SDMB as a dating service

[Contestant #3]

Am I the only one out here that sees too many posts that contain aggressive flirting, descriptions of sexual prowess, offers of sexual trysts, etc.?

There are many online dating services, sex-related chat rooms and message boards out there if that's what you want to do. Heck, you could even email your flirts and propositions to each other as to keep them private and off these boards!

Geesh! Get a room!

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Contestant #3

[Lioness]

Geez, Contestant # 3, I have been lurking here for a while and haven't seen anyone proposition you. Whats the matter jealous ?


I wouldn't mind getting my hands on that yummy CheifScott myself. But alas, he is spoken for. ::::sigh:::

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Lioness]

ooops, ChiefScott, I got so excited I couldn't type his name.

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Contestant #3]

Nah, not jealous. I'm happily married for 19 years now. Besides, I have had my share of flirts directed my way out here...I just ignore them. How could one get excited over being flirted with or propositioned by someone you've never seen or met in person? You wanna explain that one?

Besides, if I WAS looking for flirting and propositions, there are PLENTY of chat room and message boards aimed at sex and dating on the internet. Hence my suggestion. If you are hard up for that kind of stuff go there please.

Loser.

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Contestant #3

[Lioness]

Well,what can I say execpt, "bite me."

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Contestant #3]

You could answer the simple question that I asked you...

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Contestant #3

[Lioness]

Alrighty then,
The answer is really quite simple, (like you) you can get turned on by someones mind, ya jerk. Get real guy, this IS the pit, if you didn't want a smart-assed answer why didn't you post this elsewhere ?

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Satan]

C#3:

Since one of the most infamous Cecil questions & answers (and a subsequent genius retort) was about the calorie content of sperm, methinks that TSD is not inappropriate for discussion about sexual proclivities.

And while some people (myself included, possibly) might go overboard with releasing personal details, one can also look at it as observational science.

That said, I do think (the odd-one-liner aside) that most of the sexual discussions are of a most clinical nature.

As evidence - I have yet to get aroused reading anything on the SDMB. And since I jerk off at least three times a day with a Barbie doll...

Oops...

------------------
Yer pal,
Satan

[WallyM7]

Lioness:

Hot Damn! I love a woman with an attitude! You are a Goddess! I will build a temple in my mind, devoted only to you, though I am unworthy to even touch a pebble that you carelessly kick aside. A temple to rival the Taj Mahal. I will place you on a pedastal so high that no mortal.....

Oh,shit. This is the Flame Pit, right? Sorry.

C#3, you're such a klutz.


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You are unique - Just like everyone else.

[moriah]

C#3,

Are you coming on to me?

[Contestant #3]

Maybe this calls for the formation of another SDMB forum. Create a forum for the express purpose of discussing your sex life, aggresive flirting, offering sex, tit flash talk, etc.

Call it Lonely Hearts

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Contestant #3

[Czarcasm]

Good ol' C3. Spends weeks complaining about the rules on the board, then complains when we don't follow the Board's format as he sees it.
BTW Connie, you have my permission to use any or all of the above for the purpose of quotation. Just to keep things legal. :).

[ChiefScott]

Yummy?

I thought I got all the whipped cream off when I showered this morning. Though a tongue bath from a lioness does *raise* some possiblities!!!!

May I call you Elsa?

[UncleBeer]

Ya know C#3, if this stuff offends you, you can just stop reading it. Nobody is forcing it down your throat. But I guess I haven't answered your question either. So I will.

NO!

Who's the lurking Lioness? You have to admire someone who is willing to jump right in and take on C#3. Go get him Elsa.

------------------
One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

[kellibelli]

Remember the Sienfeld episode where Elaine was meeting Bizarro Jerry and stuff, and all was backward?

This is Bizarro Kelli, agreeing with Satan, again (my fingers hurt to type it!) I have made nice with Diane, a bunch of times, I have disagreesd with C#3,agreed with Lynn and the most Bizare of all, disagreed with Scotty(but we are ok now I think ;) )

Would everyone please, PLEASE go back to your designated positions!

I am really getting messed up..(twitch) cant tell who is who...(twitch)...birds..birds...(twitch)

[ChiefScott]

Shethrustsherfistsagainstthepostsandstillinsistssheseestheghosts.

[Lioness]

The Lioness awakens,gracefuly lifts her head, blinking her amber flecked eyes.
She has spent the very late evening hours
indulging herself having a game of swat the fly with C. #3.
She roars "Don't call me Elsa, damn-it, call me She Who Must Obeyed".
That being said, she procedes to offer to get that last little spot of whipped cream off of ChiefScott's __________, as WallyM7 gazes upon her loveliness. And the most astute UncleBeer, nods approvingly.
Sorry, what do you want from someone who was up all night? Perfection ?


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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Ukulele Ike]

Wow! All hail Ayesha!

------------------
Uke

[BunnyGirl]

C#3, I think most of these types of posts have been in MPSIMS. That seems to be an appropriate spot. I haven't seen anything in GQ, GD, etc. Were you speaking of a specific instance? Or just complaining?

[Lioness]

ah CRAP, I mean
"call me , She Who Must BE Obeyed" . That damn pesky fly is buzzing around, distracting me again.

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Donj]

Contestant #3,

It seems your little complaint regarding using sdmb as a dating service has created its own little sex/flirting/forum. Was this an intentional Jedi reverse psychology mind trick to get yourself off? Cause if it was it worked...congrats.

Donj

[UncleBeer]

Never will the name E**a pass these lips (well, fingers) again, oh She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Take that C#3.


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One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

[UncleBeer]

Okay, dammit I gotta learn to type faster. That last post is definitely an anti-climax now.



------------------
One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

[Contestant #3]

Donj writes:

"It seems your little complaint regarding using sdmb as a dating service has created its own little sex/flirting/forum. Was this an intentional Jedi reverse psychology mind trick to get yourself off?"

Oh yeah...(rolls eyes)...that's it...I'm sitting here pounding the pud 'cause all this hot loser chat...

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Contestant #3

[Satan]

ChiefScott:

Well, she hasn't posted here in quite some time, so she musta rubbed off (hee hee) on the rest of us.

[ChiefScott]

Exact-a-mundo!!

A little lovin' goes a long way.

[tracer]

C#3 is right. All these flirtatious descriptions of our sexual proclivities must stop.

Oh, and I've got a six-inch schlong, ladies.

[Byzantine]

WallyM7 seems to pass his affections around rather easily. He was worshiping me in another thread and now has moved on, the slut! ;)

C#3 you ARE jealous! I've never seen ANYONE flirt with you! What's wrong with a little fun? Christ in a side-car! Why don't you just tell us what's okay, what's not and we will all bow down before you. Yeah, right about the same time anyone out here votes for Danny boy!

Oh, wait, I get it... you need some loving, don't you, sugar. Well come here honey, put your head on my shoulder and let me show you the glory of God with my bare hands...

Kisses all around!

[Ukulele Ike]

Stop it, Byzzy, or we'll hear about the marriage of 18 years again.

[Ukulele Ike]

19. Sorry, C3.

[Lioness]

What, WallyM7 !!!! You have been worshiping at the temple of another Godess, why you unfaithful little tramp. I outta.... nah C #3
might get off if I did that here. Now get your little self over here and grovel properly, I may yet forgive you your infidelity.

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Czarcasm]

You mean that all I had to do was be an inconsistant ass to get everyone to flirt with me?
Dammit! Will someone post the rules of the game here, 'cause I got a defective copy. :).

[Lioness]

Now Slythe dear,
Even a Lioness can only flirt with so many men at once, before she gets a reputation as a "loose Kitty".
I'll get to you as soon as possible.
Kiss,Kiss.

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Byzantine]

Back off bitch, he's mine! :)

Wow, we could have some REAL fun now! Come on kitty kitty, let's give C#3 what he's REALLY looking for; two chicks fighting over one guy! Oh, wait, I guess he would want us to fight over him; you can have him. No, no, I insist! C#3 is ALL yours!

Kisses all around!

[Lynn Bodoni]

{{This is Bizarro Kelli, agreeing with Satan, again (my fingers hurt to type it!) I have made nice with Diane, a bunch of times, I have disagreesd with C#3,agreed with Lynn and the most Bizare of all, disagreed with Scotty(but we are ok now I think )

Would everyone please, PLEASE go back to your designated positions!

I am really getting messed up..(twitch) cant tell who is who...(twitch)...birds..birds...(twitch)}}

Programs, programs! Can't tell the players without a program! No checks or cards, just currency or chocolate, if you please....


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Lynn the Packrat

[Lioness]

Byzantine,
No, I insist that YOU take C # 3, you have been here longer. He likes you more, and lets face it, he's most likely a limp duck ;).
So I have to gracefully decline your very generous offer to let me have him. (What the hell did I do to you anyway). As much as it hurts to forgo the joy and pleasure of his company.
::::::sigh::::::: , weeping and gnashing teeth. Oh the pain , the pain

ok C. #3, let go of your pud before you go blind.


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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[andros]

Con#3 . . . I don't have a problem with flirting/dating, as long at it stays in MPSIMS. When it spills into the other forums where folks are having a serious discussion or debate, I get a little annoyed. As long as it remains in the Mundane Pointless realm, I know I can avoid it.

-andros-

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There's always a bigger fish.

[kellibelli]

Well, you are still here. :D


( I picture C#3 stomping and swearing in frustration)

[ChiefScott]

C#3 --
Hey it happens sometimes dude (though more often lately, I'll give ya). Nothing to get bent out of shape over.

So there's a little non-confrontational, buddy-buddy, high-fivin', "that's a good post"ing, wink-winking, nudge-nudging, cybertit-flashing, touchy-feely, orgasm-counting, nipple-caressing, earlobe-nibbling, counter-thrusting, best-sexing, multiple-positioning flirting going on?

Well... maybe that would bend you a tad out of shape.

Let's just chalk it up as "The heatherlee Effect".

[Byzantine]

Lioness– you are really scaring me! You sound (type) a lot like me so hey, I like you already! I'm nothing in not narcissistic!

How about we give him to.... hummmm... Brithael? Nah, too weird. Ummmm Kellibelli, do you want him? Or should we let Heatherlee have a go at him?

[Czarcasm]

Damn, C#3, it must be nice to finally have women fighting over you! ;).

[Lioness]

Byzantine,
Mahaaahaaahaaa, between the two of us we can rule the world, I'll take the part without C #3, thank you very much.


Slythe,
When you learn to grovel at our feet properly, why we will fight over you too.

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[Byzantine]

Lioness– I agree, let's just leave him to his wife who MUST love him very much to put up with him! Wanna see what a bastard he is? Check out the "Does she even know his name?" thread in MPSIMS. Wow, my being a bitch doesn't hold a candle to him being a total fuck-knock at times!

slythe– yeah, but I wonder, does he realize we are fighting over who gets stuck with him, not who wants him? And yes, I agree with Lioness; grovel, sugar, lick my boot you worthless worm! Kneel at my alter (see the "Genital naming – what's the deal?" thread in MPSIMS for what this REALLY means!)

Okay, I really should go to bed now.... too bad it's by myself. Well, me and my dog. Hey, don't go there; I love my dog but I don't LOVE my dog, know what I mean? :)

[WallyM7]

Lioness, I can explain everything.

Someone broke into my house, found my password and hit on Byz.

Why? To come between us, of course. To break us apart.

Don't let him!

Dominate me! Castigate me! Make me suffer, but don't leave me!



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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes-but doesn't

[WallyM7]

Byzantine, my love, the whole thing is a mistake. A misunderstanding. Like in those movies, mistaken identities and all that stuff.

You know I only have eyes for you.

You are the Queen of this board.

Come back to me. I'll do the dishes, I'll scrub the floors.



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A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes-but doesn't

[Lioness]

Wally,
That's it for you buddy. I was going to tell you to eat me, but after I saw you sucking up to Byz. again, well ,you can just forget it.


You have now officially earned my flaming wrath. Maaaaahaahaaahaaahaa, you shall regret the day you trifled with the Lioness' affections.



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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[WallyM7]

Damn!


Kelli?

Where are you Kelli?

[Lioness]

Wally,
Oh, you are a cheap little tramp boy, aren't
you ? Just how many skirts have you been blowing smoke up ?

I told you not to blow by the way. Licking is allowed, a bit of nibbling is great, but blowing smoke just isn't any fun for the blowee.

Now, get back over here and grovel. If you do it properly, I may allow you to marry me and give birth to my children.

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[WallyM7]

Give birth to your children?

I'm a guy! We can't take the pain.

If men had to give birth, the species would go extinct.

Anyway, kitten, if you give me one more chance, I swear I'll never go whoring on this board again.

Would I lie to you? I'm a guy! We never lie.

Put a flea collar on me and I'll curl up beside you and never leave your side.

[Lioness]

"So you can't take the pain," she asked with an evil grin, as she cracks her whip.
"I will show you pain"

Geez Wally , I knew you were a guy, do you think I would give it up to a woman ? It's ok, we will have the embryo surgically implanted, and I am willing to allow you to have a c-section. I am not turned off by scars, not when I helped put them on you.

We can always put the resulting life-form in a cage, untill we can assertain whether it will walk, crawl, or fly.

After all, you grovel so well. ;). Now I wonder if we have pissed C.#3 off enough for the day ? What do you think ?

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[WallyM7]

C#3, I'm with the Lioness over here. Can you do us a favor and fuck off for a while?

Here's a few bucks, go to a movie or something.

Now, come over here, you frisky, funky, female feline.

Let Leo rub you the right way...

C#3, put that little toy back in your pants and take a hike.

Now, where were me, my little sex kitten?

Purr for me. Growl.

Oh oohh ooohh....

And they say there's no God!

[Sealemon88]

Wow...this thread is heating up nicely...it's putting me in the.....MOOD.

{turns down the lights....fires up the jacuezzi....puts on some Barry White}

YEAH BABY!!! Do I make you......randy? Yeeaah!

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[Czarcasm]

Grovel? I don't grovel!
I come to the door with Godiva chocolate truffles in hand, cook up a five course meal for you, do the dishes afterwards, pleasure you until you're "screaming on the ceiling", then change the sheets afterwards.
Groveling is for beginers.

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They call me MISTER Wizard!

[WallyM7]

Hah! Talk about beginners!

I hit a homer with a Mars Bar and a cheeseburger.

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The opposite of courage is not cowardice, but conformity

[Lioness]

Wally,
You are not only a slut, but a cheap slut !!!!

I banish you to the world of she-trolls (if there is such a thing).

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[WallyM7]

The Lioness stirs.

You would be the exception, thunderthighs.

After I bought a rainbow, I'd go out and buy you the stars.

------------------
If you're an optimist, you haven't been paying attention.

[WallyM7]

Thats:

After I bought you a rainbow, I'd go out and buy you the moon.

Stars come after, depending.

------------------
If you're an optimist, you haven't been paying attention.

[Satan]

Okay! I changed my mind!

C#3, you are right!! I give you a three day pass out of hell!

*getting nauseous*

[WallyM7]

Scram, kid, you're crowding me.

[Lioness]

Thunder thighs ?!?!?! Why you misbegotten, mewling little worm. I've got your thunderthighs right here bubba.

You shall never gaze upon my moon.

Grovel away oh boneless one, it will do you no good. To the land of she trolls with you !!!!

No, don't even bother to beg for mercy, here I spend my precious time allowing you to lick my boots and you have the temerity to adress me as thunderthighs.

Well then all I have to say to you is DON'T eat me !!!!

Now begone, your she-trolls await.


There satan, better ?

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Lioness,

I rule the King of the jungle

[WallyM7]

Sorry. Blond moment.

[Diane]

six-inch schlong

Shouldn't this have been posted in the oxy-C#3. . . . er uh. . . I mean oxymoron thread?

Anyway, kitten, if you give me one more chance, I swear I'll never go
whoring on this board again.

Huh? Give you one more chance? I don't think we've even been introduced yet.

Now, where were me, my little sex kitten?

Purr for me. Growl.

Oh oohh ooohh....

A-hem.

She's Lioness. I'm Kitten. You wanna hear some purrrrrring baby?

Stars come after, depending.

Does it really matter as long as *I* come? :)

****

It is all becoming clear. C#3 has been very interested in my sex life lately. He's been married for how many years? (PULEEEEZE don't tell us again) The poor, pathetic slob is sexually frustrated! HA HA HA HA !!!!!

The old man is obviously spanking the spider monkey as he fantasizes from the threads!

Eeeeewwwwww. . .. now that's a gruesome thought!

------------------
>^,,^<
KITTEN
Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

[WallyM7]

Damn! Gotta start paying more attention to the sigs.

A spelling class wouldn't hurt, either.

Sorry.

Diane, you are a Goddess. I will build a shrine to.....

Never mind. Everybody's got my number now.

Gonna change my name and come back as a UFO-watching, spell-casting, liberal-bashing, gun-toting, free-thinking, bible-preaching, born-again left wing radical Lesbian.

Maybe then, I'll get the attention and respect I deserve, dammit!

Love ya!

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If you're an optimist, you haven't been paying attention.

[OpalCat]

How could one get excited over being flirted with or propositioned by someone you've never seen or met in person? You wanna explain that one?

Um... who said we hadn't seen/met in person? I've met several of the people here.

------------------
>^,,^<
"Cluemobile? You've got a pickup..."
OpalCat's site: http://opalcat.com
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions (http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)

[tracer]

How is it possible to be a liberal AND a left-wing basher at the same time?

Easy. Masochism.

(Either that, or an interpretation of "bashing" that's more along the lines of "spanking the monkey".)

[Big Iron]

Er, Tracer, perhaps you are unaware that "liberal" and "left-wing radical" are two vwery different things, and that many (if not most) "left-wing radicals" hold liberals as much in contempt as they do conservatives. That was motre common back in the 60s, of course, when there were actually such things as "liberal jokes" (no, I don't mean Hubert Humphrey).

[WallyM7]

There's a simple explanation.

A lot of times I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

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If you're an optimist, you haven't been paying attention.

[UncleBeer]

Wally, I have to admit you have me perplexed now. You are going to come back as "liberal-bashing, left wing radical?" HOw is this possible?



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One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

[Moonshine]

C#3, look at what you started here; I hope your happy. Its like a damn Barbara Cartland novel in here.

[Danny]

Hey, how did I get sucked into this thread? I had better do some global searches!

Oh well, whether I am the one being called upon by the Almighty or not, if I am not troll before, I guess I will be troll now! I may as well grovel and maybe the Omnipotent will condescend to toss a morsel of the "glory of God" this way. Just think, such BYZANTINE contraptions that may be used on me: wow...my mind is already halfway there! And to think, I can finally use my tools on something other than cars and houses! At the very least I will cherish the slice of Kiss that dropped my way that had been showered upon all!

[tracer]

I just wanted to mention that, as I'm reading this thread right now, there are 69 messages in it. It just seemed so appropriate.

Of course, now that I've posted this, there are going to be 70 messages in this thread, which kinda destroys the romance -- but, hey, I figgered this moment in history had to be preserved.

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Visit the Internet Stellar Database at www.stellar-database.com (http://www.stellar-database.com)

[Danny]

You could always wait for 669, or 699, or hell, lets take everyone in this thread:

69696969696969
69696969696969
69696969696969

Is there a town right on the US/CANADIAN border? Kind of half US, half CANADA?

[Ayesha]

I like 77 myself. After all you get ate, ooops, eight more

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Ayesha - Lioness
_________________________
I'm out of my mind, but,
feel free to leave a message

[Danny]

Apparently there's plenty of room for all here!

[tracer]

Ever notice that 69 looks like a Yin-Yang symbol?

[sunbear]

Is this a great debate?Is this "about this board?" Should this be in MPSIMS where the people involved will read it?

Just questions, don't flame me.I won't be back to this thread.

[heatherlee]

well my thoughts on this is i think its totally wrong for people that are married or have serious relationships to flirt like I see some of these people doing. But your decision. I just choose to not be involved nor involved with anyone that does act this way. Also Cheif Scott or whatever your name is, I posted threads about questions, nothing to do with flirting even if they were sexual they were goofy general questions. I did it to get a rise outta people and thats exactly what I got. so you can take it any way you choose. personally I dont care.

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Love Always,
Heather Lee
XheatherleeX@aol.com

[La King]

Have we run out of stuff to talk about? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1058508#post1058508)

Originally posted by Krispy Original
I was a poster ahead of my time:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=4649

Don't let anyone tell you that this kind of stuff is a recent problem...

What goes around comes around, I guess:D
Maybe your thread can have one more day in the sun :confused:

[kellibelli]

Man this takes me back......

That Wally was such a nut. :)

[Alphagene]

There is really no reason to resurrect this thread. If you wanna link to it, that's swell, but resurrecting a thread just to point out how similar it is to a current one is just plain pointless.