Subtle Things to do to make Yourself More Likable

[Northern Thalia]

So, a week from Monday I have the first of what would be many interviews for my Dream Job.tm.*I wish I knew how to code.

Needless to say, that since it is THE JOB, chances are I will be blindingly nervous. So now, I'm trying to use all of the 'little tricks' that people do to appear intelligent, likable, and leave a good impression.

An example, is using a person's name in conversation after being introduced. People just like hearing their name, and it makes you seem to be attentive, engaged, etc. etc.

Does anyone else use any other psychology tricks that they'd care to impart?? If I do end up with the DREAM JOB, I will give credit where credit is due, perhaps with a pie. :D

[Boyo Jim]

I would talk about the job in the first person -- "What would be my duties?" rather than "what are the duties of the person in this position?"

I would research the company and know a few things about what they make or what they do, and ask some questions about their products that show you know more than the average joe.

Tell us something about the job -- it might help coming up with more ideas.

[Northern Thalia]

It's a Canadian federal government job, doing research. I've been reading about it all day today, specifically it's mandate and role. Which means it's all government-speak, meaning you have to suss through it in order to find the basic meaning. I'm fairly crossed-eyed by now. :p

I'm really just looking for tricks in order to convey personality, because I find it hard to be anything other than extremely formal, and professional to the point of rigid in interviews. I'm always afraid that I'll go TOO far, and say something TOO informal, so I always err on the side of caution. However, I really, REALLY want this job, and want to loosen up a bit for it.

[eleanorigby]

Make eye contact. Dress appropriately. Use your very best manners and courtesy. Smile like you mean it.
Try to be as personable as you can--connect with the interviewer in a positive way. Try for a light touch of humor, but avoid it all together is your sense of humor is at all dicey. Don't say a negative thing about your current job, previous jobs or anything at all. Mistakes are opportunities to make changes, not fuck ups, etc.

Good luck.

[askeptic]

Bathe regularly.

[Shagnasty]

For a male interviewer: I have no idea what you have in your pants but it looks a hell of a lot bigger that mine.

For a female interviewer: I bet you get hit on a lot.

[jaydotbeedot]

For a male interviewer: I have no idea what you have in your pants but it looks a hell of a lot bigger that mine.
If the interviewee were female, this would certainly spice up the conversation.

[8675309]

Receptionists and/or secretaries wield much more power than you may think. Treat them well.

People like to feel flattered, but not sucked up to, so you have to know how to walk that line.

I agree with the above "light touch of humor" comment.

[Chimera]

Think two words:

Bacon Tie

[Lama Pacos]

Be careful about the whole using-their-name-a-lot thing. It can read very differently depending on the relationship between the two people. From some people, to me, it feels like an attempt at establishing dominance.

[Boyo Jim]

Try to anticipate some of the specific skill sets they will ask you about, and bring them up first -- assuming you have those skills.

[Lamar Mundane]

Ask the interviewer for their business card. Send them a short thank you note afterwards (handwritten).

[Autolycus]

Be yourself, but be the likable parts ;)

[Ring]

The most important thing is to appear self confident and at ease with both yourself and your surroundings. The best way to accomplish this is to not want the job. Work on it. Convince yourself that you'd like the job, but it wouldn't bother you in the least not to get it. Believe me this can be done.

I was a general manager for a very large company and myself, my staff, and my human resources manager all agreed these two attributes were by far the most important.

(Unless of course the job was purely technical in nature with no possibility of future promotions)

[pbbth]

Be yourself. Also, DO NOT wear any kind of perfume, scented lotion, or the like.

[Gatopescado]

Be yourself, but be the likable parts ;)

Well, thats me, fucked!

[brujaja]

Okay, this might be a little weird, but it worked for me. I had to meet with a mediator whom I knew would be predisposed against me because of the other party's NPD charm. There was a lot at stake.

I googled the person's name, found out what they were into, and then found a way to mention the topic (in this case, a particular kind of sport) in a positive light during the interview.

Takes a little finesse. But, my own outcome I think was far better than it might have been. I was sure to send him a follow-up note thanking him for his time.

[Jaade]

Be careful about the whole using-their-name-a-lot thing. It can read very differently depending on the relationship between the two people. From some people, to me, it feels like an attempt at establishing dominance.

Seconding this - I've had people use my name so much in a conversation it really weirded me out. I talked to this woman on the phone the other day and it was "Jaade, thank you for your time", "I appreciate you calling me back, Jaade" and "Hold on, Jaade, let me get a pen". Using someone's name can be a good thing, if done judiciously. Over-using it is as bad as forgetting it altogether, IMO.

Good luck!

[Maastricht]

Be yourself. Also, DO NOT wear any kind of perfume, scented lotion, or the like.Seconded. I've seen some scientific quotes to back this up.
Dress like the people already working there, so the interviewers will subconsciously feel you "fit in". Perhaps you could scout the workfloor beforehand, to get a feel for how the people dress, interact, the level of formality, etc?

[as_u_wish]

I've been on a lot of interview panels in 30+ years in government. These ideas may work for you:

Make a list of the things you want to tell them about yourself. Bring it with you.

As you answer the questions that are asked, look for ways to bring up those things.

If there are some remaining, use the opportunity at the end of the interview to mention them.

If this is your ideal job, make notes on why and let the interviewers know this. Sometimes in a close situation, the candidate who best expresses why they want this particular job gets the nod.

Most candidates are very nervous. Sometimes it's best to just acknowledge it. I remember interviewing one candidate who was so nervous his hands were shaking and he dropped his pen. Instead of ignoring it, he said something like "Well, I guess it's pretty obvious I'm incredibly nervous. Please bear with me--I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself beause I really want this job. I expect half way through the first question I'll be more like my normal self." His candor put us (the interview panel) at ease and he ended up getting hired.

Good luck!

[Cardinal]

I hope this doesn't come up in your interview, but I find that people like it when you're honest and say "I'm sorry". In fact, I throw it in almost every opportunity. It sounds polite when it's insignificant and direct when it matters. The other one I throw in is "you're right", which can be used any time I agree even tangentially with someone.

[Mosier]

Go for the ego. Mention how excited you are to work in such a prestigious department. Mention how the office decorations work well. Mention how beautiful the children are in the photo on the desk. But be sly about it! People love having their ego stroked, but they HATE getting the feeling that their ego is being stroked. Don't overdo it, and stick with ego-strokes that are true. Find the things you like about the interviewer, the job, the office, and the workers, and get excited about them!

[EsotericEnigma]

If you're going to go with a strategy like using the person's name after first learning it, I would definitely consider using their last name (like Mr. Johnson) depending on the formality of the interview. I've always found someone using my name in casual conversation extremely awkward and it always sticks out like a sore thumb. At most, say it once during the interview and once right after in parting.

Use proper body language. Know what your posture projects to others (leaning forward as opposed to leaning backward). Make sure you know what your hands are doing, both when speaking and listening. Eye contact is an absolute must. Don't fidget, and I've always found that angling your head very slightly when listening is an endearing way to show interest. Make a concerted effort to think before speaking so you can avoid saying "um" and "uh."

I like the idea of a thank you note, but it could very easily be considered pandering. I interviewed for a job once and, while I did well, the manager told me I secured the position simply because I had called a couple days before to confirm that the interview was still on.

[Walloon]

1. Smile and look confident.
2. Remember people's names.
3. Ask for people's advice, and thank them for it.
4. Have a sense of humor.
5. Be a good listener too.

[Frylock]

Subtle thing I do to make myself more likable: Try to keep my mouth shut. :)*

An example, is using a person's name in conversation after being introduced. People just like hearing their name, and it makes you seem to be attentive, engaged, etc. etc.


Interesting. I hate it when people do this. It always make me feel like they're subtly attacking or asserting dominance or something. I'm paranoid, though.

-FrL-

*ETA: Oh, you meant specifically for job interviews? There I got nothin.

[BACI]

Have the confidence to know you're the best candidate, and do the work before hand to make sure that confidence is not misplaced. The folks you'll be talking to will most likely been hiring for years and can spot artifice a mile off. Be yourself, but make sure that you've got your ducks in a row. Talk to anyone you can to understand the role better, and ask questions at the end of the interview that demonstrate that you're a long way along the learning curve, and have genuine gaps of your knowledge, rather than one of those "I-found-some-really-good-questions-to-ask-on-the-internet" questions.

And enjoy the process!

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.

M

[maggenpye]

Don't just tell them what you bring to the job, also list the things you want to gain from the position. You're going for the job because there's something in it for you - be honest about that. I've had several job interviews where this was the deciding factor.

I think I got at least one job with this method, but don't know how effective it really is: Do not cross your arms or legs (legs: together and angled from knees to floor if you're female, apart but not wide open if you're male.) Your body language should be 'open', with your ams on the arms of the chair if it has them, or with hands folded (not clasped) on your knees if it doesn't.

[olivesmarch4th]

Eye contact. Firm handshake.

If you can, learn ahead of time the names of your interviewers. When I interviewed for my current position I greeted my interviewers with eye-contact, a firm handshake, and a polite, ''Mr. Interviewer, pleased to meet you.''

I am of the belief that when it comes to an interview, first impressions are extremely important.

Also, be prepared. Come with extra copies of everything. Plan ahead of time how you will respond to the most common kinds of interview questions. If you start to feel that nervous energy, channel it into demonstrating your remarkable enthusiasm about the job. Because of how passionately you feel about this position, your enthusiasm is definitely going to be one of your greater strengths.

Find a way to convey that this is your dream job, without actually saying, ''This is my dream job.'' Pay attention to the details of the position -- prove you've researched what the work would entail. For my current position, I read their entire website ahead of time, and had questions at the ready when they asked my background with their company. The more specific your questions and comments, the more your thorough preparation and enthusiasm will shine through.

[Northern Thalia]

Thanks, all good advice so far. I didn't even think to not wear perfume, but, now that it has been mentioned, it was a very duh moment for me.

Last night I read over most of the website, and some other materials that were given to me by someone who works there. I've also started reading the legislation that mandated this branch of government exist, which I've heard I will need to know for future interviews.

I know that I shouldn't be too excited/hopeful, and one half of my brain is attempting to calm down the wildly excited other half of my brain that is already planning on moving to another city for this job, and picking out future business casual attire for it! I think the fact that I am this excited allows me to research the company, and prepare to the extent that I am, so that's a good thing!

I realize that most people are nervous in interviews. Lately, I've been doing interviews in a second language, and when I come out of it, it's like I pop out of a daze, and am left wondering what I just said. So I'm also fairly nervous that I'll have to speak French, and be left wondering what the hell happened at the end of the interview for this job as well!

Thanks for all the well wishes!:D

[Boyo Jim]

French? Make sure to insult all the English speakers. :p

[msmith537]

Be careful about the whole using-their-name-a-lot thing. It can read very differently depending on the relationship between the two people. From some people, to me, it feels like an attempt at establishing dominance.


Well, Lama Pacos, now that you mention it, I tend to think it sound phony and forced.



How do you normally act when you meet someone for the first time? BE likeable. Smile. Make eyecontact. Speak clearly. Act like you're interested in what they have to say. Listen more than you speak. I hate interviewees who ramble on about nothing.

[CairoCarol]

IMHO, use of a person's name more than 1-2 times per conversation (and that many times only if it happens naturally) is definitely slimy and insincere. The only people it impresses are other slimy, insincere people.

I speak from experience. During the 1990s, in a rare deviation from my career with non-profits and NGOs, I worked for about 3 years with a contract programming firm and thus came into a lot of contact with salespeople. Without fail, the people in sales used my name in conversation far more than anyone else I have ever known. It came across as manipulative and insulted my intellgence - why would I fall for such obvious attempts to get on my good side?

[alice_in_wonderland]

I like what everyone else has said. I want to add a couple of things. When you first enter the interview room, make eye contact and smile - a nice big one with teeth. Make sure the smile reaches your eyes. When you meet the interviewer say how nice it is to meet them and how thankful you are for the opportunity to talk to them. Be sincere.

I agree with everyone else who says lay off the name dropping all the time - I hate it when people do that - it comes accross as phoney, and I really don't like being managed, which is what it also suggests.

Make sure your shoes and bag are polished and tidy looking, bring extra copies of your resume and references, and relax.

Finally, I think it's perfectly OK to tell the interviewer that this is your dream job in those exact words - you'll come accross as candid and honest.

Good luck! And remember - SMILE!

[lobotomyboy63]

I don't know if it was mentioned, but: firm handshake and good eye contact.

If you notice something, e.g. a fish mounted on the wall, you can discuss fishing to develop rapport. Be extremely careful not to come off as insincere about this. If he/she says, "Yes, I'm originally from Montana," you can say, "I hear there's some really pretty country out that way," etc.

And a little reverse psychology: "Why should I work for you?" (worded differently). The parallel I would draw is dating---if you tell a person of the opposite sex that you want him/her really badly, it isn't likely to go anywhere. You want them to think you have other options, that you're not "easy," etc. because it makes you more valuable in their eyes.

[Khadaji]

I always tell people to smile, smile, smile. Everyone appears more to be more likable if they are happy.

[Speaker for the Dead]

The most important thing is to appear self confident and at ease with both yourself and your surroundings. The best way to accomplish this is to not want the job. Work on it. Convince yourself that you'd like the job, but it wouldn't bother you in the least not to get it. Believe me this can be done.I agree with this. I did it for my medical interview, and that went swimmingly. You're immediately more confident and a little more willing to speak frankly (not rudely) rather than being tempted to try to say what you think they want to hear. Great way to come across as a strong candidate. The analogy to dating is a good one.

[Elret]

How exciting! It's so awesome to find a job that genuinely interests you. I hope you kick ass! I've sat on a handful of boards for gov jobs and participated in a bunch more and just have a couple of questions (if you don't mind) - Is it a behaviour-based interview? Were the competencies outlined in the poster? Did you have to do any kind of written portion?

[Northern Thalia]

How exciting! It's so awesome to find a job that genuinely interests you. I hope you kick ass! I've sat on a handful of boards for gov jobs and participated in a bunch more and just have a couple of questions (if you don't mind) - Is it a behaviour-based interview? Were the competencies outlined in the poster? Did you have to do any kind of written portion?

This is an information session regarding the position, and a 'primary' interview. If I do well in these, there will be a written test to determine how concisely I can write, as well as a French as a Second Language Test *gulp*.

There are vague requirements, such as you have to have a Degree, etc. etc., but nothing specific. I have heard from people who work there that they are looking for women with degrees. I also heard from a less reliable source that they are looking for women with psychology degrees. Enter Northern Thalia (J'espère!).

[Shodan]

Be nice to the receptionist, especially after the interview.

Regards,
Shodan