Mini-rants

[Silver Tyger]

Well, the old one disappeared and this one isn't Christmas related. So, mini-micro-rants.


What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just call the dentist and make an appointment? Why can't I just go to the doctor? Stupid fucking social anxiety. I'm not even getting cold sweats or anxious or anything. I just can't DO it.

Also, brain, stop wanting to spam everywhere trying to get people to read your livejournal. (which is in my sig. Which I'm not going to put on, because I've already used it twice today.) People'll either read it or they won't. Just chill. Hey, you've already got two regular readers. That's pretty damn good, innit?


Not so micro: Sis, I swear to god, if you don't take the cats to the damn vet soon, I'm hauling them to the pound. (not really, but I will take them over the an animal rescue group. Well, maybe). (They're not sick, but they need a checkup and updated shots and things) You've been saying you're going to take them for like three months now. You have the money, just GO. Aren't the cats more important than buying fucking shelves? Your priorities are completely fucked up, you know that?

[Zebra]

Fuck Fuck Fuck!

[DiosaBellissima]

Curse my left eye. Yeah, you heard me!

Why is it that my left eye will randomly start watering whenever I even think about putting on makeup? Seriously! I don't even have to apply the damned eyeshadow and BOOM! It's like fucking Niagra Falls!

But you know what, stupid left eye? I'm applying makeup anyway and I've got mad skills, bitch. I'm waterproofing like a mofo and you will not ruin my eyeshadow today.

Right eye, on the other hand, you are good people. I like you. You don't ever water. For that, my friend, you will forever be my favorite. Suck on that, left eye.

[Litoris]

Ok. Here's the thing -- if you're the new barista at $tarbucks, and a customer walks in that every other employee recognises, smiles, says hi to and strikes up conversation with -- that should clue you in that said customer is what is known as a "regular" and as such, most likely knows (better than you do!) how to make her drink. When said customer politely informs you that the mocha syrup goes in first, then the espresso then -- no water -- "very little, as in less than a scoop of ice", well....I'm just sayin'.

So, you screwed up my drink 4 times, ok, no big deal. I am a patient person when it comes to my coffee. I want it to be right. Hell, after you fucked it up the second time (by putting ice on top of the syrup before the espresso), I was willing to let it go and just take whatever. I am not an addict, I could have walked out of there without my drink and been just fine. The last 2 times, it was another (well, two different) employee who corrected you. Don't look at me and say "this will melt your cup." Aside from, ya know, buying the same fucking drink every fucking weekday for the last year or more, I happen to have some concept of thermodynamics -- when you put cold mocha syrup in the cup first, it tempers the fucking cup. The espresso will not melt the cup.

Ahhhhhh, I feel better. Honestly, I will give everyone a chance. Granted, my drink is a bit confusing to a newbie (although it's probably the easiest drink on the planet to make once you know it -- 3 pumps of mocha syrup in a tall cup followed by 5 shots of espresso and half a scoop of ice), but still -- when the customer AND 2 other employees tell you how to make it, don't get pissy, just do it the way you're supposed to, ya know?

[buttonjockey308]

Seriously woman, get off your ass and take an advil fer chrissakes! Instead of hour after hour of "ooh, I have a headache, ooh, my throat hurts" blah, blah, blah, DO something about it, or shut your flappity gumhole already. Fuck.

[Dung Beetle]

Right eye, on the other hand, you are good people. I like you. You don't ever water. For that, my friend, you will forever be my favorite. Suck on that, left eye.
*spews coffee*

[An Arky]

When both the big and little hands are on the four, there won't be a damn thing I can do about it. :(

[cowgirl]

Ok. Here's the thing -- if you're the new barista at $tarbucks, and a customer walks in that every other employee recognises, smiles, says hi to and strikes up conversation with -- that should clue you in that said customer is what is known as a "regular" and as such, most likely knows (better than you do!) how to make her drink ... I worked at a coffee shop for a long time. Every single day that I ever worked there (including Sundays, and often twice) a man came into the shop and ordered a large (sometimes extra large) mochaccino, extra hot (i.e. 180 degrees instead of the corporate-mandated 140-160). Every day for many years x $4 and up = good customer.

So one day we had a new manager and the regular walked in and my colleague commenced making his drink. The manager asked the regular what he wanted; the regular said "Extra large mochaccino, extra hot." The manager said "I'm sorry, I can't make that for you, we have corporate rules about temperature." The regular said "can HE make it for me?" and pointed to my colleague who was in the process of making his drink, as he had done every day for the past many years. The manager said no. The colleague and the regular and I all tried to convince him but he refused. The regular left and never came back.

[Helen's Eidolon]

I'm presenting at a conference in March, all the way across the country. I looked up prices for flights a while ago, and saw that they were around 350$. No problem.

I look again today - they're 350$ EACH WAY. Total is about 900 dollars. And I can't find a flight out late enough in the day to return, so I'll have to stay two nights (and pay for two hotel nights), unless I want to skip out of the conference early. Aiee.

[Br'er Lapin]

nevermind.

[fisha]

I'm presenting at a conference in March, all the way across the country. I looked up prices for flights a while ago, and saw that they were around 350$. No problem.

I look again today - they're 350$ EACH WAY. Total is about 900 dollars. And I can't find a flight out late enough in the day to return, so I'll have to stay two nights (and pay for two hotel nights), unless I want to skip out of the conference early. Aiee.

Try www.kayak.com. Get fare alerts. Give it a couple of weeks.

[Cat Whisperer]

OH YOU SONOFABITCHING BASTARDY GOATFELCHING COMPUTER!!!!! I just spent the last 45 minutes of my life trying to get an extremely long payment to balance (308 invoices, some of them with 115 plus line items on them), and the computer just decided to take a shit for no apparent reason! And the sonofabitching bastardy goatfelching program we work in doesn't save any of your work until it balances.

Okay, deep, cleansing breaths. Try not to throw computer across room. {breathe in} {breathe out}

[Zambini57]

My mini-rant is about when some "Guest" posts a semi-decent OP and immediately some of the regs start in with the "Oh, please stay here, don't ever (evar?) leave! Here, let me pay your subscription fee!"

I don't like overly fawning behavior, such as when someone posts "I love (lurve?) you" in response to some inanity or other.

[Captain_C]

Seriously state Social Services department, call me back. You want good employees, and I want to work for you. I'm working on a masters degree in your preferred field and I am willing to move pretty much anywhere in the state at this point. You can't honestly tell me that not one single county in the entire state is hiring. I'm in your hiring pool, and I have references from within your department. Use me already!

[Rascal's Mom]

I hate my job.

[ivylass]

When both the big and little hands are on the four, there won't be a damn thing I can do about it. :(


:confused:

[Squink]

:confused:
420 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/420_(cannabis_culture))

[SnakesCatLady]

Lying about why you destroyed your alarm keypad will not help you. Telling the dealer that "the girl who called me to tell me the backup battery is low told me to take the keypad apart" will not get you a free replacement keypad. It will cause me some stress, and it may put the supervisor to the trouble of going through the voice recordings to prove to the dealer that I didn't tell you to do that, but you are going to look like a troublemaking liar as well as an idiot when the truth comes out. I know I've only been here two months but even I know better than that.

Fucking jerk.

[Cat Whisperer]

My mini-rant is about when some "Guest" posts a semi-decent OP and immediately some of the regs start in with the "Oh, please stay here, don't ever (evar?) leave! Here, let me pay your subscription fee!"<snip>
Hah! I was thinking about starting a Pit thread about exactly that behaviour. Instead I got all surly and stuff in the thread where people were doing it. What are we, in high school or something, where we have to beg the cool people to hang out with us? I didn't do that then, and I'm certainly not starting now; join or don't join, just be a contributing member/guest and contribute to my entertainment. That's all I ask.

[A Priori Tea]

Hah! I was thinking about starting a Pit thread about exactly that behaviour. Instead I got all surly and stuff in the thread where people were doing it. What are we, in high school or something, where we have to beg the cool people to hang out with us? I didn't do that then, and I'm certainly not starting now; join or don't join, just be a contributing member/guest and contribute to my entertainment. That's all I ask.


Surly's a little harsh, featherlou - you can tell people to quit sucking my dick any day, so long as they ignore you. :D

My minirant: XBox 360, I love you. You know I love you. You know I give you the good power, the good wireless access, the regular dustings, and only the very best games to be played on you. I treat you right, 360. Why you gotta make me hurt you? Don't be like this, honey. I love you! Don't make me power-cycle you, and yank your cords out in rage. I don't want to have to drop you from a fifth-floor window and cackle madly at the shattering noise you'll make when you hit the parking lot below. I don't want you to make me do that, 'cause I love you so much. You know I'm sorry about that silly little fling I had with Viva Pinata - it was bright and shiny, but it didn't MEAN anything to me! Not like you do, baby. So don't make me hurt you. Don't be that way. Just be good, and I can still love you like you like. You know it hurts me to hurt you. So just be good, and everything will be okay.

[Ephemera]

My mini-rant is about when some "Guest" posts a semi-decent OP and immediately some of the regs start in with the "Oh, please stay here, don't ever (evar?) leave! Here, let me pay your subscription fee!"

I don't like overly fawning behavior, such as when someone posts "I love (lurve?) you" in response to some inanity or other.

What about telling an already existing member (s)he's adorable? 'cause I almost told olives that recently and she totally is. She can pay for her own subscription, though. I'm cheap.

[Typo Negative]

Why, for the love of GOD, can I not find shirts that fit????

I have broad shoulders and what appear to be unusually long arms. If I find a shirt that has enough room for both.......I also get enough room to hide an anaconda around my waist. And I have quite an ample waist. What the hell is going on???

Who the hell are these barrel-bellied, short arm people these shirts are made for?

I picked up an ""XXL" sweatshirt the other day in a store and I swear that the sleeve didn't go past my elbow.

[pepperlandgirl]

I'm presenting at a conference in March, all the way across the country. I looked up prices for flights a while ago, and saw that they were around 350$. No problem.

I look again today - they're 350$ EACH WAY. Total is about 900 dollars. And I can't find a flight out late enough in the day to return, so I'll have to stay two nights (and pay for two hotel nights), unless I want to skip out of the conference early. Aiee.

Is this conference in San Francisco at the end of the month? If so, I'm giving a paper there, too. I'm driving, though. Much cheaper than flying.

[chowder]

LOL, ROFLMAO,PMSL..........and others.

Do not fucking post this stupid inane childish spunkstabbing bilge you half-witted excuse for a dead skunk

[Viridiana]

One of my ratties is sick and I'm sad. Stupid Life.

[Pullet]

If I'm going to have insomnia, why can't dopers on the east coast have the courtesy to post to the SDMB early in the morning? Fuckers.

[SomeUserName]

If I'm going to have insomnia, why can't dopers on the east coast have the courtesy to post to the SDMB early in the morning? Fuckers.

I try. I mean I was up at 4am on a fucking Saturday when I don't have to work. I pit my internal clock. Can I at least sleep until five? I mean six would be nice but I am willing to work with ya.

I want to sleep in for once :mad:

[GuanoLad]

I've had a couple of minor warnings from a Mod. I'm unhappy, both that I got them, and that I deserved them :(

[bbs2k]

If I'm going to have insomnia, why can't dopers on the east coast have the courtesy to post to the SDMB early in the morning? Fuckers.My posting times EST:

Today, 12:19 AM; Things I Hate About the Search Function Here

Today, 01:10 AM; In praise of Der Trihs

Today, 01:48 AM; I like cows.

Today, 03:09 AM; Ever been attacked by a large wild animal?

Today, 03:16 AM; And on earth: peace, goodwill towards men - a defiantly Christmas-y MMP

Today, 03:21 AM; And on earth: peace, goodwill towards men - a defiantly Christmas-y MMP

Today, 03:30 AM; And on earth: peace, goodwill towards men - a defiantly Christmas-y MMP

Today, 03:33 AM; The Goa'uld are the dumbest bad guys ever...

Today, 04:47 AM; I pit "If x happened, y would say z"

Today, 05:08 AM; If you knew someone was married......

Today, 05:52 AM; I like cows.

Today, 07:16 AM; Blood donation





You also had six posts in that same time frame. So I'd like to say "we're trying"! Night Owls of the world unite.

[fisha]

Welcome back, bbs2k.

[bbs2k]

Welcome back, bbs2k.It's good to be back.

I would write a mini-rant about being suspended, but I was the only jerk/guy to blame for what I brought upon myself.

[Cat Whisperer]

Surly's a little harsh, featherlou - you can tell people to quit sucking my dick any day, so long as they ignore you. :D<snip>
I dunno; I posted it early in the morning before going to work, and surly is probably as good a word as any. :)

[Helen's Eidolon]

Is this conference in San Francisco at the end of the month? If so, I'm giving a paper there, too. I'm driving, though. Much cheaper than flying.
Nope, it's in Edmonton. Montreal to Edmonton, mapquest tells me, is 40 hours of driving time - not ideal. Good luck at yours!

[Alice The Goon]

Fucking Netflix. Last winter between Christmas and New Year's it took me a week to turn around movies, which was bullshit and I was pissed. This year looks like they're doing the same fucking thing, except this time they're saying movies were shipped on the 27th, from my own city, and they haven't arrived yet! Now I am sitting here all weekend without any movies, and no guarantee that they'll come on Monday, either. No, queue, they're NOT at home! They're not! Bastards!!

[Pullet]

bbs2k, you are forgiven and given a gold star for effort.

SomeUserName: Try harder. :p

[eenerms]

I'm on a committee that has organized a NYE Party for our small community. We have the facility, the caterer and decorations. We needed numbers of who is coming for this party and gave a date for response and payment. Why is this so difficult for ADULTS to understand??? Don't ring me up the day before and ask if you can come.

[SomeUserName]

bbs2k, you are forgiven and given a gold star for effort.

SomeUserName: Try harder. :p

Okay here I am. It is 4:59am. The gods have chosen to let me sleep in until 4:30 today. Where the fuck are ya?

[MrDibble]

Today, bumped into my 3rd African-American this holiday season, who was here in South Africa to "find his roots" (at least these last two didn't add "Just like Oprah").

Newsflash, you Kunta Kente-wannabe motherfuckers: The odds of your ancestors being from here is as minuscule as them being Patagonians. Go to the DRC or Nigeria. Oh, wait, we're the only Sub-Saharan region with decent beaches and no malaria that isn't a war-torn shithole, aren't we? Hmmm, convenient.

[DrCube]

So, it's my fault that I didn't trust other people's opinions and judged them based on "Push the Little Daisies"; but why O why did I have to wait until the age of TWENTY-FIVE, deep into the 21st century, to discover Ween??!!

Fuck. My life has been wasted.