Ugh reassure me

[Litoris]

So, my daughter left for San Diego this morning. She is 15, and hasn't traveled alone since she was 7 years old (her last flight was exactly 1 month prior to 9/11). Her flight was delayed and since her idiotic biological father booked it, she is going to miss her connecting flight in Houston. I caught it before they left the gate, and the nice check-in guy (what are they called?) re-booked her on a flight leaving 2 hours later from Houston to San Diego. Since she was already on the plane, I couldn't tell her the changes, so that makes me nervous, but the guy went on the flight, told her the change and where to go -- he said she looked "perplexed" but said she understood. Her flight landed in Houston about 10 minutes ago, and I am eagerly awaiting a call from her. Ugh. She's a smart, put-together kid who is usually more adept at taking care of herself than people twice her age, I just don't want her to have to stress, and I will be stressed until I hear from her and know she is ok. So, just reassure me that she is, ok?

[pbbth]

Of course she is okay! :)

[An Arky]

I'm sure the airline folks will assist her in making the connection. It's one thing they generally do well.

[Anne Neville]

She'll be OK.

She's probably taking the time to use a real bathroom and maybe get some food and something to drink before she goes to the gate for her departing flight.

[Litoris]

Thanks, everyone. I know her connecting flight is halfway across Houston (ok, not really, but it sure seems that way -- it's a HUGE airport!!), so it will take her a while to get to her new gate. If I haven't heard from her before the flight is scheduled to leave, I will be calling the airport directly. Ugh. I really regret not sending her with a pay-as-you-go phone. She declined use of one, so we didn't get it.

[WhyNot]

Yes, of course she's okay! She's a big girl, she can handle it. It's probably actually easier on her with a little time between flights; I hate racing from one gate to the next for tight connections. This way, she can use a real bathroom and stretch her legs browsing the dustables shop before she has to get on another plane.

[lieu]

Intercontinental and Hobby are both what I'd consider safe, friendly airports. I'm no where near either but am a local call if she gets in a bind. I PM'd you my work number if I can be of help in any way. She's going to be just fine though.

[Litoris]

Thanks, everyone! She just called, she is good to go. Someone on the flight was also heading on the same connecting flight, so he let her use his cell phone, she is almost to her new gate and already has her ticket for the new flight, YAY! Still trying to get hold of her father, but I figure the worst case scenario, the dumbshit shows up at San Diego airport 2 hours early, right?

[scout1222]

Heh - from your wording, it sounds like you should be more worried about her time here with her dad. ;)

[Litoris]

Heh - from your wording, it sounds like you should be more worried about her time here with her dad. ;)
Meh, once he gets her, he is an ok guy -- just has never actually been a "dad." We left him when she was 2, and although she has spent time with him since, the last time was in 2001. She's way smarter than he is, so she will be ok, no matter how stupid he may be. ;) I feel so much better having spoken to her, being reassured that she is fine, knows where she is going and when. She rocks.

[beanpod]

She'll be fine! (Ok, I realize this is a little late, but...well, I'm still telling my reassuring story. So there. Besides, there's always the flight home to worry about. Where she will be fine!)

I traveled alone on Amtrak at 17 to visit my university open house. Talk about skeeviness and uncertain schedules. I was due to arrive at 7:00 am. It was delayed until 11:00 am. I got to campus and was rushed into a planned activity by 12:00.

I managed to call my mother at 2:00. After she'd killed me, I explored and made friends, figured out how to work the phone in my room, and managed to make my way home again. I think traveling alone, even between family, is great for teenagers. I hope to kick out my theoretical kids for a short trip like that around that age as well.

[Dung Beetle]

I feel for you, Litoris. My daughter is sixteen and is currently on a school trip to the Big Apple with a teacher and a bunch of classmates. She called us the first night saying she didn't feel well, and my mom totally freaked out. How could we have sent this poor little girl off to the big city with no one who loved her??? (I didn't say it because I didn't think of it till much later, but obviously I should have told Mom, "Hey, if she can make it there, she'll make it anywhere!") Alex called again later feeling better, but personally, I've been good for nothing this week. Even more so than usual.

I'm impressed by your daughter's skillz! I'm thirty-seven and I wouldn't know what to do traveling alone.

[Litoris]

She'll be fine! (Ok, I realize this is a little late, but...well, I'm still telling my reassuring story. So there. Besides, there's always the flight home to worry about. Where she will be fine!)

I traveled alone on Amtrak at 17 to visit my university open house. Talk about skeeviness and uncertain schedules. I was due to arrive at 7:00 am. It was delayed until 11:00 am. I got to campus and was rushed into a planned activity by 12:00.

I managed to call my mother at 2:00. After she'd killed me, I explored and made friends, figured out how to work the phone in my room, and managed to make my way home again. I think traveling alone, even between family, is great for teenagers. I hope to kick out my theoretical kids for a short trip like that around that age as well.
Thanks for the story. She is still only half-way there, so I will continue to be reassured :) Funny enough, she is so much like I am that I should never have been concerned. When we had to go to IN to pick up a car, the car broke down halfway home. She and I had a grand adventure running around (on foot, near the garage to which we'd had the car towed). She takes things like this in stride. For my own story -- when I was 18, I traveled from TN to WA on the Greyhound. I met all kinds of neat people and was never molested or whatever. She is my daughter, I know she will be fine, but hey, I am going to indulge in a little "poor me" today, anyway!

ETA -- dungbeetle your daughter will be fine, too! I am always impressed with my daughter. She is planning on a career in law, and honestly I feel sorry for anyone who has to go up against her in court when she gets that degree! Once she has set her mind, she can be scary awesome! Oh, and don'tcha just HATE finding the perfect comeback after the fact?

[Dung Beetle]

Oh, and don'tcha just HATE finding the perfect comeback after the fact?
So much that I called Mom and told her anyway. Wasn't the same, though. :)

[Anne Neville]

I feel for you, Litoris. My daughter is sixteen and is currently on a school trip to the Big Apple with a teacher and a bunch of classmates. She called us the first night saying she didn't feel well, and my mom totally freaked out. How could we have sent this poor little girl off to the big city with no one who loved her???

How would we have any interesting stories to tell each other if stuff like that never happened? My sister survived the 96/97 Death Flu on a class trip to Florence (the one in Italy). I have managed to get at least a bad cold on three continents so far in my life (North America, Europe, and Australia). She'll survive. It's not like they don't have doctors and hospitals there if she needed one, not that she will of course. And they speak English (well, sort of- I can't always get through the accent), so she won't have to use a dictionary to figure out how to ask for Tylenol in a drug store.

[Dung Beetle]

Yeah, I know she'll be okay, but she's not "together" like Litoris' girl. She's all shy and sheltered and awkward…but that's part of the reason I really wanted her to take this trip. It's a challenge, but I think she can rise to it.

[Litoris]

Ok, I just spoke to Continental. Her flight was delayed, but they have assured me that she is on the plane. She would have called me if she somehow managed to miss it. Now, I just have to wait 3 unbearably long hours to hear from her on touchdown in San Diego. Her father has called in the meantime, idiot left his phone in the car to charge, so just now got the bazillion messages. He is on the right page, though and now knows that he can (and should!) meet her at the gate instead of baggage claim. **He thought that due to the increased security measures, he wouldn't be able to do that, even though she's a minor. Like I said, he's a moron!** So, I feel better for now. Will feel even much better (how's that for an awkward turn of a phrase?) when she calls me from California!

[Anne Neville]

Yeah, I know she'll be okay, but she's not "together" like Litoris' girl.

Neither was I. Neither am I, for that matter. My mom is a very "together" person, and I'm sure she did (and possibly still does) worry.

She's all shy and sheltered and awkward

So was I. I managed to learn the stuff I needed to know, even though I was really shy, sheltered, and awkward. I managed to grow up, get through college, become a productive member of society, and travel to four different continents. She'll be OK, and I don't just mean on this trip.

[Autolycus]

Don't worry she will be fine! Air travel is incredibly safe, except of course when there's gremlins on the wing.

[eleanorigby]

I'm sure the airline folks will assist her in making the connection. It's one thing they generally do well.


YMMV and all that, but I haven't found the flight attendants to be all that attentive to my kids when they fly solo. True, they had each other, but still! The last time they used this service (for which I paid $50), the FA didn't even tell them her name or ask them if they needed anything. :rolleyes: Thank god my daughter is now 18 and #1 son is 16, so we can dispense with the FAs for #2 son (I'd never send him anywhere without one of us--he's 9).


I'm glad she's doing alright and I think she'll learn a lot from the this trip. I think it's good for teens to travel a bit.

[Litoris]

The thing is that my daughter has a bit of social anxiety, but once she pushes through it, she is amazing at getting done what needs doing. Thanks for all the reassurances. Currently, she should be in flight almost past TX on her way to CA. Ya know what sucks? I work in a call center. There shouldn't be any concern about me ever missing a phone call, right? Wrong. Our Televantage server shit out on us about 30 minutes ago, so we're in the dark. Fortunately, I have my cell with me, so if anything needs to be communicated, I have that. Ugh.

eleanorigby, I have had different experiences with different airlines. She has flown unaccompanied previously and had great help, but that was Southwest, AA and United. She's never flown Continental before, but they seem to be doing really well so far. They had her replacement ticket waiting for her when she got off the plane in Houston, she said.

I can't help but worry. The kid is a tall, leggy blonde. She will be fine, but I'm still going to take my maternal right to worry.

Dung Beetle -- your daughter will be ok in the long run. People who have only known me as an adult are in absolute shock when they hear stories about my childhood/early adolescence. Seriously, I was one shy, introverted non-speaker. I only started "coming into my own" around age 17 and didn't fully reach my ability to just be confident until well into my 20's. Letting her do this trip will help boost her self-confidence, and (being an Air Force brat) I think travel is always good for kids. Helps them learn to adapt. Look at what my DD is dealing with today!

[Anne Neville]

The thing is that my daughter has a bit of social anxiety

So do I. I manage to get done what I need to get done. She will too.

[Litoris]

Ok, YAY! She is in San Diego and hanging out with her father, who promised to take her for some fresh sushi. Such a relief to hear from her, I think I need to hit the hay. Love you all for the wonderful reassurances. Oh, yeh, did I mention she was totally non-plussed and wanted to tell me about the really cute couple that sat next to her on the plane and how she couldn't figure out which one she'd rather flirt with? Yep, she's mine!

[Dung Beetle]

Ok, YAY! She is in San Diego *snip*
We knew she'd be fine. :) Good girl!

[A Priori Tea]

Ok, YAY! She is in San Diego and hanging out with her father, who promised to take her for some fresh sushi. Such a relief to hear from her, I think I need to hit the hay. Love you all for the wonderful reassurances. Oh, yeh, did I mention she was totally non-plussed and wanted to tell me about the really cute couple that sat next to her on the plane and how she couldn't figure out which one she'd rather flirt with? Yep, she's mine!


I'm glad to hear she's okay! Hopefully she won't catch The Dumb from her dad while she's there, and will be able to handle the return trip with as much aplomb. :)

And remember: when in doubt, the answer is always "Both of them, duh!" :D

[bbs2k]

Don't worry she will be fine! Air travel is incredibly safe, except of course when there's gremlins on the wing.Or snakes. We can't forget the snakes.

Ever.

[Litoris]

And remember: when in doubt, the answer is always "Both of them, duh!" :D

My response was "wait, you had to think about it?" She flirts with everyone. Hell, before we left for the airport, I took her to $tarbucks for coffee and she made all of the baristas hug her!

As for gremlins and snakes, she'd have them domesticated and put away before anyone else noticed them, the kid is Nature Girl (tm).

[Mama Tiger]

Back before cell phones were around and she was 13, whiterabbit was traveling alone from my sister's in Seattle to our home in Austin. She had to change flights in Dallas; needless to say, I had arranged with the airline to escort her from gate to gate, since the DFW airport is big.

I learned to my horror when she got home that when she got off the plane, she cheerfully assured the attendant that she would be just fine, and took off on her own! Made her connection just fine, but she about gave me total heart failure when I learned about it, needless to say. 13 is more than a bit young to be wandering around the DFW airport by yourself!

Kids handle these things a lot better than parents, I suspect.

[Missy2U]

So my son was going to see Grandma in Arizona by himself the summer of 2002. He had just turned 12. He arrived at Sky Harbor where he was supposed to be met by my Godparents who live in Phoenix. He was supposed to be met AT THE GATE. Which, after 9-11, they didn't let you DO ANYMORE WHICH NO ONE TOLD US (he was flying as an unaccompanied minor or some such so SOMEONE was supposed to be looking out for him!) I get a phone call on my cell from the airlines saying they don't know what to do with my son. You have never seen someone melt down the way I did.

That was a really, really bad day.

[Litoris]

Interestingly enough, while I was reassured at BNA (Nashville airport) that her father would be given a security pass to meet her at the gate, when he arrived at the San Diego airport they told him no way, no how, not gonna happen. Fortunately, they did at least get the drift that she was a minor traveling alone and told him to stay at the ticket counter and they would escort her to him. She arrived happy and eager to eat fresh sushi.

I am hoping there will be no problem when she comes home with my husband meeting her at the gate, although I suspect that since he will be going to the airport right after work, and will still be in uniform, that all will be fine. He is currently working on ADSW for the Nat'l Guard HQ in Nashville. If there is a problem, she's been to BNA enough that she can easily find her way to baggage claim or wherever else we might arrange for them to meet. Besides, BNA is fairly small as airports go.

[Lakai]

This reminds me of a nine year old kid I had to escort from Belarus (where he was visiting his Grandma) to New York City. A flight change was required in Germany.

The kid had a brigade of grandmothers (or bobushkas) around him at all time. About three were with him for the hand off in Belarus. All his documents were arranged neatly in a pouch which hung around his neck. Then he was met by his mom and another woman at the airport in NYC.

There must be some primal overprotection switch that gets triggered in moms when children are sent on flights. I would not be the least bit surprised if I later learn that the bobushkas were packing automatic weapons.

[lizardling]

To provide the kid perspective: I used to shuttle between DFW and STL as a seven year old all the way through to age twelve when I attended a boarding school for the deaf. This meant racking up a lot of frequent flyer miles before I was anywhere near Litoris's daughter's age.

This was all back in the eighties so my parents would usually escort me to the gate, and then the housemother would pick me up at the gate on the other side. Always a nonstop flight, so it wasn't very exciting.

The first few times I flew, my parents had the airline file me as an unaccompanied minor with the pouch and everything. But after that I think they got reassured that I wouldn't be snatched or anything because I never had to wear it again, except for one incident when someone insisted on the unaccompanied minor pouch on one flight at... uh, about age eleven or so, I think. I was pretty much :dubious: but humored the nice ticket desk lady and wore it to the gate. Then I took it off because I felt silly with it on. :D

I'm glad your daughter made it okay, Litoris!

[nashiitashii]

She'll be fine! (Ok, I realize this is a little late, but...well, I'm still telling my reassuring story. So there. Besides, there's always the flight home to worry about. Where she will be fine!)

I traveled alone on Amtrak at 17 to visit my university open house. Talk about skeeviness and uncertain schedules. I was due to arrive at 7:00 am. It was delayed until 11:00 am. I got to campus and was rushed into a planned activity by 12:00.

I managed to call my mother at 2:00. After she'd killed me, I explored and made friends, figured out how to work the phone in my room, and managed to make my way home again. I think traveling alone, even between family, is great for teenagers. I hope to kick out my theoretical kids for a short trip like that around that age as well.
I'm really late, but I'll share a couple of my "traveling alone" stories.

Flew to Iceland by myself when I was 11. Had a connection in Baltimore to catch across the other side of the airport; no problems whatsoever. Most kids can handle this if they've flown before within the past few years, and the flight attendants normally make sure that kids younger than 15 or so are okay.

I took regular Greyhound trips during the first two years of college, and that's at least as skeevy as Amtrak, if not worse. The worst I had to deal with was spending 2am-5:45am in a Greyhound station in the middle of the ghetto in Ft. Lauderdale and surrounded by the skeevy types.

[velvetjones]

Dear Litoris,

Be prepared. This is just the first little step toward adulthood and independance. My daughter, now 21, is living in San Jose (I live in Central Florida). It's strange not to talk to her every day. It's strange not to know her friends, roommates or co-workers. It's strange not to know about her life (well I do know but it's not the same as living together). But I got used to it. You will too.

BTW, Whey my daughter was 14 I sent het to Tokyo to visit my sister. She had a wonderful time but I was a nervous wreck while she was in transit. She ended up entertaining several smaller children on the 15 hour trip and their parents were very grateful.

Good luck to you and your daughter. I hope she has a wonderful visit with her dad.

[Arabella Flynn]

I'm glad your kid's safe and sound, Litoris! An unaccompanied minor in an airport is probably in better shape than your average businessman, really. There are signs and uniformed staff everywhere, and the airline has a vested interest in getting the unaccompanied minor where s/he has to go, because if they don't, the Concerned Parent(s) will call the counter and have eight different kind of emotional freak-outs at the poor person who is trying to check IDs and baggage at the same time. When was the last time your boss did that?

I second nashiitashii about bus rides, though. I'm at a college about 150 miles away from my folks. Too long a trip for them to drive up and get me, and too short to fly home, even if we felt like coughing up the absurdly high ticket price. (As it happens, if you've ever seen the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" special on TV, Ron White does his "how about that [local dinky airport]?" bit on it. "Flagstaff Airport, Hair Care and Tire Center," is disturbingly accurate, although he forgot the rather sad-looking weather station.) It only took me a few bus trips to learn to snag a window seat and then hail the first student-y female that walked down the aisle, lest I spend 2.5 hours sitting next to some drunk on his way from Las Vegas to Tuscon instead.