Clichés of videogames that are bugging me

[Charlie Tan]

After getting my Wii in June, I've been on a streak with one great game after another. I like non-linear adventure puzzle games. I don't mind blowing the heads of zombies, but pure fighter, shoot-em-ups and the likes bore me. I also get frustrated when there's an obstacle that must be passed and having no other way to go to spend time while trying to figure out how to deal with that obstacle.

Anyway. There are a few things in common which I think are really, really, really dumb and it seems it doesn't matter which company produced the title, the conventions are still there.

1. During the run of the game, the hero picks up enough stuff to need a van to haul it around, yet, it all fits in pockets, a small backpack (Lara Croft) or maybe under a pointy cap (Link). Leon Kennedy has his brief case that grows to a suit case, but getting around, even with the smaller case, wouldn't be possible.

2. Who are these people going around stick money in ceramic pots? Yeah, I'm looking at you RE4. BTW, Spain shifted to € in 2002 and the game was released in '04 IIRC. Sloppy. In general, I find it annoying when games that try to make themselves have some connection to reality (human heroes, takes place on Earth), there is a ready supply of medkits and ammo conveniently dumped in the hinterland for our heroes to pick up and keep going. (Yeah, yeah, the concept of saving and re-trying in case the hero dies is cheating too)

3. Everything is always there for a Reason. If something can be manipulated, it must be of use in the game somehow. An empty bottle just sitting there on the shelf, is never just an empty bottle. 30 minutes later, it turns out that the hero will need it in order to stash some liquid and do a MacGyver. And If I, as a player, missed the damn bottle, I have to backtrack forever.

4. The bigger the enemies, the bigger the weapon. As the game progresses, the hero will always pick up just the right weapon and up the life force just enough to be able to beat the big monster. In Zelda I enjoyed the Darknut plain swordfighting much more than the ever bigger monsters that are easily defeated by using the latest addition to the arsenal (though the double hook shots are cool).

Videogames are hardly a new artform anymore and we've gone from theclassic (and still fun) plattformer with obstacles to being able to create immense worlds with amazing graphics. But the stories still feel very '95 and Doom to me.

[wolfman]

2. Who are these people going around stick money in ceramic pots? Yeah, I'm looking at you RE4. BTW, Spain shifted to € in 2002 and the game was released in '04 IIRC. Sloppy. In general, I find it annoying when games that try to make themselves have some connection to reality (human heroes, takes place on Earth), there is a ready supply of medkits and ammo conveniently dumped in the hinterland for our heroes to pick up and keep going. (Yeah, yeah, the concept of saving and re-trying in case the hero dies is cheating too)

That reminds me of my own hated cliche from role-playing games. If you are eating apples and Pies you find in an old crate, in an abandoned dungeon filled with spiders and slime monsters, you should die of intestinal distress within 24 hours, not get a health bonus.

[smiling bandit]

Everyone dies the minute you arrive. Some games do this all the time and it pisses me off to no end. This is so ludicrously stupid I can't even fathom it.

[Zsofia]

That reminds me of my own hated cliche from role-playing games. If you are eating apples and Pies you find in an old crate, in an abandoned dungeon filled with spiders and slime monsters, you should die of intestinal distress within 24 hours, not get a health bonus.
Yeah, so you're wandering around in a cemetery. It's full of zombies. You look down and hey! There's a ham! You're gonna eat that ham?!

[asterion]

1. During the run of the game, the hero picks up enough stuff to need a van to haul it around, yet, it all fits in pockets, a small backpack (Lara Croft) or maybe under a pointy cap (Link). Leon Kennedy has his brief case that grows to a suit case, but getting around, even with the smaller case, wouldn't be possible.Got your answer right here (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=984).


2. Who are these people going around stick money in ceramic pots? Yeah, I'm looking at you RE4. BTW, Spain shifted to € in 2002 and the game was released in '04 IIRC. Sloppy. In general, I find it annoying when games that try to make themselves have some connection to reality (human heroes, takes place on Earth), there is a ready supply of medkits and ammo conveniently dumped in the hinterland for our heroes to pick up and keep going. (Yeah, yeah, the concept of saving and re-trying in case the hero dies is cheating too)And let's not forget nobody minding if you break into their house, steal all their worldly goods, and pester them mercilessly for information.


3. Everything is always there for a Reason. If something can be manipulated, it must be of use in the game somehow. An empty bottle just sitting there on the shelf, is never just an empty bottle. 30 minutes later, it turns out that the hero will need it in order to stash some liquid and do a MacGyver. And If I, as a player, missed the damn bottle, I have to backtrack forever.Even worse when you play an entire game, realize you missed a ton of non-obvious stuff, and have to go track down a complete walkthrough and play it again to find out what the heck you've missed.


4. The bigger the enemies, the bigger the weapon. As the game progresses, the hero will always pick up just the right weapon and up the life force just enough to be able to beat the big monster. In Zelda I enjoyed the Darknut plain swordfighting much more than the ever bigger monsters that are easily defeated by using the latest addition to the arsenal (though the double hook shots are cool).That sounds like bad game design.


Videogames are hardly a new artform anymore and we've gone from theclassic (and still fun) plattformer with obstacles to being able to create immense worlds with amazing graphics. But the stories still feel very '95 and Doom to me.
Doom had a storyline?

[Jas09]

3. Everything is always there for a Reason. If something can be manipulated, it must be of use in the game somehow. An empty bottle just sitting there on the shelf, is never just an empty bottle. 30 minutes later, it turns out that the hero will need it in order to stash some liquid and do a MacGyver. And If I, as a player, missed the damn bottle, I have to backtrack forever.
This is even worse combined with the "infinite payload". Now I basically have to pick up every damn item I can because it's gonna be important. If I could only carry what a real person could carry (even with a backpack or something), then I have to pick and chose what items are actually useful. Also, give me more than one way to finish a task - don't make me have a particular bottle, any container that's big enough will do.
And let's not forget nobody minding if you break into their house, steal all their worldly goods, and pester them mercilessly for information.
Yeah, I wish there were more games where if you take somebodies shit they kill you (or at least beat you up and take it back). And where if you ask random people on the street about the kidnapped princess they just look at you funny, mumble under the breath, and walk away.

[Derleth]

Since when do you always know how to open every door? This ranges from knowing which key goes to which lock to not being stymied by a door that sticks in the wet unless you really lean into it.
Bugs just aren't that dangerous. I can usually deal with things that much smaller than me by stepping on them, a skill video game characters seem to lack. Failing that, I can reach onto my head and pull the damned thing off before it gets a good foothold.
How come nobody else needs ammo? Maybe in more modern games this is alleviated, but in the standard FPS enemies never run out of whatever it is they shoot. Some of the thugs I've taken down must have been storing clips up their ass all the way to their liver. Never does me any good.
How many areas really need unsorted boxes and/or barrels? Usually, wooden boxes and barrels of chemical ooze are labeled clearly and stored away in a warehouse for future use (or so they remain sequestered). They are not strewn willy-nilly in research labs, sewers, city streets, or houses with gigantic basements. What would be the point of that?
And this is all ignoring the really obvious ones which are required for the genre as a whole to work, and the ones that I can generally wink at (such as how many energy weapons are less effective than a simple pump-action shotgun, especially considering rate of fire and availability of ammunition).

[Mr. Miskatonic]

Yeah, so you're wandering around in a cemetery. It's full of zombies. You look down and hey! There's a ham! You're gonna eat that ham?!

Mmmmmmmm, Graveyard Ham.

[Pithy Moniker]

The fate of the world typically rests on the shoulders of teenagers.

[Max Torque]

That reminds me of my own hated cliche from role-playing games. If you are eating apples and Pies you find in an old crate, in an abandoned dungeon filled with spiders and slime monsters, you should die of intestinal distress within 24 hours, not get a health bonus.
I found this flash cartoon (http://shadowmaginis.deviantart.com/art/BioShock-Flash-63858091) yesterday, about that very phenomenon.

My hated cliche is "escort the helpless, frail human bullseye to the exit." And the damn person you're forced to escort seems to have a death wish or something; he/she just stands right out in the open during a fight, blunders off cliffs and into monsters....

[Charlie Tan]

Doom had a storyline?
Nope, and it hasn't really gotten any better, which is my point. There are still energy tanks floating around mid air.
I know Half-life tried to work around this and making it more realistic in having Gordon look for actual ammo storages.
Problem is, there where a bit to many of them, and a bit too conveniently located, so even if it worked better at Black Mesa, it still wasn't good enough.

[puppygod]

And let's not forget nobody minding if you break into their house, steal all their worldly goods, and pester them mercilessly for information.

Actually opposite is as cliched, or even worse. In many games - mostly cRPG - when you enter somebody's house and take something, they instantly become homicidal maniacs. I mean, team of six armor-clad and armed up their teeth warriors enter home where is only one unarmed little girl and take apple from the table. The "red circle" around girl lits up and she charges into them in maniacal rage to fight them to death. The same goes for choosing bad line of dialog. Suddenly nice old man become hostile and attacks in a mindless 24-hours-later style despite zero chances of winning. Are all those NPC bipolar or what?

[Zsofia]

I one came across a webpage which was devoted entirely to the tradition of random crates. Specifically, crates without pallets. If you've ever really worked with crates at all, you know crates don't show up without pallets. How did the crate get there? How are we going to move it again? Crates and pallets are like peanut butter and jelly. Chickens and eggs. Graveyards and ham.

[Mahaloth]

My hated cliche is "escort the helpless, frail human bullseye to the exit." And the damn person you're forced to escort seems to have a death wish or something; he/she just stands right out in the open during a fight, blunders off cliffs and into monsters....

All escort missions suck. The people never follow properly and while it takes a few shots to kill me, they die if they get nicked.

Of course, in addition to all other RPG cliches, there is the idea of the tent, inn, and cottage. If you sleep overnight, you are totally healed. Why?

[Bosstone]

4. The bigger the enemies, the bigger the weapon. As the game progresses, the hero will always pick up just the right weapon and up the life force just enough to be able to beat the big monster. In Zelda I enjoyed the Darknut plain swordfighting much more than the ever bigger monsters that are easily defeated by using the latest addition to the arsenal (though the double hook shots are cool).Hear hear on both counts. I love Twilight Princess to death, but I openly acknowledge that the new gadgets are gimmicks. They're cool, but they're so blatantly gimmicky that it's just kinda sad. Fighting the Darknuts towards the end of the game, on the other hand, made any possible drawbacks TP has worthwhile. That was just pure fun.

[Cluricaun]

If the game has any action cut scenes, your player will be able to do things that you can't make him do in the game, weather it's cool killing moves or taking out 5 or 6 baddies in 10 seconds with minimal shots. That being said, you can be kicking the ass of every NPC in the world, but there will come a time when they beat you up without actually beating you up and you'll have none of your items left until you find them again.

Also, when you know that your partner is going to turn on you and you can't just shoot him in the head 3 levels earlier than it lets you. That's just sloppy.

[Captain Amazing]

Of course, in addition to all other RPG cliches, there is the idea of the tent, inn, and cottage. If you sleep overnight, you are totally healed. Why?

You're also, as was referred to earlier, healed if you eat things, which if it worked in the real world would really empty out the emergency rooms.

As a corrolary to that, if you don't want to heal, there's no reason to eat or sleep ever. Nobody ever gets hungry or tired.

[Drunky Smurf]

*SNIP*

Yeah, I wish there were more games where if you take somebodies shit they kill you (or at least beat you up and take it back). And where if you ask random people on the street about the kidnapped princess they just look at you funny, mumble under the breath, and walk away.

This is why I love Morrowing and Oblivion. People do not so much care if you come into their house or business but if they see you steal stuff they try to fight you and then when you go outside the guards will try and chase you.

[Baldwin]

[list]
Since when do you always know how to open every door? This ranges from knowing which key goes to which lock to not being stymied by a door that sticks in the wet unless you really lean into it.Equally bad is the opposite cliche, in which you absolutely can't open an ordinary door without finding the right key, even though you're carrying a crowbar, an axe, three pistols, a shotgun and, somehow, a motorized Gatling gun.

[Snarky_Kong]

You guys would design the most boring games ever.

[msmith537]

Well, it appears the cliche of the anal retentive nerd nitpicking the minutia of the very media they are the target audience of is still alive and well. ;)

[Derleth]

You guys would design the most boring games ever.Excuse me while I go play SimEarth and Curses.

[Charlie Tan]

Graveyards and ham.
You're funny. :D


Of course, green eggs and ham would look perfectly normal in a zombie graveyard.

[Charlie Tan]

... the minutia...
Since English is only my second language, I might be wrong, but don't you think minutiae would be a better choice here?



What!?






:D

[hotflungwok]

Wow, you guys never heard of Dr. Doomfear Gunhand: The Bad Guy Hunter? It had all kinds of features as close to reality as they could make it.

Like when you got hurt, you didn't just eat asprin or pick up a medkit, you went to go to a separate screen where you had to carefully apply different kinds of bandages to your wounds. If you didn't cover the wound right, or forgot antibacterial ointment, the wound would go bad and you would lose the limb or die. If you actually got shot, bandages didn't do anything, and you had to go see a doctor. You had only a few minutes to get to one or you would die. And then of course the cops would show up and want to know why the doc had to dig slugs out of you, and why you were packing.

It had a great inventory system too. You could carry something in your hand, and a few little things in your pockets, and maybe a pistol in your belt, and that was all. Oh, you could find a backpack that let you carry more stuff, but it threw your balance off if you had anything heavy and made it impossible to jump & move quietly. Also it took a while to take off and rumage through to find anything in it. If you tried to carry something too heavy, you might throw your back out. Then you would move slower and couldn't sneak at all. Made using the rocket launcher kinda rough.

Also, your character had to eat and go to the bathroom every now and then. If you didn't eat he would get faint and move slower and his hands would shake. And it had to be good stuff. If all you ate was candy you would get a headache, and if all you ate was McDonalds then you got fat. If you didn't go to the bathroom, well, sometimes that took care of itself. Made it really hard to sneak. Depends was always a great find.

You may not have heard of it. It didn't do well. Cuz it sucked.

[Antinor01]

3. Everything is always there for a Reason. If something can be manipulated, it must be of use in the game somehow. An empty bottle just sitting there on the shelf, is never just an empty bottle. 30 minutes later, it turns out that the hero will need it in order to stash some liquid and do a MacGyver. And If I, as a player, missed the damn bottle, I have to backtrack forever.

Either that, or the one item you need is only available in one shop in the entire game for a rediculous overinflated price, say a plain water bottle. (And it is the only thing in the entire game world capable of holding, say...ordinary water) Or it may be available as a prize for a long complicated side quest. good grief that sort of thing sucks.

[Johnny Angel]

NPC deaths piss me off. They're staged to advance the plot and you can't avoid them even though it doesn't make any sense.

"He got me, Johnny! You must go to the castle..."

"Relax. We got healing out the wazoo."

"No, it's too late for me. Your healing magic cannot help."

"Our own party takes worse than this all the time. We bring 'em back the next round. Our cleric keeps Resurrect memorized. That could bring you back if all we had left was a fingernail."

"Don't waste a spell on me, I've had a good life."

"Waste, nothing. It only takes eight hours to rest and regain spells. We can do it right in front of the next door, since nobody ever opens doors but us."

"Actuallly, I'd kind of rather you let me die. My time has passed, I've fought my fight..."

"That doesn't even make sense. Drink this healing potion!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

In the end, the old wizard died choking on a healing potion

I've been replaying Baldur's Gate with the Baldur's Gate TuTu program, and I'm finding the world full of barrels with gold or gems in them. My thief unlocks doors, and then when we walk into the previously-locked houses, most people don't ask how we got in. I assume for roleplaying purposes that I'm actually talking to distract the residents while Imoen rifles through their drawers, but if I really did I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

"What can you tell me of this Amnish invasion?"

"Oh, it's terrible. I've been saving to move my family out, but somebody stole our gold."

"What, already? I mean, egads, somebody broke in and robbed you?"

"No, we were keeping our money in a rain barrel outside the house. We thought, 'What kind of nut would go digging in peoples' rain barrels?"

"Word to the wise, ma'am. Don't put your valuables in any container that lights up when you hit 'Tab.'"

"But the others don't open at all."

"Whoops. Imoen says it's time to go. Take care, ma'am."

[Mosier]

Since English is only my second language, I might be wrong, but don't you think minutiae would be a better choice here?



What!?






:D

Minutia is the plural of minutiae.

[Incubus]

In RPGs, NPCs often will just blurt out some random thought or tidbit of information. The games rarely, if ever, indicate what your character said to them. It especially gets irritating if you are stuck in the game and maybe talk to townspeople. Now, I'm not expecting some ordinary peasant to know the secret to slaying the Giga Fire Golem or whatever, but at the very least maybe he/she could point me to someone who does, or give me some kind of lead.

Incubus bumps into a lady with a basket on her head

Basket Lady: There sure are a lot of monsters roaming around these days
Incubus: Excuse me?
BL: I said there sure are a lot of monster's roaming around these days
Incubus: I'm sorry, I didn't even ask you a question
BL: I know, you just seem like someone who might want to know that.
Incubus: Why do you need to tell me this?
BL: I'm telling everybody!
Incubus: :smack:

[Gangster Octopus]

I just got the Simpsons for the Wii and as you play the game one of your "quests" is to discover the 31 videogame clicehs.

[Charlie Tan]

Minutia is the plural of minutiae.
You sure 'bout that?

mi·nu·ti·a
–noun,
plural -ti·ae
Usually, minutiae. precise details; small or trifling matters: the minutiae of his craft.

[Zsofia]

I love how even when everybody knows you're the last hope of the world against the great darkness, you don't get the tiniest little discount on stuff you might need, like healing potions, to do it with. Or a room to stay in. Or dinner.

[TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]

Wow, you guys never heard of Dr. Doomfear Gunhand: The Bad Guy Hunter? It had all kinds of features as close to reality as they could make it.

Like when you got hurt, you didn't just eat asprin or pick up a medkit, you went to go to a separate screen where you had to carefully apply different kinds of bandages to your wounds. If you didn't cover the wound right, or forgot antibacterial ointment, the wound would go bad and you would lose the limb or die. If you actually got shot, bandages didn't do anything, and you had to go see a doctor. You had only a few minutes to get to one or you would die. And then of course the cops would show up and want to know why the doc had to dig slugs out of you, and why you were packing.

It had a great inventory system too. You could carry something in your hand, and a few little things in your pockets, and maybe a pistol in your belt, and that was all. Oh, you could find a backpack that let you carry more stuff, but it threw your balance off if you had anything heavy and made it impossible to jump & move quietly. Also it took a while to take off and rumage through to find anything in it. If you tried to carry something too heavy, you might throw your back out. Then you would move slower and couldn't sneak at all. Made using the rocket launcher kinda rough.

Also, your character had to eat and go to the bathroom every now and then. If you didn't eat he would get faint and move slower and his hands would shake. And it had to be good stuff. If all you ate was candy you would get a headache, and if all you ate was McDonalds then you got fat. If you didn't go to the bathroom, well, sometimes that took care of itself. Made it really hard to sneak. Depends was always a great find.

You may not have heard of it. It didn't do well. Cuz it sucked.

You pretty much just described Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater, but it did very well.

[msmith537]

You sure 'bout that?

Actually, the correct answer "who gives a shit?"

[Charlie Tan]

Actually, the correct answer "who gives a shit?"



Eeh... You? Since you brought it up?
Feeling a bit testy? Maybe a healing potion would help.

[Cervaise]

there is a ready supply of medkits and ammo conveniently dumped in the hinterland for our heroes to pick up and keep goingI like the HALO "loot the corpse" model: you run out of ammo, you can hope that somebody, friend or ally, is carrying the same weapon, so you can grab their supplies when they die, or you can choose to dump the empty weapon and pick up something else. This has been adopted by some games, but I'm surprised it isn't more widespread.

[Lumpy]

The deathtrap that requires you to run through it at full speed making split-second decisions about when to jump, dodge, duck, turn and shoot. Especially when you don't have enough ammo or time to shoot ALL the enemies and you have to figure out exactly which enemies must be shot in what order, to survive the death course. This isn't a test of skill, it's a test of your determination to memorize the course as you replay from your save point 50-100 times. Seriously, is there ever, ever, EVER a time in real life in which the smart thing to do is to plunge headlong into the maelstrom and trust your wits?

[wolfman]

I love how even when everybody knows you're the last hope of the world against the great darkness, you don't get the tiniest little discount on stuff you might need, like healing potions, to do it with. Or a room to stay in. Or dinner.


Yeah, I have always wanted to try out some of that crap IRL and see how it goes over.


FBI: Hey you were you standing here five minutes ago when the bank was robbed?

Wolfman: Yes I saw everything, I even have the license number.

FBI: Great give it to me!

WM: Just a sec I have a few tasks for you first....

FBI What the fuck are you talking about.

WM: First go to my house and pick up the overdue Library book and return it for me...

FBI Are you insane?
WM: My house is north at the end of a road, you will have to find the library on your own. After you do that....

FBI: Give me the License plate!

WM: I think I must have knocked a good knife in the garbage before I took it out, you will have to go to the dump and look for it..

(FBI beats the shit out of Wolfman)

[ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]

Lava.

There's always a level that has lava in the background just because.
Sure, GCI lava looked cool 10 years ago, but come on. It's not that impressive a graphic anymore. On a tropical island somewhere? Yep, there's a volcano. Sometimes it's just molten steel in some steam factory, but it's still red and flowing. Just why the hell would anyone build a Pokemon stadium be in the middle of a volcano?

[Mister Rik]

How 'bout a few from Diablo II, since I've been playing it again recently (because my old computer can't handle any of the newer stuff very well).

I can't use that yet: I can carry five or six full suits of heavy plate armor in my backpack, but I'm not strong enough to wear any of it. Never mind that I can fit even a single set of armor into a backpack.

Mercenary resurrection: For a hefty fee, somebody in town will cheerfully resurrect my dead sidekick. Yet this same NPC can't (or won't) resurrect any of his or her own fallen comrades, whose corpses are found littering every area of the game. Sigh. If only the NPCs had just looked into all those chests and baskets and jars and barrels, they would have found enough gold to have their comrades revived. And why does an archangel need gold to resurrect somebody?

Poorly-equipped NPCs: There's a blacksmith and other vendors in town who will happily sell me anything and everything I need, including all manner of powerful weaponry and armor. Yet apparently, either they can't be bothered to supply their own allies with suitable gear, or those allies have failed to avail themselves of their services. Witness, once again, the multitude of corpses found throughout the game, and especially the utterly ineffectual barbarian soldiers in Act V. If the local soldiers themselves can't afford to properly equip themselves, can't the local ruler pay to equip them?

Healing shrines and potions: Clearly, neither the NPCs nor the monsters know what these things are for.

[xizor]

Either that, or the one item you need is only available in one shop in the entire game for a rediculous overinflated price, say a plain water bottle. (And it is the only thing in the entire game world capable of holding, say...ordinary water) Or it may be available as a prize for a long complicated side quest. good grief that sort of thing sucks.

I absolutely agree. Especially in games where I am armed to the teeth (i.e. RE4), why can't I just rob the shop? Or kill the shopkeeper and loot what I need?

[Miller]

And why does an archangel need gold to resurrect somebody?


Apparently, Jerry Falwell was on to something.

[Charlie Tan]

I absolutely agree. Especially in games where I am armed to the teeth (i.e. RE4), why can't I just rob the shop? Or kill the shopkeeper and loot what I need?
OTOH getting the Chicago Typewriter made the game... less interesting. Point and shoot at anything, you're basically invincible and can kill anything. It's not a challenge. My latest incarnation of Leon Kennedy has the CT and a few herbs just in case. Nothing else is needed. The only problem is that the big damn coelacanth where getting the tiny rowboat into just the right position to launch a harpoon is such a pain in the ass.
I'm convinced that the game is pre-programmed to force the palyer to complete two surface swimming trips and one under water, no matter how good one is at hitting the damn fish

[DocCathode]

1. During the run of the game, the hero picks up enough stuff to need a van to haul it around, yet, it all fits in pockets, a small backpack (Lara Croft) or maybe under a pointy cap (Link). Leon Kennedy has his brief case that grows to a suit case, but getting around, even with the smaller case, wouldn't be possible.


I like this. Especially since I have a fear that I will need a particular item and not have it. Whenever I play Diablo, the town square becomes filled with neatly organized piles of gold and potions and objects that I just might need.

Leisure Suit Larry 2 actually had a great comment on this. After buying a million ounce Grotesque Gulp at the kwik e mart, you try to put it in your pocket. 'Are you crazy? You can barely lift this thing! How in the hell do you expect to fit it in your pocket? Oh what the hell, this isn't real life just a great simulation. You put the Grotesque Gulp in your pocket. It doesn't even make an unsightly bulge.'

[JR Brown]

You guys need to play some Nethack (http://www.nethack.org/).

:D

JRB

[Least Original User Name Ever]

I remember playing Diablo online and having giant piles of gold all over the town square.



Great times.

[tanstaafl]

First, I must present The Grand List of (Console) RPG Cliches (http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html).

Second, an FPS that does a lot of these things right is S.T.A.L.K.E.R.. You have a very limited carrying capacity, tend to only find ammo and such in hidden weapon caches or on the bodies of your opponents and you have to eat and drink periodically.

Of course, you can also go from having multiple gunshot wounds to full heath just by applying a few bandaids and drinking some vodka, but hey...

[Love Rhombus]

Doom had a storyline?


What, you never read the comic? (http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/)

[interface2x]

OTOH getting the Chicago Typewriter made the game... less interesting. Point and shoot at anything, you're basically invincible and can kill anything. It's not a challenge. You speak the truth. I went up against the main bad guy with that thing, unloaded for about 5 seconds, and the guy went down. Huh. That was a lot harder before.

Still, there is something really fun from time to time about taking out a full crowd of people in less than three seconds.

[Chronos]

Keys. There are two models for keys, one or the other of which is used in almost every computer game.

1: There is only one key in the universe. It opens every lock, ever. Nothing else will.

2: Keys are abundant. Any key can open any lock, but each key can only ever be used once.

[Balance]

Healing shrines and potions: Clearly, neither the NPCs nor the monsters know what these things are for.
Bioshock had some fun with this one. There are first aid stations that provide healing, and the NPCs know how to use them. However, you can hack the things so they will hurt anyone but you. (Of course, turnabout it fair play--there's a least one hacked vending machine that spits grenades at you if you try to use it.)

[MacSpon]

1. During the run of the game, the hero picks up enough stuff to need a van to haul it around, yet, it all fits in pockets, a small backpack (Lara Croft) or maybe under a pointy cap (Link). Leon Kennedy has his brief case that grows to a suit case, but getting around, even with the smaller case, wouldn't be possible.
In Monkey Island 2 there's a scene where you need to deal with, IIRC, an enormous sheepdog. The game lets you pick up the sheepdog and put it in your pocket. And once you've done it, your character looks directly into the "camera" and gives you a big cheesy grin.

How can you not love a game that, er, monkeys around with clichés like that?

[bouv]

First, I must present The Grand List of (Console) RPG Cliches (http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html).

Oh Go, those were hilarious. I barely play console RPGs (mostly because they are so damned cliched[/i] but I could still relate what few ones I have played to the list.

(I think my favorite is the "Load Bearing Boss!")

[Randy Seltzer]

A variant on a couple already mentioned:

You can take five or ten bullets in the face before you go down. Falling on a grenade takes perhaps half your HP. Zombie teeth sinking into your neck will only be a concern if you let it happen 19 more times.

But if, during a cutscene, someone sneaks up on you and blackjacks you on the back of the head, you get knocked out instantly. On a positive note, however, this will never kill you.

[Harborwolf]

A variant on a couple already mentioned:

You can take five or ten bullets in the face before you go down. Falling on a grenade takes perhaps half your HP. Zombie teeth sinking into your neck will only be a concern if you let it happen 19 more times.

But if, during a cutscene, someone sneaks up on you and blackjacks you on the back of the head, you get knocked out instantly. On a positive note, however, this will never kill you.Or just as ridiculous, you surrender when faced with a handful of armed opponents. Never mind that you likely just mowed your way through a platoon of them to get to this part. Two guys point weapons at you and it's time to throw in the towel.

[SSG Schwartz]

I haven't seen this yet. Cars do not need gas. You can drive for hours and never have to stop to fuel up. Also, you can crash a car beyond belief, and within seconds and for a few hundred dollars, the car will be fixed, painted and the cops won't recognize it.

SSG Schwartz

[crowmanyclouds]

I remember playing Diablo online and having giant piles of gold all over the town square.



Great times.Loved that, with my backpack full, running through piles of gold, trying to pick it up and watching the gold dance!

CMC +fnord!

[Ranchoth]

I don't know if it's quite a "cliche," but I'm plenty tired of (non-magical) sword/fist fights where every attack or landed blow spawns a technicolor cascade of light. Apparently, a lot of Synesthetics are bloodthirsty, roaming adventurers.