I, for one, welcome our new Muppet overlords.

[mobo85]

The Toy Fair is going on in New York through today. Among the toys introduced is a new Sesame Street toy which blows my mind- Elmo Live (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0rgfeKjULc&feature=related). This Elmo can talk, sing, sit down, cross his legs, tell stories and jokes, and other things in a very lifelike manner. Look at how real he acts! Obviously, the Muppacolypse is upon us. Our new robot Muppet masters will be coming for us. And I am ready.

[photopat]

The Toy Fair is going on in New York through today. Among the toys introduced is a new Sesame Street toy which blows my mind- Elmo Live (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0rgfeKjULc&feature=related). This Elmo can talk, sing, sit down, cross his legs, tell stories and jokes, and other things in a very lifelike manner. Look at how real he acts! Obviously, the Muppacolypse is upon us. Our new robot Muppet masters will be coming for us. And I am ready.

Cute, but can he cook?

[cmkeller]

I prefer Elmo dead to Elmo live.

[YellowTail]

God, I'll be seeing that in my nightmares!

[ZipperJJ]

I'll be waiting for the Muppetteer's Union strike now.

[Subway Prophet]

I don't get all this hate for the guy.

I mean, he's got a hilarious standup routine about kids. And I thought the bit part he had in UHF (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098546/) was pretty funny.

Ok, the pageboy haircut is a little disturbing, but I stopped having nightmares about that a long time ago.

[Kuboydal]

When I can I go into the supermarket and buy the robotic Muppet cranky old men in the balcony with my good looks?

[MissGypsy]

God, I'll be seeing that in my nightmares!

And I'll be hearing that in my sleep, because my two littlest ones adore Elmo. I was so grateful when the batteries in the oldest Elmo went dead, but those damn batteries seem to last forever.

They have Tickle Me Elmo, Let's Pretend Elmo, Chicken Dance Elmo, and some weird Village People type of Elmo that sings to the tune of "Y.M.C.A." Oh, and the Hokey-Pokey Elmo, and the potty-training Elmo, and probably half a dozen others that I've hidden.

Guess what they're going to want this year... :(

[GuanoLad]

"Through technology, we are able to bring toys to life like never before."

That's a cunning move. I hear technology is all the rage, these days.

[cochrane]

I'm Elmo of Borg. Your life as you have come to know it is over. Prepare yourself for assimilation.

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

[mobo85]

I don't get all this hate for the guy.

I mean, he's got a hilarious standup routine about kids. And I thought the bit part he had in UHF (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098546/) was pretty funny.

Ok, the pageboy haircut is a little disturbing, but I stopped having nightmares about that a long time ago.

Elmo Phillips? Isn't he that guy who sings Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer?

[Shirley Ujest]

I always wanted to see a Muppet rendition of Pride and Prejudice.


I just haven't worked out the casting in my head. Where would the Swedish Chef fit in to the scheme of it all?

[WhyNot]

Oh. Yay. Another expensive talking toy that will be the hit of the birthday party and lost under the bed forever three days later. It can join our storytelling Barney*, our Elmo Knows Your Name and our cartwheeling "Tigger Time" Tigger** as dustbunny collectors.

Really, why do people have children if they don't want to play with them, sing to them, tell them stories, give them hugs and tell them they love them...all by themselves?



*Aside from being able to stand up, I don't see why this Elmo is so different from our Barney, who has light sensors in his eyes to play peek-a-boo, sings songs when you squeeze his toe and plays simple games when you squeeze his hand.

**Yes, all of these came from my mother-in-law, how did you guess?

[photopat]

Let's see, it's February...Christmas is a little over ten months away...if I buy a dozen of these things as soon as they're available I should be able to turn them around at 5 to 10 times original price as long as I do it right after Thanksgiving.

After Christmas I won't be able to give them away.

[John DiFool]

How long after this Youtube video do we get some other Youtube videos where the New Elmo is shotgunned, flamethrowered, firecrackered, folded, spindled, and mutilated?

[DrFidelius]

Elmo.

Now brought to you by Delos Corporation.

[Kizarvexius]

I always wanted to see a Muppet rendition of Pride and Prejudice.


I just haven't worked out the casting in my head. Where would the Swedish Chef fit in to the scheme of it all?


He would stand in nicely for Mr. Collins. All he'd have to do is say "de Bourgh, de Bourgh, bork bork bork", and the meaning would be pretty clear.

[Ceejaytee]

And I'll be hearing that in my sleep, because my two littlest ones adore Elmo. I was so grateful when the batteries in the oldest Elmo went dead, but those damn batteries seem to last forever.

They have Tickle Me Elmo, Let's Pretend Elmo, Chicken Dance Elmo, and some weird Village People type of Elmo that sings to the tune of "Y.M.C.A." Oh, and the Hokey-Pokey Elmo, and the potty-training Elmo, and probably half a dozen others that I've hidden.

Guess what they're going to want this year... :(

You see, this is why I only let my kids play with Elmo toys at the store. They can press his little red fuzzy hand and listen to YMCA over and over at Toys r Us, and then we go home to an Elmo-free existence. I feel sorry for toy store employees, but I love all those "Try Me" buttons so many toys have today. I let them press whatever they want, and then we go home with only the memories.

[WhyNot]

Elmo.

Now brought to you by Delos Corporation.
I was thinking Cybertronic. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_Intelligence:_A.I.) Too on-the-nose?

[Otto]

This Elmo can talk, sing, sit down, cross his legs, tell stories and jokes, and other things in a very lifelike manner.
All well and good, but does he still masturbate like a motherfuck?

[Nutty Bunny]

I'm so glad I don't have to buy this for my daughter next Christmas. We bought her TMX Elmo when she was 9 months old. While my husband and I were giggling like kids, she was terrified of it. Every few months, we bring it out to see if she's over her fear.

She's almost 2 years old and she still hates it. So that was a waste of $40.00.

This new Elmo would cause night terrors, I'm afraid.

[DrFidelius]

I was thinking Cybertronic. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_Intelligence:_A.I.) Too on-the-nose?

More that I'm showing my age and couldn't come up with an evil robot meme less than 35 years old. Although if they start advertising that "Elmo-toys Last All Summer Long" I'm joining Farnham in his freehold...

[Terrifel]

Hmm... I wonder what that huge pneumatic cable hooks up to?

Why the good god damn do they insist on applying this technology to the absolute worst Muppet EVER?! Why not a talking, singing, banjo-strumming Kermit? What about an audio-animatronic Rolf the Dog who can mime out piano-playing gestures on any suitable horizontal surface? A toy that actually encourages your child to play instruments, instead of merely teaching them to shriek annoyingly for attention?

How about a Miss Piggy doll that teaches kids judo? Or a robotic Lou Zealand that teaches fish-throwing skills? The list of possibilities is endless. Even an android Telly Monster who's too neurotic to come out of the box would be preferable-- because he wouldn't come out of the box.

When am I going to be able to purchase a Sam the American Eagle doll, who can sit on my desk and stiffly inform everyone who enters the room: "You. Are. All. WEIRDOS!"

[Shirley Ujest]

He would stand in nicely for Mr. Collins. All he'd have to do is say "de Bourgh, de Bourgh, bork bork bork", and the meaning would be pretty clear.



Awesome! I bow to your greatness! bork bork bork!

[MacTech]

Hmm... I wonder what that huge pneumatic cable hooks up to?

Why the good god damn do they insist on applying this technology to the absolute worst Muppet EVER?! Why not a talking, singing, banjo-strumming Kermit? What about an audio-animatronic Rolf the Dog who can mime out piano-playing gestures on any suitable horizontal surface? A toy that actually encourages your child to play instruments, instead of merely teaching them to shriek annoyingly for attention?

How about a Miss Piggy doll that teaches kids judo? Or a robotic Lou Zealand that teaches fish-throwing skills? The list of possibilities is endless. Even an android Telly Monster who's too neurotic to come out of the box would be preferable-- because he wouldn't come out of the box.

When am I going to be able to purchase a Sam the American Eagle doll, who can sit on my desk and stiffly inform everyone who enters the room: "You. Are. All. WEIRDOS!"

Why not go for some other classic Muppet animatronic dolls;
Animal; teaches kids to play the drums, yell incoherently and ballroom dance....1,2,3 DIP!!!
Doctor Bunsen Honeydew; teaches kids SCIENCE!
Beaker; teaches kids that being a sidekick is *bad*
the Yip-Yips; for the sheer annoyance factor
Sweetums; 'cause he's just cool
Swedish Chef; teaches kids how to cook, badly
Gorgon Heap; eats everything
Statler and Waldorf; heckle the other animatronic dolls

[Sam Stone]

I want an animatronic Mighty Favog (http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/The_Mighty_Favog). He could say sarcastic things about me. An animatronic Scred would be okay, too.

I must say, that Elmo is going to sell like hotcakes. My daughter would have adored this when she was three.

[WhyNot]

I would TOTALLY buy a Sweetums doll.

[Maastricht]

This Elmo just looks like a slightly more elaborate version of the Singing Bass (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znd0tIKjsPU&feature=related) to me.

[MacTech]

How about an animatronic Uncle Deadly (http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Uncle_Deadly)?

[Cluricaun]

One one hand that is pretty damned cool for a toy. OTOH, please god tell me someone is stealing that source code and making them evil.

[Hypno-Toad]

One one hand that is pretty damned cool for a toy. OTOH, please god tell me someone is stealing that source code and making them evil.
you want evil? Try this. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=456995)

[Don Draper]

The Muppets were created by man.
They evolved.
They rebelled.
There are many copies.
And they have a plan."

Number Three (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/thumb/a/ac/Janice2.jpg/300px-Janice2.jpg)
Number Six (http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/152/8154_MSPIG~The-Muppet-Show-Miss-Piggy-Posters.jpg)

[Bootis]

they're hyping this as advanced technology and they can't even make it run on batteries?

[Hypno-Toad]

It won't be such a problem with the upcoming Elmo Hybrid .

[SkipMagic]

I prefer Elmo dead to Elmo live.
According to this (http://www2.tbo.com/content/2008/feb/21/toddlers-elmo-doll-makes-death-threats/), Elmo prefers to see the kid dead.
Instead of singing songs or reciting the favorite color of its 2-year-old owner, James Bowman, the doll started making death threats, the family says.

With a squeeze of its fuzzy belly, the Sesame Street character now says, in a sing-song voice, "Kill James."