than a Guinness Tax :D

[Globe-trotter]

You know, if I weren't a royal, I would definitely start a revolution because of the FlickaCams.

However, we all know there are two sets of rules : one for the commoners and one for the royals! :D

[tatertot]

FlickaCams will be installed on all FlickaFlicka's, and they will be monitored at all times by the Royal Treasurer, who may or may not be wearing pants whilst fulfilling this duty

Note to QueenSelf: Buy the Royal Treasurer not one, but two Spankies for Christmas this year. He'll be needing a spare, methinks.

[Duke]

Coldfire, surely your "Troll Tax" will bring in enough florins to make the "flicka flicka tax" unnecessary.

tatertot, enjoy being SDMB Queen! Maybe HM Liz will throw a reception over here in your honour. Don't worry about dressing up--hey, don't even bother! The less the merrier!

[Coldfire]

Your Highness, may I suggest the economical Three-Pack (http://store3.yimg.com/I/spankie_1606_534021)?

Troll Tax, eh? Good idea ;)

[tatertot]

You know, Coldy, with all this talk of Spankies, I think we're going to have a hard time finding a Royal Launderer/ess.

And Liz, puh-leez, I want a reception with a real Queen. Hey, maybe we could invite Matt McL or Esprix!
And I hearby declare Duke the Royal Party Planner.

[CanadianSue]

I am most honoured yer highest.. errr highness.. and a good morning flicka flicka to you ;)

[tatertot]

Nothing like flicka flicka in the morning to get a girl going! ;)

[Girlbysea]

I can truly say that she's my buddy. Love ya Tater. Give the family a hug from the Girlby the sea. Tell MOM to keep those prayers coming...

[Trion]

Lord of the Pantry here (I like the sound of that). I need to report that if the Royal Treasurer and Lord of the Dance don't stay out of my kegs, we'll have to serve Coors for the reception.

Now I can solve this problem if you'll just approve my new Guinness Budget (including my customary 10%).

;)

[tatertot]

Ahem, I'm more worried about Lord of the Dance drinking all the vodka and coke and Lord of the Treasury drinking all the Murphys. Sure you haven't been tapping into the Guinness yourself, Lo'Pantry? ;)

GBS! You can be my faithful head Lady in Waiting. I'll tell you all my secrets and we can ogle the footmen together. Just don't tell the Official Royal Mistress...she gets jealous.

[CanadianSue]

Hey!! I want to ogle the men too!! So make room ladies.. and I use that term very loosely ;)

[tatertot]

By official decree, the Queen orders all the cute & sexy men of the Queendom to report to the Royal Ballroom to be ogled.

And ORM Sue, I'm disappointed, I thought what we had was special...hmmmm...who knew that women could be as low down and unfaithful as men?

[CanadianSue]

You are the only flicka flicka woman for me queenie.. but ogling is a must for a happy and healthy diet.

[Esprix]

Originally posted by tatertot

And Liz, puh-leez, I want a reception with a real Queen. Hey, maybe we could invite Matt McL or Esprix!

Well, at least she knows fellow royalty when she sees it. <sniff>

The peasants may not be revolting (although they do smell terribly), methinks I ought to start my own monarchy...

Esprix

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Trion
Now I can solve this problem if you'll just approve my new Guinness Budget (including my customary 10%).

There ya go, signed, sealed, delivered! It's a killer contract though. In order to maintain our budget balance, we're gonna have to sell ALL FlickaFlickas to Uzbekistan.

Hand 'em over, ladies.

[tatertot]

Awwww, Coldy, can't we have a Royal Bakesale or something'? Don't ask the good ladies of MPSIMS to give up their Flicka Flickas!

Heh, or I could auction off Cubby again, that ought to be good for a dozen or so pints.

And Esprix, don't run off! I'll give you a title, just give me some time to think. Any suggestions?

[TwistofFate]

fiddledy fiddley diddildy de!
I am the lord Of the dance! F**k Michael Flatley it's me!

I think Yoji should be the president of the dance though....

[tatertot]

Shut up and dance Cubby! I'm this close to auctioning you off to buy more beer, so you'd better keep on yer toes.

And I think Yoji does well as Lord High Confidant. He's my buddy and I wuv him. :D

[Girlbysea]

I am truly honored MISS TATER, oopps, we're not in the south... Oh well, I'll do my best. Can we start with the secrets!! ;) Now come here MISSY, and lets get started.. DAMN! I keep forgetting, we're not in the south...

[tatertot]

Listen up y'all, I hearby declare Southern to be the Official Language of the Realm.

Now Sugar, if you just step into the Royal Chamber, I'll tell you all the dish...

[Coldfire]

Yer Hiiii-niss, purmishun to break out de banjows please?

[Diane]

I want to be Her Majesty's Royal Whipper, if only I could find a Whipping Boy. . . .

[TwistofFate]

grits and cats heads for all!

[Rasa]

Hee hee, I'm willing to give up my mug that says "Princess of Quite a Lot" to tatertot for the day! My mom has one that says "The Queen of Everything" so I got to be "Princess of Quite a Lot", and am willing to share my crown. ;)

And though I don't know you tater, Diane (I think?) had a thread title that made me laugh every time I saw it: the one that said "Tator: HEP ME HEP ME!" I could just hear this little kid voice in my head saying "HEP ME HEP ME!"

[tatertot]

Diane will be Keeper of The Whip as well as Royal Executioner.

Rasa can be one of the assorted Princesses we keep in court.

And Coldy bring on the banjos! We'll have us a good 'ol fashioned Hoe-Down! Whatever one of those are, not sure but with enough Guinness anything is fun! :D

[Duke]

I, the Royal Party Planner, have returned! We've got the marquees, the red carpet and the solid gold throne ready for you, Your Royal Highness. I have a direct line to Dublin set up for a never-ending Guinness supply. Fidel told me that the cigars I got were from his special collection. We've also filled up a few glass tanks full of Bombay Sapphire gin, Bacardi 151 and Everclear. We've also got Beer brand beer for the hoi polloi. For entertainment, hey, we got the works. Terry Jones of Monty Python sent me a letter the other day and he says he's going to put on a reunion show for us. (Note: one-half of the last sentence is true.) There's enough food for everyone, and enough "Dutch import" to make sure we have the appetite for it. We also have, ahem, a "special edition" flicka flicka.

Oh, BTW, that better be one hell of a bake sale....

[tatertot]

I made Space Cakes! Think those will sell? ;)

[Spiny Norman]

Oh, and we'll need some nacho chips with White Trash dip (yummy!)...

Ahem - I obviously mean: Greetings & felicitations from your most humble servant, your Majesty.

Say, those Royal robes are quite becoming - and what a novel place to wear crown jewels. I actually arrived with plans of trying to get commissioned as Commanding Officer of the Royal Guards, but with all this ogling going on, I'm having second thoughts. God only knows what sort of uniforms (or lack thereof) we'd end up wearing.

My, an Irish Folk dancer being accompanied by a Dutchamn playing the banjo - that's a rare sight indeed. If I might add a personal observation, perhaps not quite rare enough. Couldn't we ship them off to the colonies (I presume the kingdom DOES have colonies) or something ? Never mind, I'll just circulate and start intriguing & plotting, as becomes a member of a proper court.

<bows, exits backwards, tripping a footman>

[yojimbo]

Lord High Confidant enters the court.

:: Wonders how to use his powers ::

M'lady it is my measured opinion that the FlickaCams are a valuable resource and should be installed with haste.

Oh and those shoes just don't go with that top.

Now I have to go of and suck up to the Royal Treasurer.

[Serendipity]

Oh, gracious and glorious Queen Tatertot! Are you in need of more ladies-in-waiting? One hardly makes for a good entourage. Let me assure you, I am an expert ogler and can curtsey with the best of them. ;)