I hate where I live.

[Quasimodal]

I try really hard to fit in here, but I just fucking hate this place so much. I live in a redneck town. Everyone here is married to a rigger or an engineer so as a teacher I feel piss poor all the time. I have tried very hard to fit into the small arts community here as well, but it is so small and no one supports it so nothing exciting happens.

I came out here for a job two years ago and I have committed myself for one more year (which will be my last). I have only done so for financial reasons. But jesus I feel like I'm wasting my youth in this town. It seems to be wearing be down pyschologically. Sometimes I think I'm the problem...like if I just sold out what I enjoy doing with my life I could maybe fit in. But I don't want to do that, I want to be who I am.

At least summer is here so I can retreat to my hometown for two months. Next year is going to be HELL! But at least I'm working towards either teaching in my hometown, teaching overseas, or going for my masters in music. The money will give me options. I can't wait to resign next year.

This has been the hardest year of my life, I feel like a social outcast, and I have felt incredibly alone. I sincerely hope next year will be better.

And I hope my choice to come out here hasn't been in vain.

Has anyone else gone through the same thing?

[TokyoBayer]

Move. Money isn't worth it.

[Linty Fresh]

Move. Money isn't worth it.

Seconded. I grew up in those sorts of towns. I joined the army after college partly to get the fuck away from it, and to this day I cannot grasp the reasoning of my parents who decided to move there in the first place. I don't really like Boston anymore either, but Boston is Shangri-fucking-La compared to those towns.

Oh, and you didn't ask for advice, but I'm giving it to you anyway. Go teach overseas. After your little internship in Hell, you deserve a break from the ordinary, and it's not like anywhere you're likely to wind up could be that much worse, is it?

[Quasimodal]

No kidding guys...you're both right, I know i should go I wanted to leave this year. I chickened out, but I;m going to make the most of next year to ensure I get a good job next year in a city I want to be in...or go for my masters. I don't want to duck out of my contract and burn bridges, so I've decided to stay one more year and at least be in a good financial spot next year.

At least this little experience has taught me to value every moment in life.

[TokyoBayer]

The trick is to remember that everytime you feel pissed off. Get a new hobby. Write a novel, whatever. A year isn't that long, unless you are counting the seconds.

[Soul]

Sounds like you've moved to the little shitbucket I grew up in. The good thing about that sort of place: when it's over, freedom tastes incredibly sweet.

[Uzi]

I've lived in Calgary for 28 years now. I don't have a whole lot of friends there and really haven't met anyone new for years now. Although, I don't really hate it.
I've wanted to move to Hong Kong since I went there for the first time in 2002 and the last time I was there for 5 weeks last January. I love the place and can't help but meet people all the time.
The place I live feels like I'm just visiting and the place I visit occasionally feels like home even though I don't live there. Weird.

[Furious_Marmot]

I know from whence you speak. The economics of your situation and the future of your career should be foremost, but your sanity is a close second. How hard have you looked for alternate employment for next year? What about moving to a better place for slightly less money and making up the difference with a part time job? If you can get as good a deal or better elsewhere, then why give a shit about burning bridges with a small number of small town people who you will almost certainly never see again, because they will almost certainly never work outside of their crappy little region? Screw them. If they really need you that badly, they can pay you enough that you wouldn't care that you are in hell. If they are as provincial and have as little in common with you as you say, they probably don't want you in their town to begin with. Assuming you don't have a contract, of course. Even if you do, what penalty is there for not continuing your employment? Would they really go through the trouble and expense of suing you for breach of contract? Graduate school is a great place to hide out during a bad economy, especially since you can still have a net positive income from loans, paid research/teaching, and part time jobs, while you are getting the paper for a better job. Of course, I imagine the demand for teachers never goes away. I'm rambling, sorry. My point is: the only reasons to live soemwhere shitty is are pay or career advancement that you cannot get elsewhere. It just burns me up to see people stuck for any other reason.

[scout1222]

Well, at least your location field is apt.

(Come on, didn't the rest of you pause to look at his location?)

[Ca3799]

Well, at least your location field is apt.

(Come on, didn't the rest of you pause to look at his location?)

I did! :p

[bannerrefugee]

I know how you feel.

I came from a pretty big city I lived in a great neighborhood. I knew and liked most of my neighbors. Our new neighbors do not speak to us.

Now we live in a backwater. There is almost no good food, we have almost no friends outside of work, my main hobby is worthless here, there are no good radio stations or movies theaters. This place is boring me to death.

The locals are for the most part, insular, poorly uneducated bunch whose life revolves around church. Even the fucking air and water in this pit stinks. We came here because of my wife’s job, which is hard as hell. Unfortunately we probably have 4 more years of this shit.

Get out as soon as you can.

[Cisco]

Where are you?

[kniz]

Looked up some past posts and came up with this: "Male, 25 years old, Lloydminster Saskatchewan, Canada"

[MrSquishy]

Looked up some past posts and came up with this: "Male, 25 years old, Lloydminster Saskatchewan, Canada"Well, that's the problem. All he needs to do is move a few blocks west to Lloydminster, Alberta, Canada. Everything will be different.

[kushiel]

Well, that's the problem. All he needs to do is move a few blocks west to Lloydminster, Alberta, Canada. Everything will be different.

And for anyone who thinks he's kidding, he's not. Drive over the provincial line and it's like a totally different city.

I know gas ain't cheap, but any chance of driving to Edmonton or Calgary for a weekend trip or something every month or two? Just getting away for that long could help.

The big problem is that Lloyd is so tiny. But yeah, everyone that moves there basically lives for the day they can leave. My brother lasted about the same length of time. This is odd, since he loves living in PA.

[Lisa Ann]

To me, Hell is cloudy, cold, rainy and snowy-I grew up in Santa Barbara and moved to Oregon over five years ago. Still haven't adjusted. Some mornings it's all I can do to take offramp to work and not just keep driving south towards heaven.

[Bites When Provoked]

The place I live feels like I'm just visiting and the place I visit occasionally feels like home even though I don't live there. Weird.I feel the same about Seattle. I've never felt any affinity for South Australia and I've lived here all my life - but from Day 1 in Seattle (which couldn't be any more different) I felt like I'd come home. I only had five weeks there and it broke my heart to have to leave. (Seriously, I mourned that place like I'd lost a loved one.)

At least the experience gave me new incentive to upgrade my skills so that I can hopefully move in the next five years and not have to fight too hard for a job at the other end.

Seattle, sadly, can never be my home (except in my heart.../wistful sigh) but New Zealand'll fulfil my dreams of a cooler, wetter, calmer climate. And with the amount of New Zealanders hopping across to Australia in search of higher wages, finding a job hopefully won't suck. I'm prepared to take a significant hit in wages just so I can live in an environment that isn't dry, dead and dusty, and doesn't make me depressed every time I look at it.

[Uzi]

I feel the same about Seattle. I've never felt any affinity for South Australia and I've lived here all my life - but from Day 1 in Seattle (which couldn't be any more different) I felt like I'd come home. I only had five weeks there and it broke my heart to have to leave. (Seriously, I mourned that place like I'd lost a loved one.)

Exactly. I was ready to leave my wife to move to Hong Kong. But we fixed things up, though (she would move there with me, but her MS wouldn't allow her to live there). I still feel like I've lost something forever. Its like I've taken the safe path on the road of life and I'll never become what I could of been because of it. It very much sucks.

poorly uneducated bunch It always happens that when you try to slag a whole group of people you end up looking like you're a member!

[Quasimodal]

And for anyone who thinks he's kidding, he's not. Drive over the provincial line and it's like a totally different city.

I know gas ain't cheap, but any chance of driving to Edmonton or Calgary for a weekend trip or something every month or two? Just getting away for that long could help.

The big problem is that Lloyd is so tiny. But yeah, everyone that moves there basically lives for the day they can leave. My brother lasted about the same length of time. This is odd, since he loves living in PA.

Actually, I now live on the alberta side.

There's so many problems with me and where I live I don't even want to go into half of them. Just review my other posts because I've been bitching about it all year. I'm trying not to go into another depressive funk like I've been in many times this year. But it has been a rough week.

I'm an extroverted introvert. I like to do extroverted things but i can be very shy and closed to other people until I feel safe around them. Since few people here share my interests, I have had a very hard time making new friends since I've moved here. I have been so lonely ever since I came here it's catching up with me. At least now it's summer so I can move back to Saskatoon (I love home). I keep thinking that I don't know how I will survive another year here, but I'm going to try to do some different activities (like soccer or swimming) next year, and hopefully become a bit more social. Since I've been trying desparately to save money I haven't travelled much. I've made some poor choices financially over the last couple years and I'm trying to remedy that as well. I would love to go into edmonton or Saskatoon more often, but I'm pretty much at the mercy of the few friends I have out here, because I do not want to go alone.

And yes I am looking looking looking for new employment. It's either teaching elsewhere (not in a small town), teaching overseas, or going for my masters in music.

I swear doing music and teaching has been harder then I ever imagined it to be. If I didn't love music so much, I'd try something else, but it keeps pulling me back.

Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know.

[Quasimodal]

I know from whence you speak. The economics of your situation and the future of your career should be foremost, but your sanity is a close second. How hard have you looked for alternate employment for next year? What about moving to a better place for slightly less money and making up the difference with a part time job? If you can get as good a deal or better elsewhere, then why give a shit about burning bridges with a small number of small town people who you will almost certainly never see again, because they will almost certainly never work outside of their crappy little region? Screw them. If they really need you that badly, they can pay you enough that you wouldn't care that you are in hell. If they are as provincial and have as little in common with you as you say, they probably don't want you in their town to begin with. Assuming you don't have a contract, of course. Even if you do, what penalty is there for not continuing your employment? Would they really go through the trouble and expense of suing you for breach of contract? Graduate school is a great place to hide out during a bad economy, especially since you can still have a net positive income from loans, paid research/teaching, and part time jobs, while you are getting the paper for a better job. Of course, I imagine the demand for teachers never goes away. I'm rambling, sorry. My point is: the only reasons to live soemwhere shitty is are pay or career advancement that you cannot get elsewhere. It just burns me up to see people stuck for any other reason.

You make a lot of good points. Let's just say when I first came here, I was seriously unconfident thinking I would fail as a teacher and have to switch careers. Now that I've finished my second year, I've learned the opposite is true. My kids have done really well, and I have come a long way.

I didn't leave before this year because I graduated university lacking a skill set required for teaching. I didn't have a concept of an orchestral or symphonic band. I have used these last two years to build a base that my university education (or myself, I'm not too sure which) failed me in. And with my emotional problems this year I didn't know how well I would adjust to moving again.

To sum up my first year was good: I came and conquered

This year has been nice for refining skills, but the social problems really caught up with me

Next year worries me because it will be hard to grow professionally, and the social problems will linger.

I've decided to stay because I want the $$$ and I want the time to set up a good job for the year after. It's the play it safe choice. It's all I know to do right now.

[Quasimodal]

And for anyone who thinks he's kidding, he's not. Drive over the provincial line and it's like a totally different city.

I know gas ain't cheap, but any chance of driving to Edmonton or Calgary for a weekend trip or something every month or two? Just getting away for that long could help.

The big problem is that Lloyd is so tiny. But yeah, everyone that moves there basically lives for the day they can leave. My brother lasted about the same length of time. This is odd, since he loves living in PA.

And dammit, I'm proud of Saskatchewan. Even if Lloyd Saskatchewan is total dive, I always wished I had saskatchewan plates on my car!

And Since you are familiar with Lloyd here is what I hate; I hate the trucks, I hate the oil, and I hate the lifestyle. Only here have I seen fake testicles attached to trailer hitches. What the fuck is that about?

[kayT]

Oh no; we have those "balls" in LA even. That frame of mind is not geographically limited, sadly.

[Uzi]

Only here have I seen fake testicles attached to trailer hitches. What the fuck is that about?

I wish I knew. I've seen it once in Calgary and can only imagine the mindset (or lack of same) of someone that would put something like that on their truck. Who ever it was was driving like the dick they seemed to want to emulate.

[elmwood]

Here in east suburban Cleveland, Ohio, USA, I've met a diverse group of people by joining the curling club that's just a few blocks away from my house.

Prairies = curling a'plenty. Every small town there has one, if not more curling clubs. It sounds lame at first, but it's a good way to find a circle of friends fast. Whatcha' think?

[John Mace]

I know how you feel.

I came from a pretty big city I lived in a great neighborhood. I knew and liked most of my neighbors. Our new neighbors do not speak to us.

Now we live in a backwater. There is almost no good food, we have almost no friends outside of work, my main hobby is worthless here, there are no good radio stations or movies theaters. This place is boring me to death.

The locals are for the most part, insular, poorly uneducated bunch...
Does that mean they are well educated? :)

[Paul in Qatar]

I extend my deepest condolences to the OP.

[Quasimodal]

I'm not into curling alas...

But as of today, it is officially summer. Which means I can put these problems aside for awhile...because I am moving home for 8 weeks! WOOHOO!

[Zoe]

Quasi, when you come back, please consider making an effort to get to know some of these guys on their own level. There is more to friendship that intellectual stimulation. I posted this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9949649&postcount=8) earlier this week.


Have a great vacation! I'm thrilled that you like teaching and are good at it!

[Sage Rat]

I grew up in a little town. The point of little towns is to live the hermit's life. Social activities are something you do when you get old and decide to pick up bingo and square dancing. Until then you drive around in your pickup and go to work at your grunt-work job, while at home you actually spend most of your time studying history and math, making furniture, and improving yourself...or going out and getting drunk every night. One of those two. Either way, only the latter one is a social activity.

So essentially, your choice is to take up a hermitous life of self-improvement and individual exploration for a year, to step out and start leading gatherings (which might all be old people who attend), or leave. Trying to volunteer for a city council or something might be another thing to do, though I suspect that the other people there and the discussions raised will make you want to commit homicide.

Though of course, my little town was an actual town, not just someplace that was a glorified company town. So the dynamics might be considerably different from what I said.

[focusonz]

Depression is depressing! Ah, but the thing is it builds so much character if you resurrect yourself from it by yourself. Most of the great thinkers, artists, inventors throughout history were alone, were forced to overcome adversity, and did it on their own. In the process they became unique one of a kind individuals and not hermits but rather oracles.

At this time in your life it is about discipline which you seem to be excelling at with your teaching, congratulations. 'Bridges' are very important, they let you get back to where you were. And a stash of cash is very comforting.

I might suggest however in your free time rather than counting the seconds as they tick off show some discipline there, too. The technique is to schedule your free time to make the most of it. Just don't float through. Draw a big calender and schedule your free time just like you schedule your class time or your exercise time. Then discipline yourself to keep to that calender.

Even in northern Alberta there are just tons of possible experiences that don't make it a 'shitbucket' or a 'backwater' but rather make it a unique once in a lifetime opportunity, like:
Snow camping
Curling
Ice Skating
Fishing
Hunting
Astronomy
Summer Camping
Learn Survival Skills
Canoing
cross country skiing
Snowmobiling
Bug collecting
Drill rigging
Engineering
Ah and my favorite, Beer making!
Ah and my other favorite, Counting money
Composing
the list is nearly endless!

Personally, I would have got a summer job on the oil rigs.

This to shall pass, as it did for me. I plopped myself down in New Jersey for four years and was immediately depressed by the weight of all those people and their strange ways. And then with the technique above I did things that enriched my life and gave me wonderful memories. As to the people, well I became the life of the party, go figure. Psst, when making new acquaintances in a new place listen intently and keep your mouth shut. A good listener is universally appreciated. Your not the only one with problems you know and besides you can't learn anything new if you talk all the time.

Be conservative and be happy everyday or be liberal and regret all the could have beens of a lifetime!.You can create heaven where ever you are!

[jjimm]

(she would move there with me, but her MS wouldn't allow her to live there).Just out of curiosity, what is it about the MS that would be worse there than where you are? HK healthcare is really good, and there are lots of Hong Kongers with MS who do as well as can be expected.

[Uzi]

Just out of curiosity, what is it about the MS that would be worse there than where you are? HK healthcare is really good, and there are lots of Hong Kongers with MS who do as well as can be expected.

It's the heat that would do her in. Anytime she gets in temperatures above 24-25C she starts losing feeling in her extremities. Summer temperatures in HK are quite a bit higher than that. The unfortunate thing is that she likes HK almost as much as I do.

[jjimm]

Ah, I getcha. Yeah, that would suck.

[Quasimodal]

Just so people know I haven't been counting the seconds...although it feels like it sometimes. As you are all seeing, I am a fairly stubborn person. When I went to Europe last summer on a solo backpacking adventure, I realized how much I missed playing music and vowed when I came back I would make music my goal.

And through thick and thin I worked on it to death this year. I got up at 6:00 in the morning to practice before school, and then I would practice afterschool. I listed to over 60 Albums of classical music to memorize the repertiore...and I listed to hard stuff like Stravinsky and Richard Strauss. I worked on my conducting. I worked on a film composition, and I learned a new instrument. I did this mostly alone, which only contributed to my depressive ways.

I understand what people say that I could be happier if I just caved and did what everyone else around me was doing. But I just can't! If I go and hang out and watch CSI at someone's place for an evening and talk boring talk about school / whatever, I feel guilty I'm not working on music or doing what I want to do. I don't want to become a victim of where I live and sacrifice my dreams. I think I'm lucky to have dreams still at age 25, and I want to realize all of them.

I think the problem with where I live is no one understands the last paragraph. Everyone has settled. I know I'm stubborn, and I know it's not easy, but it is what I want to do that counts. I know eventually I will find people who will support and encourage me. I will in turn support and encourage them because we have similar interests. And then I will be happy.

Does any of this make sense or I am I crazy?

[ignis_glaciesque]

*ye olde snippe*

Does any of this make sense or I am I crazy?

Makes perfect sense, and no, you are not crazy. You seek to be someone out of the ordinary, and in doing so, you're already out of the ordinary. Do what makes you happy, but expect some suffering along the road to get to where you want to go. It's what makes it worth it.

[Linty Fresh]

I understand what people say that I could be happier if I just caved and did what everyone else around me was doing.

I don't understand this. Even if you could cave and do that--and I agree that it doesn't sound as if you could--you'd be miserable, probably more miserable than you are now.

I'd say you're definitely on the right track. You just have to take the plunge and move somewhere that's right for you.

Be conservative and be happy everyday or be liberal and regret all the could have beens of a lifetime!.You can create heaven where ever you are!

Or be focusonz and be conservative everyday and be . . . well, kind of fucked up.

Ahhh, just kidding focusonz. You're the voice of reason. The reason that I might just go ahead and vote for Obama, just to imagine the look on your face when he wins.

That's the cool thing for having two guys you hate in the running. You don't have to worry about which one to vote for, because we're probably screwed either way. Best of all, neither of them are Bush. We can't lose! [/end hijack]

[kushiel]

And dammit, I'm proud of Saskatchewan. Even if Lloyd Saskatchewan is total dive, I always wished I had saskatchewan plates on my car!

And Since you are familiar with Lloyd here is what I hate; I hate the trucks, I hate the oil, and I hate the lifestyle. Only here have I seen fake testicles attached to trailer hitches. What the fuck is that about?

Yeah, I grew up in the farming part of Saskatchewan, not the resources, so I don't really get that part of things. I just cringe when I think of going to work on the rigs, my brother's friend did and he came back paralyzed.


I understand what people say that I could be happier if I just caved and did what everyone else around me was doing. But I just can't! If I go and hang out and watch CSI at someone's place for an evening and talk boring talk about school / whatever, I feel guilty I'm not working on music or doing what I want to do. I don't want to become a victim of where I live and sacrifice my dreams. I think I'm lucky to have dreams still at age 25, and I want to realize all of them.

I think the problem with where I live is no one understands the last paragraph. Everyone has settled. I know I'm stubborn, and I know it's not easy, but it is what I want to do that counts. I know eventually I will find people who will support and encourage me. I will in turn support and encourage them because we have similar interests. And then I will be happy.

Does any of this make sense or I am I crazy?


We Saskatchewanians have a habit of staying insulated. There are two things to attain to: being a high-falutin' Regina resident who pretends to be a Torontonian, or hitting it rich in Calgary/Edmonton. I totally get the lack of culture. I come from one of the only places worse than Lloyd - PA. We couldn't even sustain 2 Coles!

[focusonz]

Or be focusonz and be conservative everyday and be . . . well, kind of fucked up.
Ahhh, just kidding focusonz. You're the voice of reason. The reason that I might just go ahead and vote for Obama, just to imagine the look on your face when he wins.
That's the cool thing for having two guys you hate in the running.
Last things first and first things last.

Never say or mean or act hate! Hate is an emotion and then when the worm turns then you will hate some more and more and more. Use rational thought and tally the list of trade offs of each candidate and then vote. Then when the worm turns you will know that you did rightly at the cusp. You maintained your principles and your conscience is clear and you have no emotional surplusage and can be happy.

Quasimodal please do not hate where you are. If you feel that emotion coming on, go outside and look at the Northern lights playing across the milky way and write a song about it.

Linty Fresh, you will never see the look on my face. You will see nothing but assholes and elbows as I head to the hills.

Quasimodal What I meant being conservative is less a political doctrine than a habit of mind, a mode of feeling, a way of living.

Quasimodal be conservative and
1. Abide by the habit of the contract as there are no extenuating circumstance that you cannot, other than the fact you are in tim-buc-too and are ... well whatever.
2. Feel for those people and their children around you and give them the best teaching service that you are able insuring that your mood does not effect that service.
3. Live to the fullest by taking advantage of experiences as they are presented. You will not pass this way again!

Do not attempt to modify the complex web of human interactions that form human society, for the sake of some doctrine or theory (or emotional state) , runs the risk of running afoul of the iron law of unintended consequences.

Where as liberal casts fate to the wind to achieve total individual freedom not bound by traditional or conventional ideas and values. And my observations are that they are rarely happy because total individual freedom can never be achieved and these days liberals seem to be motivated by hate and rage and emotion more than anything else and like Linty Fresh be . . . well, kind of fucked up. Ahhh, just kidding Linty Fresh.

[Quasimodal]

Last things first and first things last.

Never say or mean or act hate! Hate is an emotion and then when the worm turns then you will hate some more and more and more. Use rational thought and tally the list of trade offs of each candidate and then vote. Then when the worm turns you will know that you did rightly at the cusp. You maintained your principles and your conscience is clear and you have no emotional surplusage and can be happy.

Quasimodal please do not hate where you are. If you feel that emotion coming on, go outside and look at the Northern lights playing across the milky way and write a song about it.

Linty Fresh, you will never see the look on my face. You will see nothing but assholes and elbows as I head to the hills.

Quasimodal What I meant being conservative is less a political doctrine than a habit of mind, a mode of feeling, a way of living.

Quasimodal be conservative and
1. Abide by the habit of the contract as there are no extenuating circumstance that you cannot, other than the fact you are in tim-buc-too and are ... well whatever.
2. Feel for those people and their children around you and give them the best teaching service that you are able insuring that your mood does not effect that service.
3. Live to the fullest by taking advantage of experiences as they are presented. You will not pass this way again!

Do not attempt to modify the complex web of human interactions that form human society, for the sake of some doctrine or theory (or emotional state) , runs the risk of running afoul of the iron law of unintended consequences.

Where as liberal casts fate to the wind to achieve total individual freedom not bound by traditional or conventional ideas and values. And my observations are that they are rarely happy because total individual freedom can never be achieved and these days liberals seem to be motivated by hate and rage and emotion more than anything else and like Linty Fresh be . . . well, kind of fucked up. Ahhh, just kidding Linty Fresh.

Lol, I'm as stubborn as a mule. The day I hand in my Liberal stripes will be a cold day post global warming :)

Seriously, teaching is the best part of my stay. I love the kids (even the snotty ones) and I love sharing my passion for music with them. They seriously have saved me from going into a complete downward spiral. I never thought I really needed kids in my life till I began teaching them.

As for the hate thing. I don't know. I'm reminded of something I heard on LOST once; The struggle a moth goes through to free itself from it's cocoon is what makes it strong enough to survive. I know I shouldn't submit to hating a place...yet I'm also trying to be honest with myself about what I want to do in life.

These past few days off have been very nice for reflecting on the year. I already feel like I'm making positive changes in my life. I'm hooking up with some old friends, some of which I haven't seen in years. There will be some good conversations in the coming weeks.

[focusonz]

Lol, I'm as stubborn as a mule. The day I hand in my Liberal stripes will be a cold day post global warming :)
Yah yah, I wasn't trying to be political. Good for you!

But, I am concerned!

I reviewed your history of posts and learned that 13 months ago you lost a lot of weight, which means you had a radical change in diet.

And I observed that this depression thing of yours started about the same time. 13 months is a long time for depression without an underlying cause.

I might suggest you are not getting enough vitamin D in the far north. I wish you would go to a doctor or at least get yourself on some dietary supplements. I also suggest some big doses of B12 while your at it. Of course, I cannot give you medical advice and you administer at your own risk. Consult the Internet and that Doctor.

D and B12 and a multi and DHEA keep me pumped and on top of the world. Boy if your problem is just vitamin deficiency I will be somewhat pissed over all the psycho babble that has been dispensed. oh well I will put it all in my black bag for the next patient to come around.

You moved south for the summer. Sunshine on the skin produces most of the vitamin D that you need. http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/depression.shtml

Good luck!

[Northern Piper]

I might suggest you are not getting enough vitamin D in the far north.
...
You moved south for the summer. Huh?

Lloydminster is the far north? Moving to Saskatoon will make a difference?

Lloyd (http://www.convertunits.com/distance/city/Lloydminster,+Canada) is only 53° 17' N- not much of the far north.

And Saskatoon (http://www.bcca.org/misc/qiblih/latlong_ca.html#SASKATCHEWAN) is 52° 10' N.

I honestly don't think much of your diagnosis, based on your geography, focusonz.

[Quasimodal]

Hmm? My weight has gained by about 15 pounds over the last two years. I absolutely haven't lost weight (I wish I had!) I often run outside 3 - 5 times a week so there is no shortage of Vitamin D.

Theres so many factors that have led to my terrible year. Please leave the sorting to me, this thread is just supposed to be a vent on one of the problems.

[focusonz]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8697241&postcount=8

Rough calculation that one degree of latitude means Insolation is 20%, 10%, 5% greater in Saskatoon vs, Edmonton for nov. dec. jan. and feb. oct. and mar. sep. respectively. Less sunshine (insolation) is significant in winter months and is exacerbated if one does not go outside during daylight hours.

See Saskatoon http://www.gaisma.com/en/location/saskatoon.html
See Edmonton http://www.gaisma.com/en/location/edmonton.html

These days, vitamin D deficiency has become commonplace, even in the tropics. For instance, a sampling of adults in sunny Honolulu showed that half were low in D. http://www.motherearthnews.com/Natural-Health/2008-02-01/Vitamin-D-Sunshine-Supplements.aspx
Vitamin supplements are recommended for everyone regardless of age.
Especially if you do not drink milk and exercise as you say.

almost all of the U.S. milk supply is fortified with 100 IU/cup of vitamin D (25% of the Daily Value or 50% of the AI level for ages 14-50 years) http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/vitamind.asp
Take your vitamins kid and you will likely not hate where you live but just dislike it to some degree. I loved living in Ponoka, Alberta.

[shawn901]

To me, Hell is cloudy, cold, rainy and snowy-I grew up in Santa Barbara and moved to Oregon over five years ago. Still haven't adjusted. Some mornings it's all I can do to take offramp to work and not just keep driving south towards heaven.
...And I thought I was the only person in the world who thought about getting off the freeway on the way to work, and driving home! Totally relate - grew up in Los Angeles, moved to the Bay Area. It's cold, gloomy, and really surprisingly, difficult to make friends. A very different vibe than LA. I thought people in LA were snobs, but they don't come close to the arrogance of Northern Cal residents. Feel trapped because I committed to my new employer. Oh well, at least I can fly back easily...

[Silophant]

Welcome to the boards, shawn901. Just as a heads-up, this thread is four and a half years old, so the OPs situation may have (I believe has) changed.

[Rand Rover]

I live in a redneck town. Everyone here is married to a rigger

Boy, I sure read that wrong the first time (and was mightily confused--that didn't seem like typical redneck activity). I blame my recent viewing of Django Unchained.

[TonySinclair]

Has anyone else gone through the same thing?

Actually, probably over 90% of the all the people who have ever lived have had absolutely no choice in where they lived, or what they did for a very poor living.

Probably 95% of all the women who ever lived had no education, and no choice in who they married at age 14, before spending the rest of their short life in continuous drudgery, and almost continuous pregnancy.

Sorry to take it out on you, but I'm tired of people who can go wherever they want, and do whatever they want, and pretty much buy whatever they want short of really extravagant luxuries, whining about how tough they have it because their life isn't perfect. If you don't like your circumstances, change them. If you only have to wait a year to do that, you're way ahead of most people.

[John Mace]

...And I thought I was the only person in the world who thought about getting off the freeway on the way to work, and driving home! Totally relate - grew up in Los Angeles, moved to the Bay Area. It's cold, gloomy, and really surprisingly, difficult to make friends. A very different vibe than LA. I thought people in LA were snobs, but they don't come close to the arrogance of Northern Cal residents. Feel trapped because I committed to my new employer. Oh well, at least I can fly back easily...

Well, I've lived in NorCal for over 25 years, and I love it here. You call this weekend cold? I was playing golf in shorts and a short-sleeved shirt yesterday. I'm from New England originally, and trust me... this ain't cold!

[Rand Rover]

Actually, probably over 90% of the all the people who have ever lived have had absolutely no choice in where they lived, or what they did for a very poor living.

Probably 95% of all the women who ever lived had no education, and no choice in who they married at age 14, before spending the rest of their short life in continuous drudgery, and almost continuous pregnancy.

Sorry to take it out on you, but I'm tired of people who can go wherever they want, and do whatever they want, and pretty much buy whatever they want short of really extravagant luxuries, whining about how tough they have it because their life isn't perfect. If you don't like your circumstances, change them. If you only have to wait a year to do that, you're way ahead of most people.

Agreed entirely. I wake up every morning and say "Yea! I didn't die in my sleep last night like billions of other people have! Anything else that happens today is gravy."

[Quasimodal]

Actually, probably over 90% of the all the people who have ever lived have had absolutely no choice in where they lived, or what they did for a very poor living.

Probably 95% of all the women who ever lived had no education, and no choice in who they married at age 14, before spending the rest of their short life in continuous drudgery, and almost continuous pregnancy.

Sorry to take it out on you, but I'm tired of people who can go wherever they want, and do whatever they want, and pretty much buy whatever they want short of really extravagant luxuries, whining about how tough they have it because their life isn't perfect. If you don't like your circumstances, change them. If you only have to wait a year to do that, you're way ahead of most people.

My 26 year old self takes no offense.

[Uzi]

Probably 95% of all the women who ever lived had no education, and no choice in who they married at age 14, before spending the rest of their short life in continuous drudgery, and almost continuous pregnancy.

When I explain all this to my wife, she still gets upset when I forget to take out the garbage. Ungrateful bitch!:p

[even sven]

Quasi, I am about to tell you the truest thing you've ever heard. I am saying this with 100% confidence, and I hope five years from now you look back on this thread, because you are going to agree with me. This is the truth about your life.

You need a massive change in your life..

Yeah, sure, money, blah blah. Money comes and goes. You've got a reasonably sellable vocation, no kids or mortgage, you don't owe money to the mob, you aren't retiring any time soon. It's okay to take a few risks, be a little irresponsible. You've got a good head on your shoulders and I promise that you are not going to end up broke on the streets. You'll figure it out, and it's all up from here.

But the life your living, dude, it's not for you. Somewhere out there right now, there is a dude just like you laying on the most beautiful beach you've ever seen in some tropical country, cheap beer in one hand and cute girl in the other. Somewhere right now, there is a foreign English teacher learning a new language, meeting a bunch of awesome people, and taking on the challenge of starting his own English school. You could be doing anything right now- hiking the Himalayas, bring education to some remote African village, doing something exciting in New York or Tokyo. And then there is you- no different from them- in nowheresville that you hate. The only difference is that they chose to be there, and you keep choosing to be where you are.

There is nothing keeping you from the life you want. The moment you decide to do it, you're going to get it. I'm pretty sure you know what you want to do. The only question here is how long you are going to drag it out with all this navel gazing, caution and second guessing. It'll happen eventually, why wait any longer? Why not just start doing what you want now, instead of doing a whole bunch of what you don't want. I promise you, you're going to make the change eventually anyway. You don't want to keep going like this. Stop wasting time.

School will be over by June. If you want to teach abroad (which I think is a good choice for you), you can easily be somewhere new by July if you start looking now. If you want to go to China, for example, you can basically count on being someplace by then. If you have a degree, it's basically a sure thing. You won't make enough to save much at first, but you'll live like a king locally, be able to travel in nearby countries, and eventually you'll start making enough money to save some. You'll still be lonely as hell and awkward and all that, but you'll at least have a good story out of it and you'll meet some cool people and learn a new language.

Or, do something else. Whatever strikes your fancy. Now is the time. And don't worry, you'll make good choices and you'll find a good job when you get back. You'll probably find an even better gig than you have now, and have a bigger and better professional network. Sure, you are on a good path now. But you are on a good path to nowhere you are actually interested in being. Do you really see your life culminating as a small town music teacher? If not, go find some way that leads to something you'd actually like it to culminate in. And if you fail- well, they aren't going to revoke your teaching certificate, are they? Even if you crash and burn (which you won't) at most you'll have a tough year or two and you'll be basically where you are now.

Get out of there, dude. Someone has to live the good life- why not you?

[April R]

My 26 year old self takes no offense.

LOL. So Quasi, since this is a thread zombie, where are you now and what are you doing with your life? Inquiring minds want to know. :D

[even sven]

Hahah, I didn't even catch that this is a zombie! Quasi what I said still holds true. Grab the bull by the horns!

[Quasimodal]

Hah! I love it. This is a great thread to return to.

I'm not sure I have the preserverence to sum up the last four years of my life in a post. I'm well documented on the dope as I'm a really open guy and I often need to express myself. But to quickly sum up:

1. Moved out of shit town to a better job.
2. Met a girl
3. Really liked my new job.
4. Went on strike, got screwed, really didn't like my profession. Became the joke of the community and workplace.
5. Studied in my free time for career change.
6. Moved in with girlfriend. Began long ass commute.
7. Gained weight.
8. Girlfriend Drama
9. Travelled to India with best friend.
10. Girlfriend Drama
11. Successful school year, felt better about job again.
12. Girlfriend dumped me on my birthday. Trauma.
13. Moved in with my folks, went to therapy
14. Graduated from therapy, took a trip to Montreal and Ottawa.
15. Lost 17 Pounds, back in decent running shape. Training for my fourth half marathon.
16. Here I am, enjoying the single life. Life is more happy now. :) Still have a long ass commute. Still taking classes.

Lately I'm finding I'm enjoying life quite a bit. I went to a Unitarian church today, took up swimming lessons, and am doing more music than ever (probably too much) I also played in a Pep Band this saturday and got paid to drink beer and play "Iron Man" on the trumpet. Also I think I'm less inclined to move far away, unless it's in Canada. I'd love to go to Montreal for awhile. I'd still like to go on a big trip this summer. There' lots of good things happening right now. I do want a change in my work though, and it may be as simple as changing what I teach.

Thanks all!

[DrumBum]

...snip...

I also played in a Pep Band this saturday and got paid to drink beer and play "Iron Man" on the trumpet.






I am trying to think of the parts in "Iron Man" that lend themselves to a trumpet and drawing a blank. I had to look up the definition of a "Pep Band" as well. Perhaps it is because, as my bandmates tell me, I am a drummer and not a musician. :(

[Quasimodal]

I am trying to think of the parts in "Iron Man" that lend themselves to a trumpet and drawing a blank. I had to look up the definition of a "Pep Band" as well. Perhaps it is because, as my bandmates tell me, I am a drummer and not a musician. :(

This gives the general idea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFHEQ5TCDVg

[JackieLikesVariety]

congrats on all the changes, Quasi, anyone still alive has got stuff to be grateful for. it was interesting reading even though it was a zombie thread.

so, if you continue to be a teacher - who & what do you want to teach?

[Quasimodal]

Math and music. Maybe something else. The big thing for me is to get a gig in the city that is reasonable.

[JackieLikesVariety]

I hear you. do you feel like you have a solid idea of what "reasonable" is?

I have been thinking, hard, about relocation for almost a year now & no place is perfect. literally! so I read on city-data.com (do they have forums for Canada?) and elsewhere and consider climate, size, politics, cost of living and more.

I want a UU church that is at least somewhat bigger than tiny, lots of sun but low humidity, and swing dancing. I would like a year-round farmer's market.

what do you want?

[Sitnam]

Drink. I'm sure that's what everyone else does it that town.

[Bob Ducca]

4. Went on strike, got screwed, really didn't like my profession. Became the joke of the community and workplace.


This sounds like an interesting story, would you mind sharing? Or if you've posted about it in the past, a link would be awesome.

[Ludovic]

I have been thinking, hard, about relocation for almost a year now & no place is perfect. literally
That's true for me as well because my criteria of having a big cultural scene (and by that I mean mostly rock music but also to a degree other forms of arts) conflicts with my criteria of having nature within walking distance from home (in addition to other criteria like retail walkability). I even have a scale from 0-14, and the place that is highest is Ithaca NY because it's walkable and beautiful, but it is only 12.5 out of 14 because it is not NYC. If its waterfalls and gorges were teleported to Poughkeepsie, then Poughkeepsie would score 13.5 because it is within commute distance to NYC.

(NYC itself only scores 9 or so because it is not close to waterfalls or hills.)

[Quasimodal]

This sounds like an interesting story, would you mind sharing? Or if you've posted about it in the past, a link would be awesome.

I don't know if i have, it's distant enough now I feel comfortable writing about it.

Basically our Union decided for us to go on strike on the day of our band tour and only gave me 24 hours notice. Everything happened so fast that day. We had spent all year practicing and fundraising for a four day trip. I tried to advocate for myself going on the trip and only being with kids during school hours so we didn't have to cancel. My school division decided there would be liability and insurance issues so they cancelled the tour. I had to resign myself to the fact I couldn't go. The parent of our band association was furious with me, and decided to take the kids all on her own. This split the group in half of those who supported me, and those who supported her. Long story short, half went, half didn't, the band tour was a joke, and a lot of trust and relationships suffered from it. It was my first year in the community, and I was just devastated. It by far was the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my career. I had a cloud over my head for teaching for almost a whole year, feeling that no matter what I did in the classroom, somehow It would either make no difference, or someone would come and attack my professionalism. It really has left a long term scar that I don't think will ever fully go away. It really nailed into me that the respect level people have for teachers is very low. I still feel that way for the most part, although now I just have a thicker skin.

[Bob Ducca]

Wow, that's an awful story. I can't even imagine how shitty that must have been to go through.

Oh wait, we're in the pit... so, umm... you probably deserved it and you're smelly too.

Seriously though, damn. What a crappy thing to have happen to those kids, and completely out of your control.