Happy Lendervedder: Kingmaker

[Happy Lendervedder]

As Obama's momentum continues to build, I hear message board and talk radio voices whispering things like "Who's behind Barack?" and "Who's pulling the strings behind the Obama campaign?" and so on and so forth.

I think it's only fair to everyone here to reveal that it is I-- Happy L. Lendervedder-- who is in fact holding the strings behind this phenomenal rise to national and international prominence.

You see, it all began on a sweaty July night in Aught-4-- I was just finishing off my third snifter of brandy and a bag of Crazy Bread. The phone rang. I answered it, and I turned on my television as instructed by the voice on the other end. I then made a few phone calls myself. Shortly thereafter, I posted this. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268610) The rest, as some say, is history.

If not for quick decisions made by me that night, there would be no "Barack Obama, presidential candidate." I'm as sure of that as I am of the hair on my balls.

A handful of you can boast that you were right there with me from the beginning-- I'll acknowledge you all in my "auto" (that's insider for "autobiography"), which will be published immediately after I finish my first term as President Obama's Labor Secretary, in early 2013.

I'll now take questions, which I may or may not choose to answer.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Mmmmm. Crazy Bread. That sounds really good right now.

[Marley23]

If not for quick decisions made by me that night, there would be no "Barack Obama, presidential candidate." I'm as sure of that as I am of the hair on my balls.
That's much more impressive than Stephen Colbert's claim to have "created" Mike Huckabee. However, it sounds like in 2004, you were actually supporting Barak Obama, who is a part-time janitor at a junior high school in Moline, not the candidate for President.

On the other hand, I was a little off, too.
People have to get over Obama. I think he'll be a very good Senator, but they have to be kidding about 2008. You think he's going to jump from an Illinois State Senator to VP in four years? Not a chance. Jeez, Edwards got criticized for inexperience, and at least he was at the end of a full Senate term. Obama is younger and even less experienced. He's off in the future. In 2016, he'll be 55 and would be finishing his second term in the Senate. That might work.

While I wrongly stuck to "political reality" (Senators lose! Experience matters!) for a long time, I did eventually get this right:
Now that I've typed it, I realized that "OBAMA in '08" would sound terrific and look great on a bumper sticker. It's euphonious and pleasing in a way that few combinations of candidates and years could ever be.

[Happy Lendervedder]

No more questions.

[Hal Briston]

SIRSIRSIR!ONEMOREOVERHEREPLEASESIR!

Mr. Lendervedder -- would you care to address the rumors that you had an inappropriate relationship with Hillary Clinton?

[Happy Lendervedder]

Hal, of course I can't answer that without a clearly stated definition of "with."

And "had."

And "would."

[C3]

You kid, but I was living in Australia when you posted that thread. I remember reading it and watching the link. So you actually did provide my very first exposure to Obama. Go Obama!