Canada, What the fuck?

[Occam]

OK...here's the deal.
Canada, what the fuck? Alright, yeah we've tried taking it before, but that was in 1812, I say we give it another go! I know your saying, "Occam, what the hell do we want with Canada...then we'd have to deal with Canadians!" Yeah, but there arn't many of them and they are the 2nd largest nation on Earth. All that land! All those trees! Christ, with a handfull of Minnesota NRA members we could raid Thunder Bay, split their lines of communication, Vancouver would fall in a heart beat. And the Toronto/Montreal area would only take a month or so, maybe less. We'could kick the Quebecers out, they want their own country and no one wants them. We'd have a vast expanse. The 'Canadian Territory' would be exploited and we'd run the indians out before we finally give it Statehood...COMMON HOW'S WITH ME!!!!

[Monty]

Sorry, folks; I tried three different translation sites and not a one of them recognized the language above. You're on your own.

[Konrad]

If you leave us alone we'll allow you to annex Saskatchewan.

Or one of those other provinces no one cares about...

[Occam]

Yeah, I don't think anyone cares about ALL of Canada.

[Melatonin]

(showing off)

. . .The British Always Spend Money On the Queen, except Prince Edward, 'cos he's in NewFoundland, drat, how does that go. . .

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"There is nothing you ought to do, for the simple reason that you know nothing, nothing whatever- make a mental note of that, if you please."
-V. Nabokov

[WallyM7]

Come and get us, wise guy. We kicked your ass before and we can do it again.
We flooded your country with Celine Dion crap and you took it. Pussies. You don't even know how to print nice money, and you want to take us on?
Our beer is better, our hockey players are better, and we even beat you at you own game and won the World Series. Twice!

And oh, yeah. We got Cuban cigars. What did your Prez use on Monica? Domestic!

If you even dream of invading us, you better wake up and apologize.

You can have Quebec for nothing, though.

[ExTank]

Trying to throw out your rubbish in a cost-effective manner there, Wally? No deal.

If we're stuck with NAFTA, you're stuck with Quebec. Deal with it.

But by all means, send us your beer and cigars!

<FONT COLOR="GREEN">ExTank</FONT>
<FONT COLOR="BLUE">"I'll see your Quebec, and raise you a Lewinski."</FONT>

[tomndebb]

Occam? This is the BBQ Pit. Your post was mundane and pointless stuff (even if you had to share it). We've already had three or four long Topics/threads in which Yanks and Canucks beat each over the head with pigs' bladders. I think you should have simply re-opened one of those.

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Tom~

[Occam]

tomndebb-Well you fucked-faced-inbreeding-ankle-chewing-cock-sucker, I didn't see it until I scrolled down. There, how was that?

[Mullinator]

Not overly surprised by Occam's profile including the occupation of student. Not a bad idea on something to post, but it has been done and it only takes a little time to search for it so you don't make an idiot of yourself. Unfortunately, if your posts keep up at this rate, the topic will have no bearing on the lunacy you show.
Start an expedition to Canada on your own. Let us know when you have succeeded in winning it for us.

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I got a lot of energy ready to be wasted on somebody - Mookie Wilson

[tomndebb]

Occam:There, how was that?

A bit lame, but not bad for a child.

You got off to a good start with the alliteration of "fucked" and "faced", but lost a little speed because most people would have simply said "fuck faced" and the average reader would have probably revisited the phrase to see whether you meant something specific by adding "ed" to the "fuck."
Having lost some momentum on the first phrase, you definitely bogged down in the middle with the exteded syllables of "inbreeding" and "ankle-chewing." Nothing wrong with the epithets, themselves, but they don't carry the punch you need to keep an all-hyphenated phrase going.
"Cock-sucker" would have been OK (a bit plebian, but serviceable), but by that time you had lost so much momentum that it simply looked like a tag-on to add length to your epithet.

The unapology of claiming that you had not seen the other anti-Canada threads until later does not win you any points, either, I'm afraid. We like our posters clued, not clueless, and we prize highly the courtesy of new flamers (you are a flamer, right?) to lurk long enough to know what is actually on the SDMB.

Overall, it wasn't a horrible performance, but you'll need to work on your awareness while polishing your command of English.

I'd give it a C+.

(Now, if you'd move South across the river, you could, at least, claim to be a Superior type of person, but for now we will simply call you the uncouth Duluth youth.)

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Tom~

[Donj]

If an attack is launched against Canada, it is good to see that the US school systems are pumping out such intellectuals as Occam to lead the attack. Im sure Occam's troops would be happy to be led into battle by a person with a grade 2 education.


--Donj

[CATwoman]

Hey, I remember South Park: The Movie! Those damn Canadians are the root of all our trouble!

CATwoman

[Sam Stone]

Hell, I'll even throw in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Then the U.S. can pay them to not fish for 8 months of the year.

[ChiefScott]

Sez tomndebb: "Cock-sucker" --(a bit plebian, but serviceable)

Heh-heh. Heh-heh.

[kellibelli]

Hey, hey, HEY HEY!

I am from new brunswick, and I damn well resent that! The majority of New Brunswickers work ALL FUCKING YEAR thank you very much! And we dont approve of the welfare sucking fishermen anymore than you, so THATS why they have been recieving less and less benefits over the off seasons...

Oh and while I am ranting...they DO work more than 4 months a year...not quite as many months as teachers-they work 10 months a year, and some of them (the low grades) work a 5 or 6 hour day! But maybe they dont have teachers in edmonton! After all...teachers get paid in the summer/off season dont they?

Go ahead and trade New Brunswick little piggy, and when the big bad wolf blows down your house of prarie sod...dont come crying to us for lumber....(mutters) cant have the lobsters either!

[Sam Stone]

Kelli, relax! I was making a joke. Or let's change it to Newfoundland or Nova Scotia, then we can both scoff at them.

[gypsy]

Heheheheeee Sure, try it....anytime, especially in winter...and yes you can have Quebec! Or we could make an even trade, Quebec for Minnesota. Any takers?

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Unforgiven

[CanadianSue]

wooohooo Canada.. land of the free

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

[kellibelli]

*shaking head*

dhanson...think ahead man!
We need Newfoundland as a future penal colony.

;)

[Sealemon88]

Quote:wooohooo Canada.. land of the free

Noooo, The United States is the land of the free, home of the brave.

Canader is the land of the beer, home of the block starters. Geesh, get it right.

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[CanadianSue]

Block starters?? would that be the big ass cord sticking out of the front of the car?? mmmmmmm Beer..well we have real beer lol so i cant argue with you there...but but ... land of the free.. well thats definitely us up in the snow!!! and oh yeah mon-dude..we have health coverage..whats that you ask? i think ive explained this one to you before...

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

[WallyM7]

You go, girl!

NO PRISONERS!

[TVeblen]

Am I the only one who remembers Martin Mull's 3-part TV classic, "The Canadian Conspiracy"? It was splendid. All those rational, civic minded Canadians, some of them beloved icons like Lorne Greene and Leslie Nielson, trying to look innocent of blatant infiltration of US culture...

(Okay, no cheap shots about using US and culture in the same sentence!)

Though this does bring to mind...am I very sheltered, or is Canada the only major power that doesn't have an insulting name for its citizens? Think of all the really awful, nonPC slurs that get tagged onto nationalities. IS there even one for Canadians? (Canucks isn't really a contender.)

Anyway, Canadians, your way of life and *excellent* lobster are safe. It's a good bet Occam would get lost somewhere around Detroit anyway.

Moosehead,
Veb

[WallyM7]

I saw "The Canadian Conspiracy", Veb. Loved it.

You're right. No one has tagged us with an offensive nickname yet. I think it's because we're perceived as harmless and boring. And we are.

I'm told that some Americans stick a Canadian flag on their luggage when they travel abroad. They claim they get treated better.

And what fault can you find in a country that brews Moosehead beer?

[TVeblen]

Whoops, forgot to mention the lack of insulting nicknames for Candadians came from Canadians.

We were sitting around a fire near the beach in New Brunswick (Moncton, to be exact), licking lobster flecks off our elbows and solving the problems of the world.

Uh, we were washing the lobster down with a modest...okay, immodest...quantity of beer and wine.

Anyway, purely in the spirit of enlightened inquiry....

Veb

[Sealemon88]

Quote: Block starters?? would that be the big ass cord sticking out of the front of the car??

Block starter, block heater, block head, whatever. All I know is that it's the middle of October and we're all still wearing shorts down here <Big shit eating grin).

Quote: and oh yeah mon-dude..we have health coverage..whats that you ask? i think ive explained this one to you before...

Yeah, you have, but I'm senile. ;) Besides, We don't need health coverage. We don't have to worry about drowning in some kind of bizzare maple syrup incedent, or getting mauled by a pissed-off moose.

And down here in Texas, we don't need any surgical operations to get our buttcheeks treated for frostbite.

All we have to worry about is getting shot by some drunk redneck with a twelve gauge, and when you're dead, you don't need health coverage. ;)

(Editor's note: The preceeding rant does not reflect the poster's actual feeling for Canada. He just likes giving certain posters a hard time)

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[WallyM7]

Why, you little Texan (Sue's description, not mine) you should be grateful you have us for a neighbour. If it wasn't for our huge nuclear arsenal, you'd have been over run by Mexico long ago. But they know we like to go to DisneyWorld in February, so they won't mess with you. We stand on guard for thee.

Of course, I won't be going to DisneyWorld. In February, I'm going to Vegas for a week.

They're holding some money for me that I left behind on my last trip.

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I have lots of willpower.

I'm just too strong to be a slave to it.

[CanadianSue]

Wally.. im thinking its about time we just say screw it and annex those lil texans.. show them what life is all about on the outside!!

Hope you win your bucks back!!

[Sealemon88]

Ummm...Wally, I think you're getting "number of drunken hockey players per capita" confused with "number of nuclear warheads."


And check out my post: I didn't write extra large, it was done for me!

We might not have free health insurance, but we get free big-ass fonts!

And if you saw my belly, you'd know there is nothing small about me.

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[CanadianSue]

Hey!! we like those drunken hockey players.. there's nothing like a good night of watching them duke it out on the ice.. while we drink our icy REAL beer.. HOckey is a Canadian Staple!!! Go Oilers Go

[Sealemon88]

< sigh > I remember being able to say "Go Oilers Go". Of course it never really helped, did it?

We will get another football team now, and I'm just hoping this team doesn't choke like those durn Oilers.

So, do ya think we've killed this thread yet?

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[WallyM7]

Not quite.

What's with the "Remember the Alamo" thing?
You lost. Santa Anna kicked your ass.
Shouldn't it be "Forget the Alamo, Let's Grab a Burritto?"

And I don't think Sue was referring to your belly when she adjectivized you as little.

But that's another thread. When all the evidence is in, you won't be able to show your face in the pit for 30 days.

I am, however, amendable to some kind of agreement for a reasonable stipend.

U.S. currency only. None of that Canuck funny money.



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I have lots of willpower.

I'm just too strong to be a slave to it.

[CanadianSue]

ummmmmm

[Momotaro]

Fellow Canadians, report to our main office (http://www.standonguard.com/).

I wonder how many of us there are on the SD? I know three.

[Sealemon88]

We lost the Alamo, but we won the war. Of course, we still get invaded everyday, but that's a topic for another thread.

Hey Wally, just because you have a second belly button doesn't mean that everybody else does.

Aahhh, I'm just jealous because you have an old, beat up Harley. ;)

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[matt_mcl]

Not overly surprised by Occam's profile including the occupation of student.

As a student, I resent that...

[tomndebb]

You misspelled resemble.